Tag Archives: moms

  Time to start offending people who don't live in Iowa

Chris Christie Throws New Jersey Lady-Pigs Under 2016 Campaign Bus

Christie smash
Photo by Beth Ethier Chris Christie is a master of pre-presidential innovation. Having spent the 2014 midterm season hitting key states to campaign for Republican candidates, Christie has moved on to a bold new tactic: inviting Iowans to decide which laws are best for New Jersey where he is, at least nominally, still governor. Read more on Chris Christie Throws New Jersey Lady-Pigs Under 2016 Campaign Bus…
  I can't believe I drank the whole thing

PepsiCo’s Lady President Has A Mom, And She Is A Dick

PepsiCo’s president is some dumb lady, Indra Nooyi we guess, and she was pretty excited when she got some dumb important job, instead of knowing where her real priorities should lie. (“Family.” “It’s all about family.” Which is in no way a sentiment that brings out the worst vice-cloaked-as-virtue Americans are prone to, the xenophobic us-against-them, or the suspicion of auslaender, or other terrible American traits, no sirree, it does not, and certainly when we see a profile from a man on one dating site or other proclaim that he spends all his time with his family, who are all that matters, we do not run screaming into traffic, not at all.) So, Indra Nooyi, what did your mom think of your job? As we say to our own mother when we want her to know we value our talks, and also we want the long version, “Tell us the long version please!” Read more on PepsiCo’s Lady President Has A Mom, And She Is A Dick…
  Enhanced Parenting Techniques

Heartwarming Viral Video Presents Motherhood As CIA Torture. Yay Moms.

Have you seen that ADORABLE ad, about how moms are unpaid slaves and what kind of idiot would take a job as one? Here, watch all 14 hours because apparently Ghost Andy Warhol is making greeting card viral videos now. (My mom: “I watched ‘Empire’ in the theater. It was WONDERFUL.” My mom is a liar.) Read more on Heartwarming Viral Video Presents Motherhood As CIA Torture. Yay Moms….
  he who does not have ears to hear is the devil probably why not

Pat Robertson Can’t Believe This Terrible Mother Can’t Even Heal Son’s Deafness Through Prayer

Hey ladies, how are you screwing up your children today? Are you smothering them? You are probably smothering them. Are you neglecting them, with your whoring at your “job”? You are probably doing that too. Are you turning them all into little homicidal maniacs, with, we dunno, welfare fraud? OF COURSE YOU ARE, DON’T BE RIDICULOSE! But Pat Robertson has one more way you are ruining your kids, and you probably hadn’t even considered it: your kid is deaf because you don’t pray good enough. For real, lady, why do you go and make your kids deaf like that? Responding to a question from a mother who asked why her hearing impaired son hasn’t been healed despite her prayers, Robertson said that her son may be hindered by a “spirit of deafness.” “I have dealt with people who are deaf and you rebuke the spirit of deafness and they get healed,” Robertson said. “I don’t know what you’re doing wrong.” “Why don’t you try that and if it doesn’t work, try something else,” he said. That is some pretty perfect advice: if rebuking the spirit of deafness doesn’t make your deaf kid undeaf, “try something else.” What are some other things these moms who made their kids deaf could try? Read more on Pat Robertson Can’t Believe This Terrible Mother Can’t Even Heal Son’s Deafness Through Prayer…
  the princess died

Man-Hating Ball-Buster Sonia Sotomayor Teams With Sesame Street To Indoctrinate Your Princess

You may go elsewhere to read about Elmo maybe raping your children, because Sonia Sotomayor raping traditional gender roles is the only Sesame Street story your Wonkette will be covering this fine Veterans Day. So let’s get right to it: why does known feminazi and United States Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor want to indoctrinate your semiprecious female children into believing they should go to law school, where they will doubtless become godless spokessluts for Big Pill? Read more on Man-Hating Ball-Buster Sonia Sotomayor Teams With Sesame Street To Indoctrinate Your Princess…
  public radio schoolmarms

NPR Now Eight Millionth Outlet To Shake Stern Finger In Mitt Romney’s Lying Face

Oh how precious, NPR thinks that Mitt Romney will stop running around lying to everyone’s face about welfare reform if only he is presented with the “facts.” But like most “severe conservatives,” Romney knows you can use facts to prove anything that’s even REMOTELY true — and even things that aren’t! Read more on NPR Now Eight Millionth Outlet To Shake Stern Finger In Mitt Romney’s Lying Face…
  choosy moms choose tiffs

