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Be vewwy quiet…

Now that he’s Attorney General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III is doing his very best to fulfill the warnings of those who said during his confirmation hearings that he’d be a disaster for civil and voting rights. Sessions’s DOJ dropped support Monday for part of a lawsuit against Texas’s voter ID law, which a federal court had determined discriminates against black and Latino voters. Sessions and the DOJ had previously requested the court delay judging whether the law was constitutional while Texas Republicans in the state legislature tinkered with it, but the court rejected that request.

DOJ lawyers will dismiss the department’s claim that the Voter ID law was written with the specific intent to discriminate, a key part of the case, although the DOJ will continue to argue the law has a discriminatory effect. Danielle Lang, deputy director of voting rights at the Campaign Legal Center, said that her group and the NAACP Legal Defense Fund will continue to fight both claims in court even though Sessions is dropping out of the question of intent. In effect, Sessions is conceding the law discriminates, but darned if he knows whether the Texas Lege (the “national laboratory for bad government,” as Molly Ivins called it) really meant to make voting harder for minority voters. Things just turned out that way, maybe.

Lang told Talking Points Memo she wasn’t especially impressed with the decision to drop the question of intent, which the DOJ under Obama had aggressively pursued:

There have been six years of litigation and no change in the facts […] We have already had a nine-day trial and presented thousands of pages of documents demonstrating that the picking and choosing of what IDs count was entirely discriminatory and would fall more harshly on minority voters. So for the DOJ to come in and drop those claims just because of a change of administration is outrageous.

She added she expects that even with the Justice Department backing away on part of the case, she nonetheless expects to prevail in court. The law has been tied up in litigation since it was passed in 2011, with civil rights groups arguing it was deliberately intended to make voting more difficult for Democratic-leaning constituencies like minority groups and young people. For instance, the law allows a gun license as an acceptable form of photo ID for voting, but not a student ID, because Reasons. With Texas’s enthusiasm for students carrying concealed weapons on campus, you’d think the two types of ID would be equivalent. The plaintiffs also note that in some parts of Texas, the nearest office to get an acceptable photo ID may be as far away as 100 miles from voters’ homes, which for many poor people makes getting to vote almost as difficult as getting an abortion. Neither of which Texas wants people doing too much of.

The law was blocked from going into effect for the 2016 elections in a decision by the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals; that decision allowed at least 16,000 Texans to vote who otherwise would have been turned away, which seems like the sort of thing that must be curtailed before too many of the wrong sort of people get it in their heads that voting is some kind of “right.”

Last summer, the appeals court agreed with the challengers, which then included the Justice Department, that the law had the effect of discriminating against minority voters, but it sent the question of whether the law was intentionally discriminatory back to the district court for further review after the election. The district court will hear arguments on that question in the hearing scheduled for Tuesday, but the Justice Department will no longer be on the side of voting rights advocates.

Honestly, that only seems fair. Since when was it the Justice Department’s business to get involved in voting rights cases anyway? Besides, Jeff Sessions has much more important work to do, like whipping up fear of violent crime, even though crime rates are at historic lows. In remarks he plans to deliver to the National Association of Attorneys General, Sessions acknowledges crime is down overall since the 1990s, but worries that any moment now, “like the first gusts of wind before a summer storm,” the crime rate could suddenly explode, because Barack Obama didn’t love cops enough. Sessions promises a lot more Law and Order, and looks forward to changing the sense among law enforcement that the federal government has “abandoned them,” the poor dears:

Their morale has suffered. And last year, amid this intense public scrutiny and criticism, the number of police officers killed in the line of duty increased 10 percent over the year before.

Might Sessions be fudging his numbers a little? Not exactly. Deaths of law enforcement officers from all causes — including accidents and traffic fatalities — were up 10 percent in 2016 over 2015, but that figure also leaves out the fact that policing is far safer than in previous decades. According to the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund, 135 cops died in 2016 (and yes, any death is terrible) but

That’s still lower than the average of the previous ten years, when total fatalities averaged just under 144 deaths per year. And it’s far lower than in decades past. According to NLEOMF data, in the 1970s, an average of 231 officers died each year. In the ’80s, the number who died each year never dipped below 175.

More importantly, 2016 data was increased by a small number of multiple shootings of officers, which skewed the one-year death rate upwards — again, a terrible thing, but hardly proof that we’re on the verge of anarchy and American Carnage.

You might think a long-term trend of declining crime rates and police deaths would be good news. But how the hell can you scare anyone that way? Maybe a compromise on these issues is possible: Allow people to vote only after they’ve been stopped and frisked.

