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MELON TRUMP!
MELON TRUMP!

Oh hey, do you remember this Ask Wonket series we do occasionally, when somebody does a Google search and it lands them at our august website, and we feel the need to answer the questioner’s question? We swear to God we’ve done it at least once, which means it’s definitely a “series.”

The way this works is, if you are in the backstage part of Wonkette, you can see every Google or Bing! or Ask Jeeves search that lands readers on the site, and we can also see your prayers, ALLEGEDLY. Usually it’s just dumb stuff, but occasionally something catches our eye, like this:

can melon trump sue for rose words about son

MELON TRUMP!

OK, so if you didn’t hear, Donald Trump’s ex-arch-nemesis Rosie O’Donnell re-tweeted a thing, and followed up on her website, about how maybe little Barron Trump is autistic. Is he? We dunno! It wouldn’t be a bad thing if he was. This made MELON TRUMP! very mad and she called Rosie a bully, and according to TMZ, her lawyer fired off a letter telling the YouTuber who made the video suggesting Barron is autistic to take the damn thing down. It seems, though, that Rosie had good intentions, because her own young daughter, Dakota, is autistic, and Rosie seemed to be saying the Trumps could really raise awareness about the condition, IF their son is autistic. Again, we dunno! Rosie has since apologized for causing such a ruckus.

So, can MELON TRUMP! indeed sue “Rose”? We dunno, we are not a lawyer and we are too lazy to look around for one right now.

What we do want to say is, first of all, MELON TRUMP!

We also would like to reiterate and remind the giant majority of Americans who did not vote for Donald Trump that, repugnant and evil and creepy as Trump is, his young son is OFF FUCKING LIMITS. It’s bad when people go after Malia and Sasha Obama, it was bad when people went after Barbara and Jenna Bush, and it was bad when people went after Chelsea Clinton. All those women entered the White House as children, and it doesn’t matter what side you are on, the kids are, again, OFF FUCKING LIMITS.

We think MELON TRUMP! would agree.

Now, as to the other Trump offspring, who are adults, the rules are as follows:

  1. Gah, don’t go after Tiffany Trump, because for real, Tiffany Poor Tiffany Jesus Poor Tiffany. She did not ask for any of this, and she seems to be utterly ignored by her dad at all times, so pffffft, lay off her, you dickheads.
  2. The other goons, Ivanka and the two Twilight extras, are completely fair game. They are gross and they are adults and they are all up in their dad’s transition team, sitting in on meetings where their ratchet asses SHOULD NOT BE. They also (we assume) are taking over the family business, and thus are poised to help Daddy become the kleptocrat he always dreamed of being. So yeah, you can give them all the shit you want. It’s the American thing to do.

Now, we don’t know if MELON TRUMP! would agree with those guidelines, but if she ever weighs in on the issue, we’ll be the first to let you know what MELON TRUMP! thinks about it.

Warm regards,

MELON TRUMP!

Wonkette

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  • Besides, the three actual Heirs of Slytherin are much more fun to go after since they seem to believe they are so much better than everyone else, seem to think that “I’m [name[ TRUMP, dammit!” is an excuse to be horrible humans, and can’t seem to go 5 minutes without letting the mask of civility drop.

  • OneYieldRegular

    I’ll assume “John Barron” is still within limits, though.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Yeah. Fuck that clown.

  • Shoto

    “Melon Trump” Pretty sure that’s gonna leave a mark. (What would happen if you mixed an Egg Romney with a Melon Trump? I’m thinking it would be The Singularity. Where’s my Nobel Prize?)

    As for Tiffany, I can only say this: Run Tiffany, Run!!

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I’d love to see her endorse whatever Democrat is running for office in the area she lives, the end.

    • Painter of Goats

      Melon Trump/Egg Romney: Worst. Smoothie. Ever.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Please come to the front desk to claim your prize.

  • gratuitous

    Can Melon Trump sue Rose? Official legal advice, proffered by someone who’s not a lawyer at all: If you have the filing fee (and sometimes, not even then, but we don’t think Melon Trump would file pro forma pauperis), you can sue anyone for anything. Whether you’ll prevail is another matter entirely.

    • SnarkON

      The better question is, Can Melon pull a Peter Thiel and drain Rose dry with legal fees? And I think we all know the answer to that is yep.

  • anwisok

    I would respectfully submit that Melania is, herself, off limits, other than for things she has actually said/done. Like plagiarism. Or choosing a “cause” that is laughably opposed to the way her husband behaves.

    • Jennifer R

      It’s a little shamey to attack her for doing porn as well.

      • anwisok

        More than a little. Freely chosen, sex work is . . . a job.

        • Jennifer R

          Yeah, I was going for an understatement.

        • Yr. Gma

          That is true. But when one of the planks of the RNC platform is the elimination of porn, it’s more than a little hypocritical for the wingnuts to give the Melon a pass.

      • aureolaborealis

        It is not shamey to point out the racism and/or hypocrisy of the right wing by comparing Melania with the women who the right wing has gone after, like, say, I dunno, Michelle Obama. This can be done without judging Melania’s past.

      • SnarkON

        No, it is absolutely within bounds to point out that the wife of the “Family Values” party candidate is a softcore porn actress.

        • aureolaborealis

          Also too: an illegal immigrant.

        • Jennifer R

          I do porn for fun and you are a shit heel for saying that doing porn is bad.

          • SnarkON

            I didn’t say that. Also, you’re an asshole.

      • Dessert tray of DOOOOM

        Can we make fun of her if it was really bad porn? Like Bat Pussy bad?
        Yes, this is real movie.No, I have not seen it but you can blame Cinema Snob for my being aware of its existence.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I still think she chose her cause pre-election in an attempt to make the voters focus on what a jagoff her husband is. Too bad it didn’t work.

      • anwisok

        This is a possibility I had not considered.

      • cmd

        I bet she was really thinking, I’m going to ditch this asshole and take the prenup as soon as this danged election is over and OOPS!

        • Gayer Than Thou

          I imagine that there are about 40-some women in American history who have all said the same thing in early November: “Well, fuck. Now I’m the First Lady.”

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I tend to agree, but I can’t promise I won’t use “Melon Trump” as a drag name.

      • Msgr_Moment

        Just stay away from Gallagher while you’re performing.

    • Yr. Gma

      She’s off limits exactly the way Michelle Obama was off limits. She’s an adult. She sold her soul to the Orange Devil. When she trots out her hypocritical outrage, she should get it right in the rind. But, yeah, the little boy is off limits.

    • SnarkON

      She is one hundred percent not off limits. In 2005 she chose to marry a public figure and did so very publicly. Now she is the First Fucking Lady of the United States. She is the very definition of a public figure.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Agreed. That poor kid has enough to deal with due to his father: let’s not pile on. Tiffany gets a pass too since she only did the bare minimum she had to to keep her inheritance. The other three, OTOH: have at it, kids!

    • Jennifer R

      It’s fairly common knowledge she isn’t getting an inheritance.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Poor kid probably still has false hope for one, though.

        • Jennifer R

          She seems to be getting a drip as long as she sucks up (which is the point, donnie and Marla had a bad break up so the kid has to suck his dick for money. Just the kind of thing deadbeat donnie would do)

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Tiff is the only child from the Trump/Maples union. Maybe that’s why.

  • Spurning Beer

    We should ask Jack Stueff what he thinks of this.

    • schmannity

      Stueff? That guy was a r****d.

  • Mpeg

    How does anyone get the impression her name rhymes with ‘melon’?? On teevee when Donald or a talking head refers to he it sounds more like “Milan-ia” or Get-off-“me-lawn”ia.

  • Crystalclear12

    Uneducated voters brought them to power so “Melon” it is.

  • Oneofthebobs

    If I lived with that sociopathic family, I might become autistic by choice.

  • goonemeritus

    Dear Wonkette can you provide a stick figure drawing that shows how to perform a Jersey pile driver? Please annotate or use arrows to show motion.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Signed, Dirty Sanchez.

  • Mpeg

    This is the best garbled meta prose since
    “WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS”,
    “#bqhatvwr,” or
    whoever typed “T” and tweeted it. (Can anyone help me remember who twatted “T”? Was it the griftin’ snowbilly herself?)

    • Crystalclear12

      “Twatted”
      Heh

    • How did you leave off “how is babby formed”?

    • FlownOver

      Indeed it was Quitterella.

  • OrG

    MELON TRUMP LOL LOL LOL LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Wait – do you see all of my searches or only the ones that brought me here? Because I swear I don’t know who was searching for “college wrester wardrobe malfunction” on my computer.

    • boredcatlady

      It was me, I was searching for that on your computer and I’m not going to apologiz

      • Gayer Than Thou

        You could at least send some links…

        • willi0000000

          check your browser history.

      • Come here a minute

        I don’t see where any apologizzing is necessary.

      • OneYieldRegular

        Vladimir! If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand…

  • Am I at least allowed to repeatedly point out how much Donnie fucking HATES Tiffany? ’cause the amount that he hates her is “a lot”.

    • Mpeg

      If she doesn’t want the limelight let her not be smothered in its magnifying glass. For all we know (and we don’t , really) it’s her choice to steer clear and he’s honoring that choice. If there’s actual tension/ rivalry there, it’s the least of my worries~

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Tiffany has her Instagram career to concentrate on.

  • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

    a melon and a mango. What a pair.

  • John Iwaniszek

    I’m not calling her melon

  • mirele

    Barron Trump is IMHO a private figure, so presumably Melania could sue the maker of the video for invasion of privacy, as Barron’s “next friend” (a legal term of art indcating Barron isn’t of age so a parent or guardian would have to sue on his behalf). However, suing Rosie O’Donnell for a tweet is quite a stretch.

    I saw part of the video before it was taken down. I objected strenuously to the person who gave me the link, because Barron is a private citizen and a child, the video was speculative to the max and since I’m on the spectrum, it just made me uncomfortable.

    • SnarkON

      Barron Trump is not a private figure, nor has he ever been. Melon would not win an invasion of privacy lawsuit.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Is there a bar on making fun of the kid’s name?

      (That’s really his parent’s doing, after all?)

      • mirele

        If a child could sue a parent over a name, it would have been enormously tempting to sue my mother for giving me a name which people cannot spell when they hear it pronounced, or pronounce when they see it spelled. Five and a half decades later…yeah, still a bit sore about it.

      • Penny Dreadful

        ISWYDT

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • beingreleased

      Personally, I don’t blame the few people who voted green. I blame the millions of people who voted for the worst candidate in the history of candidates.

      • aureolaborealis

        Also, save a little scorn for the fucktards who stayed home.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Oh hey, do you remember this Ask Wonket series we do occasionally, when somebody does a Google search and it lands them at our august website, and we feel the need to answer the questioner’s question?

    How is thin-skinned babby presnent formed?

    • SnarkON

      JINX

  • SnarkON

    How is babby formed? How girl get pragnent? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ll-lia-FEIY

    • boredcatlady

      There’s a whole Bristol Palin series on wonkette trying to answer that same question!

  • timpundit

    I always thought the name Melania Trump was perfect for a Hogwarts Professor.

  • JVisconti

    If I were young master Trump, I would remain silent until the reading of the will.

    • FlownOver

      And then throw my head back and laugh like a fucking hyena.

  • borninatrailer
  • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

    Eh, sorry – no. They are all on-limits. No one in that family gets a free pass from me, Tiffany and Barron included. I’m not going to make up stories, and wonder if he has some sort of disability – but he’s fair game.

    • He’s also 10 years old. How much autonomy did you have from your parents when you were 10?

      • FlownOver

        Quite a lot more than today’s precious snowflakes have, AAMOF.

      • In his case he’s probably entirely free of his parents, but over-nannied.

      • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

        I had none: zero, zip, zilch… But I still don’t care. People are still asking Ronald Reagan’s son questions, people still use Shrub’s daughters as political props, Malia and Sasha will always have an outsized voice, as does Chelsea. I don’t want this kid to ever be used a political prop by the neo-nazis that his piece of shit sperm donor represents, or the white nationalists or any of the other filth that is now going to occupy the WH.

        I will treat him with the same contempt I treat the rest of this trash.

  • XtremeFeministRodeoQueen MLG

    I also ran across-

    Iz Dahnald Trump goeeng two lahk Heelury Klinton up?

    I assume they learned to spell Trump correctly because he can’t come up with any other name for his doomed businesses.

    • Msgr_Moment

      “Too hillbillys walk into a bar.” — Daniel Boone

      • XtremeFeministRodeoQueen MLG

        I’m a Hillbilly, and Daniel Boone is my ancestor. I also live in the town named after him. Have a great day!! :)

        • Not Actually A Commenter

          I have occasionally sampled the products of his farm, also too

        • Msgr_Moment

          Was that near the tree where he killed a bar?

          • Drank that “bar” right the hell outta business.

          • XtremeFeministRodeoQueen MLG

            It’s bare, for heaven’s sake!!

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    Wow, that botox really works. Her green complexion nicely complements the orange in Donnie.

  • Jenny

    Melon Trump probably is glad Ivanka is taking on first lady duties.

    When Donald said he wanted to be president she was probably like sure honey you can do anything. Now omg her life is fucked she can’t even yell at poors outside her home anymore. THANKS DONALD!

    • beingreleased

      She had probably already drafted divorce papers for when he lost. She probably stay around for while now, though.

      • Msgr_Moment

        “I prefer husbands who win.”

      • Jenny

        Way to ruin her perfectly legitimate divorce America!!

  • Dessert tray of DOOOOM

    We KNOW Trump Himself is illiterate. Samantha Bee said so.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Bbbbbbuuttt…..he has all the best and bigliest words.

      • Dessert tray of DOOOOM

        But he can’t read any of them. I probably shouldn’t find that as funny as I do.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Poor kid! Maybe Barron Trump is just embarrassed and humiliated.

    http://fake.trendolizer.com/images/caption_3663966.jpg

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Making her a melon is so racist. What’s the frequency, Evan?

  • You sure they didn’t mean Rosemary “18.5 Mins.” Woods?

    • Yr. Gma

      79% of the Wonketariat has no idea WTF you said.

      • arglebargle

        Let’s go to the tape.

      • Well, this is their opportunity to learn, w/ the Magic Google. Thinking/hoping this mess will end like that mess, but (fingers X’d) sooner.

        • Yr. Gma

          Your mouth>god’s ear.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Tell me, NYT linky, an interesting thought from a college professor who has been called out by the wingnuts:

    So when I first confirmed my students’ concerns, I was engulfed by a feeling of righteous indignation, even anger. The list maker would rather that we run in shame after having been called out. Yet I was reminded of the novel “The Bluest Eye” in which Toni Morrison wrote that anger was better than shame: “There is a sense of being in anger. A reality and presence. An awareness of worth.” The anger I experienced was also — in the words the poet and theorist Audre Lorde used to describe the erotic — “a reminder of my capacity for feeling.” It is that feeling that is disruptive of the Orwellian gestures embedded in the Professor Watchlist. Its devotees would rather I become numb, afraid and silent. However, it is the anger that I feel that functions as a saving grace, a place of being.

    Thank you, Professor, for making me feel better about the rage I have had for almost a month now. Fight on!

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      I read that and felt better too also. But it made me flashback to my undergraduate days when professors would speak like this and it made me want to stab pencils into my ears. WHY DO YOU WANT PENCILS STABBED INTO MY BRAIN, CALLYSON?

  • Bub the Mad Zombie

    “the two Twilight extras”

    Reason #2,347,175 to hate those stinkin’ movies…

  • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

    OT – just back from the store, chatting with my good friend that manages there. Lots of friendly people today, ladies that liked my compliments on their fashions, older men not knowing if it’s OK to look at my legs – I guess I am the only chick that wears Booty shorts with a Moto jacket XD – and it was nice.

  • Bill D. Burger

    So now I have to feel guilty every time I see ‘Sid’ from Ice Age, huh? Damn!

    http://img.ifcdn.com/images/9dd0a0df384dc94abbf3836d0de90f03f616e2f99bfe2a7726c4d21d60328af1_1.jpg

    • Perhaps literally the smallest mouth on any mature humanoid on the planet.

      But the visible roots & two black eyes make up for it.

  • arglebargle

    I’m withholding my opinion until Ham Rove weighs in.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Won’t anybody thing of the Melons? Leave Melon alone!

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    No one can say Melania is melonin-challenged any more.

  • Ali | Cat of the Resistance

    Are people actually bullying the kid? I mean, beyond people speculating if he’s autistic? I saw some vague bitching on Titter about how OMG LEAVE THE KID ALONE SO MEAN LIBURALS!11 but it didn’t go into details.

    Fuck MELON DRUMPF though.

  • beingreleased

    OT: A strike on the War on Christmas:
    Beaver walks into Md. store, finds only artificial Christmas trees, and proceeds to trash it
    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/local/wp/2016/12/01/cute-beaver-trashes-store-after-holiday-shopping-in-maryland/

    • Ezio Auditore

      There are too many ground troops in the north pole.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      That’s one Cleaver Beaver you got there.

    • Badly behaved but cute beaver? Mmmm …

    • Nockular cavity

      Trump: “Just grab ’em by the…uh…hold on here…”

  • Remembering the kids of the past presidents. I can vividly remember Malia and Sasha being attacked. I can remember Chelsy being attacked. But I can’t really remember any of the republican kids being attacked. Seems like only the dem’s children are fair game in this thing we call politics.

    • Yr. Gma

      There was a fair amount of shit tossed in the direction of the Bush twins.

      • OrG

        They kinda brought that on themselves.

        • Yr. Gma

          That’s true. I was simply answering the question about Republican kids getting criticism. Yes, there were some who did. And if we go back aways, the Nixon girls, Ford’s umpteen teenagers, and not that it’s the same, but Reagan’s adult children got lots of press. And if you think about it, Poppy Bush’s little boy got plenty of shit later on when he took Poppy’s place. The girls were attacked on their looks (poor Amy Carter) and the boys (Ford’s crew) on their intelligence. Standard stuff. It’s a shit job to be a president’s kid no matter which party. (If you want to kill some time on the Googles, go look up the Nixon girls, the “pretty” one vs. the one who looked like her father. Some truly sexist snark back then.)

      • Dessert tray of DOOOOM

        Before or after the falling down drunk episode?

      • And deservedly so, for their actions, not their appearance. Note also that the Clinton, Carter, & Obama children were mostly teen-aged (or less) when their pappies were in The White House.

    • beingreleased

      I remember laughing at the Bush twins for getting arrested for underage drinking. There was also a good (probably false) story about them running around a South American hotel naked. And Larry Flynt offered one of them (but not the other) money to pose in Hustler.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      I dunno Billy Bush seems to be having some rough teenage years right now. You know how when you and your friend both get caught for something your friend did and you get in trouble but your friend gets to be President? No fair!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Oh the Bush twins got blasted for being party girls (aka “college students”). But nobody threatened to sue (ditto Chelsea, who likely had a case because it was awful; Amy Carter, the Obamas); they just issued statements reminding everyone that the kids are off limits.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    I think, if the pictures of her that I’ve seen haven’t been retouched, Melons is an accurate description.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I laughed. I’m not proud.

  • OT: Donand’s lead in the 3 state recount is slashed to only 40k votes….

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      cite?

  • Jamoche

    Melon people are too cool to be associated with Trumps
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfDML1QPnuY

    • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

      Watermelon Stevens!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Damned if the Trump Chumps don’t rival the Scientologists in firing off lawsuits.

    And that’s a LOT of lawsuits.

    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/cf/4a/f3/cf4af32aad2ee864d2399a048586dd93.jpg

    • Shoto

      If we can figure a way to get Drumpf to sue the Scientologists, and the Scientologists to counter-sue Drumpf (and vice versa, etc.), then maybe we can initiate their mutual assured destruction?

      Hey, it’s worth a shot, right?

  • Dessert tray of DOOOOM

    Since the older offspring are fair game… Regarding Eric, I thought it was still illegal to keep ferrets in NYC.

    • Suttree

      I thought I saw something moving around in his pants.

      • MamaBrown

        megalomania gives him a woody

    • Kateaux

      Is Eric the one who looks like Voldemort’s his real dad? Or is that Junior?

      • Dessert tray of DOOOOM

        I was going to write Eric, but now that you mention it, this is a very good question. I don’t know.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Eric’s the one who looks like he should wear a football helmet every time he goes outside.

  • Ezio Auditore

    I think Mike Pence and Donald Trump are reprehensible and unfit to lead this nation, but attacking his son for being autistic is a big no-no.

    On that note, let me just say that I find it horrid when people call Trump or his supporters mentally ill or r*tard. People who struggle with mental illness don’t choose to be that way. Bigots, on the other hand, do.

    • Dessert tray of DOOOOM

      The correct term for Trump supporters is “mouth breathing, paste eating idiots from the shallow end of the gene pool”.

    • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

      Agreed, endorsed, and to amplify: I think Donald is a stoopid, worthless fraud, and Pence is an evil, hate-filled waste that too closely resembles Race Bannon from “Jonny Quest”.

      • chortlingdingo

        OH MY GOD he does look like Race Bannon. Thanks for ruining my childhood show!

    • BadWolfGirl

      Absolutely. The BWK asked me if I knew if Barron was on the spectrum. I told him that I didn’t know. BWK just hopes that Barron is being protected & is getting the various therapies/treatments to make the world more managable.

      You’d think with all the horrible names he’s been called recently (by Trump supporters) that he’d be mean. Nope. BWK just hopes that DJT loves, accepts & helps Barron.

  • Suttree

    I understand Melon (hahaha) being protective of her son, but she can go fuck herself with this sue everybody crap. Fuck all of the adult Trumps (except Tiff) right in the ear, with votes.

  • aureolaborealis

    OT: Don’t know much about this guy, but I think I like the cut of his jib:

    “We’re not letting any prepped-out Harvard Business School neo-Nazi strategize us into becoming Germany 1933,” [Jamie Raskin] vowed, “and we will not let a cabinet of robber barons and white nationalists destroy everything the civilizing movements of the last century created.”

