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Plusgood doublethink duckspeaker, ungood suitpicker

There’s a nasty strain of flu going around, and now that Yr Doktor Zoom is on the mostly better side of it, we can offer you one very important bit of advice should you get the blasted thing: Do not watch White House press briefings while you’re still stricken, or you’ll think you’re in the grip of some horrific fever-induced hallucination. Not that Sean Spicer makes any more sense when your brain isn’t slightly broiled, but we had to go back to bed Wednesday after Spicer’s latest bizarre spin on the raid in Yemen that resulted in the deaths of a Navy SEAL and an 8-year-old American citizen, as well as multiple injuries among the American attackers, an unknown number of civilian deaths, and a total loss on a $70 million war machine. Asked if he still considered the raid a “success,” given all the details that have come out about the many things that went wrong in the operation, Spicer played the Last Refuge of a Scoundrel Card:

“It’s absolutely a success,” he said, “and anyone who would suggest it’s not a success does disservice to the life of Chief Ryan Owens. He fought knowing what was at stake in that mission, and anyone who would suggest otherwise doesn’t fully appreciate how successful that mission was, what the information that they were able to retrieve was, and how that will help prevent future terrorist attacks.”

You know what else was a success, by that metric? The American defense of Benghazi. Why does Donald Trump hate the late Christopher Stevens, and the four brave Americans who died there?

In response to a follow-up question noting Sen. John McCain had criticized the raid’s apparent lack of planning, Spicer added, “Anybody who undermines the success of the raid owes an apology and a disservice to the life of Chief Owens.” We’re pretty sure nobody really owes Chief Owens a disservice, but Sean Spicer certainly gave him one anyway.

It’s such perfectly Trumpian logic: Of course it was a success. If you think it was poorly planned or executed, you have dishonored the brave SEAL who died due to our poor planning and intelligence. After all, since a brave American died, the operation has to have been a success, because brave Americans never sacrifice themselves in failed missions, do they? Maybe under Barack Obama, a known loser, but not in the Trump era, because Americans are winners now, and don’t you ever forget it.

John McCain had said Tuesday he’d have a hard time calling a “success” any raid that results in the death of a soldier, multiple injuries, and the loss of a $70 million Osprey tilt-rotor aircraft. Why does he have such contempt for the life of Chief Owens, huh? McCain replied later Wednesday to Spicer’s idiotic comments, noting that it’s entirely possible for military actions to fail despite the heroism of those involved:

We might also refer Mr. Spicer to Tennyson’s “Charge of the Light Brigade,” which is all about the heroism of soldiers who rode to certain death even though they all knew the attack was hopeless, and that “someone had blundered.” Or perhaps we should now re-label that monumental waste of life a success, because the dead guys were so brave?

Haha, we are joking of course. Donald Trump won the election by a historic landslide, so the Yemen raid was a success, and anyone who says otherwise, like the military sources who said nearly everything went wrong and that the operation went forward “without sufficient intelligence, ground support or adequate backup preparations” is a loser who hates America. Lord Dampnut explained why John McCain is so blind in a series of tweets today:

See? This clusterfuck of a mission that may or may not have recovered some al Qaeda computer disks was a huge success, and to suggest otherwise emboldens the enemy, who will now think that shooting back is an option, one they hadn’t previously considered. When is John McCain going to be charged with treason, already?

Suggestion to the White House press corps for today’s 40-minute Hate: Ask Sean Spicer if the fact that many Americans served bravely (other than John McCain, who got captured) means that we actually won in Vietnam. Maybe we should go back to Hill 937 and take their Hamburger.

Even better, maybe point out that even chickenshit cowards end up winning sometimes, narrowly, because the universe is funny that way.

[ThinkProgress / Mediaite / The Hill]

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  • coozledad
  • chascates

    Every fucking day of this administration is going to be a fight. But truth will out.

  • bookish

    @ActualEPAFacts

    Today we are calling on @OfficeGovEthics to speak out on @KellyannePolls’ unethical act of endorsing @IvankaTrump’s brand. 202-482-9300 1/2

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Yeah, not working.

  • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

    I’m sensing a pattern.

  • goonemeritus

    We’re very sorry, in the future we will do our best to not behave like common Republicans.

  • beingreleased

    Can someone ask Spicer about this?
    Why is Trump rooting against U.S. troops in Mosul?

  • Crank Tango
  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    The most successful part of the operation is that we are now forbidden by Yemen from operating in their country. I’m sure all the terrorists there are saddened. Well done, Donald!

    • Oblios_Cap

      Success!

      • Shan McStroppy Pants(less)

        Every time I read a transcript of his now, I wanna snarl “Say SUCCESS one more time, mothafukka!”

  • memzilla Ω

    “Pearl Harbor. Tremendous success. Anyone who would suggest it’s not a success does disservice to the lives of 2,403 brave Americans and doesn’t fully appreciate how successful that mission was, what the information that they were able to retrieve was, and how that will help prevent future Japanese attacks.” #seanspicerhistory

    • Crank Tango

      “Wounded Knee. Tremendous success!”
      ETA Oops I meant Little Big Horn, doh.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Moro Crater. Bravery!

        • Creepoman

          My Lai – flawless victory!

    • marxalot

      “The Bay of Pigs was a complete operational success, and anyone who would suggest that it was not a success owes a disservice to the lives and memories of the brave Americans involved, and does not understand the importance of the mission and its totally successful objective, in which we completely succeeded.”

  • elviouslyqueer

    Somebody needs to go remind Cinnamon Orbit Spice that 1984 is not a how-to manual.