Yr Wonkette is ad-free, and 100% reader supported. Please consider throwing money our way so we can continue to bring you cheerful stories about the disappearance of our rights.

[TPM / The Hill / NPR]

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  • Swampay

    The crime wave! It’s coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!!

  • GoutMachine

    Honest, occifer, we didn’t mean for it to be discriminatory! But now that it actually is, what’re you gonna do, amirite?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    It begins.

    • GoutMachine

      Lace up them jackboots, boys! It’s stompin’ time!

      • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

        I say bring it, bitches.

      • Swampay

        Unfortunately when I read this, I hear the voice of a southron gennulman and he inserts another word between “stompin'” and “time”. It is a word that starts with N that I will not write.

        • GoutMachine

          Yeah, it was implied.

      • Edith Prickly
        • Shanzgood

          Why do I always think David Caruso was in that movie? I KNOW he was too young.

        • Mr. Blobfish

          Conservatives view this as a lighthearted comedy.

  • Lizzietish81

    Sessions has also dismissed the DOJ findings that Chicago PD are racist and prone to violence and suggested broken windows strategies.

    eta:

    http://chicagoist.com/2017/02/28/jeff_sessions_doj_report_chicago.php

  • Edith Prickly

    Sessions acknowledges crime is down overall since the 1990s, but worries that any moment now, “like the first gusts of wind before a summer storm,” the crime rate could suddenly explode

    The hate-crime rate is certainly on an upswing, but that’s no biggie because white people can’t be terrorists.

    https://www.splcenter.org/news/2017/02/15/hate-groups-increase-second-consecutive-year-trump-electrifies-radical-right

    • Jamoche

      Maybe if he had any clue what had caused the drop, he might be more confident. I’ve heard it’s a long list, ranging from economy and education to lead paint. Good thing we have a DoE and EPA… oh wait.

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    This is their agenda. This is what they’ve been wanting to do for the last 8 years. It is all part of a carefully orchestrated plan to cripple our institutions so they can remain in power. We need to resist and prevent these motherfuckers from destroying our country.

    • mrpuma2u

      While this post is inspirational, well written and heart-felt, I am finding lacking in fap factor. Wait, hold on, envisioning me protesting, meet hot lefty protesting woman, and I’ll be in my bunk. Peace out.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Warped Keebler Elf is an asshole.

    Film at 11.

    • Ron Paul is indeed an asshole.

      Oh, THIS elf.

  • OneYieldRegular

    I’m will not be surprised to discover that Sessions last name was originally Secessions.

  • kindness

    I think thanks are in order for everyone who did not vote for Hillary. /s

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Cory Booker/John Lewis: He’s a racist. He’s shown it before; he’ll do it again.

    Judiciary Committee: Oh he’s changed! Totally trustworthy.

    Sessions: Suckers.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Dear President Bannon,

    Please do anything to make me feel better, I am afraid. Blowing up the European Union would be a good start. And then, you have to remove the EPA and its thugs that keep me from sleeping at night. And who needs the State Department when we have nuclear weapons? Thank you.

    –White America

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Speaking of policies that aren’t obviously inspired by racism or xenophobia…

    This makes me feel safer.

    https://twitter.com/guardian/status/836618885415698433

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Oh, for fuck’s sake.

      The silver lining, however, is that Los Angeles probably won’t get the Olympics. I’d have loved to see the events, but I’m glad the City of Angels won’t be stuck with the costs associated with the games FFS.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Would be very, very nice if the IOC cited the racist policies of Il Douche as the reason for choosing Paris.

      • Cock Blockula

        Honestly, would the Olympic committee even consider a U.S. venue with the way people are getting harassed at our airports right now and the government’s contempt for “ferriners”?

      • LucindathePook

        Also, too, it might those not paying strict attention to what is going on realize how truly gawdawful these travel limitation policies are for the US.

    • GoutMachine

      Good. I’ve been scared of Asian girls playing soccer for years. What if they bent it? Like BECKHAM? IN MY FACE?!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Citizens of China, mostly, and undoubtedly Buddhist, but guilty of TWB (traveling while brown.)
      I’m guessing iL Douche doesn’t have a hotel or casino in Tibet.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Actually, four are Nepalese and a couple are Indian? Or something like that.

