• More fancy graphics in support of taxing marijuana cigarettes. [Hit & Run]
• Matt is very worried about nonchalant archeologists digging up nuclear waste just for the fun of it. [Matt Yglesias]
• Here is your masturbatory WHAT IF? of the day: WHAT IF Barack Obama is fatally electrocuted by a stingray BUT Joe Biden doesn’t want to be president SO Senator Byrd — who is old! — becomes president because he’s president pro tempore of the Senate? [The Corner]
• Erick Erickson had an intimate discussion with Sarah Palin at a WaPo salon (?). [RedState]
• The Anti-Defamation League continues to protect Barack Obama from Jew-haters. [The Caucus]

For RedState, the time has come to fling poop toys at a Blue Dog Democrat. Erick Erickson writes, “Here’s the thing — if we make Earl Pomeroy’s life extremely painful for the next week, Republicans are going to think twice about jumping ship and so will a lot of the Blue Dog Democrats.” The actual Oxford-Harvard dictionary definition of “extremely painful” is “have some toy poop show up at your office in North Dakota.” It is more painful than cancer & Hitler combined. [RedState via Salon/War Room]

Oh hey girlfriends! Erick Erickson is so confused because how do all the gals, all of them, not love Obama’s health care plan when Obama himself is such a dreamboat? It’s weird right? Ha ha, it’s like, unless we’re like a bunch of lesbians we should be on board with this thing automatically. It’s called biology, and it’s a science—or so the boys tell us! [RedState]

Here is the Wall Street Journal’s important journalistic follow-up expose on Erick Erickson’s infallible plan to convenience Olympia Snowe out of office, forever. Erick Erickson was so stoked yesterday about getting a call from the WSJ, and check out all this killer contextualization he did. MORE »

Looking forward to this WSJ article, based on this epic thing. Can you imagine how many votes Olympia Snowe will win for life if her staffers go neighborhood to neighborhood giving each household a bag of rock salt for the winter? [Twitter]

This happened. [RedState]

• Scenario: Rush Limbaugh buys a football team, because that is what rich assholes do for entertainment. Discuss. [Think Progress]
• Do you know of any good Columbus-related literature that might interest Matt Yglesias? Matt is familiar with the works of Philip Roth, but that’s about it. [Matt Yglesias]
• If you live in New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine would like to meet you and shake your hand and explain his platform, which consists mostly of talking massive shit about his Republican opponent — who is a total lardbucket, by the way. [The Caucus]
• Liberals, immigrants, journalists, et all: Please take back your hate. It makes Michelle Malkin physically ill. [Michelle Malkin]
• Tea Baggers! Do you hear the trumpet call? — Yes, it Erick Erickson, farting trumpet noises from afar — listen closely! Put down your annotated copies of The Fountainhead, take off your Continental Army Lt. Colonel uniform … it’s time to water the Tree of Liberty with Ayn Rand’s urine and run for political office! [RedState]

So! Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize this morning and everyone on Earth—and the moon, way 2 stick it out moon!—could not be more surprised. Look at Robert Gibbs, just cold saying “wow” on a Twitter thing belonging to CBS person Mark Knoller! And “Erick Erickson,” some sort of retarded cousin of Robbie Robertson and #1 journalist on top Internet destination RedState.com is just a little caught off guard because he “did not realize the Nobel Peace Prize had an affirmative action quota for it.” Someone get Erick Erickson every single gold medal from the 2016 Olympics. MORE »

Someone sends RedState a photo of this unfunded, dinky thing, in Texas, and Erick Erickson writes, “We need that spirit in this country. We need the Spirit of Skidmore.” As tipster “Michael E.” writes, “An example of some garbage museum that the conservatives think should be the gold standard. ‘Welcome to the Smithsonian Institution, now without federal of state funding, open Sunday 3-5PM!!’” Indeed. It’s easy to maintain a museum when all it features is a bunch of old, rusty mechanical shit laying around the parking lot. [RedState]

• Why is Matt Yglesias such a self-loathing Jew? [Matt Yglesias]
• “Here was this guy Michael Savage screaming and ranting and raving about illegal immigration Islamofascism and you know it all started to click and make sense.” The End. [Think Progress]
• We love Erick Erickson and his enchanting stories about how Jesus denied illegal immigrant lepers health care. But what’s this, Erick? Five links, accompanied by five little commentaries? Fishy! What should RedState call their Rumors on the Internets? Our vote: “Reagan’s Daily Bidding.” [RedState]
• Joe Lieberman. Technically, not a Republican. And not a Democrat, either. But how can he call himself an Independent if he is still breastfed by Harry Reid and John Boehner (they alternate teets)? We will compromise and call him a Poopoocrat. [TPM]
• Barack Obama and Bill Clinton went on their first big date, and shared an apple pie milkshake and talked about health care reform, blowjobs, and other White House pastimes. [The Caucus]

• It’s “purely coincidental” that Chris Wallace has been continually plagued with painful bouts of “the mud butt” since 9/11. [Think Progress]
• General Russel Honoré, affectionately known as Cojones Honoré, might pop a plump nut all over David Vitter’s senate seat (which is really just a taxidermied hooker). [TPM]
• Everyone in L.A. is just getting so high and groovy on the dankest strains of “Purple Kush” and “Perez Hilton Sticky Icky.” [The Daily Dish]
• Swedish futon dealership Ikea has changed their typeface, which means if you are sensitive about fonts, you should probably kill yourself. [AMERICAblog]
• Erick Erickson will recite Gregorian Limbaugh chants with Sean Hannity, TONIGHT, at 9:30 pm. [RedState]