GOP

A new ad implies that South Carolina’s Democratic candidate for governor, Vincent Sheheen, advocates punching your girlfriend in the face. Allegedly, Sheheen is not just soft on crime, he actually sides with criminals, supporting your right to rape and pillage. It must be true: the Republican Governors Association told us so. Rachel Maddow, and everyone […]

Is it 2016 yet? Have we inaugurated Hillary Clinton already? CNN BREAKING NEWS: No, it is only 2014. Yet rumors persist about who is and is not running for President to replace Our Dreamy Guiding Star of Socialist Hippie Liberalism Barack HU-SANE Obama. It looks like we may have another contender, and she is a […]

Yesterday we told you all about one of Wisconsin’s finest specimens, Brown County Board Supervisor candidate Jason Wisneski. Let’s recap! He’s a smooth-talking convicted-of-animal-mistreatment kinda guy who was very very not happy when the press found out about the whole mistreat-y thing, so he decided to attack Democrat Dave Hansen — not his opponent, mind […]

So Kansas is really on track to be the Most Terrible State of 2014, which is a competition we just invented. This is the fifth time we’ve had to write a “what’s the matter with Kansas” post (find all past Kansas goodness/badness here) yet this year and frankly, Kansas, we are getting a little tired […]

TRIGGER WARNING: It appears that several states are following the law as laid out in the new farm bill to… wait for it… help poor people eat!!!!1!1! Oh, the humanity! Are you outraged? Are you clutching your pearls while your panties bunch themselves in a wad? We should have warned for earmuffs for all children, […]

Good job on this ad, Medical Cannabis Network! It is actually funny! Reader, watch it! If you can’t, here is the SPOILER: We join a swarthy fellow with an Orson Welles mustache who is trying to sell us some black market sushi, and being real shady about it, like “Yo. You want sushi? I got […]

Hey ladies. You know how the GOP is all wanting you to like them? And not just like them, but like them like them, because of how you are all slutty whoremonsters who vote for Democrats? Well, the Wisconsin State Assembly GOP Majority Leader is seeking to give ‘women’s outreach’ his personal touch. Unfortunately, he […]

Even though our Kenyan Dictator B. Barry Bamz was re-crowned only last year, it is already time to start thinking about the next Presidential election, which also means it is still time to stab ourselves in the eye with a spork everytime Chris Cillizza soils the pages of the Washington Post with the latest meaningless […]

Bad news for anyone who was looking forward to another stupid debt ceiling standoff: popular television personality and Speaker of the Whole House John Boehner says he will hold a House vote tomorrow to raise the borrowing limit of the United States, which he expects will pass only with a big assist from Democrats: House […]

So, y’all remember that vagina’d monologue from the lady who gave the official, not-in-Spanish GOP response to Dictator Obama’s State of the Union speechy thingy? Yeah, the one who seemed all sweet and stuff, until you listened to her words, which were fluff and boring, and apparently full of lies. Because when you are addressing […]

Gentlemen, did you wake up this morning with a little extra pep in your Mr. Peepers? We sure did, because WE FINALLY GOT OUR PRESIDENT BACK! It’s like that awesome hopey and changey guy from 2008 snuck back out and sucker-punched the GOP right in the nards with like a million awesome words at the […]

Oh ladies. If the GOP isn’t insulting your intellectual capacity, demanding you be submissive, or trying to keep your libido in check (because you are all raging fuckmonsters), then they are desperately wooing you for your votes. Their latest attempt to distract from their 1930-era policies is to scrounge around and find a GEN-YOU-INE lady […]

Ever since the GOP lost 183% of the non-penis vote in 2012, we have been pleasantly surprised at the abrupt turnaround of the Republican Party. Who would have imagined a pro-choice GOP that fights tooth and nail for equal pay for women! But for every two steps forward, there is the inevitable step backwards, this […]

Hey, remember that fat white guy who lost weight and now wants to put the ‘white’ back in White House? No, not the one what closes bridges because of petty political bickering — the other GOP white guy, the one who rocks out on gee-tar. Yeah, Mike Huckabee. He is back in the news because […]