Tag Archives: ohio

  Scenes From The Class Photo Struggle

Eighth-Grader’s Class Picture Photoshopped Because It Had F-Word On It (‘Feminist’)

Yes, in case you were wondering, “Feminist” is actually a dirty word — dirty enough to get retouched out of an 8th-grade class photo at Clermont Northeastern Middle School in Batavia, Ohio, at least. Thirteen-year-old Sophie — real first name, last name withheld — had worn her homemade “FEMINIST” t-shirt to school without any issues a few weeks back, according to a letter from her mom to the Women You Should Know blog. It was also class photo day. But when the class photos came back, Sophie’s shirt was cleverly retouched to a nice uniform black, with no trace of her handiwork: Read more on Eighth-Grader’s Class Picture Photoshopped Because It Had F-Word On It (‘Feminist’)…
  Tipgate

Prepare Madame Guillotine: Hillary Clinton Did Not Tip At Fast-Food Restaurant Chipotle Exclamation Point

Don't Americans deserve the truth? Or at least the 'truth'?
It is far too early in the 2016 presidential election cycle to officially declare this is the stupidest story we are going to see, but hot damn, it’ll probably still be a strong contender by Election Day. Read more on Prepare Madame Guillotine: Hillary Clinton Did Not Tip At Fast-Food Restaurant Chipotle Exclamation Point…
  a feature not a bug

If Kansas Jumped Off A Bridge, Would Other States Do It Too? Apparently Yes!

That bridge sucked anyway.
You may be familiar with the state of Kansas, where Governor Sam Brownback and the ruling GOP have conducted what Brownback has called a “great experiment” in conservative economics. They’ve radically slashed income taxes, especially for top earners, on the theory that liberating this money will supercharge the economy; businesses will flock in, new jobs will be created, and an orgy of private sector commerce will fill the budget hole caused by the tax cuts. Read more on If Kansas Jumped Off A Bridge, Would Other States Do It Too? Apparently Yes!…
  introducing john kasizzzzzzzzzz

John Kasich Explores Presidential Bid, Hopes Everyone Can Stay Awake Long Enough To Vote For Him

Basically Tim Pawlenty with slightly more experience. Whatever happened to T-Paw anyway?
Everyone scoot over, we’ve got another passenger for the Republican clown car. John Kasich, the colorless blob of wheat germ currently serving as governor of Ohio, is on an eight-state speaking tour that just coincidentally happens to include South Carolina, home of one of the nation’s early primaries. Even more coincidentally, news of his trip first leaked to the Washington Post last week, which meant a write-up from WaPo political reporter Robert Costa this week. Let us take a look at the latest boring white guy we might be writing jokes about for the next year. (Please kill us.) Read more on John Kasich Explores Presidential Bid, Hopes Everyone Can Stay Awake Long Enough To Vote For Him…
  For I was A Stranger And You Kicked Me out Into The Snow

Columbus Super 8 Motel Has No Room At Inn For Good Samaritans’ Homeless Couple

Oh no, it's the kittens
Here’s a story to make you love humanity: George and Joyce Gruss were traveling through Columbus, Ohio, during the weekend’s snowstorm, stopped in at a fast food restaurant, and decided to help a homeless couple they met, paying for the couple to spend three nights at a Super 8 Motel so they wouldn’t have to stay outside in 9-degree weather. Isn’t that the spirit of generosity that makes America so exceptional? Read more on Columbus Super 8 Motel Has No Room At Inn For Good Samaritans’ Homeless Couple…
  at least the bastard was convicted this time

Homeless Rape Victim Gets To Walk Miles And Miles To Face Rapist In Court, Because America

So here is a story that kind of has an okay ending, except all the parts that will make you want to skip your afternoon munchies because everything is terrible. A homeless woman in Columbus, Ohio, was brutally raped last spring, and she decided to do something to make sure the bastard who did it didn’t get to walk away from his crimes unscathed. So she just made sure, hell or high water, that she’d be there in court to face him down, even if it meant she had to walk eight miles to the courthouse to attend his court hearings. Which is exactly what she did: Read more on Homeless Rape Victim Gets To Walk Miles And Miles To Face Rapist In Court, Because America…
 

Judge To Obama: Stop Letting In All Those Immigrants Who Are Already Here!

