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If you are a liberal in America right now, you have probably spent the entire day laughing with your friends over glasses of kale juice and buckets of raw, unseasoned arugula, about how Melania Trump is A Idiot who can’t even sound out the Lord’s Prayer with her Not American mouth. OR MAYBE it has been driving you LITERALLY INSANE that Melania even said the Lord’s Prayer, because oh man, liberals just go CRAZY when somebody mentions the Lord! Take that, feminazis and libtards, there’s a new sheriff in town, and his name is Jesus, and Melania Trump can pray at him all she wants! And afterward, all the people will clap and cheer, as Christians usually do at the conclusion of the Lord’s Prayer.

Wait, you did not do that? That’ll be news to convicted felon Dinesh D’Souza and deadbeat dad former congressman Joe Walsh!

So, Melania read the Lord’s Prayer at the little Nuremberg rally her husband Pussgrab threw in Melbourne, Florida, and it was obvious she doesn’t really know it, at least not in English, which is surprising because she’s lived in America for 20 years and the Trumps have such a long history as active Christians. Here, watch it, so we can be terrible liberals and mock it and GET OUTRAGED!

Here are the two thoughts we have about this:

1. It’s true, Melania struggles through it. Maybe she’s never heard it before, but honestly, we don’t fucking care.

2. The FUNNY part of this video is watching Donald Trump pretending to mouth the words, as if he, Two Corinthians-addicted Jesus Freak that he is, actually knows the prayer. Seriously, watch his face, because he is basically doing “WATERMELON WATERMELON WATERMELON.”

Dinesh D’Souza, who is not in jail right now, has a different take:

Is … that what that was? And ARE WE SPUTTERING RIGHT NOW? Clearly it’s so very in-your-face, in a nation where the majority of people are Christian, to say the Lord’s Prayer, but are we SPUTTERING? Did we all stop drinking cocktails at brunch while having gay sex in public this weekend because we were SO ANGRY?

And really, no other first lady has ever done anything so bold? Do we not all remember how Hillary Clinton had everybody murdered with her Whitewater emails back in the 1990s? We think that was more bolder for sure! Oh and also, as Wonkette alum Gary Legum points out on Twitter, Michelle Obama planted vegetables, which definitely made Trans-Fat-American wingnuts “sputter.” And don’t get us started on Nancy Reagan’s allegedly very bold blowjobs!

Let’s look at Joe Walsh’s thing and see if it’s stupider than D’Souza’s:

We’re convinced! The Fox News link in Walsh’s first tweet is here, and surprise, it is a few randos on Twitter saying snarky things. FEEL THE OUTRAGE! Twitchy appears to have assigned at least six and a half of its NINE PAID STAFFERS to find other randos being mean on Twitter. The stupidest man on the internet, Jim Hoft, also reported that liberals were “TRIGGERED AND OUTRAGED” by Melania’s praying. Personally, we, yr rabid frothing liberals, didn’t even hear about this until these two dorks started whining about it:

Dinesh? Joseph? Stop being such fucking pussies. A few people on the internet tweeted some things, some of them pointing out that Melania was totally pandering, since we’re all pretty sure the Trumps, who were sent by baby Jesus to save America, are not remotely Christian people. This is a valid observation! Sorry if it hurts to hear it, but we highly doubt either Donald or Melania actually gives one solitary fuck about Jesus. And we are saying that without sputtering or outrage! We may be smirking just a little bit, because we are total dicks.

But that’s it, you sad crybaby pube gremlins.

(But seriously, watch the video. Donald Trump mouthing “bing bong!” and “grab them by the pussy,” or WHATEVER he’s doing with his mouth during the Lord’s Prayer, is funny as shit.)

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  • Michael R
    • Weevie

      And that’s why the British don’t want Turnip anywhere near the Royal Carriage. He’ll steal it!

    • Anna Rompage

      She should have put that poor child in a reed raft and sent it down the Hudson…

    • WotsAllThisThen

      There’s a woman who isn’t afraid of coal mines poisoning the water supply.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    It’s true, Melania struggles through it. Maybe she’s never heard it before, but honestly, we don’t fucking care.

    Actually, I thought she was OK considering English isn’t her first language. I’m much more concerned about her husband’s inability to follow the Biblical imperative to have love and compassion FFS.

    • Yeah, she did fine. King James Version English causes more than a few native English speakers to falter.

  • msanthropesmr

    This is the stupidest shit I have heard all day.

    • onedollarjuana

      Yes, but these guys need to stay in the news! Otherwise they wither and blow away like that woman from Alaska.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        What woman in Alaska?

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    What Trump lacks in style he makes up in STUPIDITY.

    • Ill-Advised

      Wait, what? I was reliably informed that stupidity was “in” this season, except for those already in despair.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    I was totes inspired when she said, “Blessed are the cheesemakers.”

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      Is WisconSIN a very red state?

      • mancityRed6

        Paul Ryan and Scott Walker? I’m going with “yes”

        • Gabby Parsons

          Not really. We are a very Gerrymandered state.

      • Weevie

        Yes and MN hates them at this point. Trump promised WI Harley wouldn’t bleed jobs. Not sure what Davidson promised.

  • Nounverb911

    I would have imagined that this would be Melania’s favorite prayer:

    Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
    My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends.
    Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
    So Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?

    Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a color TV ?
    Dialing For Dollars is trying to find me.
    I wait for delivery each day until three,
    So oh Lord, won’t you buy me a color TV ?

    Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a night on the town ?
    I’m counting on you, Lord, please don’t let me down.
    Prove that you love me and buy the next round,
    Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a night on the town ?

    Everybody!
    Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
    My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends,
    Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
    So oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?

    That’s it!

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I love that song! Um, prayer. I meant prayer.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Psalm. Kinda covers both.

  • boyblue123

    Did anyone else see the clip of Melania flinch when Drumpf touches her as he comes on to the stage

    https://twitter.com/TheDweck/status/833170087846621185

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Can’t say I blame her.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I’ve seen cows more cozy rubbing up against a electric fence than that.

      • Weevie

        Ooooh that feels good. Bzzt! Bzzt! Yes, good good! Moooooo!

    • laughingnome

      Looks like he squeezes her with that tiny hand.

    • elviouslyqueer

      “Ugh, I have to kiss that disgusting carp-mouth.”

    • Sophia

      Okay so they have a couple of guys that are black right behind holding “Blacks for Trump” signs but if you look behind them, it’s a bunch of white guys holding those signs. I notice that a lot more than I notice her stumbling

      • proudgrampa

        Paid demonstrators, obviously.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      His hands are probably freezing from excessive hand sanitizer.

    • A_Changeling

      I don’t think it was part of the deal that she’d have to pretend to like him. In their normal circles people know that she’s just a prop whose emotions don’t matter.

    • handyhippie65

      she has just captured the sentiment of the majority on americans.

  • memzilla Ω

    Why didn’t she pray for her husband to get a better tailor?

    • Oblios_Cap

      And a better hairstyle. And bigger hands. And a bigger dong.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Clearly it’s so very in-your-face, in a nation where the majority of people are Christian, to say the Lord’s Prayer, but are we SPUTTERING? Did we all stop drinking cocktails at brunch while having gay sex in public this weekend because we were SO ANGRY?

    Seriously–this is just another attempt by the wingnuts to accuse liberals of doing something we didn’t even do (as a group–there might have been a random tweet or two making fun of Melania, but not in my Twitter feed. Thanks, righties, but we’ve got more important things to worry about…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/df951dbbceef7fb8c487beb275f6d06746710e0c11a06ee15bc049972426529c.jpg

    • Weevie

      Our Editrix wasn’t sputtering.

      • Bmaccnm

        Over cocktails, my girlfriends and I did sputter a little about the extent of abuse in the Trump-Trump relationship. Definitely verbal, probably emotional. Physical???

        • Bmaccnm

          I’ll bet there’s a fair amount of abuse coming to Melania from the exalted spawn, also, too.

  • SayItWithWookies

    This is just cover for the evangelicals being all disappointed that Melon just went and recited a prayer. Everyone knows that if you really love The LORD, you get up there and wing it, and extra points for saying that Jesus is the only route to salvation, that gays and abortion-havers are going straight to hell, and begging His LORDness to save us all from hippie multiculturalism and birth control.

    • Jamoche

      You’ve also got to say “Lord” every place where you put a comma.

      • cmd resistor

        Or you can sub “Father God” for that. That seems to be a more recent thing, as I don’t remember it from kid church days.

        • Jamoche

          New to me too – guess some people are pissed at the new trend to not use any gender pronouns for God; all the “hims” in the songs become just “God”.

          • cmd resistor

            I once took my parents to a libtard religious event and they were highly offended that someone led the Lord’s Prayer starting with “Our Parent.” God forbid it had been an even more radical person doing an “our Mother” version.

          • BearDeLaOursistance

            Not even willing to ascribe specific genitalia to an abstract supernatural being? What kind of soft, weak world are we living in?!?!?1?

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            It’s fun to ask a fundie mental if God has a dick, and if so, why?

          • BearDeLaOursistance

            He’s got several. Pat Robertson, Jack van Impe, Franklin Graham…

          • Groundloop

            If I were a Horrible Heathen™ I’d say it was so that “He” could lay the pipe to Mother Nature, but I’m far too pious to even think of something so sacrilegious.

        • elviouslyqueer

          FYI, it’s pronounced “Fath-uh GAWD.”

      • elviouslyqueer

        Ah, so I see that you’ve been to “Sunday brunch” at every Cracker Barrel in the South.

    • Sophia

      Supposed to take a good 15-20 minutes at the least also too

  • Oh, but they live in an alternate world where American Christians are persecuted constantly and face jail for following Jesus by angry Satanic liberals and demon-possessed feminists and atheists with their stupid science.

    • mancityRed6

      I’m not saying I’d want to live there, but it would make a change of pace from the usual.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Well, at least they know they’re free….

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Pretty sure that if you piece together the places she stumbled and read them backwards, she is asking to be rescued from her captors.

    • Weevie

      That’s the only logical explanation!

  • Weevie

    I played it over and over and she said “Hallow be thy knee.” English as a second language or not, respect demands you learn what a prayer sounds like, if not how to say it right.
    Where’s PopeDude?

    • laughingnome

      Sounds like a diagnosis for an acl tear.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Indeed. I’m not going to greet my Muslim neighbors with bumbling murmurs about “ass salami”.

  • Blanche Beecham

    Joe Walsh needs to crawl back under his rock.

    • elviouslyqueer

      And pay up his child support arrears, also too.

    • Ryan Denniston

      And pay up!

  • Jamoche

    Can we get the Bad Lip Readers on both of them?

  • Anna Rompage

    I’m kind of shocked at how small and unimpressive the crowd is at that rally, especially since they were giving out free gifts and cash vouches for those who attended..

    • Lance Thrustwell

      It’s nothing compared to $oro$ Buck$!

    • Ryan Denniston

      Doesn’t the hangar hold 15k? I seem to remember reading that.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Not cash . . . vouchers. Good for anything in Ivanka’s line, or any Trump wine.

    • Sophia

      Count I saw from the police was 9000 people. Not sure if that number included protesters

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Give us this day, our daily grift.

    • PubOption

      For mine is the kingdom, the power and the glory.
      D. Trump version.

  • elviouslyqueer

    I’m sorry*, but Cheeto Satan literally looks like a rabid baboon stuffed into an ill-fitting sportcoat. What a total embarrassing slob.

    *Which is to say, not a goddamned bit sorry.

    • mancityRed6

      What? It’s part of his new “presidential” line.

      • elviouslyqueer

        “Rabid Baboon” by Trump. Exclusively at Kohl’s and Goodwill Outlet.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Coming soon to a Marshall’s bin near you.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            But not at Overstock.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Does Islam have a version of the Lord’s Prayer?

    Why, yes. Yes, it does:

    Praise be to Allah
    The Cherisher and Sustainer of the Worlds
    Most Gracious , Most Merciful
    Master of the day of judgement

    Thee do we worship and Thine aid we seek
    Show us the straight way;
    The way of those on whom Thou hast bestowed Thy Grace
    Those whose (portion) is not wrath
    And who go not astray.

    Darned! Seems like a pretty decent prayer.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I am actually doing a little bit of sputtering, and not just because I’ve been looking at college wrestlers. I’m kind of sick of all this praying stuff.

    • Anna Rompage

      You should have heard me calling out the name of the lord yesterday while I was assuming the holiest position of the missionary…

      Oh lord, yes, yes yes,
      fill me with your love
      oh fuck yes, right there
      don’t stop
      Oh God!
      oh lord YES YES YES!

  • A_Changeling

    I didn’t think I’d see the first godless US president in my lifetime.

    • Bebecca

      Fortunately for us true godless people, he claims to be a Christian. We don’t want him.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    The 4th or 5th wife is always the best one.

    • o’look Skwerl!

      Jane Seymour libelz!

  • Oblios_Cap

    I was more offended by Donald smirking and moving around during the whole thing instead of standing with head bowed than by anything his wife did.

    • cmd resistor

      I didn’t see the prayer. I did see him walking ahead of her down the steps from AF One, and zipping into the waiting car door nearest him, forcing her to go around and get in from the other side.

    • Roadstergal

      He’s incapable of just shutting the fuck up and not being the center of attention for two minutes. Like a toddler.

  • Reximus

    Melania, blink two times if you’re being held hostage

    • Bitter Scribe

      Is there enough loose skin on her face to allow her to blink that many times?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        She’s two facelifts away from having a goatee.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    I, of course, am outraged by anyone saying anything vaguely Christian, especially our leaders, because I am a baby-eating Satanist who wants to destroy America and drag everyone down into a pool of hedonistic libertine abandon.*

    *Parts of this are not true.