    • Oblios_Cap

      He’s the Great Pumpkin – All talk and never shows up.

  • Nounverb911
    • Oblios_Cap

      But the mission was a suckcess.

      • Nounverb911

        And trump did manage to avoid STDs during Vietnam too, also. More Success!

  • BadKitty904

    Sphincter does a really sucky take on Melissa McCarthy…

    • Shan McStroppy Pants(less)

      Scorrrrrch…

  • bookish

    HuffPost Green‏ @HuffPostGreen

    The Trump administration may shutter the EPA’s enforcement office, report says (link: http://huff.to/2kJCPtR) huff.to/2kJCPtR via @kate_sheppard and @nvisser

  • Oblios_Cap

    So the GOP have been pissing on the victims of the Benghazi attack all these years? About time they came clean.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      It’s OK to complain about casualties if the President is a Democrat. Just like Executive Orders and budget deficits.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    “It’s absolutely a success. And anyone who would suggest it’s not a success does disservice to the life of General George Armstrong Custer.”

    — one of Sean Sphincter’s predecessors

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “It’s absolutely a success,” he said, “and anyone who would suggest it’s not a success does disservice to the life of Chief Ryan Owens. He fought knowing what was at stake in that mission, and anyone who would suggest otherwise doesn’t fully appreciate how successful that mission was, what the information that they were able to retrieve was, and how that will help prevent future terrorist attacks.”

    But that doesn’t apply to the critics of BENGHAZI!!! because…?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c927fc287d54ab36ffa91bb9a276563633466686016d9485d30b62868a33dd8a.jpg

  • Nounverb911
    • BadKitty904

      It’s prolly suicidal.

    • DahBoner

      Coincidentally the Office of Government Gangsta is now open for business
      https://media1.giphy.com/media/iI55gFoKKu0q4/200_d.gif#24

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        Blingee! Damn, I miss Blingee Craft Art Afternoon here at the Wonkettorium. That had a good run.

    • therblig

      server tried dividing by zero

    • Résistance Land Shark

      The servers committed seppuku.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “You’re stilling my schtick! Support the troops, also too.”
    — George W. Bush

  • DahBoner

    Benghazi actually had a more successful…

    Body count.
    http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvmq0gcmif1r4s92yo4_250.gif

  • Anna Rompage

    If their idea of success is 30 civilians killed, a number of US forces injured & 1 KIA, and not fulfilling the primary goal of the mission by missing the main target, I hate to see what their idea of failure is…

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Anything where the blame is unarguably theirs. Still arguing? Not yet a failure.

    • TJ Barke

      Global thermonuclear war? But knowing them…

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Not to mention that the “intel” they got was ten years old. Ten. Years. Old. That’s dating from the Shrub administration. But hey, they got the disks and only somewhere between 30 and infinity people were hurt or killed, so, success.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Well, they think Obama as President and Hillary as Secretary of State were failtures. Hopefully, what they deem as familiar is actually something good for the rest of us.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    It’s OK to criticize if you’re Trump though:

    “Well Aleppo is a disaster,” he said. “It’s a humanitarian nightmare, but it has fallen from any standpoint. What do you need, a signed document?”

    What a fucking two faced piece of shit.

    • BadKitty904

      Yup, pretty much.

    • coozledad

      There isn’t a Republican alive who wouldn’t slide their tongue in his crack. Half of this country is completely debased.

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    I

    Just

    Can’t

    Anymore

    • Chadwells

      Same.

      Here.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    This legit made me laff. I think Spicer is just about to crack. One more Melissa McCarthy skit and I think we’ll have the desired effect.
    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/829710204778446852

    • randomhookup

      Which is a huge mistake to make if you are booking travel.

      • Querolous

        Jill Stein can feel his pain.

  • Swampgas_Man

    This explains Trump’s “Win so hard. . . we’re going to get sick of winning” comments during the election. A few more “triumph”s like this and we’re gonna be REALLY sick of “winning”.

    • Oblios_Cap

      I already am.

    • mancityRed6

      “gonna be”?

    • BadKitty904

      I imagine Ryan Owens’ family is pretty sick of it already.

    • Résistance Land Shark

      Can I just be sick?

      • marxalot

        I wouldn’t risk it, without Obamacare.

  • bookish

    2h
    Fire the Fool‏ @FIRE_THE_FOOL
    The ethics clause that states how @kellyannepolls just broke a federal law. Side note, @foxnews is now an infomercial channel #firethefool
    Embedded

  • andyshelt

    “We have always been at war with O̶c̶e̶a̶n̶i̶a̶ ̶E̶u̶r̶a̶s̶i̶a̶ ̶E̶a̶s̶t̶a̶s̶i̶a̶Yemen”
    Sean Spicer

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3ef672653422efd21f054fb74e4a522c3d48fc18f7ecb42ce09f12832db00f19.jpg

    • therblig

      there is no hope in the proles, since they’re the dumb fucks who elected this shithead.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    He fought knowing what was at stake in that mission, and anyone who would suggest otherwise doesn’t fully appreciate how successful that mission was, what the information that they were able to retrieve was, and how that will help prevent future terrorist attacks.

    No one is suggesting that Ryan Owens didn’t know what he was doing: we are suggesting that Donald Trump doesn’t know what the fuck he is doing. Not the same thing at all, asshole…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/242edebd46c0e6d9bf4ed6da9681e6d6008f410ca7b995cdce53b5be24f4c5da.gif

    • Suttree

      My father convinced a 12 year old Suttree that being a Seal wasn’t cool like in the movies. It was right around Operation Desert Freedom (or whatever the fuck it was called). It made sense to me, that some asshole would waste my life and not blink twice.

