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Like so many movies, most of Jones's ideas are bad adaptations of science fiction

One-man conspiracy theory clearinghouse Alex Jones wants you to know that he doesn’t care what you people are doing in your bedrooms. He thinks that all the foofaraw over same-sex marriage is a mere distraction from the real threats to freedom and liberty, which of course derive from the Power Elites’ plans to exterminate humanity and replace it with a docile race of cyborg slaves, which you would know about already if only you had been paying attention. But there you were again, asleep at the switch, or thinking about Caitlyn Jenner’s funbags.

It’s really quite simple, Jones explains:

Jones says that because he’s a libertarian and not a hypocrite, he has no interest in people’s sexxytime preferences, which is awfully nice of him, not just from the perspective of freedom but also because the market for crazy people obsessed with buttsex is already saturated.

Which is not to say that there’s not a larger agenda at work, but it goes far beyond the trivial Lisa Frank pictures of unicorns and rainbows of the gay agenda. No, Alex Jones wants you to know about the more sinister Trapper Keeper of the international plot to get rid of humanity, of which growing societal acceptance of gay buttsex is only a tiny part:

Now, the truth is, there is a move at the UN, there is a move to sexualize children, [Viacom CEO] Sumner Redstone has said that. And it’s nobody’s business to target children with Heather Has Two Mommies or “you can’t say boy or girl because somebody may not identify as that.” That is space-cult, suicide-cult, exterminism, craziness.

The eugenics, trans-humanist cult wants to confuse the general species ahead of rendering us down and removing us. The decision has been made. Cheer up, the post-human era is dawning. The plan is an asexual humanoid, even if they decide to keep us around, stated in hundreds of textbooks.

You see? It all makes perfect sex! Err, sense. One of Jones’s recurring boogeymen is the sci-fi notion that once all the global elites achieve their dream of uploading their brains into powerful computer networks, they’ll have no use for the rest of humanity, so they’ll exterminate us, or maybe turn some remainder of humanity into brainless Morlocks kept on to do some of the dirty work. And so it only stands to reason that Alex Jones is the real-world John Conner, trying to alert us to the rise of our man-machine overlords before it’s too late. We’re just too brainwashed to see simple truth when it’s right in our faces, in the form of a children’s book that suggests that families come in all different types. And if you watch MTV, you’re all drinking the poison-spiked Flav-r-Aid.

Just for the sake of our Sunday column, though, we sure would like to find some of those textbooks he’s talking about.

[RightWingWatch]

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  • For the record, I’m totes cool with the busty cyborg Betty’s as long as they don’t shoot me with their machine gun boobage.

    • Lizzietish81

      Just remember the Cherry 2000 doesn’t mix with soapy water.

      • willi0000000

        no peanut butter sandwiches for you!

    • Usedtobeyellerdawg

      Being threatened with gun boobies would definitely result in some confused feelings for me.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …now I’m confused!!! Are we all getting the “mark of the beast” or are we going to be hooked into the Matrix and used as a human power source?!?! These conspiracy theories are starting to run together

    • Viva La Tabula Raza

      There is no spoon.

      • Amy!

        The cake is a lie.

  • Dr.Zoidberg

    Finally! A use for the gays. About time they got off their lazy gay asses.

  • Spotts1701

    If he’s John Connor, I’m rooting for Skynet.

  • drbloor

    Do those robots take D or C cell batteries?

    Asking for a friend.

    • Nounverb911

      AAA?

      • drbloor

        By the fistful. So to speak.

    • JustPixelz

      They’re powered by humans kept in pods. It’s explained in the documentary “The Matrix”.

      • PubOption

        Don’t forget the earlier work Metropolis.

    • SecludedCompound

      Double D?

  • Msgr_Moment

    Post-human? Well, if it removes the derp, I’m all for it.

  • Lizzietish81

    Well it looks like someone just discovered the science fiction genre.

    • JustPixelz

      Shhh. He doesn’t know it’s fiction.

