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What ho, good man, I am the New York Times. Have you got a grapefruit?
What ho, good man, I am the New York Times. Have you got a grapefruit?

The New York Times stroked its Van Dijk and tugged at the black turtleneck layered underneath its Mao jacket. (The New York Times has trouble dressing itself.) The New York Times had a thought, and it was a thought that was fit to print! “What if I said Banksy was boring and terrible or something, who knows, Too Pompous Didn’t Read,” the newspaper mused, “and then I picked a mommyblog at random and picked ONE SENTENCE out of an entire travel-adventure in which the proprietress of said mommyblog went into the woods in Lincoln, Montana, her husband and newborn baby in tow, to beard a bunch of neckbearded militia members in their Three Bears den, and I complained that her sarcasm wasn’t divine enough to be elevated to satire? That sounds good, let’s have grapefruit for breakfast, because grapefruits are gross, and I suck.”

The New York Times was pleased with its decision. It ate its stupid gross breakfast and then wandered to its manual typewriter, which it was always lugging around with it on its travels so people would know it was a Real Writer, one who cared about Craft and stupid things that don’t matter, like fucking typewriters. It smirked, and cracked its fingers like a master pianist about to play a great piano sonata, if you can play sonatas on the piano, who knows, not us, we are a dumb uncultured blog of bullshit.

The style of Internet writing often called snark participates in sarcasm, typically by adopting the derisive tone of satire without the complex irony. You can find this sort of writing anywhere, on almost any topic. Picking more or less at random, I found this sentence from a Wonkette story about the Oath Keepers, a constitutionalist group that recently interceded in a mining dispute in Montana: “George Kornec and Phil Nappo have a mining claim on federal land; they’ve put up a garage and a fence, and the dastardly government is pushing its weight around and being a big bully and being really terrible and stuff by telling Kornec and Nappo to take them down.”

That’s technically irony, because the literal meaning (the government is abusing its power) is the opposite of the meaning implied (the Oath Keepers are overreacting). But the inversion is applied mechanically, artlessly, in a way that does not encourage the reader toward a deeper truth. There’s no insight here to raise this irony to the level of satire. There is only mockery, backed by certainty that the reader shares the author’s contempt. Sarcasm is a natural fit for partisan news aggregators, because it relies on a calculated appeal to shared attitudes.

The New York Times wondered if it wasn’t maybe a shade bitchy, and also lazy, and a smidge disingenous, to pick only that one sentence, when it was followed in the original by the following much better sarcasm:

You can see why such an insult and outrage would call for militiamen and rifles, just as a similar threat to liberty did in Oregon earlier this year. Why, it “smacks of offenses listed by Thomas Jefferson in the Declaration of Independence,” even! (The undoubtedly skilled lawyers of the Oath Keepers believe that filing a mining claim makes federal land your “private property,” which the very first commenter on their own website pointed out: “everyone would use it to have their own personal paradise in the National Forest or on other public lands, or to block access to public lands like many hobby miners want to do and environmentalists would like to do.” You would think the armed men of the Oath Keepers would listen to the part about environmentalists, at least!)

But then the New York Times remembered that it doesn’t have any editors anymore and just lets a bunch of idiots write whatever the fuck they want.

Satisfied, it went to bed, where it made perfunctory love to its wife, who lay back and imagined getting drilled by the Daily Mail.

$
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  • Mavenmaven

    Sounds more like an installment of “Dear Sh%t Fer Brains”…

  • Anarchy Pony

    Oh, gods, please tell me we aren’t soon to experience a troll invasion…

    • sw19womble

      ARE, surely?

    • TheBidenator

      Let them COME! :rolls up sleeves:

    • JohnBull

      Wait till they find out we don’t allow comments.

  • memzilla
  • The NYT is just jealous since they don’t have anyone as cute as Donna Rose.

    • calliecallie

      Or as talented as Editrix and Shy.

      • MsAnthropesMr

        Or as wonderful as the commenters. If they allowed them.

        • weejee

          Or as heartwarming as the trolls.

          • MsAnthropesMr

            Or as beautiful a poetry as the spam.

          • fergawdssakes

            The NYTimes is like rain on your wedding day

          • MsAnthropesMr

            More like a big turd in your chardonnay. And chardonnay sucks anyway.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            Class traitor!

          • Msgr_Moment

            Isn’t that snarky?

          • Mehmeisterjr

            No, it isn’t snark because it reveals the deeper truth is that no wedding is of much importance if it does not involve a couple of trust fund babies of Manhattan lineage, a place in the Hamptons and jobs at the very best hedge funds.

            Or maybe it is snark, after all.

          • nothingisamiss

            And how DID I miss this ode to Wonkette wonderfulness yesterday?

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Let’s not spoil everything by allowing comments, m’kay?

    • coozledad

      Imagine the new York Times harping on sarcasm as kitsch while it continues to employ the bleakly talentless Modo, or the opaque David Brooks. It’s a goddamn aspirational Murdoch rag.

  • Antimassacree

    Artless perfunctory lovemaking, no doubt.

  • Thaumaturgist

    Forget editors. This is pushback. Just admit Wonkette is not as glorious as the NYT and climb onto the Anyone But Hillary bandwagon, and the NYT will be happy.

  • Antimassacree

    Can’t wait for the Wonkette theme park!

    • MsAnthropesMr

      Enjoy the “Florida Man” drunken lawnmower ride.

      • memzilla

        Play Rethuglican Candidate Whack-A-Mole!

        • MsAnthropesMr

          Ride the Anaconda! No wait, ride an anaconda!

        • weejee

          Okay then…

        • Msgr_Moment

          AOT,K.

      • nothingisamiss

        OMG now I want this SO BAD. SO BAD.

    • Msgr_Moment

      I thought we had one, Comrade!

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gr%C5%ABtas_Park

    • JohnBull

      Can we have a ride called “Praiseland” like in that one Simpson’s episode? Except at the end of the ride, this will show Jesus writing the Constitution.

      • Antimassacree

        All I know is there must be corndogs!

  • OddMan

    I love Wonkette. And this article is a perfect little example. Exquisitely snarky turn of phrase and just the right je ne sais quoi of “Fuck You Assholes”.

    I’ve been a regular reader for more than two major election cycles and have finally come out of the closet, (no, not that one) and decided I can also ‘not’ comment.

    Thank you Wonkette for all you do. Fuck the NYT.

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    • nothingisamiss

      Beautiful. I want the “Thank you Wonkette for all you do” t-shirt.

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  • Beezelbubbles

    NY Times…

  • sw19womble

    Private Eye’s “Pseud’s Corner” on line one!

  • MsAnthropesMr

    It’s not a monocle, it’s a grapefruit juice deflection device.

  • memzilla

    If our Wonkette had a print edition, I would roll it up and smack the NYT right on the nose with it and say “Stop shitting in the corner!”

    • Msgr_Moment

      I read mine on an old 386 desktop. Works even better.

      • willi0000000

        386? . . . THREE-86! . . . you posh bugger.

  • exinkwretch

    The Old Gray Lady scoffs at your pathetic attempt at humor while she speeds away in her Duesenberg convertible.

    • memzilla

      And she’s late for her G&Ts at Dame Peggington Noonanhampshire’s. “Faster, Carruthers!”

    • OneYieldRegular

      The Gray Lady apparently moved into Grey Gardens a long, long time ago.

  • RoyalUglyDude

    Take that, Wonkette. Everyone knows only philistines use semicolons.

    http://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/comma-queen-mad-dash

  • Independently Yours

    Wonkette: writing with an outward focus, an expression of truth and ideas, with passion for the underdog.

    Whatever that other rag is: inward, self-satisfied writing, self-congratulatory…”Well, where’s the applause?” it asks.

    • Biff52

      Peggy? Izzat you?

      • Independently Yours

        I’d count yard signs to make that determination…but I couldn’t live with myself if I am.

  • Jaime Oria

    NY Time (speaking in alien voice): “Sna…aa..ark? Tell me of this thing you call snaa…aaark.”

  • MsAnthropesMr
    • Respiteini

      Worst Headline Ever. He may be a smug has-been resting on the laurels of Good Eats, but he never said he’d “had it with foodies” in that interview.

  • TheBidenator

    Tut tut Wonkette, why if the New York Times wanted exquisite satire of writing craft it would rehire Judith Miller and Bill Kristol thank you very much…

  • MsAnthropesMr

    Who is the NYT?

    • Msgr_Moment

      Baby Lyce?

      • Amy!

        Wyn!

  • calliecallie

    I don’t think the NYT even has a wife. I think it went home and whacked off.

    • Querolous

      Assumes a penis not in evidence!!!

  • sw19womble

    If any of the fucknubbed toss-bandits on the NYT – or, more probably, the woefully unpaid interns who have to do all the shitty heavy lifting for the more senior indolent trustafarians, before heading back to their fraternity/sorority with their CVs nicely-padded for later – are reading this, please feel free to use this comment in one of your snotty little articles, you cockle-faced mumpwarts.

    Not that anyone reads any of your tiresome pseudo-intellectual shit – no wonder the printed page is dead.

    • MsAnthropesMr

      Dare I ask what a mumpwart is?

      • sw19womble

        If you have to ask, then you really don’t want to know.

        • Biff52

          I’ve had mumps, and I’ve had warts, so some combination of the two doesn’t sound like fun at all!

      • JohnBull

        Wasn’t that Mama Cass’s band?

        • MsAnthropesMr

          No, that was Peter, Paul and Mary.

      • Independently Yours

        Even Google doesn’t know.

        • MsAnthropesMr

          I don’t trust google.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        “They” don’t want you to know!

      • Playonwords

        What happens to your head with Red Dwarf Space Mumps

      • Steely_Fan

        So you’re gonna skim right over fucknubbed toss-bandits and then question mumpwarts? Sheesh.

        • MsAnthropesMr

          I know what those is.

  • Msgr_Moment

    There’s no insight here to raise this irony to the level of satire.

    Dear Gray Lady, tomorrow we will all be ironic satiric not unfunny, but you’ll still be stuck with MoDo as a columnist.

  • TheBidenator

    Silly NYT, Wonkette is not a satire blog it’s a dictatorship of which would be commenters are whipped for insolence and we like it that way!

    • sw19womble

      Awww not fair! I have yet to be whipped for my insolence. *sniff*

      • Biff52

        Line starts over >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>there.

    • eggsacklywright

      The dictatorship of the Wonketariat? Yummmm.

      • coozledad

        The state withers away a whole lot quicker if you fuck it.

        • Amy!

          Don’t they have a pill now for when the state withers away?

    • Playonwords
  • Biff52

    The New York what, now?

    • eddi

      The New York Behind-The-Times.

  • Tallmutha

    I went to the author’s website. So boring I think he should refer to himself as “Dan Brooks!'” But I notice he lives in Montana. Maybe you should go over to his place and show him the babby and tell him he made her cry.

    • nmmagyar

      …or set his house on fire and salt his fields. Either or.

      • sarafina

        It’s good to have options.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        “It’s the Montana way.”

