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We don’t know how we missed the news on Friday (yes we do, we were drinking shots with your compatriots at the Bottom Line bar). But did you know Congressman Jason Chaffetz is a tiny hard pellet of a really noxious turd?

So pleased she is not the President. I thanked her for her service and wished her luck. The investigation continues.

A photo posted by Jason Chaffetz (@jasoninthehouse) on

AHEM. AHEM. Bugs Bunny style opera throat warmup mi mi mi MI mi mi mi.

I don’t believe the good people of Utah sent Jason Chaffetz to the House to BE SO FUCKING RUDE and HAVE NO FUCKING MANNERS. YOU DON’T POST A SELFIE WITH SOMEONE AND THEN TELL THEM THEY SUCK AND YOU ARE GOING TO PUT THEM IN JAIL UNLESS YOU ARE TAKING SELFIES WITH IDI AMIN. IS HILLARY CLINTON IDI AMIN? NO. SHE IS A NICE LADY WHO GOT BONED BY A CONFLUENCE OF THE ‘DEEP STATE’ (DIDN’T SEE GLENN GREENWALD BITCHING ABOUT THAT ONE, DIDJA?) AND THE RUSSIAN STATE AND ABOUT A HUNDRED THOUSAND UNCOUNTED VOTES IN DETROIT, NOT TO MENTION THE ONE POINT ONE MILLION VOTERS PURGED FROM THE ROLLS BY KANSAS SUPERVILLAIN KRIS KOBACH AND HIS “CROSSCHECK,” WHICH COUNTED SUCH “DOUBLE VOTERS” AS

Donald Alexander Webster Jr. of Ohio who is accused of voting a second time in Virginia as Donald EUGENE Webster SR.

SO, YOU KNOW, THERE’S THAT.

Jason Chaffetz. Chaff. Baby. YOU VOTED TO CUT EMBASSY SECURITY AND THEN YOUR PALS IN THE HOUSE HELD ONE HUNDRED AND TWO INVESTIGATIONS INTO WHY ALL THOSE PEOPLE (FOUR PEOPLE) GOT MURDERED AT BENGHAZI, AND EVERY TIME YOU WERE LIKE “HMMM, GUESS HILLARY CLINTON DIDN’T MURDER ALL THOSE PEOPLE, MAYBE IT IS TIME TO INVESTIGATE HER FIFTY-FIVE TIMES FOR ‘EMAILS'” EVEN THOUGH COLIN FUCKING POWELL DIDN’T EVEN HAVE A PRIVATE EMAIL SERVER SET UP SECURELY BY PROFESSIONALS, HE HAD A GODDAMN AOL ACCOUNT AND I DON’T SEE YOU PROMISING TO LOCK HIM UP, YOU SNIVELING GREASEBALL PUBEHEADED MONSTER.

In conclusion, you are a spineless, craven little weasel, you’re ugly, your mama raised you poorly, and you aren’t fit to lick the boots of the woman who could do this with class and fuckin’ grace, which you would never understand.

Fuck you is why.

Love,
Wonkette

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  • dslindc

    I don’t believe the good people of Utah sent Jason Chaffetz to the House to BE SO FUCKING RUDE and HAVE NO FUCKING MANNERS.

    You haven’t met some of the voters in Utah’s 3rd District.

    Thankfully, I think the tide may be starting to turn a little. There is already someone considering a primary challenge to him in 2018, but it will be a huge uphill battle.

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      Heck, McMullin ought to challenge him. I oppose McMullin, but he seems far better. Chaffetz is a weasel.

  • dslindc

    Jason Chaffetz is only in politics because he is a fame whore of the highest degree. He will do anything for attention, decorum and manners be damned.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    C’mon, ‘Trix. Tell us what you really think of Punchy McPunchFace from Punchytown.

    • Historicat

      She would but she doesn’t want to violate the commenting rules.

  • memzilla Ω

    *looks for Amazon Prime discount on lightly salted poison rat dicks with two day shipping*

  • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

    Chaffetz IS what they find on the assholes of the organisms that live in the matter that you find on the bottom of boots.

    • puredog

      You’re all meanies. He seems nice.

  • But did you know Congressman Jason Chaffetz every single Republican politician is a tiny hard pellet of a really noxious turd?

    • SeeTrain65

      The dingleberries of politics.

  • laughingnome

    I had a chaffetz once. The dermatologist gave me prescription and it cleared up in a few weeks.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Chaffetz has risen well above his level of competency; that much is certain.

    • SeeTrain65

      The Peter Principle, in glorious Technicolor.

  • I have nothing to add.

  • JackLinks

    Let’s not forget Chaffetz’s remarks about security for our embassy’s around the world roughly a month after the Benghazi attacks!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6BLMz1chEM

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      ‘You have to prioritize my evasions.’

  • Crystalclear12

    As my mother used to say :
    Some people are raised, others are just jerked up.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    He doesn’t even rate a “Bless his heart.” You really have to go a distance to not even be worthy of that.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Republicans are hypocrites? Say it ain’t so! I’m sitting here watching Orrin Hatch bitching about how all the Democrats are opposing Tom Price for absolutely NO REASONS whatsoever, other than the fact that he’s been insider trading, lying on his taxes, undisclosed assets, and not paying taxes for his nanny. I guess Orrin Hatch was in a coma when Republicans refused to even grant Merrick Garland a hearing to be a SC justice. Watching Hatch clutch his pearls is hilarious.

    • schmannity

      Merrick Garland wept.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      no kidding, fuck that clown. Boo hoo, Drumpf’s shitty pick, the guy who lies cheats and steals, is getting a hard time ….

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    A self-hating Jew who became a Mormon, a former Democrat who turned Republican…a real man of principle. There is no value this fucking snake would not betray.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      This kind of bitter-rage-vengeance conservative is a type I’ve seen before. You know that Michael Savage guy? Same kind of thing. Someone who renounces and despises their former self, and is constantly driven by demons to prove to themselves they’re Not That Guy anymore.

      • SeeTrain65

        Dick Morris … David Horowitz … etc.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          David Horowitz was a leftist asshole in the 60s, and is a wingnut asshole now.

