Tag Archives: books

  Books For Parents Who Hate Their Children

Insane Anti-Vaxxer Children’s Book Will Make Every Kid Want Measles

Oh what fun!
So here is a thing that exists: An anti-vaxxer children’s book called Melanie’s Marvelous Measles, published in 2012 and getting renewed attention now for pretty obvious reasons. It’s a happy little book about the joys of getting measles and staying healthy by never getting vaccinated! We felt a bit guilty about even spending three bucks for the Kindle version, but we knew that you, the Wonkette reader, deserved to get more than a third-hand look at this madness — you deserve a second-hand look through Dok Zoom’s suffering eyes. So we resolved to double our contribution to Doctors Without Borders as penance, and clicked “buy now.” Read more on Insane Anti-Vaxxer Children’s Book Will Make Every Kid Want Measles…
  the power of aqua buddha compels you

Rand Paul Sure Loves This Dude Who Loves The Confederacy

Senator, you forgot to put on pants AGAIN???
Like Jesus, we all have a cross to bear, and our particular cross is shaped like Sen. Rand Paul (R-Headdesk), a man so dumb that we are amazed he is allowed out of his house without wearing a helmet and a mouth guard. And when he joins forces with Judge Andrew Napolitano, the Confederate apologist prone to criticizing President Lincoln for forcing an end to slavery when the judge insists the “peculiar institution” would have eventually, someday, probably, likely died out on its own? The tsunami of dumb unleashed on the public could make Idiocracy look like the Oxford classroom scenes in Chariots of Fire. Read more on Rand Paul Sure Loves This Dude Who Loves The Confederacy…
  Joe Biden Swimming Deserves a Quiet Night

Old Naked Joe Biden

On clser examination, that's not OHJB doing the backstroke in a pool
The New York Daily News has the scoop on a new book that uncovers (Ha! Ha!) Old Handsome Joe Biden’s habit of swimming nude, just like John Quincy Adams, except not in the Potomac, so no lady reporters can sit on his clothes to get an exclusive interview. According to Wall Street Journal reporter Ronald Kessler’s The First Family Detail: Secret Service Agents Reveal the Hidden Lives of the Presidents, out later this week, Secret Service agents are a bit squicked out by the Vice President’s swimming attire: Read more on Old Naked Joe Biden…
  laugh while you can monkeyboy

Basketballmer, Birthday Books, Bakersfield, And Boobs, All In Your Afternoon Happy Links!

Man, Snipy and Rebecca take ONE afternoon off from writing the link post, and out come the Ponies. So sue us. Here are your Happy Nice Time links, People: The upcoming Season 2 of HBO’s True Detective will be set in California, but not in Los Angeles, which has Been Done. Read more on Basketballmer, Birthday Books, Bakersfield, And Boobs, All In Your Afternoon Happy Links!…
  let us now brag on awesome kids

Sometimes Your 17-Year-Old Suggests The Best Gift Idea Ever

My son, Kid Zoom, turned 17 yesterday. I’d had no idea what to get him for his birthday, so last weekend I asked him what he’d like. His answer kind of blew me away, because what 17-year-old would ever say, “How about you give me a stack of books that you think it’s absolutely essential for me to read”? Read more on Sometimes Your 17-Year-Old Suggests The Best Gift Idea Ever…
  Too Visible Man

The Cover Of Allen West’s New Book Is Terrific, We Can’t Wait To Laugh At The Mere Idea Of Reading It

Wow, how could this cover of Allen West’s probably terrible new book be any better? More eagles, maybe, like a live one excreting digested fish sludge on Allen West’s head. That’s good luck, we hear! Oh, it could be a Blingee! With pictures of guns and dancing aliens smoking marijuana, yes! Read more on The Cover Of Allen West’s New Book Is Terrific, We Can’t Wait To Laugh At The Mere Idea Of Reading It…
  those weren't the days

