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Donald Trump had a press conference with Israeli Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu today, and because the press has found its balls all of a sudden someone actually asked Donald Trump about the rise of (public) anti-Semitism, and how his campaign and administration have played footsie with all those “alt-right” (Nazi) racist frogs. Whaaaaat? We KNOW!

Since your election campaign and even after your victory, we’ve seen a sharp rise in anti-Semitic, anti-Semitic incidents across the United States. And I wonder what do you say to those in the Jewish community in the States and in Israel and maybe around the world who believe and feel that maybe your administration is playing with xenophobia and maybe racist tones?

Oh, haha, we forgot. That press person is a FOREIGN press person, with a suspiciously strange accent. American balls are still right where they have always been: in Kellyanne Conway’s makeup bag, right where they’d left them!

Nonetheless, Donald Trump, the president of the United States, searched inside himself for an answer.

“I have seen what you are talking about,” he said soberly. “During the campaign, a number of young people took it upon themselves to unleash anti-Semitic hatred on reporters, using Nazi tropes and memes wishing people into ovens. And since my own beloved daughter converted to Judaism, I’ve been faced with the fact that there are dark corners of the Internet dedicated to wiping out people like her and my beautiful grandchildren. This is not only a shame, it is a shanda. I categorically reject anyone who says they’re on our side — like David Duke, and Stephen Bannon — who would use that hatred for political gain.”

Haha, Wonkette just did Fake News at you, like a common Wonkette! (You could tell because the sentences’ clauses were all complete.) Here is what Donald Trump, the president of the United States, actually said:

Well, I just want to say that we are, you know, very honored by the victory that we had. 306 electoral college votes. We were not supposed to 220. You know that, right? There was no way to 221, but then they said there’s no way to 270. An there’s tremendous enthusiasm out there.

I will say that we are going to have peace in this country. We are going to stop crime in this country. We are going to do everything within our power to stop long-simmering racism and every other thing that’s going on, because a lot of bad things have been taking place over a long period of time. I think one of the reasons I won the election is we have a very, very divided nation. Very divided. And hopefully I’ll be able to do something about that. It was something that was very important to me.

As far as people, Jewish people, so many friends, a daughter who happens to be here right now, a son-in-law, and three beautiful grandchildren. I think that you’re going to see a lot different United States of America over the next three, four, or eight years. I think a lot of good things are happening, and you’re going to see a lot of love. You’re going to see a lot of love. OK? Thank you.

It’s all about the love! For the beautiful grandchildren, and the short men in yarmulkes counting his money, for the people who bore the vast brunt of the Holocaust … well, maybe not them so much.

In other Trump-Netanyahu press conference news, Donald Trump had thoughts on the Two-State Solution.

“I’m looking at two states and one state, and I like the one both parties like,” Trump told a joint news conference with Netanyahu. “I can live with either one.”

Donald Trump knows as much about the Two-State Solution as he knows about the life and works of Frederick Douglass. Mr. President, you’re doing just a tremendous job!

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  • msanthropesmr

    That Elie Wiesel doing such good work.

  • msanthropesmr

    Your Golda Maier, I keep hearing more and more about.

  • Tim

    A meeting between two hot-headed, nationalist leaders that take action without thinking through the consequences? What could go wrong?!

    • arensb

      We should be fine as long as neither side has nukes.

  • Nounverb911

    “One of my best daughters is Jewish”
    –DJT

    • randomhookup

      I think he would say “My hottest daughter…”

    • aureolaborealis

      “She was always the best! I’m not surprised she converted to Judaism! (You know what they say about Jewish broads … they like to use their mouths, and not just for all that talking!) And no sulking and complaining afterwards, not like that other daughter.”

    • HolidayinCambodia

      At least he didn’t call her a “Jewess.” It would have been awesome if he had, though.

  • msanthropesmr

    To be fair to Donnie, it must be hard to concentrate when ylyour entire administration is inactive dumpster fire.

    • mancityRed6

      “Look at the pretty colors.”
      *Bannon slaps him*
      “Hitler Christ, get ahold of yourself.”

  • mancityRed6

    “American balls are still right where they have always been: in Kellyanne Conway’s makeup bag, right where they’d left them.”
    *checks my non pants*
    nope, right where I left them
    Also:
    “This is not only a shame, it is a shanda.”
    Seriously? It. Is. The. Same. Fucking. Thing.
    Jesus, did his daughter or step son teach him a new word?
    *flips table*

  • Alan

    Quick, how many complete sentences came out of his mouth?

    • Sandy Beaches

      None of them, Katie

      • Alan

        I think I found one. Not that it made any sense.

  • The Wanderer

    As soon as I saw the word “shanda,” I knew you were having us on about Trump.

    • Nounverb911
      • Persistent Demme

        I STILL can’t watch Robin Williams!
        (I wonder if I ever will.)

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “I remember Shanda, beautiful model. Totally wanted me. But I was courting Princess Diana at the time.”
      — Donald Trump

      • sweeper

        “Shanda was a great girl, just great, but her sister Scand was a real vilde chaye.”

        • OneYieldRegular

          “That’s right – the woman is schmata.”

    • calliecallie

      I am such a sucker. I saw that and was incensed, thinking he had actually said it. I should have known better, but Obama really spoiled me. I read what Trump actually says and just despair at the lack of coherent language.

    • arglebargle

      I had it after the first two sentences. Had to skip the rest and go to the spoiler in the next paragraph.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Shandaland is the name of the production company behind Twiter’s TV shows.

  • Iron Monkey

    You are the guys with the Ark of the Convent where the nuns live–you are doing a great job.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    During the campaign, a number of young people took it upon themselves to unleash anti-Semitic hatred on reporters, using Nazi tropes and memes wishing people into ovens.

    Let’s not forget about your “Most corrupt candidate ever!” tweet, asshole. (Not posting here because fuck that noise.)

  • JMP

    Trump’s daughter and grandchildren are Jewish, so he can’t be antisemitic; just like Strom Thurmond couldn’t possibly be a racist because he had a black kid after he raped his family’s maid.

    • sweeper

      And when Kellyanne is an idiot, it’s sexism, because she’s a girl!

  • ViveLaPersistence

    Looks like Puzder’s name may have been withdrawn.

