We were so excited to see a tip in our inbox with the subject line, “Explosion at HHS Building,” because buildings? Blowing up? Dead bodies? HELLO, PAGEVIEWS! $$$$$$! But, alas, it was just “small explosion” a repairman caused while working on something. No one was hurt, no fires. LAME SANDWICH. MORE »

Here is an image of the much-anticipated explosion on the Potomac River today that was filmed for some new teevee pilot. It was still confusing to D.C. residents even though they had been alerted beforehand, because why the fuck is a rowboat being blown up? Should be a real winner of a show, although Obama will probably just preempt it every night to read more lies off of his Tellyprompter. [Flickr]

NASA, which means FAIL in the Moon Man language, has announced the doomed zillion-dollar replacement for the rust-bucket death-trap space shuttles that haven’t yet blown up won’t be ready until at least September of 2014, which means “never” in the Moon Man language. MORE »

Who is the Islamofascist responsible for setting fire to Hillary Clinton’s campaign office in Terre Haute, Indiana this morning? Two ladies were inside, but they made it out OK. A fire department representative said flames were shooting out the tops of the building and also a vehicle was burning in front of the office. Why won’t Barack Obama apologize for bombing his rival’s headquarters in such a clumsy fashion? [WSJ]

Oh look, a whole church exploded in “downtown Oconomowoc, Wisconsin” on Wednesday. Why is God (or the Devil) so angry at America, and so pissed at Wisconsin, in particular? The answers may surprise you, as will a lot more spooky pictures of this terrible disaster, after the jump. MORE »

Finally, the terrorists have figured out the whole “fight them over there so we don’t fight them at home” strategy and started blowing up Wal-Marts with pool chemicals. MORE »

• That bag near Union Station wasn’t dangerous, but they blew it up anyway. [WaPo]
• The Fort Reno PSA you won’t see on TV. [DCeiver]
• Seattle must be, like, the most expensive place in the UNIVERSE. [Washington to Washington]
• Behave on the Metro. The panopticon is here. [Radicalflower]
• Lucky commuter will get to blow up bridge, walk away scott free. [WaPo]