    • Creepoman

      Sign me up.

    • GoutMachine

      I’d like to subscribe to your newsletter.

    • handyhippie65

      that’s sounds like a party! is there an open bar?

  • Michael R

    in addition to her native Slovenian, Melania Trump
    speaks four other languages:
    English, French, Serbian and German.

    https://s2.postimg.org/a1j9wq87d/melania_so_many_stuff.jpg

    • Steven

      but none of them well

    • The Wanderer

      And can’t say “No” in any of them.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      All she needed to learn was “Donald. Wallet?” , right?

    • Brendan_M

      So between her and Donald, they speak five and a half languages? Impressive.

      • PubOption

        Donnie is fluent in Rubbish.

  • JohnE_o

    Convicted felon trying very hard to be relevant says what?

  • Uhhh, I am an atheist and basically a communist who would have been complaining on Day 1 of a President Kucinich administration that he was too far to the right, and I a) did not even know Melon recited a Jesus Whisper at the NurembergIMeanMelbourne Rally, and b) do not give a fart in a hurricane now that I do know. I’m basically just so relieved that President Bannon did not use the rally to gin up a Reichstag Fire that everything else about it has kind of gone over my head.

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      Denny libelz!!!!!!!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    FWIW, the Lord’s Prayer does fail the SCOTUS “Ceremonial Deism” test by being explicitly Christian, not that that whole thing idea isn’t just a loin cloth for Christianism anyway.

    • BosGrl

      As read, also explicitly Protestant.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Per Justice William Brennan Jr., “ceremonial deism” is protected from Establishment Clause scrutiny chiefly because it has “lost through rote repetition any significant religious content.”

      I think that applies to the Lord’s Prayer, at least when recited by any of the Trump clan.

  • Sophia

    I can understand stumbling while public speaking if you are not use to it. What I can’t understand is not listening to the words that you a saying.

    AND FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO TRESPASS AGAINST US:

    Forgiveness is the fundamental condition of the reconciliation of the children of God with their Father and of humans with one another: “so also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart” (Mt 18:23-35). With the example and help of Christ every Christian can forgive even his/her enemies (CCC 2842, 2844).

    • blueeyedcuban

      Didn’t Donnie start right off forgiving his enemies?

      • Sophia

        Still hunting them down in the WH and firing them I heard.

    • Weevie

      Turn the other cheek hasn’t worked.

      • TheAmazingAmateurHousekeeper

        I don’t think the Bible is referring to that other cheek.

    • cmd resistor

      There’s that other version where it is Forgive us our Debts, which I guess is kind of like bankruptcy court.

  • Ryan Denniston

    This is nothing more than projection. Wingers perceive yet another screw up from this administration and project their insecurities onto all of us.

  • rocktonsam

    Melon read whats Michelle Obama wrotes

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    “In your face” is literally what Jesus says not to do in the three previous verses before the start of the prayer in verse nine.

    • Sophia

      ^^^This Too^^^^

  • Latverian Diplomat

    To be fair, “thy” and “trespasses” are tough words for an ESL person, and she’s spent all of her practice time this week working on “emollients/emoluments”.

    • Sister the Resister

      I love a good lotion with nice high quality emollients myself…

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Expensive caviar can be both an emollient and emolument, apparently

    • A_Changeling

      If I recall, “thou, thee, thy” were originally used in the Bible in relation to God because they were more intimate than “ye, you, your” (like in French tu=familiar, vous=polite) – but these days people think they’re more elevated/respectful. Am I right?

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        King James thought so…

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Yes, also too it’s straight out of the KJV, which some conservative Protestants still hold to be the one true translation.

  • Bitter Scribe

    So she has a heavy accent. BFD.

    OTOH, that tweet about how this time she plagiarized the Bible was pretty funny.

  • BosGrl

    What, no outrage over praying in a sleeveless dress, or was the absence of sleeves on dresses reserved for Michelle Obama?

    • Kurn

      I think we already know the answer to that

  • o’look Skwerl!

    Super Secret National Security Information to be Held from Stupid Public:

    Trump’s aides don’t want to admit the President is golfing

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/02/20/politics/donald-trump-golfing-presidency/index.html

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      They don’t want to admit to it, because he knows he tweeted about Obamas golf games a hundred bazillion times. He can’t delete the Twitter…muwahahahaha

    • mancityRed6

      This is what’s really going to piss tRump off:
      “The professional golfer said Trump “shot around 80″ through 18 holes, eight strokes above the course’s par 72 layout.”

      That bastard! He knows I shot a 63!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      He campaigned on a promise to sign executive orders and play golf. Or did I misunderstand?

  • Roadstergal
    • hendenburg2

      Still doesn’t hold a candle to Prairie Home Companion’s Cruise Ship Non-denominational Lord’s Prayer: “Our someone, who art somewhere, hallowed be thy name (or names)…”

    • Weevie

      I could only bear a the first part of Melania’s prayer thing, but if she left out “kingdom, power and glory…” they haven’t been near church in decades. The catholic and protestant version have been the same for a looong time.

      • Sophia

        I didn’t know that. She did the “kingdom, power and glory” part

  • rocktonsam

    money changers in the tent libelz

    • snark-lurker

      shouting prayers at the street corner

  • cmd resistor

    So I wouldn’t have thought to make fun of her for her accent, and I’m assuming it wasn’t probably her idea in the first place. But yes, we libtards are mean like that, haters that we are. But I am somewhat perplexed by her sometimes twitter hashtag #powerof the First Lady, or something like that. Just strange.

  • The Wanderer

    If a tree falls in the forest, would Walsh and D’Souza still be gibbering twatwaffled whoretortoises?

    • Oblios_Cap

      Yes

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      A better question is, “If a tree falls in the forest, why didn’t you shove Dinesh D’Souza under it?”

  • Michael R

    Joe Walsh says :
    If Donald Trump is AGAINST stabbing babies ,
    the media and the left is FOR stabbing babies .

    Yoko Ono goes …

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxWVI7pxn98&t=0m28s

    • BosGrl

      Too modern if it doesn’t have a string!

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      That’s a pretty big “if”.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I’m shocked, triggered, and sputtering that Evan would suggest that a man who literally worships gold, and his Eastern European, soft core porn actress, third wife (that he cheated on while she was pregnant), aren’t true Christians. I am OUTRAGED!!!!!

    • Martini Ambassador

      Right? It’s almost as if the existence of God was just disproven, since neither of them was struck down into smoundering ash by divine lightning at the blatant pandering hypocrisy.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        And the religious leaders all said, “What’s that Lord? You want me to take everyone’s money and crush my enemies? Okay if you insist…”

      • Truck Fump

        And he had eleventymillion Rs running against him that were CHOSEN by Gawd to run.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Sarah Palin in 2008 “God will choose the right person to run the country.” Sarah Palin on November 9th, 2007 “a Kenyan, socialist Muslim is now destroying the country from within.” These religious folk don’t have too much confidence in their god’s decisions.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        80% of Evangelicals voted for this cretin – so long moral high road.

        I’m pretty sure the Bible is lousy with references to people who love gold and worship false idols. It also says a few things about helping the poor.

        • Roadstergal

          Evangelicals were very unhappy with Obama, who was, on paper, a perfect representation of their values. Honest, monogamous, straight, married, two kids, no scandals (sex or otherwise).

          Hypofuckingcrites.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Better than them in every way . . . and black. It’s why they hated him.

          • Cristinaknaranjo

            Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !mj436:
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !mj436:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash436HomeGreenGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!mj436:….,….

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Note that Donny wasn’t taking any chances, and had Malaria read it.

  • A_Changeling
    • BosGrl

      We’re like the neighbor nobody bothers to call on anymore for donations to Easter Seals.

      • Sister the Resister

        well, that’s depressing, but I think you’re on to a sad something there

        • ViveLaPersistence

          Pretty soon we’ll be like that guy who lives one street over and who’s rumored to put razor blades in the Halloween candy.

          • BosGrl

            We’re certainly the house everyone is now avoiding!

          • Sister the Resister

            But.. but… IT WASN’T US!!! WE DIDN’T DO IT!! BOO RADLEY LIBULZ!!!!

          • QHarp, Mujer malévola

            The UN will send warning postcards to all our neighbors, and Mexico will call up Canada like, ‘Did you see? I told you not to let Justin go over there.’

      • Weevie

        US, China and Russia can keep the world together or not. I guess we chose NOT.

    • A_Changeling

      Sweden, Denmark, Belgium, Luxembourg, Finland, Canada and Cape Verde(!) are on it too.

      • Biff52

        And now I want to move to Cape Verde.

      • LucindathePook

        Sweden should use the money to help the victims of the Swedish whatever massacree.

        • spacecat in space

          RIP, victims of the Böwlïng Grëën, Sweden, Massacre. 😔 #neverforgetwhatneverhappened

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Meh, didn’t know, don’t care. We got honest-to-God battles to fight. No time for this.

    • eka

      question is, what is this drama trying distract from? or how many actual things?

  • BosGrl

    Really, the funny part is noting that she had to read it and Drumpf
    doesn’t know the damned thing at all. The Religious Right (TM) will
    excuse it in their brains but they will notice it.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I’ve learned to take these things one Corinthian at a time.

      • Anna Rompage

        oh, soft Corinthian leather…

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vsg97bxuJnc

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          I always did wonder about St. Paul. Jesus had a reason for choosing St. Peter.

      • mardam422

        I think we need better Corinthians.

      • QHarp, Mujer malévola

        Isn’t that a Johnny Cash song? Where he’s working at the bible factory and he decides to get himself a bible by smuggling it out in his lunchbox one Corinthian at a time?

  • MOG253

    Who cares? She can pray all she wants, Drumpf won’t go away.

    • Nounverb911

      Well, just as long as they sleep in separate states…

  • goonemeritus

    Straw men can be so mean sometimes.

  • blueeyedcuban

    what’s the problem? .. She read it (semi) perfectly!

  • sadboy

    Didn’t even notice Melania. I was looking at all the BlacksForTrump2020.com signs. I understand that group is run by a former apocalyptic death cult leader who stabbed some guy in the eye. Still, good to see that these rallys are not attracting any of those violent types.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i looked up the website, it’s derp-tastic.

    • boyblue123

      That website looks like it was created back in the days when everyone received those AOL disks in the mail

  • Nounverb911
  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    I watched the vid – I notice he literally can’t keep his eyes closed, he tries, several times, but keeps popping them up to see the adoring crowd.

    Also, noitce the timing, he doesn’t start reciting it until juuuust after the camera starts to pick up the crowd around him saying it.

    FAKE!

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      He seemed to remember the “daily bread” & “evil” parts though…

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        I like bread daily, tremendous bread eater, nobody love bread more htan me, believe me!

        • cmd resistor

          Don’t forget those little Jesus crackers.

  • rocktonsam

    the sad thing is Melon will be in Penthouse before $arah unless Donald’s will be done.

  • MeerkatsRMammals

    This was nothing more than him bringing Melon out for show because everyone’s been complaining that she’s not around as much. As someone who went to Catholic school, this prayer is beaten into your brains. Many years later, and haven’t set foot in church in many years also – I still know the prayer. This does in fact prove they’re bad at being Christians. Many other things have proven that too, but this is certainly the cherry on top.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      he seemed to get the ending, I’m convinced he was doing that thing where he tries to take the cue from what the crowd is saying…but he did get last two sentences.

      • Sardonicuss

        Peas and carrots..peas and carrots…peas and carrots.

    • Roadstergal

      I’m an atheist who was raised Quaker, and I could still belt out both versions on cue. It’s almost like we live in an overtly Christian nation. :

      • cmd resistor

        And dang it, just reading this story is making the song of it run through my head.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Glad you decided to join us on the dark side!

    • cmd resistor

      Right, they probably said, hey, wouldn’t it be great if Melania did a prayer and she said she knew that one (even if in another language). I didn’t even go to Catholic school and wasn’t even catholic but if you were taken to church most every Sunday plus holidays, yeah, you pretty much can recite it now.

      • Sophia

        Catholics shorten the prayer. That wouldn’t play in Poughkeepsie

    • Finnabar87

      Heck, this lapsed Methodist also knows the darn thing.

      And anyone who ever went to a 12 step group? They, too know it, even the Hebraic and Muslim attendees. Yes, Jews and Muslims can be addicts; it’s an equal op sort of thing, really. Their families may attend Al-Anon, and say it was well.

  • Sardonicuss

    Another horror to add to the list of the 44.5 admin:
    D’snesh D’snusa is still alive and able to barely articulate his crazed thoughts to the world. You failed us Obama. You could have had him black sited like he always said you would.

    • Sophia

      I think someone called him from the deep. He hasn’t been heard from and then someone on here mentioned him this morning.

    • GoutMachine

      I’m still waiting for Obama to take all their guns away.

      • Roadstergal

        I could not be more disappointed that Obama did not do any of the things the Right freaked out about.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I was promised death panels, dammit!

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Runway Model Plagiarizes Lord’s Prayer; Insufferable Shitgibbon In Bad Orange Dye Job Mouths Parody Next To Her…

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      See, now THAT is comedy. Unintentional comedy, but comedy it is.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    The fact that Joe Isuzu thinks we supposed to be making fun of this just proves that conservatives know nothing about comedy. The first lady saying a prayer isn’t comedy. Donald saying something about Sweden, that’s comedy.