  • NerdWithNoName

    There is no such thing as bad publicity. YOU MADE THE NEW YORK FUCKIN’ TIMES!!! I hope Champagne glasses are clinking in the chat cave as we speak.

    • nothingisamiss

      Amen! We were dissed in the motherfucking Times, motherfuckers!

  • Zippy

    Yes, you can play a sonata on a piano.

    Yes, the NYT still fancies itself as the holy anointed gatekeeper of all the things

    Yes, they really did employ Jayson Blair and Judith Miller and they really do still let Douchehat and MoDo and Bobo and Thomas the Moustache publish words.

    Hey Gray Lady, sarcastic enough for ya?

    • MsAnthropesMr

      Well, I can’t play a sonata on a piano. I’m lucky enough to get off an etude on the violin.

      • Querolous

        I’m pretty good on the organ.

        • eggsacklywright

          The mouse organ?

  • Msgr_Moment

    You know who else picked a fight with the Wonketariat?

    • MsAnthropesMr

      The Brazilians?

    • Me, you no talent hack who relies on the mental ineptitude of your fatuous fellow commenters to approach something resembling “wit” in relation?

      • CapnFatback

        Not taking. Try harder. Use more vacuous phrases like “deeper truth.”

        • The deeper truth is that I almost went with “Me, you fucking asshole!”, but was afraid that that would be too subtle for the Saturday morning decaf frappuccino crowd still adjusting to the brightness of their own inner light.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      No one, because comments are not allowed.

    • TheBidenator

      That weird wingnut who likes to dress up like George Washington? Oh and NewsMax and Breitbart because we’re ALWAYS at war with that undead motherfucker….

    • sw19womble

      The “I make $98 an hour” spambots?

      • Mehmeisterjr

        They are annoying but I hear that their mate’s auntie is a real sweetheart. And rich!

        • Amy!

          Mmmm. Pretty sure that’s Trump math.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      All of them, Katie?

    • Suttree

      Ammosexuals?

  • Maybe, and it’s just a wild idea I’d like to float out there, if this mommyblog would allow comments, it might, just might, be able to rise to the level of sophistication the NY Times expects.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I always thought the best sex position was perfunctory.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Perfunctory is not just a sex position, it’s a lifestyle choice.

      Heh, you can say that about missionary and cowgirl too, I guess.

    • sw19womble

      Also my favourite ice cream flavor, too.

      • MsAnthropesMr

        Rum Raisin.

        • Biff52

          Mmmm, Baba!

      • Msgr_Moment

        Not to mention floor wax!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Actually going somewhere and talking to actual wingnuts who spout their actual nonsense is mere sarcasm.

    Making up cab drivers who happen to completely agree with your privileged bullshit beliefs while never moving more than two steps away from your in office wine fridge is journalism thought-provoking essay writing elevated satire. Got it.

  • Respiteini

    I’ve heard the Daily Mail can lay some pipe.

  • Ricky Gay

    Gray Lady Lay, lay across my big brass dick

    • Respiteini

      Shut it down. We have a winner right here.

      • Ricky Gay

        pssst! don’t agree with me – that is just what the NYT wants to see, as it faps into the folds of its Fashion and Style section!

    • Bill Slider

      Maestro, music, please.

    • Pseudonym

      With votes.

  • FauxAntocles

    Uh, hey old gray lady, it’s called writing for one’s audience. Also, GFY.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Hey, they write for everyone, not just a specific audience.

      Everyone is interested in lifestyle articles about how hard it is to make ends meet on $600,000 a year.

      • MsAnthropesMr

        And lifestyle articles based on the people who live in my co-op. I think some of the writers at the NYT never leave their building.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          In fairness, never leaving their home really reduces the chances of actually running into Ross Douhat

      • Biff52

        Hey, they write for everynoone
        //fixed

      • Vegan and Tiara

        I’m also interested in reading their lifestyle articles about how hard it is to find good domestic help. My trailer isn’t going to clean itself.

      • Bill Slider

        For $600,000 a year, my end will do more than meet. It will dance. Oh.

  • junior friggster

    1 Buy Wonkette mommyblog from @KenLa
    2 NYT mention
    3
    G
    H
    A
    Z
    4 Profit!

  • Comrade Wingtardd 5467p

    Coming from the newspaper that gives Tom Friedman a platform to scribble his stupid inanities in every week, I do not think this means much.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      That’s three time Pulitzer prize winning overrated hack Tom Friedman to you, buddy.

      • Yes, let us not forget how much it cost his wife to buy all those votes!

    • EmmettGrogan

      Well-said. I’m taking a leaf from the gheys, who years ago, were excited just to be mentioned in the mainstream media, movies, etc. Even if i was a bad stereotype being portrayed, they were glad to be mentioned. So, hey, when the NYT notices us, we must be having an impact on the mainstream media. First they laugh at you, etc. Also, too, “there’s no such thing as bad press”, which many celebrities have relied on since god was a corporal.

    • tinywriting

      I see your Tom Friedman and raise you a David Brooks (and throw in Ross D’ouShat for free).

  • coozledad

    Dan Brooks’ Combatblog just wishes it was written by Neil Steinberg, and Dan wishes he had Rebecca’s mighty balls.

    • Amy!

      Northern California wants to be Western New York.

  • Metadude

    Gawd, does this mean MoDo will be writing about us now?

    • Bill Slider

      Better that she write about us, than be us.

      • Toomush_Infer

        I’ve never seen a purple cow…

  • Callyson

    Say, you know what else was only mockery?

  • harryeagar

    That’s what you get for making fun of Peggy Noonan. Over and over.

    • Draco

      Hoooooooray!

    • diogenez

      Who says that good deeds go unrewarded?

  • diogenez

    When Wonkette publishes something as deeply horrible as Judith Miller’s cheerleading for the war on Iraq, well then the NYT will have something to bitch about.

    • FauxAntocles

      I hear they’re bringing Judith back to pound the drums for Iran…

      • diogenez

        She will be moonlighting? Her day job is feeding Dick Cheney the tears of infants by eyedropper.

      • Biff52

        Fucking Tweetie had her on a few days ago, pimping something or other, I couldn’t watch.

      • coozledad

        I first read that as “I hear they’re boning Judith” and a darkness settled over my mind.

    • diogenez

      Note to Rebecca – do not hire Jayson Blair.

  • VandeGraf

    Thanks to our fortunate stars that the implication was NOT that Wonkette is like Tracey Emin, or Damien Hirst. Then eeeewww, and yuck, also too. We would have to put the snarkalator to our temple and pull the alleged trigger.

    • zerosumgame0005

      Only if it is the OFFICIAL Wonkette Snarkolator bought though the store here!

  • HeywoodJablomey

    NYT is in a snit ’cause their operating profit and ad revenue is in decline. Fuck ’em.
    All the Shit That’s Print to Fit, in the bottom of small animal cages ’round the country.

    • eddi

      From “All the news fit to print” to “All the puffery that fits our biases”.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        I don’t think they were all that hot, even in their best days.

        Robert Benchley sliced them up a treat in his spoof of their “Literary Lost and Found” column. It must have been written more than 80 years ago and yet the otiose style that he mocked (albeit with little “deeper meaning”) has not improved to any significant degree to this day.

  • Callyson

    Tell us how you really feel about the New York Times, David Brock:

    David Brock: The New York Times has ‘a special place in hell’

    The pro-Clinton crusader accuses former D.C. bureau chief Carolyn Ryan of helping to turn the paper into a ‘megaphone for conservative propaganda.”

    David Brock’s war against the New York Times just went nuclear — and the paper is responding with equal fury.

    Brock, the former right-wing journalist-turned-pro-Clinton crusader, takes aim at a top New York Times editor in a soon-to-be released book obtained by POLITICO. In the book, titled “Killing the Messenger: The Right-Wing Plot to Derail Hillary Clinton and Hijack Your Government,”
    Brock accuses senior politics editor and former Washington bureau chief Carolyn Ryan of helping to turn the paper into a “megaphone for conservative propaganda” by unfairly targeting former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton…

    A spokesperson for the paper — responding to inquiries sent to Ryan —emphatically denied Brock’s allegations and accused him of embarking on a politically motivated crusade to discredit accurate, fair-minded reporting.

    “David Brock is an opportunist and a partisan who specializes in personal attacks,” Eileen Murphy told POLITICO in an email.

    tl;dr: Get the popcorn–this catfight ought to be epic!

    • Biff52

      Their version of a “retraction?

    • ShelleysLeg

      Wasn’t Carolyn Ryan recently demoted for her lying slanderous pieces on HRC?

      • Playonwords

        Probably demoted in the same way that Rebekka Brooks was “demoted”

        • ShelleysLeg

          EXACTLY!

      • JaaaaaCeeeee

        Nope, I think she is now top political editor, in charge of blacking out/blocking/dismissing Bernie Sanders:

        http://publiceditor.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/09/09/times-senior-editor-carolyn-ryan-on-sanders-coverage/?ref=topics

        • ShelleysLeg

          Oh good, we’ll get to read some new made up hit pieces….except I won’t since I don’t read trash.

      • Callyson

        Good news and bad news:

        N.Y. Times D.C. shakeup: Carolyn Ryan out, Elisabeth Bumiller in as bureau chief

        Hurray!

        Ryan to focus on 2016 campaign

        Oh, for fuck’s sake.

        • Vecciojohn

          “I think we were very deferential because … it’s live, it’s very intense, it’s frightening to stand up there. Think about it, you’re standing up on prime-time live TV asking the president of the United States a question when the country’s about to go to war. There was a very serious, somber tone that evening, and no one wanted to get into an argument with the president at this very serious time.” – Elizabeth Bumiller on why she is unfit to write for a high school paper, let alone the “paper of record”*

          * insert vomiting noise here.

  • OooShiny

    “There is only mockery…”

    Your blog sucks, NYT.

    • A little mockery from the New York Times might have prevented a few wars.

      • zerosumgame0005

        a bit more truth instead of reprinting BS and lies from Dumbaya would have helped…

  • Vegan and Tiara

    Isn’t this the newspaper that was accusing Hillary Clinton of crimes that they were imagining? Also, this too: “There is only mockery, backed by certainty that the reader shares the author’s contempt.” Ummm…DUH! Not only do we share the author’s contempt, but we look forward to her recipes and mommy bloggings as well.

    • zerosumgame0005

      not to mention being a major cheerleader about the Iraq war

  • HITO

    Fuck Dan Brooks and his condescension. Easier for him to critique at a glance rather than spend an extra 5 minutes reading the entire Schoenkopf article, which was brilliant, imo.

    Banksy must have drawn this one just for Brooks:

    http://cdn.theatlantic.com/assets/media/img/posts/2014/11/Screen_Shot_2014_11_03_at_3.03.18_PM/9e091e894.png

  • This insult to Our Wonkette will not stand! We must take up arms and.. sayyy, 20 Hot and Sexy Selfies That Will Make You Sweat? Tell me more…

    • TheBidenator

      I’m still stuck on the Wow! You won’t believe what these girls are wearing to burning man article….seduce me, weird hippie chick in the pic.