New Bush-Cheney Postmortem Shows The Lighter Side Of Gross Incompetence And Corruption

Things are pretty bad now. Many liberals are angry, depressed, or both. We wasted our breath for years, saying “Hey rich folks, we know you don’t love paying taxes, but these people you’re manipulating with ridiculous lies in order to win elections — maybe stop? Because they’re idiots, and they could be dangerous?” Nobody listened. Which reminds us of another time nobody listened to liberals: Always, but especially when George W. Bush was president. Today’s tumble down the memory hole is courtesy of the New York Times as they excerpt/adapt digestible chunks of Peter Baker’s new book “Days of Fire: Bush and Cheney in the White House.” How many amusing pull quotes are there? All of them, Katie Read more on New Bush-Cheney Postmortem Shows The Lighter Side Of Gross Incompetence And Corruption…
  we hunted but never read 'october'

Tom Clancy Killed By Death At 66

Tom Clancy, the author of thrillers like The Hunt for Red October and Patriot Games, has died in a Baltimore hospital at the age of 66. The Hunt for Red October happened along at a perfect time for a technologically driven thriller about a rogue Soviet submarine captain; President Ronald Reagan called it “the perfect yarn” and “non-put-downable.” Clancy returned the favor, dedicating 1997’s Executive Orders “To Ronald Reagan, The Man Who Won the War.” Read more on Tom Clancy Killed By Death At 66…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Compendium Of Contemptible Contretemps

Happy Saturday, you slugabeds! As you blearily try to shake off the residue of last night’s revelries, pour yourself another cuppa joe and treat yourself to a serving of our weekly concatenation of clinking, clanking, caligenous junk from the interwebs that was too stoopid to ignore altogether but that didn’t quite merit a full-length post. And we’ll even start your descent into hell gently, with a bad-news story that’s got a Nice Times kicker. By now, you’ve probably heard that Guido Barilla, the chairman of Italy’s Barilla pasta proudly joined the asshat brigade last week with his vow that the company’s ads would never feature same-sex families: “I would never do (a commercial) with a homosexual family, not for lack of respect but because we don’t agree with them. Ours is a classic family where the woman plays a fundamental role … In the interview, Barilla said he opposed adoption by gay parents, but was in favour of allowing gay marriage, which is not legal in Italy. … If gays “like our pasta and our advertising, they’ll eat our pasta, if they don’t like it then they will not eat it and they will eat another brand,” he said. Pretty impressive how he manages to dismiss both gays and women in a single statement there. The inevitable agita and talk of boycotts ensued, and Barilla issued one of those “sorry if anyone was offended” not-pologies. So there’s that. Read more on Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Compendium Of Contemptible Contretemps…
  another confederacy of dunces

Kentucky Tea Party Will Murder Public Libraries, For Freedom

Score another WIN for Liberty! Residents of several Kentucky counties have been rescued from the tyranny of public libraries — or more specifically, from the tyranny of library boards being able to levy incremental increases in property taxes without an election being called every year or two. The details are buried in the boring particulars of a state law governing the funding of library districts, but the final score is: Homeowners will save a whopping average of $50 a year in property taxes, for FREEDOM. Oh, and the libraries will have their budgets slashed between 55 and 70 percent, effectively gutting them. But hey, LIBERTY!!!!! Read more on Kentucky Tea Party Will Murder Public Libraries, For Freedom…
  the rupert murdoch literary supplement

Nice Time: Fox News Accidentally Sends That Muslim’s Jesus Book To Number One

Yesterday, we were among the nine million blogs that couldn’t believe that insanely hostile interview on Fox in which Fox’s Lauren Green kept badgering author Reza Aslan to explain his audacious act of being both a Muslim and a person who wrote a book about Jebus. Well, here’s some nice news: now that the video has gone viral, sales of the book, Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth, have gone through the roof. The New York Times reports that Aslan’s publisher, Random House, says that sales have increased 35% in the two days following the video hitting the webospheres. We will just go out on a limb and guess that very few of those purchases came from Fox News viewers; the literate ones seem mostly to have been spamming the book’s reviews on Amazon. Read more on Nice Time: Fox News Accidentally Sends That Muslim’s Jesus Book To Number One…
  how'd the crescent moon get there huh?

