SHARE
And he seemed like such a nice guy

Frank Ancona, the leader of the “Traditionalist American Knights of the Ku Klux Klan,” which he liked to claim was a much nicer version of the KKK that would never ever dream of violence, was found shot to death Saturday after going missing Wednesday. The Park Hills Daily Journal reports charges are likely to be filed today. Despite Ancona’s fetish for grabbing publicity as a KKK leader (he claimed his group had several thousand members, though probably the actual figure was much lower), the Daily Journal reports the murder appears to have been unrelated to his Klanning:

seemingly any involvement with the KKK had little, if anything, to do with his death. While specifics were being withheld until the filing of formal charges, all indications were the death occurred at Ancona’s home in Leadwood which he shared with his wife, Malissa.

Investigators spoke with Malissa Ancona and her son, Frank’s stepson, several times over the weekend. Reportedly the stepson, who’s name was not released, was picked up on an unrelated warrant and was being held in a local jail.

Ancona’s body was found Saturday on the banks of the Big River near Belgrade, Missouri, by a family that was out fishing; Washington County coroner Brian DeClue (yes, really) told the Kansas City Star Ancona was killed by a single gunshot to the head, which DeClue said was “not self inflicted.”

Since founding the “Traditionalist American Knights” in 2009, Ancona had made a name for himself by claiming that his group was not a hate group, no not at all, just a nice group of guys who believe white people are inherently superior and who enjoy an occasional cross-burning and starting everything with “K.” Yr Wonkette first covered his shiny happy Klan after the group left flyers all over Chesterfield County, Virginia, in 2014, when Ancona told the Richmond Times-Dispatch he simply couldn’t understand why people would associate the KKK with hate, since they’re all about love. Of the white race. Yeah, he was one of those. Same racist bullshit with a few distracting claims about being something new and different, and a certain talent for getting himself on cable TV.

“The thing that really gets me is that (people are) saying we’re teaching our children to hate people just because of their race, creed and color, and that’s a complete lie and falsehood” […]

“The secret is not that we have this plot or anything … we’ve gotten this bad reputation,” Ancona said.

Clearly, it was all a big mystery to him why anyone would associate his group with hatred. Oh, sure, there were the flyers themselves, which warned that “many people have experienced the blacks firsthand” and have seen the “savagery and animalism in many of these people,” which could be interpreted as maybe a little hatey. But the flyers also explained that the Traditionalist Knights were no threat to anyone, really, because the KKK is devoted to

“exalting the Caucasian race and teaching the doctrine of white supremacy.”

“That does not mean that we are enemies of the colored and mongrel race, but it does mean that we are organized to establish the solidarity and to realize the mission of the white race.”

Yet even with all his friendliness to the colored and mongrel races, people still thought he was a hater.

Ancona’s disingenuous attempts at portraying his group as a new kind of Klan even managed to win him a very serious think-piece on CNN in April 2014, the week after a racist murdered three people at a Jewish community center in Kansas, on whether it would really be possible for the KKK to rebrand itself as a nonviolent group. Spoiler alert: Even CNN decided probably not, and then went back to 24/7 coverage of the missing Malaysian airliner.

During the protests in Ferguson, Missouri, Ancona also got a fair amount of publicity for publicly condemning another KKK group, the “New Empire Knights of the Ku Klux Klan,” for raising funds to support Officer Darren Wilson, who had shot Michael Brown. It’s not so much that Ancona found raising funds for Wilson offensive, but that the other Klan group didn’t have a legitimate KKK pedigree:

“We are a registered organization. We have a charter with the state… Half of them don’t have the rituals for our ceremonies.” […]

“No one has ever heard of the guy, I talked to the older members of our group,” he said. “There are other legitimate Klan organizations, but this group here sprang out in the last year or so I don’t believe he has any members. I think it’s just him.”

Ancona was one principled guy, and he wasn’t about to let those New Empire Knights horn in on the legitimate KKK. Splitters! They were every bit as bad as the Judean People’s Liberation Front. Ancona then went on to distribute leaflets in Ferguson warning that his group would use lethal force to defend the community from all those terrible black rioters, not that he was inciting violence or anything, because, as he explained in a video, the real instigators of violence were the black protesters, not that he hated them or anything:

“These people are acting like savage animals,” he said of protesters. “And that’s what they are, is a bunch of savage beasts.”

Ancona had insisted that his group’s firm stance against violence — uh huh — and its refusal to engage in hate — yes, sure — had made him many enemies among other Klan groups:

“How can you be a Christian organization and hate other people?

“I’ve actually taken a lot of heat from other white nationalists because of that,” he said. “I’m called an N-lover and a Jew, blah, blah, blah. I’m doing everything I can to hold it to the principles it’s supposed to be by.”

And while Klan groups sometimes do go to war with each other, it looks like Ancona probably died in a plain old family spat of some kind; after Ancona’s employer reported him missing Friday, his wife, Malissa, wasn’t exactly helpful when police arrived:

When the chief and officer arrived they found Frank’s wife, Malissa, and her son, Frank’s stepson, outside the home. They inquired about Frank and were told by Malissa that he got a call from his workplace and needed to drive across the state to deliver a part, which is what he did for a living […]

A call to the employer verified they did not send Frank across the state on a job.

The officers requested to enter the house. At first Malissa denied access, but later consented to allowing them to enter. Once inside, the officers found a safe which had been busted open and any contents removed.

It was also discovered that all of Frank’s firearms were missing except the handgun he carried regularly as a holder of a concealed carry permit.

Malissa claimed he’d taken all his guns with him on his “business trip,” and said he had told her when he returned he planned to file for divorce. Oh, and the day Ancona went missing, she posted a Facebook notice saying she was looking for a new roommate; she explained to police she figured that if Frank was leaving her, she’d need someone to help share living expenses.

While no charges have been filed, we won’t be incredibly surprised if maybe she turns out to be involved, just maybe. It seems like a possibility. We’ll update when more information is available.

The real shame here, of course, is that while whoever was responsible will likely be charged with some form of homicide, now that Donald Trump is in office, it’s unlikely that the Environmental Protection Agency will be willing to prosecute dumping Ancona’s body in the river as water pollution.

[Daily Journal / KC Star]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • memzilla Ω
    • Barbarajogren

      Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !dc194c:
      On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
      !dc194c:
      ➽➽
      ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs484MarketSparkGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!dc194c:….,……..

  • ManchuCandidate

    Sad. I thought he was amusing in Reno 911!

    http://www.cc.com/video-clips/601q9f/reno-911–klan-wine-tasting

    Wait! Wut?! He was a real life guy? I don’t know what’s stranger, this guy or that real life is emulating Reno911!

