Your Wonkette associate editor was buying his weekly “groceries” (frozen gravy-flavored bacon sticks and chocolate) at the Safeway on 14th & D sts. SE when suddenly his fellow customers screamed, “OMG IT’S OBAMA.” Then: “I want my picture taken with Obama.” Lastly: “Oh he’s just wax Obama.” Just kidding, your associate editor was the only person to do this. This is the famous Wax Demon, and it will be terrorizing other Safeways in the District tonight, according to the terrorist in charge. This is what feminism looks like!

Is it possible that the fringe nutcase world of Bigfoot and Space Monsters is also the fringe nutcase world of those people out to prove half-Muslin Kenyan Taliban Barack Hussein Obama is an illegal alien? A shocking new development suggests that some Texas redneck who used to call the Art Bell radio show and claim he shot a couple of Bigfoot Monsters may also be some Internet radio wingnut who will one day show the world his ROCK SOLID PROOF that your new president is actually an Indonesian wetback or whatever. MORE »

Well, here’s the moment none of us were waiting for: The people responsible for last year’s “Obama Girl” craze have released the McCain Campaign’s version of a harmless, sexy New Jersey gal — and it’s a horrifying genetic accident from Hell itself. Masturbate to that. [YouTube]

Granted, there are no flattering representations of Mark Penn to be found anywhere in this space-time dimension, because Mark Penn has an unflattering face. However, the dot-jockey at the WSJ may have gone a little overboard with this one. Expose children to this image and they’ll be bed wetters for life. [WSJ]