March 10, 2014
Hey South Carolina Messican restaurant Taco Cid, what’s got staffers in heelarious uniforms featuring Messicans getting trapped in boxes like animals by aid of a taco lure, are you sorry that everyone in the country except other racists thinks you are balls-out racist? Oh, you’re not? That is so weird, we thought you would say […]
Oh, man. We were already aware that Egg Romney simply does not care for backtalk from The Help, and that Miffed Romney may not be great under pressure (or ever?). And Miffed Romney hasn’t had a good day we can remember since his Mr. Bean-level disastrous trip to Europe, which spawned the eternal, plaintive question […]
No beheadings again this time! We are beginning to think Vice frontloaded their seven-part series!
Mitt Romney saw some Mexicans yesterday, at a Univision forum where he said “Illegal aliens” and all of Twitter got judgmental, as if saying “undocumented immigrants” was going to win Mitt points with his base, who are currently wondering if their hair isn’t going to need washing or their showers grouting come Election Day.
Aw, look at this nice picture of Mark Harris and his wife, who had a nice time in Florida until they went to the Epcot Center at Disneyworld and were shocked, shocked, to find a Mexican employee working at the American pavilion, which “showcases different cultures in the United States.”
It is hard to be Mitt Romney trying to decide what he wants people to think he believes about immigration. He has to strike just the right note: not alienating Latino voters while being totally and constantly bug-eyed, Jan Brewer-style racist for the GOP base. The most important part of this three-legged stool, though? Being […]
Republicans are mad at Mexican lover Barack Obama because he wants to temporarily not destroy the lives of brown people who have lived in America pretty much their whole life by renditioning them to a country they have never lived in so they can starve in a lonely wasteland of fear. Go get em GOP! […]
Perhaps you remember that heady last week of the pre-Tea Party Congress, when Harry Reid pushed about 57 major pieces of legislation through the Senate. (Nancy Pelosi had already passed them all through the House in about the first day and a half, and still had time for a mani-pedi.) But the one major piece […]
Looks like we missed a fiesta grande outside the Supreme Court yesterday, where everyone gathered to gaze in awe at Antonin Scalia as he called your abuelita a bandita. Most of those gathered, according to our spies on Twitter, were just huge Mexicans being a bunch of gangsters whenever they weren’t busy napping under sombreros […]
What was that question from the dumb Republican debates, about Mexicans… oh yes: How do you “turn off the magnet” that brings all those Mexitrons to the United States? Well, it appears we have our answer: make the United States really shitty. The Pew Hispanic Center has released a new report that shows “the net […]
Let’s put politics aside for a minute and enjoy the beginning of America’s greatest annual springtime intercollegiate athletic competition, March Madness. Things got off to a thrilling start today: “During their school’s NCAA Tournament game against Kansas State University today, members of the Southern Mississippi University band chanted, ‘Where’s your green card?’ at a Puerto […]
Here is the hot American president’s day news for those of you who didn’t spend the weekend searching for “gay wingnut arizona sheriff tries to deport gay mexican lover” on Ask Jeeves: Beloved right-wing anti-Mexican Arizona sheriff Paul Babeu has been caught trying to deport his homosexual Mexican lover, because Paul Babeu is a homosexual […]
In a page right out of Newt Gingrich’s alternate-history science-fiction wingnut-polygamy utopian epic Candyland Space Land, the school district in Tucson has completely banned Mexican-American studies, seized all the textbooks and even wall posters from the classrooms, and punished the students who protested by sentencing them to janitorial duty. The self-hating Latina lady who oversees […]
America’s second-most favorite whackadoodle ex-governor Jesse Ventura (whose crazy gave Minnesota such a hangover it then elected Tim Pawlenty) managed to gather enough bored reporters together to formally announce that he tragically lost his important lawsuit trying to get the government to quit letting TSA agents touch his nuts all the time. In revenge, he […]
The serious proposals for fixing “the housing crisis” in this country have so far amounted to a) Alan Greenspan suggesting the federal government burn down the millions of vacant foreclosures across America and b) an actual government program that allowed Goldman Sachs to buy foreclosures in bulk for pennies on the dollar and then rent […]