  • FlemmishSpy

    Well I taught that weeping willow how to cry cry cry,
    Taught the clouds how to cover up a clear blue sky.
    Tears I cried for that woman are gonna flood you big river,
    And I’m a gonna sit right here until I die.

  • Wild Cat

    Thank you for brightening my Monday morning.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Tucker Carlson to blame BLM in 5 … 4 …

  • Hutch

    Traditionalist American Knights of the Ku Klux Klan?!? What, are there Orthodox and Reformed KKKs, too?

    And do they also wear badge sashes like Girl Scouts? “I got my Lynchin’ Badge in camp last summer.”

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Splitters!

    • FlemmishSpy

      The Unitarian Klan host one hell of a pot luck supper.

      • Painter of Goats

        Favorites are mashed potatoes, white bread, milk, cream of wheat, wedding cake, spaghetti alfredo – no colored food.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      All the badges are entirely white so no one knows what they say. Just like the law books in Jefferson Sessions DOJ office.

    • SmokinGood

      Well, unfortunately from time to time your Klavern might just go all Vatican II on you, and you just have no choice but to incite a schism.

      • Sardonicuss

        They nailed their plans on the door of a church…unfortunately nobody saw them because they burned the church down.

        • Antonin Dvorak

          And it’s not like they could read it anyway, with all those polysyllabic words and what have you.

  • Chadwells
  • arglebargle

    And you say no votes were involved? Interesting.

    • Wild Cat

      I think he did a David Carradine.

      • Hutch

        With a gun? That’s quite a commitment to your orgasm!

        • Wild Cat

          He studied the way of Young Grasshopper, who was quite magical.
          I’m 100% in favor of white supremacists lynching themselves and then shooting themselves while in handkkkuffs, too.*

          _*with votes!

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Nah. They’ve already said that it wasn’t self inflicted. Although he may have been in his underpants.

  • Wild Cat

    The bad thing about dying in your white klan robes is that everyone can see what you evacuated out of your arse as easily as they saw what you evacuated from your ugly white face.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Washington County coroner Brian DeClue (yes, really)

    He was assisted by Detective I.N. Vestigate and State’s Attorney D. Aay.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    I am having tremendous difficulty feeling any sorrow for this man’s passing. In fact, I’ve had to get an injunction against my feet to prevent them from doing a Snoopy dance.

  • Nounverb911

    Former KKKlansman Fred Trump Sr. couldn’t be reached for comment.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      His son, however, wrote a “C” on the police report.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    after Ancona’s employer reported him missing Friday

    Nice to see Steve Bannon taking such interest in his employees.

  • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

    A cute little animal and a dead racist; Today’s not so bad so far…

    • Nounverb911

      Just wait until he insults Canada during his meeting with Justin Trudeau…

  • Sardonicuss

    Here kitty kitty?! Here “Good” kitty…?

  • wide_stance_hubby

    I guess it would be against some basic rule of law or decency to dangle his body from a very tall pole, as an example to others. Goddamned ‘PC’ culture.

    • Duke

      Heads on stakes is so last millennium.

    • As a closet necromancer, I would think his bones would be fairly useful in some rituals.

    • Painter of Goats

      Out here in the west we favor fence posts.

  • My annacona dont my annacona dont my annacona dont want none unless you got buns hun.

    • Duke

      Ummm… Yeah!

  • Warned_and_Persistent

    Has anyone checked out Frederick’s Douglass’ alibi for the night of the crime?

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Many people are speaking highly of him these days.

      • Warned_and_Persistent

        I was going to suggest that DeBois fellow, but wasn’t sure of the spelling of his name.

  • OrG

    Dead nazi,GOOD. Next.

  • MALISSA:

    1. Quirky spelling to demonstrate spunkiness and individuality
    OR
    2. Momma didn’t know how to spell “Melissa”

    • arglebargle

      Melon Trump approved.

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        Little Babby Donnie calls her “Melons, for short”.

    • Nounverb911

      Short for Mar-a-Lago Issa?

    • Sarah Balfour

      perhaps it was originally Malicea, but she realised that sounded too hatey.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      An ex of mine and I have a running joke about pharmaceutical names. They’re not good enough unless you can imagine them being yelled by an angry mom in exactly this context:

      “Propecia? Get your ass down here!”

      • Hutch

        “Time to get up, Valium! I can’t have you sleeping all day!”

      • Querolous

        “Viagra! How many times do I have to tell you to sit up straight when we have company!”

    • Painter of Goats

      Combined form of her mother’s favorite characters – Maleficent and Darrell Issa.

    • wavicles

      Malice-uh

  • Nounverb911

    Did any check Stephen Miller’s whereabouts when this happened?

  • Bill D. Burger

    So, in summary: Trump has lost one sure vote…maybe more to come!
    Scarlett O’Hara: “Why…I’ll just cry into my pillow all night.”
    Hmmm….sounds very SUS-picious however!

    [New York Daily News NEWS Facebook Twitter Instagram SUBSCRIBE
    U.S. WorldPolitics 2/12/17:

    KKK ‘imperial wizard’ found dead near Missouri river after employer reports him as missing

    A Ku Klux Klan leader was reportedly found dead under suspicious circumstances near a rural river in Missouri after being reported missing by his employer.

    A body discovered on Saturday was identified as Frank Ancona, the self-proclaimed “imperial wizard” of a KKK chapter near St. Louis. The 51-year-old was last seen at his Leadwood home on Wednesday morning, his wife told authorities.

    Cops also questioned Ancona’s wife on a Facebook posting she made the day of his disappearance that sought a roommate for her husband.

    She said Ancona was filing for divorce when he returned and would likely need help paying for rent, according to authorities.]
    And they look like such sweethearts also/too! (⊙.⊙(☉̃ₒ☉)⊙.⊙)

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/652c15f270cc2c671b414429e750851a9f32a5b610b3aed5c14395d4ea21790e.jpg

    • Villago Delenda Est

      OK, it’s bad to be lookist, but sheesh…

    • Wild Cat

      “The Adventures of MegaClit and MicroPenis, America’s Finest White Supremacists”
      Tuesdays at 8 on the Learning Channel

  • arglebargle

    But did anyone get to punch him first?

    • OrG

      And is it too late?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      We can always dream that his Twilight Hell is decidedly ‘urban.’

  • FlemmishSpy

    Maybe Malissa had melice towards her hubby.

    • arglebargle

      Mebby.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Melice. I’ll bet that “lice” were involved somewhere in this.

      • Naytch

        Pthirus pubis and Pediculus capitis libelz!!

  • Looks like he died poorly.

    Good.

  • o’look Skwerl!