    • anwisok

      WTF?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    She added she expects that even with the Justice Department backing away on part of the case, she nonetheless expects to prevail in court.

    https://cdn.meme.am/cache/instances/folder645/57580645.jpg

  • canes_pugnaces

    In all unsnarkedom I had no idea (I live in Harlem, in NYC, in NYS) that there was so much festering, metastatic hatred in this country. A KKK racist running the DOJ and a Leninist anarchist as a shadow president kind of sums it all up.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      We live in a bubble in NYC. It’s still 1953 in much of Flyoverstan, including most of Texas.

      • Lizzietish81

        There’s a reason it’s flyovercountry

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Yeah, but Flyoverwithahydrogenfilleddirigible?

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        I don’t think it’s just NYC. I think most cities are blue now, with the rural areas voting red.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      It’s always been there, but controlled by at least the fear of being publicly derided as a racist. Guess those days are over.

    • Vecchioivan

      Their whiteness is all some white people have.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        YES. THIS.

      • Claire

        And look how much use they’ve been able to put it to.

    • QueerPunk

      On behalf of anarchists everywhere, I’d say the word you’re looking for is “nihilist”. Also, Bannon is obsessed with Lenin for all the wrong reasons, but asking a RWNJ to crack open a history book is a fool’s errand.

      • canes_pugnaces

        Anarchist is his term… but yes nihilist is accurate, too.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Proving that the result was discriminatory is enough to get the law tossed. Proving that it was deliberate must have some other penalties attached to it, otherwise why bother? It can’t be just bad publicity, since nobody with a double-digit IQ believes their “voter fraud” bullshit anyhow.

    • puredog

      If they prove discriminatory intent, as I understand it, Texas must run future tinkerings past Justice in advance of just implementing them (a “burden” that will now be a low bar). I know that’s vague, but so is my understanding.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Run the legislation past Sessions? They’d have to dig just to find the bar.
        If he sent it back, it would be with suggestions on how to make it worse.

  • C4TWOMAN

    Okay, now I’m looking forward to McKinnon doing Sessions again on SNL. It’s not like she’s going to have KoC material for a while anyway.

    • dslindc

      KaC is the boxed wine of White House Advisors.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Bristol libel!

        • dslindc

          She’s the Boone’s Farm.

          • mancityRed6

            my first thought: strawberry hill and drain cleaner meth.

          • Why in earth is that your first though?

          • mancityRed6

            ’cause that’s how they roll where I’m from.

          • Drain cleaner is for drains full of hair

  • Michael Smith

    Its been a while since I looked into this area of the law, but I don’t think it matters whether the law (or policy) has discriminatory intent. If it has discriminatory effect (or ‘disparate impact’ as they say), it can still violate Equal Protection.

    But there may be some caveat about how disparate impact might be acceptable if there is no other alternative in pursuing the law’s reasonable objective or something.

    These came up a lot with exams for firefighters and such in NYC in the 1970’s that asked all sorts of questions that were irrelevant to firefighting, but seemed to disproportionately prevent black applicants from getting jobs. Although there was no proof that the exams had discriminatory intent, they did have a clear disparate impact, and there was no compelling reason why those kinds of exams needed to be administered.

    • Shanzgood

      Kind of like “undue burden”?

      • Michael Smith

        Yep, precisely.

        • Shanzgood

          You did a good asplaining.

          • Michael Smith

            Thank you!

          • Shanzgood

            I have a friend who is a geneticist and she’s also good at explaining things to people like me who aren’t in her field. It’s a good skill to have.

    • Vecchioivan

      Ivy schools used to keep out the riffraff by asking questions about yachting terms on entrance exams.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Yes, there is the “business necessity test” – disparate impact is not, in and of itself, illegal in employment cases if the situation in question is “job related for the position in question and consistent with business necessity”. So for example, a requirement that a firefighter be able to lift and carry 100 pounds of weight up three flights of stairs may have a discriminatory effect upon women who apply to be firefighters, but it may still be legal if the fire department can show that carrying 100 pounds of gear is a necessary job function.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Yay! Firefighter tests! Now do fox hunting!

  • wide_stance_hubby

    He looks like he was gestated in a beer can.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    There’s post-racial and then there’s dumb-as-a-post racial.

  • Michael Smith

    The real reason the court started adopting the disparate impact test is that intentional discrimination started to become hard to prove after the 1960’s, when people realized you needed to be subtle about your Jim Crow policies.

    Although, that’s not always the case – since these people are often complete idiots, they do occasionally get caught straight up explaining their discriminatory intent in emails and the like.

    • Sardonicuss

      Like the congressman in Wisconsin? who flat out said (paraphrasing): “These laws will help us beat Obama!”
      Subtle they are….