      • tinywriting

        ‘Sex is really all in the hips’

        You wish, boner ad boy.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      I want to find out what 20 hot, dumb girls did that I won’t believe. I’d also like to know what it was that the photographer hadn’t bargained for when he was photographing all the hot cheerleaders. Did one of them have a ball sack?

  • TheBidenator

    Shameless Iraq War selling rag says what now?

    • Suttree

      Yup, I stopped reading them then. Fucking Bush propaganda machine says what?

  • HITO

    Those that can do and those that can’t work at the NYT.

  • KatieAnnieOakley

    Just a shade bitchy? I’d be insulted… that is, if I gave two fucks about the NYT and their soggy-ass grapefruit. Big Words mean little when your tight-ass can’t appreciate a good broomsticking from yer Wonkette.

    • eddi

      To them New York’s literary scene is still the center of the universe. Pathetic as all has-beens are when complaining about how things have changed for the worse.

  • OneYieldRegular

    “…mechanically, artlessly, in a way that does not encourage the reader toward a deeper truth”

    That – and the “Get offa my lawn, you kids!” attitude – rather perfectly sums up why I gave up reading The New York Times nearly a decade ago.

    • JaaaaaCeeeee

      Bwahahaha at nytimes editors seeing it fit news to print, that Wonkette snark and sarcasm is unaesthetic, lazy, kitschy, formulaic, artless, industrially produced contempt that doesn’t rise to even the level of satire, discouraging the reader from the deeper truths, truths like these.

    • coozledad

      ….in a way that does not encourage the reader toward a deeper truth, that I, Dan Brooks, can reveal. What is this deeper truth, you ask? Hoho. This deeper truth is behind the NYT paywall.

    • ShelleysLeg

      Those lazy ass Sunday NYT readers who take up residence right before brunch and then hog the booth for the next 3 hours were the libertarian bane of my waitressing days.

      They were also the type you could anticipate would ask for arcane things ONE at a time, saying ‘oh, by the by, would you happen to have any cornichons on hand or perhaps some find aged black cherry balsamic vinegarette? My eggs have grown quite cold as I peruse the editorials and the review of books and could use a good swathing of condiments’!

      I despised them and their miserly tips.

      • sw19womble

        But if they tipped you well, you wouldn’t be encouraged to find a better, well-paid job!

        • ShelleysLeg

          Well isn’t that some consolation…..I SO love the corporate mindset of fear, intimidation, promises that ‘someday’ you might be “ONE of us”! The ‘better, well paid jobs’ they hand out to us women college grads.

          Fortunately I was well tipped by others not so inclined to be pompous booth hogging assholes every single Sunday, while pretending to be intellectuals along the lines of Will Farrell’s ‘professa’ of love.

          And truth be told, I probably made a far better living waiting tables than straight jacketed into a cubicle with other corporate jackals.

  • tinywriting

    ‘…imagined getting drilled by the Daily Mail’

    …or at least Charlie Hebdo.

  • coozledad

    The style of Internet writing often called snark participates in sarcasm, typically by adopting the derisive tone of satire without the complex irony. You can find this sort of writing anywhere

    But you primarily find Dan Brooks’ style of writing in introductory comp at Overtly Earnest Feces Sacks University.

    • FlownOver

      As an alumnus of O.E.F.S.U. I must take exception. Go, you Fighting Coliforms!

      • Mehmeisterjr

        You just can never avoid offending somebody!

  • Bill Slider

    Dear Dumb Uncultered Blog of Bullshit,
    I like your style.
    Sincerely,
    Wonketterers

  • in the name of the moon

    “You damned uppity commoners, making sport of your betters with your “humour”. I have a mind to give you a damned good hiding, but instead I shall write a column two people will read (thanks Mumsy and Daddy!). I shall burn you with my wit and astound you with my cultural superiority

    • in the name of the moon

      god I’ve been disqused in the format there. I can’t fix it either.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Don’t ever use the carats. They’re html for “hey, computer, come and fuck up what I wrote.”

        • Amy!

          You can replace them. Instead of <, write &lt;. Instead of >, write &gt;. Then you can <strike>rule the <em>WORLD</em></strike>write whatever bogo-html you care to write.

        • They work for me, or perhaps all my posts look good to me but look like shit to everyone else. Hmm…

    • sarafina

      Tucker? Billy?

  • Vecciojohn

    The fuck . . . ? Is the whole thing any more coherent?

    • eddi

      Given the source? doubtful.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      The smart money says no.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Nah. Smarty pantsy argle bargle.

  • BehaveYrself

    Hm, the author refers to Wonkette (out of thin air) in a post on May 5, 2014. Is he trying to get your attention, Editrix?

    • Biff52

      Prolly not aware she’s all married up now.

      • BehaveYrself

        The vibe I’m getting is more of the annoying playground jerk who pulls the cute girl’s ponytail because he has a crush…

        • sarafina

          The NYT is frantically scrambling to regain relevancy. Unfortunately, they are emulating Trump and Cruz, who lost all humanity long ago.

          • BehaveYrself

            So, it’s like Cruz getting cockblocked from the Davis arms-up moment, where the Times is Cruz and Wonkette plays the role of a Christian bigot fake crying in a bad dress? Gotcha.

    • bobbert

      I’d guess it’s because Dr. Maddow has spoken approvingly of the mommyblog a few times.

  • Me not sure

    I don’t understand it. They have such nice crossword puzzles.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Wonkette does, indeed, fail to encourage us toward a deeper truth. The NYT should be grateful that Rebecca leaves them with something to do.

    • handyhippie65

      mebbe that is because the readers of the wonkette already understand a deeper truth, and are laughing at those still living in the shallow end of the thought pool.

  • Dee Andee

    And the readership of said mommy blog will surely increase due to this, when the bored and uninspired readers of that NYT column of journalistic/opinionated pigshit investigate, out of curiosity, yr Wonkette. Thanks, dumbasses! :D

  • Ricky Gay

    OMG, they even made Ann lift her head from the box o’ wine! http://althouse.blogspot.com/2015/09/the-defining-feature-of-kitsch-is-that.html

    • Biff52

      Those commenters, ugh!

      • Ricky Gay

        indeed… contemptuous and constipated!

        • Biff52

          And unaware that both Stewart and Colbert have moved on.

          • Ricky Gay

            and failing at both satire and irony, they go with smug.

      • sw19womble

        They remind me of a forum I once lurked in. Too cool for school.

    • Ann Althouse! Now that’s a blast from the past. I miss the days when seemingly all the lib bloggers got off on mocking her and James Lileks.

      • Ricky Gay

        good times

  • cousin itt

    The Guardian eats the NYT’s lunch and MoDo wears army boots. So there.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Spot on, mate.

  • Helena Handbag

    I’ve read the New York Times and even enjoy the crossword puzzle but I gotta say: not ONE DAMN DICK JOKE in the whole fucking thing. Totally useless except as birdcage liner. PFFTTHHTTT!!!11!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Fish come back to life and bite you if you try to wrap them in it.

  • JustPixelz

    “…which the very first commenter on their own website pointed out”

    What these “commenters” they speak of?

  • fka_donnie_d

    wow I dont even know how to even with these fucking people – like they seriously had nothing better to print?

  • witsended

    This is in retaliation to your vile attack on that great British institution the Daily Fail (PBUI) .
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqCha93nBTU

    • fka_donnie_d

      In fucking credible – Laurie is God

      • Helena Handbag

        He makes me moist in my downtheres.

  • Playonwords

    If you read the following carefully

    The New York Times was pleased with its decision. It ate its stupid gross breakfast and then wandered to its manual typewriter, which it was always lugging around with it on its travels so people would know it was a Real Writer, one who cared about Craft

    you will realise that the Auteurs of Wonkette are referring someone who regards themselves, not as a Writer, but as a self-effacing Wordsmith or, it might be better to say, Clause-wright; for wrights were the true humble artisans hewing to seemingly simple crafts that, to extend the metaphor, let the wheels of pre-industrial agrarian economies keep turning.

    • lesterthegiantape

      You know who ELSE was a big fan of Clausewitz?

      • sw19womble

        Young Jewish children around Hanukkah?

      • Shibusa

        Mrs. Clausewitz?

  • a constitutionalist group that recently interceded in a mining dispute in Montana

    Look at the hoity-toity New York Times, ripping off a Slate-pitch.
    ~

  • PirateCafe

    If only the NYT had a living brain.

  • ibwilliamsi

    Disdain from the NYT? We HAVE hit the big time, haven’t we?

    • dshwa

      Maddow said nicer things about us than them, so now they’re in a snit.

    • eddi

      They seem to be unusually touchy this week. They did a travel thing on Portland, Oregon and the locals went at the writer for a sarcastic remark.

  • handyhippie65

    the times knows yer name! hooray! but i’ll tell you this, i never ever gave the new york times any of my hard earned washingtons for any words they threw together. so, there, take that. :P

  • Helena Handbag

    This unprovoked attack on my Wonkette is an insult up with which I will not put! Good day sir I SAID GOOD DAY1!111

    • handyhippie65

      you know yer doin something right when they try to tear you down.

      • eddi

        And you know you have won when everybody gathers around and says nothing but glares angrily at the NYT.

    • lesterthegiantape

      This kind of invective arouses my amorous propinquities

      • eggsacklywright

        Zelda!

  • PirateCafe

    Wasn’t the NYT the paper of record and corporate co-founder of the Cheney War with Halliburton?

    • lesterthegiantape

      And they never did print Robert Redford’s exposé of the CIA even though all his colleagues were assassinated.

    • Well they did have a co-conspirator, The Washington Post.
      ~

    • Julia Oceania

      Judith Miller their (p)sycophantic minion.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      That’s the higher truth of the matter.

  • lesterthegiantape

    “The style of Internet writing often called snark participates in sarcasm, typically by adopting the derisive tone of satire without the complex irony. You can find this sort of writing anywhere, on almost any topic. Picking more or less at random…”

    Wow, author of piece wants to make very, very sure nobody thinks the NYT thinks Wonkette is special. A more randomly selected-from-anywhere website it could not have imagined. I mean it’s BARELY in the top 20,000 sites in the world, and only squeaks into the top 4,000 in the USA.

  • georgiaburning

    You know you’re hot when the rich snobby kids are putting you down instead of ignoring you.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Ugh. The New York Times apparently wants Wonkette to write Swift- or Voltaire-level satire — on nine or ten different topics in 20-30 installments per week. When they don’t even try it at all. It’s easy to be “correct” in your criticism when you’re essentially asking the impossible or making an inapt comparison (John Wick is no Hamlet).

    Shorter: if it’s so damn easy, why don’t you try it, NYT?

    Long live Wonkette!

    • Drew Miner

      I really liked John Wick.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Yeah but he was nowhere near as Shakespearean as Todd Courser.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          In The Scottish Play sense of Shakespearean.

          • Toomush_Infer

            So no True Shakespearean, then?…

          • Mehmeisterjr

            I will not be afraid of snark or dish,
            Till Birnam Forest come to Lansing, Mich.

          • OrdinaryJoe

            Lord and Lady Macsex.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      People who have no sense of humor grossly underestimate the effort it takes to be even somewhat amusing on a regular basis and they are blind to the value of making that effort.

