GOP

Wonketanians, we have failed you, and for that we are humbly sorry. How have we let you down? Because it has been three whole days since this shining diamond of dumb, GOP gubernatorial candidate Taylor Haynes, elbowed his way over the Wyoming horizon to open his mouth and let spew forth a veritable gusher of […]

Between the ongoing child immigrant crisis at the border  and the fact that all House of Representatives seats are up for grabs, our cup of derp really does runneth over so hard. There are the incoherently angry poor spellers. There is Breitbart’s House For The Endlessly Petulant mistaking a soccer jersey for an evil Muslim prayer […]

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. Republicans have a new plan to woo the lady voters, and it’s new! And a plan! And unlike all the other new plans they’ve been trying, this one is totally going to work. (Spoiler: It is not going to work.) As Democrats fired up the “war on […]

Have you heard there is a Katrina at the border, and that Katrina is a hurricane of little brown children, mostly unaccompanied by any adults, who have traveled thousands of miles to escape the violence in their Central American homes? Some people have been kind of spitty about it, with the screaming at the buses […]

We stayed up late last night just to make sure we could maximize our intake of sweet Tea Party tears over Chris McDaniel losing the GOP primary to incumbent Mississippi Senator Thad Cochran. McDaniel had proved to be a reliable source of ridiculous, but even with that we will not be sorry to see him […]

Let us tell you about how yr Wonkette accidentally made a monster years ago, and only now is that chicken coming home to roost. (Mixed metaphors, whatever, fuck off.) In 2010, we mock-endorsed some ridiculous wingnut nobody for a Georgia Congressional race, just because we could. Our endorsee, Jody Hice, ended up doing surprisingly well […]

Did you guys know it is hella tough to bring the funny when it comes to campaign finance scandals, because you have to explain coordination and superPACs and oh Christ we’re bored already. We’ll make an exception, though, for this bit of finance fuckery — possibly maybe criminal finance fuckery! — involving Scott Walker, because […]

So we guess the Idaho state GOP convention was held last weekend, and we are SO PISSED that Dok Zoom didn’t go there on a fact-finding mission, because the entire thing sounds like an amazeballs shitshow. Near as we can figure, nothing got done, and no one got elected, there may or may not actually […]

Have you guys heard about our new favorite — and by “favorite” we mean WHAT THE HELL, DUDE — state legislature candidate? Meet Scott Esk, a Republican running for office in Oklahoma. Scott would be just your run-of-the-mill semi-ginger who is hella mad about his receding hairline except for this one little standout fact: he’s […]

We all know that the Republican Party consists mainly of homophobic, xenophobic, racist-to-varying-degrees, warring-on-women assholes, right? This is FACT and SCIENCE, and other things that liberals accept and Republicans deny. But just how homophobic is the GOP? So much so that the organization that tries to get more LGBT acceptance in the Republican party, GOProud, […]

Are you ready for some déjà vu? The Obama Administration is looking to implement a policy that will lead to healthier Americans. And once again, the GOP is frothing and foaming and throwing a temper-tantrum because they fucking HATE healthy (post-embryotic) Americans! And the kicker: they might just shut down the government, take their toys, […]

Ladies, it’s all your fault. Hopefully you realize this by now, because all the evidence is clear, and there is literally nothing that cannot be blamed on you. Like how you will divorce your husband just because he is having penile-vaginal relations with another woman, when it’s obviously your fault he was cheating in the […]

Pat Robertson has had quite the week. After sounding the alarm about the apocalyptic asteroid event that could happen next week, or ever, Robertson advised a 700 Club caller that his wife probably withheld sex because of childhood sexual abuse, and that obviously, the caller should just divorce her. Given that surveys have shown that […]

In Our Great Nation’s short history, we have created many uniquely American traditions: Thanksgiving, Independence Day, Patriots’ Day, free refills on soda, and electing members of the Bush family to the White House. Jeb Bush, the Bush son who probably should have run for the office the first time around, because Jeb did not get […]

A new ad implies that South Carolina’s Democratic candidate for governor, Vincent Sheheen, advocates punching your girlfriend in the face. Allegedly, Sheheen is not just soft on crime, he actually sides with criminals, supporting your right to rape and pillage. It must be true: the Republican Governors Association told us so. Rachel Maddow, and everyone […]