    • Reddishrabbit

      And apparently didn’t notice that fi in sci-fi stands for fiction.

    • I didn’t realize Diaspora was a how-to guide.

    • Jaime Oria

      UN mandated homosex for the entire planet? That notion’s been around since 1974 –

      • Amy!

        Excellent, excellent book. The buddhist assassin one is maybe better (can’t remember the title right now).

        • bobbert

          All My Sins Remembered?

          Also, I think my favorite Haldeman is Mindbridge.

          • Amy!

            Yes! It’s upstairs, mixed in with a thousand other paperbacks waiting for me to build shelves so that I can find one among the multitude. *sigh*

      • Doug Langley

        Great book.

      • Lizzietish81

        I would have expected something from Heinlein admittedly.

  • jesuswasablack

    I think Alex has been shopping for a “realistic sex doll” again!

    • Msgr_Moment

      According to a friend.

  • Dylan Black

    In related news, a silver suv-thingy passed me yesterday on I-40, had an INFOWARS.COM sticker in its back window. I must have giggled to myself for a good 30 seconds after seeing that. It makes the guy still rocking his Ron Paul 2012 sticker seem lucid by comparison.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Someone in my n-hood has one too, along with a sticker that says “At least the Gestapo KNOCKED”. Oy vey.

      • Redgyal

        n-hood? Is that where things are going these days?

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Shorthand can have unintended consequences. Thanks.

    • Catstro

      Someone with a Carson 2016 sticker passed me on the I the other day. I briefly sped up to see if I could get a glimpse of who was behind the wheel, but slowed back down after I realized that would be the stupidest reason ever to die in a car crash.

      • mtn_philosoph

        Yeah, and from what I hear Ben drives like a maniac anyway, so chasing it down would have been futile.

      • Dylan Black

        Haha I wonder if it was the lady I saw at the Hanes Mall a few months back, she not only had a Carson 2016 sticker but a bunch of campaign paraphenalia including giant pictures of Carson in her car. She caught me giggling when she came out to leave, saw my Obama/Biden 2012 magnet and asked me if I really thought Hillary would be a good president.

        I responded that I was still hoping for Liz Warren to run, I think that scared her even more.

        • CBloom

          I see you live in my neck of the woods. Except I’m up in the country near Mayberry. Take a drive a 1/2 hour north and you see all that and more. Confederate flags and Huckabee stickers everywhere.

  • HolidayinCambodia

    Oh, come on, Alex. Everyone knows it’s the Jews who are trying to destroy humanity for themselves.

    • SnarkTank

      What, the Jews can’t be ghey, also too?

      • Mehmeisterjr

        That’s called a Twofer.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          I need to brush up on my Yiddish.

    • It’s all part of the same conspiracy!

  • Now, see, I knew I would regret missing the last several agenda meetings. This is all news to me. Also, it sounds too complicated.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Alex Jones just wants to tie you up in endless meetings.

      • Me not sure

        …or just tie you up and do vile things

        • elviouslyqueer

          Ew.

          • Me not sure

            ….and there are Nazi flying saucers from the center of the Earth on which to do them.

      • You had me at “Alex Jones just wants to tie you up…” And by “had me,” I mean “made me barf.”

    • Dr.Zoidberg

      We sent you a memo! There were donuts and everything at the meetings.

      • Ilgattomorte

        Those weren’t donuts. MuuuHa Ha Ha.

      • elviouslyqueer

        Oh honey, no donuts. Carbs are like gay Kryptonite.

        • Dr.Zoidberg

          Oh, I didn’t know that. See, I’m not actually a gay, but they’re so hip and fashionable right now…I’m ashamed of my lies…

    • FauxAntocles

      Don’t worry your pretty little head. We’ve got it under control.

    • Me not sure

      *See section 12 , subsection b, paragraph IV, on page 3,456. of the third revised edition. Its all there.