      • Alternative Pony Ron

        Fighting I understand. Humans fight cuz that’s what primates do. But the kind of thinking that allows one to see human lives as something you can ‘spend’… and I almost ended up choosing that as a career.

  • Nounverb911
  • Suttree

    Thanks Dok. I had seen the Benghazi!!!! defense in a twatter thread. I blame Obama lead pipes.
    ETA: The Benghazi Defense should be a new name for the chess gambit that is akin to 52 card pickup.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Better question – If Donald J. Trump cared so much, why was he not observing the operation in the Situation Room with his staff?

    “A commander is responsible for the lives of his crew, and for their deaths.”

    • Nounverb911

      His staff hasn’t found it yet.

      • Oblios_Cap

        They couldn’t find the light switches.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Anyone who would suggest that the Cabinet Room Stubbed Toe Incident was not a success does disservice to the health and wellbeing of Intern Heather McRomulan’s big toe.

      • Résistance Land Shark

        Google maps blocks the White House interior ….

    • Latverian Diplomat

      He’s refusing to go there until they make it look cool, like in the movies.

      • Shibusa

        Situation Room needz moar GOLD.

    • Clyde Barrow

      It’s hard to generate fake news when one is distracted by shiny objects.

    • Crank Tango

      Because they think The Situation Room is the spray-tan salon?
      https://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8amesVjXm1qc5l87o1_500.gif

      • LucindathePook

        Actually, I am pretty sure I read the SR has been renovated into a tanning salon.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Because somebody was wrong on the Internet and he had to fix that.

      • marxalot

        Wasn’t it during one of his 5 nightly hours of sleep?

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Nonsequential nightly hours.

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            The Twitter notification keeps waking him up.

    • aureolaborealis

      “So many tweets, so little time.”

    • shaar dula

      What room? these guys are in so many situations they need a situation mansion.

    • OneYieldRegular

      What, handle that in the middle of the Nordstrom crisis? It’s asking way too much for Trump to deal with two important things at once.

    • ThePuckStopsHere

      The shows were on, duh.

  • BadKitty904

    Perhaps if someone would explain to the Traitor-in-Chief that Rambo was not a documentary before he gets more American troops killed…?

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Next time, try a softer target. like Grenada.”
    — Ghost of Ronald Reagan

    • BadKitty904

      Or Rhode Island.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Bowling Green or GTFO.

      • Clyde Barrow

        The Providence cartel must be destroyed!

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Miskatonic University must be destroyed!

  • Clyde Barrow

    Only a sociopath considers a Pyrrhic victory something to brag about. Dumbass.

    • “There is a school of militart thought that says the side with the most causaulties wins”

      • Clyde Barrow

        Well hell, if it worked for Stalin, it’ll work for Trump. Let the conscriptions begin!

      • randomhookup

        Our bullet catchers are better than your bullet catchers.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Or a slack-jawed moran.

      • Suttree

        Cletus libelz!

  • ImPEECH!

    Me, attempting flawed logic to my boss: “Of course it’s a typo. How else could I get the rest of the document to look so great by comparison? Tremendous, even!”

    My oudtated, underperforming wardrobe to me: “If we weren’t so tragically unhip, you’d still be waiting for the time period when you bought us, decades ago for some of us, to hurry-up-and-get-retro-enough to be hip again. Beautiful!”

    My dog to my cat; ‘Fine, you can leap upward 20 times your height without breaking a bone. Do you STILL not understand how to dig holes in the dirt or retrieve the newspaper? Weak. Sad.”

    Neither do I think #winning means what Trumpy thinks it means. #logicFAIL

  • Me not sure

    “Honestly, and I must tell you this, the Trumptanic is the best ship ever. Nothing but the best food and accomodations. Nothing to worry about. Fabulous!” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/62f8faf785b4758c82afb404eaca2fc75a75d83b793a7e88f5e230abded833fc.jpg

    • Crank Tango

      It completed its journey way ahead of schedule.
      #sickofwinning

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Fun fact: White Star Lines actually fired all of the Titanic’s crew and stopped payment from the moment it started taking on water.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Reminds me of the “Insurance policy” at my last construction job.
        “If you fall off the ladder/scaffold/scissor-lift, etc., you’re fired before you hit the ground.”

        • Me not sure

          “Try not to leave a big mess.”

          • MynameisBlarney

            “They just laid the carpet, no blood stains, dammit!”

        • Me not sure

          “Try not to leave a mess.”

  • marxalot

    This is the definition of “winning” which has allowed 45* to view himself as a yuuuuge success despite multiple bankrupcies and the odd indictment.

  • arglebargle

    “without sufficient intelligence” should be Dampnut’s epitaph.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Secret Service codename “Dampnuts” would be kinda catchy, also too.

      • snark-lurker

        how about “raisin sack”

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Bawbag.

      • arglebargle

        BTW – graffiti in my college hangout bar men’s restroom…

        I piss, therefore I am.

    • BadKitty904

      It’s not about American lives, it’s about HEADLINES, dammit!

      ~ Donald Judas Trump

  • Oblios_Cap

    Kind of what you would expect from a guy who doesn’t know what the START treaty is, but thinks it’s a bad deal because Obama negotiated it.

    http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-trump-putin-idUSKBN15O2A5?il=0

    • BMW

      “Trump also talked about his own popularity, the sources said.”

      *sigh*

    • PubOption

      “It lets the CAA bill good Americans when their car battery dies north of the border.”

