Robert Gibbs made a very special announcement today about the communist plantation, Cuba! You can now travel and send gifts and clothes there — if you’re a Cuban-American with family on the island, that is. (Although the liberal New York Times writes that there maybe be more easing on the way, which Obama may announce during his trip this week to Trinidad and Tobago, which is very symbolically near Cuba.) MORE »

In early March, a gal named Rosanna Pulido won the Republican primary for the upcoming special congressional election in Illinois’ District 5, Rahm Emanuel’s former kingdom. She will lose. But not before making the funnies! She was the founder of the Illinois chapter of the Minutemen, because she *hates* the Mexicans. Once in a CNN interview she described John McCain as “just another politician that acts as if he was elected to represent the Mexican government.” Well maybe he was! AND YET, her most delightful comments came under the name “chicagolady” on the Free Republic website, where she wrote hilarious racist blather for five years until being recently outed. MORE »

Looks like the illegal Mexican “help” have gone a BRIDGE TOO FAR this time… [YouTube]

The technological marvel that is “Twitter” allows Americans the opportunity to watch wingnut entertainers actually lose their shit in real time, on the Internet. Here, neanderthal poop-sack Sean Hannity lets us know about the New World Order, in which the Black Muslim President (Nancy Pelosi) will somehow make right-wing bloggers get drivers’ licenses, in order to type ALL CAPS freakouts about the Islamo-Fascists in the White House. Illegal Mexicans/Dirty Bombers, however, will still be allowed full access to both America and its white virgins. [Twitter]

HE MUST SACRIFICE THE MEXICAN AS PUNISHMENT.

…HE MUST ALSO EAT THE MEXICAN. [YouTube, AP]

For many Mexicans today is a day to celebrate what they call “Cinco de Mayo,” which is Mexican for “Huzzah.” And that is precisely how “Mexico John” is spending his time today, celebrating that is, sipping on frozen margaritas and eating liberal spare ribs at his terrorist shack in Sedona. Oh, what’s that? He’s also launching a Mexican version of his web site, so that his family can finally read about him. [McCain Espanol]

Are you feeling extra hippieish today, hippies? Maybe a little more communal, communists? That’s because it’s May Day, the main drunken pagan sex holiday of the first week of May. In fact, today used to be America’s Labor Day, until right-wing bloggers of the Soviet era found out it was actually a commie holiday built around the commie traditions of a) abortion and b) colorful paper streamers. And then the evil “May Day” was patriotically converted into “Loyalty Day” … but did anybody tell the Mexicans? MORE »

Panamanian-born immigrant John “Juan” McCain wants to be president of El Norte, the Estados Unidos de América , but of course he is not from our patriotic country. Luckily, he is a global elitist with many powerful allies in our Senate, so yesterday all the senators got together and agreed that McCain is a “natural born citizen” and can be our oldest president once Hillary destroys Obama and the Democrats forever. [AFP]

First they came for our jobs. Then they came for our jobs again. They came for our jobs several times after this. But now the Mexicans are coming for our White House BlackBerries. At a meeting of Canadian, Mexican and U.S. officials this week, a Mexican aide “pocketed” several BlackBerries belonging to the U.S. delegation. Two questions: (1) How did this aide illegally get into the country in the first place? (2) Why didn’t we elect Mitt Romney to stop this illegal behavior? MORE »

Priggish Acadian fur-trader James Carville appeared on Larry King Live last night with his mortal enemy, fat Mexican ex-presidential candidate Bill Richardson, to Assess the Race. Carville had famously called Richardson “Judas Iscariot” after the latter endorsed Barack Obama, because Bill Clinton gave Richardson two or three of his 80,000 stupid jobs in the 1990s and now he won’t even support the damn wife’s campaign. The two continued fighting each other last night, most notably when Carville makes fun of Richardson’s tropical beach vacation. Video after the jump. MORE »

Everyone’s favorite racist presidential candidate from Colorado, Rep. Tom Tancredo, is responding to the Pope’s Tour d’America by… well how is he responding? Let’s do the math: Tom Tancredo’s only issue is illegal Mexicans; illegal Mexicans are Catholic; Catholics perform Pope’s bidding… The Pope’s bidding is telling the Mexicans to enter the United States. Tom Tancredo hates the Pope! [Denver Post]