A Pittsburgh pastor who wrote a not-quite-bestselling book about his successful struggle to become a former gay has been arrested for sexually assaulting a teenaged boy. On the one hand, it looks like pretty strong evidence that attempts to pray away the gay just don’t take, but we’d also like to point out that, comes […]

Welcome to another Derp Roundup, the feature where we turn a pressure-washer on our browser tabs and skim off the weird, just for you. Please read responsibly and do not operate heavy machinery while under the influence of Derp. Our Lead Derp is one of those things that we didn’t know was a thing until […]

So here’s what happens when Republicans start turning voter suppression into a competition: In Ohio, it’s gotten so bad that a state representative is leading an effort to add a Voter Bill of Rights to the state Constitution to prevent any more efforts to muck around with the ability to vote. Ohio state Rep. Alicia […]

In what looks like a pretty obvious pitch for an as-yet-unmade cable TV drama series, an Ohio police chief dated a heroin addict wanted on drug charges instead of arresting her. Police Chief Lucas Mace, of the village of Glouster, has been indicted on multiple charges after hiding Hillary Hooper — come on, says Showtime, […]

The great pageant of democracy (or before our more excitable teabagger friends write in, “Our Constitutional Republic”) lurched forward yesterday and vomited forth a whole bunch of candidates for the fall general elections! Let’s wipe ‘em off and see what they look like — just don’t get too close. The big question on everybody’s mind: […]

Drug testing: is there nothing it can’t do? Remember when Florida was gonna drug test all the poors because they were poor and were foolish enough to apply for state aid and then everyone realized that living skeleton Governor Rick Scott was going to make large amounts of coin from the endeavor because his company […]

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we scrape the dumbest possible news leftovers off our overheated browser tabs, blend them into an almost-digestible slurry, and serve them up to you with a muffin and a warning to imbibe heavily. Our Prime Derp this week is actually not so much the […]

Hey, 2014 midterm people? Especially those of you who are Tea Party Republicans? What is your hard-on for the dick-joke-themed ads this election season? Sure, we make dick jokes, but we are vulgar and obscene and ain’t nobody voting us into Congress, although they could and have done worse. And even we moved on from […]

Man, it is a great time to be gay and the saddest time ever to hate on the gays, as state after state after state turns homosexual. Ohio was only partly gay, having recognized gay marriage for the purpose of death certificates late last year, but now they have let the homosexxicans take over everything […]

Were you wondering if there was anyone left working at PETA who wasn’t the vegan equivalent of a Westboro Church member? Worry your pretty head no more, because PETA is disabusing you of the notion that anyone rational remains by suggesting it buy Jeffrey Dahmer’s childhood home and turn it into a vegan restaurant. We […]

Saturday’s “worldwide” march to preserve white people from getting genocided by diversity had a slightly disappointing turnout, though we hear that a bunch of people were talking about it on Twitter. RawStory was able to find all of two manifestations of the march’s huge success: 10 guys parading in Florence, Ohio, Kentucky, and several anonymous […]

Welcome to another installment of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we bring you a bunch of stories that didn’t quite merit their own posts but were too stupid to ignore altogether. As usual, we recommend you fortify yourself with whatever helps you get through reading it — alcohol, weed, or a +10 Potion of […]

Welcome, kids, to Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we give our browser tabs a Silkwood shower, then inspect the drains for stories that are too stoopid to ignore altogether, but not enough to hang a full blog post on. We recommend that you apply the mood-altering substance equivalent of a wire brush to your […]

You solved the problem of lying in politics when you were like six years old. “Just pass a law against telling lies!” dumb little like-six-year-old you said, adorably. But it wasn’t that easy. “No, little you,” said a wise adult. “We have free speech in this country, which means that you can’t stop people from […]

This will probably come as a big surprise to regular readers of the Wonkette: A minor Republican elected official has gotten himself in the news for sending a racist email joke! Yes, it is astonishing, we know. This time around, it’s Norwalk, Ohio city council member Bob Carleton, who sent this hilarious satire on modern […]