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • Nounverb911
    • Shoto

      “Democrats meeting w/ Trump today”

      Quick Question: Why?

      • Nounverb911

        So he has material for some fresh tweets?

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Fuck Manchin with a buttload of votes. Seriously.

    • Chadwells

      Manchin’s daughter is a fucking shyster piece of shit as much as Ivanka is….so I’m sure they bond over that.

    • BadKitty904

      In other words, Vichy Democrats…

      • Alternative Pony Ron

        They should read a bit of history, find out what the Free French partisans did to the Vichy government.

        • BadKitty904

          I’ve got a little list…

          • The Wanderer

            “Of society offenders who might well be underground . . . “

          • BadKitty904

            And who never would be missed…

          • The Wanderer

            “All people who have flabby hands and irritating laughs . . “

      • The Wanderer

        Quislings.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Heitkamp, Manchin, Tester and Donnelly. The four biggest Blue Dogs we have on our team. I’m surprised Warner wasn’t invited.

      • Résistance Land Shark

        Too busy shagging an intern. (Gender unknown at this time)

  • Mirful
  • Nounverb911
    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I experience actual, physical pain any time I find myself agreeing with Frum. Thanks, Trump.

  • DerrickWildcat

    You can get away with saying anything if you end your sentence with, “support our troops and God Bless America!”

    • Msgr_MΩment

      But the woman whose hoohah I grabbed slapped my face nonetheless.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Crank Tango

      George Soros is paying people to make donations!

      • MynameisBlarney

        In Bit-Coins!

      • ariel_gee_398

        Soros better save his money for funding an educational system for people who can’t afford private school but would like their kids to learn about something other than jesus.

      • Résistance Land Shark

        How do I get in on these SorosBux™?

  • BMW

    Can’t wait for the first wave of inside the Trump Administration books…. I think “Profiles In Hypocrisy” has a nice ring to it, but they’d better add “volume 1” to the end of it and update it with another 500 pages every 3 months.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      It’s like the opposite of releasing new “Game of Thrones” books, but with even more in-fighting, immorality and carnage.

      • Alternative Pony Ron

        And fewer likeable characters.

    • LucindathePook

      Like the old World Book Encyclopedia with annual updates.

      • Querolous

        Look that up in your Funk & Waglnalls!

    • randomhookup

      How about WHAT THE FUCK WERE WE THINKING??????

      • BMW

        I think they should save that one for a post-presidential tome.

  • ViveLaPersistence

    OT, but does anyone know if this is normal cuz if not, I may be a little scared.
    https://twitter.com/ReutersWorld/status/829730446602858498

    • MynameisBlarney

      Ol’ pooty-poot testing responses.

      • shivaskeeper

        We used to do shit like that not so much to test responses, but because we could. It gets done to us as well.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Yup.
          China did it via submarine a few years ago.
          And we did it to during the bush43 regime, when we lost that spy plane.

          • shivaskeeper

            Also the PT boats from Iran that buzz the Navy in the Persian Gulf all the time. I know a few Navy folks who cruised right past the port at Sevastopol while claiming the right of free passage. Granted it’s easier for the AF and Navies to do this that ground forces, But even ground forces will go right up to a border and see how long it takes for their mirror to show up.

    • Nounverb911

      Jinx!

    • shivaskeeper

      Most likely brinkmanship. Military’s do it all the time. You buzz them, they buzz you. You or they always send out an appropriate response without starting a war.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Yeah, IIRC it’s not a problem until one side or the other starts using an active weapons lock.

        • shivaskeeper

          I’ve done it at ground at borders. Don’t point a weapon, don;t take pictures, don’t wave at your mirror and they do the same to us.

      • Chyron HR

        …Has anyone told the President that?

        • Alternative Pony Ron

          And if they did, was he actually listening?

          • Skeptical_thinker

            And if he was listening, did he actually understand?

          • Alternative Pony Ron

            Pretty sure that’s an automatic ‘no.’

        • Thaumaturgist

          Tell The President? I believe it came up during the soup course. Or maybe the taco bowls.

        • shivaskeeper

          We all know not to shoot. It’s kind of a thing. No pointing weapons, no official pictures. Ignore the ass telling you to shoot.

        • MynameisBlarney

          He’s still trying to figure out just what the hell kind of boat a brinkmanship is and what they look like.

        • shivaskeeper

          If you brief a president who doesn’t listen, did the briefing take place?

    • Nounverb911
      • Oblios_Cap

        It’s cool; the Russkies sent their thoughts and prayers.

        http://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-38919426

      • Alternative Pony Ron

        Yup. Pooty is feeling REAL confident.

      • shivaskeeper

        That will be blamed on bad intell, or bad targeting.

        And I read the article as I was typing and it’s bad coordination and planning.

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      It used to be quite common. They’d fly parallel for a bit, the aircrews would photograph each other’s planes, everybody would go home. As was said, it’s a sort of brinksmanship, testing each others’ detection and interception capabilities. But I don’t think it’s been done much recently.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Recently, a certain orange globular structure deemed this kind of thing a provocation and threatened to fire on anyone doing it. I suspect this is Putinese for “Who’s yer daddy?”

    • Thaumaturgist

      What’s a little unnormal is that Russian planes have to fly quite a long way to reach the English Channel without invading someone else’s airspace. Russians haven’t done that in a while.

      • Nasty Candy Apple

        All they’d have to do is fly in a U-shape from Murmansk, actually…

    • Nasty Candy Apple

      Pretty sure the UK has scrambled jets because of Russians near their airspace in the last year or so. There were Russian fighter jets in the Gulf of Mexico, recently, too. They’ve been pulling this shit since the beginning of the Cold War.