Fox News Wants To Know Who Let Some Muslim Write A Jesus Book

Here is Fox News host Lauren Green doing what Fox News does best, channeling Fox News viewers’ mouth-breathing xenophobia into television programming. The lucky recipient is religious scholar Reza Aslan, author of Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth, which attempts to sort out some facts about a socialist sandal-wearing hippie Palestinian troublemaker who was executed by the Romans. It’s the kind of historical scholarship that gets done all the time in academe, but that can freak out the faithful. But the interview doesn’t even get to the content of the book; it’s all about the fact that Reza Aslan is a Muslim who (gasp!) wrote a book about Jesus. Is that even allowed? We’d bet that Lauren Green is not actually as heroically stupid as she appears to be here, asking again and again (ThinkProgress counted nine times in the full 10-minute interview) just why on earth a Muslim person would go and write a book about “the founder of Christianity.” We’ll give Aslan credit for not simply saying, “Don’t be silly. I wrote a book about Jesus, not about Saul of Tarsus.” Read more on Fox News Wants To Know Who Let Some Muslim Write A Jesus Book…
  wonkette world o' books

Wonkette Book Club: We Are All Gay For Rachel Maddow’s Book

One nice thing about writing for Yr Wonkette is that we don’t even have to pretend to hide our raging nerd-crush on Rachel Maddow, or pretend that we don’t just melt in fannish excitement when she acknowledges the existence of our little mommyblog — she’s called Wonkette “profane and excellent” on air…twice! (Squeee!) So we also won’t pretend that we weren’t already predisposed to like her book Drift: The Unmooring of American Military Power, published last year but newly released in paperback. But unlike so many books by TV/political people — even pretty good ones, like Al Franken’s Lies And the Lying Liars Who Tell Them — Drift isn’t just a series of riffs that make some excellent points while giving you some larffs. It’s a sustained argument about what’s gone haywire in America’s use of military power, with the kind of keen dot-connecting that works so well for Maddow in her on-air commentaries. And it starts with a dedication that you know is from the heart: “To former vice president Dick Cheney. Oh, please let me interview you.” Read more on Wonkette Book Club: We Are All Gay For Rachel Maddow’s Book…
  wonkette world o' books

Wonkette Book Club: This Al Capp Bio Is A First-Rate Book About A Real Jerk

When Kid Zoom was a wee lad of about 4, his favorite bedtime story for a while was Yr Doktor Zoom’s extemporaneous retelling of Charles Lindbergh’s transatlantic flight. No idea how we stumbled on that narrative as a bedtime story; maybe there was a hope that the part about Lindbergh barely being able to stay awake as he flew low over the waves might influence a hyper little boy (nahh). And then, of course, several years later, we had to revisit Lucky Lindy and talk about his less than heroic later years as a racist, anti-Semite, isolationist, and pal of the Nazis. Lesson learned: People can do impressive things and still be awful human beings. Which brings us to the impressive career of “Li’l Abner” creator and human trainwreck Al Capp, as covered by Michael Schumacher and Denis Kitchen in their biography Al Capp: A Life to the Contrary. This is the first full-scale biography of Capp, who died in 1979, and the decades since “Li’l Abner” was a daily newspaper feature give Schumacher and Kitchen a healthy distance to assess both Capp’s career as a creator of comics (yep, kind of a genius and definitely an innovator) and his character as a human being (“seriously flawed” might be too generous). Read more on Wonkette Book Club: This Al Capp Bio Is A First-Rate Book About A Real Jerk…
  wonkette world o' books

E-Book Review: Presidents Are Expensive. Why Won’t Obama Work For Free?