    • The Wanderer

      It were. It’s reported that he said he can’t “Take the abuse.”

      • Latverian Diplomat

        If you can’t take the heat, hire some desperately underemployed people to staff the kitchen.

        • JMP

          It is sad that it looks like the Republicans turned on him over that instead of repeated violations of the labor law he would be enforcing or the domestic violence.

      • ViveLaPersistence

        He should try being one of his own employees.

      • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

        Ha! I think I’ve commented that 3 times here today in the comments which don’t exist, because I just can’t get over it. I really hope he said the word abuse too. Irony was showing a little life there for a second, better make sure it’s still dead.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Skeptical_thinker

      He beat Sister Sarah’s record. He quit before he got the job.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    In a question about anti-Semitism, the only time he uses Jew or Jewish is to talk about himself. Narcissism is a hell of a drug.

    • JMP

      It goes along well with his 0 mentions of Jew/Jewish in his Holocaust Memorial Day statement.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    we have a very, very divided nation. Very divided. And hopefully I’ll be able to do something about that

    Nate Silver says for once, Donald is right about a thing.

  • sweeper

    You know, people are talking more and more about that Rashi guy, he does a great job. He loves me, I’ll have him over for golf.

    • Vicious Babushka

      Somebody get me Ram Bam on the phone.

      • sweeper

        Maybe Rambam could teach him some trope?

  • Iron Monkey

    Trump wouldn’t know a trope or a meme if one bit him on the ass.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Don’t you dare call Melania a trope! I have lawyers!”
      — Donald Trump

      • sweeper

        Uh, Donald, you left out some Ls there. And added an E

  • Crank Tango

    Yeah, “trope” was a dead giveaway.

  • Vicious Babushka

    Can I say that Ivanka and Jared are not real Jews? Can I say that they are Fake Jews, just like Ben “Baby Whiplash” Shapiro says that “leftist” Jews like yr Hasidic Bubbie Vicious Babushka can’t be a “real Jew” because we vote for Democrats and sometimes say the F (not Fake but sounds like it) word on Twitter.

    Can I say Ivanka & Jared are Fake Jews, and to fake them too?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Trump is doing a fine job of faking up this country.

  • Nounverb911

    Pat Oliphant came out of retirement just to do this cartoon just for donnie. (Courtesy Anne Telnaes)

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e46be4ca0eccc672a8878d1351c918f269d0db0cc6f24265a011f1bdddc6d34f.jpg

  • Lefty Frizzell

    “I’m looking at two states and one state, and I like the one both parties like”

    FFS Don, that’s the problem – there isn’t one both parties like! They’ve been trying to find one since biblical times. Get a fucking grip, man!!

    He should def try that answer in Ireland.

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      You’re overthinking this. He has NO idea what the ‘two-state solution’ is, or even which states it refers to. It’s hardly the first time he’s opened his mouth and revealed his utter, utter ignorance.

  • arglebargle

    I’ve been in one state since November 9th. Inebriated.

    • magyar of infinite power

      Denial for me.

      • Querolous

        With the help of some substances I am working on catatonic.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I think that you’re going to see a lot different United States of America over the next three, four, or eight years. I think a lot of good things are happening, and you’re going to see a lot of love. You’re going to see a lot of love.

    So love will trump hate after all? I fucking hope so FFS.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Netanyahu: You can have one state or two states.
    Trump: Can I have both?

    • Nounverb911

      Altered States too, also.

    • magyar of infinite power

      At least he didn’t actually say “All of them, BiBi”

  • Bitter Scribe

    Say what you want about Netanyahu, but he’s as smart, cunning and politically sophisticated as they come. I wonder if he listened to this Chatty Cathy doll we have for a president and thought, “This is our only ally? We are so fucked!”

    • Roadstergal

      I think it was more “He’s so easy to manipulate.”

      • shivaskeeper

        Got it in one.

  • Abby Normal

    Ivanka is a shiksa, and always will be. And frankly, I think its’ disgusting the way 45 uses her husband as a prop to prove he’s not an antisemitism.

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      Pretty much the same way he uses Sleepy Ben and Sheriff Clarke.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Where do you foreign guys come up with those amazing questions?”
    — A US reporter

  • randomhookup

    But which two states? I nominate Missouri and North Dakota.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Maybe we can take 2 and make them into one. Like North Dakota and South Dakota.

      • WIDTAP

        Might as well throw in Montana and Wyoming while you are at it.

        • shivaskeeper

          Have you ever driven through Montana? It’s already never ending. Don’t make it bigger.

      • SeriousSummer

        No country actually needs two Dakotas.

        • Alternative Pony Ron

          Do any countries even need one? Almost every country I know of has zero Dakotas and they seem to be managing nicely.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The Joos go to Missouri and the Ay-rabs to North Dakota. Lots of oil up there. They’ll feel at home.
      Done and done.

  • Alternative Pony Ron

    ‘I think that you’re going to see a lot different United States of America over the next three, four, or eight years.’ http://i719.photobucket.com/albums/ww193/ThisDayInHistory14/Post%20Pic/Africansthreatenriots.jpg

  • Jenny

    Argh goddammit I am so tired of this shit already.

    Also too, my jewish libertarian boss is always trying to solve government problems by getting rid of the government. I get him to go away by being a screechy unhinged libtard. I don’t care what anyone says, libertarians are people with stunted emotional intelligence.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Full libertarians, yes. A certain libertarian streak can be healthy.

      • Jenny

        He’s full libtertarian with a streak of fascism. It’s not even that really, he just likes to hear himself talk and have everyone agree he is so smart.

    • Persistent Demme

      I liked this definition of libertarians: “GOP stoners.”

  • Bill D. Burger

    Trump’s ‘policy’ on a 1 or 2 state route in dealing with the Israeli/Palestinian question.

    “Whatever!”

    • Roadstergal

      “Whatever one Putin says.”

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    “I’m looking at two states and one state, and I like the one both parties like,” Trump told a joint news conference with Netanyahu. “I can live with either one.”

    I’m surprised Netanyahu did smack him upside the head right then and there.

    • Bill D. Burger

      In other words, the official U.S. policy now is: WHATEVER!

      • Asterix

        Is that better than “steal the oil” policy?

        • Bill D. Burger

          Complementary!? ;)

        • wavicles

          “Take the oil.”
          Ya dont say steal the oil when you steal the oil

      • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

        Bqhatevw!