    • Creepoman

      Ah, those crazy Cold War memories! Good times, man. If I had nickel for every time we were just one hair-trigger away from total global annihilation, I’d have a sock full of nickels that I could swing at my Trump-lovin’ brother-in-law.

  • goonemeritus

    To say the play Our American Cousin at Ford’s theater was any thing short of a triumph shows amazing disrespect to the memory of President Lincoln.

  • Nounverb911
    • SmokinGood

      Now, I’m not a military expert or nuthin’, but I’m having a REALLY hard time seeing a pair of anything in that picture there.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I hope they don’t find out that 62% of the Navy’s F/A-18s are grounded.

      • Alternative Pony Ron

        Are the tails falling off them again?

      • Beanz&Berryz

        WTF. Really? Is the Navy flying anything OTHER than F/A-18s – for shooting things?

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Really. A little over half of all the Navy’s aircraft are grounded for maintenance.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Ucking Fay… But… Aren’t F/A-18s the only F-anything that the Navy is flying en masse these days?

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Maybe the guys flying P-8s or P-3s carry pistols? I don’t know.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            And maybe a couple F-35s they can’t use for real yet, I think.

    • Creepoman

      Just taking Trump’s new Hair Force One out for a test flight.

      • The Wanderer

        I’m getting Bugs Bunny WW2 vibes now. “Victory Through Hare Power.”

    • Martini Ambassador

      There is a French military training base located not very far from my house. Yesterday one of their planes flew overhead and rattled the windows. Rattled my nerves too.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      What. the. actual. FUCK.

  • Benghazi was twice the success this piddly-assed operation was.

  • LarryHoudini

    “When you fuck up, instead of taking responsibility, attack your critics.”
    #MAGA

    • BadKitty904

      Knee-jerk cowardice, in other words…

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The Hallmark of the GOP and all Drumpfenproles.

    • Martini Ambassador

      The buck stops somewhere else.

    • MynameisBlarney

      “When caught in a blatant lie, threaten and double down.”
      #MAGA

  • Swampay

    Apologies for pissing on the folks who died at Benghazi in three, two, oh fuck, who am I kidding.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      exactly!

  • rocktonsam

    bitchy spice seems to aging right before our eyes too, also.

    • BadKitty904

      Not fast enough.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        He needs to age ala the Nazi villains in Raiders of the Lost Ark

        • BadKitty904

          Bingo.

    • marxalot

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Hi KellyAnne!

        • MynameisBlarney

          She got her hair done I see.

          • Résistance Land Shark

            prom photo.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Can we get Pat Smith to quit disrespecting her son on big public stages?

  • azeyote

    i thought if if you win the games over – when this fight between Abraham’s descendants religions is finally over there will be no winners –

  • Alternative Pony Ron

    If I were Donnie I might not want to be in a room alone with any SEALs. Just sayin’.

    • Résistance Land Shark

      No self-respecting Naval officer or seaman would be on the same continent.

  • randomhookup

    Remember that great American victory at Pearl Harbor!

    • LucindathePook

      and the Alamo.

      • randomhookup

        Let’s also remember that glorious victory at the sinking of the Maine!

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      We showed those nazis a thing or two!

  • Nockular cavity

    Other glorious military successes: Custer’s massacre, Dunkirk, both invasions of Russia.

    • Picabo

      Anzio?

      • MynameisBlarney

        The Battle of Isandlwana?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Russians in Afghanistan.

    • Picabo

      Battle of Dien Bien Phu?

      • The Wanderer

        The French commander exulted as his base was encircled, “We have them exactly where we want them now!”

    • Picabo

      Battle of Cannae?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Sphincter can blow me.

    • elviouslyqueer

      You wouldn’t be the first.*

      *Alternative fact? You be the judge!

    • Wild Cat

      In alt-factlandia, SpiceSpeaker has the whole of Fire Island in his mouth.

      This is true because I believe it.

      • MeerkatsRMammals

        So. Many. Dicks.

    • Thaumaturgist

      Sphincter is yours.

  • Nasty Candy Apple

    Yemen is the new Benghazi, Sean. Sucks to be you.

    • Wild Cat

      YEMENGHAZIGATE!!!!

      (Sounds like an ancient board game . . . )

  • weejee

    Pressed Spice Sean Spicer allegedly sez “the tRump administration is an reservoir of unending emoluments. So pay-up succahs!”

  • Sacrifice the young to the idol of war
    Satisfy the vanity of old deceitful cowards,
    Who send the young to die as heroes,
    as the liars christen the sacrifice: ‘victory’.

    • The Wanderer

      “Why, ’twas a very wicked thing!”
      Said little Wilhelmine.
      “Nay … nay … my little girl,” quoth he,
      “It was a famous victory.”

      – Southey, The Battle of Blenheim

    • aureolaborealis

      Sweet and just, his death was.

  • bookish

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/conway-may-have-broken-key-ethics-rule-by-touting-ivanka-trumps-products-experts-say/2017/02/09/fd1cc64a-eeda-11e6-b4ff-ac2cf509efe5_story.html?utm_term=.0806c716541e

    Said Peter Schweizer, who has worked closely with Trump aide Stephen K. Bannon and wrote the book “Clinton Cash,” which was critical of donations to the Clinton Foundation: “They’ve crossed a very, very important bright line, and it’s not good. To encourage Americans to buy goods from companies owned by the first family is totally out of bounds and needs to stop.