          Note the commonality between the two time periods.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        True that….the ideologically converted are often the biggest zealots. In Chaffetz’ case, I’m sure he feels a need to prove his wingnut credentials in hopes that, when Trump’s Brownshirts begin the roundups, he won’t be considered one of “them”.

        • arglebargle

          Too late. He’s on tape saying he couldn’t support Donald after his pussy grabbing comments. No matter how much he kowtows, boot licks, brown noses, and grovels, Donald will never forget.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I think perhaps you misunderestimate his kowtowing, bootlicking, brown-nosing, groveling skills. But, yeah.

        • tomamitai

          I’m sure he’ll be allowed to go to Israel; sending all the Jewishes there is part of the plan to bring back Jesus.

    • TJ Barke

      Something tells me he wouldn’t betray the value of money…

  • BadKitty904

    But isn’t his kind of childish ugliness SOP for Republicans? I’d be more shocked if he HADN’T been such a dick.

  • schmannity

    Chaffetz’s paternal grandfather was Maxwell (Max) Chaffetz (1909–1986), who, despite both parents being Russian, became an FBI Special Agent.

    Duhn Duhn Duhhhhhhn!

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Maxwell (Max) Chaffetz, Agent 69.

      • schmannity

        The not Smart Maxwell.

        • Sandy Beaches

          Maxwell S-M-R-T?

    • tomamitai

      OMG, he’s related to Dukakis and worked on his Presidential campaign!

      • Antonin Dvorak

        Yep, his mother’s maiden name is Dukakis. She is Mike’s sister or first cousin or something.

  • Crystalclear12

    Yeah, because we Americans really want to hear about those emails one. more. time.

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    Nicely put, Rebecca.

  • Oblios_Cap

    I’d write a comment, but I’ve got to run and take a steaming Chaffetz.

  • Bill D. Burger

    “How To Fix: Crepey Skin”

    Perfect ad up there to introduce a thread on Chaffetz. ….though “creepy” would have been better.

  • BadKitty904

    Happily, Hillary is too well-bred to comment on Chaffelch’s “peculiar” personal appearance. And I’m not referring to just the freakish dye job.

    • Ian

      Or the face lift gone wrong. His face is bleck.

    • cmd resistor

      Speaking of dye jobs, has anyone noticed that the new Oval Office curtains match Trump’s hair? Actually, he might want to re-think that because it makes his head kind of blend in with the curtains.

      • PubOption

        Trumps hair seems to be lighter now than it used to be, has he changed his dye to blend in with the curtains?

        • cmd resistor

          Seems like it was orange when the primaries started and then he went blondish. I remember “Trump your cat” memes with orange tabby cats with a Trump hairdo. The curtains are new, so we really need to find which came first, the dye or the curtains. I still maintain that his hairdo was disqualifying on its own from the start.

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    When they go low, we go high.

    Problem is, they’re digging down so deep that we’re going to hit the mesosphere and go into orbit.

    That’s when we’ll shit upon them from a great height.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      “When they go low, we go high.” That was said by a woman with ethics and class.

      I, however, am not burdened by such things. I say “When they go low, we get high. Then we go lower.”

      • Historicat

        I prefer the Chicago way.

        “When they put one of yours in the hospital, you put two of theirs in the morgue.”

    • Ωbjectifier

      From orbit, the only way to be sure.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Thermosphere or GTFO of Earth.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    P.S. LEAVE THAT POOR FUCKING ETHICS DIRECTOR ALONE!!!

    • BadKitty904

      You forgot the obligatory quotes around “Ethics”…

    • US Office of Governmental Ethics Director Walter Schaub is a bad ass and will show Chaffetz the what for and why.

      His most recent post on the official site:

      https://www.oge.gov/web/oge.nsf/Director's%20Notes/BA9EE0185F52C2FB852580A70063149F?opendocument

      • Antonin Dvorak

        Later this month, I’ll post a brief refresher on the impartiality rule.

        I, for one, can’t wait.

      • PubOption

        Also seems to be aiming at Trump for hawking Ivanka’s or Melania’s fashion line on official websites.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Good! I hope he kicks Donnie’s orange ass

  • Ilgattomorte

    Uh Oh! Mama took her all caps out. Better stay out of her way.

  • Come here a minute

    If I was Hillary I would have sent Chelsea to be Bill’s plus-one and gone for a fucking hike!

  • Sparger

    Jason, Comey and the Hillary hating FBI couldn’t find anything, what exactly are you going to do? Why don’t you get started on investigating the Trump team? There will be more than enough evidence for that clown car of fools to go down.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They will not investigate Donald. Investigations are only for Democrats, not for Rethuglican scum.

      • cmd resistor

        Especially if the rumors are true that Comey will stay on…..NYT is reporting he will.

  • WiscoJoe

    I think they word you’re looking for is ratfucker.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    I’m pretty sure a Chaffetz is what you use to wipe up Santorum…

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      Chargers is the desicant used in adult diapers, also too.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Is that why they’re moving to Los Angeles?

        • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

          Twas my auto correct that changed Chaffetz to Chargers. Both suck, but in fundamentally different ways.

    • tomamitai

      No, it’s the rash you get when you don’t use enough lube! Or is it those dishes that keep food warm with the little Sterno candle thingies?

      • SeeTrain65

        Not so hard, sweetie! I’m starting to Chaffetz! Just spray some oil on my Tillerson and let’s get some sleep.

        • shaar dula

          you have a cabinet full of these don’t you?

          • SeeTrain65

            Bottom drawer of the nightstand.

          • Michael R

            ….. located deep in the swamp

    • shaar dula

      fun fact*: its derived from the latin word chafe. and means that which causes one to chafe in german.

      * hey people are making up stories by the bushels, you wont give me this tale?

  • SeeTrain65

    Rebecca:

    Please. We are better than this. Please include his title with his name.

    It’s “Pustulent Dickhole Smegma-Face.”

  • schmannity

    Why not investigate Hillary? Now that the ACA replacement is in place?

  • Michael R
    • Apple Scruff

      Is that a young Lindsey Graham?

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Ron Wyden points out that senate confirmation hearings are the same that they’ve been for the past twenty years, so Price should suck it up, just like Tom Daschle did. Sen. Johnny Isakson (R-Hick) says “it’s outrageous that this family man is being treated like a criminal, or as we in Congress like to say ‘like a common Democrat.'”