Conservatives have a hard time deciding what to find more shocking: the suspension of White House tours because of the sequester, or the insanely outrageous cost of having an Executive Mansion in the first place, especially if the hired help puts their unworthy feet up on the furniture. Today’s review looks at an e-book that falls in the latter camp, John F. Groom’s The 1.4 Billion Dollar Man: Costs of the Obama White House, which was actually published last September but continues to be fodder for whining by NRO and moronic speeches at CPAC, so we will call it “timely.” Make no mistake about it: this e-book is one terrible little waste of electrons. We mourn for the senseless slaughter of ones and zeroes that otherwise could have gone into a video of a cat jumping into a box. But since this thing exists, let’s give it the mockery it so richly deserves. Read more on E-Book Review: Presidents Are Expensive. Why Won’t Obama Work For Free?…
  palinspeak

Sarah Palin Wants You To Un-Commercialize Christmas By Buying Her Stupid Christmas Book

When the irrelevant get desperate, its time to fight straw-men, or things we put straws in, and what mythical enemy is more mythical than The War On Christmas! In a maniacal effort to appeal to the panic-stricken, anxiety-riddled, look-at-my-faith lording, self-pitying element of stupid white people upset about the blah President, Sarah Palin is now wrapping herself in the flagness of a Christmas book! It was already ridiculous when the Reason for the Season – making moneys! – expanded from its original post-Thanksgiving start date and crept all the way up to Halloween – so, how about March? Don’t we need to talk about a Christmas book in March? Read more on Sarah Palin Wants You To Un-Commercialize Christmas By Buying Her Stupid Christmas Book…
  wonkette world o' books

Serious Book Club Live Chat No Poop Jokes Allowed: The Arab Spring, Social Media, And Them Damn Twitters

Coming up at Noon, EST: Andy Carvin is joining us in the Sekrit Wonket Chatcave for a Livechat until he gets sick of our questions / poop jokes. Please leave your questions in the comments section; we will copy the best questions into our live chat, then bloog the answers below! One of the most dangerous things for a dictator, supposedly, is the free flow of information. That belief is certainly reinforced by Andy Carvin’s book Distant Witness: Social Media, the Arab Spring and a Journalism Revolution, an engaging and sometimes jaw-dropping record of how activists and ordinary citizens used social media technology to overthrow oppressive governments in several countries in the Middle East during 2010 and 2011. Carvin rejects the notion that these were “Twitter Revolutions,” because as with any revolution, it was the people who ultimately brought about change. But there’s little doubt that Facebook and Twitter provided the revolutionaries with tools that enabled them to organize and communicate more effectively with each other, and with the outside world. And somehow, in a surprising turn of events that American political figures may wish to study, the activists of the Arab Spring managed to make use of the new technologies without even once (as far as has been documented) forwarding racist cartoons or sending photos of their junk out to their followers. Read more on Serious Book Club Live Chat No Poop Jokes Allowed: The Arab Spring, Social Media, And Them Damn Twitters…
  wonkette world o' books

Wonkette Book Club Update: We’ve Scored A Livechat With Author, NPR Guy, And New Puppy Owner Andy Carvin

Just a quick reminder, Wonkeratti, that you have a bit over a week to get ahold of and read our Book Club’s first selection, Andy Carvin’s Distant Witness: Social Media, the Arab Spring and a Journalism Revolution. Carvin became something of an Interwebs phenomenon in 2010-11 when his familiarity with a number of prominent bloggers in Tunisia, Egypt, and Libya, his position as NPR’s Social Media director, and his mad Twitter skillz all combined to make him one of the main conduits of information between participants in the Arab Spring and the western media. In Distant Witness, he explores how new media helped people organize and communicate with each other and with the outside world; he also looks at some of the challenges involved in using social media as a form of journamalism. We’re pretty chuffed to announce that Andy Carvin has agreed to join Your Wonkette for a livechat — we’re still nailing down a day and time, but we think it will be early the week of March 4th, which gives you lucky bibliophiles a bit more time to grab and read a copy of the book. Not sure if you’ll have time to receive a dead-trees version, but the e-book is available for virtually any screen you already read Your Wonkette on. Read more on Wonkette Book Club Update: We’ve Scored A Livechat With Author, NPR Guy, And New Puppy Owner Andy Carvin…
  days of yore