    • malsperanza

      Wonkette does write Swiftian satire. This is what Swift would sound like if he were writing today.

      OK, Wonk doesn’t quite have Swift’s vocabulary, but then, neither did Alexander Pope.

  • cousin itt

    You want to fuck with Trix and the rest of the snark mob? It’s only fair you know the safe word is “rosebud”.

    • I thought that was the goal.

      • cousin itt

        I’ll bring the lube.

    • AnOuthouse

      Did I miss that meeting? The safe word is IMORTANT STUFF. I thought it was “pork chop”. I’ve been using ” pork chop” and it hurt. Next time the safe word changes, everyone needs to be alerted

    • toomanyrappers

      There’s a safe word? Why didn’t somebody tell me?

  • John Keenan

    If the New York Times had not instituted their new pay wall, which limited the amount of NYT stuff I could read to 10 articles a month, I may have never discovered Wonkette!

    The NYT’s new restrictive policy is working for me now.

    Read more Wonkette, read less NYT.

    Just a fact, or the law of unintended consequences at work.

    • Julia Oceania

      Doesn’t it say a lot that I have only managed to hit the wall on their 10 articles a month once? I wasn’t reading there much anyways.

    • BehaveYrself

      And remember that without a paywall, there’s damn little pay. Donate to the cause, pals.

    • vivian

      I think you’ve hit on it: they are in the business of reporting unintended consequences rather than reporting facts.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      It’s the invisible hand of the snarket.

      Note: This is a pun. It has no deeper truth.

    • Playonwords

      Just remember to click on the ads sometimes, Wonkebagos don’t pay for themselves

    • Beaumarchais?

      On the off chance that you’d like to read more NYT, use Firefox’s Private Browsing feature. The Times will only be able to count to 10 within the window you have open.

      • Axomamma

        As if.

  • Julia Oceania

    The poor NYT, they are going out of business and finding themselves being actively replaced by substandard mommy blogs that produce tripe that doesn’t even come up to satire! Those poor sweet dears! I am not going to claim to be a grand judge of satire, but The Wonkette makes me laugh, so I read here.

    • BehaveYrself

      Peggy, is that you? Are you running short on gin, dear?

  • Helena Handbag

    If it weren’t for Krugman, I would never read a word of the NYT online. That, and I spend wayyy too much time here at this mommy blog, recipe hub, and communist tea room.

  • Toomush_Infer

    If Wonkette allowed comments and one of its commenters happened to be from the NYT and that commenter never got any upfists (not one goddammit!) though they made ever so many comments, they might be tempted to go back to wasting their time at the NYT…..it’s a damn good thing Wonkette doesn’t allow comments…just sayin’….

    • Lance Thrustwell

      What are you trying to tell us, Toomush?

      • Toomush_Infer

        Today, we are none of us the NYT….

  • Aww, guess the Times ran out of societal disasters to blame on the millennials this week. Hopefully they have a backlog of atrocious avocado recipes and hate-sex Clinton fanfiction so they can fill the space.

    • dshwa

      Mo-Do does have a column tomorrow, so there’ll be some Clinton hate sex fanfic.

      • Takoma DC

        She’s pathetic.

    • Playonwords

      Guacamole with peas libels

    • Wasn’t it the New York Times that was encouraging us to put Legos and turnips in our guacamole recently?

    • Axomamma

      One of the few times I was on the Twitter and saw it explode with hilarity real-time.

  • dshwa

    Shorter times: Why can’t we get clicks online like a real blog.

  • Shibusa

    If Dan Brooks wants to really see snark, sarcasm, and a derisive tone of satire without the complex irony, maybe he should read few Maureen Dowd columns.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    If I were copyediting this NYT article, my red pencil would be worn down to the nub. Picking more or less at random:

    Picking more or less at random….

    In other words, not picking at random. The whole phrase is meaningless and useless except for the purpose of establishing the style of an old, windbag professor whose tenure has outlived his wits.

    But the inversion is applied mechanically, artlessly, in a way that does not encourage the reader toward a deeper truth.

    OK, give us an example of how you would have written this story (assuming you actually got off your duff and did some actual reporting) and of the deeper truth and Swiftian wit you would have dazzled us with.

    And anyhow, define “deeper truth.”

    Is it the deeper truth about Stalin that Walter Duranty found in the ’30’s by serving as Uncle Joe’s stenographer? Is it the deeper truth that Judy Miller got from her daily Cheney Administration spoon feedings? For a publication that has had and continues to have recurring problems with maintaining even the appearance of a shred of an approximation of accuracy, maybe you should nose around for the simple truth from now on and let the deeper part take care of itself.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Yowza !!!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Can I get an amen from the corner on this?

      • nightmoth

        Amen! (while doing a little holy dance)

    • Playonwords

      Sir Tim Hunt Libelz!

    • Beezelbubbles

      That’s going to leave a mark.

    • FeloniousMonk

      As an old windbag professor whose tenure has outlived his wits, I resent being compared to Dan Brooks.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        No slight intended to tenured professors but I doubt you are a windbag and your wits seem intact.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Damn, accidentally upvoted myself and didn’t even spot right away, Shouldn’t this be impossible? I am self-absorbed but not on a Trumpian level.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    This is what happens when you forget to pay the protection money.

    • Takoma DC

      Does that explain their incredibly “deep” investigative reporting into HRC’s emails?

  • Ryan Denniston

    Hey ,at least here we know we getting an editorialized take on the news of the day. The Times and the Post feel free to editorialize wherever they want without telling anyone.

  • Enfant Terrible

    Isn’t this a little like Joe Lieberman trying to diss Don Rickles?

    • H0mer0

      does anyone else have trouble distinguishing between Don Rickles and Ernest Borgnine?

      • Tansy Geek

        Well, they’re both dead, so maybe?

  • Gristle McThornbody

    Oh, now you’ve done it, Trix. You just showed all of us where to find the deep, socially relevant, grammatically pretentious analysis of current events we have all been seeking. Thank you, thank you, thank you! That rumbling you hear is all of us commenters stampeding over to the NYT for more.

    I almost fell asleep just reading the quoted sections of the article. The full thing would be coma-inducing.

    • vivian

      Our at least comma-inducing; it gave me pause.

      • Tallmutha

        The prose seemed very old-fashioned, almost like a period piece.

        • starfanglednut

          Perhaps the writer had a colostomy bag–a semicolon.

  • Drew Miner

    First they ignore us, then they make fun of our syntax, then they fight us, and then we win!

    • H0mer0

      then PROFIT!

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Why does that always come last?

        • Villago Delenda Est

          It’s the money shot.

  • vivian

    So a news organization that reports news badly focuses on a snarktastic blog to lament that the level of irony is insufficiently deep and complex to meet their standards? Pretty bold talk for a group of self-important stenographers complicit in guiding the nation into a disastrous war. I would dare venture that we do our job here better than you do yours there.

    • AnOuthouse

      All their completely untrue reporting about Hillary’s emails makes them part of an intellectual elite known as lazy lying sycophants.

      • AnOuthouse

        ^
        |
        Sarcasm, irony

    • Axomamma

      I was grateful when the NYT put up a paywall. Chances of accidentally reading more of their lies has decreased substantially. They keep having to revise their “is Hillary a criminal” articles. Currently they’ve rolled it back to “the FBI claims she did nothing illegal.” You would almost think the paper is allergic to the truth.

  • Jeff Ackerman

    Lets see if I understand this correctly, according to NYT writer the NYT is the intellectual’s sophisticated journal of record, and Wonkette is a lowly Mommyblog/recipe hub? I bet he’s so SMRT that he could pour pee out of a boot if the directions were written on the heel.

  • SadDemInTex

    I was done with NYT some time ago…this just confirms it.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Even my hamster doesn’t want to crap in it.

      • Toomush_Infer

        elitist rodent….

      • Playonwords

        Try the Daily Mail

    • OrdinaryJoe

      The NYT. What you get when all you have left is being the town scold.

  • Joshua Norton

    Heh. Little old us are being read by the NYT?

    [waves hand]

    Hi, motherfuckers!

    • Vecciojohn

      *flips bird, drops trou and moons*

  • Incoming Ham

    Damn, and here I thought all my irony was complex.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Your deeper truth being…?

      • Incoming Ham

        See, questions like that totally kill the irony

      • bobbert

        The NYT sucks deeply?

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Damn, that destroys my deeper irony. Well played, damn you!

      • Amy!

        I think “deeper truth” is how Brooks says “cunt”. But I’m not sure. We should check with LizzieTish.

    • Toomush_Infer

      geez. my irony board is flat….

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        Mine’s all rusty…

      • Playonwords

        God is an iron

  • Takoma DC

    NY wife? The Daily Mail? Au contraire mon ami! Paris Match.

  • Ginzberg

    I had trouble getting past “constitutionalist group”. Who knew the Oath Keepers were so hoity toity?

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Everything in the NYT reads like it was proofread by Peggy Noonan.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        “Another gin fizz, Manuel!”

      • Mehmeisterjr

        And since she works for the WSJ, totally ignored.

        Though, if she were employed as the copy editor for the NYT, who could tell the difference?

  • Joshua Norton

    Sarcasm is a natural fit for partisan news aggregators, because it relies on a calculated appeal to shared attitudes.

    Maybe it’s best for them to wank high-mindedly only in Mitt’s quiet rooms, and leave the real discussion to people who’ve been mugged by right-wing reality.

    • gene108

      Do right-wingers even do sarcasm? Most attempts I”ve seen of right-wing sarcasm just come of as insults to gays, minorities, the poor, etc.

      This is an area where both sides do not do it (sarcasm/snark). I think right-wingers are too rage filled to do snark.

      • Tansy Geek

        I don’t think most RWNJ have the intellectual capacity for snark. They keep running into Poe’s Law and outraging themselves at their own posts.

      • Joshua Norton

        The best example is when Fox tried to produce its own version of “The Daily Show”. It turns out the only material they could come up sounded more like their regular news, but they said it with a bigger sneer. Crash. Burn.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          The 1/2 Hour News Hour! Brought to you by the producer best known for the subtle comic stylings of “24.”

      • Emily Sieger

        sure. [racist/sexist/asshole comment] + [ensuing outrage] = “just kidding!”

      • coozledad

        Punching down is good enough for them. Anything smarter is too subversive.

        Whatever disease or wiring problems result in an empathy deficit also seem to rob the sufferer of self-awareness, which is crucial to cognitive development. The language skills also seem to top out in very early adulthood.

    • Tansy Geek

      It seems to work especially well for David Brooks

      • Joshua Norton

        Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong – a brief summary of every David Brooks column.

    • WampusKat

      “Sarcasm is a natural fit for partisan news aggregators, because it relies on a calculated appeal to shared attitudes.”

      In other words: “LIBRUL MEDIA! Somewhere there’s libruls on the Intertubes plotting against us! Kill them with fire!” Or whine. Because: “balance.”

  • H0mer0

    “There is only mockery, backed by certainty that the reader shares the author’s contempt.”

    Uh, huh, and your point?

    • berkeleyfarm

      My response was “And what was your first clue?”

