Tag Archives: dick cheney

  Let's All Civics Each Other!

AZ Mandates High School Civics Test, We Do Not Even Have A Problem With That

could you pass this?
Arizona Governor Doug Ducey (R) signed into law yesterday a bill requiring Arizona high school students to correctly answer 60 of the 100 questions in the civics section of the Immigration and Naturalization test for US citizenship in order to graduate or receive a GED. Although we are always suspicious when Republicans require citizen-related tests, all of the writers at yr Wonkette love civics very much, and it is our hobby that consumes all of our waking hours. And we love it when high school students do civics on each other, so that is probably a good thing to require of them! Really, the more civics the better, and if learning about civics creates voters who are informed about important things, like how democracy should work, and how it actually works, and how important it is to vote, then we think everyone should spend much more time learning civics by reading Wonkette, and also possibly by reading many other publications as well, plus also Wonkette. Read more on AZ Mandates High School Civics Test, We Do Not Even Have A Problem With That…
  Never ever seriously NEVER forget

2014: The Year We Still Hated George W. Bush, And You Can Too!

Still not over it
Sure, it has been many years since George Dubya Bush occupied the White House, which he stole, YES HE DID. But that doesn’t mean our fierce and fiery hatred of his presidency should end any time soon. In 2014, while he was emailing his nudie self-portraits to his sister (ewwwwww, dude, GROSS) and clearing brush and trying not to choke on pretzels and pretending he’s too dignified to criticize the current president — while not saying squat as his vice president says ALL THE WORST THINGS, gosh, how convenient — George continued to give us plenty of reasons to keep on keeping on with the despising of him and his presidency and, screw it, his little dog too. Read more on 2014: The Year We Still Hated George W. Bush, And You Can Too!…
  Grey Lady To Be Renditioned To Black Site

New York Times Calls For Extradition Of Dick Cheney To Any Planet With A Justice System

The New York Times editorial board ran an editorial Monday calling for the prosecution of those who ran the CIA’s torture program, proving that they are a bunch of hopeless romantics who believe in justice. They aren’t especially hopeful, noting that President Obama has shown virtually no interest in actually prosecuting anyone for torturing some folks, but bless them, they make the case anyway: Read more on New York Times Calls For Extradition Of Dick Cheney To Any Planet With A Justice System…
  Here Is A Nice Thing For A Change

The Colbert Report Is No More. Long Live Stephen Colbert’s Best Moment Ever

As you probably noticed, The Colbert Report ran its final episode last night. It was a big sendoff for a beloved entertainment icon. But remember when he got just a little too real with George W. Bush at the 2006 White House Correspondents’ Dinner and people thought he’d gone too far? Read more on The Colbert Report Is No More. Long Live Stephen Colbert’s Best Moment Ever…
  What’s more American than rectal hydration with mom’s apple pie?

Not At All Shocking New Poll Proves Torture Is Totally An American Value, Actually

It's not wrong when America does it
It’s a good thing we finally got the summarized and redacted truth about the CIA’s torture program so Americans would, at long last, be able to express their informed indignation and demand some accountability. Read more on Not At All Shocking New Poll Proves Torture Is Totally An American Value, Actually…
  How can we miss you if you don't stay away?

Dick Cheney Tortures Us By Making Us Look At More Of George Bush’s Paintings Or Something

Dick Cheney auditions for a reboot of
Sunday was a good day for the bookers on a couple of those political chat shows where Washington’s power brokers yap at each other in brazen displays of verbal hand jobbery. It’s not every week that the president and vice president of the previous administration both make appearances, but with last week’s release of the Senate’s torture report, both men might have been feeling the need to defend their legacy a bit. Surely there would be some tough questions and intense showdowns. Read more on Dick Cheney Tortures Us By Making Us Look At More Of George Bush’s Paintings Or Something…
  conservachristmas

Here Are Stupid Things To Buy For The Beloved Idiot Republicans In Your Life

Greetings, godless liberals! Since you don’t celebrate Christmas in your heathen belief system, you might not realize that the more upright members of society are using one of their “holy days” as a reason to spend the next two weeks exchanging bobbles and trinkets to signal fellowship and lord their financial prosperity over each other. Read more on Here Are Stupid Things To Buy For The Beloved Idiot Republicans In Your Life…
  Tortured Logic 2: Electric (Shocks To The Genitals) Boogaloo

Dick Cheney Throws George W. Bush Under War Criminal Bus

Dick Cheney, the dark lord who makes Satan himself cringe, wants you to know a few things about that Senate report on torture that he has not read but knows is not only “hooey” but also “full of crap.” Read more on Dick Cheney Throws George W. Bush Under War Criminal Bus…
  Obviously a distraction from SomethingElseGhazi

GOP Senators Would Rather Not Talk About Torture, Thanks. Or ‘Torture.’