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Leave it to Jefferson Beauregard to call a spade a spade when it comes to discrimination.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Are you trying to spook people?

    • anwisok

      Quit monkeying around and say what you mean.

    • Kiri the Paid Protestor
    • snark-lurker

      you just spawned some nasty shitbeloe

    • Tallmutha

      This is what happens when you pick a ninny to be Attorney General.

      • Shanzgood

        Alla y’all are going to hell.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Well, do you want us to save you a seat or not?

          • Shanzgood

            Ha! Of course!

  • memzilla Ω

    Who could predict that an Attorney General of the United States, who was named after two traitor generals who fought against the United States, for slavery, would suddenly go all No-Spine McCuddleduck on a law that discriminates against black people?

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Shocked. Shocked, I tell you.

  • C4TWOMAN

    Okay, disqus not letting me upload images.

    >Imagine pic of Kate McKinnon as Jeff Sessions.
    >Go wild with upvotes and lols

    Screw you disqus.

    • Msgr_MΩment
      • C4TWOMAN

        Cheers. Disqus tells me “something went wrong, check the file is an image and under 5mb.”

        The pic I was going to use is a 32kbs jpeg. -_-

        • GoutMachine

          So, Disqus is Drumpf now?

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          It’s borked. Again.

    • Edith Prickly

      I’m having the same problem. Links still work though.

  • BadKitty904

    OT: Just a reminder of the extent/depth of the Republican Party’s fear and hatred of American democracy…

    After Court Setbacks, Lawmakers Push for New Voting Restrictions
    Legislatures across the country are considering bills that would make it tougher to vote, even after similar measures have been struck down in court. Proponents say the bills would restore confidence in America’s elections.
    http://www.pewtrusts.org/en/research-and-analysis/blogs/stateline/2017/02/28/after-court-setbacks-lawmakers-push-for-new-voting-restrictions

    • C4TWOMAN

      ” Proponents say the bills would restore confidence in America’s elections”

      I lost my ability to “even” again…

      • BadKitty904

        The GOP has an uncanny knack for lying and hypocrisy.

    • mardam422

      Yes. Restore confidence that Republicans will continue to win them.

    • Tallmutha

      “We tried and tried to get Candidate Trump to shut the hell up about our elections being ‘rigged.’ Well, we couldn’t. Now we have to restore people’s confidence in them.”

      • BadKitty904

        “With the help of President Putin and the former-KGB, the Republican Party will permanently fix the American electoral process.”

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Related: Meanwhile, in Virginia, a Richmond judge ruled Tuesday that an anti-gerrymandering lawsuit that challenges the constitutionality of several state legislative districts can move forward.
    https://twitter.com/DailyProgress/status/836644791324721153

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Good!

  • wide_stance_hubby

    He also has no idea why his mom drank so much while pregnant.

  • anwisok
    • CogitoErgoBibo

      And if anyone thinks he or she is having a bad day at work, at least you’re not this guy.
      https://twitter.com/AP/status/836632954306760704

      • GoutMachine

        Zut alors!

      • anwisok

        How do you say “Oops” in French?

        • wide_stance_hubby

          ‘Pardon moi fuque-upe’ in the Pink Panther dialect.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        I hope there were enough good guys with guns to offset that.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      I want a babby giraffe.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I love Yoda fox. (#2)

  • Bill D. Burger

    Time for another massive Trump rally to protest this political correctness___ and everybidy’ know rachel-ism is a thang’ of the past, y’all.

    http://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/scalefit_720_noupscale/58b4fed82800002000630f41.jpeg

    • Jamoche

      Did she salvage that cutout from Trump U?

      • Bill D. Burger

        Probably while learning how to organize a massive rally!

        I hate to think of what she does with it ‘after dark’! ~shudder~

        • wide_stance_hubby

          Same here, but she deserves every paper cut.

    • JohnBull

      She looks exhausted from walking from the car. Damn Obama.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      The foil goes on your head, stupid bitch.

    • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

      What is with Trump supporters owning life size cardboard Trumps? I adored Obama but I was never inclined to make him part of my decor.

      • cmd resistor

        They sure do sit down a lot.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          And take up more than 1/2 a park bench.

      • cmd resistor

        I did have a little crocheted Obama that a friend made for me, but he was quite small.

      • LucindathePook

        And the Trump flags!

  • Crystalclear12

    They didn’t even put make up on that pig, did they?