    • Terri Czarski

      I will miss him in the Maryland General Assembly but I hope he kicks ass in Congress.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Ezio Auditore

      Trump supporter: LOL! These stupid libs are offended and triggered by everything! Get over it, crybabies! It’s called free speech!

      *Hamilton cast calls out Mike Pence, SNL mocks Trump etc*

      Trump supporter: BOYCOTT HAMILTON NOW. TRUMP SAID THE THEATER SHOULD BE A SAFE PLACE. KEEP THESE POLITICS OUT OF IT. APOLOGIZE TO TRUMP! THIS IS SO ANTI-AMERICAN AND RACIST.

  • Sweet Blood of Jesus, if my parents were Donald J. Trump & his most recent imported/immigrated-from-Mittel-Europe child bride/model, I’d sure as hell retreat into the relative bliss of autism.

    • Jamoche

      Insert The Who’s “Tommy” here.

      • Mayor_Mayor_Mayor

        These kids are a different kind of dumb, though.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Additionally, if simple ignorance were truly bliss, Trump voters will have achieved Nirvana by now.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    So what is the nickname list up to now, just for Melania? Lessee, I got

    1) Melon
    2) Mellonia
    3) Melatonin
    4) Melanin
    5) Malaria

    Any others? I suppose we could get nasty if we switched some letters and went for things like “Fellatia” or “Moronica”, but that seems kinda like cheating.

    Yes, I’m permanently 16 years old. I’ll own it.

    • Stinky_Hole

      Melamine.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Smooth!

    • It’s O.K., I’ve been 18 & holding since sometime in the ’70s.

    • Melancholia.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I’ve had 21 consecutive 25th birthdays, so, I know that feel bro.

    • Resistinceisnotfutile

      Melanoma.

    • Mpeg

      “Millennia.”

      BURN HER!~!1!

    • Melonoma

    • Shoto

      Melmac

  • AHEM, Melon, from the Google:

    Mental Illness Risk Higher for Children of Older Fathers, Study Finds …
    http://www.nytimes.com/…/mental-illness-risk-higher-for-children-of-older-parents-study-fi...
    Feb 26, 2014 – In the population as a whole, children born to older fathers were at higher risk of some disorders, like autism and schizophrenia, but lower risk …

    Father’s Age Linked to Autism and Schizophrenia – The New York Times
    http://www.nytimes.com/…/fathers-age-is-linked-to-risk-of-autism-and-schizophrenia.html
    Aug 22, 2012 – Older men are more likely than young ones to father a child who develops autism or schizophrenia, because of random mutations that become …

    • beingreleased

      How dare you insult Donnie’s sperm? Sperm libel!! Sue!!

      • “Sperm libel”: Worse than “blood libel”?

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Stickier.

          • Bub the Mad Zombie

            At first. Then sorta crusty.

            So they say!

      • beingreleased

        Looking back at my comment, I wish I had said “Splooge libel.” “Splooge” is a much funnier word.

        • “Gyzm”. Now that’s funny!

          And I think you can edit DISQUS comments forever. I know I do.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      My parents were both well over 40 when I was conceived so WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? I can’t hear over the voices in my head, and body language is out due to my inability to decode people’s moods or look anyone in the eye.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I know this is a joke but this is how I learned to look people in the eye (under threat of physical punishment, yes my childhood was disturbing, no I’ve never been diagnosed with autism): look at the shape and color of the eye, not the eye itself. Also if you continuously make quirky jokes no one will notice how clearly uncomfortable you are.

    • P.S.: Why has The Times covered this the last two even-numbered yrs.? And where’s this yr.’s story?

    • Bub the Mad Zombie

      And considering how Uday and Qusay turned out, I’d say the deck is stacked against poor Barron.

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      Stale wigglers, eh?

  • Paperless Tiger

    Ah, the trials and tribulations of the leisure class, poor dears. Thank God they transferred all our wealth to themselves, so at least they don’t worry about money.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    And if suing doesn’t work, she can put her team of cyberbullies to work.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Melania:
    Of Greek origin, meaning black or dark.

    Fuck! She really was born a poor black woman. Perhaps that explains the sympatico sister speeches?

    http://f.tqn.com/y/politicalhumor/1/S/g/h/6/melania-poor-black-girl.jpg

  • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

    Hmmmm. With all the other issues I have to worry about as a minority/woman/immigrant in a country soon to be taken over by the most overtly racist president I’ve known, I could not care less about that child or even have time to make fun of him.

  • AntiDerpomeme

    “Mellon Trump” is simply perfect, and I’m annoyed at myself for not coining that monicker.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Speaking of Mellon:

      The United Steelworkers of America is encouraging members to withdraw their savings from Pittsburgh-based Mellon Bank Corp. in an effort to force Mellon to intervene in a nine-month strike against Wheeling-Pittsburgh Steel. Mellon claims it has no responsibility for the strike because it owns no stock in WHX Corp., the parent company of Wheeling-Pitt. USWA members picketed the bank company’s headquarters last week as part of their campaign to press for an end to the strike.

      Ding ding ding!

  • Rotational Symmetry

    Bless you, autocorrect, for the gift of Melon Trump.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    No, I do not want to know if that melon has seed in it or not.

    • therblig

      how about worms?

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        You owe me a new keyboard.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Well, I think you can sue anyone for anything. It’s just that a judge might get angry with you for bringing a bullshit case and judges can be pretty mean when they think you’re wasting their time.

    And I’d say something bad about the Trump kids, but I always forget who’s who… which one is the one that looks like a Twilight shiny vampire serial killer pedophile and which boy is the one that looks like the model for the poster sororities put up warning the girls about men putting things into the drinks to date rape them?

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      BOTK?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Lefty Frizzell

      All we need now is Wolf Fucking Blitzer to do a piece on Breitbart vs every scientist in the fucking world, just two differing opinions, the verdict is not in yet on so-called climate “science”.

      • Shoto

        “Breitbart says that climate change doesn’t exist, whereas virtually every reputable scientist worldwide says that it does. Both sides have a good argument, so I guess we’ll never know…”

        — Wolf Blitzer

    • janecita

      This is absolutely depressing. We, as a nation, have reached peak idiocy levels.

      • Shoto

        Nah, I’m pretty sure we can sink even further, but I take your point.

    • Bub the Mad Zombie

      What’s next? Citing a Weekly World News story about secret alien flying saucer bases under the South Pole?

      Aaaah, who are we kidding anyway. This is pretty thin beer. These fuckers actually believe the earth is only 6,000 years old, and they got THAT out of their Big Book ‘o Shepherds Fables. Compared to that, denying climate change is fuck all, really.

      • Please! That’s secret Nazi flying saucer bases, & they come out of the hole at the North Pole that leads to the inside of our hollow planet.

      • Shoto

        “…secret alien flying saucer bases under the South Pole…”

        That’s just a Science Fact.

        — Alex Jones

  • AntiDerpomeme

    “The Mellon and the Yam” is my new children’s coloring book series. Mellon and Yam live in a hollowed-out pumpkin in the sky. Mellon has a secret carrot friend that Yam doesn’t know about. Sometimes, they leave their pumpkin and bid the turnips to gather and shun the proud Eggplant, because he laughed at Yam’s crazy theories about eggplants coming from Kenya. Yam is best friends with a frumpy badger, who secretly harbors a desire to eat Yam’s face, but for now Yam and his turnip minons are useful.

    • janecita

      I like it! It needs more Kale though.

      • AntiDerpomeme

        Kale ran as a third-party candidate espousing unscientific anti-nitrogen soil management theories, but the acai berries thought she was a cool, hip alternative and threw their antioxidants behind Kale, which became one of the many reasons the whole veggie patch fell into the hands of turnipists and the crazy zucchini opportunists.

        • janecita

          I love it!

    • Bub the Mad Zombie
    • Painter of Goats

      Your Veggie Tales are far, far better than the original series.

    • Penny Dreadful

      Is this available for pre-order?

  • Wild Cat

    I just have a raging hard-on to see the neo-nazi buggering Ted Cruz’s wife while Cruz kisses the neo-nazi’s ring . . .

    • anon_the_great

      Sexual violence is bad no matter the victim, m’kay?

    • Vecchiojohn

      If I’d had a raging hard-on, that image would have deflated it.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    A photo of a 4-year-old with Hillary Clinton was used as a disgusting meme. Her mom fought back. It’s an absolutely disgusting story about Trumpsters being monsters. And although the mom only makes $10 and hour and couldn’t afford a lawyer, sometimes the digital world works in wondrous ways.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/inspired-life/wp/2016/12/01/a-photo-of-a-4-year-old-with-hillary-clinton-was-used-as-a-disgusting-meme-her-mom-fought-back/?hpid=hp_hp-more-top-stories_clinton-meme-1015am%3Ahomepage%2Fstory&utm_term=.035423a78d10

    • Mayor_Mayor_Mayor

      ADL don’t fuck around.

    • Moebym of the Rebel Alliance

      I saw that. Deplorable is too kind a word to use to describe these monsters.

  • Kateaux

    Does the fact that it’s only Melon who’s threatening to sue seem significant to anyone else? As if Pussy Grabber doesn’t care about the boy?

    • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

      This is staged for public consumption, and the lawyers thought this would play better. A mother defending her child will go over big with Donald voters, whereas the vicious old fascist fraud going after his long-time nemesis would not strike quite the same sympathetic chord.

      In any case, his legal team makes all these decisions fully aware of all the PR implications.

      • Bub the Mad Zombie

        Besides, I’m sure there’s a pre-nup. Barron is her meal ticket.

        Yes, I am that cynical.

    • therblig

      i’m sure if it were true, the poor kid would be seen as an embarrassment to the godlike specimen his father is. so, instead of embracing an opportunity to some good for millions of similar families, it gets ignored because it tarnishes trumpy.

      and, of course, it’s all due to melon’s faulty eggs.

      • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

        “They” say–and I must say this has the ring of possibility to me–that one reason Donald picked an anti-vaxxer as his HHS head, and has spoken with unusual authenticity about his own sympathy for the anti-vaxxer movement, is that he is convinced the poor little boy was born “normal” and was damaged by a routine vaccination.

        He’s the sort of man who needs to believe that he is only capable of spawning perfection, and that the child, having a “defect,” has to be explained away in some way that lets Donald off the hook altogether.

        • therblig

          the best thing for that kid would probably be to never move into the white house.

          • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

            I actually wouldn’t wish the Beltway fishbowl on any child, including this one.

        • Jennifer R

          deadbeat donnie was what 60 when the kid was born? That’s some shitty genetic material to start off with.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Which-again, if true-is really going to be great for that poor fucking kid…to be thought of as damaged merchandise to be furtive and ashamed of.

  • anon_the_great

    If Barron is autistic perhaps he and his Mum staying in familiar surroundings for the time being is the right thing to do.

    There might be a shred of humanity in this family after all.

    • Fine, but it would be awesome if they weren’t charging my town a million bucks a day to protect them.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Careful, she might sue you for saying that.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Yeah…if true, that humanity is why they act like it’s a shameful secret.

  • Mr. Blobfish
    • OrG

      um…..Possum Libel

      • Vecchiojohn

        T.S. Eliot libel.

    • AntiDerpomeme

      Jesus, it’s only a photograph, and yet it’s still evil enough to suck the soul right outta ya if you stare too long.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        “My dad’s empire for a lower jaw!” shout the boys.

        • C4TWOMAN

          Really, all of them. Only reason Ivanka looks okay is she’s leaner/skinnier than the rest.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Revenge of the recessive genes! There’s a slackjawed idiot somewhere in that family tree. Other than Dad, anyway.

      • BadWolfGirl

        I am so glad that you said it first!

    • Bub the Mad Zombie

      Backpfeifengesicht, ein, zwei, drei!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Mit Schlag!

        • Bub the Mad Zombie

          Natürlich

      • BigHorn

        Gunter glieben glauchen globen

        • Bub the Mad Zombie

          Unsinn

          • BigHorn

            Ja. Und urkomisch.

          • Bub the Mad Zombie

            sehr amüsant, ja

        • anwisok

          It’s better to burn out
          Than to fade away.

    • Jennifer R

      The one in the middle looks like the chinless klanner in that preacher scene.

      • kwachie

        Do Uday and Qusay ever wash their hair? Like, EVER???

        • Shan

          No. They have people for that.

        • Jennifer R

          That is just all the Dapper Dan they comb in every morning. Fuck help the wives if they accidentally let the help buy FOP.

    • Shoto

      Village of the Damned Libelz!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The Children of the short fingered, cheeto faced, ferret wearing Con.

    • TheAmazingBearded2Spirit

      Skin jobs.

  • therblig
  • janecita

    In all honesty though, her face looks better as a melon.

    • therblig

      oh honeydew tell

      • Vecchiojohn

        I musk object.

  • Jeffocaster in the East

    They call her melon yellow……

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Is that Freedom Rock, man?

      • Mayor_Mayor_Mayor

        Well turn it up, mannnnnn

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      She has a yellow melon….

      • La Resistance O’hontas

        That’s just cheeto dust.

  • Bill Slider

    In Contract Bridge, 3 no-trump means you have a very weak hand, with 7 points or fewer. (If memory serves, it’s been decades). Four no-trump, on the other hand, tells your partner that what they don’t have, you have much of it, with the exception of maybe two cards.
    With Donald Trump, I stick with 3 no-trump, as it is clear he has weak hands, and a higher bid will get you in trouble.

    • Vecchiojohn

      Good. Now, could you explain the rule against perpetuities?

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Just when the finals nightmares had subsided . . .

    • Lefty Frizzell

      I tried bridge for a while and I really didn’t get some of the bidding conventions. Assuming you’re right – wouldn’t the opposing team leap at the opportunity to leave you with 3NT and fuck you up?

  • Vecchiojohn

    I have deliberately kept myself ignorant of the members of Clan Trump. I don’t care until one is appointed to something higher than dog catcher. Then, they’re fair game.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      They’ve done a remarkable job of keeping themselves ignorant too.

      • Bub the Mad Zombie

        Well, they work at it…

      • Vecchiojohn

        Home schooling !

  • anon_the_great

    Yannow, all this shade tossed at Melania is bullshit. She didn’t sign up for any of this. All she wanted to do was get the fuck out of the Hellscape of the 1994 Eastern Europe. If bearing the child of some American billionaire was the cost of admission, so be it. Better than being a Belarus sex slave for a half decade before being murdered by some international businessman. Seriously.

    • Mpeg

      Oh she’s got sincerity and absence of ambition written all over, I can see it in her eyes. As Linus was fond of telling Sally: “Nothing but sincerity as far as the eye can squint!”

    • janecita

      Seriously, she didn’t need to marry him. She was already here and making money as a glamour model. She’s a liar, and she deserves all the shade that she gets.

      • Bub the Mad Zombie

        Agreed. She didn’t marry him to escape. She had already escaped. She made a conscious decision to marry a scumbag a quarter century older than her, for money. I have no sympathy for her. For Barron, yes, but not for her.

        • anon_the_great

          Who the hell are you to pass judgement on her martial choice?

          • Bub the Mad Zombie

            Who the hell are you to say I can’t?

          • anon_the_great

            Touche’

            Then again I was raised to not to pass judgement on the intimate lives of others.

          • Yr. Gma

            Are you going to sue?

          • anon_the_great

            Nope. No Standing. And she isn’t either. It’s just something her fat orange husband blurts at the drop of a hat.

      • anon_the_great

        Oh. So who should she have married? Someone more to your liking? Seriously, she didn’t run for POTUS.

        • janecita

          Well, if she had marry a decent man she wouldn’t be in this situation, and we wouldn’t be talking about her. She chose to marry a narcissist sociopath for money, she gets what she deserves.

    • All that maybe true, but she sure doesn’t deserve to be the friggin’ First Lady of the United States.

      • anon_the_great

        But that’s not her fault.

        • Yr. Gma

          Yep. Innocent and pure as the driven snow.

          • anon_the_great

            Probably not but again, none of our effin’ business.

          • Yr. Gma

            Huh?

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Sexism should always be off limits. A First Lady is a public figure and subject to criticism and mocking for legitimate issues, though. Including abuse of legal threats against critics of her family.

      • anon_the_great

        So the horrible things said about Michelle Obama are OK?

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          Excuse me but how the actual fuck are you getting that from what I said?

          • Yr. Gma

            He’s got one on for Melon, I think. I think he’s doing knight in shining armor or some such. Beats me where all this misplaced devotion is coming from.

          • janecita

            “There is a sucker born every minute.”

          • Bub the Mad Zombie

            A most excellent question! I was like, huh!?

        • OrG

          Only if they’re true.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I agree she can be criticized but I also feel like she has been somewhat dragged into this. After all, threatening his wife with how she could lose her citizenship because of her background as an illegal worker here doesn’t seem below Donald.

    • Yr. Gma

      Didn’t she come from a rather well-placed family?

      • anon_the_great

        Don’t know and it don’t matter.

        • OrG

          Belarus sex slave?

          • anon_the_great

            For instance…

        • Yr. Gma

          Well, it’s just that a well-placed family might help her to avoid becoming a Belarus sex slave and then murdered. Maybe you should educate yourself on what you say before you say it? Just a thought.

          • janecita

            Especially since she is not from Belarus.

          • Yr. Gma

            Apparently the fate of all women from the Baltic states is to become a Belarus sex slave for six months before being murdered. It’s much easier to argue something if the only “evidence” you have at hand is a silly, and geographically incorrect, stereotype.

          • Slavakitty

            I don’t think she was in any danger of being a murdered sex slave in Belarus or even Slovenia, her actual birthplace. But there may be some truth to the rumors that she engaged in some “escort” jobs when she was trying to establish her modeling career here. That’s pretty common in the modeling profession, especially for non-citizens. I always figured that’s the real story behind how she and Trumpy first met.

      • Slavakitty

        Working class, more like. Her father managed car/motorcycle dealerships and her mom was a patternmaker for a children’s clothing factory. She didn’t leave a lasting impression on her schoolmates or seem to stand out much. She’s apparently somewhat a late bloomer and I don’t get the impression she’s much of an attention whore — that’s more Ivanka’s thing, IMHO. She poses for photoshoots because it’s her profession. *Ahem.* But I can’t seem to muster much sympathy because I don’t think she’s being victimized. I think she’s a skilled opportunist just like her hubby.

    • OrG

      She’s an adult.Life choices sometimes have consequences.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      What’s bullshit is her being a bully. This isn’t the first time either.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      I’ll concede some of what you say, but she did kinda bring some of this on herself with the cyber bullying speech. Imagine what they would have said about Michelle’s cause if Barry was circumferentially challenged.

      • anon_the_great

        I suggest Melania is more like a hostage reading what shed has been given.

        • OrG

          Take out “more like a hostage” and I agree.

  • C4TWOMAN

    that, repugnant and evil and creepy as Trump is, his young son is OFF FUCKING LIMITS.

    Sad this needs to be said, but thanks for saying it.

    • BadWolfGirl

      X infinity

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
    • Shoto

      Go Buzz!

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Let’s all punch a flat earther in his honor! Or at least watch this video of him doing it

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wptn5RE2I-k

      • Lefty Frizzell

        That was excellent! Did any suing ensue?

        • Jennifer R

          Thrown out because he antagonized buzz with fighting words.

          • Vecchiojohn

            Also, he’s Buzz Aldrin, so whoever he punched damn well deserved it.

          • Jennifer R

            That too. IIRC the jerkass who got punched was cited for trespassing too.

      • Bub the Mad Zombie

        Nice right hand Buzz!

      • Jennifer R

        Can we lock deadbeat donnie in a room with buzz for a while?

    • Vecchiojohn

      This fucker is 20 years my senior and he’s mucking around Antarctica? I’m too lazy to go down the hill and get the mail when it’s under 50 degrees.

  • Gosala

    My Disqus seems to have been in a time warp most of the day and this ended up being posted yesterday in direct violation of the temporal prime directive

    So I can finally talk about it without losing my mind because the story has a happy ending.

    Nearly 20 years ago, my SO (to be as they were then) began to study for the ministry (don’t ask, I won’t tell). But they became sick and had to suspend their studies.

    Seven years later, now my SO but still sick, they resumed their studies, completed them and applied to the relevant credentialing committee.

    They went through all the proper preliminaries and all the signs were good. Everyone was very encouraging.

    Their involvement with the church was lifelong and included youth and young adult ministry, child and adult religious education, hospital chaplaincy, anti oppression work, and advocacy for people with disabilities.

    They were known, well liked and respected by ministers and lay people throughout the denomination.

    But the committee, based on a one hour interview, said,”No.”

    They did not give up. It’s been ten years since that awful day. (Though the trip to Stirbridge Village after was very nice. I highly recommend it. )

    They went again before that God awful committee today.

    I just received word that they passed this time.

    So, frabjous day, caloo, callay…Finally I can begin to let go the knot of anger, resent and fear.

    For all that 2016 sucks, one thing went spectacularly, splendidly, blessedly right, and, though it is selfish to say so, the most important thing.

    Maybe I’ll be a little less high strung for a bit.

    I know: TL;DNR, I had to tell someone. Thanks for listening

    • BadWolfGirl

      I read it & congratulations!!

      • Gosala

        Thank you. It’s been a tough road, more so for the SO, of course. Especially the last few weeks when the tiny fingered victory seemed to confirm that nothing good would ever happen again.

    • Shan
      • Gosala

        Yes, that’s the feeling exactly

    • Vecchiojohn

      Molotov!

    • Bemused

      Congrats!

    • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

      Huzzah! Personal good news is balm for the soul right now. Even when it’s people I don’t really know so much.

    • pussygrabber in chief

      This good news makes me happy.

      Posted tomorrow. Look for it two weeks ago.

    • Slavakitty

      Congratulations to your SO. I’m sure he/she will be a credit to his/her ministry. Same thing happened to my SO. Someone on the Commission On Ministry had an axe to grind and blackballed him based on a misinterpretation of one of his answers. He didn’t give up, and they approved him for ordination the following year.

      • Gosala

        Good for them.

        These committees, they have way too much power.