  • Jgb979

    “I love the Jews- my daughter married a Jew. The Jewish people are just tremendous, bigly so. My chief of staff thinks you are a mongrel race, I haven’t seen any signs of being retarted. He’s just jealous of Jared’s beauty”

    Longing for the statesmanship of George W Bush right now.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Not to mention the somber eloquence.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Trump makes me feel like some George H W Bush diplomacy, aka nauseated.

      • Sardonicuss

        Sheer strategery!

    • Bill D. Burger

      Even Scott Brown seems like Cicero next to Turnip: ‘Bqhatevwr’

    • Persistent Demme

      Remember the “I never thought I’d miss Nixon” bumper stickers?
      Do we need “Never thought I’d miss Dubya” ones?

      • Roadstergal

        I refuse to move the Overton window to make that disgrace of a president, who blew up the middle east and enabled the rise of ISIL, be normalized.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Nope. Just thinking it is enough.

  • Crank Tango

    “I’ll have to call Vlad and see how he feels about Israel and get back to you.”

  • Lance Thrustwell

    I like pronouncing the names of the little beanies ‘yarr-mull-keys’.

  • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

    “I’m looking at two states and one state, and I like the one both parties like,”

    So – there’s a third option everyone agrees with already OR he likes either one or two, whichever everyone agrees upon.

    Well shoot, he just said everyone agrees upon a solution, I saw it right on the internet with my own eyes, he DID solve the Israel/Palestine issue. And so fast! So much winning. Please, stop winning, Peeotus!

    • Jgb979

      “I have no idea what the two-state solution is about so I’m gonna BS my way through an answer. It worked on Republican primary rubes.”

      (So it did)

    • Lefty Frizzell

      I noticed that. He clearly neither knows nor cares what the fuck he’s talking about, just pulling a sentence out of his arse, just because, well, I don’t even know why, what is the fucking point of this imbecile even speaking any more?

      • Alternative Pony Ron

        To make sure people were looking at him. Narcissists are attention whores, though usually they’re smart enough to not look like complete idiots in the process.

        • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

          I’m shocked he had enough people around him his entire life to insulate him from his own idiocy. It’s pretty impressive.

          • Alternative Pony Ron

            Money is a better insulator than even aerogel.

          • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

            And I knew that and even so, it’s flabbergasting. Can we eat the rich yet now or what?

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I think he just honed in on the word “parties.” He loves a good party. Whatever leads to a party is fine with him.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      “Let’s just divide it down the middle, and we’ll make everyone relocate. How about that?”

      “No? All right then, let’s just kick all the Palestinians ou…”

      “Not that either? Boy, you guys don’t know how to negotiate, do ya?”

    • Mary Sandoras

      I think he was talking about himself. He thinks both parties like luv him.

  • Nounverb911
  • Latverian Diplomat

    “One state? Two State? Red state. Blue State.”
    — Donald Trump

    • Brian

      “One state, two state, Red state, Jew state. Whatever” Donald Trump

    • magyar of infinite power

      Dr Seuss will cut a bitch

    • Shoto

      Rock, paper, scissors libelz!

    • Resistance Fighter MausFeet
      • aureolaborealis

        Mr. Brown is so good, he can even do this: He can even make a sound like a goldfish kiss Russian hooker piss.

        • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

          Will I read this version to my nephew tonight? Possibly! He’s still young enough I can get away with it.

    • OneYieldRegular

      “I’m liking the two states, the one state. Wisconsin and Pennsylvania for example. And Florida, great state. Whichever one you guys like, okay? Or both. Or all three. Except out-of-control Clintonfornia.”

  • Roadstergal

    “We are going to do everything within our power to stop long-simmering racism and every other thing that’s going on, because a lot of bad things have been taking place over a long period of time.”

    It’s good to know he also supports his own impeachment.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Things have been bad for a long time, but now I’m here to save us all.”
      — Donald Trump

      The sad thing is, this arrogant stupidity is perfectly consistent with his campaign rhetoric and debate answers, but Hillary’s emails etc… :-(

  • andyshelt

    There, there my little baby. Don’t let the nasty people at Wonkette upset you.

    Your daddy still loves you!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0b3df42d73ca716be4fafd727f10ae0808b34688e15e2043c66afface0a2da76.jpg

  • Crystalclear12

    Yeah, done with this sideshow. Time cancel it and free up that time slot

  • aureolaborealis

    I feel like I might be ready to stop giving this man the benefit of the doubt.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      All this winning really does have me exhausted.

    • Sardonicuss

      Hey there now! Thats the testicle cozy / sock puppet of our President Bannon you are talking about there!

  • Nounverb911

    But donnie was nice enough to remind us he got 309 electoral votes.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Or put another way, he reminded us that he’s still incredibly defensive and butthurt about losing the popular vote by 3 million.

      • Shoto

        If you include the people who (stupidly) voted third party (and thus against Drumpf), he actually lost the popular vote by somewhere in the neighborhood of 10 Million. (This translates to a Yoooge Victory for Drumpf, of course.)

  • laughingnome

    I’m hearing more and more about this Jewish guy Eli Weisel. Great guy doing great things.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      And Maimonides. Smart, very smart. That’s why they nicknamed him Magnavox.

      • laughingnome

        Sony Magnavox

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Trump especially likes his book, “Guide to Perplexing”.

  • FukuiSanYesOta

    What Trump heard, with internal monologue.

    “Since your election victory [yes I won, I am the president. Me. Bigly. I’m so great. The greatest.] … anti-semitiam … [problems. I will fix them. I have this.they all love me]”

    And … cue answer

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    The Indivisible meeting tomorrow is going to be a real hoot!

  • Persistent Demme

    Looking into the future, I see the stain of being a T***p collaborator sticking like glue, and destroying careers.
    Bibi will be one of these, as will most of the GOP, Bannon, Conway, Spicer, Pence, etc.

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      That future can’t come soon enough for me. Or any of us.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      “T***p”

      Where did the “rum” go? OH WAIT! I figured it out.

  • laughingnome

    Trump thought the one state solution was a merger between Russia and the USA.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      He also prefers a one-state solution for the ongoing unpleasantries between Russia and the Ukraine.