    I love that they bring up how Price is a family man and a good churchgoer. Say, you know who else had a family and went to church?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Johnny, son of Issa

      he can fuck off also too

    • Prismo87

      Both of GA senators suck ass.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot
      • Me not sure

        Isakson is a total asshole who comes from a family of assholes. The Isakson owned Northside Realty in Atlanta was engaged heavily in what was called blockbusting or “panic peddling” in the local housing market. They made their fortune on race baiting.

        • Hutch

          You can say that again!

          • Me not sure

            Editile disfunction.

      • Me not sure

        Isakson is a total asshole who comes from a family of assholes. The Isakson owned Northside Realty in Atlanta was engaged heavily in what was called “blockbusting” or “panic peddling” in the local housing market. They made their fortune on race baiting.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I was paraphrasing, but it was pretty close.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          It’s pretty bad that I assumed it was a direct quote. That’s how bad it’s gotten.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Imagine how tough the next four years are going to be on The Onion. What’s left to satirize?

    • Juan de Fuca

      Eric Rudolph?

    • jodyleek

      Cardinal Wolsey?

  • WiscoJoe

    Is it too late to take away John Kerry’s Purple Heart?

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    It never ceases to amaze me-hyperbole on Wonkette notwithstanding-what truly mean, nasty little shits most Republicans really are.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Hyperbole? Paraboblely.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        We should take it as a sine.

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          Now, let’s not go off on tangents.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            ‘cos we shouldn’t.

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            One slide to rule them all.

          • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

            Nah, we gotta play all the angles.

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            I have a theorem about the Brontosaurus.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Wait, are you guys members of Al Gebra or something?

          • snark-lurker

            glad THAt’s over! it only hurts when I laff & couldnut take much more

      • snark-lurker

        you are headache

        and tongue tormentor for us whose lips move wen we reed

        oh fuck see wut you started?

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        That’s your hypotenuse, is it?…

    • Prismo87

      Petty weasels who will leave no money unspent to prove Hillary did a thing, and it was a bad thing.

      Fuck em.

    • shaar dula

      hyperbole? who us? only in that the loci of the positions taken by folks at wonkette is consistently proximal to reality.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Putting any political convictions aside completely and just focusing on fundamental human decency: How did Republicans get to be such super-colossal assholes?

    • Lara

      I am starting to think that maybe the party, as it’s set up now, attracts a disproportionate number of sociopaths.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I am starting to agree with you for about fourteen years now.

        • snark-lurker

          wut took you so long?

        • Villago Delenda Est

          I was agreeing with you back in 1973.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        And, oddly enough, a significant number also appear to be racist.

    • Hutch

      A decades-long confluence of greed and ignorance?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      It’s their nature.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      practice

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I’ve read a number of articles which place a good portion of the blame on the fact that members of Congress don’t stay in DC over the weekends anymore. They go home to fundraise. I know it sounds like a simplistic beginning for a lot of vitriol, but Dems and GOP-types used to hang out together, golf, attend the same parties. There was a more collegial atmosphere personally which lead to more cooporation politically. Once the rift began, it just kept getting bigger. And it didn’t matter if you were a dick to the other side, because you no longer saw them socially or had to even pretend to be polite.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Thank you so much, Newton Leroy Gingrich, asshole de tutti assholes.

    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

      They embraced the Alternative Ten Commandments?

  • mPEEg

    “I voted for Jason Chaffetz. I supported Jason Chaffetz. I’m done supporting and listening to Jason Chaffetz.”

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Yes. I understand many of the people who voted to give Trump complete control of the government and the power to set the direction of the Court feel the same way about him.

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      I read the article and several of the comments. I dunno … Jason may have gone too far. It may also be a growing distaste for this administration and its enablers. And it is only day 4.

  • Juan de Fuca

    I’m really tempted to edit the Wikipedia article on “Opportunism” and embed that Instagram photo in it.

  • TJ Barke

    It’s almost as if Republican politicians are all corrupt garbage scum, and their voters are all stupid easily conned rubes or spiteful greed-heads…

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I wonder what his college nickname was? Chaffshitz? Chafed dick? Fuckface?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      That was inspiring.

      Cum Dumpster
      Cock Pocket
      Old Faceful
      Shit Biscuit

  • snark-lurker

    Anybuddy elses’ ears ringing after reading that?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      WHAT?!? SPEAK UP, I CAN’T HEAR A DURN WORD YER SAYIN’!

      • snark-lurker

        SORRY!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Maybe Chafetz’s?

  • MynameisBlarney

    Incoming Wall O’ Text post, but worth the read IMHO.

    http://www.democraticunderground.com/10028526502

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Jason Chaffetz needs to be slapped upside the head, then slapped upside the head.

    And then slapped upside the head AGAIN.

  • mPEEg

    Trump: the only President who whenever he says “Jump!” his minions (including Chaffetz) say not ‘How high’ but “How low?”

  • lucidamente

    From the looks of that screen grab I’d say Chaffetz just said, “Hey, Hilz, pull my finger!”

  • Daisy

    You know what my mama told me, Jason? That if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything anything at all. You should listen to my mama, Jason. And bless your heart.

    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

      Restrictions do not apply when discussing treasonous Republican shitstains.

    • Erala Contratista

      My mama told me the same. I’m glad she died before any of this stuff began. She was a genuine Republican woman (think Betty Ford) and all this crap would break her heart.

    • aureolaborealis

      Funny that I misread this as “You know what YOUR mama told me, Jason?”, which I figured was leading into some kind of “I banged you mom last night” internet thing. Then the words were actually reasonable and nice, and I had a cognitive dissonance and decided to re-read from the beginning.

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

    Come on guys…is it really necessary to insult humble, inoffensive dick cheese by comparing it to Jason Chaffetz’ face? Aren’t we better than that?

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Nope, no dick cheese. How about some Venezuelan beaver cheese?

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        American cheese. Which isn’t really cheese at all, but “processed cheese food.” I think I’d rather put smegma on my sandwiches.

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          Dude, you do you.

          Nothing personal but, I’ll just barf quietly off to the side.

          • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

            Sorry…got somewhat caught up in my flight of rhetorical hyperbole there…

          • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

            …And it was magnificent, in its own way.

          • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

            Need someone to hold your hair back?

          • Historicat

            Prolly for the next four years.

    • boredcatlady

      Pube hair is spot-on tho

  • Martini Ambassador

    He’s the kind of asshole that probably was a smarmy kiss-up to all of the popular kids in high school and then talked shit about them to his “friends” afterwards. I say “friends,” although I doubt he had any; instead assume Farah poster on his bedroom wall and his GI Joe figurines.

    • boredcatlady

      Or GI Joe poster and Farrah figurines maybe?

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        iswydt

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        I’d rather not be too explicit about what he did with the Farrah figurines – Cousin Itt’s stomach is a little bit sensitive this morning – but they ended up with smegma AND Santorum all over them.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    How is the mormon community OK with this guy? Seriously, he’s a scandal and a hissing.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      He’s one of the Mormon community, fancy underpants and all.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Yeah, but there are other mormons available. Enough of them opposed Trump that I have to think there are some principles they actually care about.

        Besides, he just handed the government over to the evangelicals. That’s a very bad thing for the LDS.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Yes. I grew up with a fair number of Mormons, and many of them were highly decent folks, when hardline conservatism was not as big of a thing with them. Many of them have morphed into serious jackholes since. Mormons do hold many values antithetical to Trump’s…but they are also obsessed with achieving mainstream acceptance and approval, and they’ve kind of hitched their horse to the Christian right, many of whom despise them. It’s a marriage made in Kolob.

          • puredog

            Are those the “jackhole Mormons” I’ve always heard about?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Nah…it’s the regular jack Mormons you can have a beer and hang out with. The jackhole ones, not so much.

          • PubOption

            Spending years knocking on doors only to be told to go away, could turn Mormons into assholes.

  • FauxAntocles

    If he weren’t a fucking traitor to his country, he’d be impeaching Cheeto Bandito by now.

    • Rick Hill

      Which republican would that be?
      Aot,FA.

      No longer vote for the man not the party, thanks a lot republicans.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Following the Donald Trump Access Hollywood controversy, on October 7, 2016, Rep. Chaffetz was the first GOP Congressperson to rescind his endorsement of GOP Presidential Candidate Donald Trump. “I can’t endorse somebody who acts and thinks like this.” The Washington Post quoted Chaffetz as saying that he couldn’t look his 15-year-old daughter in the eye and talk about what the GOP presidential nominee said, “It is some of the most abhorrent and offensive comments that you can possibly imagine.”However, fewer than three weeks later, on October 26, 2016, he posted on Twitter that he was voting for Trump, while claiming that vote was not an endorsement. “I will not defend or endorse Donald Trump, but I am voting for him.”

      A man of rock-ribbed integrity…a true exemplar of GOP “principles.” I’m sure his daughter is proud of her daddy.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I’m sure his daughter couldn’t pick him out of a lineup.

      • MeerkatsRMammals

        Way to use your kid for political gain

  • Lefty Frizzell

    I agree with this post.

  • Rick Hill

    You’re repressing, Rebecca. Please, feel free to tell us what you really think.

  • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn
    • TJ Barke

      Whatever happened to Actor212?

      • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

        Dunno. Is that who I have to thank for the AK Kitty?

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          Yes. The snark is strong with him.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Just look up his Disqus profile. He should be in his bunk or on his bike.

      • Historicat

        I see him on the Twitters occasionally.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      my sentiments exactly

    • puredog

      Thank you for the nice news — I needed some kittenz.

  • Mavenmaven

    Perfect Trump henchman. Hopefully these criminals will all fall together, like Blondi.

    • Blackest Noobs

      Rubio fits that bill too. and bonus Marco has no spine either.

  • Blackest Noobs

    how in the fuck does someone with such a greasy face get elected?

    • shaar dula

      greasy character, how does one with such a greasy character get elected?

      well, one answer is, the same was a trump gets elected.

    • ViveLaRésistance

      by greasy voters.

  • Shoto

    What Ms. Editrix said.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Trix, this got the tears going again. She should be, IS, the President and we shouldn’t need a fucking Constitutional amendment, or impeachment, or revolution to make it happen. #rage

    • Rick Hill

      Impeachment just rearranges the chairs on the decks and ensures the women and children are left onboard while the 1% get all the lifeboats

      • chicken thief

        All that will remain of the social safety net is anchors, while the life boats will get grander and more ostentatious.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Here’s the plan: Impeach Drumpf just as the 2018 campaigns kick off; Pence is President. Take back the House in 2018, then get Pence on campaign finance irregularities (he has a history). BOOM. Pelosi is President.

        So crazy, it just might work.

  • Rick Hill

    Can we also get a fck you out to all those republicans who are not only on the same page as this waste of flesh but have promulgated the environment that is allowing the last vestiges of regulation and protections we have to be washed away for a quick buck and power over others?

  • parachihuahua

    Yes, we here in UT know he is a tiny hard pellet of a really noxious turd. If I was in that district, I would vote against him, but alas, I just watch the asswipe embarrass us along with himself.

    • Apple Scruff

      Is there any way you can volunteer to help out his opponent (shit, I’d even work to get him primaried out)? I’m looking into ways I can help and I live on the east coast. That is how passionate I am about seeing him removed from Congress.

      • parachihuahua

        Actually, if he keeps up, he won’t win the primary in 4 years. His constituents aren’t happy about him, because he represents a group that isn’t for Trump.

        • Alternative Pony Ron

          He isn’t for the shitgibbon. He is, however, 100% behind everything the shitgibbon does.

        • Pierre_de_Fermat

          Was he one of the #NeverTrump folks? A lot (but by no means all) of them caved in the end.

          • parachihuahua

            Yep, he is one of those root for the winning side, even if it changes in the middle of the game. He is one of those kids who is a zealot for whomever he thinks will get him some semblance of popularity, or attention.

        • Apple Scruff

          But isn’t he up in 2 years?

          • parachihuahua

            If only… nope, he’s there for another 4…

          • bobbert

            Um, he is a rep, isn’t he?

          • parachihuahua

            Yes, but I wonder if he will run in 2 to replace Orrin Hatch in the senate.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Is that one of the Fearless Fosdick bad guys?…

      • Doug Langley

        Dick Tracy bad guy. They call him Flattop. Fearless Fosdick was a Tracey parody in Lil Abner.