    The real shame here, of course, is that while whoever was responsible will likely be charged with some form of homicide, now that Donald Trump is in office, it’s unlikely that the Environmental Protection Agency will be willing to prosecute dumping Ancona’s body in the river as water pollution.

    A friend of mine who was a paralegal for a county used to attempt to add littering charges onto murder charges if the body was dumped along the roadside. The County Attorney was not amused.

    • SmokinGood

      Where there any 8×10 color glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one involved?

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    You guys, it’s really sad when a white supremacists’ life is cut short like this. He had so many mores years of blind hatred and bile left to give. I’m sure our thoughts and prayers will comfort his “grieving” widow and, just maybe, shorten his time burning in hell.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      If we don’t give our thoughts and prayers, will his time burning in hell be extended? If so, no thoughts or prayers from me!

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        I’m a bit hazy on the theology, but I think people used to be able to buy intercessory prayers for dead people to shorten either their time in purgatory or hell. Could be wrong though. I think the “thoughts” part of thoughts and prayers were for the family. In any case, this guy deserved neither unless the thought was “good riddance” and the prayer was “what took you so long”.

    • Pilotshark

      should rejoice for his children, if they are not to far gone yet.

      • PubOption

        One seems to be going to the Big House.

  • Martini Ambassador

    “We are a registered organization. We have a charter with the state… Half of them don’t have the rituals for our ceremonies.” […]

    Yup, I totally hate when those non-legit groups don’t have those proper rituals for the important ceremonies. Because, obviously, wearing the robes with the hoods at the correct angle and burning the crosses from left to right is what gives the state registration validity.

    Yes, yes, the circle jerks too. Those are critical.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Well, in all fairness, eye of newt and toe of frog are getting a lot more difficult to scare up in a modern world.

    • Warned_and_Persistent

      Circle jerks? You mean secret handshaking each other.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Circle jerks is a great play on words for the KKK. The name originated from the Greek word for “circle,” kuklos. And they’re all jerks. So their primary ritual, their “communion” if you will, involves the circle jerk, after which they shout “Santorum!” in unison. Then they do other things.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Sardonicuss

      Good kitty is good.

  • geoffalnutt

    Oh, look! It’s alt-Melissa!

  • Wild Cat

    OK, when are they going to start blaming Al Sharpton?

  • Asterix

    I find it impossible to care that this “human” life has ended.

    I am wondering if his wife feels the same way…

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Let’s just say that I suspect she knew the end of the story before the rest of us knew there was even a book.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    What do you call a Klansman found dead in a river?

    A good start.

    • Bill D. Burger

      A load of white sheet?

      • eggsacklywright

        It’s just like doing laundry, got to keep the whites and coloreds separate.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Pollution?

    • Creepoman

      An an(a)con(d)a?

    • Michael R

      KKK Bob ?

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Bait?

      • Naytch

        Chum?

    • Rags

      too few Klansmen

  • Martini Ambassador

    I know this is my snotty northern liberal elite bias talking, but “Malissa” just seems like a name that results from the mother not having real strong spelling skills when she filled out the birf certificate.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      You coastal elites people are all alike.

    • Wild Cat

      I knew it was only a matter of time before Pennsylvania became fascist when I met a guy from there named “Marck” for Mark or Marc.

    • SmokinGood

      OR…. It could be a contraction of Mal and Issa. Which, I think, translates into English as “Bad Jesus”.

      • PubOption

        Bad at stealing cars?

    • Lily412

      Black Canary! Yay!

      • Martini Ambassador

        I thought she was a good role model for the kick-ass woman I need to be in the new resistance.

    • Rags

      Nah – it’s sheer creativity, as seen in the East West Bowl.

      https://youtu.be/gODZzSOelss

      • Martini Ambassador

        Woah. Xmus Jaxon Flaxon-Waxon. I think I went to college with that guy.

        • Rags

          Yeah – he made a great team with his bud Flagdai Jaxoff Flaxoff-Waxoff. Remember when we used to cheer Waxon! Waxoff!!! ?

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        I always laugh at ‘Benedict Cumberbatch’.

  • More proof that rattling on and on about ‘Pepe the Lizard’ at anyone within earshot is NOT a good idea.

    • Cock Blockula

      “Frog, Frog! Pepe is an amphibian, not a reptile! Can’t you libtards get anything right?” –said every alt-right commenter ever, only I spelled the words correctly for the sake of readability.

  • KnaveOfSwords
  • Nounverb911
    • SmokinGood

      Well, better for the rest of us at least.

  • memzilla Ω
    • TJ Barke

      Fucking petty tyrant.

    • Blacktop Autumn

      With tax season beginning, California should begin withholding tax transfers to the US government.

      If they’re not going to get anything out of the federal government, then the federal government shouldn’t get a dime.

    • Example #23,364 of “THAT’S NOT HOW THIS WORKS!”

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I had 23,363. I must’ve missed one.

    • Bill D. Burger

      If he thinks that’s simply how it works….he’s in for an awakening.

      • Blacktop Autumn

        Laaaaaaawsuit.

    • Hutch

      Un-fucking-believable! It’s NoCal! You know, where your only CA supporters are!

    • I guess none of Trump’s properties are affected.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      There’s still that theory that Trump wants California to secede, taking it’s dirty, Dem electoral votes with it. Supposedly Thiel is the brainchild behind that long game looking toward 2020.

      • Ha. If that ever happened, other blue states would follow, and Trump might not be able to return home.

        • Claire

          New York is going to start its own secession movement the day it realizes that seceding means they can deny Trump a visa.

      • Nounverb911

        Doesn’t Thiel have a survivalist shack somewhere in New Zealand to hide in when the going gets tough?

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Yes, and supposedly has NZ citizenship as well, apparently bypassing the entire process. NZ is investigating this.

          • Ghenghis McCann

            Yup, in most places you’re actually supposed to live there before you can apply for citizenship. But if he thinks he’ll be safe in the Southern hemisphere when Trump launches the nukes, I recommend he reads Nevil Shute’s On The Beach.

        • keenanjay

          I read that he made a very large investment in the NZ economy that got him expedited citizenship handling. Big money makes you a better citizen, clearly.

      • theCryptofishist

        I read something on line about the guy behind ballot measure(s?) and his being backed by Russia. And that’s one of the points when you end up in the creepy part of the mind maze.

      • georgiaburning

        There was a libertarian split-the-state idea a few years ago that would have divided CA into five pieces, sort of a gerrymandering scheme since three of them would be Repub majority.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          I saw that BS.

    • Bill D. Burger

      As a state that pays far more TO the Federal Govt. than it receives FROM it, any such move would be disastrous, and not for CA.

      [Officials are looking for money that flows through Sacramento to the federal government that could be used to offset the potential loss of billions of dollars’ worth of federal funds if President Trump makes good on his threat to punish cities and states that don’t cooperate with federal agents’ requests to turn over undocumented immigrants, a senior government source in Sacramento said.

