Wonkette
Posts Tagged “Metro Section”
metro section
Moron Protesters And Mango Blendinis
- "Seriously? You're aiming to squeak into the playoffs and you want me to commit a non-refundable up-front purchase of seats for all four rounds?" [Metroblogging DC]
- "Winard Harper is a local boy done good, and it's always a pleasure to see musicians come back to perform to a hometown crowd. The 46-year-old drummer will be doing just that as he leads his wonderful sextet through two sets tomorrow night at the Kennedy Center." [DCist]
metro section
Send Lawyers, Guns & Money
- "At stake is much more than the District's gun laws. While the city's restrictions on the ownership of handguns is the example that provoked the lawsuit that pushed the issue through the American legal system, the Supreme Court will focus its sights on a larger question — does the U.S. Constitution guarantee a collective or individual right to own a gun?" [DCist]
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Rounding Third He Was Headed For Home
- "Every March I almost keel over in anticipation for the start of the new baseball season. This year is of course especially important for my fellow DC residents. The new Nationals Park opens in only a few weeks. And, sure, the parking situation still hasn't been figured out and the team will probably be pretty terrible, but, come on!" [why.i.hate.dc]
metro section
Going Back To Houston, Do The Hot Dog Dance
- "We returned to Columbia Heights and witnessed a mass congregation of firetrucks and pedestrians lurking on the sidewalk as a major blaze took hold of an apartment building on Mt. Pleasant St. We were able to get close to the blaze, scale a building and capture some moments as DC's finest attempted to quell a wild fire." [Brightest Young Things]
- "Oh yes indeed, I asked for hot dog controversy, and WaPo has tracked it down for me. The guys who sell the junk food to the street vendors are outraged — appalled, even! — that the city might grant some vendor licenses to people who wouldn't buy their Utz potato chips and crappy hot dogs." [Metroblogging DC]
metro section
I Love You-ou, This Old Heart ...
- "One group of local guys took their 'rock band,' breadpig, out of the living room and into Chinatown. They set up their instruments (which, when not connected to a gaming system, don't actually emit any sound) and "played" for a building crowd. They even recruited a lead singer from the bystanders, who specialized in Isely Brothers lyrics." [DCist]
- "Isn't that the guy on the dollar bill? What's-his-name?" [Eavesdrop DC]
metro section
"The pretty people are descending upon our city. A couple big movie shoots are in town, so if you're into that sort of thing, now's your chance for an Affleck or LaBeouf sighting." [DCist]"The hotel has hosted an inauguration ball every year since Calvin Coolidge's presidency and is said to be the place where FDR penned his famous "We have nothing to fear but fear itself" inaugural address. The Mayflower is also where I once 'illegally' took a piss." [Arjewtino]
More »
Just Like Calvin Coolidge's Blues
metro section
Thousand Dollar Wedding
- "Everyone's favorite falafel joint in Adams Morgan has always screamed European. Obviously with the name, Amsterdam Falafelshop, the Dutch mayo, and pictures of the Netherlands pasted all over. But now they're going European in one more way." [DCist]
- "I really cannot tell you how much I hate cabbies right now. You are just awful people — cheating passengers and being rude. Go to hell, all of you." [Diary of a Mad DC Cabbie]
- "I've never been to a Target before. Will it make things better or make things worse? It'll make things better for the city and for Columbia Heights property owners. Not so much for tenants. But, what about me? A young adult living in AU Park .... Is Target any better or cheaper than making separate visits to Best Buy and Safeway?" [why.i.hate.dc]
- "Where can I get bills higher than $100?" [Eavesdrop DC]
metro section
Viajo Sin Rumbo Fijo En Mis Botas Viejas
- "Former Prince George's County homeland security official Keith A. Washington, jailed awaiting sentencing for fatally shooting a furniture deliveryman and wounding another, was found last week with a handcuff key and had a 'clear intention of escaping', according to court papers filed by prosecutors." [WP]
- "There are a lot of options for cheap bus rides to New York, so what makes BoltBus different? It operates on the EasyJet principle, where tickets start out dirt cheap and get more expensive as the bus gets fuller." [DCist]
- "Connecticut Avenue around mid-day. Various Greenpeace fanatics around. One is professing her love of the environment on some yuppie. Another spots her next target: A tall man, long coat, just lit a cigarette." [Eavesdrop DC]
- "You already eat out most nights. Admit it. Go on. Now, this Thursday, you get to know that a portion of that price you're paying for not dirtying up your dishes is going for a good cause. Yes, kids, it is time for the annual 'Dining Out for Life' Night, all of which is to benefit 'Food and Friends'." [Brightest Young Things]
- "I'm not going to lie. I am no stranger to drinking beers and listening to a Mariachi band. I think it is one of life's great pleasures. I just never thought I'd be drinking beers and listening to a Mariachi band in a Target ...." [Prince of Petworth]
metro section
Take Him To A Whorehouse
- "I buy the Post every weekday. I spend $120 a year on the Post. I can't do it anymore .... I will not support an organization that promotes such outdated and misogynistic bullshit." [why.i.hate.dc]
- "You're not going to like the sound of this: the final set of rules governing the switch from the zone system to time and distance taxi meters were published in the in the D.C. Register on Friday, and the additional passenger fee was added back in." [DCist]
