Hooray, the demon water main that plagued Bethesda with rapids of inconvenience has been fixed. It is hilariously located on River Road, which is also now re-opened. [ DC Examiner ]
More tragic news of journalism layoffs: The "U" has been fired from the sign atop the USA Today building. It will now blog for the Daily Beast . [ Fishbowl DC ]
There's been an increase in juvenile DC murderers this year, some as young as 16. But are they killing at a tenth-grade level? [ Washington Post ]
Nine MUSLIMS were removed from a flight to MUSLIM-dominated Florida out of National after some passengers heard them talking about airplanes, a highly suspicious, Muslim-y thing to do while on board an airplane. [ WTOP ]
Today is the deadline to apply for a prime spot as a member of Obama's Inauguration team. You will be paid with a "commemorative volunteer credential," which will soon out-value United States currency. [ DCist ]
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