      The federal funds pay for a variety of state and local programs from law enforcement to homeless shelters.

      “California could very well become an organized non-payer,” said Willie Brown, Jr, a former speaker of the state Assembly in an interview recorded Friday for KPIX 5’s Sunday morning news. “They could recommend non-compliance with the federal tax code.”]

      http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2017/01/27/california-could-cut-off-feds-in-response-to-trump-threats/

    • Shan McStroppyPants
      • Blacktop Autumn

        That actually is a relief. I did think the Sacramento paper was called the “Bee.”

        • theCryptofishist

          Newspaper names are amazing.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Like the Times-Picayune in Louisiana. I have always loved that name.

        • Querolous

          As a youngster I remember my mother listening to Baseball games on KFBK. They advertised themselves as the Sacramento Bee Station. Hearing this I asked “So who is the “A” station?

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        There are good reasons to believe the headline is not true and it might even be the case that the article is just a small part in a publicity stunt for a movie along with several other fake articles and websites.

        Oh FFS. Yeah, and like Blacktop says, we should be getting our Sacramento news from the Bee.

        • Shan McStroppyPants

          I’m a long way from Sacramento! Sorry!

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        What is so sad is that it sounds true!

        • Shan McStroppyPants

          Yup. I’m gonna be more careful in future.

      • Bill D. Burger

        I did notice that this story cropped up this morning and suddenly was taken down on three different sites.
        Thanks for the confirm!

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Oh, don’t spoil our fun! It sounds truthy and like something petulant man-baby Twitler would do, so let’s take a page from their book (just this one time, I swear!) and pretend it’s real!

        • Shan McStroppyPants

          Can we use this fake news like it was used on Hillz and make him not get elected?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Along with all the poor-ass farmworkers, he’s going to be fucking the wealthy big-donor Republican farmers as well. Then again, as long as people at the bottom get hosed, they won’t mind.

  • Anna Rompage

    I have a feeling someone lower down in the organization was envious of the lovely cotton poly rob & hood set that Frank Ancona owned and jacked him for it…

    • Nounverb911

      Mixed fibers? isn’t that a stoning offense in the Bible?

      • Anna Rompage

        The old testament only applies to the gays, people of color, non-christains, and liberal women…

    • eggsacklywright

      Or succumbed to Malissa’s charms.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    OT: Let’s put this in the “sort of good news” column. If no one can stop the Trumpy tweety tirades, at least nice little puppies and kitties benefit.
    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/831129552999038976

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    I’m having a hard time mustering much in the way of sympathy here…maybe another cup of tea will help.

    • Nounverb911

      Deborah Kerr/John Kerr libelz!

      • Antonin Dvorak

        What about Graham Kerr?

        • Nounverb911

          He wasn’t in the movie.

    • Blacktop Autumn

      No, I can decidely tell you that tea is not empathy inducing for shitheels.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Well, I made my tea. And I still feel no sympathy. So you get a point. :)

    • snark-lurker

      i doubt it

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      Not much sympathy here either. My husband stumbled across this story last night. I chuckled & said isn’t that kind of equal to Nazi Punks getting punched in the face multiple times?

  • Juan de Fuca

    I figured this one out. It wasn’t the wife, it was the husband of the girl he was probably having an affair with. It was Jazzmyn’s old man.

    • Nounverb911

      With a candlestick in the parlor?

      • jodyleek

        With a .38 special in a rusted out conversion van?

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Down by the river…

          • eggsacklywright

            That’s RIB-BUH!

        • Fancy Meau-Faux

          This sounds like a good start to “White Trash Clue”:

          “Accidental” explosion in the meth lab

          Shovel out by the wood pile

          Etc.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Or the guy in GA that used his meth lab to make ricin and then drove himself to the hospital. The mayor of the town said that they had never seen so much law enforcement as when the Feds descended.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I suspected the wife right away, but the stepson was probably the shooter.

      • Juan de Fuca

        The only thing I’d put money on (and I normally don’t do this) is that the killer was probably white. Call it a hunch.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Wait? Wot? Not an animalistic black man named Shifty?

        • JesusWasAHippie

          But how does KourtneeLynn fit in?

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Me too. Basically as soon as I saw how her name was spelled I thought, “She did it.” I dunno why exactly.

        • Creepoman

          Every Malissa I know is married to a Klan wizard, so it only makes sense.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          You can never trust a Malissa!

    • eggsacklywright

      Fairyon Wardrip done it betcha.

    • chicken thief

      I figured the wife or the step son as the shooter, but it probably took two to lug his sorry ass down to the river to dispose of the body.

      • Querolous

        The step son found out that step dad was actually real dad.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Was about to wade out into a favorite trout stream when I looked down and saw a rib cage. Turned out to be a deer skeleton that appeared to get tangled in some tree roots and drowned. Creeped my out. Another time, during a stream cleanup, I found a dog skeleton in a garbage bag. Ugh. I fully expect to find human remains someday.

    • Wild Cat

      But your natural habitat is 20,000 leagues below the sea, Mister Blobfish.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      That’s one of my fears – finding a dead body. My other fears are getting bitten by a snake, and living in a country ruled by Republicans who were nominated by dumb rednecks. One time I had a bad dream that they elected Donald J. Trump. Ha ha…now THERE’S an outlandish nightmare.

      • Creepoman

        If only it were a nightmare. Now, every morning, about 20 seconds after the alarm goes off, it sinks in again. Fucking hell, we really did that.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          It’s difficult to believe that America was actually stupid enough to elect a completely unqualified, idiot, narcissist, con man to be president.

        • eggsacklywright

          I got you, babe.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Could you find a different hobby? Quilters, for example, rarely discover remains. And I have anecdotal evidence that stamp collecting is remarkably free of corpse-finding.

      • Marion in Savannah

        After years of knitting and doing embroidery I can tell you that I never came across a dead body.

        • magyar of infinite power

          Three years of quilting here. The only bodies I’ve found were right where I put them.

    • Rags

      My brother found a body under similar circumstances. Understandably, it troubled him for a very long time.

  • Michael Smith

    Ugh, what a shame! It was just getting to be a great time to be a Klanman in America!

    • Wild Cat

      Geico’s gonna have to come up with some klan insurance real fast.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    “That does not mean that we are enemies of the colored and mongrel race, but it does mean that we are organized to establish the solidarity and to realize the mission of the white race.”

