Now now, liberals, you can no longer smugly declare in political arguments, “the Republicans don’t even have a health care plan,” because they do! John Boehner released the GOP alternative plan a few days ago, and the CBO scored it, to much fanfare. It is but a modest (Very Responsible Centrist) plan to save America from the Muslims. One of its central tenets — and the health care thing you’ve been hearing Republicans blab on about most, after they’ve exhausted tort reform — is to allow consumers to purchase health care plans across state lines. Doesn’t that sound nice, for competition and pricing? But what if… what if many of the health insurers then set up shop in the “state” of the Northern Marianas, where there is not a single law against anything? MORE »

Okay you guys, Michael Steele has been doing some Googling. No one panic. It’s just that, well, you’ve probably already heard about her, but… this Olympia Snowe lady? “I say, Welcome. Welcome. Each member of this party has a unique footprint. And it’s different from region to region. I can’t win in the Northeast with a candidate best suited for the South and vice-versa,” he said on teevee this morning, during which he disagreed with Tim Pawlenty’s criticism of Snowe’s liberal-ish proclivities. Oh but so anyway, because it is Michael Steele, his current M.O. is of course diametrically opposed to his public stance on this exact issue from ten months ago. MORE »

In what is otherwise a fairly straight article about the latest failed hijinks from one of our nation’s two esteemed political parties, a reporter for the Hartford Advocate either forgets to put a certain phrase in quotes, or is just WACKY. Here’s a link, for using one off-key phrase, out of nowhere, in some alt-weekly! [Hartford Advocate]

• Kathleen Sebelius is asking all card-carrying commies to send an e-greeting to our Dear Leader Barack Obama, in support of his Red Menace public option. Chuck Grassley correctly identified this atrocity as Maoist propaganda wrapped in bacon. And it smells delicious. [Hot Air]
• The data is clear: Americans would prefer to be anal-probed by UFOs, and not Michael Steele. [Matt Yglesias]
• What has happened to our America? Hm? Black people sit on their bums, and collect their Social Security. Honest businessmen aren’t allowed to give to charity, it’s illegal! And our youth — teenagers fuck on the first date. And, God help us, that’s just the way it is. [Townhall]
• Net Neutrality is the depth charge that will explode Freedom, which in this metaphor is represented by a U-Boat or something. [RedState]
• The RNC no longer pleases Michelle Malkin, sexually. [Michelle Malkin]

Those two South Carolina county GOP chairs who got BUSTED yesterday for calling Sen. Jim DeMint a cheap Jew — as a compliment however! — have now apologized to the Internet. James Ulmer and Edwin Merwin, who wrote in response to an editorial attacking Jim DeMint for his weak procurement of federal dollars that, “There is a saying that the Jews who are wealthy got that way not by watching dollars, but instead by taking care of the pennies and the dollars taking care of themselves,” now say that they did not mean any offense by using this line of logic that Adolf Hitler once heard and went insane over. MORE »

Oh shit, yo! You know who simply did not care for Michael Steele’s “seniors’ bill of rights”? Well, yes, of course: seniors. But also Republicans, who had to call a Secret Republican Meeting for purposes of going around the room, counter-clockwise, and everyone saying one thing they hate most about Michael Steele. The most popular answer: any time he involves himself in policy, in any way. Upon hearing this, Steele responded with his famed composure:  “And at one point, Steele, a Washington native, said that his upbringing in the ’streets’ made him a fighter and that he was determined to continue fighting and aggressively defending the party.” MORE »

In the secret quiet of labor Day Weekend, the White House fired black person Van Jones, who had some administration position related to “green jobs.” The White House confirmed that Jones was out “early Sunday,” which is right now. Why did this Van Jones get axed? Because wingnuts were angry about …. MORE »

Mark Sanford has admitted to a lot of sketchy behavior and pretty much constant lies about everything, and he is a weeping emo douche, but there’s one thing Mark Sanford wants you to know: HE DID NOT START THE RUMOR THAT HIS HATED RIVAL, LT. GOV. ANDRE BAUER, IS A BIG FAG. Somebody else must’ve done that. Still, “Andre Bauer” is such a gay name we don’t really need Mark Sanford to clue in the blogs, about that. [Palmetto Scoop]

You know what your Wonkette was doing one year ago, exactly? We were in St. Paul, watching the first of Sarah Palin’s national scandals unfold. So fun! Plus, there was a hurricane, to kill more poor and/or black people (it missed, which is how Obama got elected). And it was a year ago tonight that we unveiled the Sarah Palin Fail-o-Meter. Thank the Alaskan Anger Bear God she didn’t wind up as president. (And don’t forget the shitty little dog with an actual tiny boner for McCain!)

To the surprise of no one, Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison officially declared that she would be running for governor of Texas against Rick Perry, who could potentially serve FOURTEEN FRIGGING YEARS as head of that state. The race got off to a colorful unofficial start in late July when Internet sleuths discovered secret gay code words, such as “Rick Perry gay,” on the senator’s campaign site. MORE »

Disgusting wingnut diaper-fetishist hooker-user David Vitter says he is super excited about wingnuts yelling at him, at one of these Town Hall KKK Rallies. He’s even bringing extra diapers, because he’s already planning on jacking off and pooping in a series of diapers, while old people who really need diapers yell about how they will officially renounce Medicare and die, like patriots, at the Superdome. MORE »