Chock fulla wet beans.
It sure would be nice if we could put aside our partisan differences for just one half of one second to agree that torturing people — by, for example, raping prisoners with food, or, for another example, killing them — is bad and wrong, and we shouldn’t do that. But yeah, sure, right, whatEVER. This is America, where the one and only time we can agree on anything at all is that Nazis suck. Read more on GOP Senators Would Rather Not Talk About Torture, Thanks. Or ‘Torture.’…
  tortured logic

Dick Cheney Gives Torture Five Stars, Would Torture Again

Is this image hyperbolic? It might be a little hyperbolic.
The Senate Intelligence Committee released its much-anticipated report on the Bush administration’s CIA torture program today, and it’s a pretty big deal. If we’re to believe Fox News, it might be as inflammatory as that “Innocence of Muslims” video that sparked riots all over the Muslim world, except not in Benghazi. Read more on Dick Cheney Gives Torture Five Stars, Would Torture Again…
  Here have some news n stuff

Radical Feminist SCOTUS Forces Texas To Do All The Abortions Again

Bad news for this guy, great news for people who actually have abortions
Image via shortformblog We still can’t quite believe this, but the Supreme Court issued this very brief order on Tuesday, re-opening about a dozen of Texas’s abortion clinics that had been shut down by the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals earlier this month while the lower court decides the underlying case: Read more on Radical Feminist SCOTUS Forces Texas To Do All The Abortions Again…
  #MadAboutAThing

Senator Ron Johnson To Little Lady Senator: Pics Or GTFO

Wisconsin’s Ron Johnson (R-Of course) has only been a member of the United States Senate for about five minutes (technically he was elected in 2010, which in Senate years is five minutes), but he sure knows a thing or three about how there has never been a single moment of less-than-perfect decorum. (He was not yet in the Senate when Vice President Dick Cheney told Sen. Patrick Leahy to quote unquote GO FUCK YOURSELF back in 2004, so that wouldn’t even count.) Read more on Senator Ron Johnson To Little Lady Senator: Pics Or GTFO…
  the family that preys together stays together

Politico Helps Cheney Family Continues Their Spectacular Charm Offensive Tour

Politico, which is a publication we all still have to pretend isn’t just a retrograde mouthpiece for dickheads, gave human death’s head mask Dick Cheney, his bride of satan, Lynne, and his chip-off-the-old-demon Liz (the gay offspring wisely declined to attend) a lunchtime platform to spew some nonsense and hate about oh, so many things really. You have to hand it to the Cheney family. Their hatefulness is really really well-rounded. Read more on Politico Helps Cheney Family Continues Their Spectacular Charm Offensive Tour…
  call to action for worthly wokette skum

All Y’all Need To Sign This Petition To Make George W. Bush Ambassador To The Iraq Such As

Nobody was all that surprised when the White House’s petition site got turned into a vehicle for silliness, like the petition calling on the U.S. Government to build its very own Death Star, or to deport Piers Morgan for not loving guns the way a real American should. And then there’s the stupid ones, like the suggestion that we name sportsball goalkeeper Tim Howard as “secretary of DEFENSE,” haw-haw. But we’re pretty sure that Wonkers can all get behind this excellent suggestion: Appoint George W. Bush the next ambassador to Iraq. Read more on All Y’all Need To Sign This Petition To Make George W. Bush Ambassador To The Iraq Such As…
  Happy Nice Time People

A Park Ranger Was Fired For Dancing On The Job In This Morning’s Happy Links!

