Maybe if the Russians kill Twitter, Trump will give a shit about cyber security?
Trust us, this hurts Donald Trump more than it hurts Russia.
We root for Heather Nauert's success, while 100% expecting her failure.
Conor Lamb wins, Dems release their MINORITY REPORT, and Antifa Space Soldiers!
Trump doesn't need any of this crap! Except for this paddle game...and this chair...
Meet your new secretary of State, Mike Pompeo! He's the same incompetent piece of shit Trump slut he's always been.
House Republicans rush to judgment, Rex Tillerson YOU'RE FIRED, and the UK is ready to lock and load. Your morning news brief.
Who did the poisoning? RUSSIA DID! Who's Theresa May going to fuck up? RUSSIA!
Also he is MICHAEL COHEN'S BIGGEST RUSSIAN SPY BUDDY!
Bet Donald Trump wishes he could pull shit like this.
Trump tries to silence his witnesses, Kris Kobach gets schooled in court, and Florida might actually pass some gun control. Your morning news brief.
Fucking hell, we are already exhausted.
Trump still doesn't understand what an attorney general does, Jared Kushner offers jobs for huge bank loans, and Betsy DeVos protects the credit industry from poor students. Your morning news brief.
Hey, breaking news, Devin Nunes is full of shit.
Trump shitposts on Twitter, Republicans are running scared, and Philly's new D.A. (the civil rights lawyer one!) LOVES weed. Your morning news brief!
Everything's fine, America. Juuuuuuuuuust fine.