chuck grassley

Texas trailer hitch replica Louis Gohmert wants to get to the bottom of this IRS scandal so badly he’s willing to put the taxpayers’ money where his mouth is with a bill he introduced last week, the “Identify and Return Sent E-mails Act,” which would provide a cool $1 million to any whiz kid who can […]

We live in weird times, and we are not talking about just gay marijuana orgies in Colorado, because Sens. Rand Paul (R-KY) and Ted Cruz (R-TX) are joining Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) on her military sexual assault bill. According to Politico: The tea party favorites give the bill’s lead sponsor, Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand, critical conservative […]

Remember how when you were 14 years old and you were “dating” someone, which maybe meant that you sat next to each other at lunch because it was like 1982 and there was no such thing as obsessively texting the object of your affection? Nevermind. OK then. Remember when you were 14 and you had […]

Ugh, we can’t even. Fucking… OK, here we go. The new thing Republicans are saying: Nominating judges to fill vacancies on the DC Circuit Court is “court packing,” despite the fact that it is fucking not court packing, because “court packing” is a term that has an objective, universally acknowledged meaning and that meaning is […]

Famous Senate coot Chuck Grassley has now forgotten how to operate his beleaguered cell phone beyond any function other than to beam nonsense to the Twitters. HOW DOES THE SILENCE BUTTON WORK, CONSARNIT? Let this be a warning to you, children. [Buzzfeed]

Oh dear, Sen. Chuck Grassley snuck out the window again after lights-out, and now he’s leading inquiries into the Secret Service sex scandal. Whatcha got so far, inspector? “Sen. Charles Grassley (R-Iowa) said the Colombia prostitutes at the center of the Secret Service scandal may have been spies planted by the Russian government.” And if […]

Constituents askd why i am not outraged at PresO attack on supreme court independence. Bcause Am ppl r not stupid as this x prof of con law — ChuckGrassley (@ChuckGrassley) April 7, 2012 And so it was that Iowa senior Senator Chuck Grassley called President Obama “stupid” on Twitter, six minutes after the previous tweet […]

Check out the Senate, guys, they passed two whole major bills on Thursday! Don’t look now, but the JOBS Act to reduce regulations on small businesses and the STOCK Act to prevent insider trading in Congress — both already passed by the House — made it through the Senate by fairly convincing bipartisan margins. Where […]

Oh, dear. Grampa Cornpants is experiencing the senior’s equivalent of discovering there’s no Santa Claus: Learning that the History Channel is just a bunch of alien Nazi sweepstakes porn that instantly lobotomizes the viewer. Oh god, now Grassley’s communications guy is going to holler at us for breaking the Santa Claus news to the Senator… […]

Sen. Chuck Grassley h s an iphone, you guys.

WOAH HEY, how did an intelligible phrase sneak into the stream of notoriously incomprehensible re-imaginings of the English language that we are usually treated to on Senator Chuck Grassley’s Twitter feed? Did science up and find a cure for “teabagger?” Kind of! It’s known in this case as “hacking.”

Oh, goody! Senator Chuck Grassley has become the latest Republican non-healing ulcer to air his word salad “ideas” on child labor. With the help of palletfuls of billion dollar bills from unwitting taxpayers, Grassley’s state of Iowa and its high-fructose corn syrup fields have been enfluffening America’s children for the past thirty years. But times […]

The Senate Judiciary Committee voted 10-8 today to advance a bill to repeal DOMA over Republican objections. Not just the usual “becuz Jesus no likey teh gheyz” objections, but for a novel new terrible reason: gay marriage will ruin Social Security! “No one has paid into the Social Security system expecting benefits to be paid […]

Barry Obama from the Block finally got around to installing the Twitter application on his Blackberry this weekend, probably after John Boehner mocked him at their Golf Summit for running around without it. The president’s account to date has been filled with dry robot White House staffer tweets that made Chuck Grassley’s Twitter feed look like […]

What sort of important legislator stuff has your senior senator been up to lately, Iowa? He’s been mowing his lawn. That’s almost as cool as killing Osama bin Laden! Grassley would like you to know he’s come up with an incredible innovation: He’s stuck two push mowers he had lying around to the back of […]