    • chicken thief

      Sadly, they did…

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Everttime I read the name Jeff Sessions I have a hard time believing it’s a real name. It sounds more like an artist named Jeff doing a sort of concert. The Jeff Sessions.

    • Sardonicuss

      “The White Album”: The Jeff Sessions

      • MynameisBlarney

        Napalm Death
        Scum: The Jeff Sessions.

        • Querolous

          The Jefferson Sessions Derplane?

      • chicken thief

        Disclaimer: No marijuana was smoked during the making of this recording.

    • Jamoche

      The full name is even more unreal – you couldn’t come up with a better Southern villain name if you tried. I even drop into a Southern accent when I say it.

      • Master Contrail Program

        An adjutant in Colonel Harland Sanders’ army of cocks.

      • MynameisBlarney

        No shit, lol.

      • Master Contrail Program

        Bubba Earl Clementine, aka, Trump’s next head of NASA.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        I always thought that Sacbu Chambliss won that award, but his first name is Clarence, so I guess not.

        A wonker mentioned in a thread the other month that someone in his/her church was named Miss Mary Derryberry or something like that. I think I laughed for an entire day.

    • Zonath

      Grace Slick is rumored to be heavily involved in the project.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I can’t say the man’s full name without sounding like Foghorn Leghorn.

      • GoutMachine

        IKR? It’s physically impossible.

      • Master Contrail Program

        Mean boy, and he’s about as sharp as a bag of wet cotton.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        “Jeffrey Beauregard Sessions the Third, I say, THE THIRD”

        • Jamoche

          Jefferson. Even worse :)

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Fixed. Yeah, worse. Surprised they didn’t stick in a “Davis” for good measure.

        • snark-lurker

          you just had to go there i WAS hoping i would no see that

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          Reich?

  • MynameisBlarney

    Did he just shart in that pic?

  • Crank Tango

    Good old Jeff Secessions, lookin’ like grampa dipshit from Matlock.

  • Azazael

    Stay away from my weed you freaky little hobbit.

    • GoutMachine

      Hobbitses libelz!!!!1!

      • Jamoche

        I dunno, some of Bilbo’s relatives weren’t all that nice.

        • Sister the Resister

          Maybe if they’d smoked a little weed? A stoned Lobelia might have been a whole different ticket.

          • snark-lurker

            mebbee they were stoned all the time—they did call it pipe “weed”

      • Shanzgood

        Now I need to watch stoned Hobbits.

        • Jamoche

          “Toke-a-lid! Smoke-a-lid! Pop the mescalino!
          Stash the hash! Gonna crash! Make mine methedrino!
          Hop a hill! Pop a pill! For Old Tim Benzedrino!”

          Bored of the Rings, yo.

          • Shanzgood

            You’ve studied this already, I see.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Of all the stupid battles to pick.

      • Gosala

        It’s definitely not to punish blue states. It would be irresponsible to say that.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Mom?

    • Bill D. Burger

      Notice how the little orc now favors federal over states’ rights when it comes to murry-jee-wanna’!

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    I don’t know if there other indivisabl members here, but I know that gerrymandering and voter suppression made people in my group more angry and frustrated then just about anything else. I hope we can translate that into action.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I posted downthread about a judge approving a challenge to Virginia district lines. I’m in the VA 05 which has been described as looking like either a salamander or possibly Godzilla. The Indivisible VA 05 is definitely all over this as a serious issue.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        In California what finally changed things was a voter referendum. I’ve found that even Republicans respond pretty well to the idea that politicians shouldn’t get to pick their voters and get a job guaranteed for life.
        Also, it’s led to the Freedumb Caucus, a boil on the ass of humanity if ever there was one.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Both sides do it. Ever see NYC’s “Jewish District”?
        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_York's_10th_congressional_district#/media/File:New_York_US_Congressional_District_10_(since_2013).tif
        Because the Upper West Side of Manhattan and Brooklyn’s hasidic neighborhoods have so much in common.
        {Dizqus is borked, again, so no pic}

    • Sister the Resister

      When people start blaming the Democrats for the election loss, my mind goes to “hey, that Russian thing….” and THIS exact thing: Gerrymandering and voter suppression are the culprits (particularly the discouraging version: shortened hours, polling places and DMVs hard to reach, bizarre ID requirement, etc.)

      Sure, the Dems need to up our game, get on the stick, etc etc, but the reason we lost is Republicans, and their many ways of screwing with the election. I put the blame squarely in THEIR lap.