  • Bill D. Burger

    OT___ but wife abuser putz Puzder has just withdrawn his name.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      “I like abusers who don’t withdraw.”

      • Bill D. Burger

        He and child rapist and wife/women abuser Trump had so much in common. Trump has, I’m sure, a sad.

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        Seems rape-y enough for him.

    • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

      Because he was sick of the abuse he was getting being scrutinized. The abuse.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        He has removed his name in order to spend more time counting his money.

        • Pilotshark

          well that and spend more time abusing his family.

          well that is 2 in a day or so that resigned of have taken themselves out.

          good start.

        • Querolous

          And selling anus burgers.

    • Yr. Gma

      Fuck him and his dripping burger.

  • exinkwretch

    Hey, why was some funny-sounding furren guy asking questions, anyway? The SS shoulda slapped the snot out of him! If Obama’s commie judges hadn’t fucked everything up, he’d already be on plane back home!

    • Crank Tango

      You know who else had the SS…

      Oh you get the point.

  • “I’m looking at two states and one state, and I like the one both parties like,” Trump told a joint news conference with Netanyahu. “I can live with either one.”

    A one-state solution means either ethnic cleansing, apartheid, or an end of a majority Jewish state.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Trump feels the same way about one-party states.

    • Relativicus

      The Israelis want a single state, the Palestinians two-state, and Trump’s good with either so long as they agree. Brilliant. Simply brilliant.

      • Werewolf

        Actually, asshole Israelis and Palestinians want one state (Israel or Palestine), reasonable Israelis and Palestinians want two states, and Donald Frederickovitch doesn’t know a burro from a burrow (one is an ass, and one is a hole in the ground).

      • wavicles

        Hes got Foriegn Policy chops.

  • Nounverb911

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Nuttyahoo just lied though his teeth…..

    https://twitter.com/netanyahu/status/831966651193163776

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Note to our national spokemodel: If your sheath dress dips into your crotch, you might want to have it altered.

      • Yr. Gma

        This^ She had the same problem with her last public dress. Is she putting on weight? Has The Boss cut her dress-buying allowance? Is that another Trump spawn trying to poke out there? (And don’t start on me about fat-shaming and yada yada because I am talking about Mrs. Dampnut here, and I reserve the right to be a snotty old bitch with Heather tendencies because I have lived long enough to do it.)

        • LucindathePook

          Well as she is a professional model, and her entire job is to look good in clothes, I look upon it as legitimate criticism of her professional abilities.

          • wavicles

            She had to retire, remember? cuz someone told on her past and now she has no future, or sumptin.
            “I VILL SEE YOU IN ZE COURT!”

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I figure he’s dressing her, and he has no taste at all. But she really ought to stand up to him on that one.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            If he is dressing her, she needs to let him know the correct size.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Judging from what his ex-wives wore when they were married to him and afterwards, he really likes the look of too-tight clothes.

          • wavicles

            Nope, he tells her what size she had better be by the morning

        • cmd resistor

          I did really like her blue inauguration outfit. Otherwise, just not impressed,mostly just not my style. However, I used to love Michelle’s outfits.

        • Rags

          at first i read your adjective for her dress somewhat differently. Sorry, Grandma.

          • Yr. Gma

            Haha.

      • therblig

        also too, it’s embarrassing to your husband-in-chief to show off how much bigger your hands are than his.

    • If the latter part of that statement is true than we are FUUUUUUUUUCKED…

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Oh, I can think of a few better friends than ol’ Israel.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    and @maggienyt ugly cried because Jared’s father in law is super nice and all those jewish people are just showing LACK OF ENTHUSIASM ABOUT CONTINUING TO EXIST.

    • Pilotshark

      wonder when any of them will slide up to Sheldon and ask him wtf was you thinking given all that money to anti-Jews.

  • ryp

    Trump responded:

    “One State, Two State.
    Red State, Blue State.
    Black State, White State
    Old State, New State.
    This one wears a yellow star.
    This one has a little war.
    Say! What a lot of states there are.
    Yes. Some are red. And some are blue.
    Some are old. And some are new.
    Some are sad.
    And some are glad.
    And some are very, very bad.
    Why are they sad and glad and bad?
    I do not know, go fuck yourself.”

    • BMW

      Epic.

  • Roadstergal

    “We are going to do everything within our power to stop long-simmering racism and every other thing that’s going on”

    So he’s going to stop… everything?

    • BearGHAZI

      You have to hear what he’s saying with his HEART, not with his words, cuck

    • ariel_gee_398

      Bannon was pretty clear that that was his plan. I think Donnie wasn’t supposed to say it though.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Puzderp is out.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Putz Derp?
      With a name like Putz Derp, he’s gotta be toast.

      • Shoto

        With a name like PutzDerp, he’s gotta be a stupid dick.

  • Reximus

    OT: Wag The Dog time…Trump sending troops to Syria

    • Msgr_MΩment

      What? Albania is busy?

      • Reximus

        Prolly thinks that is too close to Alabama

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Tell him it’s the capital of Cuomolandia.

      • mancityRed6

        crimea

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      (can’t upfist this, but thanks for letting us know)

    • Persistent Demme

      Somehow, I don’t see all those generals wanting to use the lives of their men and women to bailout ol’ Cheeto Benito.
      (But I could be wrong.)

      • mancityRed6

        *ring ring*
        2003 is calling and they want their dignity back

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        Many of ’em might not, but there’s a strong sense of duty, and the notion that not liking a Preznit is no grounds for insubordination that runs in the breed.

        • Persistent Demme

          Oh, yes.
          I grew up on military bases and know this is true.
          But they HATE being used, and I’m hoping this kicks in.

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      On which side?

      • Khavrinen

        AOT, K?

    • shivaskeeper

      Link?

      • Reximus

        CNN

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Not a done deal:
      CNN: Trump’s Defense Dept May Recommend Sending US Troops To Syria

  • elviouslyqueer

    I didn’t think it was possible to be any stupider after reading this latest string of mouth-poops, but Jesus Christ On a Matzo Ball.

    • Shoto

      Jeezuz Christ eating a ham sammich, amirite?

      • elviouslyqueer

        Chitlins, more like.