      • Gosala

        Your SO is awesome. As is mine also too

  • Moebym of the Rebel Alliance

    I think it’s highly irresponsible to speculate about Barron’s mental health. Sorry, Rosie – I’d take you over Donnie any day, but on this issue, you’ve gone too far. We don’t want to be doing the same thing to Barron as the Republicans did to Terri Schiavo.

    • BadWolfGirl

      I’ve got to agree with you. When BWK asked me if Barron was on the spectrum, it was a private question. He was not being mean, he was curious. He also wanted to know why DJT hates people with disabilities, especially if Barron is Autistic.

      A lot of people don’t understand that Autism isn’t just a mental health condition. It’s rather similar to MS & BWK unfortunately has physical issues.

      Regardless, it’s no one’s business unless Barron and his parents choose to share it.

      • Moebym of the Rebel Alliance

        I wasn’t aware of that (that autism is similar to MS). Thank you.

        • Jennifer R

          You can get all sorts of physical maladies. From simple dyskonesia to life long bowel problems that can need surgery.

    • gesundheit

      Yeah, it’s definitely completely out of line.

      That said, it is rich indeed that Melania called Rosie a bully, when her husband insulted Rosie’s physical appearance in a PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE. Sweet jesus.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I am on the fence about this one. On the one hand, speculating about people’s health publicly is wrong (because nobody’s business but theirs). On the other hand, a lot of parents will ignore symptoms and never test their children (I did a lot of weird things my parents never even considered might be PTSD or anxiety like unnecessary violence and lots of twirling and hiding in closets) and calling them out on that can be the only way to get them to take care of their kids’ needs. So I will just sit here, confused.

      • Moebym of the Rebel Alliance

        I feel ya. I was never tested for things like anxiety, depression, or ADHD; my parents (and I) chose to believe that I was simply lazy and rebellious.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          My mom called me lazy no matter how many times I said I was just slow.

          • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

            Man. I seriously only figured out in my late 30s that perhaps my laziness and being ‘dramatic and emotional’ was you know, an early manifestation of depression. Still helps to know other people had similar situations. This imaginary community of commentators is the best.

      • Lambsendbeds

        My parents ignored and ridiculed my early childhood signs of depression, despite teachers telling my mother that there was something going on with me. It took a full fledged psychotic break with paranoid delusions to wake them up – at age 13.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Twilight extras? You mean Uday and Qusay?

    • kwachie

      That’s what we call them at our house, too!

    • Bub the Mad Zombie

      Sparkly fascists.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “I love my scams like they are my own children, and Trump University was born in 2005, so off limits!”
    — Donald Trump

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    By the way:

    New congressman Jamie Raskin shows exactly the right attitude Democrats need for taking on Trump

    Raskin had a bit more to say about Bannon. “We’re not letting any prepped-out Harvard Business School neo-Nazi strategize us into becoming Germany 1933,” he vowed, “and we will not let a cabinet of robber barons and white nationalists destroy everything the civilizing movements of the last century created.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0b8e8f10de49876495413779411443b7f093d38ebe972424e9aa6eb8fa70a928.jpg

    • Shoto

      Raskin has the right attitude. No appeasement, no compromise, and no quarter for the Republicans, period. Obstruction should and must be the rule, not the exception.

      • Jennifer R

        Let the collaborators watch us build the tumbrels.

        • Naytch

          I am already sharpening my vote…

      • Gosala

        It’s not obstructionism. It’s standing up* for what’s right.

        *Sorry for the ableism, can anyone help with the language?

        • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

          Defend what is right? Uphold? Champion? (ooh!! a vocab question in comments – jumps in because words are fun)

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            I like “champion” myself.

          • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

            me too.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Moi Aussi! Take the concept of The Enlightenment all the way…it’s not just for the melanin-deprived!

          • Gosala

            All these are better than what I wrote. I like uphold the best, though that may be ableist too, I’ll have to ask around.

        • Naytch

          Obstruction of destruction?

    • Ali | Cat of the Resistance

      Let’s clone that one.

      • Naytch

        I’ll get the swab and petri dish, how long do we let it cook?

    • shaar dula

      Jamie Raskin, the rascal, where was he hiding all this time?

    • La Tijera

      2018! register folks and get them to vote for real justice.

  • Khavrinen

    Seems to me it should be more like “MELON-ON-YA” — you know, like what happens to the people in the front row at a Gallagher performance…

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    To be fair, I found Wonkette on accident (when the Anita hate was high) and I can’t remember the string of words I used to find that article again (to this day, one of the funniest things I’ve ever read) but it was ridiculous.

    • OrG

      I found Wonkette doing a Google search for ‘vanilla isis’ ,been here almost every day since.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        What was your blood alcohol level at the time and could you pass drug test?

        • OrG

          I don’t remember. No.

        • NoMore Moose

          You liberals all do drugs unlike the moral right, like me, who does not do drugs, or and also too, doesn’t drink at cookouts, and get into fights, then we are Patriots. Then.

        • Suttree

          I was drunk! I think I was chastised rather quickly by Dok for say something that was slightly off color within my first few comments. I bothered to read the rules at that point.

    • I found wonkette when google would do spotlight stuffies and it was hilarious and I lurked a whiles and then ventured into comments and now I can’t quit. I mean I can totally quit. Any time I want! I just do not want to.

      • clubseal

        I wish I could remember how I found Wonkette. Part of the problem is that the first time, I read about a billion posts and was instantly hooked, but can’t remember anything except I laughed my ass off the whole time.

      • mancityRed6

        same.

      • Suttree

        Me neither. Now I don’t feel like I’m drinking alone.

        • Mary Sandoras

          Raises glass of sakki to you.

      • pussygrabber in chief

        Liar. Wonkette doesn’t allow comments.

    • mailman27

      Don’t remember how I got here, but I never left. Kind of a nice place.

    • Gosala

      I found Wonkette on my Google news feed. My first reaction was, “Are these people for real? ”

      Now I think only these people are real.

    • Mary Sandoras

      I kind of was looking for a better home after HuffPo wanted you to have a FB account with your phone number to continue blogging. I said FT and ended up here and never left. Your stuck with me now all you liberal elitists.

    • I landed here from…gad I don’t know, might have been TBogg’s joint, maybe Sadly, No…lurked for a bit, then decided “Eh, what the hell.” And of course, just as I got my p-ness nice and high we got shunted to Disqus. That was almost 2 years ago.

    • Suttree

      I must have found us through MPS, Roy Edroso, or Sadly, No. You sure as hell couldn’t comment back then. Well I couldn’t anyway.

    • Ali | Cat of the Resistance

      I’m just going to start googling crazy shit to get to the page everyday.

      • Mary Sandoras

        Googling “dick jokes” should get you here .

    • Jonny On Maui

      Ms. On Maui turned me on to Wonkette. She never ventured into the place where comments aren’t allowed. I don’t know how she found the place…

    • SeekingResistanceBarbie

      I found Wonkette through Sunday with the Christianists.

  • Me not sure

    I’m pretty sure that there is a Gallagher joke in all of this, but I won’t be the one to make it, because too classy. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1a990fdc2e00b44f1f2707820a0ee212c09c7984278a43a4d4bac44b099f2cc0.jpg

    • borninatrailer

      You just know he voted for Trump.

    • clubseal

      I’d posit that a Gallagher joke would still be leagues classier than a Carrot Top joke.

  • Since the Trumps are such sensitive and fragile snowflakes maybe we should just content ourselves with calling Michelle Obama a Monkey Man for the next four years.

    Everybody seemed OK with that.

    • Gosala

      See! Even Mother Nature wars on Xmas

    • Yr. Gma

      God, I love this little guy.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Sarah Palin’s gone rogue again?

    • Suttree

      My hero! I’m going to need a bigger basket.

    • mancityRed6
    • Incoming Ham

      Saw the headline before the picture. What did I immediately think?

      I need therapy.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    No, asinine online poll formulator, I don’t care to “Learn More” about a question as ignorant as “Who do you think Trump will confirm for Secretary of State?”.

    • OrG

      I’ve gotten in the habit of answering “indifferent” to every question.

  • snark-lurker

    iz it not MELLON[S] tRumP? iz it sexzist to call fake jugz MELLONZ?

  • Nounverb911

    FEMA has set up an internment camp for glow in the dark Santas. Can the Easter bunny be next?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ef6d5e5a48510f42e33c1cb88330b8bfe34aa94b55021c142790cfd49fad3544.jpg

    • Jennifer R

      I can hear the meter spin from here.

      • Nounverb911

        And a hale and hearty Merry Christmas from your local power company….

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      OCD is nothing to laugh at.

      • Suttree

        My OCD makes me money. 5 cents at a time.

    • Bub the Mad Zombie
    • Jukesgrrl

      But light-up Baby Jesuses are A-OK.

    • Count Awesome

      So that crazy uncles facebook news feed was right! They ARE rounding up Christians and putting them in camps!

    • Incoming Ham

      Unless there are some Nativity scenes back there it’s all the Devil’s work.

  • PixieThis

    In all seriousness, of course we shouldn’t talk about the children of politicians, etc. But especially poor barron – look at who his parents are! I feel sorry for the young(er) kids whose parents decide to run for these offices because someone always has to be extremely mean about the kids. We’re better than that, but that moron trump sure does make it hard.

    • Nounverb911

      Persevere!

  • Nounverb911

    Steve Bannon sure knows what’s going at the Klan Trump rally today.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/05dbc166a656845e3d512ebd0708e73d3c342cd59cf0ad0171603c3d2d3194bc.png

    • Bub the Mad Zombie

      What a dumb motherfucker. No wonder Drumpf likes him.

    • Dessert tray of DOOOOM

      Christ, Bannon’s got alcohol related dementia already? I can’t wait until he develops Wernike-Korsakoff syndrome or cirrhosis related encephalopathy.

      • Nounverb911

        Good thing they’re getting rid of Obamacare….

    • Bub the Mad Zombie

      Who are those guys with the earpieces and submachine guns? Why is there an army guy with a briefcase around all the time?

  • Ezio Auditore
  • Nounverb911

    Carrier CEO announced that they are still moving 1300 jobs to Mexico while seated next to trump.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/97e952db24174acb762e38b20803294b05bc221e56f55c3f35ba309e69882b2c.png

    • Bub the Mad Zombie

      You do not have the power to decree that, you ignorant sack of gangrenous pig chancres.

    • mancityRed6

      everything I’ve read gives different numbers, the last ones I saw was they’re keeping 850 that were slated to move, and another 300 that weren’t going to move.
      but yeah, there are still going to be a lot that leave.

      • Bub the Mad Zombie

        They never said how long they would stay either, I’ll bet.

        • mancityRed6

          people should be asking Donnie when he’s going to bring all his clothes companies back.
          and the taxes. every time he sticks his head up, someone should ask about his taxes.

      • Jennifer R

        It’s because carrier and deadbeat donnie have a vested interest in keeping the numbers vague. The state of indiana offered them a deal so they went from keeping 0 of 3000 jobs in the state to keeping about 400. After this meeting that number seems to have climbed to about 600 total jobs staying in the state with a nice tax credit and an offer of immunity to tariffs (which isn’t something that could really be offered because that would *still* be a bill of attainder). And they get a lot of tax credit to still move 2400 jobs away now with the other 600 to go after no one is looking (so six to nine months from now). Also it’s important to realize the jobs that have been kept are much more related to the current governor of Indiana offering to clip their taxes than anything deadbeat donnie could actually do or say.

        • mancityRed6

          the same with the Ford thing. Ford wanted to shift the Lincoln production to Mexico so they could catch up the backlog on the Ford product that is exactly the same (but leather is an option, not standard).
          no jobs lost, but apparently the little suv that everyone and their grandma wants will still be in short supply.

    • Count Awesome

      It’s more of that fake news I’ve been hearing a lot about.

    • OrG

      I’m sure this will be reported on the evening news./s

    • Dessert tray of DOOOOM

      So the corporations have started trolling and manipulating Trump already. Nice.

    • SayItWithWookies

      “Companies are not gonna leave the United States anymore without consequences — not gonna happen.”

      Right — the consequences are that they get a big tax cut. Way to go, tough guy — fucking up the state revenue flow from before day one.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    A rose by any other name would be Rosie.

    • Dessert tray of DOOOOM

      But would she smell like her Tweet?

  • Daisy

    OT: I get to see Moana tomorrow with my friends!

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I’m seeing it tomorrow too! Before school children get out! Tell me all about how it goes. Is guy friend coming?

      • Daisy

        Yes. It’s basically the D&D party, minus our DM.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          Sit next to him, “mistakenly” hold his hand.

          • Daisy

            Last time I did sit next to him, our legs were touching the whole time.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            You need to ask him out.

          • Daisy

            Ugh, I’m currently wondering if he likes our Floridian friend.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            HE CLEARLY LIKES YOU. YOU ARE PARANOID. ASK. HIM. OUT.

          • Gosala

            Cats is right. It can be low pressure, like for coffee — or ice cream.

          • Jennifer R

            HE CLEARLY LIKES YOU. YOU ARE PARANOID. ASK. HIM. OUT.

          • Gosala

            There seems to be an echo in here

          • Jennifer R

            It’s like with wave forms. If you have two waveforms with the same frequency and period you end up with a stronger wave. If everyone uses the exact same wording she might grok it.

          • Slavakitty

            Plow her with that augmented amplitude! Sinusoid her till it hertz!

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            I’m not sure how many more hints the poor guy can give her if he’s shy.

          • starfanglednut

            In here… in here… in here…

          • mancityRed6

            physical contact (even unintentional) can make people uneasy if they don’t want it.
            this is how I make sure to get the armrest on airplanes.
            “touching the whole time”? yeah, there’s something there.

          • Daisy

            I admit, I expected him to shift his leg away, but the only time either of us did was when it became physically uncomfortable to keep our legs in that spot.

          • mancityRed6

            you do what you want, but that is something. try it in public sometime. people pull away like you’re an open flame.

          • Daisy

            I kinda have experience with that. I hate touching strangers, and I sat next to people on the train on my why to and from Bakersfield. They kept out of my space, for the most part, but it was still uncomfortable.

          • OrG

            HE CLEARLY LIKES YOU.YOU ARE PARANOID.ASK.HIM.OUT.

          • starfanglednut

            Oh, fuck the Floridian friend.

          • Bub the Mad Zombie

            Aaaah, to be young again…

          • Gosala

            Never in a million years! (Though it would be nice not to hurt ask the time)

          • Bub the Mad Zombie

            I’d settle for thirty.

          • Gosala

            In 30 years I hope to be peacefully in my grave.

            Sooner, Janus willing

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            To be honest giving relationship advice makes me feel old. Or maybe it’s the joint pain…

          • Daisy

            Hush now, you aren’t even a full year older than me! :)

          • Mary Sandoras

            I chased my husband until he let me catch him. It just works that way sometimes.

  • irishdave3

    Did you hear…The Trump Kids Are Alt Right!

  • DahBoner

    Don’t know about you but I’m feeling a little…
    https://media3.giphy.com/media/102xsFfFAT2uRi/200_d.gif#15

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Baron is just lucky he’s not Baroness if Richard Cohen is very probably telling the truth

  • Sardonicuss
    • Nounverb911

      Jill Stein is just Naderlicious….

    • Jenny

      Aaaand another generation will learn that when the olds are yelling at you that you don’t have a choice you damn kids, you really truly don’t have a choice.

      8 years of relative peace and prosperity leads to these protest votes because they’re all the same, man/homie/bro! How many of your childhood friends, and your younger siblings and their friends will die this time, know it all kid? The answer is a lot of them. A lot.

      It would be nice to at least get the protest votes when both candidates are Milquetoast instead of a capable candidate vs stupid fucking spoiled incompetent greedy idiot. Oh to have such good fortune!

      • Sardonicuss

        This really is like the bad movie I have been forced to watch over and over again since childhood. It just gets worse every cycle. Like watching the water spiral down the toilet.

  • Nounverb911
    • Dessert tray of DOOOOM

      Yeah. We should just give it a chance.

      • Suttree

        It will probably be less painful than having Trump nuke the east and west coasts, because we don’t love him enough.

        • Dessert tray of DOOOOM

          Sometimes the idea of a quick death and then oblivion is appealing.

          • Suttree

            They both beat cirrhosis anyway.

          • emmelemm

            I’m rooting for quick death.

  • Nounverb911
    • Count Awesome

      I’m sure there was no projection or lies in that speech either.

  • Dessert tray of DOOOOM

    My Beat Poetry take on the title: Can melon seed the rose in the sun? Can rose words trump the melon named Sue? Can a world of roses and melon be trumped by the sun?
    Can words make roses from melons?

    • Count Awesome

      Needz moar bongos!

    • msanthropesmr

      Why does the porridge bird lay it’s egg in the air?

      • Dessert tray of DOOOOM

        The words of the rose colored melon soothe the rump of the son. And anon the wisdom of the Web shall make us all fools.

        • msanthropesmr

          Alligator Pear, Crocogator Pair, That’s why they’s so mean.

      • This ride is closed.

        • msanthropesmr

          Somebody broke the president. Looks like the one we got is pre-broken, like Ikea furniture.

  • Nounverb911
    • Count Awesome

      If he gets the job and fails the next chairman will have yooge pants to fill.

      • Dessert tray of DOOOOM

        The person with the biggest FUPA will win in the end.

        • Count Awesome

          You know Christie’s only in it for the doughnuts. I’m surprised he’s not moving into TV so he can raid the craft services table at will

          • Dessert tray of DOOOOM

            I know we’re not supposed to make fun of body types but CNN would have to get those chair and half things for Christie to be able to sit down and not get back up with the chair stuck to his hips.

          • Count Awesome

            Easy solution: Christie can do all of his commentary standing at the craft services table.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            I would do that if I had the chance and I’m diabetic.

    • OrG

      Might need permission from his probation officer.

    • Suttree

      Good. Go fuck THEM up you douchebag. I don’t know who is possibly running next year to fill his stinky, sticky seat in Trenton, but I’ll vote for inanimate carbon rod and it will be a better choice.

    • phoenix00

      When he stops eating?

    • SayItWithWookies

      He’s got the most necessary qualification — a complete lack of shame.

    • Jeez Chris…desperation is such a turn off and you already have so many other things working against you.

  • Truck Fump

    Would you look at the melons on that girl!

  • Gosala

    Totally OT, but Fun Times

    Right now (eastern mythical time) There is a spectacular Old Moon in the New Moon’s Arms with a brilliant Venus not far away to the west.

    • Suttree

      It’s cloudy looking out my window at Manhattan. :(

  • TX Taco Truck Brigade

    OT: Trump and his administration will indeed be one that can sympathize, understand, and fight for regular folk!

    “When George W. Bush assembled his first Cabinet in 2001, news reports dubbed them a team of millionaires, and government watchdogs questioned whether they were out of touch with most Americans’ problems. Combined, that group had an inflation-adjusted net worth of about $250 million — which is roughly one-tenth the wealth of Donald Trump’s nominee for commerce secretary alone.

    Trump is putting together what will be the wealthiest administration in modern American history.His announced nominees for top positions include several multimillionaires, an heir to a family mega-fortune and two Forbes-certified billionaires, one of whose family is worth as much as industrial tycoon Andrew Mellon was when he served as treasury secretary nearly a century ago. Rumored candidates for other positions suggest Trump could add more ultra-rich appointees soon.

    Many of the Trump appointees were born wealthy, attended elite schools and went on to amass even larger fortunes as adults. As a group, they have much more experience funding political candidates than they do running government agencies.”

    http://digbysblog.blogspot.com/2016/12/gotcher-populism-rye-cheeah.html

    • OrG

      Well,that can’t be right.He said he was going to “drain the swamp”.

      • TX Taco Truck Brigade

        It also can’t be right cause his voters were sending a message about being governed by “elites”.

        • Count Awesome

          Wrong kind of “elite”.

      • Dessert tray of DOOOOM

        He drained it right into our front yards.

      • He never said which way the pipe would be going…

        • Suttree

          I was at first guessing towards Flint, but I was wrong.

        • Count Awesome

          Kind of a “dig upwards” deal.

      • He’s only draining the swamp so he can ask the bottom dwellers there what color they want their offices painted.

    • Suttree

      I’ll be taking bets on how many of these people set up charitable foundations with their incredible wealth.

      • Count Awesome

        AOT, K.

        • Suttree

          I mean to help the public!

      • phoenix00

        *crickets*

        • Suttree

          Speaking of, I went to the Met a few years ago with my baby cousin (shut up I know she is 30), and she was convinced that it was a different Koch. I still haven’t broken it to her.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Truly white rich men of the people!

    • “The Gilded Age? Losers. I’m gonna lead the Gold-Plated Age!” – Trump

  • Daisy

    OT: Also, Floridian friend has listened to Hamilton, and we’re the only members of the group who have. This is only part of the reason why she is awesome though.

    • Dessert tray of DOOOOM

      After I heard Randy Rainbows latest, a Hamilton parody about Trump and Pence, I decided should listen to the real musical. The parody was quite catchy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Gxp6gzKvXk

  • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

    “…(I)f you are in the backstage part of
    Wonkette, you can see every Google or Bing! or Ask Jeeves search that
    lands readers on the site, and we can also see your prayers, ALLEGEDLY.”

    I’m pretty sure they can also watch me masturbate.

    • OrG

      RUH-ROH

      • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

        Meh, let ’em have their fun. I’m not shy.

    • Count Awesome

      Damn wonkette spyware.

    • Slavakitty

      Wait! Is Wonkette also Ceiling Cat? That explains a lot.

      • Suttree

        I’d lean closer to basement cat.

    • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

      Well I hope so, otherwise what have I been putting on the show for? Those puppets are not cheap.

    • Suttree

      That’s why I set up my phone and my tablet next to my desktop. Maybe they can turn it into 3D.

    • phoenix00

      Big Brother Is Watching ™

    • Lambsendbeds

      But do they WANT too? Asking for a friend…

      • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

        As a unicorn stallion, I like to think I got something that’s worth seeing.

