From All Puerto Ricans: F*ck You, Tony Hinchcliffe!

A measured response.

This is the space where I normally write pithy comments about pube-bearded JD Vance’s stupid appearances on the Sunday shows. But as fate would have it, I am spared one horror to address another. As Wonkette’s resident Puerto Rican writer, there are some things that I am uniquely suited for.

So, let’s address one of the “highlights” of Donald Trump’s Nazi Madison Square Garden rally remake: “comedian” Tony Hinchcliffe.

The “joke” for posterity:

HINCHCLIFFE: It is absolutely wild times. It really, really is. Don’t know if you guys know this. There’s literally a floating island of garbage in the middle of the ocean right now. I think it’s called Puerto Rico.

It wasn’t the only racist “joke” Hinchcliffe said during his set, in case some want to claim this was a singular moment.

HINCHCLIFFE: These Latinos they love making babies, too. Just know that. There’s no pulling out. They don’t do that. They come inside…just like they did to our country.

And:

HINCHCLIFFE: It’s a cool Black guy with a thing on his head. What the hell is that? A lampshade? Look at this guy! Oh my goodness … wow. I’m just kidding. That’s one of my buddies. He had a Halloween party last night. We had fun. We carved watermelons together.

For those not terminally online and unfamiliar with Tony Hinchcliffe, he hosts a podcast called “Kill Tony.”

Actual comedian Katt Williams contextualized who Hinchcliffe is on his infamous “Club Shay Shay” appearance with Shannon Sharpe, noting that he’s one of “six comedians that never been funny” that Joe Rogan likes to promote. Hinchcliffe is a meteor of mediocrity orbiting around the moon of failing upwards that is Rogan. His “career” is basically kissing Rogan’s ass and making low effort “I’m the victim of ‘Cancel Culture’ comedy” specials.

In 2021, Tony Hinchcliffe got “canceled” for this “joke”.

But as anyone with any understanding of white supremacy and history can guess, Hinchcliffe was not only not “canceled” but rewarded for his overt racism. He admitted as much months ago.

There is always an eager audience for people who cater to hate and racism. Clearly, Trump has made it his whole political career and specifically chose to mirror the 1939 Nazi Madison Square Garden Rally as his magnum opus. His apartheid minister of miscommunication got the hint and signaled to his online white supremacists that very meaning prior to the rally.

In response to Hinchcliffe’s “joke,” Republicans vacillated between glee …

… and panic for those in states with large population of Puerto Ricans like Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Georgia and Florida, that HAVE YET TO VOTE! Florida politicians are especially freaking out:

Puerto Rico’s sole non-voting member of Congress (thanks, colonialism!), Jenniffer González-Colón, also issued a statement, while trying to wash out the stain of being a Republican who has endorsed Trump and his party of hate.

The Trump campaign also quickly rushed out a statement attributed to campaign adviser Daniella Alvarez, saying the “joke does not reflect the views of President Trump or the campaign.” Clearly they hoped that would cover the massive shit they took on Puerto Rican people.

Hinchcliffe, for his part, seems to be using the old “it was a joke” defense that racists use as a shield when called on their bullshit. Governor Tim Walz and Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez happened to be live together last night and reacted in real time. It’s worth watching.

Hinchcliffe reacted to that:

Few things:

1. It wasn’t taken out of context.

2. Being racist toward other ethnicities doesn’t make it any better. Being an “equal opportunity” bigot doesn’t change or make a person less of a bigot.

3. Hinchcliffe has spoken about his connections to the mob and Italian food on podcasts, which reminds me of how he’s a textbook example of the nebulousness of being “white.” Not very long ago, it was his very ancestors who were seen as “floating garbage” as they arrived on Ellis Island, New York, seeking a better life for their children. And now he gets to spew this shit before massive crowds of racists while Santa Monica fascist Stephen Miller declares that “America is for Americans and Americans only.”

4. Hinchcliffe may want to seek an alternate future vacation spot. From now until, say, the heat death of the universe.

I’ll conclude with this clip of comedian Anthony Jeselnik, no stranger to dark comedy and roasts, basically summarizing why Tony Hinchcliffe’s “comedic art” failed.

JESELNIK: There’s this quote attributed to Andy Warhol that I love: “Art is getting away with it.” You know if you put out a special and everyone’s pissed, you didn’t get away with it. You need to make everyone laugh […] otherwise you’re just a troll.

Judging by the deafening silence, even from Trump’s MAGA Nazi audience, Hinchcliffe’s joke failed.

I hope my fellow Boricuas everywhere show Hinchcliffe, Trump and the Republican Party just how much they didn’t get away with it at the polls on November 5.

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