    “Clearly, the Trumps feel some of this is related to politics. But whether that’s true or not, these marketing battles need to be fought by Ivanka and her company. They cannot and should not be fought by government employees and the White House,” Schweizer said. “It’s time to move beyond the mind-set and the role of a businessman and assume the mantle of commander of chief.”

    • Wild Cat

      He still fucks dead rats.

    • Résistance Land Shark

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

      *breathe*

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    The man we were targeting wasn’t there. Win!

    • aureolaborealis

      But an American child was. Win!

    • MynameisBlarney

      Our target wasn’t there so we shot a bunch of kids instead.

  • Martini Ambassador

    Do you think that the military grunts that voted for this draft-dodging clown are starting to have a few teeny weency regrets yet? Especially in light of the fact that he didn’t even care enough about the mission to sit in the Situation Room while it was happening, instead prioritizing Tweering butt hurt about his daughter’s failing fashion line?

    • TJ Barke

      Naw, cuz let’s shoot some hajis, oorah!

      • aureolaborealis

        We’ve got Air Force and Army bases in my town. The conversations I’ve had with service members suggest that they are pretty sure they’re going back to war. This is bad news to the non-sociopaths, and great news to the guys who beat off at the chance to kill people – brown people, especially – without getting in trouble.

        • shivaskeeper

          There are a lot less sociopaths in uniform than you would think.

          • aureolaborealis

            How many do I think there are? I know people who fall into both of the categories I described.

          • shivaskeeper

            Sorry. I misread your comment and used an imprecise reply.

          • aureolaborealis

            And I was over-tetchy in my reply.

          • shivaskeeper

            No issues.

          • doktorzoom

            “Sociopaths in Uniform” was one of Reader’s Digest’s least popular features.

          • shivaskeeper

            I know. I remember it well, it was usually the feature after Laughter is the Best Medicine.

    • weejee

      I think there are more of us grunts who voted the other way, just sayin’.

    • shivaskeeper

      It’s hard for them to overcome the propaganda as well. Too many buy into the known fact that GOPers are strong on defense and patriotism and the Dems all hate the troops and America in general.

      I think this time around more went small L Libertarian than normal. The real trick is going to be to take the patriotism ball from the GOPers. To not allow them to be the only ones who get to play with it.

  • weejee

    Pressed Spice won’t make it to St. Patty’s Day.

    • BadKitty904

      Good.

    • Heyzeus Ahchay

      When was she the pope?

  • Master Contrail Program

    Even for the completely amoral and hypocritical being the middle link in this human centipede of propaganda and misinformation must be exhausting.

    Sooner or later we may see something like this. Could even be in two weeks.

    https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DXY5KTVA_2ys&ved=0ahUKEwi8i5KO04PSAhUIWSYKHR-tAKUQtwIIHzAB&usg=AFQjCNEcMtLDAsfQr8KyWriRxuPV2SOL9A&sig2=YNKmOA8woyoY27AtbXrAJA

  • Chadwells

    Observation: Nothing disgraces the death of this soldier more than the WH trying to spin this disaster raid into a fucking win.

    This should be obvious….and Spicer needs to eat a fucking bag of dicks.

    • shivaskeeper

      Not just him.

      • Chadwells

        All of them…every single one of these idiots…

  • Wild Cat

    More neo-nazi projection from these parasites, as US troops often defile the corpses’ of enemy soldiers. We even defile them when alive, or let psychotic allies torture and rape these people in defiance of the Geneva Convention.

    • The Wanderer

      About a decade back, there was video of US soldiers urinating on the corpses of three dead Taliban. The video was yanked at almost tachyon speeds, but the damage was obvious.

      • Wild Cat

        I remember that well. Sadly.

      • shivaskeeper

        And they did get in trouble over it as well. Young troops do stupid shit. It’s what young troops do. They also get caught doing stupid shit and punished for it.

        • The Wanderer

          And well they should have, like the two Marines who threw a puppy off a cliff just for kicks.

          • shivaskeeper

            There are assholes everywhere. Unfortunately you cannot keep your eye on them 24/7. They do dumb, illegal, or immoral shit and they get burned for it when they get caught.

          • The Wanderer

            Believe me, I know that.

  • Crystalclear12

    I’m Ryan’s family is glad the mission was a “success” instead of well planned.

    • BadKitty904

      Hey, planning takes away from valuable Twittering time…

  • OrG

    Good to know we’re winning.I was starting to feel a little lose-y.Thanks,sean.

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    With friends like the Trump Administration, the Yemenis don’t need enemies.

    • Now try saying “Enemy of the Yemenis” 5 times fast.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Isn’t that where Nemo lives?

  • elviouslyqueer

    “Draft dodging thin-skinned orange-colored dampnutted dildo says what about me?”

    –Walnuts, approximately now.

  • MeerkatsRMammals

    Anyone else tired of all the winning yet?

    • Chadwells

      Didn’t he promise that we would get sick of it? LOL….ugh….

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      You misspelled “whining”

    • Wild Cat

      I’m still waiting for my Cold War and Iraq War I & 2 dividend checks . . .

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        My Soros check is late. Again.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Oh, so this morning Trump met with airline executives. Basically, in Trump’s opinion the problem is that our planes are too old, the equipment at airports is the wrong equipment, and the FAA would be better able to work with airlines if the head of it was a pilot.
    I wish I was kidding here…

    • BadKitty904

      And what about their hand-towels??1?

    • And, given the YUUUUUGE success of Trump Airlines – which I assume is the most successful airline in the world by now, it must be – he’s the most qualified person who knows the best things, words and people about that.