Screw you, huddled masses
Wednesday was supposed to be the day President Obama officially rolled out the Kenyan welcome mat for all them illegals who’ve already snuck across our border to infect us with diseases and their strange foreign languages. But oh no, you can un-unfurl that Hispanic flag over the White House, Mr. Thinks He’s So President, because United States District Judge Andrew S. Hanen has put a stop to that nonsense, at least for now. Read more on Judge To Obama: Stop Letting In All Those Immigrants Who Are Already Here!…
  The Decisis Stares Back At You

SCOTUS: Everyone’s Getting Gay-Marriage Throat-Crammed This June

Have fun biting your nails
Well, we saw this one coming: The Supreme Court will (probably) decide once and for all whether states can ban gay marriage. The Court agreed Friday to review the 6th Circuit Court of Appeals’ decision in DeBoer v. Snyder, which is the only one of a recent string of federal appeals court decisions to hold that four states — Michigan, Kentucky, Tennessee, and Ohio — can restrict marriage to straight people only. Read more on SCOTUS: Everyone’s Getting Gay-Marriage Throat-Crammed This June…
  The Derp Before Christmas

Derp Roundup: Zombie Baby Jesus Edition

And that's what Hearth's Warming Eve is all about, Zombie Brown
It’s a special Ho-Ho-Huh? Edition of Derp Roundup, the feature where we bring you the stories that don’t quite deserve their very own posts, but are too stupid to ignore altogether. So light the candles and gather round the hearth, and start drinking  first thing in the morning if that gets you through this mess. Absinthe is Christmassy, isn’t it? Read more on Derp Roundup: Zombie Baby Jesus Edition…
  Not Sure I Agree With You 100% On Your Police Work There

Ohio Cops Who Killed Guy In Walmart Pretty Sure His Girlfriend Made Them Do It

A lotta police departments might base their interrogation on the facts of the case. Or not.
Remember John Crawford, shot to death by police in an Ohio Walmart for carrying a BB gun he’d picked up off the store’s shelf? For extra “fun,” we bring you The Guardian’s story on the interrogation of his girlfriend, Tasha Thomas, in an apparent attempt by police to prove that of course Crawford had it coming, don’t you know he was black? Read more on Ohio Cops Who Killed Guy In Walmart Pretty Sure His Girlfriend Made Them Do It…
  Mentors: The Faithmaker

Jesus Has A Whole New Bag: Mentoring Ohio Public School Kids

Mentoring means the kids get Mentos, right?
So here’s a terrific idea to help At Risk Youth (you know, poor kids) overcome the problems of poverty: get them into a mentoring program, so they can learn skills for success and learn gooder in school. And so, with a bit of fanfare and a photo op surrounded by underprivileged kids and their smiling teachers, Ohio Gov. John Kasich went to a Cleveland elementary school in June to sign into law a bill that would provide $10 million in funds for mentoring. Yay, kids and success! Oh, and also, if schools want to participate in the mentoring program, they’ll have to partner with a business — because entrepreneurs made America great, we guess — and also partner with a church or other faith-based group, according to a report by Cleveland.com: Read more on Jesus Has A Whole New Bag: Mentoring Ohio Public School Kids…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Just How Awful Is Cleveland’s Police Department? Federal Takeover Awful (Video)

Seriously bad cops
Rachel Maddow led off Thursday’s broadcast with a review of just how terrible the police are in Cleveland, Ohio. How terrible? Very. Very, very terrible. The Justice Department released a report Thursday on the policing madness in that city, along with an agreement to put a federal monitor in place to clean up the police department — for the second time in a decade. There’s almost too much bad police behavior to wrap your head around, and the investigation wrapped up before the recent police shooting of 12-year-old Tamir Rice. Read more on Morning Maddow: Just How Awful Is Cleveland’s Police Department? Federal Takeover Awful (Video)…
  The Second Amendment Is Not A Toy

Gun-Humpers Awfully Quiet About 12-Year-Old Dead Boy Tamir Rice’s Open-Carry Rights. Huh.

This is Tamir Rice.
As everyone on the Internets knows, there’s nobody more dedicated to freedom and our precious rights as Americans than the Open Carry crowd. They love freedom, at least as long as it’s the freedom to walk around with an AR-15 anywhere you want to, and if someone says walking around packing heat just for the sake of pissing people off is stupid, then that critic obviously hates America and freedom, even if they’re the NRA. And if police ever hassle open carriers for carrying openly, you bet they’ll post indignant videos about how their rights are being menaced, and they’ll all shout “Moron Labia” and call for armed revolution if necessary. Read more on Gun-Humpers Awfully Quiet About 12-Year-Old Dead Boy Tamir Rice’s Open-Carry Rights. Huh….
  Our Cold Dead Hands

A Responsible Gun Owner Thanksgiving

Not related to the story but CUTE.
With the annual Harvest Feast nearly upon us, when we give thanks for all our blessings, especially the Second Amendment, which makes all other blessings possible, let’s take a quick look at how America’s Responsible Gun Owners are keeping themselves safe from crime and preventing tyranny. Read more on A Responsible Gun Owner Thanksgiving…
  Stick to TED Talks