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      On a crutch, in a sidecar, wearing rollerskates…

  • Nounverb911

    Also OT

    Roger Ailes is back in the news.
    https://twitter.com/BraddJaffy/status/831967919630385153

  • timpundit

    He’s hoping the press will start talking about how Hillary actually got more votes blahblahblah…he’s pretty good at getting the press all distracted from the issue at hand. And I have no doubt this speech was planned to do that. Let’s keep our eye on the ball and that ball is TREASON.

    • Persistent Demme

      I don’t think he will distract this time.
      There is a Russian “fake” news feeding frenzy out there.

  • dslindc
    • timpundit

      LOL…dying….can’t breathe….LOLOLOL

      • Ursuladpridmore

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    • Bill D. Burger

      You winz’ the innertubes’ today!

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    He is the unwanted lovechild of Stupidity and Narcissism.

    • timpundit

      And sat on by Rascism, then dropped on his head by Ignorance.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Sometimes, when 2 disparate emotionally stunted parts of a schizophrenic personality love each other very much, . . .

    • Ed Itable

      Sounds like a 2 state solution to me.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      She tried to go to ACORN to get an abortion and an Obamaphone, but they had already been shut down.

  • Msgr_MΩment
  • Sardonicuss

    You know, Bibi may be a venal, vicious, right wing, genocidal theocrat…..but he isn’t an idiot. Like Trump.
    He much prefers Presidents he can manipulate to those who outwit him at every turn like…Obama.
    He is rubbing his also tiny hands together with glee at the thought of exploiting the Orange Rube.
    Much cheaper for him to get Drumph to take out Iran than to do it himself.

    • The Librarian

      Orange Ruble.

    • Roadstergal

      Bibi is a very smart and savvy venal, vicious, right wing, genocidal theocrat.

    • Werewolf

      Okay-Bibi is a corrupt, power-hungry asshole, but he is neither genocidal nor a theocrat. However, he does have genocidal theocrats in his party and coalition, and he’s afraid of being outflanked on his right. He’s basically the Israeli version of an Establishment Republican, threatened by Teabaggers.

      • Sardonicuss

        I well threw in genocidal because of his treatment of the Palestinians and theocrat because he is literally the leader of a religious state ..but..potato..potato.
        Since his last election, I am not sure he is being outflanked by his right as he is using them to inflate his base or coalition…much like some others are using say…Nazis? to shore up theirs.
        I used to respect, at least ..his intellect…but after the shit he pulled during the Iran deal, his activities during the last ..two U.S. electionsI don’t find him to be all that benevolent, or intelligent anymore.

  • Bemused

    If he continues down his current path he may, indeed, succeed in uniting the US. Against him.

  • Warned_and_Persistent

    have not been so embarrassed for my country since Scott Walker extended wishes of molotov

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Trump should have welcomed Bibi with a warm “Molotov”.

    • LucindathePook

      Seriously, the kitty to the left was a wonderful 20-y-o named Mazeltov Cocktail. She stepped on a rainbow two years ago.

      • mancityRed6

        awww. My dear Brady stepped on a rainbow a few years ago. I still miss her.
        and kudos for the reference.

        • LucindathePook

          Her brother, also no longer with us, was a Kitler named Schmutzik Lipschitz.

  • FukuiSanYesOta

    Troops in Syria. Supporting Russia no doubt.

    Just put this asshole in jail now.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Heat is getting to Donny! If things get too hot: “Bomb, bomb, bomb….bomb, bomb Iran.”

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/009d31623cbd6d554f7b7d4b6b263530f2540ca47ae7f19bbeaca9d5d731b5cc.gif

      • Tacoclamgenda

        Mmmmmm

    • shivaskeeper

      All I’m seeing is there might be a recommendation to put troops in. Special Forces have been there for a while. Has there been an announcement to actually send combat troops in?

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        I just looked and besides the 200 “advisors” sent in December, no actual troops yet. CNN is reporting “Trump’s Defense Dept May Recommend Sending US Troops To Syria”.

        • shivaskeeper

          It finally updated for me. Not really shocking. He did ask for a plan within 30 days. I would have been surprised if this wasn’t one of the recommendations. There was no mention of what other recommendations were going to be made as well though.

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    I’m so glad that America finally put some adults in charge.

    • mancityRed6

      I voted for the woman to be in charge, not the idiot.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    Seems like, when made uncomfortable in public, The Oaf of Office retreats behind his most recent success for a bit of reinforcement. Regardless of what anyone thinks about the validity of the election results, he *did* get to move into 1600 Pennsylvania. If no one is currently praising him–and a wise-ass reporter asking rude questions is probably the epitome of that situation–he’ll praise himself. It’s automatic, and serves as sort of a time-out in the conversation. Gives him a few seconds to calm the little boy inside, and then he spouts whatever piss-poor excuse for an answer the little boy gives him, and ends the conversation. Many a tome will be written about this shit when he’s gone. And that may be next year…

    • Hutch

      Is this really a thing? Like a DSM-5 thing? Syndrome or something? I’ve never seen anyone else do this. I mean, beyond the age of three.

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        I have no idea, but that’s what it looks like from a layman’s POV. He seems to do it a lot.

        ETA: Josh Marshall has commented on this deep-rooted need for praise many times.

        • Hutch

          I. Could. Not. Believe. It. He did the same thing with Trudeau. And now another “victory” rally in Orlando this weekend. I am speechless with horror.

          • mancityRed6

            can we tell the unwashed how much it’s costing them?

          • Hutch

            Costing all of us! Including us in the plurality of voters who chose the other candidate.

      • mancityRed6

        my mom is a psychologist specialising in sex offenders and offendees, dad switched to fox news one night and she couldn’t handle it.

      • Yr. Gma

        NPD. Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

    • mancityRed6

      Oaf of Office, I really like that.

  • MynameisBlarney

    http://www.democraticunderground.com/10141703049

    US allies also picked up conversation with turmp advisor and Russia.

    Also, too; Feds may be about to bring charges against Fox News.

    http://www.democraticunderground.com/10141703099

  • Suttree

    Does anyone even attempt to brief him anymore? If so, I feel bad for them haha fuck you. What did you think was going to happen?

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      I’m sure they’re at least going through the motions, but long ago they gave up expecting any of it to sink in.

    • Vel Venturi

      Perhaps at this point they are attempting to communicate with ol’ Easy D using interpretive dance.