  • Sophia

    Totally OT: Watching Priebus on CNN. Guy looks like his neck is disappearing. Has he always looked that way or is he assuming the defensive posture of hunching his shoulder up?

  • Michael R

    Compare poor poor Melania’s plight to these comments
    from when Breitbart did a story on Harambe the gorilla last year …

    ( you might have to open this in a separate window to be able to read them )

    https://s9.postimg.org/z3jn7nn5r/breitbart_harambe_racism_w.jpg

    • BosGrl

      People make me vomit.

      • Weevie

        I lived in Cincinnati for over a decade.
        It’s old, old, old and crusty, crusty, crusty.
        Our kids would be dumb, dumb, dumb if we’d stayed there.
        Harambe was a tragedy. Nothing was done right.
        Oh, Breitbart sucks loudly.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        It makes me want to vomit that the owner of this Breitbart rag is now consigliere to the president of the US.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      Such lovely, lovely people. And we’re supposed to be considerate of them, remember?

      • Biff52

        They can’t for the life of them understand our intolerance of their intolerance.

        • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

          I know! We’re so MEAN when we refuse to put up with their racism, bigotry, misogyny, ignorance, xenophobia, and hatred.

  • Biff52
  • Vincent Ricola

    Personally, I laugh every time a politician or their spouse recites the Lord’s Prayer in a public setting. But I’m an asshole liberal so ¯_(ツ)_/¯

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_yBhqoOFqU

  • ViveLaPersistence

    The only words Trump appeared to know were “power” and “glory.”

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Good thing they gave her the Protestant version. He’d have been shit out of luck with the Catholic text.

      • LucindathePook

        Shoulda done it in Latin.

  • MAZS

    Well at least Dinesh doesn’t have to be embarrassed “debating” Hitchens about religion anymore.

  • Panika MCD

    from what I saw on that video, Melania seemed to know more of it than Tsarina Von Clownstick did. so she had to read it. who cares?

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Nobody. That’s the point.

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend
    • shaar dula

      Trump has NO awareness of what modern civilization is about. He has NO idea why somethings are the way they are. From Obama to Trump is like going from a 2000 year transition from Gargya Balaki/Yagnavalkya/Buddha to Bikram within a decade.

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        Isn’t it more like de-evolving from man to some kind of crawling fish creature?

        • handyhippie65

          further back to pond scum.

          • spacecat in space

            Pond scum libel!!1!

  • shaar dula

    ok that guy up top and who shall not be named, lest he gain unnecessary publicity due to an algorithmic bot, IS A PIECE OF SHIT He’s a parasite, a leech and a brown-noser. He is a waste of human life.

  • Painter of Goats

    Dampnut looks like my 4 year old granddaughter glossing over the lyrics to the Sound of Music.

    • Vincent Ricola

      I do this when I try to rap along with the radio in my car, it’s the old “turn to look out the window when you no longer know the words” move.

  • Fartknocker

    Did Team Dampnut forget to plug in the teleprompter? The Kenyan Usurper always used a teleprompter – ALWAYS!!!

  • Finnabar87

    The tackiest First Couple Evah.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    But the apple pie was rotten…

  • Paperless Tiger

    Donald Trump mouthing “bing bong!”

    Pretty sure he was mouthing “billions” and praying for Rosneft.

    • Reximus

      Atlanta Teenager: What kinda music you listen to?

      Borat: I like-a very much Korki Buchek. You know Korki Buchek?
      Bing bong bing-bong-bing, dl-dl-ding-ding *click* *click* *click-click*,
      bing bong bing-bong-bing, dl-dl-ding-ding *click* *click*…

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        Oh my god that was SO FUCKING FUNNY, what balls Sasha has! The only other time I’ve seen an entire movie audience scream with laughter till their sides hurt was at the Mr. Creosote scene….

  • zind

    mumble mumble mumble POWER AND GLORY

    At least he got to some words he knew.

    EDIT: oops I wasn’t the first one to make this joke oh well :x

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    “Klaatu, barada, nikzhthzh. Okay, then.”

    • Sardonicuss

      Paz the meat, time to eat. Abracadabra.

    • Weevie

      A little A1 for me please!

    • LucindathePook

      hasa diga eebowai

  • Reality Kills

    Impeaching Donnie yet? Check his mental state.

  • Anna Rompage

    Our Father in heaven,
    hallowed be your name.
    Your kingdom come.
    Your will be done,
    on earth as it is in heaven.
    Give us lots of bread daily.
    And please forgive Donnie’s debts,
    as Vlad will not forgive us debtors.
    And do not bring us to the time of trial,
    as they have promised to blackmail him
    if he defaults on his loans..

  • ViveLaPersistence

    Wait. The crowd of so-called God-fearing Christian hick tea baggers was yakking and taking selfies all through the prayer, and someone is pretending to be butthurt over some mild chastising by liberals that may nor may have happened?

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I noticed that, too. Most of them were talking and/or taking selfies. I saw one or two people with their hands held high towards sweet baby Jesus, but most of them were totally ignoring the prayer. I think Republicans greatly overestimate how much their base loves Christ and tax cuts on the rich. The reality is that their base consists of racist, redneck hicks who hate OTHER people’s entitlements, while loving their own Social Security and Medicare.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        If only we could get them to notice that tax breaks for billionaires are “other people’s entitlements”.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          By far the most entitled people in this country are the recipients of trust fund payouts.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Funny how the dumb hicks never realize that Trump and his congressional friends are going to pass a law that his own “coastal elite” children won’t have to pay any taxes on the money they inherit, that was actually made by their grandfather. Generatioal entitlement for the win!

      • Roadstergal

        Prayer isn’t about religion, for a lot of these folks. It’s identity. ‘Christian’ with the outward flair (church and Jeebus pics) means you’re one of The Good Team, not one of those Lie-berals or muslins.

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      I know I remain quiet and respectful when someone is leading a public prayer, and I’m a frakking animist. But I suppose that’s too reverent for actual Christianists.

  • Sardonicuss

    This is the time of day that it dawns on me yet again that we are going to be seeing and hearing these people …every day.
    In other words: Cocktail hour

  • Trump’s first baptismal contestant.
    https://youtu.be/x07VM96qNfA

    • Greyhame

      I hadn’t actually watched the video before (even without the perfect music.) Anyway, that certainly didn’t seem rehearsed at all. No sir, Gene Huber got up there and did an entirely spontaneous thing!

      • Here’s hoping it ends up to be a Kathy Bates, ‘Misery’ situation.

  • Shibusa
    • Sardonicuss

      Ramen.

  • KevinShinn

    Melania may not have been reading from the Koran but did notice #DeadbeatDonald eschewed wearing a necktie, just like a common Muslim. Uhhhh… “Just sayin’.”

  • ibwilliamsi

    Why the fuck are they having campaign rallies on my dime? Isn’t that illegal? Why is that not the story?

    Oh, and we sputtered because Melania had the balls to say the Lord’s Prayer and follow it up by pissing and moaning about how unfair her life is – which it’s not – and it’s not a very Christian thing to do.

    • Sardonicuss

      When are the actual media going to start spending some real on air hours talking about how this is costing us $10 million a throw?
      Is he going to do this shit every fucking weekend?
      Can somebody just loose the keys to AF One?

      • Weevie

        This is cringeworthy, but they’re working on building a secure helipad at Mar A Lago.
        Pause….
        Then Trump can rave about all the money he’s saving with his smaller aircraft.
        That’s true, hence cringeworthy.

        • Sardonicuss

          Based on his current travel expenditures, projecting into the future…we could have single payer healthcare for everybody within 4 years if he just parked his fat ass atop Trump Tower in NYC!
          Which is exponentially nasty when you consider he is in the process of killing off what little we already have.

          • Weevie

            That makes sense. Won’t happen.

        • mailman27

          He can charge bazilliontuplet for landing fees. THE TAXPAYERS (US) ARE UPGRADING HIS FUCKING PROPERTY!!!1!!!!

          • theCryptofishist

            Ooooh! Let’s eminent domain it at the end of his term!

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Remember how Fox News used to piss and moan about all the taxpayer money Obama was wasting on family vacations? The Trump clan is on plan to meet that 8 year $198 million total figure within 7 MONTHS. Oddly, I have a feeling that Fox will be pretty quiet about that.

  • Mavenmaven

    The sad part is the Melania believes she wrote this speech.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Yeah you right. First she plagiarized Michelle Obama, then Jesus.
      Why do I think the only Bible she ever picked up was in the nightstand of a hotel suite.

  • Juan de Fuca

    I tend to follow the liberal mainstream media and the first I’d heard about it was from another Wonkeroo last night, and even that non-commenter was joking about it. But since the RWNJ’s are so pissed off about the fake news about us being pissed off about it, I’ll run with it:

    Melania Trump finally found a passage she could read line for line without having to worry about plagarisim and picked the one that anyone who’s spent time in a church can recite from memory.

    /outrage

  • aureolaborealis
  • Shibusa
    • Weevie

      My cactus agrees.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Sputtering and snickering are two very different things.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I love that Trump thinks he’s going to unite the country, by hiring the most far right fringes of an already far right political party.

    Imagine if Obama had been married to an Eastern European immigrant who can barely speak English, lies about her academic credentials, and steals a political opponent’s wife’s speech. Poor conservative snowflakes would go APESHIT!

    • Anna Rompage

      If Obama had three senior advisor get fired or quit because of their connections to Russian, congress would have held back to back investigations for eternity…

      • Bad Tom

        In. The. First. Month!

    • OrG

      They went APESHIT anyway.

  • Fritz1964

    The will should be done…

    I was waiting for a NASCAR race to breakout!

  • chazmanr

    In other news, former Eagles guitarist has filed for a legal name change.

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      Because life had been good for him until fairly recently.

  • Ωbjectifier

    I do believe Joe Walsh (the evil one) just taunted us a second time!

    • Biff52

      And he used to seem so normal!

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    Was that the Catholic version or the Protestant version? It seems like it was a bit of a hybrid.

    • Sophia

      It was Protestant but I read further down thread that Catholics use the same one now.

      • Alternative Pony Ron

        I had thought that only the Anglican version used the Doxology at the end, and everyone else left it off – something about ‘the Kingdom’ having to do with justifying the divine right of kings. I guess the situation is a bit more complex than that.

        • Sophia

          For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory, forever and ever.

          Which doesn’t really have anything to do with divine right. This is God’s Kingdom and we are not supposed to take credit for things that God has done. God is not happy when we do not give Him the glory and we take if for ourselves. If we do this, He will humble us because He is opposed to those that are prideful.

          Not preaching just explanation.

          • Biff52

            45* should have a 70 year overdue smackdown coming any day now, then.

          • Alternative Pony Ron

            The way I heard it explained was an appeal to ‘as above, so below.’ God has a kingdom, so humans can have kingdoms too. And by transference some of that divinity adheres to the Earthly ones.
            It is possible I was hearing an epic piece of rationalisation, of course.

          • Sophia

            I love to hear other opinions. I do believe that we are all born with a spark of the divinity in each of our hearts. It’s what we do with it through our life that counts. This would agree with what you are saying.

          • Alternative Pony Ron

            ‘It’s what we do with it through our life that counts.’
            This. A thousand times, this. What one believes, what one says, none of it matters as much as what one DOES. If you don’t walk the walk, talking the talk just makes you a hypocrite. And I’ve met a depressing number of people like that, which makes me treasure the ones who DO walk their particular walk even more.

    • theCryptofishist

      I only skimmed this, and refuse to read it carefully. You figure it out.
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lord%27s_Prayer

  • LarryHoudini

    OT but I’ve been following some pretty weird shit on Twitter about that Russian diplomat who died in NYC and was probably poisoned by Putin cause he knew too much about Putin and Trump and that Putin has been syphoning oil money for years making him the richest man on earth and that any Russian agents who are now scared should defect asap and that the NYC police and FBI are both compromised???
    Probly nuthin.

    • Sophia

      Been watching that myself. Whole story is getting interesting.

      • LarryHoudini

        Louise Mensche. I don’t know if she’s reliable or not, so I’m taking it all with a grain of salt. Still, it’s hard to get past confirmation bias.

    • Tio_Doidinho

      But Melania SAID A PRAYER BADLY. Priorities, man!

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      I’m more worried about John Oliver.

    • Weevie

      No. twitter knows what’s important.

    • Roadstergal

      Defecting to the US is probably not a good career/life move. Try Canada.

      • LarryHoudini

        I think they recommended England.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          That didn’t work out so well for the last guy who tried it.

          • LarryHoudini

            The guy who died from the poisoned umbrella tip?

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            That was a different guy. It’s difficult to keep track of Putin’s body count. Litvinenko had a few parting words for Putin:

            “You have shown yourself to be as barbaric and ruthless as your most hostile critics have claimed. You have shown yourself to have no respect for life, liberty or any civilised value. You have shown yourself to be unworthy of your office, to be unworthy of the trust of civilised men and women.”

            Not that this bothers Il Douche, of course.

          • PubOption

            Markov was Bulgarian.

      • Weevie

        Where the border is long and hard. We learned that yesterday.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Let me get this straight- we lefties are afraid of Islam, but we are intent on letting evil terrorists (aka refugees who have already been thoroughly vetted and who happen to be Muslim) flood across the border and impose Sharia law.
    Okey dokey. Makes sense.

    • Weevie

      What a tangled web they’ve woven…

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      The saddest thing is, since they are so lacking in cognition they can only generalize from themselves, is their admission that they’re afraid of another religion. Like Dark Ages peasants. Who, interestingly enough, were living in caves and eating with their hands while ANOTHER civilization was studying astronomy, inventing hospitals, enjoying a vibrant artistic life, creating mathematical systems that we have our kids study even today…. now, who could that be? Hmmmmm?