    • I was wondering why I heard applause the last time…

  • anwisok

    A few minutes ago, Hubbie expressed his pleasure at Trump’s choices so far. After I picked my jaw off the floor, I asked him why. His thinking goes something like this:

    Don the Con is picking people who are fully on board with his, and the hard Right’s, positions. He has a hard Right Congress which largely supports what he wants to do, and whose objectives he, in return, also supports. They get to put up or shut up. If their concept is right, everything is going to improve fantastically in the next four years, and they will have earned the undying love of the populace. If they’re wrong, the next 4 years will be an unmitigated disaster, and they will be forced out of power in disgrace. Either way, it’s all on them. Either they claim victory, or they have to take the blame.

    I find myself unable to refute his logic.

    • Suttree

      If only a larger part of the American electorate where as smart as your hubbie, and didn’t constantly vote against their own best interests.

      • Count Awesome

        Conservatives: the “What me worry?” party.

    • Count Awesome

      “It’s the libtards fault for not stopping us!”

    • Dessert tray of DOOOOM

      Except they will blame everyone but themselves for the failure. Somehow it will still be Obama’s and Crooked Hillary’s faults and the media will be horrible for even pointing out the failures, which were totally not failures, they were supposed to work like that etc.

      • Yeah, the media will be firmly in “it’s not that bad” land for the duration…

        • Count Awesome

          I want out of bizarro world asap.

        • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

          The media will be big on “one time a Democrat did something that was kind of like this, so both sides, heh heh.”

    • mancityRed6

      I just want to point out the HW Bush got elected even after the Iran/Contra mess
      And both Reagan and Nixon got elected twice.
      Sure, neither were no where near as awful, but I’ve got a basket full of eggs that I’m not counting.

      • Count Awesome

        Those eggs don’t look like they’ll ever hatch right now

    • Woo, the whole country will be Kansas!

      • therblig

        buckle your seatbelt dorothy, because america is going bye-bye

      • Shan

        Here, now. Kansas is already taking steps to start repairing Brownback’s idiotic policies.

      • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

        I say the whole country is going to be like that little Mississippi town in the movie In The Heat Of The Night. The South has risen again, and spilled all over everything in a great tidal wave of sticky horror. Ick.

    • OrG

      Nope.Ever heard the term “Thanks,Obama”?

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      That is dream logic. I went to good liberal schools (mostly) and I was under the impression Nixon was a freaking Democrat. The next generation will grow up thinking Obama caused the recession. Not because anyone other than Breitbart an Fox will say it out loud exactly, they’ll just imply it.

      • OrG

        They said Bill Clinton’s policies caused the recession in 2008.Heard it with my own ears.

        • Daisy

          …the fuck? I grew up with a staunch Republican who admitted that the economy in the 90s was great. And that Bush was at least partially responsible for the mess that was 2008.

          • Bub the Mad Zombie

            You can always find individuals who recognize the facts. But the hive mind is a powerful thing.

          • Daisy

            *sigh*

          • OrG

            Depends on how many grains of salt you take rush limbaugh with.Some people think every piece of shit that comes out of his mouth is gospel.And that’s not even considering alex jones’ flying monkeys.

          • therblig

            less a mind and more of a ganglion

          • Sardonicuss

            That is a rare stauch Republican indeed.
            I was thinking about Thanksgiving after that election. The one where the Republican household I was forced to be at, thanked god for our release from the evil Clinton regime.
            When I pointed out that we had a budget surplus for the first time in years and could finaly start paying down the actual debt Reagan had saddled us with (bigger deficits than all predecessors combined..think about it) they just shrugged.
            Clinton had sullied the White House.
            I finally just sighed and said: You know, you are right. How much peace and prosperity can one nation stand anyway?

          • BosGrl

            They will now learn the real meaning of “sully”.

          • OrG

            I hope you’re right.I’m not so sure.

          • georgiaburning

            I remember when conservative Republicans said Rockefeller was unfit to be president because he had been -shudder- divorced. More recently, Bill Clinton had to withdraw Cabinet appointments because they had undocumented immigrant nannies. Now in 2016 they give us Trump. We’re going to see some third-world style looting the country.

    • Bub the Mad Zombie

      The only way this would have even a tinker’s chance of working would be if the Dems said, “okay, put up or shut up” and voted all administration bills through virtually unanimously, which will never happen. As it is, they will always blame Democratic “obstructionism” for being why the entire country has not turned into the Big Rock Candy Mountain. They are past masters at denying responsibility, shifting blame and just plain lying – and their base always eats that shit up.

      • Count Awesome

        I was looking very forward to Big Rock Candy Mountain.

        • Bub the Mad Zombie

          Me too. The little streams of alcohol trickling down the rocks especially.

    • OrG

      If USAmericans were that perceptive,trump wouldn’t be anywhere close to the White House.

      • Bub the Mad Zombie

        God damn the fact that I have but one upfist to give.

    • They will never take the blame. It’s the thing they do best. In fact, we were talking about this very thing on the boat tonight. If things go down the shitter it will be…

      All together now…

      OBAMA’S FAULT

    • Sardonicuss

      I tried to console myself with the “dog caught the car” narrative as well a few weeks back.
      The problem is, he is surrounding himself with such and odious group of demons….hell is pretty much empty. They will use the inevitable terror attack to justify their totalitarian moves, because evil never really sees itself as evil, it sees itself as righteous.
      Half of them, including Pence are convinced God himself through divine providence placed them behind the levers of power.
      To them, this is all just a big video game and it all resets after the blazing end.
      If we do survive their colossal ineptitude with any sort of semblance of civilization intact: They will blame it all on the black guy. Hell…They were blaming Clinton for 9/11 as late as 2012.

      • Count Awesome

        Hip hip hooray. The ninth level of hell is now the oval office!

        • yyyaz

          And take it to Goldman Sachs that there will be prayer circles there.

    • BosGrl

      Yes but real people are going to suffer mightily if these people have their way. I am waiting for HHS to cut funding to the state program that keeps my disabled daughter in a school that is offering her her only real chance at an education. I am terrified.

      • Shan

        Exactly. So many people talk about it as though it’s purely theoretical. I’m not saying that’s what Pink is doing, just pointing out that there are millions of people who have a lot more to lose than political pride.

      • OrG

        They WILL suffer.They will NOT blame republicans. *sigh*

      • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

        Call your representative and your senators, today and every day until you have some assurance that the Republicans aren’t going to get away with it. Your daughter is one of tens of millions of Americans who will be devastated if the Ryan/McConnell/Donald crew have their way.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I thought something similar once: “After 8 years of W, even Republicans have to realize that everything they believe — every favored policy, every so-called principle, every war-boner — is not only misguided but dangerous and dumb. They have to grow up and act like adults now.”

      The GOP response? McCain/Palin.

    • WeaselPoo

      Hubbie’s Logic assumes
      a) Trump supporters will recognize who is actually to blame for the “unmitigated disaster”
      b) That they will actually recognize and unmitigated disaster
      c) That they will ADMIT to themselves that they are fucktards and make amend
      d) That the mass media will actually inform, prove and thus persuade Trump voters that Trump is to blame for the “unmitigated disaster”(and by inference, Trump supporters also liable)
      e) That there will a sufficiently robust POLITICAL STRUCTURE left to demonstrate Trump’s awfulness, articulate it, broadcast it, convince people of it and then actually have the legal and political machinery still in place to ensure Trump and his gang can be evicted from power with non-violent, binding and executable authority

      Logic tells me that the fact that Trump got elected in the first place suggests that there’s no reason to assume an “unmitigated disaster” of a term will register with any Trump supporter any more than his obvious political ignorance, stupidity, greed, pettiness, vanity, tax-dodging, misogyny, pussy-grabbing, lying and persistently money losing ‘business acumen’ that made no difference in the recent past, will make no difference to Trump support in the 2020 election.

      Instead, opposition has to be much larger and ABLE to VOTE, AND, for a Presidential candidate and congressional candidates that aren’t ‘NOT TRUMP’ by virtue of say, less pussy grabbing or not quite so stupid.

      By Hubbie’s logic, John Kerry was president 2004-2008.

      • anwisok

        Aaaaaaaand that’s the reply I was waiting for. Sometimes, when logic and the real world collide, there is no guarantee that logic will emerge victorious.

    • georgiaburning

      Yes, the logic is good. However, if most of the people in the red states followed logic and voted their best interests, Trump would’ve been fighting it out with Gary, Jill and the rest of them for five percent of the vote.

  • In recognition of how good and sensitive everybody is being I call for a hearty round of applause…whoops…

  • tehbaddr
  • phoenix00

    … and yet I still prefer melon bread over melon Trump

  • yyyaz

    And in a related development of dumfuckery:

    The Texas health department finalized rules this week that will require fetal tissue to be cremated or buried, no matter the stage of development. The new regulations, which are scheduled to take effect on December 19, could dramatically increase the cost of an abortion for women without adding any clear public health or safety benefits.

    • phoenix00

      Wasn’t there a Supreme Court decision that called this unconstitutional? Or does Texas still not give any fucks whatsoever?

      • yyyaz

        Maybe this is what you’re thinking of?

        That wasn’t the case for a similar law in Indiana
        signed by Vice President-elect Mike Pence earlier this year. That law,
        which was later blocked by a judge, did apply to miscarriages, and was
        so poorly written that it could have technically required women to
        cremate or bury their menstrual blood. (The law, which also included a
        ban on abortions based on the fetus’s race, sex, or “disability,” was blocked because it unconstitutionally restricted a woman’s choices in seeking abortion.)>

        • phoenix00

          Something like that, but more along the lines of the personhood re-definitions that Ted Cruz and etc have been taking stabs at.

    • Guess we’re diggin’ some holes behind the ol’ Abortionplex. Or a big bonfire.

      • yyyaz

        The way I’m reading the law is that women will have to pay a licensed funerary services provider to perform the burial or cremation.

        • Count Awesome

          It’s just a conspiracy initiated by the Undertakers and Cremators Association of America to line their pockets.

    • Ali | Cat of the Resistance

      Fucking god damn fuck.

    • Shan

      Did they even attempt to give any sort of “health department” justification for it?

      • yyyaz

        The Center for Reproductive Rights had this to say:

        The Center notes that the only new language DSHS has added in response to
        skepticism over whether these regulations are necessary to protect health and safety includes the claim that the protocols will “continue to be limited to methods that prevent the spread of disease” – thereby implying that
        existing methods are already effective.

        So the short answer appears to be “no.” It’s just another Texass lege “fuck you” to the law of the land.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
    • Count Awesome

      Must be to make sure that the second coming of Jeebus is going to be born in Texas.

      • yyyaz

        Don’t know about jeebus, but Jesus is No. 19 most-popular boy’s name in Texass, so take your pick.

    • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

      I’m amazed they will go to such lengths to prevent abortions. Why don’t they just try to understand why the women are having abortions and then fix the problem by addressing their anxieties.

  • From the people who brought you, “How is babby formed”…the New Melon Trump™!

  • Meanwhile, in the Melonville elections:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66hLNY-D13A

    • Bub the Mad Zombie

      I voted for Mayor Tommy Shanks.

    • Incoming Ham

      Rob Ford, is that you?

  • Shan
    • I have a feeling that site is going to be very, very busy over the coming years…

    • Vecchiojohn

      In fairness, I felt the same way after I learned there would be no FEMA camps.

      • Count Awesome

        I was looking forward to the FEMA camps because I heard they are like Club Med this time of year

    • yyyaz

      Oohhh, better than kitteh pix. The freud is very schaden over there.

      • Shan

        Even Joe Walsh is clutching his pearls. Or rubbing his barrel, I’m not sure.

        • yyyaz

          Um, thanks? OTOH, there’s Johnny Cash flipping a world-class bird below. I’d like to send that Man in Black to pay a little visit to deadbeat Joe.

    • Suttree

      Thank you Shan!

      • Shan

        Welcome! I snurched that off my cousin’s feed. He lives in New York. Do you know him?

        • Suttree

          Of course! He is a friend of my cousin’s girlfriend’s aunt’s second cousin’s brother’s sister in-law. Duh.

          • Shan

            Tell her to tell him I said hi!

          • Shan

            But, seriously. This is him, and I’m giving him another shameless plug because he’s a cool dude.

            CLICK ON HIS STUFF PEOPLE

            http://flavorwire.com/author/jason605

          • Suttree

            Bookmarked

          • cynmac will never surrender

            Bookmarked to a folder I call “Fucked Up Shit”.

    • AntiDerpomeme

      Wow.

    • boyblue123

      The tweet about the Vet living off of $700 a month is a little too sad to have schadenfraude over

      • Shan

        I agree. I still can’t wrap my head around how so many people can say “HAHAHA! You voted for this piece of shit and now you deserve whatever you get!”

    • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

      Is it updated everyday?

      • Shan

        I don’t know. I got the link from my cousin; I don’t do Tumblr.

    • Anita Ledford

      nom nom nom it is!

  • Husband Of Mrs God

    Which version of Mrs. Robinson — Simon and Garfunkel, or the LEMONheads?
    “Laugh about it, shout about it, when you’ve got to choose, any way you look at it you ____.” Enduring classic. At the time, the older kids (I was 12) had to sweat that both parties were sending them to war. And I was oblivious to the whole thing.

    • Mayor_Mayor_Mayor

      Lemonheadss version, of course.

      • cynmac will never surrender

        Evan Dando FTW!

        • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

          He was cute back in the day.

      • Husband Of Mrs God

        It grew on me, as I came to appreciate they reset the folk song to a surf tune.
        Surf’s up!

  • Absolutely Barron should be OFF LIMITS. I have yet to see a picture of him with anything near a smile on his face. On the other hand, Melanoma and daughter Charmin Butt* and Dickwad 1 and Dickwad 2 should be prime targets.

    *Please Daddy, don’t squeeze the Charmin.

    • Incoming Ham

      Agreed. Leave Barron out of this swamp.

    • Anita Ledford

      Don’t call them that you sick twisted person! It’s Ouday, Qusay and Ivanta to you.;-)

  • So, did Hillary just run a “don’t vote for stupid” campaign, and did ‘murricans thing they were voting for the worst dressed sentient being in the known universe?

  • Incoming Ham

    Honestly, if Melania could stop making that squinting “blue steel” patented face it would be easier to take her seriously.

    • 3FingerPete

      That would require easing the springs. We’ll get a technician right out.

      • yyyaz

        Keep in mind that backing off the springs may reduce the friction needed to schlob the tiny orange knob.

    • cynmac will never surrender

      I can’t look at her without seeing the nekkid pictures. SAD.

  • Count Awesome

    OT: how many days into Trump’s presidency until he threatens to sue Congress or the Supreme Court?

  • azeyote

    the pouty little rich fucks always want to sue – sue this middle finger ya fuckwads –

  • WILL YOU STOP GIVING HIM ATTENTION!!!
    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/804478942862188544

  • proudgrampa

    Really. Leave the fuckin’ kid alone…

  • Daisy

    Also, anyone who is harassing the kid is gross. It’s not his fault his dad’s an asshole AND a public figure.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Agreed.

    • cynmac will never surrender

      I watched the video and it wasn’t harrassing IMHO. People who had made a big deal about Barron’s discomfort on election night were the real bullies and the video pointed that out.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I think a concerned observation was being made, and someone took it the wrong way, because she has a lot to feel guilty about. Like her totally phony academic claims. Her true immigration status.

        • cynmac will never surrender

          It does make sense that if he is in a special program, the MELON! wouldn’t want to pull him out. Also too, it is probably easier to hid his discomfort in NYC in that bubble, than it would be in DC.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    OT I swear to god if I never see another gray stucco box they call houses in California it will be far too soon.

    • Only if you aren’t passing through Arizona, where they have pink stucco boxes.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_2lGkEU4Xs

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        The pink is objectively better.

        • idiotboy

          No.

      • cynmac will never surrender

        We have a few of these houses in my part of town and they look out of place in a neighborhood full of Craftsman style homes.

      • yyyaz

        Lol. Every shade of day-glo ever mixed, if you venture off the interstate.

    • georgiaburning

      Well, after a good 5.5 or higher shaker, pretty brick buildings look like Tokyo after Godzilla. Arizona, Florida, and Texas have no such excuse, though.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I understand the need for stucco, but the grey boxes with a roof are not architectural like Spanish style homes, aren’t functional and every single one uses the same stepford shade of grey. The. Exact. Same. Shade.

        • georgiaburning

          Yes, that is just plain ugly.

  • Blacktop Cadence

    OT: Jerb interview with the district next Thursday for a teacher’s aid job.

    They’re gonna hire a transes and not even know it. Mwahahaha.

    • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

      XD Do it to it, Honey.

    • Shan

      Yaaay! I hope you get it!

      My trans friend just got a job after SO many months of being rejected. She just started working the reception desk at a local Planet Fitness, and I’m giving the company name because she says their policies are super-inclusive.

  • Gosala

    Shalom, chaverim
    .
    https://youtu.be/KRZaop5ZoJA

  • Count Awesome

    OT: The jist of Trump’s inaugural address: “Citizens of America, assume the position!”
    Trumpanzee response: “AMURICA, FUCK YEAH!!!”

    • georgiaburning

      “Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.” H. L. Mencken

      • Count Awesome

        Lube must be optional then

      • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

        No. Not that at all.

        • georgiaburning

          Mencken really didn’t like democracy. I do, but I’m concerned that I’m in a minority.

          • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

            I know. The only people who don’t like real democracy are people think they’re always right and believe they know what’s best for everyone.

    • Sardonicuss

      By the inauguration, Drumph will have held at least 10 Bund rallies and enthralled millions of robots with his stunning oratory.
      I will be looking for a lot of ..dramatic hand gestures and calls for America’s “Greatness” to return at last!
      At least this time, as we hurdle around barrels of burning oil, toasting our rats: the replays won’t have to be sub titled.

  • cynmac will never surrender

    OT – 72000 donations have been made to PP in Pence’s name!
    https://twitter.com/mic/status/804481686213980160

    • yyyaz

      Awesomesauce.

    • msanthropesmr

      The Anthropes Made One Tuesday.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    Mike Pence just implied Obama isn’t American. “We’re going to replace Obamacare with American solutions!” is a more like a whisper than a dog whistle.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      I heard that. Fuck him. And if it was a Freudian slip, so much the worse.

    • Count Awesome

      Obamacare is just not hateful enough for Racist Bannon.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      A true “American Solution”, I suppose, is just to let those with preexisting conditions die in the streets, in order to maintain the profitability of a bunch of parasites running health insurance companies.

    • OrG

      I’m not watching,but that sounds pretty blatant to me.

    • Begin Anew Day

      Donnie isn’t going to like hearing this. Donnie’s version is thus: “We’re going to replace Obamacare with FINAL American Solutions!”

    • ltmcdies

      so Pence is birther too…not much of a surprise really.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    “God-given rights”?!?! Soldiers freaking died for the Constitution to come into existence and you credit God??? How exactly are you a military supporter?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      It’s like the “miracle” of the plane crash in the Hudson that was not miraculous at all…due to planning, preparation, and training, a disaster was dealt with in a calm, professional manner and no lives were lost. There was no divine intervention needed at all. Sully had trained and planned training for the possibility, and the training paid off. It’s that fucking simple.

      I hate the entire “miracle” meme. It plays to barbarous superstition that I cannot abide.

      • sw19womble

        To be fair, I’m pretty certain Trump believes in miracles now. Or maybe just Putin.

      • Bub the Mad Zombie

        There was nothing in that “miracle’ that was miraculous at all. The day an airplane loses power in similar circumstances flying out of an airport in a mountainous region, with absolutely NO PLACE to land safely, and a giant, glowing hand plucks it from the sky and places it safely in a tiny clearing is the day I start believing in miracles.

      • Dazza

        I whole-heartedly agree. Let us give due credit for training and planning for all professionals. God didn’t save the bushfire near my house from consuming a whole suburb, the brave, highly trained Firies did (Firies = firefighters, in American).

      • Courser

        All of that training, preparation, years of experience, and a pinch of good luck, too.

      • Begin Anew Day

        May Crom preserve us from superstition!

        ;>)

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Praise God! It’s way easier than thinking.

  • 3FingerPete

    Speaking of goons, what role will Trump’s official goon play in the administration? I can’t imagine the Secret Service is going to be happy taking orders from that guy. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c491ad29326be8c4945e228004945aadfda4c079a00c3d6e8641d39977eee22e.jpg

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    OH NO FUCK NO NOT THAT SONG

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      They seriously used that song. I’m sorry. We’ll have a funeral in the morning.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I’m not watching the shitshow. What song?

      • yyyaz

        ^^^^^I’m with him^^^^^What got crucified?

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        I’m proud to be an American because I know I’m fucked.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          I was afraid it was that one. I loathe that song with every fiber of my being.

          • cynmac will never surrender

            OMFG did they ever play the shyt out of that song during Desert Storm, or what.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            It was quite popular at change of command ceremonies when I was in the Army in the 80’s. I developed my loathing for it then.

        • yyyaz

          Lee fucking Greenwood’s shit can be crucified every chance there is from now until forever.

    • Courser

      I didn’t know it was possible to hate that song more. Now it’s like an insult of the highest order.

  • Raan

    Tale as old as time
    Song as old as rhyme
    Melon and the Beast

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    I shouldn’t be watching this Trump rally because I’ll probably break commenting rules but I can’t help it, I’ve already turned it here.

    • Courser

      Nightwatch is back tonight! :::Happy Dance::: one tiny bright spot in an otherwise dystopian universe.

      …well, that’s if you like watching paramedics scraping people off the streets of ‘Nawlins punctuated by cops and firefighters doing their thing.

  • Duke

    Every day is another disgusting episode.

    • Courser

      My outrage meter broke a while back but every day there’s a new level of terror revealed.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    DJT at his rally about the late arrivals: “Let’s blame them for being late.”

    But they have jobs and maybe have to work or have families and fight traffic. The fucker is actually going after his own people.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      He has already dropped several dog whistles and he’s talking about “uniting”. Did you know you can angrily eat popcorn? Because I just discovered that.

      • Courser

        I’ve cracked teeth eating popcorn angrily. Piece of advice – don’t eat popcorn angrily (or at all, really) if you don’t have good dental insurance.

        • Shan

          How can one eat popcorn angrily? That’s like…angrily petting a baby bunny.