    • Tansy Geek

      That pretty much sums up every blog ever, doesn’t it?

    • jmk

      New to the interwebz, are they? How cute.

    • riledupone

      The Wonketariat also shares the author’s (Becca’s) contempt for The Times.

  • berkeleyfarm

    I am so glad I wasn’t drinking something when I read that last sentence.

    • BattyKitch

      I’m so glad I was….

  • AnOuthouse

    “There is only mockery, backed by certainty that the reader shares the author’s contempt.”
    Yes, they’re on to us. What do they win?

    • coozledad

      Not only that, but we’ve purchased shares in the author’s contempt. The NYT should try this model, because the paywall hasn’t bought them shit, obvs.

      • AnOuthouse

        Cute baby pictures and made up stories about exploding servers so NYT reporters can buy RVs?

        • coozledad

          That is meta, and meta is the backbone of too much sarcasm. Why? Because Y is a crooked letter, son.

    • Toomush_Infer

      A mockery….

      • jmk

        One that looks nice…and not too expensive.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    The new motto for the Newh Yawk Tymes, by the way: We publish it, even if what we write isn’t right.

    • Tansy Geek

      Or it was “borrowed” from someone our writer couldn’t be arsed to credited or re-write.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    The NYT should just go fuck itself. Anyone who pays money to MoDo or BoBo or Chunky Bobo or the Moustasche of Understanding needs to go fuck itself. Again and again.

    • Tansy Geek

      Damn I took too long to type my not a comment.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    The style of Internet writing often called snark…
    Read more at http://wonkette.com/593880/new-york-times-says-wonkette-is-the-banksy-of-internet-writing#iTLrlGWWOLAz1zxD.99

    Is possible to get more Highbrow/Lowbrow than this? No. Also too, like so out of touch, we’re talking ten-foot pole and welder’s gloves…

  • Tansy Geek

    Tell me again the name of newspaper like entity that David “Bobo” Brooks, Peggy “Dolphins, Regan and gin” Noonan and Thomas “The Moustache of Wisdom” Friedman all write for? Three enormously talented writers with vast spaces for entertaining, some possessing great personal histories with dead presidents and all able to elicit tremendous wisdom from fictional common folks. Oops, I almost forgot Maureen “MoDo” Dowd’s obsession with the Clintons and abiding regret she never got to give Bill a blow-job.
    Was that snark enough for you uptown bitches? Don’t even get me started on the Sunday Style section, or all your hipsters will be wearing Carhart over-alls next spring.

    • AnOuthouse

      With Straw hats like that fashion trend setter Mr. Kim Davis.

    • Tallmutha

      Actually, “Dolphins” dispenses her wisdom all over the pages of the Wall St. Journal. Can’t blame you for not remembering caring, though.

      This comment has been brought to you by Pedantica, Inc.

      • Tansy Geek

        Ugh, she was the one person I did not verify as writing for the NYT. Should I edit ?

        • Tallmutha

          What would the NYT do?

          • Tansy Geek

            Print a sort not retraction on page 23 in one or two days?

    • bluicebank

      Quite. And how does the doddering old Grey Lady defend itself from widespread snickering and criticism of said hacks?

      With quiet dignity and grace.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUifcQ3QO_k

      • Playonwords

        The wonderful and sadly missed Marty Feldman

  • Playonwords

    The New York Times, the Paper of Record – because all these cassettes and CDs and Streaming will never take off or give the same level of authenticity as a recording direct to wax by a true artiste

  • gene108

    When I click on Wonkette, I get a note by the banner that goes “Nasty Vile Little Snark Mob”, which should give a critic pause for what this here mommyblog, recipe hub and dick joke dispensary strives to be.

  • Takoma DC

    Oh they’re just upset because of yesterday being the anniversary of when Jesus and Santa cried. That and their once being the gold star ‘newspaper of record’ now a sad shit rag…..and they still have student loans and their coke dealer to pay.

    • LarkintheAM

      Not to mention Dame Peggington’s gin bill.

  • Emily Sieger

    in which evolves a new term: “Timesplaining”, for clueless WTFing in a faux-sardonic, not-witty manner

  • gene108

    If the NYT wants on-line satire go to the “The Daily Currant”, The Global Satirical Newspaper of Record.

    http://dailycurrant.com/

  • Msgr_Moment

    In the dictionary, “sarcasm” is still defined as the use of irony to convey contempt.

    Ah! The dictionary as reference source: the first refugee of the undergraduate.

    • Playonwords

      Burn!

      • H0mer0

        good thing he wasn’t using the Hungarian-English phrasebook which translated “which way to I go to get to the train station?” into “please fondle my bum.” (I actually told the guy at the Apple Store in Budapest about that sketch. I’m not sure if he was amused)

        • RoyalUglyDude

          “My hovercraft is full of eels.”

          • LarkintheAM

            A légpárnás hajóm tele van angolnákkal.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Now do, would you like to come up to my place big boy bouncy bouncy

          • “I prefer to scuba dive for my own eyeballs.”

  • Beowoof14

    Gee a critic, someone who does nothing other than bitch about the work of others. Well Mr. Critic, can I suggest focusing some effort on your paper of misrecord. Oh and don’t forget Jayson Blair on line one for you.

    • HeywoodJablomey

      From the referenced article:
      “How wonderful it must feel to go to “Dismaland” and see through society! But how awful to see society embrace art that makes you feel nothing, that makes you think only about the vast chasm between you and everyone else.”

      How awful for this gasbag to pontificate about Dismaland when he’s not seen it for himself. How awful of Brooks to denigrate people that love Banksy’s work because they are not aesthetes, such as himself. How awful to draw erroneous parallels between irony/sarcasm and kitsch.

      • Msgr_Moment

        Plus, his sarcasm sucks.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          That’s sarcasm? Hrm. Maybe it is a bit too artistic for me, but it seemed more like pouting and whining.

          • handyhippie65

            so, it’s not just me.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            Not at all. You fit right in.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            But it achieves a higher pout and a more elevated whine.

          • riledupone

            The kind of whine that requires a sommelier.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            I’m beginning to become a sleepy sommeillier

          • Land Shark

            whimpering too also.

  • Lizzietish81

    Does this count as making it? Did they correct your spelling at least?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I’ll MLA style sheet their asses in a nanosecond, and have time left over for a three course brunch.

  • Lizzietish81

    Imagine what he’d say about the comments….if they were allowed.

    • coozledad

      He’d make invidious comparisons between Wonkette comments and the strict Constitutionalist comments of Youtube.

  • LarkintheAM

    Bird cage liner sez whut?

    • Enfant Terrible

      No self-respecting budgie would poop on that paper!

      • handyhippie65

        but a wise cracking parrot, on the other hand…

        • Celtic_Gnome

          A friend has an African Gray who does the best R2D2.

  • marxalot

    “Satisfied, it went to bed, where it made perfunctory love to its wife,
    who lay back and imagined getting drilled by the Daily Mail.”

  • Written like someone who hasn’t actually read Swift or Voltaire since sophomore year of college, if then.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      My old English Major/French Minor nerd is kicking in here. Swift and Voltaire are high standards in satire. But. Their great masterpieces aside, there is a lot of dross among that gold, as there inevitably is if you write enough to get noticed. I’m sure that, in their time, they were regarded as vulgar and awkward little kitschy pissants. Didn’t Swift’s political satire land him in hot enough water that he was shuffled off to Dublin? Wasn’t Voltaire chucked into the Bastille?

      I don’t recall that either of them expended precious cultural warriorage complaining about artistic events that they had not themselves even witnessed.

    • Amy!

      He’s the best of all possible journamalists.

  • nightmoth

    Gray Lady has dementia? So sad.

    • PirateCafe

      Doesn’t she turn tricks for WATBs and RWNJs.

  • I always liked the New York Times, and so I often tended to overlook their pretentiousness , even convincing myself that it had a certain charm. But damn, this was pompous, even for them.

  • Takoma DC

    It’s difficult to believe a gentry person from the big city broadsheet used precious inks and blotters on their Royal type’O’writer to castigate and complain about Wonkette?

  • azeyote

    sounds like something Noonan or Brooks would write – seeing it wasn’t even some of the real snark that our beloved Wonkette could come up with –

  • Rick Hill

    “There is only mockery, ”

    Isn’t that the point? We’d all have to go out and get edumicated if we wanted to do something else.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The NYT is something that needs to be mocked, and mocked often. It’s a propaganda rag for parasites.

      • Rick Hill

        But that would take….effort.

    • handyhippie65

      i gots me edumacated, thet’s how i knows they be that proper-gander thingy fer the greedy. yes, it is fun to point and laugh at the ignorant, but that is not all we/they do. there’s the dick jokes fer one.

  • Pseudonym

    Oh the incivility! I’m getting the vapors!

    • handyhippie65

      the fainting couch is in the corner, your wonkette thinks of everything.

  • ZJDP04 – WA

    What exactly is a mommyblog?

    • Takoma DC

      It’s a mommy you wanna’ B.L.O.G.

      • Bite, Lick, Orgasm and Groom?

        • Takoma DC

          Exactly!

          • Last Hussar

            Thank the FSM we don’t allow comments.

          • morriganinoregon

            that’s what I thought! But yet. . .I get confused

        • handyhippie65

          i’m sayin. i’d marry my flirty boss too if she looked like that.

    • jmk

      This is.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Talk vernacular to me.

  • Glock H. Palin, Esq.

    Oh thank god. From the headline I thought the Times was praising this this place, which would make me seriously reconsider my participation here.

    • handyhippie65

      the enemy of mine enemy is my snarky friend.

      • stevola

        That’s snark mob mentality. The vile and nasty kind.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          My favorite kind.

    • morriganinoregon

      see? that is what I thought, too! that somehow our little oasis here had jumped the shark!
      Whew!

      • Rotisserie Teal

        Only Rachel Maddow loves us….and that is more than enough for me.

    • Takoma DC

      Don’t worry. You’re still Johnny Depp pre Pirates of the Caribbean franchise.

  • Takoma DC

    I hope Banksy graffiti-jismzs all over their ugly building.

    • brucej

      That would actually make the building worth something, alas….

      • Takoma DC

        Oh the deep irony!

  • jmk

    “…because it relies on a calculated appeal to shared attitudes.”

    Quel horreur! Good thing the NYT – a paper that publishes daily “aren’t we just so hip and trendy here?” fashion and society stories – would never stoop to a “calculated appeal to shared attitudes.”

    • Lizzietish81

      Are they suggesting that this is an echo chamber?

      • JustPixelz

        Yeah. What LT said!

        • Lizzietish81

          Howard Johnson is right!

          • Rotisserie Teal

            rahhrraaa

          • jmk

            You’re ALL right!!!

      • stevola

        Are they suggesting that this is an echo chamber?

        • bozilingus

          This is the portrait gallery.

          • Beulah

            Get your hands off me!

          • Msgr_Moment

            I thought we were in the aviary, studying trees.

  • proudgrampa

    Satire is hard.

    • cheetojeebus

      and glistening with the dew of disdain as it…..

