Tag Archives: tony perkins

  Wonkette makes photo gallery like Buzzfeed

Josh Duggar Touches GOP Presidential Candidates With Same Hands What Touched His Sisters

Gross. Gross. Gross. Gross. Gross.
Josh Duggar and the entire Duggar clan are Family Values People. They believe in things like Traditional Marriage and No Trannies In The Little Girls’ Room, because apparently that’s more dangerous than Josh Duggar In The Little Girls’ Room. The family’s record of open wingnuttery and anti-gay/anti-trans hate landed young Joshua a sweet position with the Family Research Council hate group, which is headed up by Tony Perkins, who started his career off by purchasing David Duke’s mailing list. Yes, THAT David Duke. Read more on Josh Duggar Touches GOP Presidential Candidates With Same Hands What Touched His Sisters…
  Teach us oh white people!

How Are White Wingnuts Fixing The Blacks Of Baltimore This Week?

The cats are cuter than anything you'll read in this post.
Ever since the alleged police murder of Freddie Gray and the rioting that followed, white wingnuts have been trying SO HARD to do something — anything! — to help the poor black communities of Baltimore recover and move on from this tragedy. Because they care so much, honest! Should we cut off their food stamps? Give everybody more guns, so they can Stand Their Ground? Send them all some more Jesus, and good dads like Rand Paul? Well, worry not, because there are still more turd ideas to throw at the wall, so here is this week’s roundup of White Wingnut Wisdom for Baltimorean Blacks! Read more on How Are White Wingnuts Fixing The Blacks Of Baltimore This Week?…
  we can't say we haven't been warned

Wingnut Tony Perkins: If Supreme Court Gay Marriages Us, We Might All Die

We just hope we've stockpiled enough rations!
So this happened during Family Research Council figuredickhead Tony Perkins’s radio show this week: CALLER: I was listening to Bryan Fischer, and there was a question about if the Supreme Court decides to go with gay marriage, which I hope they never do — but anyway, I was listening to Bryan Fischer, and to show you how far this can get out of hand, I heard Bryan speak about a woman had married a house. That’s really strange, isn’t it? Read more on Wingnut Tony Perkins: If Supreme Court Gay Marriages Us, We Might All Die…
  Or does he just have very poor judgment in choosing friends?

Is Indiana Gov. Mike Pence The Michael Jordan Of Hating Gays?

He had met the circled hatemongers before, you know.
Hypothesis: Mike Pence Is The Michael Jordan Of Hating Gays Indiana Gov. Mike Pence did himself a right nice presser Tuesday morning, wherein he explained that he is Not Sorry for signing the Fuck The Gays bill, which he does not understand, but that he wants to clarify that he in no way, shape, or form wants the law to be used to actually fuck the gays. And never, in his whole life, has he supported discrimination, no sir. Read more on Is Indiana Gov. Mike Pence The Michael Jordan Of Hating Gays?…
  what about our freedom to imprison you?

Republicans Invite Hate-Group Leader To Whine To Congress About Persecution, Starting, Like, Now!

You’ve probably heard by now how all those Rainbow Shirt Enforcer Squads™ are coming straight from the Castro to cram buttsechs down Middle America’s throat. You have also probably heard that this country’s ever-increasing tolerance for The Gay is actually an Affront to Liberty, and more importantly the rights of Not Gays to discriminate against their sodomite compatriots, as Jesus and Thomas Jefferson intended. These are all existentially true statements, of course, and we should all be cognizant of the FACT that white fundamentalist Christians are the Real Oppressed Minorities, what with having to bake wedding cakes for homogay couples and maybe having to share a bathroom with a Not-Female who is no doubt only trannying to facilitate a legitimate rape. Read more on Republicans Invite Hate-Group Leader To Whine To Congress About Persecution, Starting, Like, Now!…
  freeeeeeeeeeeedom!!!!1!