    I bet all of you special little snowflakes are going to be upset about the words “mongrel race.” I’m so sick of all this political correctness. You dumb Libtards better get used to a new world order, now that we’ve got president Bannon in office.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      As a card-carrying member of the mongrel race, I for one welcome our new white overlords.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Sugar cave work available?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Will you be welcoming them with freedom projectiles?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    The story would have made a great reboot of Three’s Company. Instead of pretend to be gay, Jack would pretend not to be a racist.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Malissa? Is that the evil form of “Melissa”? Sheesh…hillbillies…

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Somebody in the maternity ward probably scratched out her mom’s first try, “muhlissa.”

  • Michael R
  • laughingnome

    With apologies to the Ramones, someone’s baby blew the KKK away.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Anyone remember that Virginia couple who were avid gun rights activists, who ended their marriage in a glorious blaze of freedom bullets? I can’t remember who shot who.

    • snark-lurker

      “–glorious blaze of freedom bullets…”
      that is POETRY!

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Thanks! I was going to call them “freedom projectiles” which might have been the better choice.

        • snark-lurker

          oh no donut you DARE! change a SINGLE! werd it wood not be poetic then & i would have a terribe sad, terrible, pathetic so sad

    • Juan de Fuca

      Was is it this one? If so, remind me to stay away from any girl named Malissa or Melissa.

      It was dark, about 8:30 p.m. on Friday, and the lights were on at the house in the 4400 block of Holmes Street Northeast. Inside, police and someone from the medical examiner’s office were processing evidence from a double homicide.
      About eight hours earlier, a man and woman shot each other to death in what police described as an incident that was “domestic in nature.”
      Police arrived to the house at 12:40 p.m. and discovered Melissa Lynn Cook, 43, and Bobby Ray Cundiff, 40, each with gunshot wounds. Cook died at the scene. Cundiff was taken to Carilion Roanoke Memorial Hospital, where he died.

      http://www.roanoke.com/news/crime/roanoke/couple-die-in-shooting-at-northeast-roanoke-residence/article_9a4dd3bf-579b-5ea3-bfff-a1f79d3a06ff.html

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I was actually thinking of this couple: Meleanie Hain garnered national attention when she arrived at her 5-year-old daughter’s soccer game on Sept. 11, 2008, in Lebanon County with a loaded pistol strapped to her hip, advocating her right to carry a handgun openly.
        The gun rights supporter was again the subject of headlines when her husband, Scott Hain, shot and killed her before killing himself on Oct. 7, 2009, in their home.

        Neighbors had reported the Hains were going through marital problems and had been arguing in the week leading up to the murder suicide.

        Hain murdered his wife while their three children were in the house, and she was communicating with a friend on a webcam.

        Several neighbors reported hearing the couple’s three children, ages 2, 6 and 10, running from the house yelling, “Daddy shot mommy.”

        While Googling I was reminded of the recent Texas gun rights advocate who shot her husband and daughters to death, also, too.

        • Juan de Fuca

          It’s almost like we should be more worried about Americans killing other Americans with guns than a Syrian refugee family coming here to escape that same type of violence. Then again, if I said that to a RWNJ, he’d probably reply with, “they could’ve just as easily killed each other with pearing knives!11!!”

          • magyar of infinite power

            And maybe, just maybe, if’n we had some (any) regulations on guns, we could keep those filthy A-Rabs from just buying guns to kill us all at any fucking gun show in the country.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          That Texas story was so disturbing.

      • MeerkatsRMammals

        Can confirm, Melissa’s are generally bad news…

        • magyar of infinite power

          Melissa McCarthy, Etheridge and/or Harris-Perry Libel!!!!!!

          • MeerkatsRMammals

            Shoot! Did NOT take those awesome Melissa’s into account. My apologies to the ladies with that name who aren’t whackadoodles ;)

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Whereas everyone I have met named Joyce is big trouble. Same with Fay.

  • Nounverb911

    OT for now….
    Trump to ask Trudeau why the Hudson Bay Company hates Ivanka….

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/831169341358014475

    • Warned_and_Persistent

      If Ivanka is feeling harassed she can in The Donald’s own words: “I would like to think she would find another career or find another company if that was the case”

    • Creepoman

      So the “leading business women” are going to be Ivanka and Melanomia?

      • magyar of infinite power

        Is iCarly still alive?

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          Was she ever?

          • magyar of infinite power

            Theoretically

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Poor Justin. When he got the job it looked like it would be fun, with that cool guy in the White House and all. Now he’s stuck explaining things on a second-grade level to a petulant man-baby. I bet he just loooooooves the idea of talking to “president” Jerk Baby.

    • yyyaz

      Yay! It’s 1949 again! The little ladies want to help their better halves, isn’t that sweet? *Translation*: Don’t ever let them know what we pay men and they’ll all go back to making cookies and babies.

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      At least this time around, he’s including an actual woman to discuss issues involving women

  • goonemeritus

    Huh, I guess every death doesn’t diminish us after all.

  • Creepoman

    Malissa, sweety, you really need to up your game. If Frank mysteriously ends up with a few holes in him while he’s hanging out on the couch, you can just attribute it to an “accident,” cleaning his gun and it went off, or the toddler picked it up and squeezed off a few rounds, you mistook him for a home invader. No charges filed – just another tragic, unavoidable accident. The price of liberty.

    And, man, did his concealed carry, always-on-hand sidearm sure keep him safe from the savage animals he was so askeerd of.

    • RC

      I’m assuming she’s white, so all she has to do is say she feared for her life. Oh wait, that might not work she has lady parts.

      • Maybe she was slow bringing him a sandwich and beer, and he justifiably threatened her? Just spitballing here…

        • chicken thief

          Prolly too much starch in the bedsheet uniform. He done warned her about that shit….

        • RC

          or she didn’t bring him his sunday breakfast in bed

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        He was white man so probably not.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I’m guessing “somebody” shot him in the back of the head, because you can’t be too careful around someone who is always armed.

      • RC

        one nice thing about living with a gun nut, the solution to your problems isn’t far away………

    • OneYieldRegular

      “No really, he took all his guns with him, every one of them, I didn’t have any of them, I swear, not even the one with which I might have shot that rat bastard who was about to run out on me. I mean, had I even had a gun. Allegeadally or whatever.”

      • magyar of infinite power

        Wow, that sounds just like the tweakers I used to work with. Coincidence?

    • FlemmishSpy

      The legislature of the flaccid penis state where I am currently serving time wants to “improve” the stand-your-ground law we have by placing the burden of proof on prosecutors that shootings weren’t justified.

      • The Wanderer

        Someone asked me if I was going to buy a gun, what with the “strengthening” of The Making White People Feel Safe Act. I said no, I was going to buy body armor.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Since it’s Missouri, would it be wrong to infer then that shooting people from Missouri is always justified?

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          It was until recently legal to kill Mormons in Missouri.

