chuck grassley
The Lonely Passion Of Chuck Grassley, Counting The Moments Until Obama Calls Again
Remember how when you were 14 years old and you were “dating” someone, which maybe meant that you sat next to each other at lunch because it was like 1982 and there was no such thing as obsessively texting the object of your affection? Nevermind. OK then. Remember when you were 14 and you had [...]
GOP: Obama Court-Packing Or Fudge-Packing Or Something, Who Even Knows
Ugh, we can’t even. Fucking… OK, here we go. The new thing Republicans are saying: Nominating judges to fill vacancies on the DC Circuit Court is “court packing,” despite the fact that it is fucking not court packing, because “court packing” is a term that has an objective, universally acknowledged meaning and that meaning is [...]
Chuck Grassley’s Weary Cell Phone Turns Against Him (VIDEO)
Famous Senate coot Chuck Grassley has now forgotten how to operate his beleaguered cell phone beyond any function other than to beam nonsense to the Twitters. HOW DOES THE SILENCE BUTTON WORK, CONSARNIT? Let this be a warning to you, children. [Buzzfeed]
Chuck Grassley’s Got This Whole Secret Service Problem Covered, You Guys
Oh dear, Sen. Chuck Grassley snuck out the window again after lights-out, and now he’s leading inquiries into the Secret Service sex scandal. Whatcha got so far, inspector? “Sen. Charles Grassley (R-Iowa) said the Colombia prostitutes at the center of the Secret Service scandal may have been spies planted by the Russian government.” And if [...]
Senate Celebrates Spring Break With Free Love Festival of Bipartisan Votes
Check out the Senate, guys, they passed two whole major bills on Thursday! Don’t look now, but the JOBS Act to reduce regulations on small businesses and the STOCK Act to prevent insider trading in Congress — both already passed by the House — made it through the Senate by fairly convincing bipartisan margins. Where [...]
Chuck Grassley Learns Devastating Truth About The History Channel
Oh, dear. Grampa Cornpants is experiencing the senior’s equivalent of discovering there’s no Santa Claus: Learning that the History Channel is just a bunch of alien Nazi sweepstakes porn that instantly lobotomizes the viewer. Oh god, now Grassley’s communications guy is going to holler at us for breaking the Santa Claus news to the Senator… [...]
Hot Breaking Chuck Grassley Twitter Telephone Action
Sen. Chuck Grassley h s an iphone, you guys.
Spelling on Chuck Grassley’s Twitter Finally Improves After Being Hacked
WOAH HEY, how did an intelligible phrase sneak into the stream of notoriously incomprehensible re-imaginings of the English language that we are usually treated to on Senator Chuck Grassley’s Twitter feed? Did science up and find a cure for “teabagger?” Kind of! It’s known in this case as “hacking.”
Chuck Grassley To End Child Obesity By Ending Labor Laws For Fat Kids
Oh, goody! Senator Chuck Grassley has become the latest Republican non-healing ulcer to air his word salad “ideas” on child labor. With the help of palletfuls of billion dollar bills from unwitting taxpayers, Grassley’s state of Iowa and its high-fructose corn syrup fields have been enfluffening America’s children for the past thirty years. But times [...]
Chuck Grassley Invents New Way To Cut Grass
What sort of important legislator stuff has your senior senator been up to lately, Iowa? He’s been mowing his lawn. That’s almost as cool as killing Osama bin Laden! Grassley would like you to know he’s come up with an incredible innovation: He’s stuck two push mowers he had lying around to the back of [...]
Chuck Grassley’s Latest Twitter Neologism: ‘Person-Anal Questions’
Very good person-anal questions. [Twitter]
Chuck Grassley Doesn’t Mince Words: Blames NATO In Libya For ‘Legles Kiod’
Is this the tweet that turns the tide of American public opinion on the war on Libya? Chuck Grassley has some tough talk for NATO. It has blood on it hand, he says. For every legles kiod. Because that’s what clusters do folks: legles kiod. And he’s not afraid to say it. If he has [...]
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