Greetings From The Freest* State In The Land, Suckers: Your Florida Roundup

Good news, everyone! According to some outfit called the John Locke Foundation, which is based in North Carolina and apparently doesn’t visit often, Florida is not only the state where half-senile olds turn out in droves to elect baldheaded, Medicare-frauding cartoon ghouls governor (twice), but also the “freest” state in the nation. Of course, as the good folks at Reason remind, this can only be so if you ignore all the bullshit our cops do (and, I might add, the fact that we fought like hell against letting the gays marry and voted down medical marijuana at the Reefer Madness-style urging of the law enforcement establishment). But that’s okay, because the John Locke folks don’t really give a fuck about civil liberties or any other such hippie nonsense. Nope, it’s all guns and taxes and vouchers and hating on Medicaid for the poors — they seem like such nice people — and Florida kicks everyone’s ass on that stuff: Read more on Greetings From The Freest* State In The Land, Suckers: Your Florida Roundup…
  The revolution will not be ... happening

Alabama Anti-Gay Today, Anti-Gay Tomorrow, Anti-Gay FOREVAH

Well, actually ...
Hooray, the revolution is finally here! After years of judicial activists cramming marriage equality down the unwilling throats of Americans who are mostly cool with it at this point, Alabama’s probate judges, who are not judicial activists because they just aren’t, have answered the call of literally tens of Americans and refused to recognize the authority of the Supreme Court of the United States of America-Except-For-Alabama, because who do those guys think they are anyway, Supreme Court justices or something? Read more on Alabama Anti-Gay Today, Anti-Gay Tomorrow, Anti-Gay FOREVAH…
  UNFOLLOW POST

Gays Now Rudely Getting Nekkid On Persecuted Christian News Feeds

Here, wingnuts, you might need this.
Fundamentalist Christians sure have it tough these days, and if you were listening to hate group leader Tony Perkins’s radio programme the other day — which of course you were — you learned that the LGBTs (it’s pronounced “legbots”) have opened a new front in the battle for worldwide gayness, by sneaking right into unsuspecting wingnuts’ Facebook news feeds and just gettin’ NEKKID: Read more on Gays Now Rudely Getting Nekkid On Persecuted Christian News Feeds…
  Because The Gays are the real terrorists

Atlanta Fire Chief Simply Does Not Care For Gay People, Wingnuts Are ON IT

omg, y'all, I cannot even with this
Today in religiously freedoming The Gays, we are hearing about the martyrdom of Atlanta Ex-Fire Chief and Soldier of Our Lord Kelvin Cochran, who was fired either for being a Christian hero for perpetual non-gay straightness, or for being a problem employee with abhorrent views who didn’t follow procedure concerning Atlanta public officials who write books, you decide. Let’s freedomsplore! Last fall, Cochran wrote a book entitled Who Told You That You Were Naked. Someone at ThinkProgress seems to have taken one for the team, hooray, and read parts of it, hopefully aloud to a laughing, jeering audience. Read more on Atlanta Fire Chief Simply Does Not Care For Gay People, Wingnuts Are ON IT…
  It's Jihad All The way Down

Michele Bachmann Has Had It With Obama Supporting Jihad By Bombing ISIS

When in doubt, use this picture
Former Congressidiot Michele Bachmann explained in a recent interview that even when Barack Obama is trying to get one group of Muslims to bomb the hell out of another group of Muslims, he is actually advancing worldwide Islamic jihad, because of course he is. Read more on Michele Bachmann Has Had It With Obama Supporting Jihad By Bombing ISIS…
  Here have some news n stuff

