Tag: stand your ground

Also not allowed to ask where she concealed that.

Missouri Rescues Second Amendment From Tyranny Of So-Called Concealed Carry ‘Permits’

Missouri's very easy process for concealed-carry permits was oppressive, so there's no need for a permit at all. Have at it, folks!
He thinks good

Weedlord Bonerhitler PWNS!!!1! George Zimmerman’s Dumb Murder Weapon Auction

George Zimmerman's attempt to get his historic child-shooting weapon into the hands of a firearms collector/murder fetishist who appreciates its value as an artifact of Zimmerman's struggle with race, history, and attention-seeking has been dealt another blow. Thursday, the...
Poor murder weapon has to wait to find a new home.

George Zimmerman Can’t Auction Off His Child-Murdering Gun Now, RIP America

Oh, hi, America's sociopaths, looks like you're just going to have to wait for another chance to bid on George Zimmerman's turgid child-killing muscle. The auction site for the 9mm handgun Zimmerman used to shoot Trayvon Martin dead...
A true work of naive American art and his painting

Child Murderer George Zimmerman Would Like To Remind You He Murdered A Child

George Zimmerman is auctioning off the gun used to "end the brutal attack from Trayvon Martin" (by killing him). Isn't that neat?
Imaginary driver on closed videogame course. Do not attempt.

St. Paul Cop: Go Ahead And Run Over Black Lives Matter Protesters, Just Remember To Call 911

A St. Paul, Minnesota police sergeant is under investigation after allegedly posting a Facebook comment urging drivers to run over Black Lives Matters protesters and keep driving. The comment, since removed, was on a newspaper's Facebook post about a...
The only thing that stops a bad guy with a General Electric GAU-17/A minigun...

Florida Would Like To Give You $200K For Killing Someone, As Long As It’s ‘Self-Defense’

Florida has a nifty new variation on "Stand your Ground" legislation in the works. Not only would it make it easier for criminal defendants to escape murder prosecutions by claiming self-defense, but it would also require the state to reimburse...
Aren't those amendments part of the AMERICAN constitution?

George Zimmerman Made New Finger Painting For Racist, Gun-Fondling BFF

Florida Man George Zimmerman, the guy who killed Trayvon Martin that one time, is somehow not currently in prison, which just proves you cannot cage artistic genius. Instead, he is doing art again, which is good and healthy and...
Eff you, Florida

Florida Jerks Super Excited Their Neighbor Shot A Kid, Saved A TV

Stop us if you've heard this one before. Gun-toting Real American Hero Florida Man is just minding his own business and patrolling his charming suburban subdivision, packing heat as one does in Florida, when he sees a dangerous teenager,...
That didn't take long

Feminists Murder Patriarchy Again, For Ten Dollar Bill

Make some celebratory sounds, ladies, because we did it! We killed the patriarchy! We're getting so good at this, one day we might even have equal representation in government. One day. In a century, maybe. But for now, we...
This story has Bearing Arms AND Baring Arms in it!

Send Us Your Tired, Your Poor, Your Mentally Ill Kentuckians: Your Florida Roundup

Greetings, Wonketeers, from America’s Sam’s Cola, a state so strange and wondrous that all kinds of people are just dying to move here, and then some of them die here, because they are old. One of our newest denizens...
A true work of naive American art and his painting

Fellow Gun-Humper Who Shot At George Zimmerman Just ‘Standing His Ground,’ What A Surprise

For the "Well, Of Course, It Had To Happen" files today, we learn the attorney for Matthew Apperson, the guy who shot at American Second Amendment hero George Zimmerman last month, is planning on using a "stand your ground"...
This would fix everything

NRA: Know What Baltimore Needs? More Guns, So Everybody Can Stand Their Ground!

With all of those people marching and looting and hip-hopping in the streets again, the National Rifle Association's social media experts have teamed up with Still Dead Andrew Breitbart's Cyber Tickle Fest For Insecure Neckbeards to tell America the HARD...
Screengrabs are fair use, right? Yeah, pretty sure they are. We can always add a pony so it's parody.

George Zimmerman: God Made Me Do It

Now that the Justice Department has declared George Zimmerman a swell human being who merely shot and killed Trayvon Martin but didn't violate his civil rights, Mr. Zimmerman sat down for a spontaneous, not-at-all scripted-sounding interview with his divorce...
here I am in court again!

George Zimmerman Goes With Wine Jug For Lady-Beating, For Variety

Do you wish you could read more words about George Zimmerman, Florida's own human crime spree and killer of unarmed black teenager Trayvon Martin? Has it been too long since you read one month ago about how Zimmerman thinks it...
Ready for all comers

George Zimmerman: Be Sure To Buy Your ‘Killing Unarmed Black Kids’ Insurance!

George Zimmerman has a lot of free time. His notoriety prevents him from seeking conventional employment, evidently, and he got fired from his last unpaid gig in that the owner of the gun shop he was lurking behind at...
We can't even come up with a funny alt tag right now, guys.

Marissa Alexander Officially Not Allowed To Stand Her Ground In Florida

You remember Marissa Alexander, right? She was the Florida woman who fired warning shots at her abusive husband (and missed) during a domestic dispute and got 20 years for it. Fortunately, she got a new trial, and on Monday,...