      • yyyaz

        I hope half-cooked beans are a staple of his briefers’ daily diet.

    • Khavrinen

      Why would they need to brief him? He has a great brain, and already knows more about anything than anybody, ever. Just ask him, he’ll tell you.

  • LucindathePook

    Any news on the Big Handshake Competition?

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    Aww, no more Putzer, huh? I’ll believe he did it himself when a month goes by and there are no WH leaks saying teh Oaf wanted to avoid another public loss.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Feb 2017 Trump calls for freeze on West Bank settlements.
    May 2009 Obama calls for freeze on West Bank settlements.

    MIke Huckabee two months ago…

    “The Obama administration has been hostile towards Israel, hostile,” Huckabee told the news network. “It’s not that they have just been indifferent, but they have spent more time condemning Israel for building bedrooms in Judea and Samaria than they have for trying to condemn Iran for attempting to build bombs. This is outrageous.

    Fucking hypocrites.

  • Relativicus

    “’I’m looking at two states and one state, and I like the one both parties like,’ Trump told a joint news conference with Netanyahu. ‘I can live with either one.’”

    Truly, this is one of the most amazing quotes in the history of people saying things. Take your Lincolns, Churchills, Mussolinis, and Berras and flush them all down the toilet. This guy gets it.

    And because I, too, am a giant man-baby, here’s a cartoon that also uses gibberish to comedic effect:

    https://youtu.be/f69PnAUwv-E

    • Hemp Dogbane

      “I’ll have whatever he’s having,” said Trump, gesturing toward Bibi.

  • MynameisBlarney

    BAMYOW!

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/02/former-cia-official-says-having-trump-in-the-white-house-is-the-gravest-threat-since-civil-war/

    I just hope that it’s not only ex agents of the US Intelligence Communities that feel this way.

    • LucindathePook

      I have been saying this (to myself) since way, way back, and I’m not all that prescient, so it’s got to be an acknowledged thing among some people somewhere with more power than I will ever have.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Same here. While I try to keep informed, my dad was in the predecessor of the NSA (ASA – Army Security Agency) so I know about all the dirty tricks the Russians (Soviet Union then) tried to pull. But I don’t think I’ve got much in the prescient department either.

      • C4TWOMAN

        I’m only surprised the degree of threat is seen as greater that WWII. My inexpert opinion would have been Watergate, or somewhere in between.

        • LucindathePook

          I think WWII if the president had been Charles Lindberg or someone. The fear is that the CiC and WH contingent are in thrall to an outside power.

  • therblig

    if i live another 60 years, i’ll still be able to put “I did not vote for that asshole trump” on my tombstone, and people will still know what that means.

  • Bebecca

    HOMEWORK Donald, you might want to do some before you enter any international stage. You look like an idiot and we look like bigger idiots for electing you.

    • theblackdog

      I wonder if some other country is willing to take 65 million US refugees who were clearly not idiots as they voted for Hillary, myself included.

      • Bebecca

        Maybe Australia but could we get used to the drains swirling the opposite way ?

        • tomamitai
        • ahughes798

          Australia has so many types of fauna, and some flora, that are so terrifyingly deadly(Including huge spiders)that I simply could not live there. But it looks beautiful!

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            I’ve visited and would love to live there even though it’s Deathworld lite, but am an old so can’t emigrate.

          • ahughes798

            I just couldn’t live anywhere, no matter how beautiful, with Huntsman spiders that get huge and are common things in people’s houses. They’re not poisonous. There’s another variety of huge house spider called “white tails” I think, that are extremely venomous Here’s a pic of a Huntsman: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ed88a7376bfb72722fadb3a8ddcdbc5d02be5be097ccd0d7f29810c8cd5c1d41.jpg

          • C4TWOMAN

            I have, after years of work, made my peace with spiders. If caught inside, they are evicted via glass/cardboard method. Outside, they’ve always been free to “do their jobs.”
            But I draw the line at spiders as big as mice.

            Fortunately I prefer living in cool, temperate zones where such beasties can’t thrive or survive winter.

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            I don’t mind spiders and snakes, cockroaches on the other hand freak me out.

          • ahughes798

            My sis feels the same about all beetles, and my mom was terrified of worms. I kinda wonder if there isn’t a genetic component to phobias.

    • Hardly Ideal

      “We look like idiots for electing you”? That wasn’t just an election, it was an IQ test. And we blew it bigly.

      • Bebecca

        Sad!

    • CripesAmighty

      And, who, pray tell, would be this ‘we’ you’re referring to?

  • Oblios_Cap

    I notice he didn’t try his handshake tango with Bibi.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Because, Krav Maga?

    • Relativicus

      Maybe he realizes word is out on that one. I’m thinking his next move will be to stand just close enough to a person when he greets them so that his toes are on the other person’s toes.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • We are going to do everything within our power to stop long-simmering racism

    They’ve definitely stopped it from “simmering”.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Let’s get this boil on the road!

  • MynameisBlarney

    Flynn’s security clearance has been suspended.

    http://www.democraticunderground.com/10141703131

    • JustDon’tSayPeriod.Period!

      That’s how that works. If you don’t need the clearance (as in not having the job anymore), you get ‘read off’. And sign a bunch of forms swearing you won’t reveal anything ever.

  • Oneofthebobs

    So, Donald has several Jews and a black?

    • PersistenceFighterCaptainHowdy

      And a dot Indian!

  • cmd resistor

    This, however, is funny, a new Chrome extension that turns his tweets into kid handwriting. Link is in the article.
    http://www.dailykos.com/stories/2017/2/15/1634092/-New-Twitter-web-app-that-displays-Trumpian-tweets-as-childish-scrawl-wins-Internet-for-all-time

  • Notreelyhelping

    “One state, two state, red fish, blue fish…whatever. It’s time for lunch isn’t it? Salmon. Let’s have lunch.”

    • Querolous

      “Got any pork chops?”

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    ““I have seen what you are talking about,” he said soberly.”

    Is it sad I’m impressed he actually admitted this is a problem that exists?

    Yes.
    The answer is yes.

  • Thiazin Red

    “I like the one both parties like”?

    I know the reports say he refuses to listen to people and learn things but come on. I have literally seen elementary school children bluff through reports better than that.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      This is what is so depressing. Barron could do better than this with no prep at all.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Only if it’s the Cyber.