GOP Congressman Lee Terry Wins Coveted Convicted Killer Endorsement

Convicted killers for Lee Terry
Convicted killer Nikko Jenkins, from a Lee Terry ad Rep. Lee Terry of Nebraska is a real piece of work. He’s one of the charming fellas who insisted, during the government shutdown, that he was special and, unlike the rest of America, he really needed his paycheck because he, unlike the rest of America, had “a nice house and a kid in college.” Then he said he was sorry for saying that, he didn’t mean to seem like a total jerkwad, it’s not how he was raised.Being a jerk in all the other ways, however, is how he was raised, it seems, because he’s never apologized for his long voting record of being an anti-woman, anti-children, anti-gay, anti-healthcare, anti-everything jerk. Or for running some disgusting ads this election cycle, blaming his Democratic opponent, Brad Ashford, for the four murders committed by Nikko Jenkins after being released early from prison under the state’s “good time” policy. According to Terry’s campaign, there was nothing wrong with suggesting that it was basically Ashford’s fault that four people were dead — a charge so despicable, even former Republican National Chairman Michael Steele condemned the campaign.So it’s quite fitting that this week, during a competency hearing to determine whether none other than convicted Nikko Jenkins is competent to be sentenced to the death penalty (which is a whole other discussion for a whole other day), Jenkins endorsed, that’s right, Lee Terry: Read more on GOP Congressman Lee Terry Wins Coveted Convicted Killer Endorsement…
  Whine and Jesus Party

It’s A Good Friday For Values Voters To Feel Persecuted Again

nice ride
Outside the Values Voter Summit 2014/Photo by Beth Ethier It’s time for all the wingnuttiest Christianist wingnuts who will never be president to gather once again in D.C. to Biblesplain how President Obama is THE WORST, liberals have killed Jesus (again!), and it’s hard out there in these American United States of Real America for an outraged white dude. Read more on It’s A Good Friday For Values Voters To Feel Persecuted Again…
  Like Todd Starnes Has Ever Seen A Big Condom

Fox’s Todd Starnes Exposes Big Condom-Public School Industrial Complex

Invading a middle school near you title=
Can’t get enough dick? We can never get enough dick — news about dicks, politicians being dicks, anonymous airport dick, and sometimes dicks talking about dick-things. Enter Todd Starnes, Fox News comment-spewer and host of the physical embodiment of all the worst insinuations of the word “dick.” His latest complaint: Public schools are beholden to Big Condoms. No, not the Magnum condoms that you buy to put in your nightstand to impress ladies who snoop, but which you never use because haha, get real.  We are talking about the Big Condom-Public School Industrial Complex, which is a 100 percent real thing, sheeple. Read more on Fox’s Todd Starnes Exposes Big Condom-Public School Industrial Complex…
  What's All This Fuss About Eye Cysts Anyway?

Very Important Wingnut: Repeal The First Amendment So ISIS Doesn’t Get Us

Just look up 'Backpfeifengesicht'
Never one to let an opportunity for paranoia pass by, the Family Research Council’s Tony Perkins found a way to link fear of ISIS with one of his favorite fears, the specter of secularism (which is going to make Christianity illegal any day now). Read more on Very Important Wingnut: Repeal The First Amendment So ISIS Doesn’t Get Us…
  Serial Loser Says What?

Rick Santorum Has Sexxy Advice For Barack Obama: Stop Being Pathetic About Iraq

He's gotta keep his throat crammed so he doesn't accidentally say nice things.
On Monday, Rick Santorum dropped by the Family Research Council’s “Washington Watch” radio program, and he shared some of his foreign policy expertise with host and FRC head Tony Perkins. A couple of insights: Iraq is a mess because Barack Obama failed to strong-arm Iraqi President Nouri Al-Maliki into accepting a new status-of-forces agreement. Maliki insisted on sticking to the arrangement that he’d negotiated with George W. Bush, which required a U.S. withdrawal by 2010, but Santorum gives a hint of how he’d be a super diplomatic president who would make the rest of the world respect us. Since the U.S. had more or less put Maliki in office, Obama should have just gone to Maliki and said, “We’ll have a Status of Forces Agreement … or else.” That’s how America does international relations, for heaven’s sake: by bullying our allies into submission, like Jesus advocated. But did Obama make Maliki an offer he couldn’t refuse? No, the dumb weakling. Santorum continued: Read more on Rick Santorum Has Sexxy Advice For Barack Obama: Stop Being Pathetic About Iraq…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

