For years now, various people have been begging to take photographs of Arizona’s State Flower MEGHAN McCAIN posing in her girdle. Well now there’s encouraging news for horticulture enthusiasts around the globe! Meghan says she’d totally do it, except poor PAPA JOHN would probably crash another plane into VIETNAM, if he ever found out. MORE »

Our dear friend ERIC KLEEFELD from Talking Points Memo recently wrote a provocative comic-book review, complete with professional-grade scans! Well guess what Eric? SOMEONE ELSE received a complimentary copy of False Witness: The Michele Bachmann Story, and you’re not the only one who got a fancy Epson scanner for Yom Kippur from JOSH MARSHALL …. MORE »

Renaissance Man PAUL WOLFOWITZ was spotted with a hot date last Friday at the Studio Theater. Sources say they overheard Wolfowitz telling his female friend what a marvelous time he was having and how it reminded him of the time he saw Moonstruck with SUHARTO while serving as Ambassador to Indonesia and how after the movie they got sushi together and talked about boy stuff …. MORE »

YOURS TRULY was enjoying a noontime visit to DC’s famous HOLOCAUST MUSEUM with a friend today, only to leave at 12:40 to quench the thirst with a smoothie from TANGYSWEET — just moments before a WHITE SUPREMACIST ANTI-SEMITE started a gun battle with museum security guards! And now a hero security guard has died, protecting museum-goers from a MARYLAND MONSTER. Why didn’t the NAZI die? Where’s the justice? MORE »

Meet our new Washington Society Gossip, Intern Riley! DC will sparkle like never before!

Nutty congresslady VIRGINIA FOXX (R-NC) says Matthew Shepard’s murder was a “hoax,” and then she said “tar baby” on the House floor, and now her staff is broadcasting its drunken office parties “on taxpayer time.” Thanks for the laughs, Virginia …. MORE »

• Heard on the Hill: Obama camp is a hotbed of illegal gaming… Rappers and politicos, sitting side by side… Rep. Paul Broun wants to make sure you pledge correctly. [Roll Call]
• Reliable Source: Jenna’s got the dress all picked out… “Do I Hear a Blood Curdling Scream?”… Straight from the ass’s mouth. [WP]
• Yeas and Nays: Tax Day makes conservatives cry… Rep. Ted Poe reads from the family newsletter on the House floor. [Examiner]
• In the Know: Rep. Bono Mack isn’t a fan of Blow… The Pope’s not just coming to D.C. — he’s getting his hair cut, too!… Sen. Ken Salazar and his dog Sen. Mike Enzi are friends till the end. [The Hill]
• Shenanigans: Arena Stage’s production of Play On has got some Capitol talent. [Politico]
• And our beloved Intern Elise is leaving us, for New York City and the glamorous world of Daytime Teevee. Read her sad good-bye, after the jump!

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• Heard on the Hill: The Media Research Center leans left with its beverages… Spring cleaning at the Senate is just in time for Martha Stewart… Hipsters like Steve Novick. [Roll Call]
• Reliable Source: Peggy Cafrittz doesn’t have money troubles, just accountant troubles. [WP]
• Shenanigans: David Vitter spared one more humiliation… The Newseum’s doors are finally open. [Politico]
• The Sleuth: How can Hillary answer that 3 AM call when she’s out by 11? [WP]
• Washington Whispers: Romney and Huckabee duke it out for VP… John Gibson makes presidents’ speeches memorable… Wolf Blitzer gives big support to the Nats… Good news for you, bad news for bees… Green fashion hits the campaign trail. [USN&WR]

• Yeas and Nays: Cafe Milano caters for the pope…Get some “tea and subprime sympathy” with Alan Greenspan. [Examiner]
• Shenanigans: The Media Research Center’s 20th Anniversary Gala featured a moment of kindness…Joe Lieberman’s job appears safe for now…Ariana Huffington explains her GOP defection. [Politico]
• The Sleuth: Trent Lott is still trying to figure this whole lobbyist thing out. [WP]
• Rush & Molloy: Ted Turner meant what he said about global warming leading to cannibalism. [NYDN]

• Heard on the Hill: David Vitter may finally catch a break…Spreading doubt about The Real McCain…So far, Stuff Hill People Like are business cards, interns, The West Wing, Gchat, recess, their parents’ money, and Blackberries. [Roll Call]
• Reliable Source: Despite what the brochure says, Elizabeth Taylor never lived at the Watergate…Bob Weir of The Grateful Dead jams for democracy…The Pope is pretty booked up. [WP]
• Yeas and Nays: Not even Angelina Jolie can come up with an exit strategy…Library of Congress honors announced…Ladies, Ron Jeremy is in town…Karl Rove and Howell Raines commiserate over how much people hate them. [Examiner]
• Shenanigans: Chris Matthews speaks to NYT Mag. [Politico]
• The Sleuth: Grover Norquist wants Condi for Veep. [WP]
• Rush & Molloy: Beware of Roger Stone. [NYDN]
  

• Heard on the Hill: Rep. Joe Wilson gets grungy… Thursday’s Senate session to be scheduled around the Pope… Are you ready for the House’s greatest hits?… Barack Obama to prove himself through basketball. [Roll Call]
• Reliable Source: Chelsea vs. Jenna. [WP]
• Yeas and Nays: Dan Marino is staying out of politics… Barack Obama has got it in the shopping bag. [Examiner]
• Shenanigans: David Vitter to testify in D.C. Madam trial. [Politico]
• The Sleuth: The draft Condi movement heats up. [WP]
• Rush & Molloy: The Katharine Graham biopic brings out the stars, shuts out the relatives. [NYDN]
• Washington Whispers: Nixon, FDR, Johnson and JFK are all getting renovated… Dick Cheney only gets 180 days of safety… John Boehner wants Rep. Rob Portman to be McCain’s second in command. [USN&WR]

• Reliable Source: Henry Hager and Jenna Bush are (maybe) moving to Baltimore…Daoud Hari gets a peek at Bill Richardson’s goatee…Stephen Colbert is a Treasure of American History. [WP]
• Yeas and Nays: President Bush gets bored and leaves his last NATO summit…Elizabeth Edwards is going to Harvard…Muammar Gaddafi helps John Boehner protect his baby blues. [Examiner]
• Shenanigans: Catch a game with John McCain’s staff for a fair $2,300…It must be awards season. [Politico]