      • eka

        yes, BUT we need to stop fighting about why the election was lost and focus on getting candidates. we’re bigger than the tea party and we need to start running for stuff. if we start with local and state, we can be well positioned to have a voice in the redistricting after the 2020 census. we’ll never get the house without that.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Also, too;

    Charles P. Pierce to turmp voters with buyers remorse.
    “Go fuck yourselves”

    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a53491/regretful-trump-voters/

    • GoutMachine
    • wide_stance_hubby

      Hard. Dry. Fast.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Pretty much this. Also, too, anyone that threw Trump voters the assist with their idiotic “I live in a red/blue state so my 3rd party vote for Harambe doesn’t matter anyway” logic.

      • Shanzgood

        I know quite a few who did that. I told some of them to fuck off and they did.

      • theblackdog

        I knew way too many people who declared they were going to do this in Maryland, and others who encouraged it. One of them after the election started posting all the ways Trump was wrong and the election was terrible even though a month before he was encouraging people to vote for 3rd party because Hillary was not good enough. He has yet to ever admit he screwed up by thinking that way.

    • Claire

      Preach, Charles P. Pierce. Fucking preach.

      • cmd resistor

        Needed that today.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Excellent article. This passage struck me especially:

      You fell for a con. Seventy percent of you voted for the very policy that has taken your friend away because you thought the damn coal mines were coming back when everyone has been telling you for years that the coal industry is as dead as Kelsey’s nuts and that Donald Trump, Jesus Christ, and J.H. Blair working together couldn’t bring it back.

      Trump’s claim that he would bring the coal mining jobs back has always been particularly risible. It is as if William Howard Taft had campaigned on a pledge to bring back livery stable jobs in 1912 as Model T production was climbing every year.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Coal mining is not what it was, anyway. The preferred method is clear cutting a Mountain, blasting the top off, then scooping out the coal from above with heavy machinery. It’s an environmental disaster, and doesn’t take much human labor.

        • laineypc

          Well there’s always the clean-up jobs.

          • Naytch

            There ya go with that caring for Mother Earth, tree-huggin’ hippie crap again! /snark

    • Sister the Resister

      Excellent read. Thanks so much for posting the link.

      • MynameisBlarney

        No prob.

    • Aunt PithyPat

      Thanks! I was just thinking of cruising over to Esquire and reading some Chuck Pierce!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Who’s gonna build your wall
      Who’s gonna mow your lawn
      Who’s going to cook your Mexican food
      When the orange dckwart you voted for makes good on his promise to deport the “good Mexican” you all loved who ran the restaurant in your shithole pigfucking town

      • Jukesgrrl

        From the But, But, But file (or in this case RawStory):
        “West Frankfort, Illinois, overwhelmingly voted for President Donald Trump last fall, but now some residents are upset after [ICE] arrested and detained a beloved local Mexican restaurant owner … Juan Carlos Hernandez Pacheco, the owner of the La Fiesta … While residents in the town said that they were still supportive of the president’s moves to deport undocumented immigrants, they told the [New York] Times that the president should make more exceptions for people like Pacheco, who have not only been exemplary local businessmen, but also pillars of the community who take part in local charity events. ‘I think people need to do things the right way, follow the rules and obey the laws, and I firmly believe in that,’ local resident Lori Barron told the paper. ‘But in the case of Carlos, I think he may have done more for the people here than this place has ever given him. I think it’s absolutely terrible that he could be taken away.’” OUR MEXICAN IS DIFFERENT, DAMN IT!!!
        https://www.rawstory.com/2017/02/trump-backing-town-angry-after-ice-detains-beloved-local-mexican-restaurant-owner/

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Republicans need to be rounded up en masse and forced to take a 6 month course in the meaning of “irony”. Because they just don’t. Fucking. Get it.

    • Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild

      Reminds me of ‘Fuck The South’ website during the Bush years.

      http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/fuck-the-south/Content?oid=19816

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Oh, FFS.

    Trump, on Fox: “They came to see me, they explained what they wanted to do ― the generals ― who are very respected, my generals are the most respected that we’ve had in many decades, I believe. And they lost Ryan.”

    • ariel_gee_398

      “The buck stops somewhere way over there.”

    • Jamoche
      • Jukesgrrl

        Personally, I’d like to see him STAY missing.

    • Thiazin Red

      Wow, who could have predicted that someone who insulted prisoners of war and gold star parents would act shitty to the military.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Coup soon?

        • eka

          kind of scary when you find yourself maybe hoping for a military coup.

          • wide_stance_hubby

            IKR?