      • Weevie

        I guess this is what you call your De Evolution. Yup, I tell you!

    • eka

      Maybe they’re fire and brimstone types who are used to be scared by their religion and assume we’re all Muslim?

      • alpacapunchbowl

        It is always projection with these fools, after all.

  • Tio_Doidinho

    So here’s what bugs me about “News Cycles Driven by Twitter Catfights”: this stupid prayer and details regarding Cheetolini’s collusion with Russia have precisely the same priority.

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

    Blessed are those who can suffer through Lee Greenwood’s hit single and still maintain their sanity.

    • Sardonicuss

      ….so proud to be a ‘murikin..where at least I know I’m fucked..

    • The Flaming Carrot

      I agree, Melania’s rendition of the Lord’s Prayer was music to my ears after hearing that musical diarrhea..

    • PubOption

      Lee, don’t expect to see any royalty checks from Donnie.

      • theCryptofishist

        Exposure bucks!

  • Daniel Hooper

    My buddies get on my case sometimes about me being a God-less heathen(mostly for my fondness for furry stuff.). Meanwhile, they’re hardly saints themselves, and I often feel those who preach loudly and condem others for their lack of faith have little knowledge themselves of their religion.
    One time, while playing a trivia game, a question came up, asking what the Latin equivalent of A-Z was. Only me, the one mocked for his supposed faithlessness, knew it was Alpha-Omega, and that was from my own Bible study. I think it’s kind of ironic that it was in the book of Revelations .

    • Weevie

      You are the Alpha and the Omega.
      Bows from all.

    • Sardonicuss

      As a life long atheist, nothing has astounded me more than constantly being more knowledgeable of the bible than all my christian friends.
      Not two months ago, I had to explain the origins and differences between, the old and new testaments, their relationship to Judaism, and the meaning of “Abrahamic Religions” to somebody who was desperately trying to get me to go to church with them!
      Now it is just infuriating….but so are most things these days.

      • Sophia

        The thing that had me really examining my bible and my beliefs was visits from Mormons. Had a couple of missionaries show up here one day and we got to talking. They would stop around occasionally and we would talk. Actually very nice guys but if you want to talk to Mormon missionaries you damn well better know your bible or you will get steamrolled. It was actually a very good exercise for me. Made me take a good look and re-examine my faith and what it meant to me.

        • Sardonicuss

          Well, they have to because their thing is evangelizing and conversion..so can’t get tripped up on the details!
          Southern babtists are the worst. They have some ..late night t.v. version of the bible in their heads..with the rapture and hell and revelations.
          I love to go: Show me the rapture in the bible. Drives them nuts.

          • Weevie

            Second that! “Just checkin’ on your religion.”

            In southern ohio, seemed like every time I’d mow the lawn a pair of them would show up and babble at me for five minutes, then I’d pull out my earplugs and say “What was that?”

          • Sardonicuss

            I used to love that a lot more when I was a young long haired hippy who liked to sleep in on Saturday mornings.
            I was upstairs…and they just kept leaning on the doorbell…ding..ding..ding..
            I finally lept up in my underwear, ran down the stairs and flung open the door like a crazed Aqualung: What the fuck do you people want!!!
            It was two white shirted Mormon guys…..never seen anyone run so fast.

          • Biff52

            I greeted a couple of young-ish lady JW’s in my bathrobe once, cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other. I was home recovering from lumbar spinal surgery, and I somehow felt compelled to show them my scar. They never came back.

          • Sophia

            These youngsters were pretty nice, not pushy. I had to give them Kudos though because here they were plunked down in Ontario from Utah doing what they believed they were called to do. The first 2 were okay. They left and 1 of the next group was one of those know it alls so I told them not to come back.

    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

      ‘cept Alpha and Omega is Greek.

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      Of note: two of the most devout and knowledgeable Xians I have known in my time on this planet have been furries. Come to think of it, they both got called ‘heathens’ from time to time by the sort of Christianist who has never read the Bible but believes whatever his pastor says is in it.

    • bobbert

      As a trivial nit, that would be Greek, not Latin.

  • John Iwaniszek

    Is everything those whack conservatives do a bid for liberals’ attention? Pathetic!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, if they don’t do crazy shit like this, they’ll be ignored. And we can’t have THAT!

    • Weevie

      Funny thing (not really) is, when one of those flame pieces comes out, within minutes, comments sections are flooded with thousands of slams against anything anti right. Even if no one center/left has posted. It’s all crap, they’re talking to themselves.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Makes you wonder who’s being “triggered.”

        • Biff52

          And who the “snowflakes” in need of a “safe space” are.

          • Weevie

            Time to MELT these snowflakes.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    We’re “triggered and outraged” because she did it so fucking BADLY.

  • Shibusa

    It would be nice if these two excellent Christians would address the rise in American Anti-Semitism. (This is in Missouri.)
    https://twitter.com/FOX2now/status/833798946816409600

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Vandals? Try “loyal Trump supporters.”

      • Jared James

        The terms are synonymous, given Trump’s idea of “making America great again” is mainly about eliminating every gain the Republic has made since 1848.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Breitbarbarians

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Trumpenazis.

    • Sophia

      That is so sad. I feel bad for the families. It’s also pathetic on the part of the vandals. Kicking over grave stones. What a bunch of tough guys.

    • Nockular cavity

      “Mr President, do you have a comment on th…”
      “SIT DOWN.”

    • Biff52
  • azeyote

    the whole lead in to that thing with the choir singing tacky religious songs, and then the prayer to their lord was exactly what he’s all about – he’ll probably put that show on a permanent tour –

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Anyone with authentic, heartfelt faith should be appalled at how this vile man engaging in sacrilege in the support of his own personal agenda. Good for him that “evangelical Christians” aren’t actually Christians at all.

    • Greyhame

      He’s cribbing a few tricks for fleecing the masses from those prosperity gospel preachers who’ve been supporting him.

    • Weevie

      The scary thing is the suckers who ate it up.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        The music in the first 10 seconds told me all I needed to know about that mob of knuckleheads.

        You just know he’s pissed that he can’t have tanks and missiles parade down Pennsylvania Avenue.

        • thewalkindude

          Soon…soon…

    • LucindathePook

      I’ve always heard that taking the name of the Lord in vain did not mean swearing so much as blasphemy, using the name of the Lord to advance one’s own purposes. Plus, of course Matthew 6:6 and the fact that everyone who shouts “Lord, Lord,” isn’t necessarily gonna be rewarded for doing so.

  • janecita

    Poor, mail ordered bride Melania, that was painful! On a serious note though, there are some awesome ESL teachers out there that could use the extra income, she should hire one.

    • Biff52

      Sadly, it would now be at our expense.

    • Weevie

      Where’s Trump University now that she needs it?

  • Alternative Pony Ron

    What I want to hear is the two of them singing ‘The Star-Spangled Banner. ‘

  • mfp

    the first 2 minutes of that video (couldnt go any further) are the creepiest i have seen in a long time

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    … thy will be probated, without inheritance taxes, in the U.S. as it is in the Caymans …

    • mailman27

      Now THAT’S the gospel!

  • Holly

    Now I know why the Orange Cheeto / Candied Yam said Sweden was under terrorist attack! Melania is being held hostage and is suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. What else can possibly explain the total shit fuck weirdness of that video??

    • Weevie

      Ah Hah! And the subsequent war with Sweden! That’s it!

  • Webster

    Matthew 6:5-6 (KJV)

    “5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

    “6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.”

    Oops.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      And Matthew 7:16 (KJV) Ye shall know them by their fruits.

      As a non-evangelical Christian friend said, tRump clearly isn’t a Christian.

      • Weevie

        So many Kreez Chins are attracted to him, though.

        Y’know, it’s possible all that crap is fake. Fake people so fake media can make daily fake news. Bannon’s the CEO.

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          My RWNJ relatives who attend a megachurch and have drunk the FauxGnus koolaid,swear Trump is a Christian who will do great things. We have been avoiding family gatherings, so we don’t scream “He’s the fucking antichrist!”

      • Christopher Story

        And Isaiah 5:22 – “Whoa to those who put good for bad and bad for good…”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      My favorite verse. One that “Christians” consistently ignore.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      I was hoping someone would post this. I was too lazy to look it up.

      • Webster

        As a devout atheist, I’ve learned that the best way to fight against the Christo-fascists is to turn their own weapons against them…

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          I’m a born again Agnostic.

  • Jgb979

    One day:

    When Trump is being shackled off to treason prison – she is going to write the most juicy tell-all book of all time.

    • SwedenBorderPatrolCaptainHowdy

      Do you think the graphic heavy scat will affect sales?

      • Jgb979

        I almost don’t want to know the shit she’s seen and done while climbing gold dig mountain.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          My feelings exactly . . . the world will be a better place if that information dies when the parties do.

          • Biff52

            Barron probably already has a publisher in his pocket.

  • raypc800

    Now let’s all be very honest hear folks, If you were married to Trump would you not agree to read scripture, while inside praying to God for help. If you study the Bible, Trump could easily be compared to the number 666 and all good Christians should know who that number is affiliated with.

    That is unless RW propaganda has now reversed who it represents to its followers.

    • miss_grundy

      Uh…. I would never have married him because I would have hung up the phone if he had called me.

    • thewalkindude

      666? That’s how many Electoral College votes he got, isn’t it? That’s the information I was given…

      • raypc800

        You have apparently been getting your news from a RW propaganda place called “The Satan Gazette”.

        • thewalkindude

          Yes, but I have a luxurious condo reserved when I get there

  • BMW

    There apparently was a boomlet of backlash against Melania Trump reading this on Twitter. In order to feed the perpetual rightwing outrage machine, Fox News and other outlets had to treat those random people who were offended for different reasons (some less valid than others) as a monolithic leftist voice of anguish.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      “Why do liberals hate the Lord’s Prayer?”

      • Weevie

        I’ll bite.
        IDK, why?

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Because it doesn’t pair well with arugula.

          • Alexander Stallwitz

            I hate it because i am possesed by demons and female spirits. It burns us!

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          No answer; it’s just a likely Fucks Gnus headline.

      • BMW

        I am tempted to actually answer why *I* hate “The Lord’s Prayer,” though it’s hardly what I would consider a politically ideological argument.

    • Thaumaturgist

      Somewhere on line, someone, no doubt a libtard, claimed that Mellon said “hollow be thy knee.” does that count as leftish anguish?

    • Sophia

      The only thing I saw anywhere was an article on her reciting the Lords Prayer at the start of the rally that then turned into a kick the shit out of people type rally. I think the aim was more at the hypocrisy than the prayer.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Well, you know Melania…advocate of ending bullying on the Internet married to one of the most obvious bullies on the Internet.

  • The Flaming Carrot

    Is “in your face” a secret code word for “completely innocuous?” Because I haven’t heard one single person of liberal persuasion talking about this.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      More a cause for eye-rolling than sputtering. Unless coughing coffee all over your keyboard is “sputtering”.

    • theCryptofishist

      Maybe he wanted to say “Crammed down our throats” but thought it would be too controversial.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    The problem is that there is too much to unpack here; all of the worst, retro faux patriotic Lee Greenwood condemnation music, to the new golden hair job atop the smirky-face mouthing fuck-you-my-enemies, I have grifting evangelical pastors amping up mindless hordes on my behalf, to the don’t touch me, aging naif-voiced, plastic surgeon’s fortune face, being given the King James extra biblicious over the top KKKristianistic reverse-meaning belief in a God who provides for his chosen few…..too much….

    • Sophia

      Easy for you to say that, I think

  • Thaumaturgist

    Where I feel left out is that it never occurred to me that a prayer would leave you libtards sputtering. Thorough I have to admit this was more Christian circus than devotion.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      I never could figure out the connection between Lee Greenwood, the airplane hanger, the Lord’s Prayer and a political campaign speech. Some kind of demented Huey Long thing?

    • Axomamma

      If you think it’s the prayer that’s leaving “libtards sputtering,” I’m going to assume you failed third grade remedial reading.

      • Thaumaturgist

        Dinesh. Dinesh D’Souza mentioned in his tweet that the prayer was the most in-your-face act by any First Lady & it has left the other side — that means you Axomamma — sputtering. (Evan displayed the Dinesh tweet in his post.)

        • Axomamma

          Where do you see me — or any “libtard” — sputtering (other than morons like Dinesh and possibly yourself) about the prayer itself? All I see are people pointing and laughing at Trump’s shit show.

          • theCryptofishist

            Uh. FWIW, I believe the Thaumaturgist is a regular around here. I read his comment as pure snark.

      • miss_grundy

        What leaves liberals sputtering is that the grifters are reciting a non-grifter prayer. Because — the hypocrisy….

  • Scrofula

    Only time I’ve ever heard the Lord’s Prayer is when my gramma tucked me in at night as like an eight year-old.
    Isn’t it a fuckin bedtime thing? Like, not a rally intro? Are they trying to hypnotize the audience?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Nah, we used to have to recite it at the beginning of the school day. (Not kidding. Public school. Never say the Boomers didn’t do anything for you, because we got rid of that bullshit anyway.

      • Christopher Story

        Thank you for your valiant efforts. I got to enjoy a much more secular education in my own youth.

      • Jukesgrrl

        Yes, indeed. Lord’s Prayer before the Pledge of Allegiance at my public school, too. And girls had to wear skirts. Thank boomers for that, too, wimmins. Even when I was a freshman in college, female students had to sign out of the dorms after dark and say where they were going and male students did not. The rule changed by my sophomore year. You’re welcome.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    She is a relatively attractive woman married to a guy who is old enough to be her father.
    Fuck, he is a contemporary of her father. You would be in the dumps too if your life was Donnie Dildo.

