Tag: moms

She thought her question was maybe "too motherly."

Washington Republican Asks Teens How Much Dick They’re Getting, Totally Normal

Washington state Rep. Mary Dye sounds just like our mommy, and your mommy, and all of U.S. America's mommy. She makes apple pie and gives good advice and leans in real close and says things like, "HEY CHAMP. GETTIN'...
Christie smash

Chris Christie Throws New Jersey Lady-Pigs Under 2016 Campaign Bus

Chris Christie is a master of pre-presidential innovation. Having spent the 2014 midterm season hitting key states to campaign for Republican candidates, Christie has moved on to a bold new tactic: inviting Iowans to decide which laws are best for...

PepsiCo’s Lady President Has A Mom, And She Is A Dick

PepsiCo's president is some dumb lady, Indra Nooyi we guess, and she was pretty excited when she got some dumb important job, instead of knowing where her real priorities should lie. ("Family." "It's all about family." Which is in...

Heartwarming Viral Video Presents Motherhood As CIA Torture. Yay Moms.

Have you seen that ADORABLE ad, about how moms are unpaid slaves and what kind of idiot would take a job as one? Here, watch all 14 hours because apparently Ghost Andy Warhol is making greeting card viral videos...

Pat Robertson Can’t Believe This Terrible Mother Can’t Even Heal Son’s Deafness Through Prayer

Hey ladies, how are you screwing up your children today? Are you smothering them? You are probably smothering them. Are you neglecting them, with your whoring at your "job"? You are probably doing that too. Are you turning them...

Man-Hating Ball-Buster Sonia Sotomayor Teams With Sesame Street To Indoctrinate Your Princess

You may go elsewhere to read about Elmo maybe raping your children, because Sonia Sotomayor raping traditional gender roles is the only Sesame Street story your Wonkette will be covering this fine Veterans Day. So let's get right to...

NPR Now Eight Millionth Outlet To Shake Stern Finger In Mitt Romney’s Lying Face

Oh how precious, NPR thinks that Mitt Romney will stop running around lying to everyone’s face about welfare reform if only he is presented with the “facts.” But like most “severe conservatives,” Romney knows you can use facts to...

‘Moms’ Newest Battalion In War On Moms

Oh noez! The moms did not get the memo that it is that dastardly Barack Obama who is #WARRING them, because a Democrat said something catty once! Either that, or all moms just hate all other moms and cannot...

Michelle Obama Is Pregnant (According To Twitter)

Between conquering Spain, vanquishing obesity and dancing around India, our beloved FLOTUS had some good times in 2010. What will 2011 bring for our First Lady, we wonder? A workout DVD, co-starring Bo the Fitness Dog? Girl Scouts, led...

Conservative Women Lock Themselves In a Cupboard, Will Come Out When There Is a Normal, White President

Mama Grizzlies, Wal-Mart Moms and probably the Daughters of the Confederacy have come together, as white ladies, and formed their own World of Warcraft guild, "The Kitchen Cabinet" -- because women who are worried about Barack Obama's socialism but...

Only A Mexican Jackie Robinson Could Free Baseball From Arizona’s Hate

Sarah Palin has inspired a generation of stay-at-home-mommies to strip their "mama bear" suits (their "fursonas," if you will) and run for political office. Ayn Rand is so popular now, someone even made a straight-to-YouTube movie about her and...

Worldy Fun, Moms and Sweet Deals — Take That, Recession!

World Cocktail Week: In this city you don’t need an excuse to drink ... ever, really. But for those who like to have a reason to get inebriated (helps you fall asleep? totally understandable), it’s World Cocktail Week. According...