Tag: stand your ground

March Goes Out With A Lamb! Wonkagenda For Wed., March 14, 2018

Conor Lamb wins, Dems release their MINORITY REPORT, and Antifa Space Soldiers!

Congress Will Put All The Teen Sexters IN JAIL, Where They Obviously Belong!

The House of Representatives has passed a bill that could send teen sexters to jail for 15 YEARS.
love gun

Florida ‘Stand Your Ground’ Law Might Get Even More Murder-licious!

Why should you have to prove you were scared to invoke Stand Your Ground? Shouldn't the state have to prove YOU WEREN'T?

Putin Tells Trump Not To Listen To Mean Old CIA. Wonkagenda for January 6, 2017

U.S. intel chiefs tell Senate about Russian hacking, Congress tries to pay for Trump's Wall, and Obama saves some more Alaska. Your morning news brief!
Also not allowed to ask where she concealed that.

Missouri Rescues Second Amendment From Tyranny Of So-Called Concealed Carry ‘Permits’

Missouri's very easy process for concealed-carry permits was oppressive, so there's no need for a permit at all. Have at it, folks!
He thinks good

Weedlord Bonerhitler PWNS!!!1! George Zimmerman’s Dumb Murder Weapon Auction

George Zimmerman's attempt to get his historic child-shooting weapon into the hands of a firearms collector/murder fetishist who appreciates its value as an artifact of Zimmerman's struggle with race, history, and attention-seeking has been dealt another blow. Thursday, the...
Poor murder weapon has to wait to find a new home.

George Zimmerman Can’t Auction Off His Child-Murdering Gun Now, RIP America

Oh, hi, America's sociopaths, looks like you're just going to have to wait for another chance to bid on George Zimmerman's turgid child-killing muscle. The auction site for the 9mm handgun Zimmerman used to shoot Trayvon Martin dead...
A true work of naive American art and his painting

Child Murderer George Zimmerman Would Like To Remind You He Murdered A Child

George Zimmerman is auctioning off the gun used to "end the brutal attack from Trayvon Martin" (by killing him). Isn't that neat?
Imaginary driver on closed videogame course. Do not attempt.

St. Paul Cop: Go Ahead And Run Over Black Lives Matter Protesters, Just Remember To Call 911

A St. Paul, Minnesota police sergeant is under investigation after allegedly posting a Facebook comment urging drivers to run over Black Lives Matters protesters and keep driving. The comment, since removed, was on a newspaper's Facebook post about a...
The only thing that stops a bad guy with a General Electric GAU-17/A minigun...

Florida Would Like To Give You $200K For Killing Someone, As Long As It’s ‘Self-Defense’

Florida has a nifty new variation on "Stand your Ground" legislation in the works. Not only would it make it easier for criminal defendants to escape murder prosecutions by claiming self-defense, but it would also require the state to reimburse...
Aren't those amendments part of the AMERICAN constitution?

George Zimmerman Made New Finger Painting For Racist, Gun-Fondling BFF

Florida Man George Zimmerman, the guy who killed Trayvon Martin that one time, is somehow not currently in prison, which just proves you cannot cage artistic genius. Instead, he is doing art again, which is good and healthy and...
Eff you, Florida

Florida Jerks Super Excited Their Neighbor Shot A Kid, Saved A TV

Stop us if you've heard this one before. Gun-toting Real American Hero Florida Man is just minding his own business and patrolling his charming suburban subdivision, packing heat as one does in Florida, when he sees a dangerous teenager,...
That didn't take long

Feminists Murder Patriarchy Again, For Ten Dollar Bill

Make some celebratory sounds, ladies, because we did it! We killed the patriarchy! We're getting so good at this, one day we might even have equal representation in government. One day. In a century, maybe. But for now, we...
This story has Bearing Arms AND Baring Arms in it!

Send Us Your Tired, Your Poor, Your Mentally Ill Kentuckians: Your Florida Roundup

Greetings, Wonketeers, from America’s Sam’s Cola, a state so strange and wondrous that all kinds of people are just dying to move here, and then some of them die here, because they are old. One of our newest denizens...
A true work of naive American art and his painting

Fellow Gun-Humper Who Shot At George Zimmerman Just ‘Standing His Ground,’ What A Surprise

For the "Well, Of Course, It Had To Happen" files today, we learn the attorney for Matthew Apperson, the guy who shot at American Second Amendment hero George Zimmerman last month, is planning on using a "stand your ground"...