      • MynameisBlarney

        No idea, lol.
        It’s one of Dick Tracy’s enemies. Flat-top Jones, or something.

  • Apple Scruff

    I saw this on Friday and it set my hair on fire. I’ve since decided to do everything within my power to make sure he loses his seat.

    • cmd resistor

      I agree, one of the most obnoxious things. And this jerk wants to “investigate” the Ethics office.

      • Apple Scruff

        YES! Did you hear about that though? The ethics office tried to set up a meeting and he didn’t return their calls/ emails. What a fucking coward.

  • Garbageman

    Yes, it’s amazing to think Chaffetz is one of those supposedly high-principled Mormon Republicans from Utah . . .

  • The Librarian

    smeg·ma
    ˈsmeɡmə/
    noun
    a sebaceous secretion in the folds of the skin, especially under a man’s foreskin. Example:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7ba32b920a904e329387d93c53e01e1fae564be4d8601b4685cf29c9ebaa08a1.jpg

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Keep him away from Santorum. That would be a truly disgusting combination.

      • Duke

        I think it’s already “in there.”

    • Rick Hill

      It’s always these fat faced, thin lipped asshats doing this shit.

  • Lucas Foxx

    Thanks. I needed that.

  • rocktonsam

    wonket babby needs to waggle her finger at him also too.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Wonket babby needs to give him the side-eye.

  • canes_pugnaces

    There are few words to describe the craven depravity of the GOP… wait: there are two.

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

    In my dreams, she not only refuses to shake the fucking scumbag’s hand, but hawks an enormous loogie in his face. Then the crowd cheers, and the asshole police drag him away for being a walking insult to hemorrhoidal sphincters.

  • ViveLaRésistance

    For me, this was the last nail in the coffin of the faintest desire to reach out to Trump voters. Resistance, Not Appeasement is my only concern now. Rise up.

    • canes_pugnaces

      I couldn’t agree more, although I have yet to possess a single desire to accommodate a soul who voted for this. At all. The question is: how? where?

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        I haven’t listened to this yet but a friend of mine said it was really informative
        http://front.moveon.org/ready-to-resist-emergency-call/#.WId7HVMrKUk

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Answer: every day. Every way. Went to a dickhead teaparty town meeting yesterday. Turns out there were 15 anti-teaparty dickhead finger wavers there unbeknownst to me, and two dickhead teaparty supporters, one of whom was on a campaign to get analog electrical meters back for the sake of our health, and the other had lived in fifteen states and wouldn’t move back, except that Michigan should be more like Florida, which is “where everybody is moving to because they have no state taxes”…. I got to shake my finger a lot! I’m going to make this a diet staple!….

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      For my part, there’s so many nails in the coffin I’ve had to start a third row.

  • Duke

    I’d say “sanctimonious asshole” which is too short, un-clever and shows yet another reason I’ll never be an Editrix.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Oh and Chipmunkfacettz, go fuck yourself and the horse you rode in on too. Right here, buddy

  • Randy Riddle

    But, please, Wonkette, tell us how you really feel. We’re accepting, supportive and nonjudgmental. Don’t hold back.

    • anwisok

      “Nonjudgmental,” my ASS!

  • anwisok
    • Tacoclamgenda

      Onion ninjas. The whole world seems so fragile. Still, these are most welcome.

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      Baby duck may need a safe, secure, caring environment where he can learn and thrive.

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      Where did you find the newborn baby Gamera pic?

      • anwisok

        Errrr . . . uhhhhhhhhh . . . “proprietary search algorithms.” Yeah. That’s it!

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Who are Chaffshitzes’ biggest donors?…

  • BREAKING OT NEWS!

    Kellyanne Conway has been granted Secret Service protection because of all you lamestream media losers who are sooo jealous of her getting to get cozy and winky-winky with President Trump.

    http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/315795-kellyanne-conway-ive-gotten-mail-with-white-substances-in-it

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2e0866b51304cfdc4dd73d4d66f419fd2b916ed5b7fe4dc21d50a4d259d5caf7.jpg

    Kellyanne Conway seems delighted by the news

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      Continuing to try & make the press look as illegitimate as her boss

    • chicken thief

      Maybe the Sekrit Service is to keep her from punching cucks at after Inaugeral Balls?

      • miss_grundy

        It seems she punched a guy at the inaugural ball cause he said something to her. What a shame he didn’t lay her out…..with votes.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      You make a deal with the devil Kellyanne, sooner or later the bill comes due. I would have thought, however, that while you were bargaining you might have asked ol’ Scratch to throw in a little bit of fashion sense:

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5d66d03779f682e87fd3b5ce66b0f3df4f01168479d230dedf574b831b9cccd8.png

      • SATAN: One more condition, Ms. Conway. For Trump’s inauguration you must wear THIS!!! BWHA HA HA HA!

        CONWAY: That’s so cute!

        SATAN: Are you people for real?

        • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

          Satan is finding there are simply no depths to which they will not sink.

          • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

            Satan looks on in admiration.

          • just_jim

            Satan looks on in admiration. horror.

            FIFY

          • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

            How do you do the strike through thingy?

          • just_jim

            (replace ‘ess’ with ‘s’

          • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

            Thank you.

      • miss_grundy

        Someone on Friday snarked that she was attending the inauguration at noon and fighting the British at Yorktown at 3:00 p.m.

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      JFC; never read the comments!

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      Kellyanne, sweetie? That ‘white substance’ is called ‘paper.’

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      BTW, extra upvote for Stupid Deaths ref!

    • Jukesgrrl

      Conway is using Valerie Jerrett’s office if you haven’t heard enough things to make you sick today.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
    • MeerkatsRMammals

      He was sad cuz all the signs told him to keep his tiny hands to himself :(

    • C4TWOMAN

      I knew it. I just wondered if it would be obvious to anyone.
      hee, hee, hee…HAW HAW HAW!!!!

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Didn’t this dipshit get the memo? Hillary is so in the rear-view mirror. We’re investigating the 3 million illegal voters now. Aren’t we?

    • Jukesgrrl

      As soon as they find them.

  • puredog

    Breathe deeply, step away from the Shift Lock key….

