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Posts Tagged ‘oh shit’

Hello, Super Double Great Depression!

Tuesday, July 1st, 2008

We seem to be having some economic problems. Los Angeles billionaire Eli Broad (the “B” in KB Homes) tells Bloomberg that “this is worse than any recession we’ve had since World War II.” Bloomberg editors noted, on Friday, that U.S. stock declines hadn’t been so lousy since June of 1930, during that Great Depression. Ah, hell …. MORE »


Ray Gun To Make DNC Protesters Spurt Diarrhea

Thursday, June 12th, 2008

Slimed!Here is a fun domestic terror tactic to use against people protesting a political convention: Fire a ray gun at a crowd of these ingrates and then laugh as they all convulse and then shit themselves and then disperse, to die, because their bowels have just been microwaved. Fox News says such weaponry will be deployed at this summer’s Democratic Convention in Denver. MORE »


Oh Great, The Stockbrokers Are Praying

Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008


The caption to this AP photo says “a stockbroker prays as he watches the Bombay Stock Exchange index tumble in Mumbai, India, on Tuesday.” But to which god is he praying? Let’s hope it’s the Mormon Jesus who made Mitt Romney so rich. We could all use some of the Mormon Jesus Money today. [MSNBC]


Answers From Above

Friday, May 25th, 2007

* A bird took a shit on President Bush. Then he wiped the shit off. [AmericaBlog]
* Fathers keep their daughters out of the clear heels by not naming them “Monica.” [Political Arithmetik]
* John Edwards passes the gay test. [Pandagon]
* “Al Gore has transcended.” [HuffPo]
* Notoriously bad courtesy laugher Ron Paul to be put to the test by Bill Maher. [TechPresident]
* John McCain, Barack Obama, Matt Drudge, and a bong. [Election Central]


Rumors On The Internets: God is Dead

Wednesday, January 17th, 2007

* Iranians claim to have shot an American drone. No, not that drone. [Fars News]
* “Walnuts” is being challenged for official John McCain diminutive of ‘07. [Blondesense]
* Chris Matthews shows how it’s done. [Eschaton]
* Richard “Air Adonis” Branson will let your glow sticks and ecstasy on his plane if you help him stick it the Transportation Department. [Let VA Fly]
* President Bush is pretty much over saying “God bless America” all the damn time. [Political Insider]
* New Saddam Hussein video worth the two clicks. [The Jawa Report]
* The American economy: Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta. [The Big Picture]


Daily Briefing: Horses, Corn, Disease, and Now Nukes

Monday, October 9th, 2006
  • The Democratic People’s Republic of North Korea detonates the tiny little nuclear weapon they made. US forces were so looking forward to Iran. [WP, NYT, LAT,USAT, W$J]

  • Jim Kolbe, Congress’s only openly gay Republican, confronted Foley all the way back in 2000. [WP]
  • But the “main” cover up started here: details about the Fall 2005 Foley “intervention” with Trandahl, Shimkus. [NYT]
  • Republican Congressional candidates say Foley is still “sucking,” hurting their campaigns. [WP]
  • George Allen, “The Man Who Could Maybe Still Get Elected Sheriff In Lynchburg,” neglected to report stock options in technology companies he got after serving as Governor, but before joining the senate. [NYT]
  • Fareed Zakaria is not too sexy for secret Iraq war justification meetings. [NYT]
  • Slapping childrens’ asses increases their chance of becoming a greedy corporate shrew. [USAT]
  • UN Anti-Poverty campaign testing viral video marketing, surprised at how “tasteless” Americans really are. [WSJ]

Remainders: Tits and Shits Pay the Bills at the FCC

Wednesday, July 19th, 2006
  • Lou Dobbs doesn’t know shit about the Middle East, but neither do you. [CNN]

  • Potential government jurisdiction clusterfuck over Bush’s s-bomb drop. [Fishbowl DC]
  • Apparently, firing a missile at someone isn’t smack talk enough, as “your mamma” jokes now getting written on Lebanon bound rockets. [AP]
  • A picture of Putin as a small boy just yearning for some tummy-kissing-man-love. [Iran Defense]
  • Rush Limbaugh’s “Viagra-fueled boners” convince him to cite a lady blogger whose statistics seem to come from, “out of her anal cavity.” [James Wolcott]

Metro Section: Get Rich or Get Fired For Not Tryin’

Tuesday, July 18th, 2006
  • DC Cops still believe arresting murderers who purchase Swedish made penis enlargers with stolen credit cards ain’t in their job description. [Velvet In Dupont]

  • Not that it matters — in DC you can stack papers with out ever looking at the stack of paper on your desk. [Cut DC Taxes]
  • There’s even money to be made selling tourists a little piece of the pretending-to-work culture. [Are Seven]
  • Sorry hippie, these blurbs on the mayoral candidates won’t mean shit to you unless you’re a registered Democrat. [Til Human Voices Wake Us, And We Drown]
  • Is it hot in here? Or is Obama talking about STD’s again? [ An Orange County Girl]
  • In junior high, calling it a “needle” was an insult. [Grace's Poppies]