Beloved Utah Republican Orrin Hatch loves to sing, and he loves to compose songs, so he can sing them! The songs are often about the Mormon God, but this time the song is about the Liberal God, Ted Kennedy, who has tragically died of old age and sickness. Enjoy! [YouTube via "Scott R."]

So what’s going on with “So-So” today, the first day of Q&A at her confirmation hearings? Ah, famous musician Orrin Hatch wants to know how she could uphold a state ban on the use of nunchucks, as she did in the case of Michelangelo the Bipedal Turtle vs. State of New York, because we all know that the Constitution’s second amendment legalizes ninja murder. [YouTube]

United States senators have all sorts of fun pastimes. Some of them enjoy innocent diaper-play with prostitutes, while others hold drunken poolside orgies that feature potato-less potato salad. Senator Orrin Hatch, Republican of Utah and known vehicular menace, prefers a more sedate form of diversion: gently running over pedestrians, in the rain. MORE »

We of course never read Dana Milbank, but this little bit is actually kind of funny, due to the scarily incompetent driving of one Senator Orrin Hatch, who has not operated a motorcar since the fall of Vichy France. MORE »

Senator Orrin Hatch is an old conservative Republican from Utah, the most conservative Republican state in the country: so it’s no surprise that in a moment of weakness the balladeer of the Senate would pen a sweet, romantic ode to one of his male colleagues. Apparently he is great pals with Ted Kennedy, whose battle with brain cancer compelled Hatch to write a ballad called “Headed Home.” But it is not about heads. MORE »

Utah Senator Orrin Hatch is an accomplished musician, and these days he’s using his natural gifts to celebrate his homosexual love for President John McCain. His new song, “Together Forever,” is a lovely ode to John McCain’s Campaign for America. Try syncing it up with a vigorous reading of John McCain’s economic plan — right when it mentions the reduction in corporate tax rates from 35% to 25%, there’s quite possibly the best staccato flourish Hatch has composed in 17 years. Lyrics after the jump! MORE »

In what world could the partnership of Orrin Hatch, Joe Lieberman, and Tom Davis becalled “bipartisan”? When Eleanor Holmes Norton is getting cozy with them, obv, so she can finally have a real-life “vote” in that crazy House of Representatives. As this is a deal with the devils, it means fucking Utah gets one more representative. Because poor and black people may only be allowed equal rights if white nutjobs in the hinterlands get a little something in return for their troubles. Oh, these four all “wrote” an op-ed today, that’s why we’re talking about it. Fun Facts we learned about DC voting rights, after the jump. MORE »

* Heard on the Hill: Al Gore: Sinister agent of the Queen of England? … House members outraged over changes to taco salad procedure … Orrin Hatch uses obscure loophole in Mormon doctrine to say “shit” and get away with it. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Bill and Hill drive across the street, gladhand Ellie Smeal, get a table before she does. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Clintons too cheap to feed their followers … People keep buying Thomas Friedman’s damn book for some reason. [Examiner]
* Shenanigans: Jesse Jackson Jr. has a Segway … Chris Shays leaps over a fence for some reason. [Politico]
* Page Six: Eric Bogosian disses Tom DeLay, who is no longer permitted to kill men on a whim. [NYP]

* Heard on the Hill: Real estate website features on online tour of Samuel Alito’s house… Joe Lieberman voted on Shabbos, walked to the Capitol from his Georgetown house… Orrin Hatch’s website is full of lies. [Roll Call]
* Yeas and Nays: Dennis Kucinich’s website is full of pictures of his hot wife. [Examiner]
* Shenanigans: Hillary has not co-sponsored legislation to make her husband’s childhood home a national historic site… Tony Snow is going to ask questions of reporters tonight at the Press Club in a hilarious switcharoo. [Politico]

* You do know what happens if you just assume everyone hates Cheney more than Bush, don’t you? [Election Central]
* O’Reilly checks the mirror at 8 and 11:30 EST. [Just a Bump in the Beltway]
* Nothing gets Orrin Hatch harder than watching Alberto Gonzalez busting pornographers on the internets. [Unclaimed Territory]
* Chinese “satellite killer” missiles target only military assets — iPod and Xbox ordering infrastructure remains unscathed. [Defense Tech]
* Straight from the home office in Phoenix, Arizona: tonight’s top 15 things John McCain is doing to turn himself into a pandering cartoon. [The Carpetbagger Report]
* Al Franken appeals to “Minnesota Nice” voters by actually running as Stuart Smalley. [Wizbang Politics]
* Bob Ney would start cracking beers in the morning even before the glue on his head was dry. [TPM Muckraker]

A dumb new poll proves Americans continue to be religious bigots: 43% say they’ll never ever vote for a weirdo Mormon president, while just 38% said they’d even consider voting for a scary Mormon. MORE »