          • Courser

            In my case, it’s endlessly shoving handfuls of it in my face as fast as possible. It’s not pretty.

    • sw19womble

      Sociopaths gotta sociopath

      • cynmac will never surrender

        American Psycho Libelz!1!11!

    • cynmac will never surrender

      I can’t believe you guys are actually watching that bullshit. I’ve been reading about what his Gang of Fools is planning to do and I’m pissed off.

    • Begin Anew Day

      He targeted them long ago. Trump U. was just a warm up.

  • btwbfdimho

    Two fake news in one sentence:

    -Donna Rose cannot have a son,
    -Trump doesn’t sell melons but lemons.

  • boyblue123

    Drumpf is out doing rallies even though he’s about one month behind in his security briefings…this will end well

    • Thiazin Red

      But he has been calling leaders and/or dictators and telling them how amazing they are and how he can’t wait to do whatever they want.

      • Shan

        *shudder*

  • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

    So, the spin by Trump is that he didn’t promise that he would bring job BACK during his campaign. He just promised that no more would LEAVE.
    http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/trump-says-he-never-really-meant-to-promise-that-carrier-jobs-would-return/ar-AAl1gwe?ocid=spartandhp

    • boyblue123

      some jobs already left for Mexico AND Indiana had to pay $7M to keep the remaining jobs.

      Bigly winning

    • Shan

      Of course. And he never promised not to “keep” them by handing over extortion money in the form of taxpayer dollars.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    DJT: “Our national community.”

    “Unsere nationale Gemeinschaft.”

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    https://twitter.com/GeorgeTakei/status/803592091163119616 Thank you, George Takei for giving gravity and thoughtfulness to a situation where I forgot what those were.

    • yyyaz

      I’d take a bullet for him.

      • sw19womble

        Phaser Libels!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I’d take an artillery barrage for him.

  • merl1

    I thought her name was Melanoma.

    • Sardonicuss

      Melancholia

      • Msgr_Moment

        Melanin. Orange by marriage.

  • boyblue123

    Do the people chanting “Drain the Swamp” at Drumpf’s rallies realize he has hired his Goldman Sachs buddies to run the economic side of the show

    • Villago Delenda Est

      He’s invited the Swamp Thing to deal with the swamp, basically.

    • sw19womble

      They “google” the news they want to hear, so they probably found a couple of articles that explained this was completely different from the Hillary Goldman Sachs thing.

    • Lefty Wright

      They don’t care. Mainly because they just like to repeat chants they don’t understand. If someone on stage started saying “Melon Trump” repeatedly, they would join in.

      • boyblue123

        ah, the life of a lemming

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Yeah, but the lemming thing was staged — these assholes are real.

      • Count Awesome

        “Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na Leader! Leader!”
        –Homer Simpson

        • Villago Delenda Est

          “The Leader is good, the Leader is great, I surrender my will, as of this date.”

          • Count Awesome

            That’s too hard for a Trumpanzee.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    Donnie just said he hired businessmen because he said “he’d get killers”. When, exactly? Um also that hand raising thing at a political rally is freakishly close to a Nazi salute.

    • cynmac will never surrender

      Are they doing that again? What a bunch of marons.

    • TJ Barke

      Well, his administration will kill a lot of Americans…

    • sw19womble

      He’s going to hire Hillary?

    • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

      Have you seen the little fist he does sometimes?

  • Suttree

    So totally OT: I am working on a weekend plan to hang out with my father, two of my cousins, and my sweetie Lizzie. My dad is coming from the north to see me for my birthday. A bit early but who cares.

    • idiotboy

      That makes me feel good. Thank you.

      • Suttree

        I love my family and I don’t get to see them enough.

    • Nounverb911

      Didn’t you say you were near Manhattan earlier, make sure you go to Katz’s Deli.

      https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2016-11-14/12-rules-for-not-getting-in-trouble-at-katz-s-deli-nyc

      • Suttree

        I’m close across the Hudson wise. I just generally wind up in Brooklyn. I’ll be meeting my father at Grand Central.

    • Thiazin Red

      If you go to Manhattan, Basso 56 is my favorite Italian place in the city.

      • Suttree

        Menu looks good, and you can never beat house made pasta.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Calling them fair game makes it seem like they aren’t all filled with maggots and pustuley, so maybe that’s not the phrase you’re looking for?…

  • sw19womble

    Thursday Night Football is streaming free on Twitter, so I’ll catch up with this rally when future civilisations include it in the updated bumper omnibus version of The Nazis – A Warning From History

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iw9newgsEyU

    • Sardonicuss

      Driftglass has done many great posts pointing at the same theme. It makes an old atheist wonder if man really does have any control over his own destiny…or if history is just series of repeating cycles of mis-steps. How can the descriptions of his rise to power so closely mimic this?
      Despite the multitude of people screaming and pointing to the past?http://driftglass.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2016-11-25T13:30:00-06:00&max-results=10&start=10&by-date=false

      You just have to keep thinking about what Ghandi said..(at least he said it in that movie.who knows if it is real)
      “Whenever I despair, I remember that the way of truth and love has always won. There may be tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they may seem invincible, but in the end, they always fail. Think of it: always.”

  • Begin Anew Day

    My money is on Ivanka outfoxing Donnie and her brothers and ending up with the whole family treasure tucked up in her own personal Fort Knox.

    Wouldn’t it serve Donnie right to learn every stereotyped and negative thing he has ever said about women, in general, turned out to be true for his daughter in particular?

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    If any third party voter in a swing state thinks it wasn’t their fault I would like to take a moment and remind everyone this was a thing: http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/apps-trade-votes-clinton-swing-states/

  • Jamoche

    OT adorableness – cool as it is to see then-and-now pics of cities, this photographer went one better – he tracked down the people in his “then” shots and convinced them to recreate their poses 40-odd years later:
    http://www.mymodernmet.com/profiles/blogs/chris-porsz-reunion?context=featured

    • Thiazin Red

      I love that the lady in #3 has a similar outfit to throw on for the picture. If it works for you keep wearing it.

    • Shan

      This is so sweet!

    • shaar dula

      I love people photography. this is so cool.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    DJT: OH FUCK NO NOT YOU CAN’T GET WHAT YOU WANT AGAIN!

  • TheGrandWaz00
    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I was shouting at the TV and FMC asked me if I was sure I should be watching it and I said no.

    • Sardonicuss

      You there commenting with an appropriate gif on a mommy blog!!
      Up against the wall!!

      • Msgr_Moment

        Who let all this riffraff into the room?

    • Msgr_Moment

      It’s over? Good. Safe to return to MSNBC.

      • Apple Scruff

        I just flipped on Rachel Maddow and she only showed a minute of it and I nearly had a stroke.

    • HogeyeGrex

      The hammers are out of the sack now,

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    OT I am really loving Chris Hayes right now.

  • Nounverb911

    Megyn “Santa Claus is White” Kelly to go ballistically nuts in 3…2…1…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ac3d04e1d6b5fc40bc66e66fe64ed917f001ce8212917cc2259d2a98ec13a611.png

  • Nounverb911

    Chris Cillizza describes trump’s speech in one gif

    https://twitter.com/TheFix/status/804497949099229184

    • Thiazin Red

      I don’t think that means what he thinks it means.

      • Shan

        Yeah, I’m a bit confused as well. Unless the gif means Trump was actually too stupid to figure out how to use a microphone.

        • “Microphone? That’s the thing you sniff into, right?”

          • Shan

            You made me snort.

          • I try. By the way, how did the freezer to slow cooker recipe thingies work out?

          • Shan

            Results varied, and I haven’t done all of them yet. I was mistaken in thinking that I could deal with having one of them every day. Ugh.

          • I was wondering about that one, too, but I’m still going toto give them a trylittle, I think…

    • yyyaz

      Missed it by only 10 parsecs.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Was there such a thing as a Cincinnati Steamer before tonight?

    • Apple Scruff

      Cillizza clearly has no clue what a mic drop is.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Cillizza clearly has no clue

        FIFY

  • Alan

    I assume I can still say all the nasty horrible things I want to about the fuhrer.

    • Shan

      Yes, please.

      • Alan

        Hmmm…. Where to start?

    • Husband Of Mrs God

      There used to be a numbered Internet Rule against likening some asshole to Hitler. That card has burned.

      • Msgr_Moment

        34’s the only one I’m my friend is acquainted with.

        • Husband Of Mrs God

          In that case, #34 is “Whatsoever ye seek, there be porne of it.”
          Seriously, if your friend remembers 34, I think it’s the Hitler rule.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Stross’ Rule 34 is an interesting murder mystery. Half way through the book, it’s revealed who exactly the victims of the gruesome murders are. At this point you’re saying “I don’t have a problem with this.”

      • zerosumgame0005

        when the guy keep Mien Kampf by his bed Godwin has started turning in his grave at a approaching light speed and soon will open a time warp to the end of the universe…

        • Husband Of Mrs God

          Thanks for the heads up. Sounds about right.

      • Saxo the Grammarian

        The only rule that matters is Rule #5.

        http://www.velominati.com/the-rules/

        Also, this:

        https://youtu.be/unkIVvjZc9Y

    • Doug Langley

      Until Trump gets a hankering to shutting down all media sources that publish unflattering stuff about him.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Sheepshagger

      “Fascism- nearly as bad as Trump”

    • Husband Of Mrs God
    • yyyaz

      I picked up this nugget: Churchill addressing the House of Commons in 1935 regarding efforts to prop up an independent Austria.

      When the situation was manageable it was neglected, and now that it is
      thoroughly out of hand we apply too late the remedies which then might
      have effected a cure. There is nothing new in the story. It is as old as
      the sibylline books. It falls into that long, dismal catalogue of the
      fruitlessness of experience and the confirmed unteachability of mankind.

  • boyblue123

    Did anyone see this yet? Trump’s intelligence landing team has just one person total for briefings from 16 different spy agencies

    https://twitter.com/AliWatkins/status/804356161038385153

    • shaar dula

      nice. what can go wrong?

      • Msgr_Moment

        “FillInNameHere Determined To Strike in US”

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      It seems like an odd time to put issues like cybersecurity and international terrorism on the back burner

      “How the fuck do you think we got elected in the first place?”

      – Trump team

      • boyblue123

        ignorance FTW….apparently

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        does getting your BFF to violate our country’s cybersecurity count as back burner?

    • Msgr_Moment

      Who could have guessed that a candidate who revels in his willful ignorance would think “intelligence” is a dirty word?

    • Thiazin Red

      Hey, he can’t be reading or learning stuff, hes got a bunch of rallies to do. Besides he can just ask Putin and Alex Jones if he needs to know something.

      (Man, I wish that was sarcastic)

      • yyyaz

        So do we.
        — Every thinking person on the planet

  • bookish

    Thanks to the poster below who linked to driftglass.blogspot.com
    This is an exerpt from one of the essays.

    From the NYT:

    Mr. Trump relies on social media to spread his views. This is convenient because there’s no need to respond to questions about his fabrications. That makes it imperative that other forms of media challenge him.

    Instead, as Mr. Trump stays at the top of the Republican field, it’s become a full-time job just running down falsehoods like the phony crime statistics he tweeted, which came from a white supremacist group.

    Yet Mr. Trump is regularly rewarded with free TV time, where he talks right over anyone challenging him, and doubles down when called out on his lies.

    This isn’t about shutting off Mr. Trump’s bullhorn. His right to spew nonsense is protected by the Constitution, but the public doesn’t need to swallow it. History teaches that failing to hold a demagogue to account is a dangerous act. It’s no easy task for journalists to interrupt Mr. Trump with the facts, but it’s an important one.
    But the problem is not Trump. The problem is the GOP base — those millions of American bigots and imbeciles which the Right has spent many years and billions of dollars to flatter and pander and shape into an electoral battering ram which is now so reliably paranoid, angry, Dunning-Kruger ignorant and programmable that they can be told what to think, what to buy and who to vote for by Rush Limbaugh, Roger Ailes or Donald Trump.

    The problem is the GOP base — America’s very own, home-grown army of rage-drunk, half-mad chumps who are so fucked-in-the-head they can be profitably harvested by the same liars telling the same lies over and over again endlessly. Which is why the problem of American Conservatism’s bold and metastasizing fascism — which has been decades in the making — will not begin to be solved tomorrow.

    Or the next day.

    Or the next.

    • Sardonicuss

      Here here NYT!
      Now tell me again about those FBI indictments for Hillary…

      • Thiazin Red

        Well you see, both sides

    • Msgr_Moment

      Abbreviated form: “Go home, America. You’re drunk.”

      • Rick Hill

        Ooops! the folks you voted for have legally taken your home and you owe them your salary for the next twenty years

        • yyyaz

          No Bankruptcy Court relief, no healthcare, no Social Security. We have “workhouses” if you would prefer that alternative.

    • cat cafe

      That is so well put. Thanks for taking the time to quote the whole article.

      • anwisok

        *wince*

    • shaar dula

      I think this is an artifact of the 2 party system. Which country does not have loons? In a lot of places they get sidelined most of the times, because they are good alternatives for common folk in the middle.
      But in a 2 party system if you want conservative foreign policy or economics, these guys come for free. no choice.

      • In this particular 2 party system, in this particular election, if you want actual conservative foreign policy or economic policy, you woulda went Hillz.
        Did NO one read the GOP platform this year at all?

        • HogeyeGrex

          SNL had a sketch that said something like “It’s your choice, America. You can have the candidate standing up for classic conservative values… or you can have Donald Trump.”

          Not entirely true, but yeah.

          • Well, it sort of is true. What Trump proposed was actual radical change- just harder to the right than say, a lefty like me would prefer radical change.
            He said it with his mouth. The GOP printed it in their platform. There was nary an actual conservative point to it, at all, except for keeping the ebil gays down and wiminz shouldna haz bortions.
            The rest of it was quite radical to the right.
            Hillary on the other hand offered a left leaning, but in the sensible incremental approach that history teaches us is the only way actual true change can be done while having a chance to linger.
            In comparison to the radicalized right platform of the GOP this year, the very liberal DNC platform was really the more conservative. Just…left ward so.

          • HogeyeGrex

            No argument there. They are radicals. That can’t be repeated enough. Just that Hillz did have some policy platforms that were decidedly liberal, if incremental.

      • HogeyeGrex

        We didn’t used to let the loonies drive the bus. We’ve had long stretches of two party politics where reason and compromise functioned as they should. This is different. This is a decades long cultivation and expansion of willful ignorance, which finally realized, “Hey. You need us, motherfucker!” and after the better part of a century of a wink and a nod, took over the party. They had the wolf by the ears, and let go.

  • TundraGrifter

    Here’s a much more important question: Why did Rosie name her daughter after a hotel?

    For the same reason there are children named Cutty Sark and Hennessy?

    • zerosumgame0005

      Dakota is a hotel?

      • HogeyeGrex

        I thought it was a co-op building.

        • yyyaz

          It was a hotel before going condo/co-op.

      • TundraGrifter

        Well, I believe it used to be. I guess today it is a high-end coop (or condo).

        • zerosumgame0005

          I was thinking the name came from the state which was named from the Native American word, I really doubt a random hotel or condo complex was the inspiration…

          • TundraGrifter

            #seriously?

          • zerosumgame0005

            why yes, why do you think it came from a hotel?

  • idiotboy

    I get cast out of the pack for saying nice things or mean things. Disqus or wonkette. WTF are the rules? Please post asap. From a very stupid person.
    Thanks,
    Very Stoopid Person

    • Jonny On Maui

      There are no rules…

      • HogeyeGrex

        “This is true for moderators as well. Enjoy your banhammering.”

        • Jonny On Maui

          I didn’t say there were no consequences… :-)

    • zerosumgame0005

      as long as you hide your history how do we tell?

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      The first rule of Wonkette is, never talk about Wonkette. Duh!

  • Sardonicuss
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      After some back and forth and a discussion and joke, it again came back to this issue. “My point is this: Cable news in general, and CNN in particular, should not be held responsible for the fact that Donald Trump said yes to those interviews,” Zucker said.

      Again the heckling started.

      “It’s not the interviews! This is, you know what, this is—”

      “You showed empty podiums!”

      “You showed hour upon hour of unfiltered, unscrutinized footage of Trump. It’s not about the interviews.”

      Again, more back and forth. “These other candidates were asked to come on and declined.”

      “That’s not true! That’s not true!” chanted (other) people in the back corner.

      Oh, for fuck’s sake.

      • bookish

        Meanwhile, were stuck with Cheeto Jesus and the rape of our republic.

      • Sardonicuss

        God to have been there….and lobbed things at their heads…

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          melons…

      • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

        The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
        defines the marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation as “a
        bunch of mindless jerks who’ll be the first against the wall when the revolution
        comes,”

        This is about all I can say, RE: Journalism in the US of A today.

        • Curiously, an edition of the Encyclopedia Galactica which conveniently fell through a rift in the time-space continuum from 1000 years in the future describes the Marketing Department of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation as:

          “A bunch of mindless jerks who were the first against the wall when the revolution came.”

          • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

            I love you, you know that? :D

          • I love you m’dear :snuggles:

      • Prove it, Zux. Refuse to cover his “rallies”

    • Jamoche

      “So, Jeff, how good was Donald Trump for CNN?”

      Y’know how people like to quip that bad politicians are good for late-night comedians? Colbert last night in his confession booth said something to the effect of “every time someone says ‘as a comedian, admit it, you really appreciate having Trump providing all this materiel’ I want to punch them in the face”.

  • sw19womble

    OT WONK BY-ELECTION SPECIAL – so this is how other countries organise a “protest vote”….
    By-election in Richmond Park (posh part of London), forced by the Conservative MP resigning over Heathrow Airport expansion, and standing again as an Independent (although fair play to him for doing so, as he didn’t technically have to – he could have just resigned the party whip).
    Goldsmith/Conservatives received 34,400 votes (a majority of 23,000) last year.

    The Green Party (3,548 votes in 2015 election) opted to not put forward a candidate this time around, and actively threw their support behind the Liberal Democrats (11,389 votes last year) in an attempt to unseat the Conservatives.
    Labour still put a candidate forward (7,296 votes last year), but their support evaporated bigly….
    Results just in:
    Goldsmith (Independent Conservative) 18,638
    Olney (Liberal Democrat) 20,500
    Wolner (Labour) 1,515
    (No Green Candidate)
    (A few hundred votes cast for minor parties along with 184 for the mighty Monster Raving Loony Party)

    That’s a swing of a metric fuckton (will give splits later, whether you bastards like it or not)

    Maybe Jill Stein could take some lessons from the UK Greens on how to cooperate with other political parties.
    Also, shame on the Labour Party – although their voters did the right thing.

    Congrats to the LibDem candidate and new MP for Richmond Park, Sarah Olney.

    • sw19womble

      Turnout 53%. LibDems have a 1,872 Majority.
      That’s an almost incomprehensible swing to LibDems from Tories of 30.3% from last year!

      Richmond Park is an affluent, very pro-Remain constituency (70% Remain 30% Leave in the borough as a whole) in a London suburb.

      The Greens intentionally not standing definitely pushed the LibDem candidate over the line.
      As did the Labour voters not voting for their candidate.

    • mml1996

      Smart Greens.

      Heathrow has to be expanded. Zac is just kidding himself.

    • We sorta Mained ourselves, didn’t we

  • Apple Scruff

    From here on out, he’s gonna have a rally to announce each of his next picks, isn’t he?

  • Husband Of Mrs God

    I told Mrs G about my Lemonheads reference earlier and she said, wasn’t there another group called the Melonheads.
    She googled this. Go ahead, you try it. The hits are all under Melon Heads.

    • cat cafe

      There was an awesome Bilko (I’m not THAT much of an oldz but love the reruns) where Colonel Hall, thinking Bilko is dying, has a heartfelt conversation with him, revealing that they called him “Melonhead.” Then as he learns Bilko isn’t dying, he is very concerned that this never be repeated. “What,” Bilko asks innocently, “you mean about MELON HEAD, sir?” Bilko ends up being dragged off, begging Colonel Hall to intervene, and shouting “M.H.! M.H.!” which is all I can think about at the words “Melonheads.” I can’t google. It’s too scary.

      • Husband Of Mrs God

        Nobody mentioned scary, but it is. Quite.

  • Thiazin Red

    The picture keeps making me think of Melon Lord from the final episodes of Last Airbender. I miss that and Korra, when are those Korra comics coming out?

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    OT – It is astonishing how an opera from more than 200 years ago is more relevant than ever these days.

    The scenario sounds eerily familiar: A plutocrat on a high floor in Trump Tower wields enormous political power, while a woman in his employ worries that he believes that his wealth and position entitle him to do anything he wants with her.

    No, it is not the synopsis of a new book about the 2016 presidential campaign. It was rather one of the most influential opera productions of the last 50 years: Peter Sellars’s 1988 staging of Mozart’s “Le Nozze di Figaro,” which he happened to set on the 52nd floor of Trump Tower, a symbol of wealth and excess and power in an opera about inequality.

    Se vuol ballare signor contino, il chitarrino le suonerò!!!
    If you wish to dance, little count, we will play our little guitar for you!!!

    http://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/25/arts/music/remember-when-figaro-was-set-in-trump-tower.html?_r=0

  • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

    OT – last night of my month before Payday, wishing I had something sweet to gnaw on and…

    I found a chocolate pudding packet hiding in the cupboard! I’m am a serious Witch with a Whisk, and in 10 minutes I will have chocolate to eat. XD

    • I live by a very simple code:
      There is no bad day in which chocolate makes an appearance.

      • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

        Agreed. :)

      • OrG

        Okay,now I gotta have a Little Debbie Swiss Roll.But not eat ALL of them

        • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

          I love those evil things. Just one, with a cup of coffee in the afternoon=bliss.

          • OrG

            How can you eat just one?A little 420 and I eat half the box!

          • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

            I don’t do the 420, myself. Not judging, my last gf used, with a water pipe.