      • It’s all so complicated. I still don’t understand what I’m supposed to be doing to my next-door neighbors’ opposite marriage.

        • elviouslyqueer

          You’re supposed to be inviting yourself over for a threesome, like any respectable hostess should.

          • In that case, I’d like to file a formal complaint about where I’ve been stationed. The husband does not look like the husbands in the training films, and even if he did, she never goes out of town to visit her mother and he never comes over to complain about how he’s not getting any head at home.

        • Me not sure

          Shhh. Keep talking like that and they’ll black ball you, and not in a good way.

  • Nounverb911

    Alex, as soon as you use the phrase ‘I’m No Homophobe’, you are one.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I don’t hate kittens. I just like to stomp on them.

    • CBloom

      It’s right there with, “I don’t mean to be racist, but….”

      • eddi

        The proper puncuation for phrases like that is a period. Applied vigorously to the frontal lobes until the mouth stops.

  • SnarkTank

    “Do Paranoids Dream of Electric Sheeple?” may be the best thing I’ve ever seen on Wonket. It’s at least in the top 5. And that’s saying something.. Bravo, Dok.

    • Msgr_Moment

      We would also have accepted “I whinge the body electric”.

      • SnarkTank

        Ah, but the implied (Philip K.) Dick allusion makes it even more better.

        • Msgr_Moment

          Simultaneous Ray Bradbury and [gay] Walt Whitman libel!

  • cleanfront

    I just hope these asexual humanoids will be able to wave the Confederate Flag in peace.

  • memzilla

    Alex Jones presents information in such a ham-brained, spittle-flinging manner that if I were a Cyborg Overmaster, he’s exactly the guy I would reveal my Secret Plans to. Everybody knows it was the wolf who hired the Little Boy Who Cried Wolf, right?

  • Beowoof14

    You know no guidance counselor ever told me about the opportunities of being a psychotic, lunatic asshole for pay. And yet here is Alex making tons of cash doing this shit.

  • JustPixelz

    “Cheer up, the post-human era is dawning.”

    Cheer up. Be happy and gay.

    • SnarkTank

      So it IS a requirement? I thought that was just a Republican scare tactic!

  • Left Coast Tom

    The eugenics, trans-humanist cult wants to confuse the general species ahead of rendering us down and removing us.

    How much do his listeners have to drink/snort for this to make any sense to them?

    • natoslug

      Given that ~26% of Americans believe the sun orbits the earth, probably not much. We wear our ignorance and gullibility with pride.

    • elviouslyqueer

      All of it, Katie.

  • goonemeritus

    Will the cyborgs be hot, because I want think the UN is a
    caring organization.

  • Jared James

    This is as close as I managed to find in a brief and not entirely sincere search, which I suppose they probably have hundred of copies in print? So yeah, basically the human race can hang it all up, take a jump to the left, and welcome our sweet transsexual overlords.

  • mtn_philosoph

    Today, we celebrate the first glorious anniversary of the Information Purification Directives. We have created, for the first time in all history, a garden of pure ideology. Where each worker may bloom secure from the pests of contradictory and confusing truths. Our Unification of Thoughts is more powerful a weapon than any fleet or army on earth. We are one people, with one will, one resolve, one cause. Our enemies shall talk themselves to death and we will bury them with their own confusion. We shall prevail!

    • Lizzietish81
      • mtn_philosoph

        This is something from 31 years ago.

        • Lizzietish81

          ? Link works fine for me

          Anyways, it’s a book, Nexus by Ramez Naam about a drug that allows interface with other people and computers and programs.

          It starts with a guy testing his new app, Porn Star, and it backfires on him causing him to flail about like an idiot just as a girl is going down on him. At which point, I knew I would like it

          Anyways its a great series.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            flail about like an idiot just as a girl is going down on him…

            That’s not supposed to happen?

          • Lizzietish81

            I’m not explaining it well, basically the program crashes mid coitus with hilarious results.

