Man, the top brass at the Washington Post are killing the everlasting shit out of Dana Milbank and Chris Cillizza’s horrific web gag “Mouthpiece Theater,” and not very discreetly! Both Cillizza and in-house arbiter of all that is true and fair in media, Howard Kurtz, have written long pieces about this Internet “experiment” gone bad, badder, and ultimately bad enough that Washingtonpost.com began choking to death on this ball-gag of experimental video-journalism. MORE »

You know, Mouthpiece Theater, the viral Internet hit of the year! [Media Matters]

This wretched thing again. Dana Milbank and Chris Cillizza of the Washington Post ran with a very clever theme for this week’s “Embodiment Of All That Is Wrong With Washington” Theater comedy segment: what wacky made-up beers would various public officials drink if they were invited to the Beer Summit?! Cillizza jokes about how scumsucking ex-Rep. Chip Pickering, who divorced his wife after cheating on her constantly, for years, would drink “Bitter Woman From Hell,” now that she’s suing him — crazy women! — while Milbank suggests Hillary Clinton would drink “Mad Bitch.” Hmm! We’re sure Washington Post editors will discipline Milbank appropriately. (They will give him a raise.) [TPM via Washington Monthly]

Famous harried slave and recipient of comical e-mails Joel Sawyer has regrettably tendered his resignation as Mark Sanford’s spokesman, although it is unclear as to why. Perhaps the Washington Post’s Chris Cillizza should resend this e-mail to procure his latest Fix! [AP]

For several days in late June, Mark Sanford spokesman Joel Sawyer had just about the worst job ever, having to deal with every national reporter and local legislator asking about Sanford’s whereabouts — which he did not know and could not find out, because Mark Sanford makes sure to turn off his cellphone when he’s sexing Argentine Firecrackers, which is always. What hilarious e-mails did Sawyer receive during these mysterious times, from the terrible media, and Stephen Colbert? Thanks to a successful open records request from South Carolina’s The State newspaper, we now present a Children’s Treasury of several! MORE »

Well holy jesus shit. We didn’t know Chris Cillizza was a sociopath too! It sure infects everyone, at that newspaper, doesn’t it now. Also: way to go guys, at the end there, mocking Lee Fisher for being shirtless in a YouTube that was “circulating” last week! Maybe you should have mentioned that the clip is a moment of candor from a 2006 campaign documentary, and that it makes sense in that context. Or just keep postin’ that wacky video of the shirtless Democrat Lieutenant Governor from Ohio! The smear folks who cut the clip for YouTube and e-mailed it anonymously to every blogger will appreciate your efforts. Enjoy Swine Flu, boys! [YouTube]

Now that Dick Cheney has been literally wheeled out of Washington on a stretcher, who will we blurrily photograph molesting young maidens in distress? That is a question that only you, the reader, can answer. Send us your sightings/sexy candid camera-phone pics of vaguely famous people misbehaving around town for our famous and sporadically produced feature, “Wonk’d.” A handful of Wonkette readers recently spotted DC celebs in such unlikely places as the gym, and in “makeup trailers” (!). After the jump, sightings of a couple of news people and also a Weeds star and maybe even President Oprah Winfrey herself, eating her feelings at Starbucks later today! MORE »

The National Review hears something HMM: “One side effect of McCain’s debate gambit is, I’m told, that everyone at Ole Miss now hates him. It will make for a very hostile audience tonight among those students and faculty attending. He might have to apologize for creating the uncertainty or make some explanation up front, which is never ideal.” Ah but Rich Lowry, a Maverick thrives on hatred! (Besides, they don’t like BLACK PEOPLE either in Mississippi so it balances out). As John McWalnuts has told us countless times this campaign, he’s been on Capitol Hill for decades and has made no friends there. It’s his “thing.” What a man! A couple of other analyses of how McCain blew nuts with this weird debate gag, below. MORE »

• WAIT, WHAT?: The Washington Post’s masterful Chris Cillizza: “A huge crowd today could be a mixed blessing for Obama. On the one hand, it is a potent symbol of the excitement his candidacy has caused worldwide. On the other, thousands and thousands of cheering Germans may not play well stateside. Does a big crowd work to Obama’s benefit or detriment? Or somewhere in between?” The teevee crowd, of course, shares this sentiment. What do these people mean? That the “benefit” is the image of a large, excited crowd, and the “detriment” is that it’s a large, excited crowd of Nazis? [WP/The Fix]

Their blogging can be just as random as ADD-afflicted as anyone else’s, dammit! MORE »

From the official announcement of Chris Cillizza’s hire as “politics blogger” (”Announcement: Politics Blogger Hired”):

[T] he plan is to create a feature that no political professional, politics junkie or average Post/post.com reader can live without.

As opposed to, say, the Post? We kid. We heart the Post’s political coverage — which is why we’re very worried about them getting into this “blogging” business. Don’t bloggers get things wrong? Oh, and btw:

One thing we need is a name for it. If you’ve got an idea and we ultimately pick it, I’ll buy you a six-pack of your favorite beverage (sorry, no iPod handouts).

Bummer about the iPods, but we’ll just suggest something away: Just don’t call it a blog.

Full email after the jump.

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