‘Moms’ Newest Battalion In War On Moms

Oh noez! The moms did not get the memo that it is that dastardly Barack Obama who is #WARRING them, because a Democrat said something catty once! Either that, or all moms just hate all other moms and cannot wait to WAR on them too, because players gotta play, cats gotta be bitchez. (Right, Richard Grenell?) In any event, new polling shows that Hairbot 5000 is losing moms just as badly as he is losing all other ladies, even though the gender gap is a myth. Tell us more, PPP: Read more on ‘Moms’ Newest Battalion In War On Moms…
  flotus files

Michelle Obama Is Pregnant (According To Twitter)

Between conquering Spain, vanquishing obesity and dancing around India, our beloved FLOTUS had some good times in 2010. What will 2011 bring for our First Lady, we wonder? A workout DVD, co-starring Bo the Fitness Dog? Girl Scouts, led by Jamie Lee Curtis, going door to door to sell easy-to-digest yogurt? More likely, we can expect the same brand of stupidity that last year had to offer, like “Cool Mom” Sarah Palin helping kids stay fat, for Freedom, and Michelle Obama getting pregnant, by Twitter. Read more on Michelle Obama Is Pregnant (According To Twitter)…
  tenth-wave feminism or something

Conservative Women Lock Themselves In a Cupboard, Will Come Out When There Is a Normal, White President

Mama Grizzlies, Wal-Mart Moms and probably the Daughters of the Confederacy have come together, as white ladies, and formed their own World of Warcraft guild, “The Kitchen Cabinet” — because women who are worried about Barack Obama’s socialism but who are also stay-at-home-in-the-cabinet moms deserve a voice, too, even if it is a very faint voice because it is coming from a cupboard. Barney Frank refuses to argue with A Dining Room Table, but maybe he is willing to talk to The Kitchen Cabinet? Read more on Conservative Women Lock Themselves In a Cupboard, Will Come Out When There Is a Normal, White President…
  rumors on the internets

Only A Mexican Jackie Robinson Could Free Baseball From Arizona’s Hate

Sarah Palin has inspired a generation of stay-at-home-mommies to strip their “mama bear” suits (their “fursonas,” if you will) and run for political office. [Matt Yglesias] Ayn Rand is so popular now, someone even made a straight-to-YouTube movie about her and who knows what’s next, maybe a Hulu minseries? [Hit & Run] Read more on Only A Mexican Jackie Robinson Could Free Baseball From Arizona’s Hate…
  food/booze news!

Worldy Fun, Moms and Sweet Deals — Take That, Recession!

World Cocktail Week: In this city you don’t need an excuse to drink … ever, really. But for those who like to have a reason to get inebriated (helps you fall asleep? totally understandable), it’s World Cocktail Week. According to the Museum of the American Cocktail (note to self: must go there), the Week was established to “promote a better understanding, appreciation, and respect for the cocktail and its history.” If you’re eager to learn what exactly it means to “respect a cocktail,” Proof, Bar Pilar, Sonoma, Sova, and Gibson are all offering specialty cocktails as part of the celebration. Read more on Worldy Fun, Moms and Sweet Deals — Take That, Recession!…
 

Congressional Moms Destroying Both Nation, Own Families

Did you know that there are ten Congresswomen with little kids?? It’s true! Ten ladies strutting around voting for shit when they should be at home raising their poor children! Just look at the list of shame: The 10 congresswomen with children under 13: Sens. Amy Klobuchar (D-Minn.), Mary Landrieu (D-La.), Blanche Lincoln (D-Ark.), Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-Tex.) and Reps. Kathy Castor (D-Fla.), Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.), Deborah Pryce (R-Ohio), Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-Fla.), Heather Wilson (R-N.M.), Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-Wash.) The Post tells us all about them today, from how Debbie Wasserman Shultz ignored her deathly ill 8-year-old to gallavant to New York for a fundraiser to how Heather Wilson hates Nancy Pelosi for making her work as much as a real working mother. And their lousy spoiled kids are interrupting Senate business: Read more on Congressional Moms Destroying Both Nation, Own Families…