          • mtn_philosoph

            No, the thing I posted up top was the something from 31 years ago.

          • mtn_philosoph

            WestValley has always been at war with LakeSammamish.

            The score is 280 to 520.

          • mtn_philosoph

            It all started with a toss heard ’round the world.

  • schmannity

    Tell me more about this powerful organization called “The UN.” It must have a powerful army, robust currency, and massive economy. Clearly we are doomed to fall under such an mighty organization which is so unified in opinion and purpose, so unlike our fractious politics.

    • Barley_Brains

      The whole UN delegation can just barely muster the political courage to inhale and exhale. It is amazing how powerful these RWNJ asswipes seem to think it is.

      • eddi

        Their enemies are always simultaneously incredibly stupid and fraking evil geniuses. I have never really figured out how they do that. But even old anti-Semite stuff did it.

  • Pugsandcoffee

    It’s so weird how hard we’re supposedly trying to sexualize children. Oh, wait! I get it. Are they suggesting Josh Duggar is gay? That would make sense.

    • elviouslyqueer

      • Pugsandcoffee

        Oh. Maybe he means Subway Jared?

    • Lizzietish81

      He assaulted his sisters so…no

      • Pugsandcoffee

        useless detail. ;-)

        • Lizzietish81

          Please stop

          • Pugsandcoffee

            Are you for real? How about you please stop.

  • “27,000 quadloos against the bloated, bloviating hu-man!”

    • RoyalUglyDude

      “Provider One wages 50,000 quadloos that the wingnut will have to be destroyed.”

    • willi0000000

      what’s with all these super civilizations . . . they never heard of wallboard? . . . or rugs?

      • bobbert

        Rugs are probably low priority for disembodied brains.

        Now, a really classy toupee….

        • eddi

          That goes on a certain disembrained body.

  • LarkintheAM

    I wonder which controlled substances Mr. Jones was mainlining before he spent the weekend binge-watching Mystery Science Theatre 3000?

  • Angry_Cop

    “Uploading your brain into a computer network” is where this seriously goes off the rails. The rest is kind of plausible, if you’re paranoid and a little crazy. But still plausible. But the brain upload/Kurzweil “Singularity” is so far beyond where technology is, or will be in the next few decades, as to render his whole theory rather laughable.

    I’m always reminded, when reading ill-informed bullshit like that of Jones, of the transporter on Star Trek. The idea of a starship two centuries from now is pretty reasonable. The idea of a transporter two centuries from now is ludicrous. Like dropping millimeter-wave radar guided missiles and a modern fire-control system into an Aztec village.

    • calliecallie

      “Like dropping millimeter-wave radar guided missiles and a modern fire-control system into an Aztec village.”
      Wasn’t that an episode of Star Trek? Oh, wait, they were Indians, not Aztecs.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    He’s “no homophobe”. And like every slack-jawed knuckle dragger ever, he “voted for Obama the first term”.

    • LarkintheAM

      Whenever I hear someone say that, complete with wounded, disappointed expression, I want to nominate them for a Razzie. Just who do they think they are fooling?

  • cousin itt

    Borg Queen: Are you familiar with physical forms of pleasure?
    Lieutenant Commander Data: If you are referring to sexuality, I am… fully functional, programmed in… multiple techniques.
    Borg Queen: How long since you’ve used them?
    Lieutenant Commander Data: Eight years, seven months, sixteen days, four minutes, twenty-two…

    • Lizzietish81

      Waste of Alice Krige. Christ I hated that movie.

      • Me not sure

        I never could figure out why Borg women needed boobys. Not complaining, mind you.

      • dslindc

        Generations was way worse than First Contact

      • SterWonk

        While far from perfect, it was without doubt the best of the TNG movies.

        • Lizzietish81

          That’s a low bar.

  • MrBlobfish

    Yes! To be like the hu-man! To laugh! Feel! Want! Why are these things not in the plan?

    • JustPixelz

      And why are comments not allowed?