            And, getting into a “Small” bikini in August really made it worthwhile to moderate my sweets. :D

        • YES! And both of them. MUST HAVE BOTH. For the one looks all forlorn and lonely after you eat its life mate.
          Humane like that

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Time to have (another) dark chocolate and peanut butter treat from Trader Joe’s. If they DARE discontinue them in order to stock a new item to put in their Fearless Flyer I will be so done with them!

    • Sardonicuss

      In my usual liberal elitist intellectual way…I was reading about food insecurity..and food desserts, obesity ect..
      In the months coming into the election, I found myself, unencumbered by excess wealth. Temporarily embarrassed billionaire I was…
      November 1rst, I received my monthly stipend of next to nothing.
      I stuffed my cupboards with varied food items of dubious nutritional value.
      At this point, I just want to coast through December in anticipation of my 2017 diet.

      • sw19womble

        Mmmm food desserts….. ;P

        • Sardonicuss

          yep…meant it like I spellt it…

          • sw19womble

            I eat it like I spell it!

      • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

        I hear that. I still have lots of staples left, Beans, Rice, Pasta, some veggies. I just had my last eggs for dinner.

        I’ve never missed a meal this year, but I’m looking forwards to tomorrow for some variety,

        • Sardonicuss

          I dropped..maybe 15lbs in August..September? (my birthday month)
          Was it heat? Stress of the election? My empty fridge?
          I will never know.
          I can’t tell if I was sadder for myself…or just knowing that I was living like the people that live like that every day….

          • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

            Since my digital scale died in 2015, I’m not sure how much weight I’ve lost this year, I’ve gone down to Size 10 pants, and XL tops, and from 40D to 36D bra.

            But, it’s good weight loss. I haven’t missed a meal. I don’t eat much Red meat anymore, lots of beans, veggies, mushrooms. I enjoy a frozen pizza once a week, and I do enjoy soda.

            But, I’m spending less, eating less, walking everyday. I don’t often eat out of sadness anymore.

            Things are tight, I have to be careful. But I’m making it. :)

          • Shan

            As long as you feel good about yourself!

          • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

            The other day, when my micro-skirt zipped up for the first time, and the men at the store were checking me in it and my stockings – that made it worth it. :)

            I got to tell Mom about that too, to tell her I was losing weight and wearing things she had bought as gifts for me. Priceless. :D

          • Sardonicuss

            I will say this. I went through some pretty starvy times in my early 20’s…..selling plasma for food type stuff.
            Going through it at 55 makes you feel …worthless. It steals your soul..somehow.
            I have always tried to help those who need it…and will do so even more when I can.

          • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

            ~hugs~

            I hear that. I hope you’ll feel better about yourself. You aren’t worthless, you aren’t evil. You’re a survivor. I am also a survivor. I’m almost 44.

            Take it a day at a time.

    • Shan

      I’m not really into sweets or chocolate. My food problem is starch. Pasta, rice, anything made from potatoes. Bread if that’s the only thing available. But I will stand over a pot of freshly cooked rice and shovel it into my face with the serving spoon until someone catches me and shames me into stopping.

      • Daisy

        Oh God, me too. And I know how bad it is, too, I grew up with a diabetic.

      • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

        I’m nearly addicted to potatoes, and I do eat lots of rice and pasta. Getting 2 days worth of meals from a pound of spaghetti and a can of tomato sauce certainly helps make ends meet.

      • shaar dula

        you must then come home for dinner sometime. :)

        we do rice.

        while shoveling food is not form, you are allowed to use touch to enjoy your food and so can eat with your fingers and mess it up to your heart’s content.

        • Shan

          I like the savory/spicy foods. I made lentil and butternut squash curry and some butter chicken and some black bean stew recently, all of which can be accompanied with rice! Mmmm, rice….

          • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

            Damn those all sound good!

            Yesterday I made baked Spicy chicken wings, Scalloped potatoes, and Sweet Peas.

          • Shan

            I am sick of good food right now so I just sent my son off to get tacos. :P

          • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

            I hear that! XD I have coupons for good deals at Subway. We’ll see how things go after the grocery store. :)

          • shaar dula

            if you like rice. try akki rotti*
            http://hebbarskitchen.com/akki-rotti/
            https://www.smithakalluraya.com/akki-rotti-recipe-rice-roti-karnataka-special-breakfast
            (in no particular order, dill goes well with this.)

            this is a very popular dish. mom’s & grandmom’s take pride in their secret version of this. like most dishes back home, there is no one true version. you can create your own version & experiment.

            *(akki = rice, anna = cooked rice)

    • Daisy

      I had a green tea latte today, and nachos. Definitely not my best day. And sadly enough, not my worst.

      • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

        Nachos sound damned tasty right now. I just added Queso to my shopping list. :)

        Everything in moderation, Daisy. One nachos meal every so often does no harm.

    • mml1996

      Hmm, I feel bad having just eaten my favorite pooris (deep fried unleavened bread), with paneer masala (indian cottage cheese)… Haven’t had it in a while!

      • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

        Don’t feel bad, that sounds very yummy!

        I haven’t missed a meal, Honey. I had leftover rigatoni for lunch, and eggs with Hollendaise sauce for dinner. I have 2 weeks worth of meals left in the house.

        I’m just looking forwards to getting a variety of food tomorrow, and for certain a pizza to enjoy. :)

        • mml1996

          Mmm, pizza…

          • BadWolfGirl

            Just ate pizza & salad :)

            I want a steak!

      • Sardonicuss

        I bought flour (2lbs for 3 bucks) ..just to make those yeast rolls that were on here for thanksgiving.
        I haven’t made any kind of bread thingy in about 20 years..but the descriptions of the way it makes the house smell got me. Just need to go back to childhood again….

        • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

          Flour, eggs, salt – lead to a lot of inexpensive but tasty food. :)

          • Sardonicuss

            I made some big pretzels a couple of weeks ago. Too much flower (from the recipe), but otherwise they were delicious.
            I figured out to add the flour to the yeast stuff as your are making it instead of dumping the whole mixture in at once….i think.
            I really love big ass pretzels like the mall makes / made.
            Really stupid of me to be diving back into bread making at this late stage…because it is all carbs…but screw it. I made a fresh loaf of bread from a bread mix last week..and it was awesome!!

          • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

            OOOh, I love those pretzels, thank you for the idea and tips! :)

      • Shan

        I love the saag paneer SO MUCH!

        Now I’m hungry…

        • shaar dula

          methi malai matar. leaves from fenugreek, peas in cream. great play on flavours.

          there’s a place in Nashville, TN that makes a really good version of it.

        • mml1996

          Oh god, my mouth waters with anything related to paneer….

      • shaar dula

        there’s a place on Rochester, ny where the chef is a Punjabi aunty. They make ossome bhature and chole.
        I wanted her to adopt me. she refused.

        • mml1996

          PLEAZE TAKE ME, I’VE BEEN LIVING ON PACKETS OF MAC & CHEEZE AND I ZWEAR I MIGHT BE SICK OF IT.

  • Jenny

    My son is watching the First and The Furious and I am having a nostalgia sads. The fashion, the cars, the attitudes. Oh to be a wreckless early adult again!

    • sw19womble

      I think we’ve had quite enough “wreckless early adults” voting (or not, as the case may be) this year!
      2017 – the year of underground Civics 101 classes.

      • Jenny

        I wore my JNCO jeans to vote for GORE!

  • I have a hunch that the original search that led to this story was by Sarah Palin. “Can Melon Trump indeed sue for Rose words about son” is pure Palinese.

    • Rick Hill

      “Where are you gonna be when the ether hits?”

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      And everybody knows
      She was hard to believe
      And everybody knows
      She was down with the Palinese.

      • therblig

        ok, but no mexican blackbirds

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Melon Trump, eh?

    Well, she does have a couple nice store bought Honey Globes…

  • StoliNYC

    I really hope MELON TRUMP becomes the Walnuts! of 2016.

  • Melons can be scary.

    Particularly if they are the dreaded MELON HEADS OF OHIO! MICHIGAN! CONNECTICUT!

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melon_heads

  • mml1996

    Melon Drumpf BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA – you mean those aren’t real? :D

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • BloviateMe

      That made me laugh.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Winter is coming…

    • Me The People

      Complete with the sinister uplighting too. Everything seems to have this weird hyper parodic quality to it since the election.

      • Jamoche

        Yeah, it’s why I keep falling back into the “denial” phase.

      • Dazza

        THAT’S IT! Thank you. I have had this hinky feeling since 9 November – but I couldn’t put it into words. I feel as if I am in a Tim Burton film, one of his early ones (Beetlejuice?).

    • ltmcdies

      It is known….bwaaaahhhhhhh

  • Suttree

    Back to my OT from 2 hours ago: I have set up going to the Met with my father and Lizzietish Saturday afternoon. Then in the evening we shall be going out to dinner with two of my super duper awesome cousins.
    I am so excited! And I just can’t hide it!

    • Daisy

      Yay! :)

    • BadWolfGirl

      Have fun!!

      • Suttree

        I will! I’m already grinning!

  • Daisy

    Oh God, my roommate just complained because she’s fluctuating between 120 and 124 lbs.

    • willi0000000

      if the time period is less than 5 seconds . . . RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Close the valve!

    • Force feed her ice cream

    • Suttree

      During my adult life I have fluctuated between 147 and 215 lbs. Get over it roomie! Yeah I got really sick once.

    • Jamoche

      Tell her it’s hormones and the only numbers that matter are month-to-month.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      That’s within the realm of normal fluctuation. Tell her to focus on nourishing and moving her body, not on numbers on a scale.

      • Daisy

        I think she’s a little stressed out because she was an athlete in school, and she’s moving around less than she used to.

        • Suttree

          Then tell her to get off of her ass and stop complaining. Sex is a great workout. Just so long as it’s not with your guy friend!

          • Daisy

            She definitely won’t be having sex, she’s the one with the boyfriend at the naval academy.

          • TJ Barke

            Based on what a buddy of mine who joined the maureens told me, that’s not necessarily a deterrent.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I was gonna say…

          • Daisy

            For her, it is.

          • sw19womble
          • Suttree

            This is a brief asides. I used to date a woman who always thought she was fat. At her heaviest she was around 175. She was also 5’11”. She was bulimic in her past and still purged when I dated her. She thought she looked great at 120 lbs. I’m glad I dated her when she wasn’t about to blow away in the wind. People (especially women, but men do it too) get crazy ideas in their heads about beauty. It’s almost always wrong.

          • TJ Barke

            I will be sexy when I reach a certain number!

          • Count Awesome

            I’m sexy when people reach a certain BAC number.

          • TJ Barke

            Aren’t we all?

          • Suttree

            I only feel sexy when a normal human being would die of alcohol poisoning.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            Every single time I get clothing that looks good on me some creepy guy decides to ruin it. My closet is almost bare of flattering clothing at this point. More peace of mind for me.

          • Daisy

            That sucks.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            A small taste of what eastern Colorado is like: I was on a date with FMC and we were walking back from the mall (very long walk) late at night, and this car comes speeding into a parking lot, stops near us for a couple of moments ( every single store there had its lights off so I automatically raised my parasol) and then drives off as fast as it can.

          • Shan

            You should wear what you want. I worked with a woman who was tiny short compared to me (I’m 5’7″) and probably had 75lbs on me (I’m no good at guessing) but she just wore the FUCK out of everything.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            Do you see the material we have to work with? I always feel guilty for being 240 lbs at 5’6 even though I look 180.

          • Daisy

            I probably weigh in between 190-200 and I’m shorter than that.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            I have curves but I always said I’d stop beating myself up about it once my stomach was flatter. That has now happened (thankfully) and that was just blatant lies.

          • Daisy

            I’ve lost some since college, and that makes me happy.

          • Suttree

            And somewhere in this thread (responded on disqus to onlycat) I told her that if I was half my age I would totally be hitting on you guys! :) So there! Take that! I saw both of your pics the other day and you gals are adorable!

          • Suttree

            I’m not going to announce my baby’s weight, but she weighs a little bit more than I do. I think that she is beautiful!

          • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

            I really don’t know how much I weigh right now, but I’m 5’10”:https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/750a7a8c2142cbf6697559b503069bf5774aa667bb4307d909f7bdfb5ffbfe0c.jpg

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            You look amazing. What are your secrets?

          • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

            Thank you. :) I walk everywhere, because I don’t have a car. I think I do at least a mile a day.

            I like myself since I came out, so I don’t eat because I’m sad anymore. I don’t do much Red meat anymore, maybe one a week. Lots of beans and veggies.

          • Suttree

            We totally need to go hit the quarter together!

          • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

            Sounds like a plan! XD

          • BadWolfGirl

            Ladies, the only men that show interest in me are Trumpkins. I’m 51, 5′ 9″ tall & 135-140 lbs. Red hair, blue eyes, very Irish looking.

            I don’t know if it’s that all the good men are taken, if they don’t want to be bothered because of BWK or if it’s me.

          • Shan

            Did you steal the Tinder profile I don’t have?

          • BadWolfGirl

            I don’t know what Tinder is :(

            But if you’re hair were curly we could probably be sisters!

            Except I’m probably crazy.

          • Suttree

            That’s my point. This woman was fucking crazy. My sweetie right now has a teeny bit of weight on her and I don’t give a shit! I love her because I love HER!

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            WELL THEN YOU TRY UNDOING 20 YEARS OF CONDITIONING AND RUDE AND INSULTING COMMENTS FROM ALMOST ALL THE PEOPLE YOU’VE EVER MET.

          • Suttree

            I try the best that I can. I also try to understand where you are coming from. My sister at her heaviest was 350. She took the cancer diet and had half of her colon removed and a hysterectomy. She is now below 300. My sister is beautiful! She gets hit on all the time. She just rocks it!

          • Suttree

            Ok, my thing about my ex, is that she was never overweight. She just got sucked into that stupid mentality. Yes her mother did that to her. Her mother still doesn’t understand why her daughter thought cocaine and the stairmaster was her way to beauty.

          • Suttree

            So both you and Daisy put your pics up the other day. If I wasn’t twice your age and in a relationship I would be right next to you guys flirting!

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            And I would promptly tell you I am 1) in a relationship, 2) I don’t understand flirting and 3) I’m pretty much asexual and aromantic.

          • Daisy

            I don’t get flirting either. Reading social cues is difficult enough.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            I’ve kind of overcompensated for that in such a way I can almost mind read. Which actually makes conversations much more awkward for me. Who knew?

          • Suttree

            When I was your age (creaking bone sounds) I was really shy. I didn’t understand anything about human social interaction. You are doing way better than I was at this point. I never hit on a girl until I was 25 and in college. I started college late.

          • Suttree

            I know all of that. You have missed my point. My point is that you are pretty. And cool. And I’m very glad that you have found MFC! My point was that in a different universe I would hit on you. Not this universe.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            And in that universe I’m probably gay. XD Thanks though.

          • Suttree

            I’m probably a cat in that universe. *crosses fingers for the next life*

          • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

            Vibrators burn calories. Or, I think they do, it would help explain my weight loss this year.

            XD

        • Suggest intermurrals. If she is not sportsplaying there, she can join the fun sports playing at the very least

    • Suttree

      Not to be rude, but I can take a shit bigger than that. I also used to wrestle and they would always put me at a weight class I didn’t want to be at. So before weigh in I would put on three pair of sweats and run until I lost 3 lbs of water to make weight.

    • Sardonicuss

      My God! Is she 7 ft. 3!
      Call in the national guard!

      • Vecchiojohn

        Call the WNBA.

    • Vecchiojohn

      So does my right leg.

    • BloviateMe

      I fluctuate between 165 and 235. I’m pretty solid.

      • TJ Barke

        Yeah, but how tall are you?

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          I fluctuate between 5’8″ and 6’2″

    • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

      Honestly Hun, that’s just water weight. Try to suggest to her she might be monitoring her weight too often, and too closely.

      • Daisy

        I’m worried a little, because she just bought a scale.

        • BloviateMe

          My friend bought a scale back in the day, but he was dealing boogar sugar, so that’s probably not apropos.

        • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

          If you can gently suggest that she only weigh herself once a week, it’s much better for her piece of mind.

    • TJ Barke

      As someone that could probably pick her up and throw her, I suggest she chill out.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I could literally pick her up and throw her and I think she should take a Benadryl and nap it off. Maybe try afternoon walks.

    • Doug Langley

      Strange things happen during finals week.

    • shaar dula

      when young ones do its fine guess. I dunno.
      but apropos us olds. I think a lot of us are freaking out more about how we look than who we are.
      as somebody somewhere eloquently put it, more mindspace is spent worrying how our butt looks than how our brain works.

  • sw19womble

    Trump Victory Rally transcript:
    https://youtu.be/iyfOjT01b24?t=39

    • TJ Barke

      You’re not secretly Justin Roiland are you?

      • sw19womble

        Nah, I’m secretly Snowball.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piRIIvCjuKs

        • TJ Barke

          I thought your actual dog was named Jerry? By the way, the Rick and Morty episode commentaries are great.

          • sw19womble

            Thank you! I mean *cough* I’ll go check them out :P

          • TJ Barke

            It was pretty funny seeing which commentaries you and Dan switched off being drunk for. Dawg.

          • sw19womble

            Do you listen to the Harmontown podcast, btw?
            I highly recommend it generally to the Wonketariat.
            http://podbay.fm/show/542228532

  • Shibusa
    • mml1996

      Kid will be president some day. He/she should continue to eat lead.

      • Sardonicuss

        …ummm….paint chips…- The Donald

    • shaar dula

      I love such parents. my dad was cool that my sis and I were goofballs. my mom on the otherhand …
      my sis is turning into an earth-mother version of mom. I’m now more scared of my little sister than I was ever of my mom.

  • mml1996
    • anwisok

      Thank Dawg we got rid of that horrible Fairness Doctrine!

  • BadWolfGirl

    I’m watching Trump on dvr delay. This thing is unfuckingbelievably irresponsible. It’s incredible how he blathers on about what he is going to do yet doesn’t say how. He has harshly criticized everyone & has spewed a shit-ton of lies.

    Please, Electoral College, please do not vote for this dangerously insane man.

    • Daisy

      I can’t believe he is the president-elect.

      • Anna Rompage

        Merika, fuck yeah!

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Honey, I did all I could. I wish we weren’t handing your younger kids, who had no voice in this, this fucking moron.

        Why, yes, I am drinking early. Why do you ask?

        • Daisy

          And thank you for your work. It’s not your fault so many stupid people were concentrated in particular areas.

        • sw19womble

          The West Coast pretty much held up its part of the bargain (and large inroads into the desert. also, too)

        • TJ Barke
        • You have NOTHING to be ashamed of, Cally. Your side of the nation held up its end of the bargain. Once more, California is decades ahead of the rest of us I guess.

          • Moebym of the Rebel Alliance

            *waves from Nevada*

          • Yes, Yes, Nevada has caught up quickly XD I just mean the old thing about how by the time fashion hits New Jersey, California is 10 years ahead.

          • Moebym of the Rebel Alliance

            I know – I just never miss an opportunity to plug how well NV did. ;)

        • Shan

          Hi, Cally! Hope you are holding up.

        • shaar dula

          callysir,
          you are taking it too hard on yourself. please take it easy on yourself.

        • Sardonicuss

          You sure did.. and I want to thank you.
          I watched you on here the whole time. I live in a horrible red place and it was so heartening to see you fighting and phone banking and working your ass off….You were one of the first people I thought of when it all went south. I should have told you before….but I have been in a bad place.
          Thank you so much for what you have done…and please don’t give up. The country needs more like you.

    • WeaselPoo

      Today, I had a job interview–of sorts, anyway. The interviewer had come to the school where I work to see if any of the students were worth recruiting for his business.
      At a moment between interviewing students, I asked if he would like a coffee or some other refreshment ( he didn’t). The school’s Job Placement Counselor introduced me as a part-time instructor of some of the students being interviewed, we chatted briefly and he asked to see my resume, too. I gave it to him and we chatted a little more, about the construction business in general, and the opportunities in our municipal location in particular.

      And then he said:”Well, Trump’s a businessman so I think the opportunities should really improve”.

      I didn’t say a word, I just nodded vaguely.

      Unsurprisingly, he found my resume to be the best of the bunch–so I wonder…

      Even though this man is offering to pay me more than I’m earning now (which happens to be jack shit), he’s clearly a fucking idiot, so what are the chances he’ll actually be able to pay me properly, or run his business in a sensible fashion?

      Or are his politics and his actual business sense separate? I don’t think I want to risk accepting a job offer from him.

      • shaar dula

        please don’t read too much into these things. life is more complicated than that.

      • What Shar said. If it is a good opportunity for you, you should take it; he might REALLY think Trump- even as a failed businessman- would be good for business because he IS a businessman, even if a failed one. Might not necessarily mean he thinks he is a good one or anything, just that his policies might be good for business- which they might, at least in the short term

      • BadWolfGirl

        I’d consider it if they make the right offer. And hold your nose if he talks politics.

        • WeaselPoo

          to all who have advised….you are all correct, i would take the work, politics notwithstanding. A minority of my colleagues voted for Trump, a friend of mine voted for Trump, but it’s not like they are activists for the alt-right or have any influence ( Hillary won in our state–NJ–handily). But I would be very careful about the terms of being hired– specifically that my being paid in full would NOT be contingent on the sale of the property being turned over.

    • shaar dula

      I’m like why are you reliving it?
      if not:
      good morning BWG.

      • BadWolfGirl

        I feel it’s my responsibility to watch. I was on dvr because BWK needed help.

  • Blacktop Cadence

    So, I finally got political on my girly account on FB. Well, my only account there. It was nicely, though, so good points for me?

    I’m sure we’ve all seen the nasty lady who spewed hatred at a bunch of Michael’s employees and had done the same previously. I’m getting to the point where I agree with “traditionalists” that we should socially police offensive people. I strongly disagree we should socially police people for innate characteristics (be they trans, like me, or gay, or female, or black, etc.), but I increasingly think we need to do something about the piss poor social behavior.

    That’s how Trump won, I think. He’s made socially unacceptable, deplorable behavior the new “minority.” It’s like “if you criticize how much of a fucking asshole I am you’re a terrible person!” No, that’s a call for crass censorship. You want free reign to say terrible things publicly, and then want to cry when others call you out on it.