  • Beezelbubbles

    Hey NYT, here’s some irony for ya:

    A traffic jam when you’re already late
    A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
    It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
    It’s meeting the man of my dreams
    And then meeting his beautiful wife.

    • stevola

      This is not my beautiful wife! Oops, wrong song.

      • H0mer0

        same as it ever wuz…

  • Esteban Rey

    I’m glad they took a break from their backpedaling and apologizing to accuse someone else of doing journalism bad.

  • Last Hussar

    Thanks getting screwed by the Daily Mail? About time, we’ve been getting screwed by the bastards for years.

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    They’re just jelly because they suck on a metaphysical level.
    And a mental level.
    And an emotional level.
    And probably a physical level, but allegedly only if you pay them lots of money first. So a friend of my brother told me.

    • lesterthegiantape

      David Brooks brought to his knees? It is to vomit.

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        Well, maybe he likes to lay down instead, you know. Lil dip and spit. I ain’t judging

        • lesterthegiantape

          Thanks, now I’m dead from horror.

          • starfanglednut

            RIP. It was nice knowin’ ya.

        • stevola

          Ew.

    • vivian

      They even suck pataphysically, but mostly they just suck themselves.

      • Takoma DC

        Yoga studios in NY are RAD!!! Reknowned for their unique classes like:

        The 1st Chakra – Suck Your Own Dick Asanas – Namaste You R Gay – Drop-Ins OK!

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Special Judges’ Aaward for Alfred Jarry reference!

      • Mehmeisterjr

        I think I saw that in an old cartoon where the dog eats himself from the backside foreward.

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    I shall not be sarcastic. I shall only tell the plain truth. “News papers” have become an anachronism in today’s society. I very much understand, therefore, the desire to strike out at new media that are surpassing the old and outdated ways of delivering the corporate/government approved information, that a few powerful and wealth editors once decided was what everyone needed to know. Unfortunately, these old rags are now populated by an increasingly marginalized bunch of self-important prigs who are, in the vernacular, as dumb as a bag of (insert favorite descriptor here).

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Hammers? Tire Irons? Relatives of the thing that lives on Donald Trump’s head?

    • Takoma DC

      Palins

    • Takoma DC

      Boehners?

    • Takoma DC

      Huckabees?

    • TuscaderocommaPinky

      Oooh! I know! DICKS. It’s DICKS. The writers are dumb as a bag of dicks. (Crosses arms and smiles.)

      • Querolous

        At the NYT, that would be a boutique bag of albino albanian rat dicks lightly seasoned with halal Himalayan pink salt.

        • cousin itt

          The Albino Albanian Rat Dick Protective Society and Washington Advocacy Committee strongly object to the association between albino Albanian rat dicks and the Old Grey Ladies of GILF Porn featuring Himalayan pink.

        • bobbert

          Encased in a $45.6M condominium.

    • riledupone

      GOP preznidential candidates?

    • Left Coast Tom

      Newspapers like the NYT still have, at least some, money, and reporters, and other assets. I’d much rather see them use those assets in ways that the internet can’t replicate. For example, real investigative journalism takes lots of time and money. On the other hand, they should probably fire the entire op-ed staff, sadly that would include Krugman but at least his real job is being a professor. “Opinion” isn’t something for which we need a “newspaper of record”, if it comes to prioritizing that against investigative journalism.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Investigative journalism costs money. Expert copy editing costs money. Belching out Op/Ed articles about imaginary cultural wars costs next to nothing. Shareholder value über alles.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          “Shareholder value” has become a euphemism for “take the money and run”. It reduces the entire effort to nothing more than the most vulgar of enterprises, bereft of soul, feeling, or accomplishment.

  • Relativicus

    “Picking more or less at random…”?

    Seems to me if the NYT is going to base an entire opinion on one sentence, the NYT should at least have some idea as to how it came upon that sentence.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I keep revolving around that phrase. He couldn’t quite bring himself to say “at random” without adding the half-baked equivocation “more or less” which invalidates the idea of randomness. He achieves a higher bullshittiness that I associated with only the most confused word-abusers.

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        I thought it meant that he zero’d right in on that specific article and that specific line of said article, to pick out at random and thus it was not random at all and that was the extent of his wit, to say it was more or less random?

        • Mehmeisterjr

          I guess I more or less don’t understand what he was more or less saying about more or less randomly finding what he was more or less talking about. [Spinning out the door like a drunken dervish.]

      • Left Coast Tom

        “more or less” which invalidates the idea of randomness

        MATH LI… … well, not libelz really, just math…

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Thanks for the math backup although I don’t subscribe to all mathematical formulations when applied to grammar. For instance, in the vernacular, the old song “I ain’t got nobody” still means “I have nobody,” even if you added “nohow, ain’t happening” at the end.

          Weaseling equivocations, though, just undo what they just asserted.

          This is basic Strunk-White.

          • H0mer0

            “But weaseling is important to learn, it’s what distinguishes us from the animals—except the weasel.”

  • gingerland62

    Are you sure he wasn’t wearing a Nehru jacket? It is slightly more pretentious than a Mao. Isn’t the NYT wrong all the time now, about everything?

  • Rutabaga64

    A gold star for this article simply because of the picture of Arthur Darvill you used. I miss Rory (and Amy) so bad. *cries*

  • Spurning Beer

    Does Hillary Clinton by any chance use this “snark” you speak of? If so, have federal agents initiated an investigation? Because that might make a good headline with complex irony and plausible deniability in The Newspaper of Record.

    • Left Coast Tom

      …and if that doesn’t work, it’ll certainly be good for several Maureen Dowd columns. Because HiterlyHillary.

  • They’re just jealous of the MOST ADORABLE BABBY EVER!

  • morriganinoregon

    “Ah,” I would conclude “sounds more like sour grapes than sour grapefruit!”
    having amused myself yet once again, I move on to other articles on the site.

    • essbird

      Be careful of self-amuse.

      • morriganinoregon

        I think you have that confused with ‘self-abuse,’ no?

        • Querolous

          Confused?

        • FauxAntocles

          Po-tay-to, po-tah-to

  • George Curran

    “F*ck this, where’s Wonkette,” says the weary reader, exhausted by the NYT’s ironic lack of self-awareness as it drearily explains the joke that went over its head about a subject it knows nothing about.

  • JoeChristmas

    This is almost as devastating as the Jack Stuef Panic of ’10!

    • Historicat

      Good times.

  • Juan de Fuca

    Dan, do you wonder why any of the writers at this blog pull around 300-400 comments per story and you receive only a handful at your own? Could it be that nobody likes your dry observation and failed attempts at living life 10,000ft above the rest of us?

    Anyway, this line is as good as it gets: “Satisfied, it went to bed, where it made perfunctory love to its wife, who lay back and imagined getting drilled by the Daily Mail.” Now THAT is funny! Much funnier than Mitt Romney for fucks sake…

    http://combatblog.net/?p=6750

    • Thaumaturgist

      Water boils faster at 10,000 feet. Air is thinner. Dan might do better if he got down to earth. Think?

      • Juan de Fuca

        He might benefit from a change in elevation. Shame because he is obviously intelligent and seems to be a good writer…he’s simply boring. Different stokes, different folks.

        • Axomamma

          “Obviously intelligent and seems to be a good writer” – facts not in evidence.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    The Old Grey Lady is Undead. It’s like something out of a George Romero movie. It kind of looks like a newspaper still, but it’s only interested in eating your brain now.

  • Takoma DC

    I have discovered a writing style, an author’s voice which is an excellent sleep inducer, as well as a potent compliment to any weight-loss program.

    Why don’t you bop on over to the New York Times Magazine and read my essay about Banksy, sarcasm and kitsch? That’s the actual good news today, and I’m very excited about it. I think this one captures something I’ve been trying to articulate about how we use the word “sarcasm” online, be it in news-aggregator sites, memes, or Ok Cupid profiles. I think sarcasm is our kitsch. That’s the kind of statement I consider bold and exciting, but maybe the internet is not as concerned as I am with our emotional relationships to various categories of art. Still, “Banksy and the Problem With Sarcastic Art” is total clickbait. Click it up, sluts. Why don’t you try sharing it, so we can both be smug early adopters when it goes viral?

    NYT’s Dan Brooks

    • Mehmeisterjr

      <blockquoteI think this one captures something I’ve been trying to articulate….

      It think it doesn’t. Keep trying to articulate. Or not, I don’t give a fuck.

    • coozledad

      Maybe the internet is not as concerned as I am with our emotional relationships to various categories of art.

      Translation: The internets doesn’t want my masterbait.

    • starfanglednut

      “Sarcasm is our kitsch?” What does that even mean?

      • Tallmutha

        I’m too excited by its boldness to care!

      • Takoma DC

        It means the author is reaching desperately to sound hip and cool and relevant. I believe bad writing is the kitsch of our times.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      dude, he called his readers sluts and suggested they could be smug early adopters o.O
      All three of them.

  • Wendel

    Don’t sell the NYT short. It has the best comedy writers in the world, for example, Brooks, Friedman, Noonan, Douthat, etc.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Dowd…never forget Dowd…else she’ll write a 1,000 word column about how terrible you are. So many words.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        So little content.

      • Wendel

        She was left off on purpose because she is sometimes intentionally funny. The others never are.

  • CripesAmighty

    Peggy must have stopped by to pass the pitcher around.

  • toomanyrappers

    Of course! The New York Times doesn’t actually suck; instead, they publish subtle–cleverly elegant–irony that the (low brow) unwashed masses, like me, cannot (possibly) comprehend.

    • jmk

      All while complaining about the “calculated appeal to shared attitudes” on mommyblogs.

      • H0mer0

        calculated appeal? Duh!

        One day a number of years ago, I sat in front of the telly and wondered what was going on in the world and the only thing in the news hour after hour was the story about the guy arrested in Singapore who tried to get out of deep shit in Singapore by confessing to Jon Benet Ramsay’s murder so he could be extradited to the US, etc. I finally caught The Daily Show which wasn’t lock step with the rest of the TV media. Same with the newspapers marching us into a war that made no sense, making it seem like no one else but me doubted the wisdom of dumping billions of dollars into yet another part of the world where we

        had no business telling people what to do.

        Also too on the calculated appeal thing (Madison Avenue didn’t make the bucks without calculating), some of us just like to get to the sexually drive motive in any story. That’s sometimes what gets us out of bed in the morning.

  • stevola

    What good is a newspaper without comics?

  • StThomas

    “Drilled by the Daily Mail” is the most perverted thing I’ve heard in some time. Keep up the good work.

  • Jukesgrrl

    … and the New York Times is the Judith Miller of intellectuals.

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    Any press is good press, Rebecca.

  • docterry6973

    Pffft. I bet there was not one buttsechs joke in the entire Times today.

  • “But the inversion is applied mechanically, artlessly”

    Holy shit…pompous much? Fuck them. We’re on the front lines trying to contain the assault by the Idiotcracy and they’re poncing about like a fucking jazz critic.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      The lost their collective shit back around 2002. I said it once here, and I will say it again, Krugman is the closest thing they have to somebody with any integrity left that writes for them any more.