Sources: America’s Sweetheart Monica Lewinsky To Open Wide, Tell All

Since it’s obvious that all honorable and well-compensated jobs have disappeared into a puff of Internet ether, never to return, it’s important that every American turn any brush with fame, no matter now ridiculous or humiliating, into a round of talk show appearances that can in turn be leveraged into an “instant book” and a reality show, since that’s the only route to financial solvency in America today. Monica Lewinsky had just such an ridiculous, humiliating brush with fame, but this was years ago, in the late ’90s, when the economy was great and you could still get jobs, so she never cashed in. But well, well, well, look who’s come crawling back to the publicity-horror machine and wants to write a book! Don’t worry, Monica, your timing is perfect, as Gen X needs cultural nostalgia objects to differentiate themselves from these young people who were born in, like, the late ’80s and yet are somehow old enough to be adults and have jobs and stuff. Read more on Sources: America’s Sweetheart Monica Lewinsky To Open Wide, Tell All…
  literary spats

American Literature Saved! Bin Laden Death Porn Displaces Actual Porn As #1 Best-Seller

If you ever want to weep bitter tears for the death of American good taste, just purchase a coach class domestic airline ticket and take a little trip across Real America. You will discover that literally dozens of your fellow airline passengers are openly reading 50 Shades Of Grey or its offshoots, a terribly written series of ostensibly erotic pamphlets that extol the virtues of S&M and straightfacedly present the word “argh” as an expression of erotic pleasure. These books originated as Twilight fan fiction but then had even that pleasure stripped from them before being published and becoming inexplicable worldwide best-sellers. But now, at least according to Amazon’s inscrutable book-ranking metrics, there’s a new timeless tale that Americans want to hear about: Osama bin Laden getting shot in the face by a bunch of Navy SEALs. Have we as a people finally decided that we prefer death to sex? Read more on American Literature Saved! Bin Laden Death Porn Displaces Actual Porn As #1 Best-Seller…
  america's favorite justices

Antonin Scalia Was Wrong To Uphold Everything, Will Now Destroy Everything

Only a day or several days or a week until the Supreme Court saves America from the scourge of universal health care… or doesn’t? What’s for sure is that Justice Antonin Scalia is going to vote against it like a motherfucker, because he is a Tea Party Republican. You may recall how our nation’s foremost legal experts for years had been suggesting that Scalia would vote to uphold based on precedent and his past rulings in favor of an expansive reading of the Commerce Clause. For Scalia now to vote against ObamaCare would mean that he’s completely changed his mind and now rejects 70 years’ of court rulings. And look at this: Scalia has a book coming out in which he says he’s completely changed his mind and now rejects 70 years’ of court rulings! Read more on Antonin Scalia Was Wrong To Uphold Everything, Will Now Destroy Everything…
  just wing it baby

Pothead Obama’s Five Tips For Good Pothead Writing

Yahoo has published more excerpts from David Maraniss’ Barack Obama: The Story, mostly about how much he loved getting drunk and high and drag racing and then getting high again, while writing gay letters to ladies. Grow up, Obama of 30-35 years ago! But Maraniss was also able to get his hands on a list of writing tips Obama once sent a friend whose manuscript he’d overlooked. Just who does this elitist think he is, an elitist? It’s not like Bill Ayers needed any of Obama’s “tips” to write Dreams from My Father. Read more on Pothead Obama’s Five Tips For Good Pothead Writing…