      • MrBlobfish

        I cannot – yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do “must” and “cannot” meet? Yet I must – but I cannot!

        • Doug Langley

          In the movie “M”, Peter Lorre kept yelling “I must! I MUST!!” And things didn’t end too well for him.

    • eddi

      Off to see Robot Monster, one more time. Then I will quit, I swear.

      • Blank Ron

        With or without riffing?

        • eddi

          With. (I’m so ashamed ?) I just get MSTy around the classics.

  • FauxAntocles

    It’s good to know at least some of the people Reagan kicked out of their special homes have found gainful employment.

  • schmannity

    If gays are part of the plan to replace humans with robots, how do you explain this?

    https://stakeholdermanagement.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/c3po.jpg

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Whew!
    I mean, Woo!

  • elviouslyqueer

    Um, Alex? Donna Haraway is on line one. Something about suing the living fuck out of you for plagiarism.

  • Lizzietish81

    How do the lizard people factor in all of this?

  • Ilgattomorte

    This seems like an awful lot of work to achieve world domination. Wouldn’t it be easier for a group of oligarchs to consolidate their power in to a small group of multi-national corporations. They could then consolidate control of fossil fuels while running a campaign to kill any attempts at clean renewable energy. Once this is achieved they would just need to put limits on the amount of money the average worker could make. While, at the same time, pressuring governments to reduce their own tax burden, thereby shifting the world’s wealth to …

    … oh

    • FauxAntocles

      You can expect the black choppers in 3, 2… FOR GOD’S SAKE, GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I think you win this thread.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    “I’ve…seen things you people wouldn’t believe…gay weddings off the shoulder of Orion. I watched homos glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate…”

    • bluejayray

      He’s just trying to warn us! The Build-a-Burgers and the Aluminati are taking over the world! It may already be too late!!!! WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!!!! (snark)

      Here’s my all time favorite Alex Jones clip:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEbYGSeJR0Q

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        Those Brits get ALL the fun. How come our pundits can’t call him a crazy idiot? Like immediately before and after he opens his mouth.
        also, too, anyone know why all these crazy assed wingnut side shows are rotund? Nothing against the hefty, I am not precisely svelt myself, but ALL of them seem to be following the Cristie/rush meal plan or something

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Exercise tends to clear the head and calm you down. They would find those feelings alarming.

          The only exercise that most hard-core wingnuts can approve of involves killing (hunting), establishing that a man’s home is his castle (house and yard work), or paranoia (militia or self-defense exercises).

  • Lizzietish81
    • bluejayray

      One of my favorites.

  • The Big Truth

    And all this time I thought once all the global elites upload their brains onto computer networks, it would make it easier for US to exterminate THEM with the help of an electromagnet and/or a preteen. I’ve been such a fool!

  • Callyson

  • Oblios_Cap

    The Earth will be glad to see us gone. So there’s that.

    • bluejayray

      I dare say that the next species to crawl out of the oceans will probably do a much better job of it. If possible, we should leave them a message to avoid inventing religion at all costs.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    So somehow not having a bunch of arbitrary rules about sexual conduct will turn us all into sexless drones?

    This is like arguing that if we’re not all on calorie restricted diets, we’ll starve to death.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Why bother? Humans are easily programmed with TV. Seeing is believing, so anyone who doesn’t believe whatever they show us on TV, no matter how ridiculous, is considered crazy.

  • dshwa

    Some village still needs to come claim their idiot.

    • jmk

      *villages all over world look off into distance and whistle disinterestedly*

    • eddi

      Too many idiots, not enough villages. Even time-share plans aren’t keeping up the flood.

  • Notreelyhelping

    Janitor Planet!

  • bluejayray

    In a civilized country, this man would be institutionalized and getting the help he needs.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      *squint* I type too slow. Upvote for you!

