Hooray, we made a Jonah Goldberg post on The Corner! Time to break out the sparkling cider HMM? Jonah simply does not care for this website’s devastating investigative “reporting” (got an e-mail, determined the source was credible enough and the content was harmless, posted it as gossip — JUST LIKE B. WOODWARD), and says that he DID stand for the President… briefly… barely… shouldn’t even have to stand for that fucking guy… and that the problem was boredom. He went to a black-tie Washington reporters’ banquet but wasn’t expecting to be bored. MORE »

We already know that National Review Internet overlord Kathryn Jean Lopez was none too pleased with the Washington political/media establishment’s behavior at the White House Correspondents Dinner, where Barack Obama and Wanda Sykes refused to praise Rush Limbaugh for keeping America safe these past eight years. But now a deep-undercover Wonkette operative who was sitting a table over from Jonah and K-Lo’s — well within earshot — presents us with a disturbing report of how the two “were insufferable all night long,” and should never be allowed in public again. MORE »

Oh look, former Wonkette “Pornographer to the Stars” and current Washington Times gossip reporter Liz Glover went on the MSNBC teevee this weekend during a rare furlough from her regular job selling knick-knacks in the ghetto for the glory & prestige of Rev. Moon. She and her “less eccentric” (media-trained) partner discuss things that you will not want to hear about at all, like fashion and the power-politics dynamic of the White House Correspondents Dinner, but it’s fun to watch Liz randomly dancing and putting on props and breaking her microphone completely. [YouTube]

We mentioned earlier that we saw staunch “Reagan Conservative” and National Review marm Kathryn Jean Lopez at a pre-WHCD cocktail party, where she looked uncomfortable, what with all the homosexuals sipping the Devil’s Vinegar and all. Unlike your Wonkette, however, K-Lo stayed for the dinner portion, where she saw the various blacks make 9/11 jokes to an appreciative liberal media audience all cackling like sadists and jumping on tables left and right to perform partial-birth abortions and play frisbee with the bloody mutilated fetuses while sucking each others’ gay-married cocks and pooping on pictures of Ronald Reagan and the Pope before injecting white children with the AIDS cancer and science juice. MORE »

Everyone was so mean to Meghan McCain at the White House Correspondents Dinner, it says in the papers! Oh my. Meghan wanted to bring all her girlfriends in so they could be gettin’ that drink on, grindin’ up against Mark’s Penn’s leg, woot woot, Meghan just being Meghan, right? But then they only gave her two tickets, right? And she needed three, right? If only those security slaves knew that she was a columnist for a little thing called UMM THE DAILY BEAST, then they wouldn’t be gettin’ all up in her grill. Right? MORE »

Just to the left of this photo is a 9-foot 350-pound brainsmasher who happens to be Rahm Emanuel’s Secret Service guy (he usually carries Rahm around on piggyback, with Rahm brandishing a whip, yelling, “Faster, seeee?”) As the flash goes off, Rahm is saying to this Colossus, basically, “Why is the fucking Wonkette kid taking my fucking picture at this fucking Atlantic party?” But that cannot be confirmed.

Oh you want more pictures from the two things we went to this weekend, for the White House Dinner-Dance? Sorry, you’re not on the list, and we can’t let anyone who isn’t on the list look at our photos. But okay. MORE »

• ABOUT THE WHCD: (”WHCD,” that’s what those of us “in-the-know” call it.) Yes: Raped, killed, and sent to Fox News, all of that, but in reverse-order. And Rahm Emanuel’s bodyguard? About as intimidating as one would imagine Rahm Emanuel’s bodyguard to be. And K-Lo, saw K-Lo too. So we’ll post a few pictures — oh no god no, not of K-Lo… yeeesh — of this vulgar p.r. stunt in the morning, or the afternoon, or whenever we recover our camera’s USB cable from the trash.

HAS ANYONE SEEN JIM NEWELL? Wonkette’s Capitol Hill Typing Demon was supposed to go to a dozen or more Media/Nobama parties over this White House Correspondents Dinner weekend, but we haven’t heard from him since Friday. Was he raped or killed or sent to Fox News or something?

TONIGHT, D.C. SPARKLES! “Barack Obama loves our nation’s reporters in D.C. He made jokes about them, but at the end, he proved he cared about America’s Newspapers. This president may be a hero, after all.” [AOL Politics Daily]

Two issues “on the table” in this week’s heads-a-bloggin’ exchange between your editor and Choire Sicha: that goddamned White House Correspondents Association Dinner/Jerkoff, and a curious new marketing video put out by our former employers at Gawker Media. Who will win?! MORE »

WHAT IS WITH THAT WORD?: Here’s the big list of famous Movie Stars and such that will attend this weekend’s White House Correspondents Dinner, from Editor & Publisher: “Ben Affleck, Pamela Anderson, Ken Burns, John Cusack, Katie Couric, Jesse Jackson, Rob Lowe, Salman Rushdie, Tim Daly, and for the tween set, The Jonas Brothers.” WHY IS EVERYONE SAYING “TWEEN”? WHAT IS A JONAS BROTHER? Does Pamela Anderson still have AIDS? [Editor & Publisher]