    • Lambsendbeds

      She knew the job was dangerous when she took it…

  • gtghawaii

    It looked like she was being held prisoner being forced to do it and the fact she had to read it. It was like the 2 Corinthian moment when you knew that Trump has never actually read the bible. Can’t wait for the SNL skit.

  • Bad Tom

    Forgive us our trespasses
    As we forgive those who trespass against us…

    The Trumps are not down with this.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      “… as I fire those who trespass against me…”

      • Bad Tom

        …And denounce them on Twitter.

        • freckles

          And SUE them for all they have!

  • Juan de Fuca

    Isn’t Dinesh the same stage-6 creeper who went through some of Michelle Obama’s old college papers looking for grammar errors and posting them on his Twitter page? Not Barack’s college papers – Michelle’s.

    Then again, it probably something to do with Michelle writing her thesis on what it means to attend Princeton as a black woman. Wonder if her topic was too ‘in-your-face’ for Dinesh?

    https://twitter.com/DineshDSouza/status/816151383560683520

    • mailman27

      D’Souza is grabbing any passing flotsam to hoist his face up into the public view. It’s so painfully obvious. STFU, Dinesh. If that really is your name.

    • Edith Prickly

      Michelle Obama’s thesis Dinesh D’Souza’s writing career illustrates the risible crap that passed for scholarship in the heyday of affirmative action wingnut welfare”

      Fixed that for him.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Actually, now that I know about this, I am outraged, not only because it is highly inappropriate for an elected official to use a Christian prayer at a secular event (if he’s in church, fine), but also because it was a cynical and pandering gesture. All by itself it negates the claims of the Drumpfs and the brownshirts at the rally of their Christianity.

  • Thaumaturgist

    This wasn’t prayer. It was a dominance gesture, which Trump executed vicariously, through his current, vacuous wife.

  • John Citizen

    It didn’t seem that bad. I think she may have mis-stepped around the trespassing part, but what the hell do I know? I’m Jewish. Now, it’s true she didn’t seem “comfortable,” but she’s not comfortable in anything First Lady-related. She’s living a nightmare, I presume. I genuinely feel horrible for her. I’m sure she never expected her husband, the Orange Tornado, to win (and neither did he).

  • Axomamma

    I’m not going to listen to any audio of this bullshit parade but I’m struck by the “Blacks for Trump 2020 dot com” signs being held up in the back. Made to look home-made, yet obviously preprinted, with a space between the K and the S, as if it were discovered that the sign maker had put in an apostrophe, was told to remove it, but neglected to remove the space.

    Also, too, isn’t not even a month after inauguration a bit early to start campaigning for a second term?

    • Biff52

      Grifter’s gotta grift.

    • Axomamma

      It really is a peculiar choice to use a prayer that’s typically said when sitting down to a meal. You’d have thought as well that she would have read it through at least once before getting up on stage but advance preparation has never been a strong suit in the Trump family.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        You think she was told in advance? More like Drumpf to hand it to her just as they’re rolling to a stop, so she has no time to object.

      • freckles

        Actually, Axomamma, the Lord’s Prayer (in my region of the country) is never said as grace before meals. Perhaps it is where you live?

    • Rags

      4-5 has already registered as a candidate in 2020. So this is in fact a campaign stop, not an official occasion.

      • tinker12

        In that case, we need to wait until the next president is elected before filling that vacant SCOTUS seat.

        • freckles

          You and I are thinking along the same lines, tinker12!

      • cmd resistor

        Some kind of money grift going on there for sure.

        • Jukesgrrl

          I don’t know where to look but I’m sure there are laws on the books (financial, if not otherwise) about how sitting presidents have to behave when they are campaigning for reelection. Although I’m sure Trump would ignore them even if he knew them, somebody needs to be tracking this. Any lawyers here?

          • cmd resistor

            I did read that since it was billed as a campaign event the cost of the trips and all could be billed to his campaign. I think I read that if he takes Air Force One on vacation he has to pay the commercial cost of taking same trip (no big deal) but I think he can bill more stuff to his campaign this way. Not an expert, though.

        • freckles

          Trump’s whole life is a money grift–and he’s taught his kids to do the same.

      • freckles

        Well, since he’s already campaigning, shouldn’t Congress refuse to consider any Supreme Court nominees, as they did to President Obama?

        • Rags

          Perzakley

  • I like the part towards the end when Trump says reverently ‘I didn’t know Melania was gonna say the Lord’s Prayer”.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Poor thing. I didn’t used to feel bad for her. But I do now. Not because I spent the weekend mocking her, because I forgot to, but I am convinced now that she is being held hostage.

    • Lambsendbeds

      Said it before, I’ll say it again – she knew the job was dangerous when she took it.

      • OrdinaryJoe
        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Yeesh. Glad that died a slow internet death. “Put a dot on your hand to show you need help. Also, millions of other people, put a dot on your hand to show support. . . . Oh, wait…”

          Dumbasses never got to the “Oh wait…” part.

          • theCryptofishist

            It was stigmatitizing.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        I know, but I imagine she had assumed that when he got caught with hookers or a new mistress, she could take him for tens of millions and call it good.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      I can see her talking to the detectives once she’s made her escape. (In an eastern European accent) “It was like a penis, only smaller. I would wake up and there it was….always, always I was have to address it as Mr. President.”

    • Juan de Fuca

      Agreed. There’s a part of me that wants to hit back at the RWNJ’s who attacked Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama for being opportunists, even though both women were highly educated and on their own paths to success before marrying the dudes they married – two guys who weren’t even successful yet but somehow those young ladies were gold diggers to the wingnuts.

      Then we have Melania. I’m gonna leave it at that. She seems like a good mom, though and that’s what counts the most in my book. It’d be cool if she’d stop with the “Blue Steel” gaze whenever someone takes her picture, but to each their own.

      • freckles

        “Blue Steel” gaze–hadn’t heard that one before. I always called it the Stink-eye.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Gah, STOP USING THAT SONG. I used to love that song. It was a total guilty pleasure.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      You had to know that right-wing numbskulls would turn it into a nationalist anthem.

    • Hemp Dogbane

      The Jingo National Anthem.

  • Apple Scruff

    So President Cheeto is still in Florida today. Long holiday weekend?

    • Sophia

      He’s working. Busy running away from the press. That’s hard work.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Fake news. I was almost soothed by a blatant violation of the establishment clause instead of the Russian Puppet’s normal OH FUCK WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE inducing administration.

  • Apple Scruff

    Did anyone else notice how before they walked across the stage, he pointed at her as if to brag, “So hot, right? She’s mine.” ?

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Don, better get working on that next wife, while Melania still has good trade-in value.

      • freckles

        Exactly, Saxo–wasn’t he recorded as saying he didn’t want any woman older than 30 (isn’t Melania in her mid-forties?) and especially no woman who has had a child. Bet she’d already be out the door if he hadn’t been running for POTUS.

    • Jukesgrrl

      That’s exactly what he was thinking … and no doubt he was pointing to her breasts. He would have done the same thing had his daughter been there.

  • Holly

    She always looks like she is ready to sneeze.

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      She gets allergic smelling hay.

    • tinker12

      She always looks to me like she’s ready to say, “I will cut a bitch.”

    • Bill Slider

      Perhaps, she is allergic to the color orange.

  • orygoon

    I feel kinda cynical about this but that’s hardly the same thing. Also, crowds of rednecks make me nauseous.

  • orygoon

    I’m okay with a bit of relevant prayer/scripture. I would have been pretty impressed if she had read the Beatitudes.

    • miss_grundy

      I would have been impressed if she then hadn’t been struck by lightning.

      • orygoon

        The entire assembled masses, you mean.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    When you don’t give a flying fuck about the people Jesus told you to care about, reciting the Lord’s Prayer at a political rally is just so, gauche.

    • I was surprised she didn’t recite that well-know biblical prayer, “Now I lay me down to sleep.”

      • bookish

        You’re killing me. That would be the funniest damn thing.

  • It doesn’t sound to me as if she stumbled through it at all. At least no more than she sounds all, you know, foreign and stuff every time she talks, no matter what she says. And I, for one, am not going to knock her for that. She does better with English than I would with, well, pretty much any other language. (I do speak some functional Spanish, and I’m told I “don’t have an accent” when I do, by which they presumably mean I sound like a native speaker. HOWEVER, I can only speak in the present tense with super-simple sentence structures.)

    But, Donnie standing back there doing the “Watermelon cantaloupe” thing is pretty hysterical.

    • theCryptofishist

      Yeah, I didn’t think she was bad at all. Well, except in her choice of marriage partners and face creams.

    • Bmaccnm

      She’s lived in America for more than 20 years, and she can afford THE BEST tutors. If my grasp of the language of my host country were that bad after 20 years, I’d sit down and be quiet.

      • Manders

        I think it speaks volumes about how unhappy she’s been with 45. From all accounts, Barron’s Slovenian is almost better than his English – I think they spend a lot of time with her family. The Oaf of Office has only met them once, for a few hours.

        • Jukesgrrl

          The Oaf of Office!! That’s great. I’m collecting all the names for Trump, everything from Bloviating Yam to Hair Furor to Cheeto Benito to Dolt 45, and you are rocketing to a top spot on my list.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Since christianists claim to be against gambling, maybe they see bankrupting a casino as doing the Lord’s work?
    I’m still at a loss for “blessed are the scammers” and “blessed are the compulsive liars”, but I’m sure they’ve got something in their squirrel-sized brains.

  • Edith Prickly

    The LEFT is afraid of Islam??? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

    STFU and go pay your bills, Joe Walsh.

  • fawkedifiknow

    The Lord’s Prayer according to Milo the Pedophile

    Our Daddy who art of the deal;
    Shallow be thy name.
    Your weekend come,
    Thy will to vacay be done,
    At Mar-a-Lago with your rich bretheren.
    Give us this day
    Our daily taco bowl,
    And forgive us our Pedophilia
    As we ignored your sex assaults.
    And, for fucks sake, don’t hold
    Anyone to account. Amen.

    • TootsStansbury

      LOL I was just trying to come up with my own translation.
      Our fadda what’s up in heaven
      Hair piece be thy name
      Thy kindgdom come when dinner’s done
      The bread will be unleavened
      Gimme all my hard earned bread
      And forgive us our trespasses because IOKIYAR
      As we shoot down those who trespass against us
      Lead us not into to temptation
      But if we fall for it allow us to weasel out

  • Is it just me or did Cheeto Mussolini have extra freshly dyed batting pasted on his head so the wind would blow up and show his tan lines again?

  • Yr. Gma

    I don’t have any strong feelings about this. If Melon wanted to read the Lord’s Prayer, then, hey, America, free speech, whatever. There are plenty of more significant things that crowd has done to get worked up about. (Where do they stash the little boy when they go to Florida?)

    • Shawn Renee Ernoehazy

      I think Melon’s parents have a place at the tower also; so he is likely spending time with grandparents learning languages that are not English when he is not in the care of his probably illegal immigrant nanny who has actually raised him since he was born. He is sort of the Soap Opera child in real life; he only appears when needed to show they are parents or to advance the plot (however thin) of the story line.

  • unclejeems

    Ok, but just remember . . .

    First, she’s a baby christian(ist), so all is forgiven.

    Second, she a Republican (or her husband says he is, so there’s that), so even if she can’t read it correctly, all is forgiven . . .

    Third, her copy was probably written in English, so . . .

    But fourth, I’m sick and bloody tired of being consigned to one side of things, and always referred to as part of “the left.” Aside from the fact that there is no organized “the left” (a la Will Rogers) in the US of A, I’d like to think that I’m a complicated human being enough not to be constantly pegged and stereotyped.

    That said, as mild as I am, I’m about as far politically from the orange shitgibbon currently occupying the White House as Trotsky was from bloody Czar Nicholas Romanov the effing Second. I haven’t changed that much for decades–but the maniacs currently running the clown car that is the national administration have dropped off the edge of the world. “The right” doesn’t even begin to describe it. Jesus. (Yes, him again.)

    • Wee Mousie

      I do pray out loud. and frequently, especially when reading the news of the day. A loud “Jaysus!!” or a “Kee-Ryst!” whenever I read about one of the dumber and/or more reprehensible events in the news. Nothing more — I don’t editorialize to a deity. Just making sure it hasn’t escaped His attention.

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    That Miss America runway walk of Melania’s is as weird and creepy as anything else about this bizarre little scuffle. She makes it crystal clear that this is all just ‘The Real Fascists of Mar a Lago,’ the sleaziest series in the whole ‘Real’ franchise. She’s like the Tamra Judge of American politics.

    But as for any inclination to be indignant about an obviously irreligious and/or profoundly insincere American political wife playing a roomful of rubes with a textbook show of public piety? Pfft. I’m too old to waste time fretting about that.

    I hate public prayer, and I guess I hate it a little more when it’s performed by someone so deeply Restylaned and odious as this dreadful, racist woman.

    But hey, that’s merely a matter of degree. I cringe even when politicians I like say the word “God” in public.

    Granted that most people don’t actually believe in God–that includes a great many of the people who claim they do– I think faith, where it authentically exists, is a matter between the soul and God. Which is why I don’t think it should be treated like the spiritual equivalent of a balloon drop.

    But that’s just me.

  • JoeChristmas

    There were 700,000 at the Nuremberg Rally, and only 9,000 Trumpanzees in the hangar. He’s weak and failing.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    I would have been way more sputtery if she had said it correctly. Just from surprise.