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          He’s also good at stars. Bigly good at stars.

  • LarryHoudini

    Just checking in . . .has the CIA managed to throw Donald in jail for life yet?

    • Jennaratrix

      Give them a couple more hours.

      • LarryHoudini

        I wish I could, but I’m kind of in a rush.

      • as a wonkette wit pointed out on another thread, ole beauregard’s justice is coming after the leakers so they better get cracking.

  • janecita

    The two people I dislike the most in the whole wide world, together in one place. Note to self, don’t watch the news tonight.

    • HazooToo

      You said that wrong. It’s “don’t watch the news, ever”.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Idiot, dolt or moron? Discuss.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Idoltan?

    • ViveLaPersistence

      Dolmordiot?

      • Usedtobeyellerdawg

        Doltamort.

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          Voldemort!

          • ahughes798

            Dolti-Moran

        • ViveLaPersistence

          I like it. It has a Rick Scottian ring to it.

    • Vecchioivan

      Schmuck or putz?

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Oy weh

  • a_pink_poodle

    Well that seemed like a very reasonable response!

  • DahBoner

    Not until my fourteenth or fifteenth year did I begin to come across the word ‘Jew,’ with any frequency, partly in connection with political discussions…

    Because until then, I was mostly concerned with keeping Blacks from renting my Dad’s apartments.
    https://media1.giphy.com/media/14acXCYimWXRni/giphy.gif

  • snark-lurker

    The Trix had me goin to the end (in the fake part) except I hit the werd “shanda” & could nut quite believe that OPOS sed that word, so when i got to David Dook’s name i was not surprised when, GOTCHA

    • Tallmutha

      “Tropes” did it for me.

      • JustDon’tSayPeriod.Period!

        me, too.

      • For me it was the soberly part and the lack of patting himself on the back and that it was only one brief paragraph.

      • Dmitry

        I didn’t buy it once “soberly” was used to describe his response.

      • Ugne

        Me, too.

  • CripesAmighty

    “One state–two state…Got a Shekel? We’ll flip.”

  • HolidayinCambodia

    He thinks that Jews are as stupid as Christians. Son, we were here before they were, and we’ll still be here when they are gone. Sad.

    • ahughes798

      So will us Atheists.

  • CripesAmighty

    Upon reviewing the clip, it appears that this chowderhead really is just making it up as he goes along: “I prefer the one-state (wheels turn: oh,shit, I’m about to step in some shit here)…er, two state, whatever…”

    Fucking Christ, we knew this was gonna be a Clusterfuck, but who could have imagined that it would make W’s Romper Room look like the BMW engineering department by comparison?

    • Sandy Beaches

      I have fudged oral presentations on books I didn’t read better than this ass clown answers simple questions. He thinks he is smart and that he can just baffle us with bullshit

      • wavicles

        Naw, deep down he knows that he’s less than. Hence all the bluster, projection and insatiable need for validation.
        It must be horrible and exhausting in there.

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    You can’t hide it, Donald: Teh Jooz know their schlemiels and schlimazels. And you are both. Only with hooker pee instead of soup.

  • Mavenmaven

    Essentially, his response to a question about the rise in racism and antisemitism is that he’s going to be the popular Fuhrer and we’re going to see a very different America afterwards.

  • Mr Trump, What up with the rise of anti semitism?
    T: Did you see my electoral win?????

    • zerosumgame0005

      Believe ME!!111!!!

      or else!

      • NewLarry

        I was taught that when someone says “believe me”, make them pay cash.

        • Smibo

          Rule of thumb: whenever someone prefaces a statement with “believe me when I say”, or “trust me when I tell you”, or other words to that effect, the very next words out of their mouth will be a lie.

    • Pisto75666

      Totally a rhetorical question but,he’s NEVER gonna stop yammering on about that damn Electoral College number is he?

  • fawkedifiknow

    “So, bottom line, Nordstrom did kristlnacht to Ivanka’s Jewish finery because they are Aryan Firsters”.

    • wait! what?

      …aryan fisters does explain Trump’s sock puppet cabinet…

  • Meliflaw

    “Haha, Wonkette just did Fake News at you…” Damn you, Wonkette, you almost had me.

    Quick summary of what the faux-prez actually meant, somewhere in his large unconscious: “I won–HAH! Yeah, I won, aren’t all you losers impressed? The country was doing mostly all right, but I’ll make it as hellish as I possibly can. And oh, yeah, I’m related to some Jewish people, so I must be full of love, but not really.”

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    Oh my Cat! Did he just brag about the size of his election then completely ignore the question? Oy vey this putz

  • Manhattan123

    To be fair to the U.S. press, the only reporters the Mango Mussolini called on were right-wing “journalists”. The NYT and the Washington Post (and even CNN) have definitely been stepping up to the plate lately. He – needless to say – didn’t call on any of them.

  • Aileen

    I would pay good money to see Donald attempt to provide a brief history of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

    • resisting and persisting

      Easy! It starts, and ends, with him winning bigly.

      Done!

    • Steven

      the only word he hears is ‘Bank’

    • Toledo Window Box

      Not his approach. He goes with minimal knowledge, to every situation.

      He’s not hiding this.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Knowing stuff only gets in the way. Look how much good it did to previous presidents.

  • aureolaborealis

    If you have an election lasting more than four months (even just in your head), consult a doctor.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    “I think one of the reasons I won the election is we have a very, very divided nation. Very divided. And hopefully I’ll be able to do something about that. It was something that was very important to me.”

    Nothing says “I’m going to unite the country” like appointing a bunch of RWNJs who are Christofascists, thieves, unqualified morons, far to the right of sanity, believers in conspiracies, Wall Street crooks, etc…

    • resisting and persisting

      And sending an FU new year’s card to your “haters”.

      There’s gonna be love, so much love!

      • The Flaming Carrot

        We’ll get sick of loving.

    • TootsStansbury

      Well, notice he says “do something about that”. He means kill all of the dissenters. Divided nation solved!

      • teele

        Yeah, a “final solution,” that’s the ticket!

      • Keith Taylor

        Yes. Not a new idea, but always good. Check out the satirical pamphlet, “The Shortest Way With Dissenters” by that very up-to-date writer, Daniel Defoe.