Derp Roundup: Jenna Bush Has A Posse — And They’re Big Jerk Babies

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the feature where we bring you the very best of the worst detritus that’s clung to our browser tabs all week. We find the stories that are too short for a full post but too stupid to ignore altogether and serve them up to you in a delicious frothy blend — add whatever brain solvents you may need to help digest them. Read more on Derp Roundup: Jenna Bush Has A Posse — And They’re Big Jerk Babies…
  compelling explanations

Check Your Bingo Cards; Gay Marriage & Obamacare Finally Blamed For Isla Vista Murders

Get out your Post-Tragedy Bingo Cards, kids — the Family Research Council (motto: “All research vetted by our opinion”) has found a couple of additional suspects in last weekend’s killing spree in Isla Vista, California. While crazy feminists think that maybe the killings might have something to do with Elliot Rodger’s open declaration of hatred for women who didn’t give him the sex he so richly deserved, the FRC wants nothing to do with such facile explanations, which make no sense at all since women actually do owe men sex, at least if the men do dishes. Instead, they link Rodger’s murderous impulses to far more logical culprits: marriage equality and the Affordable Care Act. It’s such a relief to see that we’re finally reaching a sensible interpretation of this otherwise inexplicable event. Read more on Check Your Bingo Cards; Gay Marriage & Obamacare Finally Blamed For Isla Vista Murders…
  religious freedumb

Mississippi Bakers Will Now Be Spared The Tyranny Of Making Penis Cakes For The Gays

Remember way back in February when we all got excited that Jan Brewer showed a modicum of human decency and vetoed Arizona’s “let institutionalize and business-ize hate against the gays” law? Looks like we started to rest on our laurels, got soft, failed to be eternally vigilant, and we didn’t pay attention to Mississippi, where the legislature was ramming through pretty much the same bill. The Mississippi legislature has passed legislation that would allow people to use their religion to justify discrimination. […] “Religious liberty” bills like the one vetoed in Arizona differ from other states’ “Religious Freedom Restoration Acts” (RFRAs) because they extend religious protections to businesses. Mississippi’s bill has this same problem, because state law already defines a “person” to include “all public and private corporations.” Thus, if Bryant were to sign Mississippi’s bill into law, it would grant all businesses in the state a license to discriminate based on religious grounds. Mississippi does not currently have any state or local nondiscrimination protections for the LGBT community, but a business could use this legislation to justify discrimination against anybody not protected by federal law. The big difference between Arizona’s law and Mississippi’s? Mississippi’s governor, Phil Bryant, signed the thing because of course he did. Read more on Mississippi Bakers Will Now Be Spared The Tyranny Of Making Penis Cakes For The Gays…
  rapture of the derp

Michele Bachmann So Disappointed American Jews Don’t Recognize That Obama Is The Antichrist

Like a lot of your rightwing fundagelicals, Michele Bachmann is a big believer in the old Chick tract “Support Your Local Jew,” so she knows that the most important country in the world, next to maybe America, is Israel, because that’s where Jesus will come to end the world. And so if Israel is unhappy about an American policy, that’s not just international politics, that’s an affront to God. Which explains why ol’ Crazy Eyes is especially ticked at American Jews for not recognizing the self-evident truth that Barack Obama is bad for the Jews. You see, Obama went and reached a preliminary nuclear deal with Iran, and then he went and manage to convince Congress not to vote for any new sanctions on Iran while negotiators try to reach a permanent deal. This did not sit well with Michele Bachmann, protector of Israel — in fact, it’s a chaleria that so many Jews voted for the gonif. Read more on Michele Bachmann So Disappointed American Jews Don’t Recognize That Obama Is The Antichrist…
  you know who else liked day care? joanie caucus

Family Research Council Fears Preschool Education Camps Where Tots Will Learn Shapes, Colors, Atheism

The nutballs at the Family Research Council are worried about the feminazi socialist revolution that might result if early childhood education is expanded, because they know that the real goal is not to prepare children for school, but actually to get the Government’s hooks in their tender minds and destroy the family. Again. Read more on Family Research Council Fears Preschool Education Camps Where Tots Will Learn Shapes, Colors, Atheism…