      • bluejayray

        I enjoyed your comment too. Ron Reagan had a lot to do with the dismantling of our mental health system.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Ronald Reagan deliberately underfunded the programs designed to help those released from mental hospitals adjust to the real world. He closed down the controlled warehouses for them, and turned the streets of our cities into uncontrolled warehouses.

          For a bunch of people who are constantly whining about no free lunches, they’re the first in line at the buffet table, shoving others out of the way to get there.

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    Anyone else miss the days when these whackaloons were stuck spouting on a street corner until some friendly cop helped them find a nice white room somewhere?

    • bluejayray

      I do. And thanks, Ron Reagan!

  • Barley_Brains

    I suggest he emigrate to the Great Libertarian Paradise of Somalia.

    • bluejayray

      No gay people there…at least not for long.

      • Barley_Brains

        Seems to be an even more ideal location for the bloviating shitbag.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Sort of like advertising, Jones here is worried about the precise opposite of the truth. It is humans’ fecundity that will doom them, not a sexless android future. Now excuse me, I have to get back to lunch. This Soylent won’t stay green forever.

    • Antimassacree

      Yum! The Other Other White Meat®.

    • SterWonk

      Soylent LIBEL!

  • Rufus T. Firefly

    Our future rulers will be asexual humanoids? Is he predicting a Lindsey Graham win in 2016?

  • Relativicus

    “The plan is an asexual humanoid…”

    And Alex and The RWNJ Patrol opposes this why? Don’t they realize the result would be the elimination of The Gay? Big picture, people! Big picture!

    • docterry6973

      And the end of abortion, contraception, teen pregnancy, welfare, social security, obamacare,and presumably all minorities since the asexual humanoids will all look alike. We can have wars everywhere and no one will care how many robots are destroyed.

      How can a conservative see a downside here?

      • splashy79

        Well, the downside is they are sadistic toward women, so that means there won’t be any for them to torture. (shrugs)

        • jmk

          That’s pretty much it – they don’t get as big a charge out of dominating their toasters and vacuum cleaners as they do from dominating actual people.

  • Steven Posey

    So will all of the technology needed to conquer/upoad humanity be made domestically, or will Obama have to outsource it to the lizard men?

  • Darn the United Nations for sexualizing children for the last century.

  • jviscont1

    I blame the Onion for spawning this entire absurd genre.

  • chicken thief

    Did he just skip right over the part when I get to fuck my dog?!

    ~ Santorum

    • jviscont1

      my laughing upvote just provoked a stink eye from my Lab.

      • willi0000000

        better than a stink from the other end.

        [ labs have the deadliest SBDs in the entire animal kingdom ]

        • Mike!

          I thought that that WAS the stinky eye!

        • jmk

          Boxer dog LIBEL!!!1!!!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    If Alex Jones doesn’t start sharing that shit he’s smoking, I’m going to call the narcs.

  • Michael Heumann

    He must be a HUGE fan of the latter chapters of Joe Haldeman’s The Forever War.

    • willi0000000

      or the not-quite-sequel The Forever Peace

      • bobbert

        Or the very weird Forever Free.

  • VandeGraf

    I wondered why I never saw Alex Jones on Comedy Central. He’s serious. Who kniew?!

  • Kat Anyperson

    …. “eugenics, trans-humanist cult” Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t those two concepts.. I dunno… kinda incompatible? I mean.. if the idea behind eugenics is to breed the “perfect” human, wtf do you need borg implants for?

    Personally I look forward to the day I can have a new heart 3d printed out of my own fraking skin cells. This dude needs to lay off the krokadil.

  • splashy79

    Wonder if he keeps coming up with farther out things just to see what people will listen to.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    Funny how libertarians always find a way to end up on the same side as conservative Christians.

    • Zippy

      Every

      Single

      Time

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Libertarian” is a branding term. Like “National Socialism”.

      • Anarchy Pony

        Indeed it is, libertarian is synonymous with anarchist in most of the world, and almost all anarchists are of the left wing persuasion. Anti government capitalists appropriated the terms libertarian and anarcho-capitalist to lend themselves the credit of genuine anarchism, while utterly ignoring the fact that anarchists oppose hierarchy and authoritarianism, which are 2 features not bugs, of capitalism. In other words, disingenuous liars.