      • LesBontemps

        If you don’t acknowledge the amazing success of Trump Airlines you are pissing on the dead flight attendants who heroically served drinks under the most hostile conditions.

    • Chadwells

      And he told them we need more trains….

      • o’look Skwerl!

        I’m so pissed at the FAA right now for not putting a bar car in every train.

      • SmokinGood

        I had to read that part like six times. Even by Trump standards, it was off the fucking wall. And I say that as a person who really would like a lot more trains.

    • President* Donny Dumbass should know!!! He owned an airline once for pete’s sake!

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Wouldn’t the people who make the… You know what I’m not going to logic in the face of this. Just stare aghast.

    • HogeyeGrex

      “We’ll make it number one,” POTUS joked to the head of LAX, who said her airport was the seventh largest airport in the world.

      Upon being informed that the Atlanta airport is the largest, POTUS remarked that he loves the state of Georgia.

      FFS

      • The Wanderer

        Phew, what a looney.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Not “a pilot” … Trump’s pilot.

    • HogeyeGrex

      POTUS said that the system could potentially work better if FAA was run by a pilot because it is not currently, as a meeting attendee confirmed for him.

      At least he’s consistent. I mean, he thinks being able to lose money owning a casino is a qualification for running the country.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Hiding behind others’ heroism to deflect from your own failures is pretty fucking low, even for Trump and Spicer.

    Trump’s a vulgar dumbass, a sociopath and a done deal, a lost cause, and this won’t even register as a bad thing to do.

    I know Spicer knows better and one wonders what sort of toll this dance with the devil must be taking on him.

    • BadKitty904

      Not nearly a heavy enough toll if he’s still doing it.

  • Sean Spicer: Criticizing Trump’s Yemen Clusterfuck Means You Piss On Dead Troops

    Which is completely unlike what the asshole Rethugliclowns and their asshole Tea Party enthusiasts did with Benghazi and their nine investigations and the perpetual constant whining about that event.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Donghazi!

    • janecita

      Bullshitghazi!

  • bookish
  • Chadwells

    Anyone else think that Spicer would look great in an SS uniform?

    • President Bannon does…

    • aureolaborealis

      A crotchless SS uniform with a peacock feather sticking out of his ass? And clown makeup? Sure, why not.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Great? As in “at home” or ‘natural’?

      • Chadwells

        YES!! Thank you for fixing that!!!

    • BadKitty904

      It’d be a Triumph of the Shill…

      • The Wanderer

        Produced by Kenny Beefenstall?

      • laughingnome

        I wish they would quit Riefenstahling and just get on with it.

    • RumAddled

      I think you mean “will” look great. It’s just a matter of time.

  • UnicornDonkey

    Trump has the nerve to criticize an expert in failed missions. Cheeto Benito has no self-awareness

  • Swampay

    Funny, SCROTUS didn’t seem to mind emboldening the enemy by talking about the success or failure of missions and strategy before.

    • The Wanderer

      SCROTUS is already God’s gift to terrorist dingbats.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      SCROTUS?

      • Swampay

        So-Called Ruler of the United States

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Ahh. Thanks. The context makes perfect sense, but I’d love to get a title to spell out SCROTUMS. But that’s just my middle school sense of humor shining through.

          So-Called Ruler of the United M______ States

          • thewalkindude

            ‘Merican?

          • LesBontemps

            Motherfucking?

          • thewalkindude

            Only if you’re Samuel L. Jackson, I think…

  • Proud Liberal
    • BadKitty904

      This is too heartbreaking to read while I’m at work…

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yeah…I skimmed the 1st few paragraphs…to say that it’s really fucking horrible is a massive understatement.

        • BadKitty904

          I have a lot of family in the military. All I can picture is one of them caught in this kind of incompetent, pointless GOP fuckery.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Yup, the whole thing fell apart from the word “go”. And handed a major propaganda victory to al Qaeda and Daesh.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    This reminds me of the time when Abraham Lincoln’s press secretary Ebeneezer Cadwallader Spicer said that criticizing Gen. McClellan was akin to “micturating on the headstones and hearthstones of our glorious brave fallen militiamen.”

    • aureolaborealis

      McClellan. That fucking guy.

      • The Wanderer

        He created a sharp instrument, but didn’t know how to use it. Grant did.

      • Crank Tango

        His tweets were deliciously bitchy tho.
        @REALgeorgemclellan “The President is no more than a well-meaning baboon. I went to the White House directly after tea, where I found ‘The Original Gorilla’, about as intelligent as ever. What a specimen to be at the head of our affairs now.”
        #MAGA, #buyivanka, #dotdotdashdotdot

    • Dudleydidwrong

      I read that Tweet when Lincoln tweeted it. I followed Lincoln every day. The presser just regurgitated the tweet.

      • Scrofula

        I think the Douglass debates are streaming on MSNBC

        • LesBontemps

          Frederick Douglass has been dong an amazing job and is being recognized more and more, I notice.

  • Proud Liberal
    • Martini Ambassador

      Is this from the Yemen raid?

      • Proud Liberal

        Yes.

        • Martini Ambassador

          Ug.

    • aureolaborealis

      That’s, like, double success, if she was a teacher. Anyone know if she was in a teacher’s union? That would be a further success multiplier.

      • clubseal

        Especially if she was teaching using Common Core. Right wing jackpot.

  • bookish

    https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/02/nordstrom-und-drang/516126/

    It’s easy to deride the Nordstrom feud as some sort of strange sideshow, and it’s certainly true that a spat between a department store and the president and his aides is not of the utmost governing importance. But then again, this is the president using the messaging apparatus of the federal government to try to bully private companies for the financial benefit of his daughter, and it’s only one of several places where Trump seems to be using the government for personal enrichment.