    • SnarkON

      Come on. Melissa will totally say “three black guys did it.”

  • Beanz&Berryz

    All these Klan groups are like the different Bibble versions… it’s hard to keep them all straight…

    • Querolous

      But if yous straighten them out they fit neatly in a pine box.

  • Ghenghis McCann

    “Traditionalist American Knights of the Ku Klux Klan” I suppose being shot dead during some sort of family dispute is pretty much an American tradition, unfortunately.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Plus also too… the “Traditionalist” seems a little deceptive if it’s a new kind of non-violet, nontraditional KKK…

      And, well, “American” is pretty fucking redundant with KKK…

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “Reform American Knights” sounded a little liberal, and a little Jew-ey also too.

  • cheetojeebus

    I wonder if the last thing he heard was ” Fuck You Dick Bag!” Too soon?

    • Marion in Savannah

      Not too soon at all. My only regret is that there is now one less Nazi to punch.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • cheetojeebus

    Are there no woodchippers?

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Woodchippers are hard to clean. Even with a high pressure hose.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    ‘Ancona’, eh? Doesn’t sound too Anglo-Saxon to me! He’s some kinda dago guinea goombah wop garlic muncher, oughta know his place.

    • You mean he was eyetalian? They’re not real white people, according to various immigration acts from back in the 1900’s! Not to mention… Catholic. Not real Christians! Tsk.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        PAPISTS!

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    You know what the Virginia State Flag sez….Sic Semper Tyrannis. With votes, of course.

  • Sandy Beaches

    Whoa! Wouldja lookee here! My “Give-A-Fuck” machine appears to be broken. Oh well.

    • The Wanderer

      I stopped producing fucks ages ago.

      • JesusWasAHippie

        Me too.

        I blame menopause.

  • Robert James Nugent

    If there’s anyone I hate more than the Romans…

  • Oblios_Cap

    I’ll bet he was lots of fun at parties. Especially the ones he didn’t go to.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    While I generally don’t subscribe to the theory that murderers should get off scot free, in this case I’d be willing to make an exception.

  • Lily412

    I won’t lie: it’s difficult to feel saddened by the death of someone whose goals were so abhorrent. However, I am a bit. I’m sorry this man was murdered, and I’m sorry for his friends and family who will miss him. This man was an asshole, but I feel no desire to celebrate his death.

    • Clyde Barrow

      I don’t think anyone here is actually celebrating his death, as opposed to just taking great pleasure in reading his obituary.

      • magyar of infinite power

        I won’t lie, I’m right on the edge with this one

      • Jennifer R

        I let out an audible “Whoo! Then started making jokes about garbage day, I think that’s celebrating.”

      • Lily412

        I’m not trying to throw stones or anything…just sharing my thoughts. It is a weird position to be in though, and I’m sure other people are reconciling the conflicting feelings in their heads. “How much bad must one do before we allow ourselves to hate them?” I can say that I definitely hated the man who molested my younger family members, and I was relieved (and not at all sad) when he died.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      I wouldn’t begrudge a celebration by anyone this guy hurt during his miserable life.

    • Jennifer R

      Sounds like his family did him in.

    • Jennaratrix

      You sound a like a good person who tries and succeeds in taking the higher road. I admire that, but I’ll be honest, I don’t even aspire to that in this case. He sounds like a terrible person, and while I don’t condone his murder, I’m not exactly sorry he’s dead. I don’t have enough compassion and empathy to grieve all deaths. I’m sticking with the ones that are actually sad.

  • BearGHAZI

    I have to know- are the KKK supporting Trump the LEGIT KKK? Like, with the rituals and everything?

  • Edith Prickly

    Karma is real, people.

  • Warned_and_Persistent

    “Who shall rid me of this turbulent grand kleagle?”

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Can we go kegel later?

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        You wouldn’t guess by looking at me, but I’m kegeling right now!

    • eggsacklywright

      And where do the Klaxons fall in the heirarchy?

      • richardgrabman

        In front of the Klown Kar.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    This administration can’t even Reichstagsbrand properly.

  • DahBoner

    Turn that frown upside-down, Cowpokes.
    https://media0.giphy.com/media/ocpi5cHiSEMDK/giphy.gif

  • Bill Slider

    It’s good to see that Kansas and Missouri still have their cliques: the KKK, apparently with competing branches, the Fred Phelps family that likes to protest military funerals, because of the gays, and the John Birch Society. What, you never hear of them anymore? Perhaps you know them by their newer name, the Republican Party. Except, they now love the Russians that they used to hate, so it gets confusing.

    • Jennifer R

      The KKK proper was shattered in the 30s, every group you see now is basically it’s own little clique. Lots of cross memberships and some of the groups are bigger than Bubba and his drinkin pals but there are thousands that really amount to about six people and some ruined bedsheets.

      • Buzz1313

        Cross Memberships! Hahaha!

  • JesusWasAHippie

    So you’re saying that Right Wing Klan Guy carried his trusty firearm with him at all times (as we all should, of course) and got shot to death anyway?

    That’s unpossible!

    • The Wanderer

      Wait a minute there. The mantra is “one good guy with a gun.” But all of these assholes are bad guys.

      • JesusWasAHippie

        I are so confused.

        • The Wanderer

          So are we all.

    • Buzz1313

      Funny how that keeps happening, huh?

  • The Wanderer

    Sounds like a white gang rumble.
    Now, the ancient tradition handed down to us by Solon of Athens way back in Classical times demands that I speak no ill of the dead.
    Fuck this guy, just as hard as I said “Fuck Fred Phelps.”

  • Crystalclear12

    White on white crime.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Why does nobody talk about this?

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Why doesn’t Trump do something?

  • timpundit

    I thought I’d have a tiny bit of class and not comment. And then I remembered we elected a White Supremacist. So, I now find the death funnier than hell, yes his death is hilarious to me, Best Death Ever.

    • Jennifer R

      Best of the year at least.

  • SnarkON

    Pretty obvious that his wife did it, which will be a shame if that’s how it turns out. They seemed like such a nice couple, and so in love. I mean, if those two couldn’t make it, who among us can?

    • JustDon’tSayPeriod.Period!

      AOU,K

  • I Am Helpy

    Fuck him.

  • Scrofula

    The East-Side Crackers and the South-Side Honkeys have been at war for generations; and they’re gonna end it to, as soon as they get their trucks off the blocks and those disability claims go through.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    *trump going to the funeral of his friend?

  • Lurkylu

    i am intoxicated by the recent resurgence in nazi face-punching, and i believe it to be a generally good thing. But this guy was probably just as much of a downtrodden sad sack as any of the other white power adherents.

    • Me not sure

      Yeah, … the Klan is just the Nazis without a dental plan. Still, a punch is better than a hole in the head. I wonder if she has had any takers for that new roommate ad?