    I honestly think we need to begin to approach this as a cultural and First Amendment issue. These people want to spew their bullshit and silence critics as if we didn’t just hear or read what they said. You got your voice, and we have our own. No, your bullshit deserves a response, and responding isn’t censorship.

    • Hell, they want to sue people who pull their advertising because that is censorship.
      oldy but goody:
      http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/free_speech.png

      • Blacktop Cadence

        I cannot post this cartoon often enough lately. >.>

        I honestly think so many of these people think they should be able to say terrible things without social consequence, though.

        >.> I bet the few I’ve reported, since I had my girl account, to their employers would top the list.

        • It’s a very interesting phenomenon we have going on right now- the willful ignorance I mean. Anthropologically interesting.
          The last time such a large part of a population jumped in and rolled around in delusions willingly, knowing full well they are delusions (they can “say” they believe it because they read it on the internet, but considering how mad and angry they get when you call them out, you just know that deep down, they know too how full of shit they are being) was, actually, Germany in the 30’s.
          People don’t drink the sand because they have no choice, they drink it because they want to believe it is water.

          • Blacktop Cadence

            I just wonder who it’ll fall down on in the end. >.>

          • Same people it ALWAYS falls down on, throughout history, in every society that ever existed- minorities, wiminz, and poorz.
            -btw, the LBGTQ would likely fall under minority in this case- except for the few rich ones of the first two groups who can afford to purchase amnesty with monetary gains, just like….always.

          • Courser

            I hear you and feel the same way. I think I’m a bit older than you and had 9th grade in a Missouri Synod (German) Lutheran school. Ancient history sort of. But man, do they pound on the Holocaust and the German part of it. One classmate’s father had been at the trials at Nuremburg and brought one of the books of photographic evidence to school where it was passed around the class. No permission slips for parents to sign. Nothing, no warning. Those photographs are burned into my memory and nothing any 9th grader should ever see. And whether is was wise or good to expose kids to something like that, they were way, way ahead of the curve. They warned us even then that there were people who said the Holocaust never happened. In a way, they made witnesses out of the grandchildren of the families who fought in the second world war. So our generation would never forget and never doubt.

            I’d love to go see the Holocaust museum in DC but I won’t go while it’s under occupation. Hope I live long enough to see it.

          • I went back in the 90’s when it was new. Glad I did, it is something. Doubt I could do it again, because it was somethnig.
            I went to an all girl’s catholic school and they did not sugar coat or shield us from that- heck, in 8th grade when we first did in depth study of WWII, the section on the holocaust lasted for 2 weeks by itself, and that was out of a semester course, so not too small a section. Was 13 then, covered everything about it in all the gruesome detail, including how gays were singled out also, too (reminder, catholic school! Damn fine history teacher) up through the liberation of the camps and how survivors sometimes died when the GI’s gave them food because they were that horrifically mal-nourished. So they made the kids of the grandchildren of the fighters also, too remember, or at least in blue collar philly XD

      • Courser

        I adore this cartoon. I actually had to do something like that to a nutty lady who rode on my shuttle van. She suddenly started yelling about rape and abortion and all sorts of gruesome shit. It was snowing at DIA, I had a full load and it was going to be a long drive. Almost to the end of the ramp coming down from the Passenger loading level, I started to pull the van over, telling her that if she didn’t shut the hell up, she could get off right there and find another way home. She started hollering about the First Amendment and I told her she had every right to stand outside and yell all she wants, but in MY van she had to follow MY rules. I have the right to refuse anyone, at any time. She shut up.

        Oddly enough, when I dropped her off she tipped me $20 and thanked me. She didn’t really apologize, but whatever. People…

        • Shan

          You did a good thing.

          • Courser

            LOL, I actually made a killing in tips that run. I dropped crazy lady off first, which was opposite of policy. Door to doors got dropped last, but just wanted her gone. When I told the rest of the passengers what happened and why I dropped her off first, they all chuckled and understood. And subsequently tipped me well!

    • sw19womble

      Conversely, I want to have these fuckwits out in the open, spouting their vile bullshit.
      The fact that Trump has emboldened them to come crawling out of their cubicles is actually a good thing.
      As long as the ‘news’ arms of the industrial-entertainment complex actually do their fucking job.

      • Blacktop Cadence

        I think a lot of that will depend on how normalized it is.

        I know I’m going to suffer socially for being trans. I mean, dating? Haha. But at work too. I accept that. There is a consequence, however unfair, for who I am.

        I think these assholes don’t realize that, and they’ll scream and scream as a result.

        • sw19womble

          This is specifically pushback by social conservatives over the inroads that the Alphabetties and their Allies have made in the past few years.
          The pendulum swings back again, naturally, finds a new center – and these bigots have shat their beliefs all over the internet. Which is forever, even if they don’t realise it…

          • Blacktop Cadence

            Weirdly enough, I decided to do some serious reading (being a sub allows that), and I’m reading about the religious right during the Dubya administration, when they were ascendant.

            Yeah, that pendulum took a hard swing right, but what chills my blood is how I think these fuckers know this will be their last chance. The next right wing won’t be a religious one. This one barely is socially.

            So, best to get ugly now. That keeps me awake.

          • They were never about religion. They used that as a pretext- even under W, if you look a little deeper, you will see the back bone of ALL of it is a: Control of education and B: Money.

          • Shan

            *waves hi to Jen*

          • Sister mine ^.^
            I legit thought about you, today. A Lady I knows has a son who recently came out, he is 15, and we are in bumble the fuck jesus country here. She is a scared.
            So I remembered something you said (and consequently thought of you) about being the rock to lean on for your daughter and she seemed to get a little less scared. I can do that, she said!

          • Shan

            Thanks! It’s my daughter. She’s…more complicated than just teh gheyness of her, so oddly that one factor seems less intimidating to me as a parent than all the rest. If that make sense. Because she’s SO much like me….

          • rofl no I dig that XD Since she is so much like you, you fret she might maybeeee do some of the stuff you did that you wish you did not, and yet …can’t condemn it since you did it and all….
            :huggles: I bet she is awesome.

          • sw19womble

            It’s always all about Money.
            And the ironic thing is, and I wish people understood this: Money doesn’t exist.

          • heh I know that from Macro 101 XD
            “Class” said teacher, day one, what is the dollar based on?
            “Gold?”
            “Silver?”
            “Commodities?”
            “No, it is backed by the faith of the consumer. That is all.”

          • sw19womble
          • Nah I am a dumbass and I know it ^.^

          • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

            XD I always wanted to be a warrior, a soldier, a Starfleet Captain.

            I’m getting those wishes in a weird, backhanded way. But – so be it.

            *This* is the war worth fighting.

        • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

          I wont lie and say that it doesn’t occasionally hurt.

          But, positive attention feels very sweet. :) Try to remember, socially – that we win *every* time we go out looking good as our real selves.

    • Shan

      And I agree with that, but…it’s different when you’re the target and trying to figure out how the fuck to get out of the situation unscathed. Calling an abuser on their bullshit isn’t always an option when you’re worried they’re going to escalate it.

      • In Karate, Sensei says the best defense you can have is not to fight at all. But if it comes to that, control the situation and beat them flat.
        He’s an Ex Marine, they be like that.

      • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

        It’s a challenge. I trust my instincts. I won’t usually back down. But when it was my crazy angry neighbor, I said nothing and called first 911, and later the apartment manager.

      • Dazza

        If it helps, imagine the scenario ‘ If I knew then what I know now’. Imagine you are your grown-up, knowledgeable self back in high school. What would you say – knowing what you have learned and experienced – to the pimply 16-year old from back then.
        Would you simply shake your head and walk away, fix them with a cold stare, or say ‘bless your heart’ in your best Evan manner? I guess we all have to be the grown-ups now in the conversation with haters. Sucks, I know.

    • Dazza

      For a moment I read ‘cultural first aid issue’. Which still works. Let’s save polite society from the boors and racists – at every socio-economic level.

  • anwisok
  • diogenez
    • Courser

      Strange, that looks a bit like Seth McFarland in drag.

      • diogenez

        Brian Eno. Roxy Music? History, people! Important rock history.

  • anwisok

    He ha no idea how right those first 3 words were.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3UjlqWel-U

  • Maddogjohn
    • sw19womble

      Nicaragua!

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Gone Couch-Fishing

  • anwisok

    I never, ever call this song by its “real” name.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aH-xoD3oVU8

  • anwisok

    I guess we can’t ever play this song again, can we?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgubG-MOPT4

  • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    And I’m in the mood to post my theme song for the next four years:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kj9SeMZE_Yw

  • Msgr_Moment

    Momma Anna Marie Cox on the Lawrence show.

    • BadWolfGirl

      I’m on dvr delay, Rachel just started.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Almost makes me wish I wasn’t boycotting tv news. And Quaker Oats…

      • sw19womble

        Wow, still holding that grudge against Nixon, eh? :P

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          I’m old enough to still be holding a grudge against Andrew Jackson.

      • Msgr_Moment

        Eat more Fruit Loops to double your impact.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Just another economically insecure working class white person being the victim of political correctness run amok…

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/doctor-michelle-obama-monkey-face_us_584069a7e4b017f37fe35241

    • anwisok

      “She said her comments were taken “out of context” and claimed she didn’t realize the term “monkey face” is racist.” Riiiiight. She “didn’t know.”

      • Villago Delenda Est

        When you post some thing obviously racist and in the next part of the sentence say you’re not racist, well, you have no credibility in your account to cover the check you just wrote.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Wait, no “sorry if you were offended”? Sheesh…apologies these days…

      • Dazza

        Out of Context? Let’s go to the video tape, folks. The Doctor said:

        “Doesn’t seem to be speaking too eloquently here, thank god we can’t hear her!” a post attributed to Herren read. “Monkey face and poor ebonic English!!! There! I feel better and am still not racist!!! Just calling it like it is!”
        Seems the context is ENTIRELY racist. The doctor is only sorry she got caught. Wait for the wail ‘Political correctness gone mad!’ because she has been called out and doesn’t like it.

    • Courser

      Ugh, yeah. She’s from here. Honestly, she should know better. Denver Health and CU are both extremely progressive places. She’s not just a bigot, she’s an idiot. And she’ll probably turn around and sue Denver Health, which does incredible Medicaid work in the Metro. We’re fucked either way.

      Disclaimer: I had Denver Health as my Medicaid provider for the year I qualified. It’s far from perfect, but better than I’d gotten with a number of commercial insurers.

      • She DOES know better. That is their fall back excuse “I didn’t know it was racist, honest!”

  • Me The People
  • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet
  • John Smith
    • CogitoErgoBibo

      The funny part is that it’s a coffee shop and no one knows where the mannequin heads come from.

      • shaar dula

        from pesky customers posing for mannequin challenges?

      • Courser

        Same closet where they keep the toilet paper. Just a bunch of them stacked one on top the other.

  • I Am Helpy

    this story has absolutely made my day

  • Me The People
    • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

      Have a good night! :)

  • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet
  • I am sure this particular crowd is ON this but….
    http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2016/11/30/veterans-give-protesters-break-standing-rock/94698198/

    Resistance is NOT futile! Fuckin A

    • sw19womble

      And where’s the great hero Obama? #NODAPL

      • Yeah I would REALLY like him to be nofuckstogive right about now.
        I know he is constrained and he has to leave it to the Army Core and did in deed set that wheel in motion…
        but he could be greasing that a little maybe

        • sw19womble

          I fear he’s now too concerned about his “legacy” to touch the current general dumpster fire

          • He might as well give up on that because his legacy is now kaput- or will be about Jan 22.
            He actually has no authority to step in here- don’t think he can even exec order since it is private company and whatever- but he can certainly speechify- go up there, stand with those Vets for a few hours, get the fucking press to pay some attention

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Where are all the white goobers who are “1/8 Cherokee” when you need them?

          • Wai too busy being 7/8 white

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Thx. I got to remember that one next time some asswipe feeds me that line.

  • Nounverb911
    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I love all the reviews that basically say, “I never asked for this thing. I don’t want it. It just showed up. I tried putting it toward the back of the tree, but it keeps trying to climb up to the top. And all the other ornaments are afraid.” There are about 50 versions of that, but they’re all pretty funny in their own ways.

      • Courser

        I spent some time reading that the other day.

  • anwisok

    I fear that the Tree of Liberty will have to be watered again to push back against the RWNJs now in charge. Does the Left still have the determination it once possessed?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlCSQVt6hvo

  • Jeffocaster in the East

    goodnight wonks. I am flummoxed by what might happen in the future…..keep your chins up and sleep well.

    • We’ve fought before, Jeff, we WILL succeed in this one too. Just…gonna take more work, more tears, more sacrifices.
      Good thing we’re used to that. :hugs:

    • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

      Chin up, Babe. Have a good sleep. We have not yet begun to fight.

  • Sardonicuss

    “I’m waiting for someone to tell me who you’re taking the country back from,” Benenson asked Conway. “Is it my parents who came here two generations ago? I’m trying to figure out who that message was for.”
    http://www.vox.com/2016/12/1/13814248/trump-clinton-harvard-conference-shouting

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “You’re not being nice!” Fuck me.

      • Sardonicuss

        God I hate this bitch. This is going to be her thing for at least 4 years. She is the high school cheerleader berating the black people for “being so rude”. …and “why can’t they just be happy with what they have”.
        The banality of fucking evil/

        • boyblue122

          After the event at Harvard today, Nate Silver said KAH is someone who is drinking the Drumpf koolaid, not just someone who is in it for the money

          His quote:

          “One takeaway from the @HarvardIOP conference is that Kellyanne Conway is not the savvy, winking SNL caricature. She’s a True Believer”

          • I can’t agree with Nate on that. I think she IS the winker- she just knows if she wants a place in the game (which, btw, she has not been floated for, how funny that! She has gotten to play door greeter at Trump Tower tho!) she has to keep smiling and spinning that spin.

          • boyblue122

            yeah…what exactly is her role in the game if shes not officially in the Drumpf cabinet

          • Door greeter and news spinner. Pretty sure.
            Dumbass has not gotten the memo that the cab is for the RICH.

          • boyblue122

            oh haha…pretty funny if thats the case

          • Sardonicuss

            “Propagandist in Bleach?
            Are we really doing this shit!
            None of these people get any slack any more for being just flacks.
            A flack in a fascist regime eventually is just someone who justifies sending people to camps.
            Are there still people who dont see where this is leading?

          • Sardonicuss, we are not cutting slack here. Actually being quite mean girl XD Just find it amusing that after all she “did” for the great orange shitbaggen, he has not floated her name even once for a position.

          • Sardonicuss

            If he keeps her out of the official staffdom…he is free to send her to and fro…(Canada…Romney stomping) without any blow back. Since she is not an official part of the regime.
            This guy slept with a copy of the Fuhers speeches next to his bed for 20 years. He is too stupid to make his regime a metephor…he is modeling it down to the last dot.

          • Sardonicuss

            Yep. She will look real cute in her full length leather black coat and such…
            Come on for gods sake! None of these people should be forgiven for “just doing my job”.
            I think they made a movie about it
            “Judgement at Nuremberg” I think they called it!

          • Oh HECK no. No forgiveness.
            It makes it worse that they are just playing it up for their own self interest, in my mind anyway. Then they know they are doing wrong, they just do not care.

          • Sardonicuss

            Oh yes. I never got this. The cutsie SNL parodies where she is just an average apratchick..doing her job..taking care of the kids.
            Leni was a radical spy mole compared to this Goebels in drag. She needs some negative attention in the media and she needs it now!

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Totally…the ’16 cheerleader/narcissist version. Load people into cattle cars for the camps putting smiley face stickers on their internment papers as they board, then complain that they are being “rude”.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      A whole bunch of assholes who were infuriated that we elected a blah guy to POTUS, then reelected him. Infuriated that we wanted to elect a woman next, infuriated that we made them acknowledge gheys and trans, infuriated that we made them accept Messicans and worse yet Muslins, infuriated that they could no longer say or do whatever the hell they wanted, infuriated that they were no longer alone at the top of the pecking order. IOW, a bunch of selfish assholes who want to take their country back from anyone and everyone who forced them to share it even the tiniest bit with all those others…

      • BadKitty904

        Fallacy #1: It’s not “their” country.

  • CogitoErgoBibo
    • Nounverb911

      But her father thinks she’s wife number 4.

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        I honestly think he does. And, ewww.

      • Daisy

        Gross.

    • Was wondering where the liberal squirrel would show up and what shape it would take.
      Now we know! For a second there I thought Mellon there might step into that roll, since she is just a furrn woman and tee hee, we got nekky pictures of her (that were pointed out to the sleaze rags by her husband’s own campaign!) but this makes more sense.

  • BloviateMe

    Sportsball trigger warning:

    By the gods I’m weary of being a Viking fan. I’m so exhausted.

    • Sometimes, son, you just have to drop ten and punt.

    • Daisy

      My dad is in sportsball heaven. (Cowboys fan)

      • BloviateMe

        the original Hail Mary play was offensive pass interference.

      • BadWolfGirl

        Groan

    • Nounverb911
      • BloviateMe

        Ancient though it may be, at least hey won a Superb Owl.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Say ten Hail, Tarkentons, and do one Stations of the Cross.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I’d bitch about the injuries my hometown Steelers have taken if one you Vikes fans (you maybe? Fuck if I remember) hadn’t bitched back about how we managed to get a few Super Bowl rings years ago FFS…

      • BloviateMe

        That was me. And remember, even our HEAD FUCKING COACH is now in injured reserved.

        Snake bit?

        Yeah. Just a bit.

        Apologies, I’m so bitchy right now.

        • Resistance Fighter Callyson

          That’s OK, honey. Pretty sure I’ll be with you in a couple weeks :-(.

          • BloviateMe

            My boss is a Steelers fan, I’m well aware of the Steelers’ greatness. LOL.

    • Radardude

      You remember Joe Kapp and the Purple People Eaters, the sure thing until the Chiefs kicked their ass? The Fran era where they were pesky but never got over the top? Joe Grant’s stoicism? Take heart as all of we Cubs fans have endured through the years. Every dog’s day comes. (Minus points for stupid cliches).

      • BadWolfGirl

        I loved Fran & I most definitely was a purple people eater.

    • TJ Barke

      Go Packers!

      • BloviateMe

        you

        • TJ Barke

          Sorry, contractual obligation.

          • BloviateMe

            Understood.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Seems like they’re finding their mediocrity again after that early season run of over-acheiving.

    • theblackdog

      Still better tha being a Browns fan

    • BadWolfGirl

      I was a Vikings fan as a kid.

      I’m in Eagles country & I bleed green. And I know the agony of defeat.

      Sam I Am broke my heart last season.
      I’m sorry he let you down :(

  • Nounverb911

    The NY Daily News seems to have had enough of Donnie whatshisname, has uplifting front page tomorrow instead.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/71ccfa4918af5be8e3d7407a7263b1cd8d6d643940f7f2005de0f77adf1f7c6d.jpg

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Well, you can’t have your pudding until you eat your meat…

    • Sardonicuss

      Rodents run wild!
      Sorry…Just had to shout that out loud…

  • Msgr_Moment

    Hey, MSNBC, I’ve got an idea. Quit giving this motherfucker free airtime. You gave him too much when he was a candidate. Why can’t you try to make up for that now?
    Oh, and fuck yourselves.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      LOL, good luck wit dat. There’s money to be made…

  • BadKitty904

    Despite today’s GOP’s false attempts to co-opt ’em, Abe certainly knew his fellow Americans:

    Shall we expect some transatlantic military giant to step the ocean and crush us at a blow? Never! All the armies of Europe, Asia, and Africa combined, with all the treasure of the earth (our own excepted) in their military chest, with a Bonaparte for a commander, could not by force take a drink from the Ohio or make a track on the Blue Ridge in a trial of a thousand years. At what point then is the approach of danger to be expected? I answer. If it ever reach us it must spring up amongst us; it cannot come from abroad. If destruction be our lot we must ourselves be its author and finisher. As a nation of freemen we must live through all time or die by suicide.

    ~ A. Lincoln, January 27, 1838

    • Daisy

      It’s like America actually read something for history class, but only got “SMASH” instead of “hey guys, we’ve got this.”

    • Dazza

      Well done, BadKitty. This is exactly right.

      • BadKitty904

        Sadly, yes, it is.

    • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

      GOPers are *all*, every damned one of them, pusillanimous cowards, and they use the fear to make others fear.

      Reject fear and propaganda. Culitvate courage, and laugh at these worthless, spineless losers.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “….until every drop of blood drawn by the lash is paid for at 2 cents on the dollar in bankruptcy court.”

      –A. Lincoln, Second Inaugural Address

  • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wY1fUAPYH3M&list=PLgA_QpnjZQywhhsQy5fWuWLjDw1jBmMUj&index=13

    Sing! No one can be scared or sad while they sing this! :D

    ~We have worked the self-same gun
    ~Quarterdeck Division!
    ~Sponger I, and Loader you
    ~Through the whole Commission!

  • Nounverb911
    • shaar dula

      way to go girl!!
      My pain is prolly because I liked you so much as a candidate. Hill-ji please get back to the fight. You’ve had useful things to say about important stuff. Please keep doing it.

      • Moebym of the Rebel Alliance

        I understand – this election has made me admire her so much that she’s become almost like a god to me.

        She needs time to heal, but I have no doubt that she will come back stronger than before.

      • BadWolfGirl

        Same here. But she’s been put through so much. We can’t blame her if she wants to semi-retire with the Foundation & enjoy her grandkids.

  • Daisy

    I want to wear a skirt tomorrow, but the weather is conspiring against me.

    • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

      Can you add leggings or stockings underneath? That’s my go-to to enjoy skirts in the cold weather.

      • Daisy

        I can only do tights, the skirt is pretty, well, tight.

        • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

          Nice! I have some bodycon pencil minis, they rock bare-legged or with tights.

          • Daisy

            I might wear it anyway, I still have to pick out a top.

          • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

            What color is the skirt?

          • Daisy

            Black.

          • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

            Sounds excellent. I’d pair it with a white button-up, or a white cami, depending on weather.

          • Daisy

            I have a white tank top, and I’ll just wear a jacket over it.

          • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

            Sounds like an outfit, then. :)

          • Purple is nice with black, just sayin. Course, purple goes with everything. YES IT DOES SHUTUP

          • Daisy

            I want to wear red lipstick though.

          • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

            Not arguing. My glasses frames are Purple, and I have a cute Purple cami, and Purple Booty shorts. :)

        • BadKitty904

          No mukluks?

        • Yr. Gma

          We used to have thing called “pantyhose” for warmth.

          • Daisy

            Ohhh, that’s right, I do have pantyhose!

    • Shan

      I have a holiday party to go to tomorrow.

      Meh.

      • Dazza

        Our office party is in 2 weeks. It will probably be 40 C – so flip-flops and summer casual will be the go. (In Perth, that usually means ‘singlets, shorts, and thongs’ Trans. = tank tops, shorts, and your best Australian Flag flip-flops).

  • Land Shark

    So here’s how this works …

    While walking to work (Manhattan) yesterday morning, a couple were packing up their things after what I assumed was a night sleeping rough. I said, “good morning” to them as I passed. The woman said to her companion, “now that’s some respect.”

    I stopped, said, “thanks,” wished them a good day, and turned to continue my travels.

    It is the small acts of kindness that remind us that we’re the same species trying to make our way on the same planet. Simple respect is a tonic that cannot be bought, and is easily (most times) given.

    • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

      Yes indeed. I’ve been going out of my way to be polite, be kind. A man was flabbergasted the other day when I held the door for him, but hell, he had a dollycart full of soda, it was no strain to hold the door so the guy could deliver something I’ll eventually be buying.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        The Latinos in my neighborhood have been even more appreciative than usual of basic manners and kindness. Fuck.

  • Found my work phone! I am a responsible adult again!

    • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

      Nice! :)

    • TJ Barke

      Where’s the fun in that?

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Man, if only finding my work phone would solve that problem for me. I mostly want to drop kick it to Neptune. But yay you!

      • It’s more that i am on call tomorrow night in order to facilitate my going to my regular movie weekend

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          That’s pretty much why I have a work phone as well. It was an ultimatum. Either no weird-ass on-call hours or I get a company cell phone. I feel your pain. But yay movies!

    • Daisy

      Yay!

    • Suttree

      /FFS where was it and how long has it been now?

      • Since saturday night. I am SUPER lazy

        • Suttree

          After the election it took me three days to find my phone and five or six days to find my tablet. My desktop had too many wires to throw out of the window.

    • BloviateMe

      Phones are a flash in the pan fad, don’t worry about it.

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        [*nods vigorously whilst clutching a 1975 rotary princess phone*]

      • Suttree

        I’m investing heavily in donkey futures while I await the impending apocalypse.

        • TJ Barke

          Start a cockroach farm now, avoid the rush.

          • Suttree

            I’ve seen Snowpiercer. I have the best, most glorious cockroach farm down south.

          • Shan

            I thought I was the only other person who had seen that movie.

          • TJ Barke

            THAT MOVIE IS FANTASTIC!

          • IT REALLY IS!!

          • Yeah but did you guys see Piranha women in the Avocado Jungle of Death? QED

          • Yes. And it’s CANNIBAL Women in the Avocado Jungles of Death

          • Nope! I own the special edition blu Ray…

          • Suttree

            You are not the only nerdy dystopian future lover around here!

          • Vienna Woods

            I gave up on it 20 minutes in.

        • No snark: Should invest in the stock market right now. Cash out about Jan 25th.

        • Count Awesome

          The supply of jackasses seem to be at an all time high.

          • Suttree

            Buy low, sell high!

          • Count Awesome

            Supply is always higher than demand do that particular item.

          • Suttree

            I mean the useful jackasses that can carry stuff. Not the cheeto dust lung having ones.

          • Bub the Mad Zombie

            Try getting saddles on those fucking nags.

          • BadWolfGirl

            Amen

        • Bub the Mad Zombie

          Livery stables, I’m telling you! Maybe a blacksmith, or a farrier…

          • Suttree

            I’m a blacksmith! I have never done any farrier work though. I’ll learn quickly.

      • shaar dula

        rofl!!!
        love it.

    • Congrats ^.^
      New Boss casually mentioned that if I had a smart phone, I could do work things when not at work.
      I looked that young right in the eye and went “Work payin for it then?”

      • They do pay for mine…but it’s also why i carry two phones. One for for working, one for Wonking

        • SMRT
          If they paid for mine I would have to, but they won’t because cheap asses, so I am pretty sure I am safe in that department ^.^

        • Dazza

          We have work phones that take two SIM (work and private line)cards. It simplifies life enormously.

          • Work phone is in a nearly indestructable Otter box. Too much effort for switches. Also, personal phone is newer

        • Bub the Mad Zombie

          I do my wonking on a desk top. No way I’d do this on a phone. I HATE smartphones.

    • Land Shark

      Wait … wut? You were a responsible adult once? My dreams have been crushed.

      Oh, yeah …. thanks Obama!

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        Good point. Pickwick, you should have just gotten a magic Obama phone. Problem solved! Well, problem solved anyway, but yeah.

        • Can Canadians have Obamaphones?

          • Hive mind!

          • Suttree

            Go Habs! Poutine… *drools*

          • Ewww. To both!

          • Vienna Woods

            You have no taste. *clutches the picture of herself with Ken Dryden*

          • It’s professional sports in general.

          • Vienna Woods

            And I like poutine, also, too.

          • Bub the Mad Zombie

            Ken Dryden was my favourite hockey player. I remember him winning the Cup as a rookie in 1971.

          • Vienna Woods

            He’s tied with Jean Beliveau in my heart.

          • Bub the Mad Zombie

            And I remember Le Gros Bill very well too. One of the classiest individuals to ever play the game.

          • BadWolfGirl

            I was heartbroken when the Flyers had to choose between Doug Favell & Bernie Parent.

          • Dazza

            Wow. I am a Habs fan. From way over here. It has been a bad few decades since the days of Les Glorieux of 1975-79.

          • Vienna Woods
          • BadWolfGirl

            I’m a Habs fan except when they play the Flyers. I’m still pissed at Michel Therrien for scapegoating PK.

            And what’s wrong with poutine?

          • Nothing. If you have universal health care

          • Suttree

            Nothing is wrong with poutine! I was always a Rangers fan myself. Penguins also, too. I haven’t really watched any for a while though. My mother did help deliver one of Mario Lemieux’s children though.

          • BadWolfGirl

            I hate the Penguins but I love Mike Condon. King Henrik is amazing.

        • Are those available in Canuckistan?

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            Oh. Right. But we’re your friends! We’d totally smuggle one across the border in exchange for cheap pharmaceuticals.

          • I thought i was gonna be running a refugee camp before this time next year?

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            There’s still a lot of time between now and then. It’s good to have goals.

          • Besides, we can trade obamaphones for refuge

          • Dazza

            Canada needs Trudeau phones. Ones purr at you in charmingly cadenced English.

          • So long as they don’t shout at me in Shawiniganese

          • Dazza

            No that was the Chretien phone. It was recalled because it kept bogarting all the poutine and sending it to Shawinigan International Airport. ;-)

      • Count Awesome

        I’ll stick with the Sesame Street phone I had as a kid.

      • I pretend i am for money

    • shaar dula

      nice.

    • BadKitty904
      • shaar dula

        lol.

  • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet
  • anwisok

    Well, time for me to hit the hay. Until we meet again!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAnHxBFbLRc

    • Good night!

    • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

      ‘Night! :)

    • BadKitty904

      Leave that hay alone and just go to bed. Sleep tight!

    • Shan

      Good night!

  • Señor Skwerl!

    So hive mind. I received three unsolicited phone numbers from women tonight (i’m old), My therapist keeps telling me I should call these people back. My question is can I live in my bubble, or is bonding with other humans required from my species?

    • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

      Baby, do you really need to ask me? XD

      Call a Girl. It’ll do you good.

    • Suttree

      How much are they charging?

      • Señor Skwerl!

        What funny is the last time I was solicited (August) the lady wanted to charge me $3 for a hand job and $5 for a BJ. My response was, “Thems 1912 prices!”

        • Suttree

          I’ve got a few spare $20’s, line ’em up!

    • TJ Barke

      Fuck no, other people are the worst, especially if you don’t live up to their expectations.

      • BadWolfGirl

        I’m with Shan. Keep your escape route clear.

        • TJ Barke

          My sad strategy is to not need one.

    • Shan

      Who says you have to bond with them?

      • Señor Skwerl!

        I guess that’s why I have a therapist! Damn Kevorka!

        • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

          I think Shan means you don’t have to form a lifelong connection to have some fun. :D

        • Shan

          There’s nothing wrong with enjoying their company so long as you can also have your bubble and a quick way to get back to it, if necessary.

          Says the woman who blocked the last person who asked her out on a date because when she said “no, thanks” he started arguing about why she was wrong to refuse.

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            OMG I hate “Let’s debate this rationally” dude. I said no. Arguing about it isn’t making you more attractive.

          • Shan

            Yeah. My saying “no” didn’t mean “no” it meant “start negotiating” to this guy. It also involved some negging on his part. “You’re a single mom. How else are you going to meet people?” and “I think our personality types are compatible and worth exploring” and “You should be more appreciative of the fact that I was willing to drive that far out of my way to have dinner with you.”

            Um, no.

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            I think I just vomited a little. I’ve met that guy. His final sendoff is usually, “THIS is why you aren’t married.” Such a charmer, “start negotiating” guy.

          • Shan

            I didn’t wait for a final sendoff. After the bullet-point arguments post, I blocked him.

            I mean, it’s not like I was rude about refusing him. He knew full well that I’m an introvert and don’t care for socializing. All of our previous interactions had been cordial and totally neutral, i.e., no flirting. I really did say “thanks but no thanks” but…ugh.

            Anyway. I didn’t mean to derail from Señor Skwerl’s post.

          • Señor Skwerl!

            How far? 5 mi? 20 mi? 678 mi?

          • Shan

            I have no idea. IIRC, he was driving from Colorado back to the east coast and decided that he could stop in my neck of the woods (Kansas) on X date in October. He could have been coming from across town or from the flipping moon and it still would have been a shit thing to say.

          • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

            Negs are insta-block. Fuck that. Life is too fucking short.

          • Dazza

            Cheezus. What an idiot.

        • Suttree

          Therapists are overrated. Bartenders do the same thing, and some of them might actually give a fuck if you come back and spend your money.

          • Señor Skwerl!

            Bartenders are dangerous, because they give me free drinks for playing color. BTW I’ve said too much. Thanks for listening.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Bonding is overrated. Now, comparative sexytimes might prove interesting. You know. For science.

    • mml1996

      I think I need bonding, otherwise I might gravitate to being a caveman.

      I am not kidding. I prefer burying myself in a laptop over talking, unkempt hairdos and physical looks.

      I’d definitely need that.

  • Mavenmaven

    Apparently the lager us Wonkette folks will be interned in will be named after Eric Trump.

    • Suttree

      What’s this about lager? Where!?

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        IPA or GTFO.

        • Suttree

          I am not ashamed of the beer I drink! I also can’t pound 20 IPA’s. That’s why I drink lager or pilsner.

          • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

            Geez Louise. XD

            If I have *2* Shock Tops, I’m…..friendly.

            Classic Cheap Date.

          • Suttree

            I lived in New Orleans for 20 years. Don’t judge me for my ability to drink ridiculous amounts of booze! :P

          • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

            Not judging you, I’m embarrassed at me. :D

    • So, the “Dumbass vampire spawn who is not the favorite” camp?

    • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

      They can only place you in a Konsentrationslager if you allow it.

      I made that decision when I was 8. I die on my feet.

    • BadKitty904

      Is that Upay or Ixnay? I can never keep them str8.

      • Shan

        Give them 4 beers and it won’t matter.

        • BadKitty904

          Um. No.

          • Shan

            I was just being silly! Because you said…

            …um, never mind…

          • BadKitty904

            lol Hey, *I* posted that joke. I just find those two supremely unattractive.

        • Suttree

          To them or daddy?

    • Dazza

      I will send you care packages, and come by on Saturdays for the D&D – which will absolutely rock – if I know my Wonkers, and I think I do.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    I am telling myself not to eat but it very tempting.

    • The brown acid? The yellow snow? What!??

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        In general. If I told the dietitian (I still have have to make an appointment with) what I ate today I would probably get in vasts amounts of trouble. OTOH I haven’t had dinner yet…

        • HazooToo

          Please don’t force yourself to not eat. Just eat something reasonable. Not eating can fuck your blood sugar, especially if that’s not something you’re used to.

          • ^ x10000000000000
            You MUST eat regularly, and on time, and balanced, portioned amounts. It is imperative.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            But I’m not a balanced person. OTL

          • That is the tricky part, yes XD
            But being all serious un-solicited-advising-mom-mode as I am being, the balance does not mean the old pyramid, but more making sure through the day you have what you need.
            I read a thing on grazing being better for people with diabetes once too, also. When you speak to the nutritionist, maybe mention that kinda thing, see if it is true, and formulate a plan you can work with?

    • TJ Barke

      Just gotta beat that urge a few times in a row, and then it’ll be second nature. Or it has been for me, mostly.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I don’t generally condone (or enjoy) simply not eating but I’m craving carbs (mac and cheese). Generally, I like to change my diet by slowly replacing my snacks and half my meals with fruits and veggies (I have so far switched to Ezekiel English muffins, ate some dark cherries today and then had avocado with my potato chips instead of dip).

        • TJ Barke

          I find carrots work well for snacking substitutes.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            Me too but the carrots I bought don’t have the right texture for some reason and I’m losing my mind.

          • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

            I adore carrots, and that helps. They also go well with many things, the texture raw or properly prepared is appealing.

          • TJ Barke
          • IOnlyLikeCats

            Don’t even think about it.

          • Anna Elizabeth, of Starfleet

            XD My vibe has better length and girth than most carrots. I do need to re-stock AA batteries, tomorrow.

          • BadKitty904

            U freek.

          • What’s black and white, black and white and green?
            Two nuns fighting over a cucumber.

            True story: Took me 5 years to learn why my dad yelled at me when I told that enormously funny joke (I was 7 at the time)

          • BadKitty904

            OK, you can be sane or you can have children.” ~ My cousin Evanell

          • mml1996

            That is an excellent substitute, but once you down 2 raw carrots, you kind of get the feeling of being a cow chewing on a cud…

          • TJ Barke

            That’s fine. Pasture cows are chill.

          • mml1996

            I aspire to have such a lifestyle.

          • TJ Barke

            A shame, as all pastures will be desert within 40 years.

          • mml1996

            Crap.

  • Suse

    OT: Just found out today I have celiac disease. Are any of you dealing with it?

    • Yr. Gma

      That sucks. No, I don’t have it but I know someone who does. It’s a real adjustment trying to avoid gluten.

      • Suse

        I love gluten!

        • Yr. Gma

          Problem is gluten doesn’t love you back.

          • Suse

            I know. I’ve had a tummy ache for 6 years.

          • Yr. Gma

            Fortunately there are a bunch of gluten-free things available in the stores now. My friend substitutes corn tortillas for bread and uses them for sandwiches instead of tacos.

          • Suse

            I love sourdough bread and oatmeal, but it shouldn’t be a huge deal otherwise.

          • Vienna Woods

            As long as you get an oatmeal brand that’s certified gluten free, you’re probably ok. It’s just that most oatmeal is contaminated with wheat.
            http://allergicliving.com/2010/07/02/ask-the-celiac-expert-are-oats-ok/

          • Suse

            Thanks for the link.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            Gluten free muffins are surprisingly delicious.

          • Suttree

            I feel your pain Suse. No doctor has ever figured out what is wrong with me. It just comes and goes though. I’ll be fine for a few months and then have a bad tummy for a few months. All of the diet changes haven’t help. I have really cut back on meat though and that makes it a little bit better. I wish you the best of luck! It sucks being sick to your stomach all of the time.

          • Shan

            Tummy sufferer here, too. There are SO many things I know I can’t eat. And then there are some days where things I thought were fine just kill me.

          • Suttree

            I’ve been looking at my diet for over a decade now, and the only things that I know that set me off are too much beef and too much red wine. I’m pretty much fine with everything else. I just get sick every few months. I’m not a vegetarian yet, but I keep slowly getting closer. I just had a delicious ham sammich five minutes ago.

          • Suse

            My pain comes every few months and lasts about two weeks. It’s so bad I can’t sleep or really even function during that time. I feel like I’m being stabbed. The times in between I have minor, but very annoying, pain.

          • Suttree

            That is similar to me. It usually last a little bit longer though.

          • Shan

            A friend of mine in the UK had a problem with his…liver, I think it was? Something to do with the ducts being blocked/irritated? It was a long time ago and I can’t remember very well. Anyway, he would be okay for a period of time and then something would set him off and he would be so incredibly pukey sick and in such agony that he would have to be hospitalized. I’m not sure if/how it was ever resolved, though.

            Sorry, that was kind of vague and unhelpful….

          • Suttree

            I’ve had my liver function checked and it’s not that. I was fine for years until this year when I hurt my back and had to take a LOT of meds for it. My tummy turned sour again about a year ago.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            I’ve been having tummy trouble for a while (it didn’t clear up after the antibiotics like I was hoping) but stuffing my face full of fiber has helped somewhat. I remain optimistic.

          • Suttree

            I had pancreatitis about 15 years ago but I got better, and I suffered an injury where my small intestine….. Oh whatever I got stabbed and one of those wounds perforated my intestine and I’ve had problems ever since. I don’t know if it’s that or if I’m suffering from something else. Back in ’08 I was laid up for 6 months with stomach problems because I couldn’t leave the house. I puked so much I broke a rib. Ass on the can and face in the trash. They tested me for all sorts of stuff. Did you ever have to poop in a little bucket and bring it into the Dr.’s?

          • Suse

            Golly! I’m so sorry. Have you had a full colonoscopy?

          • Suttree

            Nope. I really need to get one done. New Years resolution when my insurance switches over.

          • Suse

            Yup. Keep me posted, please.

          • Suttree

            Will do. I already have the gastroenterologist picked out.

          • Dazza

            I have had one. The prep was gross. The colonoscopy was a strange experience. I was given one of the twilight drugs, so that I was ‘awake’ and could respond verbally and move as directed. I don’t remember ANYTHING. Even after the procedure was over, it was a good hour or so before I was fully aware of what was going on around me – the SU was highly amused and swears that I signed over my entire SF paperback collection. Sauce!

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            No because they thought at first it was just a bacterial infection (the second time they did imaging and there was nothing so I have no answers).

          • Suse

            That’s exactly me. It’s very intermittent. Have you had any tests?

          • Suttree

            Not in years. I was only ever tested for a few viruses, but my sister has been genetically tested and has the carriers for Lynch Syndrome. Her and my grandmother both had colon cancer. My sister is still alive though. I really need to go get a camera shoved in my bum. I’ve never been checked.

          • Suse

            Yes – get a colonoscopy ASAP.

          • Suttree

            I really do! My sister is getting sick again too. She just got tested for Lyme disease and then MS. She has already had half of her guts removed. Part of her colon, complete hysterectomy, gall bladder, appendix…… The sad thing is that she has never done any drugs and doesn’t drink. She found out after surgery that she’s allergic to opiates. I started having my fun in my mid teens. I quit everything but drinking and smoking cigarettes.

          • boberiggert

            Do it ASAP. I just had a hemicolectomy and am now on chemo. You don’t want this.

    • BadKitty904

      Well, that’s no fun. You OK, Mom? They caught it early on?

      • Suse

        I thought I had ovarian cancer, like my sis. I had a CT today, which was normal (thank heavens), but my lab tests indicate gluten intolerance. I have to have some other tests to confirm. But, yes, I am okay and happy it’s nothing more serious.

        • BadKitty904

          OK, I vote for celery disease over ovarian cancer. So, while it still sucks, good job, Mom.

          And Grammy is correct – there’s a ton of gluten-free stuff running around nowadays. Most every grocery store has a gluten-free section.

          • My local store, no lie, had a “gluten free” sign up by the grapes.
            I snickered.

          • Suse

            I worked with a woman who had celiac and it’s all she could talk about. I will never be one of those types.

          • My sister is of that sort. If she has it, or think she does, then everyone must hear of it and everything must cater to it, yadda yadda
            I no longer really rag on her for that since having a child with actual really real very big issues is friggin hard and hey, if it helps her vent and stay mentally sane, I can handle the hypochondriac bragging a bit.
            (she was convinced she had celiac for about half a year. Insisted on gluten free apple pie, it was awful, next family gathering she no longer had celiac. She’s a trip XD)

          • Shan

            My XSIL got so bad after I “came out” as lactose intolerant that she would bring her OWN FOOD when we went out to eat as a family. Because she was already a vegetarian but suddenly was lactose intolerant, too. And all kinds of other things that just had me rolling my eyes.

          • LOL LOL that sounds like my sister XD
            She is a tinge older than I, but still…been allergic to peanuts my whole life. Somehow, this came as a surprise to her one year, think she made some peanut brittle and I turned it down.
            Anyway, next year she was allergic to peanuts XD

          • Suse

            People can be really wacky about their diets.

          • Suse

            I love to bake and there are gluten-free flours available, so it shouldn’t be a problem if I bake my own stuff.

          • This was years ago, there are MUCH better things on the market now I know science fact ^.^

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            In case you are ever not in the mood for baking, I was serious about the muffins. Udi’s is amazing (I like them better than gluten muffins).

          • data_ninja

            What you need to do is get a really rare food allergy, and when people find out that it exists, they spend the next 5 – 10 minutes asking you questions in the same manner as if they met an outer space alien.

            Not that I’ve experienced anything like that, not within the past 2 weeks at least.

          • Suse

            ;-)

          • BadKitty904

            Next to the free-range strawberries, no doubt.

          • Shan

            I went to buy cat grass at the PetSmart and I SWEAR it said “gluten free” on the label.