Carl Paladino
Inspiration To the Insane Carl Paladino Not Going To Run For Chris Lee’s Sex Seat
Tea party-backed 2010 GOP gubernatorial nominee Carl Paladino won’t run for the now-vacant seat of former Rep. Chris Lee (R-N.Y), instead throwing his support behind state Assemblywoman Jane Corwin (R) should she run. In the wake of Lee’s quick resignation Wednesday evening after embarrassing web postings and photos surfaced on Gawker, a source close to [...]
Carl Paladino Has a Baseball Bat: The Best of Last Night’s Coverage
What is going on with Bachmann in this video? Her face is just unnatural, for one, but God, is her whole point of going on with those cackling MSNBC bitters just so there will be a clip of her making fun of that evil librul channel to pass around in fundraising e-mails? She has no [...]
Drunk Carl Paladino Jumps In Your Halloween Photos
Who is this mysterious man next to the guy with the shoe-polish face? No, it is not a “good Carl Paladino costume,” it is the man himself, doing what every candidate should do mere hours before his gubernatorial election: get drunk at the local bar and grope some young women in “sexy Mrs. Buttersworth” costumes. [...]
Carl Paladino Accused of Mailing ‘Sexual Predator Alerts’
Just one more day just one more day just one more day: The wife of a Libertarian running for New York governor race is speaking out against an anonymous campaign mailer that depicted her husband as the subject of a “sexual predator alert.” No one has claimed responsibility for the mailer that is estimated to [...]
Carl Paladino Calls Kirsten Gillibrand ‘Little Girl’
Here is our racist animal porn friend Carl Paladino, just talkin’ about little girls (who are actually United States Senators): Carl P. Paladino, the Republican candidate for governor, promised he would be politically incorrect. He wasn’t kidding. On Thursday, during a rally in Hicksville, N.Y., he called the state’s junior United States senator, Kirsten E. [...]
Political Mailers Make Americans Shriek, Vomit
Adults hate getting mail, because these so-called “written correspondences” are almost always just bills, bills, corn syrup coupons and more bills. (Only children like getting mail, because their mail is always birthday or 9/11 checks from grandma.) This is why sending out “political mailers” is probably not very effective — “no mail is good mail,” [...]
A Children’s Treasury Of Drag Queens Running Through the DC Streets
Let’s play “What would Carl Paladino do if he saw a bunch of drag queens running down a perfectly nice street in the middle of the District of Columbia while happy, well-adjusted Washingtonians watched and cheered and after the races scrambled to take photos with the Drag Queens, probably for future campaign purposes!” Carl surely [...]
New York Gubernatorial Orgy Focuses On ‘Rent Is Too Damn High,’ Hookers
America witnessed beautiful, unvarnished Democracy last night, and it was delicious. All seven mostly-insane New York gubernatorial candidates participated in a remarkably civil and friendly chitchat, and Carl Paladino didn’t even say anything vaguely racist — which is a miracle, Hallelujah et cetera. (Every time Paladino says something horrible, Satan has sex with an endangered [...]
Alex Pareene Liveblogged the NY Gov Debate!
Here is a thing that happened: deceased Wonkette editor Alex Pareene liveblogged the Paladino-Cuomo debate for Capital New York! Alex: You know it occurs to me that if you’re a regular fringe candidate who for whatever reason sat this election out, you are totally watching this right now and kicking yourself.
Taiwan Animators Fantasize About Carl Paladino’s Gay Campaign
Who knew Carl Paladino would be so much fun, what with his homosexual gay-man night clubs and the boobies and the gay parades? We thought he was just an ignorant boring gazillionaire creep who forced racist porn on his underlings!
Carl Paladino’s Advisor Was Licked At That Gay Pride Parade
No matter how much he tries to escape it, Carl Paladino’s life is full of the gay he hates so much. That whole New York gay pride parade he thought was so disgusting? Yeah, one of his “key advisors,” Roger Stone, was at that thing. So was Roger Stone’s shirtless body and that of a [...]
Carl Paladino’s Gay Nephew Quits Thriving Paladino Furry Campaign
Carl Paladino likes to point to his gay nephew, Jeff Hannon, as evidence that he’s no homophobe. That’s funny, because Jeff Hannon seems to think Carl Paladino is a homophobe, as the 23-year-old has stopped showing up to work at the Paladino campaign. This is according to the New York Post, which also wants you [...]
The Jews Made Gay Club Owner Carl Paladino Homophobic
Have you ever gotten into an argument with someone about, say, racial relations, and halfway through it the dude is all like, “Really, anything terrible I say about the blacks is totally not racist because MY SISTER DATES A BLACK GUY AND I’M TOTALLY FINE WITH IT”? This is an annoying but sometimes effective rhetorical [...]
Carl Paladino Wants To Have Sex With Eric Holder
Questioner: “If you were the chief executive of New York, what would your response be to the attorney general of the United States deciding to hold terrorist trials in Manhattan?” Paladino: “F*** him. F*** him.” Your response would be to fuck Eric Holder? SOMEBODY’S BEEN BRAINWASHED BY A GAY PARADE FLOAT! [Hotline]
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