  • MeerkatsRMammals

    I love how he’s so concerned about continuing an investigation that time & time & time again proved no wrong doing on her part. Psst…look over to your right! See the orange faced dildo sitting next to you? How ’bout you investigate the legitimate ties between him & Russia interfering with our election? Or his other 5 bajillion conflicts of interest? Fuck this guy.

    • They’re so fiscally responsible, they are willing to use all the money they get from slashing funding to the arts to fund another investigation!

    • phoenix00

      IOKIYAR, remember?

  • goonemeritus

    This is why I never take selfies with political hacks.

    • CatCafe de la Resistance

      She’s so fucking gracious, so fucking tough, and she has to take this endless, endless shit all the fucking time. I hope on some level she can understand it as a graceless, grotesque kind of compliment to her power.

      • goonemeritus

        I miss her.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Chafingitz (R-masturbation/dick joke) has one job in the new Reublicongress (TM). The Russian Puppet may have colluded with the Russians?…..SQUIRREL!….The Russian Puppet may have sexually assaulted underage girls?….SQUIRREL!….The Russian Puppet is certainly in violation of the emolument clause of the Constitution?….SQUIRREL?….The Russian Puppet is being scrutinized by the independent ethics committee?…SQUIRREL!…(Okay. His apparent job with the last one is to do away with the independent part of the ethics committee.)….SQUIRREL….SQUIRREL….SQUIRREL…

    • CatCafe de la Resistance

      No squirrel! No squirrel! You’re the squirrel!

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        There the liberals go again, being divisive and racially profiling squirrels!

        • CatCafe de la Resistance

          #allrodentsmatter!

        • phoenix00

          Yeah we don’t wanna be messing with squirrels, they got big nuts!
          https://i.ytimg.com/vi/6-Ru28dLVFk/hqdefault.jpg

          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            That’s exactly what our Democrats in Congress need to grow.

  • chicken thief

    All the to do over Hillz private emails, yet several Trump appointees are still using their private accounts.

    Nothing to see here… move along….

    • Popillius

      And trying to drum up incidents of her peddling influence – hahahahaha – that will be tRump’s main job – making money off the office.

      This guy’s got issues with women – his interrogation of Cecile Richards was embarrassing for him – he nearly flipped when he found out how much she makes….

      • CatCafe de la Resistance

        Well, come on, she has a vagina! Everyone knows Vagino-Americans aren’t supposed to make more money than he does!

    • CatCafe de la Resistance

      The Orange Mango himself is using a number of completely unsecured private cell phones, too. IOKIYAR I guess.

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    Ouch. Someone woke up in a shitty mood.

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      All of us, Katie.

  • chicken thief

    IS THAT MAH MAIN MAN LOUIE GOHMERT IN THE PIC ON THE LOWER RIGHT?! LOUIE! YO, LOUIE!!! Nice London Fog spy coat, dude!

    If he’d turn a little so we could see his really Preznial looking tie we’d know fer sure.

    • Martini Ambassador

      It’s weird he’s been so quiet lately. You’d think he’d be all over ingratiating himself into this redonkulous farce of an administration.

    • PubOption

      It certainly looks like him, standing next to the guy who is all hat and and no cattle.

    • weejee

      And here’s he’s grabbed Bubba’s right hand to set-up a left cross with his ever so small fist. That’s kinda like the Prez’s wee mitts it seems.
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0f7967c032c4fc6e88413c5263aec9d738387c99662b9fbe84a63cb0e6bafc3f.jpg

      • chicken thief

        He’s ready to parry any move Hillz makes to fondle his asparagus.

      • Jukesgrrl

        “I can’t believe he’s touching Louie Gohmert,” thought the black man with white hair behind Louie.

  • anon_the_great

    Fuck you Chavetz. See you’re now toeing the line for Pussy Grabber whom you said you couldn’t vote for b/c your daughters. I see when is comes to family or your career among the Paste Eaters family looses. GTK

    • I hope that the daughters of Cruz and Chaffetz disown their dads when they get older. At the end of the day, they didn’t really give a shit did they?

    • Nasty Candy Apple

      My only hope is that the Pussy Grabber leaves them so far out, flapping in the wind, that they can never recover when his regime fails, and Chaffetz will have to live out the rest of his life in obscurity.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        I hope that Obscurity, Utah, is some ghost town in the middle of the fucking desert with no water and no Internet. Even that’s too good for him but it’ll work until he arrives in Hell.

  • MOG253

    WTF Utah??? With all the nice sister wives, he is the you can do?

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      Inbreeding does horrible things to the gene pool.

  • chicken thief

    “So pleased she is not the President.”

    Jason, you’re a fucking rep from Utah. She got more votes for POTUS than anyone ever not named Barack Hussein Obama. Get the hell over yourself.

    • Thaumaturgist

      Any other year, I’d say I’m pleased Jason Chaffetz isn’t the president. Now I’m all . . . unmoored.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Utah Congressmen is for haterz.

  • Spurning Beer

    Dear Rep. Chaffetz,

    You are a credit to the state of Utah, the Mormon faith, and the Caucasian and Semitic peoples. You are a shining example to America’s young people.

    By that, I mean that your face and your behavior are powerful emetic agents. You have no friends, and if you did, they would not like you, either. Nobody has ever loved you, including your mother. Your 15-year old daughter hates you inside and out. Even the all-forgiving and merciful God you pretend to serve thinks you’re a total asshole and plans to smite your ugly ass.

    With warmest regards,
    America

    • Ricky Gay

      PS: You know that planet you are gonna get in the afterlife? It will be made out of a giant ball of human shit. You will be known as Master Dung Beetle by your subjects. Amen.

  • Anna Rompage

    Jason Chafeddick, what a flaming asshole!

  • fawkedifiknow

    Yeah, but some ordinary citizen yelled rudely at a Trump supporter that one time, so this is a (false) equivalency.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Not to mention what some damn librul did to the poor, helpless sheriff of Milwaukee County. Gave him the side-eye on an airplane! Can you imagine!!

      (And of course was met on deplaning by a phalanx of law enforcement who held him up for an interrogation. But he wasn’t arrested since side-eye isn’t a crime … yet. “Thank heavens,” said Donna Rose and her mommy.)

