Mark Sanford To Be Tried, Executed For 37 Crime-Sins Against South Carolina, Marriage, and America
Monday, November 23rd, 2009
Twilight heart-throb and South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford loved his Argentine Firecracker soul-mate so much that he abandoned his wife, kids and that annoying job (Republican leader of a slave state) just to pile up frequent-flier miles and bang his mistress with romance. But now the mean twerps at the state’s “ethics panel” have examined Sanford’s behavior and charged him with 37 crimes, hooray! But the state attorney general won’t necessarily pursue this, because come on, does he look black? MORE »












Blake Hall, National Committeeman of the Idaho Republican Party, is now down one (1) National Committeemanship of the Idaho Republican Party and nineteen (19) used condoms. See, ten different times—like, on ten different days—Hall flung his lurid semen-filled condoms on his ex-girlfriend’s lawn, whom he stalked and stalked and stalked for like half a year. Quoth the poor lady whose lawn was unwillingly re-purposed for the flourishing cum crop: “I was so tired of being victimized. It is unimaginable that a 56-year-old would be so deviant.”
Now now, liberals, you can no longer smugly declare in political arguments, “the Republicans don’t even have a health care plan,” because they do! John Boehner released the GOP alternative plan a few days ago, and the CBO scored it, to
Okay you guys, Michael Steele has been doing some Googling. No one panic. It’s just that, well, you’ve probably already heard about her, but… this Olympia Snowe lady? “I say, Welcome. Welcome. Each member of this party has a unique footprint. And it’s different from region to region. I can’t win in the Northeast with a candidate best suited for the South and vice-versa,” he said on teevee this morning, during which he disagreed with Tim Pawlenty’s criticism of Snowe’s liberal-ish proclivities. Oh but so anyway, because it is Michael Steele, his current M.O. is of course diametrically opposed to his public stance on this exact issue from ten months ago.
In what is otherwise a fairly straight article about the latest failed hijinks from one of our nation’s two esteemed political parties, a reporter for the Hartford Advocate either forgets to put a certain phrase in quotes, or is just WACKY. Here’s a link, for using one off-key phrase, out of nowhere, in some alt-weekly! [
Those two South Carolina county GOP chairs who got
Oh shit, yo! You know who simply did not care for Michael Steele’s