russia

Former Reagan Navy Secretary John Lehman, a Romney surrogate, held a troubling conference call today that should terrify able-bodied, capitalist Cold Warriors everywhere: “We’re seeing the Soviets pushing into the Arctic with no response from us.” Filthy conniving Reds… you can never trust that Brezhnev. One day it’s detente, next day it’s “castrate Santa; torch [...]

Oh dear, Sen. Chuck Grassley snuck out the window again after lights-out, and now he’s leading inquiries into the Secret Service sex scandal. Whatcha got so far, inspector? “Sen. Charles Grassley (R-Iowa) said the Colombia prostitutes at the center of the Secret Service scandal may have been spies planted by the Russian government.” And if [...]

Vladimir Putin is all set to steal the Russian presidential election this week, so who knows why he’s even bothering to make campaign ads, but here’s one in which a young Russian girl (a tween?) is told that Vladimir Putin is the right man to take her virginity. Her political virginity? Eh, either one probably [...]

Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin decided this week to put his bid for yet another “run” on the Internet, where he has been hanging out lately to try to charm his people following December’s huge and quite unified protests in the country. Pleasantly, his website, whose main photo (this one) looks like Putin’s attempt to [...]

It’s time for the greatest scientific barometer of America’s intellect, the Vanity Fair/CBS News poll of dingbat potpourri questions thrown at a representative sample of Americans who haven’t had their phone lines turned off by Verizon yet. What did our pollsters ask this time? To be weird, instead of asking a series of completely random [...]

It’s a good thing Russia isn’t full of Commie Rooskies anymore, and is instead ruled with an iron fist by a fascist kleptocracy — America’s biggest energy company just cut a deal with Russia’s state-run oil company to kill off the last polar bears and get the sweet, sweet crude under the rapidly melting ice [...]

GAH!!! Here is the terrifying proof of communist organizer Barack Obama’s secret socialism revealed once and 4 all!!!! Who even wants to know what this terrifying secret 50th birthday cable says. Probably just “BARACK OBAMA THANK Y?OU FOR UR HELP IN SHARING ALL OF AMERICAS SEKRETS WITH US, RUSSIA” over and over in some sort [...]

The New START Treaty finally will be ratified by the Senate today, only eight months after President Obama sat down with Russia to sign the thing in front of news cameras. This seemed like a done deal; who in their governments would really oppose drawing down the ridiculous stockpiles of aging nuclear weapons to help [...]

The eighth and ninth Republican traitor-senators have been revealed! Lamar Alexander and Bob Corker now say they’ll back the START nuclear treaty with the Soviet Union, and which requires the United States of America to have a few less nuclear death missiles, which will make it super easy for the Rooskies to drop the A-bomb [...]

No idea. This guy seems a little Chechen if you ask us. [NYT]

About two-hundred years ago, our enemies The Rooskies put an alive dog in a space capsule and shot it into orbit, for laughs. Russians have a very dark sense of humor. But Americans — especially the kind of Americans who run things, in Washington — do not have any sense of humor at all. Instead [...]

The United States’ big dreams of hosting the 2022 World Cup were shattered by one of the planet’s smallest nations. In a historic vote Thursday in Zurich, FIFA awarded the hosting rights to Qatar, a Middle Eastern country smaller than Connecticut that wowed the sport’s international governing body with innovative stadium plans, massive financial resources [...]

Congratulations, America! The U.S. war in Afghanistan has now lasted longer than the Soviet war in Afghanistan. That’s nine years and fifty-three days for us, so far, and nine years and fifty days for the USSR. One cool thing about always having wars in the same brown-people countries year after year and decade after decade [...]

The New START Treaty, signed in April by President Obama and President Dmitry Medvedev of Russia, is an agreement by the two nations to significantly limit further their nuclear warheads, an update on expiring arms treaties signed by both Presidents Bush. But because Barack Obama is the most powerful man in the world, and his [...]

All Hail John Boehner, America’s newly crowned Orange Mikado! Blessings and peace be upon him, and may he bestow upon us a plentiful cigarette harvest, so that we may have cancer of the lungs and/or mouth, whatever. Yes, November really was the Teabaggers’ “N word.” But c’mon people, it’s not like the Republicans eloped with [...]


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