Tag: dick cheney

Time To Get Romanced By Tim Kaine While Mike Pence Watches. Your Vice Presidential Debate Preview!

All the important details you never wanted to know about tonight's debate!
Screw the cookies. I want the Foreign Relations Committee

Liz Cheney Wins Wyoming Primary, Prepares To CONQUER HELL

Liz Cheney won the Republican primary for the open House seat in Wyoming, putting her on a path to eventual Overlordhood.

WaPo’s Jennifer Rubin Breaks Up With Abusive Dumb Nightmare Boyfriend, The GOP

The Washington Post's Jennifer Rubin breaks up with the GOP for being too crass, stupid, and angry. Maybe she is libertarian-curious?
Someone help him, please

Never Wrong Bill Kristol Will Never Say Never About Donald Trump

Oh hey, Bill Kristol, how's it hangin'? You out there in America somewhere, bein' wrong? Duh, of course. So, in case you didn't know, Bill Kristol, the man who is never always wrong, has been a big whore-pimper for the...
Sick fuck if true

Denny Hastert Going To Actual-Factual Prison For Covering Up How He Molested All The Boys

Denny Hastert, former speaker of the House and a serial child molester who for eight years was second in line to the presidency after Dick Cheney (who was already president anyway), has been sentenced to 15 months in actual...
It wasn't his case, but 9/11

9/11-Humper Rudy Giuliani So Mad At Hillary For Starting ISIS

Hillary Clinton is guilty of many things. She does emails to Sidney Blumenthal about what a gas it would be to do Benghazi a whole bunch maybe after brunch next Tuesday. She does secret speeches to Wall Street where...
This screengrab is mean as fuck, we are sorry. No we're not.

Fox Twit Elisabeth Hasselbeck: It’s Obama’s Fault We Have To Hate Muslims, Thanks Obama!

Twice-baked halfwit Elisabeth Hasselbeck hasn't vacated the Fox News studios yet, even though she PROMISED she was quitting to go spend more time making PB&J for her Hassel-spawn, and less time helping her cohosts Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade...
Something, Something Desssstiny

Liz Cheney Seriously Considering Another Losing Shot At National Office

Now here's a bit of news to brighten up your day: Fox News hawking head, torture enthusiast, and apprentice Sith Lord Liz Cheney is "taking a serious look" at running for Wyoming's sole House seat, following current Rep. Cynthia...
Just wake me up when the planet's destroyed.

Barack Obama Won’t Say Magic Words ‘Radical Islamic Terror,’ Must Resign

The post-massacre consensus is in: Paris would be safe today if Barack Obama had the balls to say the magic words "Radical Islamic Terrorism." Or maybe it's that we can't actually win until he says them. Or until we...

Look How Obama Ruined The GOP Primaries With All These New Jobs

Well, ferret nuts. Guess the GOP is going to have to figure out another reason to claim President Obama is the worst President Obama who ever presidented like a common Obama. After years of calling Obamacare a "job-killer" and promising that if...
Him?

Daddy Bush Says It’s Dick’s Fault Dubya Was A Idiot

Damn it, Poppy, you were a lot more likable when you were flashing your fabulous stripey socks and doing gay-lesbian weddings and jumping out of planes for your 117th birthday. Why, we could almost forget that you were the one...
Elijah Cummings takes us to CHURCH!

Rep. Elijah Cummings: America Is ‘A Better Country’ Than This Benghazi Hearing BS

Remember Benghazi Day? Of course you do, it was only a day ago. A long, long, 11-hour day of Republicans making it Baccarat crystal clear that the whole point of the seventh congressional investigation into how Hillary Clinton did...

RINO Kevin McCarthy Drops Out Of Speaker’s Race To Spend More Time Not Being Speaker

So ... remember how we told you that Conventional Wisdom had already elected House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy to fill John Boehner's falling-down-drunk speaker shoes, once he gets the hell out of dodge at the end of this month?...

Jeb! Losing So Hard, He’d Like To Now Remind You He IS A Bush

Jeb! Bush has been losing this presidential election since before he'd even announced he was in it. And it's only grown worse since then. At first, he figured the S-M-R-T move was pretending his last name was Not Bush,...
To be fair, he looks pretty safe there

Never Forget (Except For The Stuff They Wish We’d Forget, Go Ahead And Forget That Stuff)

What is it we're supposed to never forget again? George W. Bush, August 6, 2001: Bush listened to the briefing , Suskind says, then told the CIA briefer: “All right. You’ve covered your ass, now.” George W. Bush, March 13, 2002: just...
At the McClean (Virginia) of Madness

Dick Cheney Is Bombing Iran Right Now, In His ‘Heart’

In an alternate universe that, thank the maker, exists only in the fevered imagination of Dark Lord Dick, wherein a majority of Americans democratically elected Cheney (or his sockpuppet George, whatever), we are preparing to shock-n-awe Iran right ......