Tag Archives: scary monsters

  in the kingdom of nuts the nut is queen

Michele Bachmann Is GOP’s Queen of Iowa

According to this important email from Michele Bachmann’s campaign, she is going to win Iowa and then whatever other states are part of America. She is a uniter, not a divider! (As long as you’re an “ex-gay” who helps her collect foster-parenting money, as a “small business.”) And this strategy is working with the nine Republicans in Iowa currently paying attention to the presidential election, which takes place in exactly a year-and-a-half from now. Read more on Michele Bachmann Is GOP’s Queen of Iowa…
  better than holy water

Single Photograph Will Keep You From Ever Thinking About Sex Again

Do you have a “pretend sex addiction”? Or, if you’re lucky enough to occasionally be around people who drunkenly agree to have sex with you, do you lack interest in “real sex” because of the hot Internet trend of becoming physically numb/impotent when trying to make sexytime with an actual warm human body because of the inexhaustible supply of tawdry pornography on your iPhone, which you cannot stop looking at for even one minute? In other words, do you want an easy way to break yourself from the cripplingly awful tedium of Internet porn addiction? We have a solution for you, young people of America! No longer will you lose entire days of your “search for employment or a community college that will take you back” to the wickedness of free naked people pictures. Just bookmark the following image and click it whenever you’re tempted. Read more on Single Photograph Will Keep You From Ever Thinking About Sex Again…
  stephen king's "carrie"

Relive Michele Bachmann’s Insane Speech To Her Devil!

Did you love Michele Bachmann’s super crazy web-cam deal last night, when she literally spoke to her Spirit Devil for something like seven minutes, as it hovered several feet away from the video camera? Well then, you will certainly want to watch it again, at the office. You know how cats sometimes “see something” in a distant empty corner of the room and then their eyes get SO BIG and their ears fold back and then they just take off running through the house as if they are being pursued by an Actual Devil Monster? This is Michele Bachmann’s whole life! It’s a hard life! Read more on Relive Michele Bachmann’s Insane Speech To Her Devil!…
  sexy beasts

Bonus/Emergency Children’s Treasury: Al & Tipper Gore Dressed As Sex Monsters

Whoa we were just stopping by MSNBC for a moment to watch the Israeli Ambassador lie about killing people again, and then what’s her name, Alan Greenspan’s wife, just cold started showing pictures of Al and Tipper Gore dressed up as sex monsters for orgies. What is going on here? Oh right, it was the 1980s. Will Allah ever forgive America for the 1980s? No, no she won’t. B-) So, werewolves! We bet Al Gore boned the hell out of Tipper in this get-up! Ugh? Read more on Bonus/Emergency Children’s Treasury: Al & Tipper Gore Dressed As Sex Monsters…
 

Somebody At The Wall Street Journal Hates Mark Penn

Granted, there are no flattering representations of Mark Penn to be found anywhere in this space-time dimension, because Mark Penn has an unflattering face. However, the dot-jockey at the WSJ may have gone a little overboard with this one. Expose children to this image and they’ll be bed wetters for life. [WSJ] Read more on Somebody At The Wall Street Journal Hates Mark Penn…