cnn
Murderous Charlatan Donald Rumsfeld Still Terrible At Math
Here is a link to a video, since CNN’s embed code is totally borked, for anyone who cares what a disgraced and discredited old sociopath thinks about anything. It is your third most favorite unindicted war criminal, Donald Rumsfeld! He was on the teevee with smarmy phone-raper Piers Morgan, saying words about how scandals are [...]
CNN Taking Revenge On Snarky Viewers By Inflicting Newt Gingrich On Them
CNN, the fallen child prodigy of television journalism, has spent the majority of its time after the Clinton Impeachment periodically re-branding in an increasingly pathetic attempt to stave off the inevitable decline into irrelevance. The most recent iteration of CNN has involved copying their meth-ed out stripper of a sister channel “HLN” because nothing says [...]
CNN Reporters Looking A Bit Glum Over Epically Messing Their Bed On Boston Bombing (Video)
UPDATE! Now with video stolen from Mediaite! CNN, after spending almost an hour getting more and more frenzied while trumpeting its scoop that law enforcement had identified a suspect and had either arrested that suspect or were on the verge of arresting that suspect, just had the terrible misfortune of having to retract its entire [...]
Lamestream Media Hunting Down Poor Michele Bachmann Like Wild Dog
So here is how it went: First Michele Bachmann screeched about how our dastardly Usurper got a total Death to Amerikkka Boner when he murdered our Libyan ambassador in BENGHAZIIIIIII, and then Michele Bachmann told some dumb lies about the five chefs who fly on Air Force One and the “presidential dogwalker” and $1.4 billion [...]
David Frum Was Super-High When He Wrote This Column On Smoking Drugs
Marijuana is a SUPER RISKY drug you guys, we don’t know if you knew that, but David Frum is giving out free advice today about the dangers of marijuana, and how it leads to you not understanding your home loan and something about structural racism/classism in higher education. No, seriously, THIS IS WHAT HE IS [...]
Ladies In Uproar Over Time-Of-The-Month Science
Hey fellow(ette) mom-bloggers! Has someone somewhere suggested that we have hormones, and they sometimes cause us to react or overreact or under-react differently at different times? Would you perhaps like to read a perfectly reasonable piece about some science that may or may not be flawed and then BLOW THE FUCK UP AT THE MESSENGER [...]
We Genocided The Indians And Enslaved The Slaves So Man-Child Could Live With Parents And Whine About Voting
Happy Columbus Day, Merkins! Are you so grateful to be a citizen of the US-of-A on this, the day we commemorate how we came over and righteously kicked some Injun ass? How about if you knew we had given our righteous ass-kickings so terrible man-children could live in their parents’ garage apartments, decline full time [...]
CNN Tells Of Harrowing Dangers Mitt Romney Faced In 1968 France (While Avoiding The Vietnam War)
Perhaps you thought Mitt Romney’s time in France, in 1968, while raking in Dick Cheney-level numbers of military deferments from serving in Vietnam, was all sunshine and brie. Well CNN’s “Romney Revealed” has another think coming at you! “In 1968, France was a dangerous place to be for a 21-year-old American, but Mitt Romney was [...]
Not At All Racist Tea Party Express Chairwoman Goes on CNN to Explain Why Obama Doesn’t Love America Like ‘We’ Do
Hello Wonketeers, please enjoy this fun video wherein chairwoman of the Tea Party express Amy Kremer tries to explain why “Obama doesn’t love America the way we do.” Hint: it has something to do with him being “about more a global — having, uh, global, um, oh what’s the word? Being more global, one-world, with [...]
Literally Thousands Of RNC Convention-Goers Did Not Throw Peanuts At A Black Woman And Call Her An Animal
After last night’s stirring RNC tribute to small business people who did not receive any help from the government except for government loans and grants and a taxpayer-funded stage to pimp their businesses, it is difficult to be more inspired than we already are. But here is a positive, hopeful story that will put a [...]
You Will Never Guess CNN’s Double-Secret Source About Romney’s Taxes
It’s good to be Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid. Sure, all the establishment whiners are like, OH, HOW RUDE, Harry Reid is positing terrible things about poor Mittens Romney, who has no possible way to clear himself of Harry Reid’s terrible charges! Worse, Reid refuses to say who his source is, and we ALL KNOW [...]
Erin Burnett Thinks You Are A Loser, Lies About It
OMG you guys, what was it like to wake up on Thursday and have less liberty? Did you know right away, or were you in so much shock that it took awhile to hit you? Because these are the kinds of questions your grandkids will ask about the Day That Justice Roberts Took Freedom Away, [...]
CNN Typist LZ Granderson Simply Does Not Care For Investigative Reporting
Americans are so NOSY, you guys, what with their unrelenting interference in Vice Presidential matters and this bizarre obsession with “unsealing” classified documents to better understand the mistakes and triumphs of the past. Thomas Jefferson? Moron. James Madison? Hippie. And don’t even get me started on George Washington. Via an Op-ed piece by CNN journalist typist LZ Granderson: We are [...]
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