Wonkette

The Washington Post’s Richard Cohen, everyone’s favorite old coot of a “moderate liberal,” has written a sort of hilarious rant against Sarah Palin today. He calls her a “sitcom of a vice presidential choice,” which is probably the most apt description yet. Then he gets sassy, MMHMM: “Still, you have to admit that in all that time, especially since Palin became governor about two years ago, no Russian invasion force has come across the strait, maybe because she was in charge of the Guard, maybe because she herself is a hunter and an athlete.” Cohen also writes about Julius Caesar because fuck all. [Washington Post]

“Neoconservatism’s problem, and electoral advantage, is one and the same: By escalating international problems into monumental crises and impending threats, interventionists such as John McCain have been able to appear knowledgeable, ’serious,’ and presidentially tough, all at once. Any competitor preaching policy restraint and rhetorical prudence looks like a wuss in comparison.” This is why John McCain will win the presidency and we will be plunged into another decade of war and bankruptcy, concurrent with a precipitous decline into global irrelevance, loss of empire, roving zombie hordes, etc. [Reason]

Oh, this is just delightful. [BBC World News via Live Leak]

DUH: “Russians were told over breakfast yesterday what really happened in Georgia: the conflict in South Ossetia was part of a plot by Dick Cheney, the vice president, to stop Barack Obama being elected president of the United States.” [Times of London]

Be warned: America’s class of neoconservatives have suddenly grown a POWERFUL NEW BONER. Russia and Georgia’s conflict 20 billion miles away has opened the door for the New Cold World War III, this time with SURROUND SOUND AND TEMPERATURE CONTROLLING CUP HOLDERS AND DIGITAL FIRE STEAMFUCK LIBERTY NUKES. Have no fear, because whenever a former Commie aggressor threatens God’s Democracy somewhere in the world, there’ll always be a Kagan somewhere just stone cold writin’ killer op-eds denouncing those fuckers. MORE »

Many of us freaked out today when John McCain voiced this unusual piece of his mind: “I think it’s very clear that Russian ambitions are to restore the old Russian Empire. Not the Soviet Union, but the Russian Empire.” How does anyone arrive at that after reading about the situation between Russia and Georgia? Jesus. But then again, are we just getting soft? Think back to the glory days of the Republican primary season. All of the candidates launched into over-the-top fear babble of this nature on a daily basis, and it was usually more insane! So let’s check out two of our favorite ads from late last year — one from Mitt Romney and another from Rudy Giuliani — and laugh at monstrous bullshit all over again. MORE »

Oh, this is perfect. Now that America is almost free of its bellicose twat of a president who thinks it’s fun to holler at random countries sitting on large oil supplies, we have another bellicose twat in the ranks making lots of noise at, let’s see, RUSSIA.

Here is what “our friend” John McCain said recently, about Putin always invading things: “I think it’s very clear that Russian ambitions are to restore the old Russian Empire. Not the Soviet Union, but the Russian Empire.” As Wonkette Cartography Operative “Leigh” helpfully points out, Imperial Russia once included Alaska, which now belongs to America. Ted Stevens is not going to like this one bit. [Political Ticker]

You know how World War III (the real one) is pretty much starting, between Russia and the ex-Soviet country of Georgia, because the pro U.S. regime in Georgia thought, “Oh hey we are allies of the United States and we like NATO, so we will just go kick a little bit of ass over in this breakaway chunk that wants to be with their pals in Russia across the border,” and then Russia was all, “YOU FAIL WE KILL YOU ALL,” and Bush was playing grab-ass in China at the Olympics, and this is probably going to get uglier. But did you know George W. did his famous dancing in Tbilisi, the Georgian capital, just last year? MORE »

Liberals are very upset with John McCain, again, because it appears he has PLAGIARIZED the famous website Wikipedia in his speech about Georgia and Russia. John McCain is using Wikipedia! That’s all we care about and are very happy to learn that he’s discovered this completely awesome and accurate website. But as some of those rascally bloggers have discovered, McCain used such words and dates as “in,” “of,” “economic,” and “1922″ in much the same sequence that Wikipedia used them in a historical laundry list of facts! It’s like he’s writing a college history paper’s “background” section in the post-2005 era — by copy-pasting it from any damn website, because who cares. MORE »

“The United States urged Russia on Friday to halt aircraft and missile attacks in Georgia’s breakaway region of South Ossetia and withdraw its combat forces from Georgian territory as the situation in the former Soviet state verged on full-scale war. …Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice called the parties involved in hopes of ending the fighting, and made plans to send a U.S. envoy to the region.” Many in the comments of this website have mentioned what a travesty it is that people aren’t talking about this due to the start of the Olympics. Well, no one cares about the Olympics. It’s more like: this is a problem between two countries far far away, not the United States’ problem at all, except for oil implications, so let’s stop pretending it is. Surely the folks in Georgia and Russia are caring about this plenty enough. Meanwhile, read this hilarious thread. [AP]