  • Nasty Candy Apple

    This creep represents the state I happen live in. (I’m not going to call myself a resident, as I may have been born here, but dammit, this state is full of ME-FIRST assholes and I can’t stand them. No, really, I was just in New Mexico and couldn’t get over how nice the people were there; in Utah, they suck.) In conclusion, Chaffitz is a jerk and I wish I could vote him out singlehandedly.

    • Jukesgrrl

      LOVE your avatar!

  • calliecallie

    I think “fuck you is why” could be the new wonkette motto.

    • Sandy Beaches

      Here’s mine: “Fuckin’- What the fuckin’. Fuck. Who the fuck fucked this fucking… How did you two fucking fucks…Fuck!” Apologies for the movie quote, but it just seems so appropriate in today’s political climate.

      • chortlingdingo

        Forgiven, because that’s one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movies.

  • calliecallie

    You know who else had bad manners and poor social skills?

    • JustDon’tSayPeriod.Period!

      Genghis Khan?

    • CatCafe de la Resistance

      Snow White’s stepmother?

    • miss_grundy

      Hitler?

    • phoenix00

      4 year olds.

  • Alternative Pony Ron

    ‘The investigation continues.’
    I hope you mean, into how the Russians swung the election for the Mangochurian Candidate, you piece of work. Fuck, ANOTHER sore winner with a R after his name.

    • chortlingdingo

      Right? I don’t know that I’ve ever seen people handle winning with such little grace.

      • Ducksworthy

        They will not have won until there is no more resistance, no more dissent. Remember the distinction between authoritarians and totalitarians? Jason is a totalitarian.

    • Jack Tenhet

      They’re graceless in victory because, deep down, they know it’s not legitimate victory. No matter what anyone believes about the extent of Russian meddling or the myriad other factor that combined to create the situation we’re all in right now, they cannot in their heart of hearts believe they have won the American people. That’s why they’re pushing their agendas so hard and so fast before the dam breaks and it’s all over. They’re graceless winners because, frankly, they didn’t actually win and people like us are constantly reminding them of that nagging reality. No “alternative fact” can alter that.

      Conservatives in their modern iteration only operate from a position of defensiveness. They really don’t know how to react to actually being in power because it’s outside of their wheelhouse. Being in power means you only have yourself to blame when it all blows up. This time, there is no Obama, no Clinton to blame for their screw-ups and they’re terrified because there are no more windmills to tilt. So they take the lead of the new POTUS and make the media their next windmill. A media they actually do need to get their own messages out. A media they have no moral compunction about going to on Sunday morning to promote their agendas. It’s hard to paint as an enemy an entire body that you need for your political survival. Hard but not impossible.

      They “won” but the world didn’t change. Nazis are still hated by most of us. Racism is still not “okay”. Nobody is getting “over it”. There is some hope here, even if by just a small ray. The Women’s March proves this. There was even a march in Biloxi that got little reporting outside of my local media. I didn’t expect that at all. I mean, Biloxi, Mississippi. So in closing, fuck this guy.

      • Jukesgrrl

        Great post. Thanks for taking the time.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Hellhathnofury Demme

    Let’s fit his seat with “surveyor’s marks!”
    I’m sure an opponent would get lots of donations.
    Since we’re talking about Utah, it will be an R.
    Any reasonable (I know, I know) Rs out there?
    (Vengeance works both ways, cupcake.)

    • Cliff Hendroval

      Actually, that Evan McMillin guy didn’t seem totally awful.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Maybe one of Huntsman’s daughters who’s human and not insane. Or have they all fled Utah?

    • Sophie McMillan

      Isnt Evan McMullen an R from Utah?

  • Bill Slider

    Obviously, Hillary should have had an AOL account. Next time, Hillary…

    • JustDon’tSayPeriod.Period!

      CompuServe libullzzzzz!!!!!

    • phoenix00

      Hey, could’ve been Yahoo….

  • Bitter Scribe

    I keep waiting for the shoe to drop with this guy. What do you all think…payoffs, hookers or both?

    • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

      Closet racist combined with desperate need to climb the social ladder.

      • JustDon’tSayPeriod.Period!

        “Closet”?

        • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

          Oh, right, Trump’s America so he’s out now.

    • JustDon’tSayPeriod.Period!

      How about just drinking a beer?

      • Jukesgrrl

        Or Coca Cola!

    • Sandy Beaches

      Live boy? Dead girl?

      • Jay B.

        A live girl in his dead boy.

  • Tony Emond

    “Dickhole smegma-face” is such a perfect descriptor I’m going to be reminded of it everytime I see Chaffetz’s ugly mendacious face.

    • Johnnymoreno

      We need to hold MULTIPLE hearings, with MULTIPLE DNA tests, to ascertain just WHOSE smegma is that, all over Chaffetz’s face!

      • Jukesgrrl

        How about just a test to see if he’s human.

        • Keith Taylor

          I have always thought that infiltration by disguised alien reptoids was a lunatic conspiracy theory believed by people who read too much pulp science fiction (not even the GOOD pulp science fiction, which I love and which brings back my youth) but now I’m less dogmatic about that.

  • Sister Artemis

    Jesus what a putz.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    Also, Powell used the lines at hotels when he was told not to. Is anything less secure than that?

    • Stulexington

      Internet cafe. I can’t believe people are actually shocked at Snowden revealing that US intelligence was setting up fake internet cafes. The shocking part is that they work because diplomats are sending unencrypted files at a fucking internet cafe in the 21st goddamn century!

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistant

      Trump’s VPN at kremlin.ru?

  • Scrofula

    Ok, Jason! You got what you wanted. You get a couple weeks to snivel like a hamster that got in the kitchen trash, take a nap, and then . . . what? Can you put up motherfucker? Hopefully you’ll realize that’s ALL you got.

  • JustDon’tSayPeriod.Period!
  • BreakingDeadMen

    You really can’t compound too many vulgar words in the to describe the awfulness of this alleged human.

  • Zyxomma

    I skipped the whole inauguration (want to keep my nice low blood pressure intact), so I hadn’t seen the Hill and Bill video. Chaffetz must be destroyed WITH VOTES, but I don’t think Utahns are up for that.

