Doug Hoffman, the wingnut geek who forced the Republican out of New York’s 23rd congressional district special election but then lost that election to the Democrat and then proceeded to concede and later unconcede, finally admitted defeat (again) today, which caused the spontaneous pregnancy of Sarah Palin (again) and the immediate sale of 1 gazillion copies of Palin’s book, I’m Awesome. MORE »

Louisiana sex creep David “Diaperman” Vitter is known for one thing, and one thing only: Hiring hookers and then making those hookers put adult diapers on him, so he can poop in the diapers, for sex kicks. He has been caught employing prostitutes at least twice, in New Orleans and in Washington DC — his number found in the client phone records of the since-suicided “DC Madam,” in the latter case. He is a gross scumbag and a human joke, and guess where serious Congressional Journalistic Institution Roll Call found him fondling ladies’ lingerie and looking “a bit lost,” because he was about to spurt/poop? MORE »

Twilight heart-throb and South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford loved his Argentine Firecracker soul-mate so much that he abandoned his wife, kids and that annoying job (Republican leader of a slave state) just to pile up frequent-flier miles and bang his mistress with romance. But now the mean twerps at the state’s “ethics panel” have examined Sanford’s behavior and charged him with 37 crimes, hooray! But the state attorney general won’t necessarily pursue this, because come on, does he look black? MORE »

What happens when enterprising Americans watch Fox News and use Twitter simultaneously? Constant hilarity, that is what, as you can see from this fun “info-graphic” on the Fox News, which explains how Sarah Palin’s supposedly strong 70% support from GOP idiots is still no match for Huckabee’s 63% support, or Romney’s 60%. What? [Twitter of "Keventhepang"]

Unfortunate Rep. Virginia Foxx, who throws words like “tarbaby” around in casual discourse, for some reason said this about the Democrats today: “Just as we were the people who passed the civil rights bills back in the ’60s without very much help from our colleagues across the aisle. They love to engage in revisionist history.” MORE »

• GOD BLESS POLITICO: While hilarious Palin spokeswoman Meg Stapleton’s “The world is literally her oyster” still probably remains the Political Line Of The Year, this one from today’s Politico is easily top five, or seven: “Few political observers or elected officials doubt that an energized GOP has a headwind at its back.” [TPM]

Blake Hall, National Committeeman of the Idaho Republican Party, is now down one (1) National Committeemanship of the Idaho Republican Party and nineteen (19) used condoms. See, ten different times—like, on ten different days—Hall flung his lurid semen-filled condoms on his ex-girlfriend’s lawn, whom he stalked and stalked and stalked for like half a year. Quoth the poor lady whose lawn was unwillingly re-purposed for the flourishing cum crop: “I was so tired of being victimized. It is unimaginable that a 56-year-old would be so deviant.” MORE »

Now now, liberals, you can no longer smugly declare in political arguments, “the Republicans don’t even have a health care plan,” because they do! John Boehner released the GOP alternative plan a few days ago, and the CBO scored it, to much fanfare. It is but a modest (Very Responsible Centrist) plan to save America from the Muslims. One of its central tenets — and the health care thing you’ve been hearing Republicans blab on about most, after they’ve exhausted tort reform — is to allow consumers to purchase health care plans across state lines. Doesn’t that sound nice, for competition and pricing? But what if… what if many of the health insurers then set up shop in the “state” of the Northern Marianas, where there is not a single law against anything? MORE »

Okay you guys, Michael Steele has been doing some Googling. No one panic. It’s just that, well, you’ve probably already heard about her, but… this Olympia Snowe lady? “I say, Welcome. Welcome. Each member of this party has a unique footprint. And it’s different from region to region. I can’t win in the Northeast with a candidate best suited for the South and vice-versa,” he said on teevee this morning, during which he disagreed with Tim Pawlenty’s criticism of Snowe’s liberal-ish proclivities. Oh but so anyway, because it is Michael Steele, his current M.O. is of course diametrically opposed to his public stance on this exact issue from ten months ago. MORE »

In what is otherwise a fairly straight article about the latest failed hijinks from one of our nation’s two esteemed political parties, a reporter for the Hartford Advocate either forgets to put a certain phrase in quotes, or is just WACKY. Here’s a link, for using one off-key phrase, out of nowhere, in some alt-weekly! [Hartford Advocate]

• Kathleen Sebelius is asking all card-carrying commies to send an e-greeting to our Dear Leader Barack Obama, in support of his Red Menace public option. Chuck Grassley correctly identified this atrocity as Maoist propaganda wrapped in bacon. And it smells delicious. [Hot Air]
• The data is clear: Americans would prefer to be anal-probed by UFOs, and not Michael Steele. [Matt Yglesias]
• What has happened to our America? Hm? Black people sit on their bums, and collect their Social Security. Honest businessmen aren’t allowed to give to charity, it’s illegal! And our youth — teenagers fuck on the first date. And, God help us, that’s just the way it is. [Townhall]
• Net Neutrality is the depth charge that will explode Freedom, which in this metaphor is represented by a U-Boat or something. [RedState]
• The RNC no longer pleases Michelle Malkin, sexually. [Michelle Malkin]