      • JustDon’tSayPeriod.Period!

        *gasp* Could she have been Lori’s roommate? Malissa, what did you do to Lori?

  • Belasaurius

    Goddammit people, stop dumping your trash near rivers. There was probably a perfectly good trash barrel 30 yards away

    • Jennifer R

      Garbage Day is a required function of society, you would think people would master garbage goes in the can, not the river by now.

  • Yr. Gma

    Malissa? As in “That’s MA lissa right over there”?

    • JesusWasAHippie

      Mal Issa, as in, a very bad issa.

      • WBBsAs

        Probably a close relative of Darrell’s.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          Or his imaginary friend who is the “bad’ one who does all those fires and shit. No, Mal! Bad Mal! No! Oh, okay. Just hurry up.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Like Darrell?

        • JesusWasAHippie

          Exactly.

    • Me not sure

      That’s from the Latin meaning bad issa

      • Yr. Gma

        I see what you did there.

  • I Am Helpy
  • chicken thief

    “…I don’t believe he has any members. I think it’s just him.”

    Dead Ancona might have a point. If you don’t have other like minded hating haters joining you in your hate, can you be a friendly loving all whites welcome except gays and joos group?!

  • Shibusa

    Jesus wept.
    Or, not.

  • Treg Brown

    Fucking thoughts and prayers.

  • andyshelt

    Meanwhile murder detectives say they are getting closer to solving the case and after intensive investigations have now narrowed down the suspect list to under a million people.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I never EVER thought I would read “Park Hills, Missouri” in the national news, let alone on Wonkette. Park Hills used to be “Flat River” which was a much better name, since the Flat River runs through the town. This is the town where all my rural redneck bigot relatives live – the ones I occasionally write about in the non-comments. I am not at all surprised there was a KKK leader living in Leadwood. Leadwood is a TINY town adjacent to Park Hills. There are maybe 100 houses and a KFC. That whole area of Missouri was a bunch of lead mining camps 100 years ago, and each lead mine grew into a tiny town, all close to each other, and about 20 years ago some of these tiny towns merged with the larger Flat River into Park Hills. Leadwood refused to join the new town, which tells you something about Leadwood. After my last nice relative died 2 years ago, I took a solemn oath never to visit there again as long as I live. You can hardly imagine how backwards it is unless you have lived in a place like that. You can’t make coffee with the water in Park Hills because it is so full of minerals that coffee creamer won’t dissolve – it just turns into hard clumps. I’m sure this has affected the intelligence level there.

    • SadDemInTex

      Much is explained by the lead mining.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Definitely. And adjacent to each mine was a huge pile – like a large hill – of leftover crushed rock, which they call “chat”, therefore the piles are called “chat dumps.” There is still a tiny bit of lead in the chat, plus god knows what else. The dust from the chat dumps blows and settles over everything. When I was very little and visited my grandparents, all the boys in town would climb up the chat dumps and slide down them on pieces of metal – usually trash can lids. This can’t have been good for them. My mother refused to let us do it.
        http://www.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~mostfran/chatdumps_mining/index_chat_dumps.htm

        • Bongstar420

          Good mum

      • Jennifer R

        Here I was worrying what 20 years of pumping lead gas as a child did to me.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Lucky me, I never pumped lead gas. When I was a child, all the gas stations were full-service, just like the scene in “Back To The Future.” By the time I got my own car, everything was unleaded.

          • Jennifer R

            My mother was paranoid about what pumping leaded gas would do to her, and I was already obviously dinged up so she made me pump it as soon as I could work the handle.

          • Bongstar420

            Sorry..bad mum

          • Jennifer R

            SHitty people will be shitty, she isn’t allowed to be in my life any more and now sits home alone with a very fat house cat who hates her.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I’m sorry to hear that. People get so paranoid about little things, which always surprises me because there are so many big things to worry about. My grandma’s favorite expression was “Worry is interest paid on a debt that never comes due.” She was right, in some ways. Of course, she lived in a much simpler world.

        • theCryptofishist

          You were a child for 20 years? Pumping gas in infancy. You’ve lead a fascinating life.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        My god, that’s horrendous.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Yes, it is, but the Missouri Lead Belt used to produce 90% of the world’s lead before WWI, and for some time thereafter. It employed many thousands of people. Immigrants from all over the world came to Missouri to work in the lead mines. My grandfather worked there from 1910 until 1930, and I was told he was paid $10/week, but I don’t know if that was in 1930 or 1910. I know his family often went hungry. Only one mine is still open, and I am told the safety procedures are quite good, but I don’t believe it.

          • nightmoth

            Thx, Angela, for the info! Reading Wonkette makes me smarter.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            You’re welcome. There’s more to the story, if you’re interested. The lead mines recruited Hungarian immigrants in the early 1900’s, and there was ethnic and religious conflict with the locals resulting in a riot called “The Lead Belt Mining Riot.”
            https://www.mckendree.edu/web/scholars/summer2013/dohogne.htm

          • richardgrabman

            The lead mines were one reason the US was so anxious to acquire the Louisiana Territory.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            That’s true. Congratulations, very few people know about that. The St. Louis fur trade was another reason. If they had known there were a lot of caves in that area that were perfect for brewing and storing beer, that might have been another good reason, LOL.

    • Bitter Scribe

      Aren’t most rivers flat? Except for, you know, waterfalls and rapids and stuff like that?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        That’s exactly what I asked my father when I was about 8 years old. This particular river has large, irregular, flat sheets of limestone outcropping projecting from the banks of the river in various locations. You can see them about 1-2 ft under the water here and there. In some places you can walk/jump across the river on these limestone outcroppings. This is why it is called the “Flat River.” The fishing is very good.

        • Bongstar420

          Eating the fish may not be the best idea

          • Angela Ruzzo

            The fish are actually OK. The lead is deep underground, and the river runs pretty fast and is fed by dozens of other creeks and small rivers to the west, and the rainbow trout are absolutely delicious.

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      Lead mining. Yikes!

      • C4TWOMAN

        Yep. Lead poisoning gone wild, Imma guessing…

    • Bongstar420

      Wait…so these people live in areas with high lead?

      That makes sense given the effects Lead has on the brain. Google it

      • Angela Ruzzo

        They’ve been telling everyone there was no danger for 100 years. The lead is deep underground, they say, won’t hurt a fly. But to be honest I don’t know which is worse for the IQ level around there, the lead and other metals in the water, or the fact that they keep marrying their cousins. Perhaps one leads to the other.

  • SadDemInTex

    This post is excellent but the comments are fantstic. I will say that if I wasn’t so sure Mallisa was KKK herself I’d say good on her. But it is just the old tawdry story of spousal hatred. I just hope they all go to jail for a loooooooong time.