Sixth Circuit Strikes Down Gay Marriage For Stupid Reasons That Are Dumb

But we're leaving out The Gay, right? Right!
Well, looky here, the 6th Circuit Court of Appeals has decided to cram homophobia down everyone’s throats. Talk about judicial activism! In a 2-1 decision, the three-judge panel — with the dissenter writing a most epic dissent, but we’ll get to that — ruled in DeBoer v. Snyder that it is perfectly fine and legal, and probably also good for the children, to ban marriage equality in Michigan, Ohio, Kentucky, and Tennessee. The court uses a lot of fancy legal jargon like “strict scrutiny” and “rational basis review” and lots of citations to lots of cases to make it look like the judges are just doing their jobs, but when you cut out all of that lawtalk, the basic premise of the court’s decision to overturn the lower courts’ decisions is that, as judges, they cannot possibly decide whether it is constitutional to discriminate against gay people for being gay. What are they — judges? Read more on Sixth Circuit Strikes Down Gay Marriage For Stupid Reasons That Are Dumb…
  Fraught With Fraud

Wingnut Group’s Exciting ‘Vote Fraud’ App Discovers Black Woman In Polling Place

The tech-savvy wingnuts at True The Vote (a group inalterably opposed to both truth and voting) had a brilliant idea to allow their supporters to document all the dirty shenanigans and voter fraud that they just knew for sure was going on in the election this year: A week before the election, they released a cool smartphone app so people could be all crowdsourcey and make sure that no fraud went unreported. The app allowed people to report all sorts of chicanery that had to be happening at their polling places: Read more on Wingnut Group’s Exciting ‘Vote Fraud’ App Discovers Black Woman In Polling Place…
  Please Run For President!

We Found You That Double Supersecret Video Of John Kasich Being An Asshat

I can't hear you, I can't hear you, la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Yesterday we brought you the odd story of the Disappearing John Kasich Video, in which we learned that the Cleveland Plain Dealer’s corporate overlords, Northeast Ohio Media Group, (call ‘em “NEOMG,” because “Ni! OMG!” is fun to say) had removed a video of its editorial board meeting with Ohio gubernatorial candidates for an endorsement interview. Read more on We Found You That Double Supersecret Video Of John Kasich Being An Asshat…
  Protip: Miami University Is Nowhere Near The Beach

George Will Discovers New Rape Category

Lucky duckies
George Will advanced the frontiers of Republican classifications of rape during a Wednesday appearance at Miami University, finding a whole new kind of rape that can be added to Legitimate Rape, God Gave You the Precious Gift of a Baby Rape, and Forcible Rape. Read more on George Will Discovers New Rape Category…
  But He Won't Do That

Gov. Kasich Will Still Murder Your Obamacare, Ohio, Except For All The Parts Of It

Mentoring means the kids get Mentos, right?
This one makes a lot of sense: Ohio Gov. John Kasich kind of embarrassed himself by speaking a very uncomfortable truth Monday, saying that even though Republicans like to talk about repealing Obamacare, it’s just “not gonna happen,” and that Republican opposition to the Affordable Care Act was “really either political or ideological.” Or at least that’s what the Associated press quoted him as saying. Read more on Gov. Kasich Will Still Murder Your Obamacare, Ohio, Except For All The Parts Of It…
  potent quotables

Ohio Golden Boy Josh Mandel Pretends Nice Words About His Opponent Are For Him

We assumed we had seen the last of Josh Mandel, Boy Treasurer of Ohio, back in 2012 when he lost a Senate election to rumpled Shar-Pei Sherrod Brown. But apparently Mandel has been running for re-election for treasurer this year, against a Democratic state representative named Connie Pillich. For a guy who has consistently held a decent lead in the polls for the entire campaign, Mandel sure seems hard up for compliments to use in his ads. Read more on Ohio Golden Boy Josh Mandel Pretends Nice Words About His Opponent Are For Him…
  Next Time Just Stick To Gluttony And Sloth

Pervy Nonagenarian Televangelist Did … Oh Jesus Christ

Now grab the back of your TV set...
It’s been a while since we’ve heard from the faith-healing ministry leader and televangelist Ernest Angley, who was also the the real-life inspiration for Robin Williams’s classic “Reverend Earnest Angry.” Until 35 years later, when Monday we read that Rev. Angley is doing his very best to out-Bake Jim Bakker and Out-Swagger Jimmy Swaggart. Those chumps may have been satisfied with mere sexxytimes shenanigans and fraud (Bakker), and sad masturbatory prostie visits (Swaggart), but by Crom, no way were such penny-ante scandals going to be enough for Ernest Angley. No, he’s going to close out his 60-something-year career with accusations of full-blown cultism, complete with creepy control over his flock’s sex lives — forcing men to have vasectomies and women to have abortions — and to top it off, several years of unwanted laying on of hands on a former pastor and allowing sexual abuse of boys in the church, allegedly. Read more on Pervy Nonagenarian Televangelist Did … Oh Jesus Christ…