  • JoeChristmas

    Yeah, that ran smoothly.

  • weejee

    Perhaps she better knows the Fifth Avenue Padre Nuestro?

    Our Coco with Armani in Heaven, lavish be thy name.
    Thy packages comes, the bill will be done
    On-line as it is in storefronts.
    Give us this day our daily cred.
    And forgive us our excesses as we forgive those who excess along with us.
    And lead us not into insolvency, but deliver us from Shylock.
    For thine is the Visa, and Amex, and Barclay
    Forever and ever, amen

    • Jon Sussex

      You had me going there for a minute. I thought Giorgio might have died.

  • Hemp Dogbane

    “Hollowed by Thy name…”

  • Blerg

    Honestly, who cares if she struggled with the prayer. What truly offended me ( Cheetolini obviously not knowing the words was hilarious and SAD) was all the so-called Christians in the audience screaming and catcalling at Mel throughout her recitation. It’s the Lord’s Prayer, assholes, show some respect.

    • therblig

      please all they could think about is how much they want to bone her. amen.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      They are showing as much if not more respect to a woman than their hero Lil’Donnie does. I half expected one of them to rush the stage to grab her…

  • TootsStansbury

    As a liberal I suppose I could say:
    “Today we are all in an abusive relationship”. What with how much the GOP hates us and have hated us for decades and wants us disappeared and it would be funny but oh wait and there’s nothing funny about that.

    • Wee Mousie

      Actually, it would be funny if we all did disappear. Then there would be no distractions and they could get down to doing the very necessary job of hating themselves.

  • therblig

    i thought we prayed to cardboard idols now?

  • WideStance

    “In line with their father’s officially atheist Communist beliefs, Melania and her sister were not baptized and did not make their first holy communion with the other children, a decision which did not escape Catholic relatives.” http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3279399/Will-Lady-Melania-Trump-s-extraordinary-journey-card-carrying-Communist-s-daughter-teenage-model-White-House-favorite-s-wife-revealed.html

  • JParkerSD46

    The fact that Melania had to read a prayer that every Christian kid knows by heart by age 7 pretty much says it all. I’d pay good money to see Dear Leader try to recite it from memory. “Our father, who knows I won the most electoral college votes in all of history, Hillary is a criminal, Chicago is a nightmare, and Sweden has been overrun by Moozlims. Amen.”

    • tomamitai

      To be fair, she probably learned it as “Oče naš”, if at all, considering she grew up in communist Yugoslavia.

      • The Flaming Carrot

        That’s what I was thinking. Well, actually I was thinking about the time I sang Otche Nash in Old Church Slavonic.

    • lageorgia

      But the version she read was not the Presbyterian USA version, yet they claim to be Presbyterian

      • calliecallie

        Debts vs. Trespasses. Poor Melon would have had an easier time if they’d just used “debts.” It sure would have had a different feel to it, though. “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors?” From a Trump? As if.

    • looksquirrels

      *I* know the Lord’s Prayer by heart, and I am a Jewish.

      • ahughes798

        I know it, too, and I am a Atheist.

  • reelreeler

    Regarding excerpts from the Sermon on the Mount, I wonder if the Trumps will ever read the beatitudes out loud at a rally, that would be a hoot especially if a lightening bolt incinerated them.

  • Kastle

    If she stumbled through a verse of the Qu’uaran, I’d be equally amused/offended, as she’s not a practicing Muslim. Either.

    • Wee Mousie

      She should have prayed to Gucci or Prada.

      Oops! That’s right, the devil wears Pravda.

  • 3FingerPete

    As her first social initiative Melania is teaming with Guy Fieri to make school lunch menus American again.

    • Me not sure

      NEEDZ MOAR BATTERED AND DEEP FRIED IMITATION PASTURIZED PROCESSED CHEESE FOOD PRODUCT ON A STICK!

      • efoveks

        And don’t forget the high fructose corn syrup! Can’t have grate Murrkin food without it!

        • Me not sure

          “Mom, why did my foot fall off after lunch?”

      • cmd resistor

        Hey I just ate a croissant with canned cheese whiz type stuff on it. It was to soak up the wine I had to drink because of THESE ASSHOLES>

        • Me not sure

          Totally reasonable.

    • Jukesgrrl

      That’s hilarious … you ARE kidding, right??

  • What would I do without you folks, who can still make me laugh in spite of the country’s death spiral!

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Thanks Evan. I needed a laugh.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    It feels like they are projecting their obession with Michelle Obama onto us. I can only speak for myself. But i dont give a shit what Melania Trump does or she read a prayer. The RWNJ seem to think the Left are vampires or demons who recoil in horror at prayers or bible verses

    • tomamitai

      Whatever you do, don’t drink the holy water!

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        Yeah, that was a rough night, believe me

  • SayItWithOtters

    WTF did he do to his hair this weekend?

    • Suse

      It was certainly a different look for him.

  • chascates

    And I will pray (Psalm 44:19):
    Yet You have crushed us in a place of jackals
    And covered us with the shadow of death.

  • Suse

    Earlier today, I saw a clip of Best Husband in the World leaving Malaria behind on the plane stairs when arriving in FL over the weekend. He then got in the limo on the closest side and wouldn’t move his fat ass over for her. She walked around the back of the car and got in on the other side.

    • PubOption

      Perhaps she’s realized that, if he falls down the steps and she’s holding his hand, she is going down as well.

    • DahBoner

      The Goldwater Rule my ass, what more do Psychiatrists need to diagnose this guy?

      (Considering how Psychiatrists don’t actually measure anything in person)

      • Suse

        Body language experts have been analyzing their interactions and say this marriage is a very unhappy one. Melania does not like him and he treats her as an object.

        • cmd resistor

          I can’t imagine how any marriage with this guy could be even bearable, much less happy.

          • Old Man Yells at Cloud

            According to Google Maps, there are 226 mile markers that make it more bearable on Mon through Fri. .

        • HarpyLibtart

          Nobody likes him, though…his own daughter flinches a little bit when he gets too close and I’m pretty sure either one of his sons would smother him in his sleep if they thought they’d still stand to inherit afterwards.
          I have to say though, gold-diggers don’t get enough respect, there’s not enough money on this entire planet of Earth that would prevent me from fleeing in a haze of hysterical vomit from the sight of naked Trump.

          • Wee Mousie

            Haze of Hysterical Vomit will be the name of my new Heavy Metal Band.

          • Grrrr…

            OH, I just had an image of his vein-y, pale, old-man feet with brittle yellowed toenails …

        • DahBoner

          The beatings will continue until Melania morale improves?

    • freckles

      I saw a video of the Trumps walking in the rain, with Trump walking ahead with the umbrella over his own head and Melania walking behind, getting soaked.
      Did you see the video where Trump walked up the stairs to greet the Obamas, leaving Melania to manage the stairs by herself in 5″ heels, while carrying a present for the Obamas?
      Trump cares about himself, money, and Ivanka, in that order.

      • Suse

        Yes, and the Obamas were appalled. I didn’t see the rain incident. He’s a pig (apologies to actual piggies).

        • cmd resistor

          There’s also a photo floating around of him walking with Pam Bondi (Fla. AG who took a campaign donation and then didn’t go after him for Trump U stuff, in the rain, and he had the umbrella and didn’t cover her. Now I am not one of those people who think men necessarily have to be Sir Galahad and put the coat in the gutter and all that. But I think if you are walking with someone in the rain and you have an umbrella and they don’t then you should share.

          • 333tenant

            That would require recognizing that other walking lump of meat as a “person”

      • cmd resistor

        I did.

    • cmd resistor

      I saw that as well. Now I don’t know for sure because I don’t remember anyone noticing but I bet Obama never did that to Michelle.

    • Grrrr…

      Someone needs to compile a reel of these moments of husbandly thoughtfulness.

  • DahBoner
  • Begin Anew Day

    These two are going to give praying a bad name.

    Yippppeeeeee!

    • cmd resistor

      I’ve never been a big fan of public praying. Ok, if you are a minister or something. Once my old liberal church roped me into doing the “Prayer for the World” in a church service and I swear it was the shortest prayer ever given in that church, something to the effect of God, help those who need it.

      • Wee Mousie

        I’m a big fan of silent prayer on occasions like this.

        • gffish

          I’ve been silently praying that the pussy-grabber-in-chief would be swallowed by an alligator while playing golf at his Florida resort, but so far my prayer request has not been fulfilled. I guess I will have to keep praying.

          • Wee Mousie

            On my twenty-first birthday, i concluded that the efficacy of prayer rated about as high as the Federal Trade Commission rated the efficacy of Geritol.

            FYI, both of these events occurred in 1965.

      • AJ Milne

        Neither was a certain extremely prominent Christian figure much of a fan, according to Matthew, at least…

        … The conventional interpretation, as I recall, is he was thinking specifically of scenes like this one.

  • DahBoner

    A nation committed to civility by all sides of the political spectrum
    https://media1.giphy.com/media/56y6BgLqIUVUc/200w.gif

  • freckles

    Trump, Mr. “Two Corinthians”, also stated he didn’t think he had done anything for which he should ask God’s forgiveness. Neither he, nor Melania, or Christians, but a couple of hypocritical fakes.

  • James Lamere

    I look forward to the night-rallies –TORCHLIGHTS AND TRUMPSHIRTS MARCHING WITH THE DIVINE WILL OF GOD AGAINST THE ENEMY!!!

  • lageorgia

    Just want to be snarky enough to point out that supposedly the Trumps are Presbyterian USA…like me…but the version of the Lord’s Prayer she rattled off is the Catholic version. We say forgive our debts as we forgive our debtors. It’s the Catholics who say trespass against us. Of course being such great Presbyterians they aren’t aware of the difference or maybe they are rebelling since the Presbyterian USA has publicly stated nope never heard of the Trumps. They are members of no Presbyterian church, never tithe, never darken the doors.

    • freckles

      Methodists also say “trespasses”.

      • cmd resistor

        I grew up Lutheran and seem to remember both versions. But maybe “debts” is part of the song. WHICH KEEPS RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD WHEN I READ ABOUT THIS!! 1

      • Marcia Thomason

        I went to baptist churches as a kid..trespass was used..

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Actually the Presbyterians are the only one who say debts- I was raised in the Presbyterian church so I remember it this way- its way more important to a good Scotsman to forgive a debt than it is to forgive a trespass.

      • “Debts” is in the King James Version, hence Anglican, etc., and very many culturally fundamentalist groups (including Mormons). If you want to see truly scary fanaticism, check out the King James Only movement (KJO) which holds that the English of the KJV is a more accurate expression of God’s word than the original Hebrew & Greek versions. Remember the pastors burning Korans 6+ years ago? Most of the books they burned were non-KJV bibles, & biblical scholars like Bruce Metzger, Raymond Brown & the Pope.

      • The Flaming Carrot

        No true Scotsman would do that!

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          I see what you did there!

    • phoenix00

      The one I recite every Sunday goes like this:

      Our Father, Thou art in Heaven
      Hallowed be thy name
      Thy kingdom come thy will be done
      On earth as it is in Heaven
      Give us this day our daily bread
      And forgive our trespasses
      as we forgive those who trespass against us
      And lead us from temptation but deliver us from evil
      Amen.

      (yes I am Roman Catholic)

      • BouncyFlyer

        The Lutheran Church, Missouri Synod (my former denom) also used “trespasses” when I was still going to church, so there’s that.

    • MississippiLefty

      It’s not Catholic if they did the “For thine is the kingdom, the power, the glory” bit, which I wouldn’t know because I couldn’t watch it. But I do know that the Catholics finish with “deviler us from evil.”

      • EvilHRLady

        Old school catholics will still do for thine is the kingdom, etc.

  • Debra Dassow

    Reading the Lord’s Prayer must be on page 438 of her pre-nup.

    • lageorgia

      He promised her a new pair of shoes and not to touch her for another month if she read the prayer

      • lvginclp

        A perfect opportunity for a Russian hooker pee session!

  • Sir Ergot of Rye

    That was some crowd. What was it, about 150,000? Swear to gawd when the knuckle draggers got ahead of her in the recitation I was certain by her body language she was dying to shout “shut up you inbred motherfuckers this is my speech.”

    • freckles

      Reports say 9,000–about 1/3 of what his campaigns got.

      • Jukesgrrl

        They got the number 9,000 from the organizers who say they handed out that many tickets. It seems never to have occurred to the media that “the other side” may have been smart enough to order tickets and then NOT SHOW UP. Of course, they could always LOOK and then say to themselves, “That doesn’t look like 9,000 people to me.” But, no, that would require thought, instead of just reading press releases, and yeah, I’m talking to you, MSNBC so-called reporter, not just freckles.

        • cmd resistor

          I remember reading before the thing that capacity for that hangar and/or previous crowd there was 8500. At one point they said they were going to have people outside with jumbotrons but I don’t know if they did or not.

          • freckles

            Anti-Trump protesters (YAY for them!) were outside. Trump offered free tickets, offered to pay people to come, and he got MUCH less attendance than before.

          • cmd resistor

            I read there were somewhere between 1 and 2000 anti-Trump people there. And a nice little group of them saw him off lining the streets of the motorcade to the airport yesterday in WPB. But he has the best crowds….

        • Wee Mousie

          Perhaps they totalled up the weight of the audience and divided by an average person’s weight. An average person weighs 57 pounds, right?

        • Grrrr…

          At least one woman on Twitter posted that she’d nabbed 2 tix for that reason. Heh heh.