    • Wookie Monster

      Does he think he got all new generals when he became president?

      • HogeyeGrex

        You don’t think the Magnificent Trump would allow used generals, do you?
        Waiter! Get me some fresh generals. The freshest you’ve got.

        • Jukesgrrl

          Why aren’t their uniforms gold?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      We’ve said it before: the next time Dolt 45 takes responsibility and admits he’s wrong will be the first time.

      • Spurning Beer

        In Willie Nelson’s words, “That’ll be one in a row.”

    • mailman27

      Diagram that fucking sentence! What an embarrassment.

      • chortlingdingo

        Oh my god, please do it. I’d do it myself, but I’m super rusty at diagramming sentences. Despite two English degrees, I haven’t done it since I was in middle school.

        I’d love to see any of Dampnut’s ramblings diagrammed.

        EDIT: Found one!

        https://twitter.com/praxishabitus/status/629625295285293057

        • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

          Ouch.

      • NastyBossetti

        It was difficult enough for some poor soul just to transcribe it. Imagine trying to figure out what punctuation to use for his “sentences!”

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Commander in chief–how does it work?

      • Ducksworthy

        Risk Reward assessment, how does that work?

    • Anna Rompage

      Um, these generals are the same generals that advised Obama, and Bush before that…

      Not to mention, Obama, being our last Commander & Chief, passed on this raid because of the risks….

      • HogeyeGrex

        But when they were Obama’s generals, Trump knew more about ISIS than they did.

      • NastyBossetti

        That thing about “his” generals being the most respected really bugs me. He acts like he hand picked them. (Holy shit I hope it never comes to that because he is so unbearably stupid, and we will be even more fucked than we already are.)

        • laineypc

          he couldn’t hand pick a decent booger out of his own nose.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I’m sure this explanation will do a great deal to answer the questions of the young man’s father.

    • when i heard that quote, my immediate thought was ‘our president is foul. absolutely foul.

      forget honorable, that man doesn’t have a decent instinct in him.

  • Wookie Monster

    Jefferson Davis Beauregard Bedford Forest Sessions III, aka, “Doby” to his friends, just wants to make sure no one votes until their master has given them clothing.

    • Me not sure

      Shouldn’t there be a “Stonewall” in there somewhere?

      • Ducksworthy

        And I think the last name is spelled Secession.

        • Jukesgrrl

          Oh, yes, let’s get on with that!

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          Genius.

      • Wookie Monster

        Sure, why not?

      • La Cieca

        Pickett Burnside…

  • Unnamed_and_MaybeFake

    Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, a name that just says, ‘you boys aren’t from around these parts, are you?’

    • snark-lurker

      i wish peeps would stop poluting my pooter with that hole name typed out like that

    • Vel Venturi

      In Foghorn Leghorn’s best accent.

    • hillarysleftone

      quibble: I do not believe “aren’t” fits in that sentence, at least not when it’s been said to me, and it has, in Alabama.

      (Even though I’m from only marginally further north, and my mama is from Talladega.)

      • HarpyLibtart

        Yup, diction and grammar entirely too precise – them words need more bourbon-assisted slurring, bonus points if you can run more than three words together and still be understood. :P

  • Thorn Spike

    Beverly Leslie without the charm.

  • Anna Rompage

    The other equally or more concerning statement from Sessions within the last day or so is that he wants the DOJ to stop going after police departments that have a long history of civil rights abuses & harassment policies that target racial & other minorities populations.

    http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/ag-sessions-says-trump-administration-pull-back-police-department-civil-n726826

    • chortlingdingo

      Well, don’t you know? If you just ease up on ’em a bit, they’ll treat people right out of the kindness of their hearts. Just like big corporate and pharmaceutical companies.

  • Vel Venturi

    What a loathsome, evil muppet. He looks like Bilbo’s racist uncle.

    • Finnabar87

      Sessions hails from the Sackville Baggins’ region of the Shire.

      • Vel Venturi

        He would absolutely steal spoons.

  • Mavenmaven

    After all, it’s not merely racist, it is meant to prevent ANY potential Democratic voter.

  • cmd resistor
  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    957

    • Paul

      What’s 957?

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        The number of people killed by police in 2016. Not really on topic or informative, just wanted another point of view. A disproportionate number of those 957 were of color.

        • Bitter Scribe

          Yeah, seems like the cops are ahead on points, aren’t they?