      • Left Coast Tom

        Their wine writer keeps writing up the urban wineries in Oakland and, especially, Berkeley. Which is cool…these are some very nice wineries. However, I keep envisioning New Yorkers flying to CA, showing up in former-warehouse areas of the East Bay (where these wineries are), and wandering aimlessly around, wine glass in hand…

        • berkeleyfarm

          Hahahaha

          Reminds me I have to do the St George tour some day. Used to haul people to Rosenblum when I didn’t feel like driving to Sonoma.

          • Left Coast Tom

            St. George is nice. And, bonus…Rock Wall is the new Rosenblum (Kent Rosenblum sold to Diageo, then formed Rock Wall where his daughter is winemaker).

            EDIT: In any case, Broc and Donkey and Goat, in Berkeley (which said writer seems to like), are worth a visit as well, their styles are very different than Rosenblum/Rock Wall. They tend to prefer wild yeast, more biodynamic wines, etc., and their grapes come from cooler growing regions (particularly Donkey and Goat, which prefer Andersen Valley and Camino). And they are just around the corner from Eno/Lusu, so…bonus wine!

          • berkeleyfarm

            Glad to see Camino getting some love in the wine world. I’ve been drinking Sierra foothill wines for years (Sierra Vista is one of my favorite labels). And I enjoy the fine products of the AV. So I will have to check D&G out. Half the fun of wine tasting for me is getting out of Dodge and seeing some countryside, but I can deal.

          • Left Coast Tom

            Sadly, “El Dorado” on a label typically means “Camino”, so it doesn’t get the attention it should. Further south, it’s “Fairplay”, even though still within El Dorado (and even there, some wine makers seem to feel they don’t get the attention they deserve). And I love the Syrah and Barbara from Amador’s Shenandoah Valley – at least the Barbara is getting attention.

          • berkeleyfarm

            Sierra Vista (which I mentioned) is off Pleasant Valley with a Placerville mailing address so definitely Camino-adjacent. “Fairplay” sounds fun ;). Amador’s vineyards are getting smoked out right now … hope they can contain the fire SOON.

            Edit: if the NYT wine guy wanted to break some “news”, he’d talk about Sierra foothill wines.

          • bobbert

            Drytown Barbera (pre-smoke) has been one of my faves for three-four years.

  • Ooooh…I wonder if this will bring a higher class of troll to our dear Wonkette. Start greasing up the Banhammer of Loving Correction.

    • jmk

      Not so far… just the burbler of the piece in question.

  • Wendy Belgard Hanawalt

    Booo-yah.

  • Notreelyhelping

    Sounds like NY Times needs to take a sabbatical, find a cabin in the woods, and finish its fucking novel.

    • cousin itt

      Sounds like NY Times needs to take a sabbatical, find a cabin in the woods, and fuck themselves with Judith Miller’s IED dildo.

      • Creative As Well As HiLarious Both Ya’ll TY The Grey Lady Is An Old Bitter Shell(orCIAShill?) of It’s Former Self…& Little Writer Boy Is Latest Pedantic Example,(& I KNOW Pedantic- I’m Soaking In It )

    • Msgr_Moment

      I thought it was manifestos what got writ in cabins in the woods.

  • cousin itt

  • ScreechyHippy

    A possible clue (chosen more or less at random) as to why Dan Brooks might have “randomly,” “chosen” Wonkette: Per his blog’s “About Me” page, he is a freelance writer, lives in Montana, apparently in Missoula, where our Editrix and Pixel and babby are empixelated. http://combatblog.net/?page_id=2

    • jmk

      Local catfight?

      • ScreechyHippy

        He’s not in Trix’s league. From his “About Me” and “Hire Me” pages, he looks maybe a few years out of college, trying to scrape together some freelance income (he says he works for from $.27 to $2.00 a word, meaning, he takes whatever comes along). Getting published in the NYT is probably super duper validating when he brags when his friends come over to his mom’s basement.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          And now everybody points out how lame is column is?

          Hey, NYT, I can be incoherent at half the price. (Please ignore the previous coherent sentence.)

    • Takoma DC

      Looks like in Montana it’s legal to have a common law bike. I wonder if Huckabee on this depravity in Gawd’s Country.

      • 24601

        Can Steve King hook up with his lawnmower there?

        • Msgr_Moment

          Dear John,
          I never thought this would happen to me with a John Deere…

      • H0mer0

        does this mean your bike can inherit your estate and receive spousal benefits? And does it have to be a motorcycle or could it be a Schwinn or Vespa?

  • 24601

    The NYT should have printed the entire “Ted Cruz Gay Adult Film Title” comment section, if comments were allowed, which they are not.

  • 24601
  • This sure was a mocking, contemptuous post. At first I was excited somebody wrote something about my essay, but then it turned out to be about what a dick I am. I guess it was worth it, though, to get my essay about one sentence from a Wonkette article published in the Times. When I first pitched it, I was like, “essay about this one sentence!” But the editor was like, “Put some stuff in there about Banksy, kitsch, potentially imaginary trends in media and culture, and the problem of trying to like people even when you’re not crazy about what they like, for word count.” I’m glad the main idea still came through.

    • jmk

      Awww… were we supposed to feel honored by the reference?

      • Mehmeisterjr

        I am honored by the reference but only because I use that cheap sarcasm thing when confronted by nincompoops.

    • Tallmutha

      Oh my God–You are SO much bigger a douche than I had imagined.

      • WampusKat

        So, so, so much worse than you imagined: “All the World Needs Is More People Blasting Each Other in the Face with Guns” (by Dan Brooks, more or less): http://missoulanews.bigskypress.com/missoula/shoot-first/Content?oid=2430291

        • SnarkOff

          OMG! Holy shit.

        • YayConspiracy

          And the only thing protecting us from the limp sarcasm of a hypocrite, who’s trying to talk down to a blog he doesn’t like, is the funny sarcasm of a mommyblog.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            The thin snarky line of defense.

    • Juan de Fuca

      “At first I was excited somebody wrote something about my essay”

      You don’t say?

      • Mehmeisterjr

        And then I realized I looked, more or less at random, like a pathetic asshole who can’t write for sugar and had a sad.

    • SnarkOff

      Aw, Dan, don’t do this. Seriously, no good will come of it. Signed, a Wonkette commenter who is also a member of the MSM.

      • jmk

        Hmmm… he’s gone now. I wonder… did he jump, or was he pushed?

      • rebecca

        Guys what did I miss???

        • jmk

          Just some whinging and a heavy-handed attempt at sarcasm. Danny was bitching that you only focused on only one sentence of his piece. He found that frustrating.

          Isn’t that hilarious?

          • Mehmeisterjr

            One sentence chosen more or less at random? Now that’s hilarious.

          • Msgr_Moment

            I guess that in this case, raw irony leads us directly to one deeper truth. Danny Boy has a Backpfeifensgesicht.

          • bobbert

            What? Seriously?

          • H0mer0

            my Indian mom educated by the British in India would find that “ironical.”

            (It’s almost as if the British were setting up the Indians to speak so as to be made fun of in school; my grandma, when trying to ask me if the heat and the humidity in South India were bothering me (yes), asked me if I was “feeling sultry today.”)

          • rebecca

            Shy went and found the delete comment for me. I thought it was hilarious!!! He shouldn’t have deleted it. He being dan, I mean. Also I enjoy his work in our local weekly. I think he was just having Must Be Very Monocley Writing For The New York Times Syndrome.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Hopefully, we’ll see it in Doc’s compendium later today. Because when Dan here writes “Dear Shit fer Brains” it’s projection in its most textbook form.

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  • HolidayinCambodia

    Okay, I submitted a nice comment about Wonkette and us commenters. But since the Times almost never posts my comments, I’ll guess I see in the morning.

  • SnarkOff

    “Hey Wonkette! You got dissed in the New York Times! So what are you going to do now?”
    “I’m going to Dismaland!”

  • motmelere

    When did the NYT bitches ever talk to a neckbeard? If you want to hear about a banker’s take on America, talk to these journalists.

  • fka_donnie_d
  • Lambsendbeds

    Well, fuck the NYT…fuck them right in the ear.

  • DrV57

    “in a way that does not encourage the reader toward a deeper truth.” Dammit, where’s my deeper truth? I was PROMISED a deeper truth!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Read the small print. You were promised a derper truth.

      • H0mer0

        Why the fuck would I read Wonkette to be encouraged to a deeper truth? [I] couldn’t handle the truth!

      • DrV57

        Oh. Oooooohhh. My bad.

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  • SterWonk

    That picture is Rory Williams Pond LIBEL!!!

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      How long had he been waiting by that time? Looks tired…

      • Takoma DC

        It’s tightening the muscle to steady the monocle.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Eustace Tilley LIBELZZZZZ!!!!!11,1!,111,!<!111,!!!<!1111!!

          • Takoma DC

            Photo is of actor from Little Dorrit British mini-series.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            True, but the monocle reference begs for Eustace.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            How strange! I had a comment right here in which I said the monocle begged for a Eustace defense (or something to that effect) and I just saw it a few minutes ago and now it has disappeared. I guess Disqus is eating its own again.

          • Takoma DC

            Or The New Yawker doesn’t wish to be associated with this riff-a-raff, and is *disappearing* any posts related to Eustace, or The NYerrr.

      • SterWonk

        The clothing looks Victorian maybe? The Pandorica Opensed in 102CE, so that means he was guarding for about 1700 years at that point.

  • btwbfdimho

    Remember: yesterday’s NYT is fish wrap.

  • Sheesko

    Mechanical artlessness. God DAMN that’s sexy.

  • MilwaukeeKent

    Relax, the NYT didn’t sideways smear Wonkette as an official position of the NYT. The NYT paid Dan Brooks between $0.27 and $2.00 per word to do it, anally, in a Reverse Cowboy position, perhaps settling for a Cleveland Steamer, but it was still anal. Also too, we don’t know if that word rate is based on number of letters, syllables, reading comprehension level or on whether or not the check is likely to bounce. We all know that he could be making $98 an hour on a lap-top, even more on a mattress, so he is, like it or not, sacrificing for his art.
    The irony is that Dan Brooks isn’t a bad writer, looking at his blog; a tad pedantic perhaps, humorless at times, lost in the weeds at others (which in your shared part of Montana is probably easy to do). Like Wonkette, it appears he doesn’t allow comments.

    • bobbert

      I read that whole thing. It was pretty shaggy.

      On another note, I will be in Milwaukee this coming week, as previously mentioned, for my 50th HS reunion. Email me at strangelet at att dot net if you want to meet for a mini-wonkette-drinkup.

      • MilwaukeeKent

        Will do.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      That joke died for our sins.

    • H0mer0

      that story has a certain “Abbott and Costello” quality to it

      https://youtu.be/B01o2xtJwgk

    • Takoma DC

      I’m interested to know how to find the good in Brooky’s writing?

      • MilwaukeeKent

        Well now that I’m on the spot, without going back to his blog can’t think of any examples off top of head. Meant he has the skills of the craft, the writing is intelligent, but humorless and intolerant somehow. He did post a really funny joke by Norm McDonald (the “Moth Joke” from an appearance on Conan O’Brien), but that can be found elsewhere, like he did.
        In a final analysis, Dan’s just a buzz-kill, no fun at parties…

        • Takoma DC

          Ok thanks for the reply. I’ll try to reread when I’ve had ample doses of caffeine.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Whatever reputation the New York Times still has among the intelligentsia is based solely on people who only read it on Sunday for the crossword puzzle.