        • glennisw

          Any kind of free event is going to have a non-attendance rate of about 10 – 20% of distributed tickets. That’s pretty standard in crowd management circles.

    • phoenix00

      It’s 1.5 million.

  • freckles

    It looks as though Melania is going blond–like bleached blonds Ivanka and Tiffany.

    • M.E. Lawrence

      OMG, you’re right. But we all know that blond people are superior; that’s why the schmuck is so worried about those adorable Swedes, terrorized by Non-Blond Peoples.

      • Keith Taylor

        I thought Trump supporters and right-wing Christianoids just hated Sweden and the whole Swedish nation, royal family and culture. Blue-eyed blondes or not. The Westboro Baptist Church sure does.

      • Grrrr…

        Well, in not-her-defense-but-the-defense-of-blonde-ing-after-40: Very dark hair against fair skin starts to look creepy, for a variety of reasons, and the traditional “wisdom” of hairdressers used to be “Lighten your hair.” (Of course, allowing gray to be gray is also a good move w/ regard to flattering hair/skin combo.)
        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4c9c7a5f05b42941efa340d7fd103a9671e44cb2fa9c6793408f7eaf08c82678.jpg

        • cleos_mom

          I have extra-extra white skin and for a short time last year left off the black hair coloring, figuring it was no longer flattering at my age.

          Then a few months later I looked in the mirror at that “light” (used to be called “mousey”) brown hair and the mutual canceling-out of any indication that said skin and hair are part of a living organism, and made a pilgrimage into town for some Clairol. Sometimes it’s just a case-by-case thing.

    • fuck you all. speaking as a bottle blond fuck you all.

      (yeah she does. but that’s what we all do – and i started as an actual real blond until i was like 35. now sadly, it’s all up to sassoon).

      • ahughes798

        As a real blond, I don’t mind that my hair is graying one bit. It’s turning silver blond. My neighbor, who is ten years younger than I am, keeps her yellow/orange-ish ultra bottle blond because she’s scared to death of ageing. She has beautiful skin, it always looks like she has a light tan, due to her Cherokee heritage. The yellow hair doesn’t look right. Her niece and I finally convinced her to put some darker low-lights on it, and now it looks really good!

        • Actually I WAS a real blond til i hit about 35. Not really sure how it’s aged at this point (i keep it similar to my original color so I HOPE it still works).

          My BFF – never a blond – let her hair go silver and uses a purple-ish rinse. It is ABSOLUTELY spectacular. Not sure i have the coloring for it, but it’s a knock out.

          • ahughes798

            I always thought blond was kind of a boring colour, and could never figure out why it was “the best” color to have. I was always envious of gingers! You should keep the colour you like! Not that I keep up with fashion, but at Dr.’s office I read what magazines are there, and I guess this year, grey is in! People are actually paying other people to turn their hair grey! Trump turns my hair grey, for free! But yes, when I go totally grey I’ll probably do some whacked out color/s to it. Back in the punk rock days we used Kool-Aid, or Manic Panic if we could afford it.

    • Grrrr…

      I think she’s going orange-in-the-skin.

    • cleos_mom

      And like all the tall skinny blonde women he had arranged behind him at his rallies. I believe someone here at Wonkette suggested that “Hillary” install something similar.
      ..
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/14b11b29e7399134c7ba9d22fa12c29825336ea28831974899efce509dbc0853.jpg

  • there was literally none of this that wasn’t creepy.

    mostly trump. but still all the rest of it.

  • Lancelot Link

    Dinesh D’Souza wrote an entire book attacking Obama’s close relationship with the pastor of the church he attended.

    • freckles

      You mean CONVICTED FELON Dinesh D’Souza?

      • TheAmazingAmateurHousekeeper

        Do you think all CONVICTED FELONS are permanently bad people? Some CONVICTED FELONS get their shit together, or don’t do additional stupid illegal things for years, decades even, as in the rest of their lives.

        • foreign agitator Captain Kraut

          Sure. And then there’s Dinesh.

          • Wee Mousie

            Also, too, about that tweet Dinesh D’Souza posted. I don’t think the Lord’s Prayer is supposed to be in-your-face. My hazy recollection from Sunday school informs me that Jesus used it as an example of how to pray to God, not as a weapon.

            The Cambridge English Dictionary defines “in your face” as something done in “a direct, often rude way that is annoying and cannot be ignored.”

            D’Souza may be correct, but he’s just lucky Hair Furor can’t tell a dictionary from a dick.

        • Grrrr…

          Please — you know that we draw a distinction between white-collar greedhead “no excuse for continually grinding others into the dirt” convicted felons and nice, normal people who faced shitty life circs or made a situation-specific mistake.

      • gffish

        Make that CONVICTED FELON and adulterer Dinesh D’Souza.

  • wavicles

    Himself says that he didn’t know she was gonna say the prayer? Does nobody tell him ANYTHING?

  • Marcia Thomason

    nobody cares

    • Disagree, apparently Joe does not pay his child support and dinesh I am still relevent really Doucha care VERY MUCH!!!! So very much that they have decided to claim the left gives a rat’s ass about the lady reciting a prayer at her husband’s (who was just inaugurated, totally normal!) campaign rally.

      • ahughes798

        Let’s forget the child support thing about Piss Flap Joe, (because he did miss less than a year’s worth of child support payments when his youngest child was 17, soon to be 18)he did worse things…had his drivers license suspended twice, got busted driving w/o a license, got foreclosed on, and said outright racist and dishonourable things about Tammy Duckworth and her service to our country.

        It’s exceedingly strange that Repigs can insult veterans with impunity, and there are no real consequences for such. Max Clelland, John McCain, the Khan family, etc.

  • DuchessD’Orleans

    You motherfuckers did NOT warn me about the Lee Greenwood so that I could get my vomit bucket before hitting play. Now there is vomit on the floor and my dog is happily eating it. BAD JOB.

    • ahughes798

      The stable I used to ride at had an equestrian drill team. This is not the same as egg’s dancing horse, that’s called dressage. Anyway, equestrian drill teams are a group of riders who choreograph their horse’s movements to songs. It is a test of the rider’s control of their horse, and the horses ability to trust their rider even though the riders are carrying big, scary, flapping flags. They compete with other equestrian drill teams. The drill team at the stable I used to ride at used Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless the USA” as the song they’d perform to. Every. Single. Time. Made me sick.

  • this poor child is so in over her head (no pun intended) – and she may be a russian plant, but i feel sorry for her. and no, i’m not excusing – anything. but if i were a gorgeous eastern european model coming to america for my fortune, i would think getting donald j trump would be the short stick.

    ick.

    • Grrrr…

      Right???? NYC is freakin filled with rich men who are less loathsome. Why on EARTH go for Dump?????
      Episode of Frasier, in which wedding to sugar daddy doesn’t come to pass:

      Well, you know, Bebe, there are other [men] out there, better ones! Richer, older… impotent!

  • handyhippie65

    “pube gremlins” BWAHAHAHAHAHA! we can always count on evan to make us smile with totally accurate, and absolutely on the spot descriptions of dumpy’s handbasket to hell. i doff my cap to you sir.

  • zeusspeaks

    So this phony Christian thing is still a thing?

    • Rickyphoo

      God or whomever helps us, yes!

      One of my very “Christian” relatives posted a picture of a very Aryan Jesus with suitcases in his hands with the caption, “Jesus is returning to the White House!”

      I was, at the same time, amused that anyone could be that stupid and outraged that they were insinuating that the Obamas, and by extension all Democrats, were some how evil.

      This country is so fucking broken.

      • cleos_mom

        If Jesus lived in the White House, I doubt he’d be carrying his own suitcases anyway. ;-)

        • freckles

          Jesus didn’t need any suitcases–all He owned was what He wore. And these fake holier-than-thou so-called “Christians” drive me nuts–I bet they’re driving Jesus nuts, too.

  • Mary Stone

    The only thing making me wish to hurl right now is the song they’re walking onstage to. BAAARRRFFFFFF.

  • This is the first I’ve read about this. They use any excuse to gin up false outrage.

  • Wee Mousie

    Hair Furor’s mouth was immobile on “for Thine is” but he went BIG on “the Power and Glory.”

    I can’t be sure, of course, but I think he might have been praying to himself.

  • Keith Taylor

    What does that smirk on Donald Trump’s face mean? Is he perhaps thinking, “Silly Melania, you should be reading the Lord’s Prayer backwards. That’s what we devil-worshippers do.”? No. Can’t be that. He cannot even read anything forwards.

  • Old Man Yells at Cloud

    Yet again Malaria repeats the words of another. Sad!

    • Rickyphoo

      Up fist for “Malaria”!

  • jesuswasablack
    • Grrrr…

      …. that we don’t get bikini-wax-itch during this photo shoot.

      I accept that the pendulum will swing in politics — but from the bright, dedicated, funny, self-aware, dignified, actually-family-focused Obamas to these .. these … what is even a noun to describe them? (I know that that sentiment has been uttered ad nauseam — but it just re-hits me and re-hits me. Literally my heart hurts.)

      • Eileen Besse

        VERY sad emoji, I wish I had one right now….

  • freakishlypersistent

    Not watching, can’t look at the sphincter mouth, but the third trophy wife of an admitted pussy grabber leading that pack of selfish, hateful orcs in prayer to anything other than the thing to the right of her must be pure gold..

  • phoenix00

    Are those white people holding those felt-marker “blacksfortrump2020.com” signs?

  • Grokenstein

    I happened to be in the breakroom when Melanoma’s ‘performance’ of the Lord’s Prayer was on the teevee. I’m afraid I neglected to fulfill my duty as a liberal to pitch a fit over it, but I will confess to snickering to myself at both the pathetic attempt at using religion as a trolling device (as noted and celebrated by D’Sousa and Walsh) and her painfully clumsy card-read of something she had clearly never uttered before in her life.

    One of my coworkers who professes to be the most devout Jesusian in the workplace did comment on the pleasing qualities of her torso, though.

  • rick

    It’s so fucking gross that Mr. Two Corinthians is pandering to the skye faerie nuts.

  • TimJ

    First Lady in-your-face! This is what modern conservatism has come to…

    • rick

      Imagine Michelle in their face – they’d be screaming, crying, gnashing their teeth, and having hissy fits.

      • TimJ

        Short memories…we all remember Michelle being in-your-face about kids eating more healthy school lunches. I do like Walsh though; he sends a tweet, doesn’t get much reaction, sends it again. Lame!

  • AJ Milne

    (Reads Donnie’s lips….)

    ‘Dullard is in Shetland
    Ice shell not won
    Mistakes with he July pounding greed masters
    She deplores my taco bowls
    She bleeds from her wherevers like rare steak
    Shirley, Gladys and Percy shall wallow pee Stalingrad days of delight
    And ISIL gels in the house overlords whatever.

    Ramen.’

  • Carpe Vagenda

    I can’t really imagine that either of them would be too happy if their trespasses were only forgiven to the extent that either of them forgives those who trespass against them, but that’s their nevermind.

    So, is that twitchy’s thing? I surfed past them earlier today and the article was about someone on the left getting DRAMATICALLY PWNED by three randos disagreeing with them on twitter

  • Skaarphy

    Here follows one thing that I’m entirely sure of, and one thing that I find not at all unlikely:
    1. Melania is so fucking glad that Trump now has to go to Washington for the week days. If nothing else, that look on inauguration day spoke volumes.
    2. Come a few months/years she will have a secret affair with a Secret Service agent (and 30 years from now they will make a movie about it: “Melania Trump – Love in the Times of Hate”).

    Also (too), I found her recitation really, really charming.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Ivana washed the sharpie he favors off her face, went out and bought herself a series of increasingly young hardbodied italian men with whom she ate pasta. That seems like an appropriate response.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        My Ivana story: I’m waiting for a table on the patio/sidewalk at Cipirani’s Soho, as one does, and here comes Ivana swanning down the sidewalk, a vision is pale suede and furs. She is smiling and waving at me so of course I’m smiling and waving back. My man pokes me in the ribs and says, her driver is behind you, you dope. So much for me among the swells. Postscript: They wouldn’t let us anywhere near a table, being plebes and all…

    • cleos_mom

      You can bet that the incident where he walked up the White House steps, leaving her standing at the car door, was typical.

  • Rickyphoo

    That smug smile in the second pictures seems to be saying, “These rubes will believe anything!”

    And you know what? He’s right, those cheering assholes are rubes who can’t see they are being played.

  • Stulexington

    Actually if she muddled her way through a passage of the Koran I’d be baffled and confused. Maybe it’s because I’m a moderate? I can’t see liberals being anything but confused either though.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I’m a little horrified that they’re trying to turn her into the nation’s mom, given Trump’s mommy issues.

  • Me not sure

    I try not to criticize Melania too much. She seems like a prop in this egotistical shit show. I only hope that if she gets fed up with it, that she has enough inside dirt to bring this oaf down.

    • The Flaming Carrot

      Part of me believes she sprang this on him purposely so that his Christian supporters would see that he doesn’t in fact know the words to a prayer they’ve been reciting since birth. Naturally, they didn’t.

    • keenanjay

      She seems more a hostage than willing participant. Of course, Stockholm syndrome was named for that thing that happened in Sweden.

    • mailman27

      She’s prolly NDA’d to hell and back.

      • Me not sure

        She needs to secretly stash as much cash as she can in Switzerland or the Caymans, rat him out and then get out of the country as quickly as possible.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      The person we really need to talk to is Marla Maples. She’s got tax returns I’d like to see.

  • kaydenpat

    Melania and Trump are as Christian as my two Boxer dogs. This is a show for their Rightwing base.