        • Devon Java

          anarchists are anti-government,sounds like right wing to me,,so i correct you dear sir

          • TJ Barke

            Why the fuck are you responding to a year old comment? And being stupid when doing so? No anarchists aren’t fucking right wing… jesus, at least go read a fucking wikipedia article about it before talking about it…

          • Devon Java

            i do stand by my comment about anarchist,,they are antigovt,,sounds right wing,libertarian ,,and if you dont like it,,may I suggest you go comment on all the BS our president elect has said

  • Anarchy Pony

    Oddly enough, that’s a realistic endgame for capitalism. The elite, out of demand for cheap obedient labor develop advanced automated/robotic laborers to replace all or at least most workers, out of work workers then decried as parasites by elite, elite make modest proposal.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Of course the UN stuff and gay conspiracy shit is wicked retodded.

    • Well, it wouldn’t work if you accept Marxian economic proposals that human labour is the source of all profit; robots are just intelligent machines and have to be used by a human being. However, creating a permanent massive underclass seems much more likely than wiping them out, because having a massive underclass scares the lower reaches of the privileged classes into conformity. (Which is why social inequality leads to social stasis.)

      • Anarchy Pony

        Which is arguably what we already have. It begs the question of whether reliable obedient automated labor(or true AI) is actually possibility, a very long shot if you ask me, but a lot of your silicon valley neck-bearded libertarians are very likely shooting for such a scenario.

  • stevepidge

    Homosexuality is almost as stupid as natural selection…. ooooh nevermind, GAY PRIDE, GAY PRIDE, GAY PRIDE!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Poe’s Law in action, or the real thing?

      Only you and your hairdresser know for sure!

      • stevepidge

        No room in my bedroom for a dresser specifically designated to hair products, hence I go to a barber.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Which one of the Republican presidential candidates went on this guy’s show and treated him like a serious human being worthy of respect? It was Rand Paul, right?

    • Devon Java

      add trump to that,lets not forget that,on nov 8th,and defeat him

      • Devon Java

        i guess some people were just too,,well i will try to be nice here,,,,,

  • nightmoth

    Wow–gonna have to give the guy some points on creativity for this interesting blend of old conspiracy fears (U.S. out of the U.N.!) with new fears (robots are taking over!) If he’d just throw in something about UFOs and aliens he could be up for a Nebula Award.

    • BackDoorMan

      … well, the Nebulous Award at the very least.

  • AngryKatie

    Is there a rule that if you want to be a right wing crackpot you’re not allowed to speak in coherent sentences, and must instead sound like someone who filled out a Mad Lib without sufficiently understanding what nouns, verbs, adjectives, and adverbs are?

    Also, points off for not finding a way to include Agenda 21 in this.

  • leemoder

    This guy is Yosemite Sam without the good sense and restraint.

    • BackDoorMan

      … when I says WHOA!, mule… I means WHOA! THWACK!!!

  • rosihorror

    What a wonderful ball of crazy this guy is

  • rosihorror

    What a wonderful ball of crazy this guy is

  • handyhippie65

    are you sure he is not related to chuck jones? ’cause he reminds me of daffy duck.

    • Blank Ron

      He’th dethpicable!

      • BackDoorMan

        … I thought it was derpthicable!… no?

        • Blank Ron

          Man, if Daffy’d tried to say that his beak would have fallen off. Again.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    And there is one of the biggest problems with the culture of ignorance and science illiteracy that pervades on the right. They are unable to differentiate between what’s scientifically feasible and what’s, uh, batshit crazy bullshit.

  • We just need more unicorns and more sweet sticky rainbows!

  • Blank Ron

    *joins you in a chorus of ‘Play MSTie For Me.’ Or would if that were actually a song.*

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