    • freakishlypersistent

      And the beltway crowd never demanded of him, (like they do of Democrats), that he appoint less fanatics to his cabinet, or SCOTUS. Had he appointed Merrick Garland, maybe he could talk about uniting the country with a straight face.

  • UpstateNYObserver

    Just wondering when Trump and his cronies will make our National Anthem the Horst Wessel Song.

  • and of course, there was this gem…

    ‘I’d Like To See You Hold Back On Settlements,’

    This is the bold decisive leadership this country needs. Wait, no it isn’t. This is like me going to my neighbor and saying, “Hey Tim…I’d like to see you keep Fluffy from shitting in my azaleas.”

  • Mike Steele

    Oh, this is good…Guy Donald chose as ambassador to Israel was in on illegal settlement on private Palestinian land. Israeli court ordered settlement dismantled. ( Kushner will likely build the replacement.)

    • HorseChestnut

      Gross, Kushner. Ugh.

    • Toledo Window Box

      Be prepared for a far-right-wing agenda in Israel for as long as Trump is President.

      • Mike Steele

        Yeah. ‘Either’ solution is fine with Donald, so long as we get to take the oil after another mideast bloodbath.

        • Toledo Window Box

          He still talks about stealing Iraq’s oil. It’s so “endearing”.

  • AJ Milne

    The way he keeps repeating that ‘I totally won’ thing, it’s starting to look a bit… neurotic.

    Who are you trying to convince you’re legitimate, guy? What, is even that odd, unkempt, slightly daffy-looking fella in the mirror starting to look a mite sceptical?

    • Darkrose

      Neurotic is not the word I’d use. He reminds me of my mother when she was suffering from mid-stage dementia and we literally had to hide the kitchen knives because she was convinced our 80-year-old cousin was going to drive to Virginia from Louisiana and climb a ladder to break into her second-story window.

      • ken_kukec

        “starting” is not the word I’d use, either.

        • Keith Taylor

          Hey, wait just a darn minute, there. I have discovered during the past hour, in an article by a psychiatrist, solid proof that President Donald Trump has all his marbles, the full collection, in pristine condition. The title is “Relax, Trump Is Stone Cold Sane”, and you can’t find a more definite statement than that. And the author’s evidence?

          First, Trump has acquired “billions of dollars through complex real estate transactions.”

          Second, he “obviously enjoys the love and respect of his children and his wife.”

          Third, he has “deftly” defeated “16 Republican opponents and then the Democratic heir-apparent to a two-term president’s administration.”

          Until then I might have questioned the “billions”, the “obviously”, and especially the “deftly”. But there was so much more. Clearly, “when that very same man attracts to his team the kind of intellect and gravitas represented (to name just a few) by Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Dr. Ben Carson, Attorney General Jeff Sessions, Secretary of State Rex Tillerson and Secretary of Defense James Mattis, a retired Marine Corps general and commander of the U.S. Central Command, he cannot be mentally deranged. Period. It is a statistical impossibility.”

          He convinced me. That degree of “intellect and gravitas” is a long way beyond reproach. People, I was a CONVERT — and then I saw the man’s name and affiliation at the foot of the article. He’s Dr. Keith Ablow, “a psychiatrist and member of the Fox News Medical A-Team.”
          Oh.
          And his name is Keith. Now that does hurt.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Adolf Hitler defeated his opponents and assembled a far more competent team – that doesn’t prove he wasn’t nuts.

          • The Flaming Carrot

            More importantly, his last name is “Ablow.” Top that, Keith.

    • La Cieca

      A bit?

    • He’s like a scratched record – over and over and over. He can’t move past the inauguration crowd or lack thereof. That makes me happy.

      • willymodel

        he’s a size queen.

  • La Cieca

    “I swear to protect all Jews who marry my daughter or are blood relatives of mine. You can take that to the bank, which is a place Jews go very often, because of all the money they control. I respect that, because I have much money myself. Rich!”

    • Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild

      “Plus, the ones who bailed out my hotels and want to annex the West Bank. They donated to my campaign so they’re cool.”

  • Poly_Ester

    My translation — whatever the people voted for me want, they get.

  • Poly_Ester

    Did Donnie perform that Jedi handshake trick on Benny?

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

      If I had to shake Trump’s hand, I’d wear a surgical glove with a big dab of lanolin in the palm. Squeeze tight!

  • La Cieca
  • mailman27

    It’s cold comfort that only 27% of registered voters elected this idiot. It is just un-fucking-believable that this moron is calling the shots.

  • Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild
  • HyperSpiral

    Once again, Trump brags about his ability to force himself on people who don’t want him.

  • “And hopefully I’ll be able to do something about that.”

    Keep hoping.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    He’s right about one thing: if the fuckweasel gets his way, we’re going to see a very different America.

  • Teecha

    What a fucking bellend.

  • wavicles

    “what’s a leppo?”

    • Weevie

      A goofy name Daily Mail made up for today’s string bikini star.

  • Longstreet63

    Trump’s Two State Solution is New York and New Jersey.

  • Weevie

    “…You’re going to see a lot of love. OK?…”
    No not OK.
    Meanwhile, linked myriad regional cohorts comprising ex-dunce chair denizens gather to pore on “yarmulke.”
    “What’s a uh, uh, Yar Mule Key, Maynard? Let’s use it, hee, hee hee! Thems Libuls is jack asses!”

  • ResonantCavity

    You genuinely got me with your FAKE CNN NEWS there. Good job, slash, now I am sad.

  • Emaily

    How about three states? Does that sound good? Three states and a pot in every chicken.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Havent seen it but I heard the Trump presser was a total train wreck?

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Trump just shouted “quiet!” at the hasidic reporter and then told him to sit down, calling him a liar.

    “I’m really not a bad person … I do get good ratings you have to admit.” — a real thing said by the President of the United States.

    A black reporter just asked the President if he’s going to meet with the Congressional Black Caucus.
    Trump: “Are they friends of yours?”

    This is a joke right? Twitter is going all the onion right?

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Emp strike? US nuked?

  • handyhippie65

    i weren’t fooled fer a second. the word “memes” wuz the give away. dumpy wud have sayd innertube pichers. on another note, did that reporter really think he would get a real answer to his question? no one else sure as hell can.

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