    • Jukesgrrl

      I normally wouldn’t expect much from Utah either, but women made a nice showing in Salt Lake City yesterday (Monday). 6,000 of them marched to the state capital building for the first day of the part-time legislature’s 2017 session. Took over the building and, according to the Salt Lake Tribune, “They chanted ‘We won’t go away, welcome to your first day’ and carried signs advocating for gender equality, sexual-assault prevention, environmental conservation and legal protections for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals.” I’d say that’s a start. Here’s hoping they join in for the next national march on Saturday, April 15. Yes, the Show Us Your Taxes March is definitely on!
      http://www.sltrib.com/home/4853488-155/womens-march-on-utah-capitol-will

  • cats530

    He looks just like what I imagined a, “my dick is the center of the universe and everyone else must worship it” puke-stick would look like.

  • BG (unintelligible yelling)

    Fuck him. Arrogant, smug, immature, mean little shit. He couldn’t show a little grace and a little class to the woman who got fucked over by the FBI and won the popular vote by a massive amount? He had to rub in it? FUCK HIM, AND FUCK YOU, UTAH.

    • phoenix00

      And left it on Facebook, didn’t have the balls to say it to her face

  • Oh yeah, exactly what she said!

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    What a meanspirited little shit that Chaffetz is. I mean, we knew that before, but holy shit, he really is.

  • HazooToo

    Sent this to Chaffthead on Twitter. Maybe he’ll block me, too!

  • CATMAN

    I have left better things in the toilet bowl after a hard night of drinking than Mr Chaffetz

  • themidniteskulker

    You’ll never see Don Pepe and Jason Chaffetz in the same room at the same time. He probably has a bright future in Koch America. Has what it takes.

  • Tim

    I love you, Rebecca.

  • SayItWithOtters

    Say it to her face, fuckstick.

    • phoenix00

      gutless fuckstick

  • Begin Anew Day

    What It IS!

    THIS is why Wonkette has become my only source of news. The only way to tell these dicks off is with some passion!

    Fuck ’em.

    • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

      Yeah I’m getting pretty tired of NPR’s casual reporting of the UTTER FUCKING UP OF EVERYTHING WE’VE ACHIEVED IN THE PAST 8 YEARS. They’re all, “Yeah, so, that happened. Now, here’s a story about goat pageants in New Jersey.”

      • mfp

        “…THE UTTER FUCKING UP OF EVERYTHING WE’VE ACHIEVED IN THE PAST 108 YEARS”….there, FIFY, if ya dont mind

      • Begin Anew Day

        Despite her name Terry Gross has never said so much as a teensy little vulgarity on air.

        We don’t have that problem at Wonkette do we?

  • Keith Taylor

    And so, so inexplicably, the names on the Crosscheck lists are predominantly names of common coloured, Latino, etcetera, character, therefore likely Dem voters …

  • miss_grundy

    Geez, my heart breaks for her. Friday should have been HER DAY. She wouldn’t have given a dystopic speech in which she would she would have screwed over the predecessors of the office and she wouldn’t have signed executive orders to gut health care. This is why I didn’t watch television on Friday. She showed so much grace in that moment.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qsb-hUUVDtU

  • satanscheerleadersloveamerica

    For at least a year he has been my most despised congresscritter. The lies, disingenuous statements, bullshit investigations and yes the utterly annoying face and gestures. In my book he wins over ted cruz for most punchable face.Nice touch that he unendorsed the pussygrabber citing his 15 yr old daughter then re-endorsed fuck face. Standards, convictions. they are important. Fuck him with the mighty rusty chainsaw of nasty votes.

    • harryeagar

      It’s really hard to be more despicable than Rep. Scott Des Jarlais

  • Rotisserie Teal

    Fuck him up Becca!

  • For a minute, I wished I lived in Utah, just so that I could punch Jason Chaffetz with real votes. Then I remembered that’s probably not a good enough reason to live in Utah (especially since I’d probably be outvoted every time). So back to wanting to punch him with metaphorical votes.

  • You’re too kind.

  • phoenix00

    The Mommyblog in Maximum Mommy Mode!

  • Jado

    I wonder if this is what it felt like in 1859…

  • doggiedaddy

    She should have nut punched him or at least popped him in his throat.
    https://media.giphy.com/media/13HXKG2HGN8aPK/giphy.gif

  • chadingo

    How come smegma face is the only player on the BYU football roster for his time on the team without his height listed?

  • bbayliss

    Has he looked his daughter in the eye yet?

  • John McLaughlin

    We get the leaders we deserve but having Rep. Jason Chaffetz as chairman of the United States House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform seems like a unique punishment. The guy is an unproductive jerk of the highest order. AH.

    • Jenna

      He needs oversight from us.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    I second this motion.

  • DeeDeeKing

    I wouldn’t fuck Jason Chaffetz in his eyehole after 20- tequila shots… and baby I’d fuck most things sober.

  • Shelli Kae

    This article wins Internet for fucking ever so I’m signing up adfree on the first when I get my retirement check. Maybe even a little something something more because THE MFing editrix has just proven these punks don’t worry her.
    So fuck these little fuckin fuck faces!

  • Ducksworthy

    Dick hole smegma face is really too kind a description for this pustulent ooze. We’re really going to have to be more honest in our language.

  • roberteye

    The Rethugs starting basically with Newt Gingrich have systematically purged any “moderate” or “non sociopath” Republicans from their cockus. I mean caucus. So Chaffetz, one of the tea party lackeys, is evidently obliged to spew his dread as often as possible, lest he be considered a “non person” or whatever they do in some 1984 hellscape.

    • Browncoat Krieger IRL

      I had more respect for the Tea Party when they went by their original name: The Taliban.

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    My friend once told me he had a chaffetz. As I recall, I believe he said it was somewhat like painful rectal itch. No personal experience with the disorder myself, but it sounds nasty.

  • Browncoat Krieger IRL

    Shared this on my Facetubes. I’m seriously hoping that all my good Christian friends from my past life as a conservative Christian read the headline and faint.

  • lovelydestruction
  • mary5920

    That was a nice encapsulation of the stolen election. Thanks! She is indeed a thoughtful, classy person. And, boy, what an putz is this Chaffetz.

  • Robyn Ryan

    Don’t forget to great Sanders gaslight. He stole Clinton’s work and claimed it for his own.

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