BREAKING: Neil Gaiman has jumped on board to help us fight injustice at Happy Nice Time People! He retweeted a story we posted about a thing yr Editrix found: a man was fired for dancing at work! He was a happy park ranger, and now he is no kind of park ranger at all. Anyway, we are determined to help him out, which is why we’ve included him in this morning’s Happy Links. Read more on A Park Ranger Was Fired For Dancing On The Job In This Morning’s Happy Links!…
  clipbait

Here’s Jon Stewart On The Latest Outbreak Of ‘America’s Tragedy Herpe, Dick Cheney’ (Video)

Iraq is back in the news, and so no one should be surprised, says Jon Stewart, that we’ve had another flare-up of “America’s tragedy herpe, Dick Cheney,” who’s returned like a venereal wart of sadness and fail. Fine, Dick, go ahead and Read more on Here’s Jon Stewart On The Latest Outbreak Of ‘America’s Tragedy Herpe, Dick Cheney’ (Video)…
  leave lord vader aloooooone

Judith Miller Simply Will Not Have You Second-Guessing The Heroes Who Started The Iraq War

Since they’re getting the old Iraq War band together for a Greatest Misses tour, it only stands to reason that we’d hear from the group’s publicist, Judith Miller. On Fox News Friday, Miller said that it is just SO UNFAIR for anyone to doubt the counsel of the people who were so spectacularly wrong on Iraq the first time around. After all, they probably have a lot that they can contribute, considering their expertise in being dead wrong. Maybe they’ll be right this time. It could happen! Read more on Judith Miller Simply Will Not Have You Second-Guessing The Heroes Who Started The Iraq War…
  clipbait

Stephen Colbert Is Loving The Iraq Pack’s Reunion Tour (Video)

On Thursday’s Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert welcomed the reunion tour of his favorite band, even though they’re all just playing the base. John McCain is absolutely right, Stephen says: in 2009, America had the war won, “when we left Iraq a peaceful, smoldering democracy.” And even the leader of the Iraq Pack, Old Dead Eyes, is back, even if that mean old liberal Megyn Kelly is attacking him. Read more on Stephen Colbert Is Loving The Iraq Pack’s Reunion Tour (Video)…
  murder ain't cheap

Let’s All Go Donate To Dick And Liz Cheney’s Cool New Non-Profit And Have War Forever

It was only yesterday that we had to endure Dick and Liz Cheney’s Op-Ed at the Wall Street Journal. It was a quaint little trip down memory lane, reminiscing about how when Cheney was the puppetmaster of one George W. Bush, everything was the coolest because we had war all the time. The Cheneys aren’t going to rest on their laurels and just sit around calling for perpetual war. No, they’re putting other people’s money where their mouths are by starting the Alliance for a Stronger America, a non-profit entity which appears only to exist to smack talk about Obama. We know that American security, peace, and freedom depend upon reversing the dangerous policies of the Obama Administration. Oh, and also the Alliance exists so that WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR. Read more on Let’s All Go Donate To Dick And Liz Cheney’s Cool New Non-Profit And Have War Forever…
  bless his undead heart

Megyn Kelly So Mean To Dick Cheney, UNFAIR

For the most part, we are not big fans of Fox’s Megyn Kelly. There’s just something about her head-tilted, unbelieving-skeptic pose that screams Fakey McFakerton to us, as if attitude = hard-hitting journalism. All the same, it’s kind of fun to see that pissed-off sorority-girl-who-can’t-believe-she-got-a-“C” face turned on kitten-devouring warmonkey Dick Cheney and his prop daughter Liz. Take this clip from Wednesday’s The Kelly Files, where Megs opened the segment quoting a WaPo piece asking why anyone would listen to the one person in America “who has been more wrong and more shamelessly dishonest on the topic of Iraq.” And then the mood started getting a little unfriendly. Read more on Megyn Kelly So Mean To Dick Cheney, UNFAIR…
  fuck you you fucking fuck

Dick And Liz Cheney Wax Nostalgic About How Great War Was When They Ran Things

We never remember what the paywall rules are over at the Wall Street Journal, so we can’t guarantee you’ll even be able to read the the link we’re about to yell about, but once you check out the yelling, you may not actually want to read the WSJ piece. Lord knows we wish we hadn’t. We already knew this week was Old Home Week for Iraq War Enthusiasts, thanks to Tony Blair’s lengthy piece about how much he loved invading Iraq so much that he would gay marry invading Iraq. It was really only a matter of time before someone fed Dick Cheney enough human blood that he could crawl out from his subterranean lair, scoop up his equally bloodthirsty spawn, and bludgeon one of his slaves until they ghostwrote him a WSJ thing about how kickass everything in Iraq was until the black guy came along and fucked it all up. Read more on Dick And Liz Cheney Wax Nostalgic About How Great War Was When They Ran Things…