orrin hatch
Don’t be surprised to see a statement next week from six-term Utah Senator Orrin Hatch that he is leaving office “to spend more time with [his] undersea Holocaust-victim baptizing chamber.” DON’T BELIEVE THE HYPE, as Orrin’s favorite old-timey band used to say!!! Hatch is likely to be effectively drummed out of office in the state’s [...]
Orrin Hatch on the Senate floor, you guys: “President Obama has traded in the hard hat and lunch bucket category of the Democratic Party for a hipster fedora and a double skim latte.” Wow, he traded in an entire category of his coalition for a single hat and coffee drink! Is that a “Fair Trade” [...]
A shrieking horde of Tea Partiers (they do not come in any other format) stormed the National Republican Senatorial Committee offices demanding that it stop supporting GOP senators, which is its job. HOH NOH, we do not want your terrible “moderate Republicans,” they cried, especially this disgusting old Orrin Hatch person. (Haha, Hatch is a [...]
Time to load up on Visine spray? The Salt Lake Tribune reports (via Reason): People seeking unemployment benefits or welfare would have to first pass a drug test under a proposal Sen. Orrin Hatch will try to add to legislation extending the social safety net during this time of economic turmoil. Hatch, R-Utah, said his [...]
For some reason (publisher needed to go bankrupt for tax reasons?), somebody gave Dana Milbank a book deal. It’s out today, and it’s about Glenn Beck and entitled Tears of a Clown: Glenn Beck and the Tea Bagging of America, because Dana Milbank must want to be the next Ed Schultz or something. To drum [...]
Wow, Constitution Day is already here? Looks like the holiday season that began last week with 9/11 is nearly over and we all will have to go back to work soon. So what do we do on Constitution Day? BLASPHEME! This holiday was created in 2004 when the late Robert Byrd stuck it into a [...]
We all know that Orrin Hatch loves Judaism and singing about his favorite holiday, Hanukkah. But apparently he loves all other religions too. And thus he supports the rights of Muslims to build a community center in Manhattan, if they want to, he said in an interview with a Utah Fox affiliate. No biggie. “And [...]
Famed Utah hazzan Senator Orrin Hatch proposed an amendment to the $140 billion jobs benefits extension bill today that would make people seeking welfare benefits first pass a drug test. Welfare will now be a level playing field, as poor people will not be able to get away with taking steroids to make themselves super-poor. [...]
Old Orrin Hatch now FOR SOME REASON wants to amend the 2005 Stolen Valor Act, which broadened federal language to prosecute people wearing or selling or just cold showin’ off military medals and honors that they themselves did not earn in combat. (Before this act, federal law had just applied to the Medal of Honor; [...]
Elitist un-ordinary New York snob Elena Kagan has been making the rounds in the Senate office buildings, where she goes to meet Very Important senators and have small talk for a few minutes, after which each senator tells the media something like, “We had a very nice chat. I look forward to asking her questions, [...]
Orrin Hatch, much like the single richest member of Congress, Rep. Darrell Issa, is concerned about this so-called “legal law suit of law” against the great company Goldman Sachs. Isn’t it HMM SUSPICIOUS that the SEC filed this suit against a financial company’s terrible business practices just as the Senate is considering major legislation about [...]
Sweet Senatorial songbird Orrin Hatch has written the lyrics to another song! This time it is not about the Mormon God or even the Liberal God (Ted Kennedy) but rather the Jewish God, who locked His people in a dark barn for eight days in celebration of the very first Fake Christmas. The point is, [...]
Beloved Utah Republican Orrin Hatch loves to sing, and he loves to compose songs, so he can sing them! The songs are often about the Mormon God, but this time the song is about the Liberal God, Ted Kennedy, who has tragically died of old age and sickness. Enjoy! [YouTube via "Scott R."]