  • Tom Mears

    I noticed those nice white-trash boys were helping out ‘the blacks’ again by holding their signs while ‘the blacks,’ who are for trump in 2020 took a bathroom break.

    • Cleo_Cat

      Trump is the only one who uses “Blacks” like that. As in “the blacks love me.” Reminds one of Apartheid.

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  • AJ Milne

    Hrm. Matthew 6 6 oddly coming to mind…

    I’m not sure how the idiom works in this case… Would Jesus be spinning not-in-his-grave?

  • Abby Normal

    Literally, no one is talking about this aside from the right. I don’t think anyone give a fuck.

    Anyone else think it’s a little demented how trumpers seem to delight in doing anything that they think might piss off liberals?

    Like that’s their only motivation.

    • cleos_mom

      Well there is this no-comment venue, where we’re pointing and laughing, and not exclusively at Melania.

    • Dianne McAmes

      Oh, they’re not trying to piss off the left…they are trying to pump up the right. And it doesn’t take much of anything to do that. Just a couple of lies.

    • MuttsRule

      Yeah, really. She could have sung a Te Deum in Latin for all we care (although that would have been very impressive).

  • Cleo_Cat

    Our Fuhrer, who art incompetent, Donald be thy name . . .

    • cleos_mom

      I remember being quite mystified by the word “hallowed” when I learned the LP at age 5 or so.

      And then there was that matter of “Our Father, Who Aren’t In Heaven.” I figured that was reference to God being everywhere (he aren’t just in heaven, he’s all over the place), although I never did figure out why God was so ungrammatical. No one in our family or on TV talked like that.

      • The Flaming Carrot

        LOL. This sounds like a Junie B. Jones narrative. Just as cute as puppies and kittens, in my humble opinion.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        My own childhood literalism had me imagining God at an easel. I mean, obviously, he had to paint the world into existence, right? Art in heaven, indeed.

  • The Flaming Carrot

    “I didn’t know Melania was going to be saying the Lord’s Prayer.” Yeah, obviously, because then he would have gotten cue cards instead of chiming in on the words “temptation,” “power,” and “glory.”

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      To be fair, those are the only three words in the whole thing that he’s familiar with or likes.

  • ImPEECH!

    I can’t say “pube gremlins” without sputtering.

  • Magic Juan

    She can’t seem to stumble through reading anything she writes can she. Always got to be someone else’s work.

    • ahughes798

      Nah, that’s a European thing. It’s how friend’s greet friends. Not sure I need to see Don giving Melly the tongue.

  • cleos_mom

    The horrors that reared their heads at the Bowling Green and Swedish Meatball Massacres pale in comparison to the long-term damage done by Michelle’s sleeveless dresses (21st century incarnations of Jackie Kennedy’s “little nothing” numbers). Not in the same league with Melanoma’s tasteful and elegant “nothing on but the radio” images, not a-tall.

    What I’d like to hear is Donnie Frederickovitch reciting either the 10 Commandments or the Lord’s Prayer without a teleprompter or Sarah Palin-style crib notes. Betcha no way he could do it without generating unintentional comedy.

    • Alexander Stallwitz

      I know you are being sarcastic but i listened to a older lady i volunteer with say “thank god, this first lady will wear dresses with sheeves, Shes a lot classer than the previous one” i sighed loudly and walked away

  • Opiwan

    I don’t know if anyone below mentioned it already, but what makes my face go “WHAAAA?” the most about this video are the very-badly-mass-produced Black 5 for Trump 2020 signs (I know, I know, it’s ‘blacks’ but for real…) in the background held by nothing but whitey-whities. Could care less about BOOM IN YOUR FACE praying or whatever the eff this is supposed to be about…

    • nightmoth

      $20 each? $5?

      • Opiwan

        I’m guessing six pack… Of Natty Ice

        • nightmoth

          At least they got some laughs out of it.

        • Fritz1964

          Ooh. Bringing out the Balmer good stuff!

          • Opiwan

            Nahhh, that’d be da Natty Boh, dere, hon! Natty Ice (Natural Ice) was what we children of the late 70s drank at frat parties in the late 90s at college when ice beer was all the rage… It tasted like rat piss, only worse, because it was almost always served warm!

    • glennisw

      Go check the url. It’s a real crazy conspiracy site. Any White House advance team or protocol officer who’d let that come within a mile’s distance of being associated with the image of a FLOTUS is a blithering incompetent idiot. Trump sure does hire the best!

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Well to be fair Melania did say “oh god” a lot in her previous occupation…

  • nightmoth

    At least the “deliver us from evil” was on target.

    • Too late for that.

    • NotConvinced

      When it comes to evil, Trump is delivering.

  • Mr. Rodríguez

    If I was close to her and had a glove on, why i’d…

  • ahughes798

    I thought she did fine. Was I supposed to be outraged that some conservative’s wife read the Lord’s Prayer? It’s my favorite piece of writing in the Babble, and I’d stumble over it, too.

    • H0mer0

      [it’s projection all the time with these assholes. Perhaps THEY were embarrassed. I tend to find accents charming except for his]

    • bluegal

      As a liberal and church going Christian (and Divinity School graduate if you’re going to get technical about it DINESH) I thought SHE was fine. Making her do that was NOT. I’m also phenomenally relieved and supportive that Melania decided to keep Michelle Obama’s gardens intact. Because if she didn’t, this Christian gal was going to have to cut a bitch, forgive us our trespassers but NOT ON MICHELLE’S GARDEN FUCKER.

      • ahughes798

        I feel bad for her, then I don’t, because she was an illegal immigrant who is now against illegal immigrants, which a lot of illegal immigrants covered by Reagan’s blanket amnesty are, also. I guess I feel bad because she’s married to an asshole who doesn’t so much love her as view her as a trophy.

        • Lord Jim

          Was it a forced marriage? Just sayin’…

      • Lord Jim

        The problem I have (as a fellow Christian) is that I believe that the whole deal was really about pandering, not piety.

  • Olav_Pompatus

    Clapping after the Lord’s Prayer? I thought “Play Ball!” was the sacred response.

    • H0mer0

      [that’s the national anthem. thanks for setting that one up.]

  • r jones

    Heaven forbid he should bow his head in contemplation, which used to be what Jesusy people did.

    • freckles

      But he didn’t, r jones, he looked down, he looked up, he watched his minions. He DID NOT “bow his head in contemplation” — he was watching to see his minions’ reactions.

  • JBenningfield

    I though it was a stunt and a terribly unfair one. She should not have to serve as one of Trump’s faux rally props. #FreeMelania Also, people can just get bent. I saw that tweet from Dinesh. What a tool.

    • imageWIS

      Dinesh is more than a tool: he’s a philandering, corrupt lying criminal.

      • Fritz1964

        …and a criminal. But that’s a badge of honor for such pathetic deplorables.

  • lucidamente

    I don’t know why Melania Trump had so much trouble with this prayer. After all, she wrote it.

  • SullivanSt

    Good grief… I’m an atheist and I know the Lord’s Prayer by heart. And not just to try to mouth along with.

    • Fritz1964

      I still stumble between the “debtors” and “trespassers” versions.

      • Lord Jim

        There’s a more concise version in Luke 11:2-3, for the memory-impaired. XD

  • jangoodell

    Loved the big open-armed hug #45 gave his wife when she finished. He didn’t? Well, he started to.

    • Cubanz

      every chance I get I kiss my wife on the lips. that cheek shite is for my friend’s wives. just sayin…

      • H0mer0

        he probably saves the sloppy wet ones and pussy grabs for his friends’ wives (your friend has more than one wife at a time or do you have one married friend at a time?)/s

  • maggiemoo

    Hey Dinesh, can one have a face without a chin?

  • Fritz1964

    I have to wonder: if SCROTUS had read the Lord’s Prayer, might he have spontaneously burst into flames?

  • Aileen

    Full disclosure, I’m a total atheist, but I’m pretty sure the bible has advice about this very “praying in public so others can see you” situation! https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+6%3A1-34&version=ESV

    • Ducksworthy

      One of the points the on which the New Testament is quite explicit, as opposed to those to which Jesus makes no reference like abortion and stoning the LGBT’s. Right there with the admonition to “pay your fucking taxes asshole.”

  • Watched the video. Wow, I’d guess _not_ her fault, but that was pretty awful. A bizarro shitshow it was, from the PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN anthem through the liar’s shy, ill-prepared trophy wife mumblings which seemed not quite English– all the way to the applause capping a fortnight in which tens of thousands of immigrants–many of them naturalized citizens like Melania who unlike Melania never worked here illegally–– were tormented by this evil buffoon she married. It isn’t liberalism to want the government to make some sense, nor is it conservatism to reject the notion of Federal Judges and demand that no one ever question the PeeOTUS. Unions, helping the poor, clean water and a separation of church and state were all built into both of Eisenhower’s GOP platforms, the platforms supporting the very “greatness” anyone living might recall. Please, encourage everyone to visit registertovote.org. And in 2018 ignore the polls, and vote. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/afb628fba182cf9b6cd23e53609d79dacc9bf389348b33f0dac67dda992c1200.png

    • H0mer0

      needs moar bald eagle attacking his small hands.

  • glennisw

    Walsh and the despicable D’Souza love nothing more than being pre-emptive victims.

  • JayGoldenBeach

    Who will play Melania and Donald in the Andrew Lloyd Weber musical?!

    • Shoto

      Scott Baio and Michele Bachmann? Just spitballin’.

      • DonnaDiva

        Stacey Dash could play her.

      • irishdave3

        But where can Scott get a new Ivanka purse now, huh, huh?

    • Peripatetic Poltroon

      Ru Paul and Danny Devito. With Mr. Ed as Mike Pence.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Ann Coulter and Jim Hoft of course.

    • spacecat in space

      If Laura Benanti didn’t get the role of Melania sans audition, I’d have to punch ALW right in his talent-free face.

      Trump can be played by a flatulent hog, obv.

  • Shoto

    Ms. Editrix tweeter-punches Deadbeat Joe right in his wingnut moran piehole.

    And by the by, what is this mysterious “The Left” that wingnuts keep referring to?

  • I was amazed that with all that Botox-she can even speak.

  • Who has to READ the Lord’s prayer?

    • C4TWOMAN

      Eh, someone who wasn’t raised with the English version.
      Mind, I know the “Silent Night” in German and I only took one year, so this kinda thing varies. Proof Melon is a godless heathen?

  • Husband Of Mrs God

    The guy waving the Blacks For Trump 2020 sign is a cracker, whiter than bread.

  • Nyumbu

    I didn’t hear any stumbling but why do I keep seeing this ad overlaying the video offering a free book about the anti-christ?

  • MikeyArmstrong

    Dinesh wanted to say ‘it left the left’ so bad that he can taste it.

  • KBadger

    Besides his weird mouth movements, I very much enjoyed the little swaying movement he had going to calm himself.

  • Laura911

    Right, because there’s no prayer more devout than an “in your face” prayer.

  • Lord Jim

    Reading from the Christian Scriptures in front of a crowd of supporters? Not a revolutionary act. I believe the Left might very well have applauded Mel for reading a Muslim prayer in front of a crowd of christianista bigots. THAT would have been an act of courage.

  • Marla

    She should stick to reading trophy placards since she is one herself.

  • Tara P.

    Please stop using the word “pussy” as a euphemism for people who are weak. Are you unfamiliar with how pussies work? Seriously, it just makes you look stupid. You can do better.

    • Mr Canoehead

      As Betty White famously said, they can take a poundin’.
      How about, instead of pussies, we call ’em nutsacks? Because they’re ugly, wrinkly, sparse-haired, and incredibly sensitive.

  • irishdave3

    AS he tells it..2 Corinthians walk into the 2 Psalms leather Bar on the road to Damascus ad ask if there are 2 Johns…and then come out and tell the barkeep Melanomia (Secret Service …Escort code named Melons) told US to have our debt forgiven!

  • irishdave3

    Also, can’t she give him some “runway walking” lessons? No, wait..is that like dodging sniper fire….

  • Shelli Kae

    Crybaby pube gremlins! Fuck me but that is classic!
    In a normal household in America, if a foreigner were married to an English speaking American you would think the old accent would unthicken a bit. But when your married to a much older sub-human with the vocabulary of a 3 year old and an inability to talk about anything but how wonderful your brain is and your words are and all the LOSERS hatin’ on you because they know your IQ is so much higher than theirs (NOT!) I doubt Melania has had much practice with normal English conversations. Her accent should get better now that Baron is old enough to converse with her.
    I can’t tolerate looking at Trump long enough to see him mouth Watermelon, Watermelon, Watermelon to the Lord’s Prayer but I did notice he reminded me of Bob Barker taking the stage on The Price is Right. Almost jumping up and down, pointing at his adoring fans. He just disgusts me. Also, after hearing some of the WH leaks about the staff only showing him the positive tweets and such I’m betting they have to keep paying the same old people to follow Trump around and scream like idiots when he jumps on stage. The familiar faces in the crowd would explain the pointing and blowing kisses at the audience. Did I mention Trump makes me sick?

  • BillEGoatSmirk

    I’m a little late to this thread, but did anyone catch the short, but noticeable death stare/cringe from Melania when Donnie Small Hands touched her? It’s the first 14 seconds before she starts the ‘prayer’.

  • Mr Canoehead

    Interestingly, these are the lines immediately before the Lord’s Prayer:

    5 “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.

    6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

    7 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.

    8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

    Like I keep saying, someone needs to bring the teachings of Jesus to the Christians.
    (I think verse 7 may be specifically for Donald.)

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