          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            Yeah. And I know that being a policeman is a really, really tough job. Just wish they could, I don’t know, not kill so many people? Of course, I blame the NRA and LaPiere.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Well, when your target can’t shoot back…

        • Paul

          Thanks. Seems like it’s always on topic, sadly.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    I am watching Charlie Wilson’s war right now and more and more am I realizing how fucked we are to have Trump in the oval office.

    • Relativicus

      Just the existence of a movie that glamorizes this shameful bit of history drives me batty.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Exactly. But at the same time it shows how delicate international diplomacy is and how a Trump administration can fuck up everyting.

        • is already fucking everything up.

  • thixotropic jerk

    BeauBeau: “Finally! A chance to reverse all those unjust gains made by The War of Northern Aggression!”

  • Manhattan123

    Every time I think I’ve seen the most punchable face in the Trump administration, a new one comes in to contention.

  • Relativicus

    Stonewall is also concerned about violence related to marijuana, which is why he wants to go after states that have legalized its recreational use because stores that are legally allowed to sell marijuana are invading each other or something.

    • Bitter Scribe

      It’s those stoners fighting over the last bag of Doritos.

      • azeyote

        munchie bangers –

      • HazooToo

        Fighting over it? Or just making mean faces at each other while chanting “gimmie” until they forget what they want, and start making ice cream and butter sandwiches with maple-bacon pop-tarts for bread?

  • Shane

    Robert Ewell strikes again.

  • CatCope

    Can we add this d***w**d to that list of “Punchable Faces”? Pleeeezze!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Heyzeus Ahchay

    I guess the fart hasn’t reached the people seated behind him yet.

    • Truly Madly Derply

      I was thinking it looks like he just swallowed an egg salad burp.

  • azeyote

    if Molly Irvins is correct that Texas is the laboratory of bad government then Kansas must be the rat that got loose –

    • Panika MCD

      they were just saying “hey, at least we’re not KS or LA yet!” in Sen. Fi. this morning.

  • Panika MCD

    I’m pretty sure I don’t want Jeff Sessions anywhere near that case. this frees up the brilliant lawyers from the ACLU and MALDEF to be their awesome selves and not defer to an attorney hand picked by Sessions to fuck it all up on purpose. and, should we decide to let the 5th Circuit ruling stand, we’ll still have the “reasonable impediment” excuse. unless they’re going to get rid of it entirely, it’s easier to continue educating voters on what the current law is.

    other things that happened in TX today:

    testimony was heard on a bill to prohibit insurance companies from covering abortions unless a woman seeking an abortion has purchased a separate rider policy for the purpose.

    we had a hearing on tax cuts and Don Huffines actually had a good idea–which leads me to believe that someone let him put his name on a good idea because he is weird and very stupid. but he also did not try to campaign to his colleagues like he did last session which shows some growth I guess.

    the House told the Senate they could stick their school voucher bill where the sun don’t shine.

    there was an anti-SB4 rally which was pretty well attended for a Tuesday.

    the Senate debated who should be crowned to go to a Constitutional Convention and whether or not such persons should go to jail if they do something the rest of the lege doesn’t like.

    two HPD officers were shot while trying to stop a burglary. one is in critical condition with the bullet next to his spinal cord, the other was hit in the foot.

    • HazooToo

      That abortion rider thing. Do they actually think women plan to have abortions before they even get pregnant?

      • Panika MCD

        the ones who listen to TX Alliance for Life do…the ones who listen to TX Right to Life don’t. the fact that I know which one is the more extreme is pretty alarming in and of itself.

        • HazooToo

          Splitters!

          • Panika MCD

            ???

          • HazooToo

            Sorry, it just seems inane and silly to have two separate extreme anti-abortion groups because one of them thinks women are evil and the other thinks women are stupid.

          • Panika MCD

            TX Right to Life doesn’t think women are evil or stupid. they just don’t like abortions.

    • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

      Sadly Texas leg doesn’t give a shit about what women or the majority of all of heir constituency or want think and will “vote their conscience” because it’s all about them and their relationship with an imaginary sky-god. The rest of the planet should do what they are told.

      • Panika MCD

        since I was sitting in the TX House Appropriations Committee when I got this notification and really don’t like reductive reasoning or people who pretend they have ESP, I’m going to go with: that is not accurate at all and shut up.

        • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

          I hope you are correct and that is not true, but from out here t’s pretty depressing to see what comes out of there.

          • Panika MCD

            I’m more depressed by what I see when I’m outside of the Pink Dome these days.

  • Zyxomma

    I miss Molly Ivins. I content myself with Juanita Jean’s.

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