Tag Archives: remainders

  rumors on the internets

USS John McCain To Nuke George Will

Michele Bachmann, Joe Lieberman, Sarah Palin, the Washington Post op-ed section and New York City all spent the past week being complete assholes. [Paul Slansky] Even if you look like some big bald chipmunk-cheeked giant baby — you know, John McCain — that doesn’t mean you will necessarily lose elections, like John McCain loses elections. [Alex Pareene] Read more on USS John McCain To Nuke George Will…
 

Remainders: Why New Vegan Lunch Options on K St. Are a Bad Sign

New lobbying group, “Hybrid Owners of America” to demand unlimited access to smug attitudes. [Detroit News] “Driving while honky” soon to be an arrestable offence in the Midwest. [HuffPo] In Oregon, macaca isn’t a racial epithet – it’s just a guy. [Re-Elect George Allen! ] Read more on Remainders: Why New Vegan Lunch Options on K St. Are a Bad Sign…
 

Remainders: Real Men Have Filthy Mouths

British Deputy PM calls Bush administration, “crap.” Dick Cheney’s heart warmed by the innocence. [The Independent] Sneaky Canadians confuse American governors with their sneaky Canadian jokes. [Boing Boing] Willie Nelson makes a non-smokable donation to Cindy Sheehan’s “ranch.” [KCEN-TV] Read more on Remainders: Real Men Have Filthy Mouths…
 

Remainders: Barack Obama Thinks Your Suit Is Dogshit

Bill Frist shows his compassionate conservatism by tolerating Nantucket-summering douchebags [Melissa C. Morris] In Sweden, all girls named Inge, all think Condi’s gay. [Swedes for Obama] The Colorado gubernatorial race hinges on the polarizing sheep-fucking issue. [Pandagon] Read more on Remainders: Barack Obama Thinks Your Suit Is Dogshit…
 

Remainders: Homeland Security Secretary Henry Rollins

Bill Bennett: separated at birth from another fat blowhard. [Brains Over Bombs] The Condi Rice issue of Playboy will finally reveal her turn-ons, including, “a hard throbbing insurgency.” [The Anacostia Diaries] Read more on Remainders: Homeland Security Secretary Henry Rollins…
 

Remainders: The Cabal of Interns That Runs The World

Al Sharpton’s descent into madness reaches new milestone with incorporation of the “Space Jam” theme song into Connecticut rally speech. [Hartford Courant] Dilbert creator longs to be a cog in the machine. [Dilbert Blog] Read more on Remainders: The Cabal of Interns That Runs The World…
 

Remainders: Welcome To Miami Where The Ass Kissing Is On

Katherine Harris pens blog post, incites flurry of pandering to Florida’s Cuban voters. [The Hill Blog] Ousted from Connecticut, Juan Liebermantienez to lead coup in Cuba. [The Satirical Political Report] Vanity Fair releases military tapes from 9/11, titles article as if it were a classic rock box set. [Vanity Fair] Read more on Remainders: Welcome To Miami Where The Ass Kissing Is On…
 

Remainders: Buy the Ones You Can and Kill The Rest

Rupert Murdoch carries heads of state in his pocket, “like so many nickels and dimes.” [HuffPo] In order to make “Senator Katherine Harris” a reality, she’ll have to succeed where the Mafia and John Kennedy failed. [The DC Universe] Read more on Remainders: Buy the Ones You Can and Kill The Rest…
 

Remainders: It Just Kinda Sucks

In case there was still any doubt as to why MTV will never do a season of Real World in DC: a Francis Fukuyama/Charles Krauthammer blowjob scene. [The Corsair] If a journalist writes 4000 words on the relevance of journalism in the internet age, and every reader does the first-n-last paragraph scan, do the other 3900 words exist? [New Yorker] Read more on Remainders: It Just Kinda Sucks…
 

Remainders: Pour Out Some Of That 40oz For Rabelais’s Merry Epic

An Egyptian conspiracy-theory music video with cartoon representations of America and Israel is the depressing comic gold Ionesco warned us about. [Andrew Sullivan] Novelist Frederick Forsyth loves global terrorism, couldn’t pay mortgage without it. [Galleycat] Read more on Remainders: Pour Out Some Of That 40oz For Rabelais’s Merry Epic…
 

Remainders: Pretty Good For A Girl

Sweet old lady hates Bush so much she works a room of children into a murderous rage. Grandma’s Militia now on terrorist watch list. [The Australian] Terrorist watch list isn’t what it used to be though. [Pandagon] Read more on Remainders: Pretty Good For A Girl…
 

Remainders: In The Future Everyone Will Be Famous For The Length of Their YouTube Clip

Computer nerd explains how to modify voting machines, confuses the shit out of lawmakers. [Google Video] Those witty, witty computer hackers. [Flickr] Canadian band is banned from US, after refusing customs agents’ request to, “play some Skynyrd.” [Boing Boing] Read more on Remainders: In The Future Everyone Will Be Famous For The Length of Their YouTube Clip…
 

Remainders: Washington Think Tanks Join Forces To Form “The Obvious Conclusion League of America”

CIA confirms it’s still the evilest motherfucker on the block by firing DC blogger “Econo-Girl” for a post stating, “torture is wrong.” [Econo-Girl] The Brookings Institute focuses the full intellect of their army of PhDs and comes up with “it sucks to be poor.” [NYT] Read more on Remainders: Washington Think Tanks Join Forces To Form “The Obvious Conclusion League of America”…
 

Remainders: Tits and Shits Pay the Bills at the FCC

Lou Dobbs doesn’t know shit about the Middle East, but neither do you. [CNN] Potential government jurisdiction clusterfuck over Bush’s s-bomb drop. [Fishbowl DC] Apparently, firing a missile at someone isn’t smack talk enough, as “your mamma” jokes now getting written on Lebanon bound rockets. [AP] Read more on Remainders: Tits and Shits Pay the Bills at the FCC…
 

Remainders: To The Igloo From Whence He Came

Congresswoman Jan Schakowsky is completely right, we must “plug the donut hole.” [Hill Blog] CNN is there for you, no matter how bad it gets. [Drink At Work] A little ditty, bout Jack and Dan – two American has-beens, doin’ the best they can. [Newsmax] Read more on Remainders: To The Igloo From Whence He Came…
 

Remainders: In Jail, TTYL

Wolf Blitzer closes his eyes, counts to three, and wishes that when he opens them all the dead Palestinians will be gone. [HuffPo] Small Pennsylvania town increases illegality of illegal immigrants, sick birds. [AP] Read more on Remainders: In Jail, TTYL…
 

Remainders: Past The Velvet Tube

It’s time to break out the good drugs – DJ Ted Stevens is on the ones and twos. [Bold Headed] All of DJ Ted’s 25 friends will be there. [MySpace] Dick Cheney can’t share a bed with a woman who doesn’t know what its like to shoot someone in the face. [Rock Creek Rambler] Read more on Remainders: Past The Velvet Tube…
 

Remainders: Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow

The DCCC is so committed to the environment they’re recycling stock photos and a Bill Clinton quote for America’s “new direction.” [DCCC] Rahm Emanuel hates Blake Gottesman as much as you do. [K Street Blues] Read more on Remainders: Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow…
 

Remainders: Lynch the Landlord

ABC News is convinced that foreign diplomats in the US are the most passive-aggressive people on the planet. [The Blotter] Congress to Smithsonian: eat shit and die. [LA Times] Mojo Nixon campaigns in Texas, “If your state don’t have Kinky Friedman, than your state could use some votin’.” [Mojo Nixon] Read more on Remainders: Lynch the Landlord…