Tag: erick erickson

Mitch McConnell Hides Under His Shell From Mean Words Like ‘Racism’ And ‘Trump’

Mitch McConnell has a thing to say about racism, and that is "vote Trump!"

Poor Sad Old Bill Kristol To Go To His Grave Whispering #NeverTrump

Condoleezza Rice? Ben Sasse? Mark Cuban? ANYONE?

Let Us Drink The Delicious Tears Of The #NeverTrump Brigades

With Donald Trump the presumptive Republican nominee, Tuesday night and Wednesday morning have been time for much panic, many gnashing of the teeth for the NeverTrump folks. It's kind of cute to see their resolute determination that when they...

Rick Perry Not Willing To Be GOP’s Third Thing

As we inch ever closer to White Riot 2016 (hellllooooo Cleveland!), Republicans are sweating balls and bullets and gross glops of GOP sweat to figure out how to stop Donald Trump from Trumping them right in their smug little...

Erick Erickson Done Goat F*cking For Now, Ready To Save GOP

The Never Trump Republicans have a new plan to stop the Donald from ruling their world with an iron fist and a giant pair of hands. True, none of their plans -- forcing Trump to sign a loyalty pledge...
Love the smell of Republican infighting!

RNC Fires Racist Dirtbag Magazine For Being Mean To Racist Dirtbag Candidate

Oh how terrible, it seems that Donald Trump's existence continues to tear the Republican Party asunder, we are so deeply sorry about how hard we are LOLing. National Review, the racist collective of racist goons spawned from William F. Buckley,...
We pick neither.

Trump, Cruz Gently Ponder: Whose Momma Is A Dirtier New York Values Foreign?

In the lead-up to Thursday night's 74th Annual Daily Republican Debate, we were really hoping for a balls-out birthering cage match between Donald Trump and Ted Cruz and WE GOT IT! Fox Business Network debate host Neil Cavuto asked Cruz to...

Megyn Kelly Was Really Barfy The Day Her Wherever Bled All Over Donald Trump

Ooh Megyn Kelly is so great, ahh, she's nowhere near as much of a braindead loud-mouthed tub of dickcheese giblets as Sean Hannity or Bill O'Reilly. She even thinks her own brain thoughts sometimes, unlike those other Fox News...
How can we be lovers if we can't be friends?

Dude Caught Boning Goat, But It Probably Wasn’t Erick Erickson, Unless It Was

BREAKING ANIMAL SCHLONGING NEWS! We don't know if Erick Erickson nee RedState has traveled to Oklahoma recently, but a dude was caught doing sex to a goat in Oklahoma City on Christmas Eve, so it would be irresponsible not...
Wonkette Niece fires Donald Trump RIGHT BACK.

Republicans Are Jackholes And So Are Restaurant Customers. Your Weekly Top Ten

Top o' the Saturday morning to you, Wonkers! We assume you are lounged out in your Hello Kitty snuggie, ready to catch up on your Wonket Top Ten reading list from the week. If you're not, then take care of...

Here Are Erick Erickson’s Nuanced Thoughts About The Planned Parenthood Shooting

It's weird to watch a complete psychopath like Erick Erickson try to feign compassion. You can almost see his triple chin quiver with the sheer effort of it. You can see his piggish little eyes screw shut as he tries...
It's only racist if it's about the guy on the top, according to wingnuts.

RedState Explains Racisting, How Does It Work?

The bucket of mental squirrel pellets known as wingnut intertubes site RedState has found somebody making racisms! No, it wasn't about President Obama. We're pretty sure they're still complaining about how the P.C. police won't let them hurl racial slurs in...
evan hurst. just kidding, it's young handsome joe biden!

Wingnuts Piss All Over Grieving Joe Biden, Because That’s What They Do

Finally, after weeks and weeks and WEEKS AND FUCKING WEEKS of know-nothing speculation, we have our answer. Old Handsome Joe Biden is not running for president, and would like to spend some more time grieving his recently deceased son, can...
Classic pulp covers just don't account for women as equal participants in legislative diddling

It Turns Out We Weren’t Kidding About Kevin McCarthy’s Sex Scandal. Huh!

Remember a long, long time ago, when we told you John Boehner was quittin' this here speaker job, probably because SEX SCANDAL? And you were like, Oh, Wonkette, LOLZ, you're so funny, with the jokes, that's why we love...
How can we be lovers if we can't be friends?

Erick Erickson Quitting RedState To Spend More Time F*cking Goats

After twat-teasing us over the summer with promises to go the fuck away, and then not doing that, the redundantly named foul-brained metric fuckton of shit squeezed into a half-fuckton sack that is conservative blogger Erick Erickson has finally...
Values Voters arriving.

It’s The Values Voter Summit! Has Grindr Crashed Yet?

Hooray, the Values Voter Summit started Friday morning in Washington ... and you're late! Haha, just kidding, it's never too late to go to a sausage party full of sad, closeted dicks. We woulda been ALL OVER THIS SHIT...