- "[T]the last time I checked we don't live in a communist society where the independent private business is forced to subsidize part of the driving public." [Diary of a Mad DC Cabbie]
- "There's just one problem with this idea; right now, Mark Warner is virtually guaranteed to be the next Senator from Virginia and Democrats are hungry to pick this seat up." [Below the Beltway]
- "My nephew is going to be in town for a few days in April. He is 15. Do you know of any places to hear jazz (and maybe eat) where he can get in?" [DC Concierge]
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And Your Deck Of Cards Missing The Jack And The Ace
- "Parents who testified last night were mostly critical of the closures, using language like, 'they want to take away education' and comparing the closures to 'taking a seed out of the ground that's already been planted'." [DCist]
- "Slot machines and blackjack are both excellent ways to raise a lot of money while not fleecing your citizenry." [why.i.hate.dc]
- "The plan will prevent those who don't live in the neighborhood of the stadium from parking legally on nearby streets long enough to attend a game." [WP]
- "You should never get out of the cab but instead warn the driver that you will call the police and demand that the driver shows you his taxi license." [Diary of a Mad DC Cabbie]
metro section
Embassy Row, The Fumes They Lay Low
- “The statues grimace, scream, tear at their hair and skin. Several have collapsed in agony. Others cry and rage at the heavens.” [WP]
- “The program, which starts Monday, directs county police officers to check the citizenship status of people suspected of breaking the law, no matter how minor the crime. The county also will start to deny some services to illegal immigrants.” [Below the Beltway]
- “Hmmm… I’ll take a ballsmatic one” [Eavesdrop DC]
- “Though Maryland doesn’t ban drivers from talking on phones while driving, sponsors said texting is even more dangerous and should be banned.” [WTOP]
- “I’ll admit it. I’m a sucker for Pizza Hut’s stuffed crust pizza. You know, the one that packs as much cheese as possible into every crevice of the pizza pie? Wait — are there crevices on a pizza?” [Metroblogging DC]
metro section
Nobody's Crying 'Cause There's No One To Score For
- “A jury yesterday rejected a former Prince George’s County homeland security official’s claim that he acted in self-defense when he opened fire on two unarmed furniture deliverymen.” [WP]
- “Starbucks will be closing its 7,100 stores nationwide tonight from 5:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. in order to re-train all of its employees simultaneously on … how to make coffee.” [DCist]
- “If you thought you were whispering some conversation with a friend while riding in his cab and you think he is not listening, good luck! The chances are he probably heard all your kinky stories with his surveillance gear.” [Diary of a Mad DC Cabbie]
- “Had I just seen what I thought I saw? Did this dude just eat my cookie?” [Arjewtino]
- “I know there is something deeply offensive about these commercials (other than the surplus of man titties). But I can’t quite my finger on it. It’s such a bombardment of crazy.” [why.i.hate.dc]
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And All Us Mortals Struggle So
- “We had a very nice place in Pennsylvania for many years before we relocated down here. However, the cost differential between Western PA and the MD/VA/DC area was quite a staggering shock to my own financial sensibilities.” [Metroblogging DC]
- “About 50 demonstrators participated in the emotional rally Saturday morning. No protesters were arrested. Protester Marco Del Fuego says the group promotes a white supremacist agenda, like the Nazis.” [Examiner]
- “Fifty medical workers — doctors, nurses, therapists and administrators among them — sat in a room at Walter Reed Army Medical Center gazing at a slide of Donald Duck on a screen.” [WP]
- “So Schools Chancellor Michelle Rhee, in order to protect students from their counselors’ ineptitude, says no more foreign talk until you’re a sophomore.” [why.i.hate.dc]
- “When I fell back down to the ground, I rubbed my eyes and took a closer look again. At this point the hawk is staring at me and I could easily see from its eyes that it was telling me to back the
fuck up.” [Prince of Petworth]
metro section
Disconnect These Cables, Overturn These Tables
- “The latest Rasmussen Reports telephone survey of Virginia voters found Democrat Mark Warner still holding a significant lead over Republican Jim Gilmore in the race for the U.S. Senate.” [Below the Beltway]
- “The sign is formed by curling your forefinger down and tucking it into the fold of your skin between that finger and your thumb.” [Arjewtino]
- “The use of surveillance cameras by D.C. police has lowered violence in some areas of the city and helped to identify suspects and solve crimes, police say in a report released this week.” [WP]
- “Okay, now that we’ve all had time to get past the thought of some skeevy person randomly typing in letters and numbers in hopes of seeing god-knows-what in people’s private photo collections ….” [Metroblogging DC]
metro section
Ain't Got No Soul, No No No No
- “Washington Monument! Lots and lots of government! A donkey and an elephant! The White House with the President!” [DCist]
- “Perhaps I should have looked a little deeper. Sure, the walk featured nothing but houses and a military retirement community. But one of the houses was special. One of the houses was not just a house, but a home. A home to the greatest thief in the history of DC.” [why.i.hate.dc]
- “My representation of the total snow output resulting from this snow advisory.” [Metroblogging DC]
- “Let’s pretend you are a member of the Prince William County Board of Supervisors. Tax revenues are down, you’ve got a budget shortfall coming, and real estate values have plummeted. So what do you do?” [Below the Beltway]
- “Just kill her, if you kill her that means you don’t have a soul.” [Eavesdrop DC]