  • chicken thief

    If the shooter had bothered to dig a hole and bury that piece of shit it might have been a long time before anyone actually missed him.

    • Jennifer R

      Rational actions from lead addled racists? Let’s not just dive headlong in to fantasy.

      • Bongstar420

        Lead makes you crazy

    • WBBsAs

      Yes, but that would have contaminated the soil.

      • Bongstar420

        And then racist apples would grow and turn the future people who eat them into haters

  • Jennifer R

    Nice to see Garbage Day still happens.

  • BrianW

    I know that, according to the Rules, we are not supposed to wish death upon another person, or express pleasure at such deaths. So, instead of violating the Rules, I will say that the air seems a little clearer and more abundant today.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      We are merely reading his obituary with great satisfaction.

      • BrianW

        No, no. Any death is a tragedy, and diminishes us all [insert sad trombone noise here https://www.sadtrombone.com/?autoplay=true ]. Instead, as a friend of mine puts it, I simply say, “For some reason, today my salt tastes saltier and my sugar tastes sweeter.” (Programming note: One half of this message is snark. I leave it to the audience to decide which half it is.)

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          “I have never killed any one, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction.” -Clarence Darrow

          I take this as permission.

          • Bongstar420

            Why shouldn’t we cheer the absence of evil?

            Sorry, I believe its accurate to characterize them as evil

          • BrianW

            I took the “next” in your first response as a flippant dismissal. Clearly, I was incorrect in that reading. I think we’re in agreement on this. I don’t see how one less Klansman in the world is in ANY way a bad thing. My apologies for misreading the tone of your first response.

          • BrianW

            Well, one should never argue with Clarence Darrow, that’s for sure….

        • Bongstar420

          Right…The world is worse off without the Nazi.

          Next

          • BrianW

            Bongstar,
            I said part of the quote was snark. Clearly, you guessed the wrong part.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Clever as he was at turning a phrase, John Donne was wrong.

          I’m guessing, the second half?

          • BrianW

            BBBBBRRRAAAAAAPPP!!!! Wrong, but thanks for playing. As I just responded to Bongstar downthread, there is no way that one less Klansman in the world can be seen as a bad thing.

  • HogeyeGrex
  • That’s one less.

  • Jack

    Good to know he wasn’t killed in a KKK dispute but for just being you average asshole type.

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    I don’t have a problem with this.

  • Mavenmaven

    The inevitable stories of abuse, etc, will likely emerge soon enough, I mean, kinder gentler my you-know-what.

  • So Mr Ancona has finally reached the exalted rank of Good Klansman thanks to the efforts of an as yet unnamed party.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    KKKarma’s a bitch.

  • whitroth

    Hate group? Fuck that, they’re a TERRORIST ORGANIZATION, and I want to know why the fucking FIB, sorry, FBI has not declared them one decades ago.

    • Bongstar420

      Woaaaaa. Terrorists are brown muslims

      Everyone else is just a criminal

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Somehow, I am not overcome with grief.

  • Malissa?? That is a Disney villain name

  • Bongstar420

    LOL..The guy is such a superior individual that he was a delivery guy.

    Tremendous!

    We should all strive to be delivery guys who think we are the awesomest…heck, this man was way way superior to Niels DeGrasse Tyson for example, who is obviously gifted his job from unfair affirmative action laws.

    • Grokenstein

      Well, you know how it is: all the good jerbs is get tooken by Those People, and also, too, conspiracy. The irony being that he should’ve been watching out for the violent white people in his own house.

  • Claire

    Wife and stepson arrested for the murder. I mean, no one could have seen THAT plot twist coming, amirite?

  • Begin Anew Day

    How hard can it be to find twelve nitwits for a jury to decide this?

    The Bundy’s only needed a few fools to help let them skate for their piracy.

    All this wife will need is one rock-ribbed matron to get the jury hung. Plenty of women know the story where the husband decides that the wife has “let herself go” and he needs to trade up for a new ride.

    Women, pick up trucks, all terrain vehicles: down in dixie they are all just property.

  • John Mruzik

    Missouri, “The gateway to Kansas!”

    • lurch394

      Yes, and Arkansas, Oklahoma, and other garden spots of the western world.

  • FauxAntocles

    Sure it’s been said but:
    “Get DeClue, dude!”

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    There is a reason to keep the killing of Klan leaders a crime. This murder took out one Klan leader, and will put two Klan members out of circulation foverever. 3 at once.
    Now, what is Mr. Trump going to address this White on White crime in America?

  • Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild

    Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.

    • outdoar111

      Yes, he hand some relationship issues, so Stepchild, what was the wife and stepsons motive? Is there a go fund me account or something?

      • kareemachan

        Prolly.

  • Weevie

    Wonder if I’ll get my roommate deposit back if Mal Lissa goes to prison? I bought $57 worth of pork rinds, too.

  • Weevie

    Sad that the Klan is still attractive enough and there are losers plentiful enough that competition for the most DB preface to the K’s exists.

    They spend all their time obsessing over things most people never think of.

  • Goposaur

    good.

  • It’s been reference before, but boy do I know someobe who would have an appropriate eulogy prepared:

    http://jezebel.com/evil-mans-family-gives-him-the-obit-he-deserved-1792257787

  • HorseChestnut

    “Washington County coroner Brian DeClue”

    Who’s writing this shit?! Ugh, I hate this season.

  • phoenix00

    Breaking news: Malissa Ancona and son Paul Edward Jinkerson Jr charged with first degree murder.

    http://www.theroot.com/frank-ancona-kkk-imperial-wizard-found-dead-in-a-miss-1792267188

    So that was faster than Michael Flynn’s firing!

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    Now I taught the weeping willow how to cry,
    And I showed the clouds how to cover up a clear blue sky.
    And the tears that I cried for that woman are gonna flood you Big River.
    Then I’m gonna sit right here until I die.

    Read more: Johnny Cash – Big River Lyrics | MetroLyrics

  • davej1s

    Wife and son arrested…President Bannon has made no statement as yet.

  • Maybe

    Gee, good thing this guy had a gun so he could defend himself.

    So sad. Too bad.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Follow up article. Take a look at the lead photo. That is rural white trash Missouri at its best.
    Prosecutor: KKK leader may have been killed because he wanted divorce
    http://www.stltoday.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/wife-of-slain-kkk-held-in-jail-not-charged/article_c77319fd-8e22-5ecd-81e3-99104e818021.html

Previous articleIntelligence Community Keeping Hottest Gossip From Trump, Because He Can’t Be Trusted
Next articleWhich Of These States Can Hate Ladies THE MOST This Week?