    • Msgr_Moment

      And — he, he, he — I work it a week later when it appears in the local paper.

  • Bob Harrow

    In a world of dying paper press schitsofranipsycosusmultidimetia is quite common. Its in the myer report…

  • goonemeritus

    They’re just jealous that our blog had a baby.

    • H0mer0

      and gets laid (not necessarily in that order.)

    • Serolf Divad

      The New York Times had William Kristol on its payroll for a while… doesn’t that count as having a baby?

      • MilwaukeeKent

        Is a baby always wrong?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        A whiny-ass titty baby, perhaps.

  • Last Hussar

    I think we should call ourselves the Snarkaratti

  • witsended
  • WampusKat

    “New York Times Says Wonkette Is The Banksy Of Internet Writing!”

    Take it as a compliment:
    “Banksy’s Dismaland: ‘a theme park unsuitable for children’ – in pictures”
    http://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/gallery/2015/aug/20/banksy-dismaland-a-theme-park-unsuitable-for-children-in-pictures

    You’ll be surprised to learn that NYT doesn’t “get” Banksy either:) “The Problem with Sarcastic Art”
    http://www.nytimes.com/2015/09/10/magazine/banksy-and-the-problem-with-sarcastic-art.html

    [tee hee]

    Besides, we’ve seen who writes for NYT these days… which is why we’re reading this instead of that and filling in the spaces with actual legislation over at Open Congress and scrolling through Congress critters’ voting records. Just sayin’… so look on the bright side. How many people will now ask, “What is this Wonkette of which you speak?” Free advertising:)

    • Villago Delenda Est

      There’s a reason why The Daily Show and the Colbert Report (and their many successful imitators) are so popular; it’s because the MSM’s product is boring and predictable, so transparently propaganda, so much like the old Soviet media. Those with critical thinking skills (like the members of the Wonketariat) see though this and laugh. Brooks and Friedman are running jokes here and elsewhere in the leftish blogosphere. Atrios openly mocks them all the time, as do Cole and the not-insane Charles Johnson, and of course Dok Zoom, Kaili, Evan, and above all our Editrix, who unleashes dripping disdain for them while still having a razor sharp sense of humor about it.

      Why does this appeal? Because it’s lively, irreverent, and not afraid to stomp on people when they get too full of themselves on our side of the aisle.

  • tiredofdogma

    Chill Wonkette – it’s all good. It’s like all the parents telling their kids “we didn’t have that crap in my day.” — in every generation.
    You are the masters of snark – besides, you have a lot more ads for boobs than the NYT.

  • Ilgattomorte

    I used to have the New York Times delivered regularly. Then one day they sucked, and not just the kind of weak irritating sucking that one can dismiss easily, but that heavy full-throated sucking that leaves nasty red bruises and gets you into a war in Iraq. I still read Wonkette daily.

    That, my friends, is the “deeper truth”.

    • proudgrampa

      I used to have the Sunday Times delivered. I found the same “deeper truth.”
      Now I get all my news, porn, book and movie reviews from Wonkette.

      • jmk

        With the added bonus of recipes and dick jokes also too.

  • That_got_me_thinking

    Yeah. Eschew the snark. Much better to embrace being a pompous git like Dan Brooks.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      With a pompous git for an avatar, you certainly know of what you speak!

      • That_got_me_thinking

        Need to change that! It is actually a pic from a different Twitter account I have dedicated to the hashtag #chuckchucktodd. No clue why it is showing up on the one I log into Disqus with :-(

        • Villago Delenda Est

          No, it’s just a wonderful little contrast between the avatar and your handle.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Dan Brooks needs some schooling on brevity. That’s a whole lot of bloviating to basically say “Get off my lawn.”

  • YayConspiracy

    Excuse me, Dan “Sarcasm-is-a-natural-fit-for-partisan-news-aggregators,-because-it-relies on-a-calculated-appeal-to-shared-attitudes” Brooks, perhaps you find time after you have dined on a fine Chateaubriand accompanied by an audacious Chardonnay to read ‘Dear Shit-fer-brain’ on Wonkette? You might be enlightened as to the calculated appeal to shared attitudes. Oh, and sir? Fuck you.

  • malsperanza

    NYT wringing its hands about snark again? Weren’t we all saturated with this pap by Jedediah Purdy and David Denby years ago? Maybe it’s time for Wonkette to start a regular NYT feature.

    Of course, its coverage of real estate, fashion, food, and lifestyle pretty much snarks itself. Nevermind.

    • H0mer0

      Kaili should syndicate her : “I’m Mad About a Thing!” I mean she’s hotter, smarter and funnier than MoDo. But then all of youse (Wonkette writers) are hotter, smarter and funnier than MoDo, BoBo, ToFri(I made that one up myself, still a work in progress suggesting I don’t quit my day job,) and Douche-hat. I still love me some leftist Jewish Krugman.

      • malsperanza

        Oh, I read the NYT every day and twice on weekends. I’m a subscriber.

        I’m grateful for the coverage of social and lifestyle topics because I use compostable nonplastic bags and I have to wrap the soggy wet trash in something before I dump it, or else they dissolve.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          The Sunday Times alone ought to do for a month… how much trash do you have?

  • WampusKat

    “I found this sentence from a Wonkette story about the Oath Keepers, a constitutionalist group that recently interceded in a mining dispute in Montana”

    “constitutionalist group”… sure, if by constitutionalist group you mean armed, bible-humping, white supremacist domestic terrorists.

    Are we CERTAIN that Dan Brooks of the New York Times isn’t just another Glenn Greenwald sock puppet?

    “Why Is Glenn Greenwald Promoting an Extreme Right Wing Militia?”

    http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/42504_Why_Is_Glenn_Greenwald_Promoting_an_Extreme_Right_Wing_Militia

    • H0mer0

      why is Glenn still complaining?

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      True story; I work in a place that is public land, in so much as the government owns it and trains people how to blow shit up on it, dig. Anyway, there is a pretty important historical site on said property and there is this local who insists it is his right to loot said site for profit because it is public land so therefore, his.
      Coincidence that said local is also a tea partier complete with yellow snake plate? I think not.

  • Msgr_Moment

    National Lampoon parody “Citizen Gaine” spoke of the downfall of another print institution what ain’t what it were:

  • Iam Reading

    Is this the NYT of helping the Cheney/Bush regime lie us into war in Iraq? If so, you will excuse me if I ignore the fuck out of tbem forever. Print media sold out to advertisers and havent accurately coverex real news in decades. I look forward to the interwebs killing these fossils off. Did it to yourselves bitches!

  • FZsdaughter

    you tell ’em, Becca! I’ll never subscribe! #dumpscookiesreads4free

  • Charon_69

    The ‘intelli-snark’ gathered here harkens to Molly Ivins’ “weapon of the powerless against the powerful”, and is the only reason I signed up for a comms service named for a misspelled Olympic event…all hail Wonkette!

  • WampusKat

    P.S. Wonkette, you do NOT want to be wandering into anther right-wing militia camp, or motel, or bunker… especially not with a baby in tow. You’re lucky all you got was thrown out.

  • DahBoner

    Grey poupon. The NYT invented it….

    https://i.chzbgr.com/full/4253642752/hA90FC8DD/

  • ZangoCrudmonger

    HST’s fondness for grapefruit sent me on a personal quest, but ended in terrible blackouts ‘cuz they’re only good when mixed with vodka. Anyhoo, the Times wears dickey collars, not turtlenecks, FWIW.

    • OneDemin EOr

      Sorry, their dickeys are still showing.

  • Jack Parsons

    If anybody would like to share the insightful comments you are all making (BRAVO everybody!), these people can’t figure out why they’re losing readers. Please let them know why!

    publisher@nytimes.com

    generalmgr@nytimes.com

    advertising@nytimes.com

    executive-editor@nytimes.com

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      That sounds suspiciously like work. We’re lazy liberal takers round here.
      How do you spell “Your poor news paper is acting like an old hooker, sorrowfully letting any hack mount her for a half off special” ?

      • Jack Parsons

        You spelled everything correctly. It would be nice if the people who need to see that did. I got a few actual replies using those addresses.

        To your point: I think they are increasingly more like the elderly toothless hooker who works for cigarettes.

      • OneDemin EOr

        If we were more energetic, we’d simply cut and paste your words.
        Nope, too lazy. Stuff it, NYT.

  • Rufus T. Firefly

    All the Snark That’s Fit To Type.

  • Emily Sieger

    oh you thought THAT was bad. Digby shared this Mediaite WTF about another NYTimes gem

    http://www.mediaite.com/online/new-york-times-invents-stephen-colbert-hummus-controversy-to-support-boycott-of-israel/

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Fucking Likudniks. Doing everything they fucking can to rehabilitate the Protocols of the Elders of Zion as a serious work.

    • Takoma DC

      I thought BDS was Bondage Discipline Snarkism?

  • LouiseLouise

    I’d say something really clever, ironic, complex and deep but the NYT in recent decades deserves notthing more than….You suck and everyone knows it…Murdoc is buying you next year.

  • HolidayinCambodia

    Well, although it took about 20 hours, the Times just posted my comment (not as HiC) to that story about how wonderful are Wonkette and the comments (which, I noted, are not allowed). The Times just got around to posting it. So, there’s that.

    So, if you subscribe to the Times online, please go and “Recommend” me, and maybe they’ll be more interested in posting my snarky comments about David Brooks, which they heretofore have declined to put on their comment boards.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      The NYT is very snark-intolerant. (Typical liebuls: they’ll stomp all over your First Amendment rights if you try to post it.)

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    As Trump might say: “The New York Times is written by very, very, v-ery STUPID people. Wonkette makes snarkiness so funny you almost get tired of laughing.”

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    BREAKING: New York Times to wed Dame Sister Peggington Noonhamptonshire of Our Lady of the Juniper Infusion in small, private ceremony.

  • edith prickly

    The NYT would soil its delicately handwashed silks if it ever got within speaking distance of an Oath Keeper. However, that would require it to find its way to Lincoln Montana first, which ain’t ever going to happen.

  • Indiepalin

    These are the same people who thought Tim Allen was funny.

  • thepoliticalcat

    Considering that these are the dim bulbs who sponsor MoDo’s giant bitchfest in the guise of satire, and all that. I mean, srsly? Who takes the NYtimes srsly any more? The recent hatchet jobs on Clinton should have put paid to any illusion of competence at the Thymes.

  • hollydturner

    OFFS…joke em if they can’t take a fuck

  • There is only mockery, backed by certainty that the reader shares the author’s contempt.

    Angry white guys with guns interfering in shit? Who could possibly have contempt for that?

  • I_Buttle

    Sweet Jesus. Someone getting paid actually wrote that pompous bullshit?!! And (even worse) NYT published it?

  • Tony Prost

    They hate you because they ain’t you!

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