    The other disconcerting current here is the willingness of the White House to thumb its nose at the rules. The administration seems to be gradually feeling out what it can get away with. Trump once said he’d release his tax returns, eventually; increasingly, he and aides say no one cares. He said he’d take care of conflicts of interest, then floated a plan that experts said was unacceptable. But without anyone forcing him to adopt a more robust plan, why would he?

    • Proud Liberal

      The entire family are grifters! They are going to take this country for everything they can get.

      • The Wanderer

        And people knew this six years ago.

        • Proud Liberal

          Yes, the American people are pathetic.

        • HogeyeGrex

          People knew this thirty years ago.

    • ariel_gee_398

      It’s not just rules about ethics or conflicts of interest. The entire administration apparently feels completely unconstrained by the Constitution, the rule of law, moral or ethical guidelines, or accepted norms of behavior.

    • Bebecca

      I think he can get away with just about anything. Who is going to stop him?

      • Peggy Ryan

        That little weasel in North Korea will, when Trump hangs up on HIM.

    • azeyote

      less time spent on some of the real stupid shit he says – his clueless quote to sheriffs in support asset forfeiture –
      THE PRESIDENT: So what do you do? So in other words, they have a huge stash of drugs. So in the old days, you take it. Now we’re criticized
      if we take it. So who gets it? What happens to it? Tell them to keep
      it?
      the rest of it doesn’t make any more sense than that did – – https://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2017/02/07/remarks-president-trump-roundtable-county-sheriffs

      • Raan

        You book it as evidence and destroy it after the trial because THAT’S HOW LAW WORKS.

  • cheetojeebus

    Pyrrhic victor says what? Interesting aside, One of the leaders of the Romans killed in the battle was one Publius Decius Mus, who’s name has been taken as a pseudonym by crazed white supremacist and pig shit encrusted turd polisher Michael Anton, now a National Security Advisor (LoL) to Lord Dampnut.

    • The Wanderer

      He should have stuck with Quintilius Varus.

      • Picabo

        Or Gaius Terentius Varro.

        • HogeyeGrex

          Pupienus Maximus.

          • Raan

            General Tullius?

          • The Wanderer

            Naughtius Maximus.

    • BadKitty904

      If Trumpeus goes to war, he will destroy a great nation.

      ~ The Delphic Oracle

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      and just outed by the media

      • cheetojeebus

        Excellent read by Chait on this monstrous douchebag filled with aged elephant piss.

        • TJ Barke

          What a seemingly reasonable person. /s

      • The Wanderer

        From the look of him, another outing might be on the horizon.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    And with that, we can look forward to many more “successful” missions under Trump.

    • Proud Liberal

      It’s the beginning of slaughter like we have never seen before.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “They’re very smart people. They understand that the war in Iraq is a disaster and was a disaster. It totally destabilized the Middle East,” [Trump] said.

    4,424 American soldiers pissed on.

    • Proud Liberal

      Standing ovation.

      • Berthajbuchanan

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !mj617d:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !mj617d:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash617HomeMoneyGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!mj617d:….,…….

    • YoBunnyBunny

      But it’s Trump Russian Hooker Pee, so just TREMENDOUS. They should be honored…

  • Scrofula

    “doesn’t fully appreciate how successful that mission was, what the information that they were able to retrieve was, and how that will help prevent future terrorist attacks.”
    Hey Mr. Press Secretary, why don’t you TELL US then?

    • clubseal

      When we fuck up, it’s a crime for anyone to tell us, and when we do something that “protects us from terrorism,” the government can’t tell us about it and we just need to take their word. Get with the program already.

  • janecita

    Senator Manchin having lunch with the so called president.

    • Chadwells

      Manchin’s daughter – Heather Bresch (CEO of Mylan of Epi-Pen price gouge fame)

      Makes sense to me that that traitor Manchin and Dampnut are butt buddies.

      • BadKitty904

        Turds of a feather…

      • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

        OoooOOOoooooh. Now that makes sense.

        • Chadwells

          Manchin’s wife is also president of the WVa board of education…..and she mandated that all schools in WVa carry a surplus of….you guessed it….EPI-PENS!!! The entire family is as trashtastic as Dampnuts.

          • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

            I’m learning so much since the election, and only 99% of it is wildly depressing!

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Butt buddy LIBELZ!!1!

    • snark-lurker

      is Manchin Ballchinian by any chance?

    • PubOption

      Was it in appreciation of his vote on Sessions, or did Trump think he had invited Mnuchin.

  • msanthropesmr

    “we have no shame”. – gop

    • BadKitty904

      And we’re proud of that fact.

      • snark-lurker

        dirty rotten fuckers

      • HogeyeGrex

        And we’re proud of you need to admire us for that fact.

        bleh

      • OrG

        Take that Liberals!

    • snark-lurker

      –no sense of decency–

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    The guy who claims America isn’t great and that the US military has been losing for the last 15 years said what?

    • Scrofula

      Loser Obama lost a helicopter in a raid too! And hey, a guy got shot on that one!

  • Chadwells

    OT: About fucking time.

    “An Innocent Man Mike Pence Refused To Pardon Finally Sees Justice”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/keith-cooper-pardon-pence-holcomb_us_589ca023e4b04061313c0414?ir=Politics&utm_hp_ref=politics

    • Heyzeus Ahchay

      He killed Pence?

      • Chadwells

        We can dream…

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Lyin’ Sean is trying to distract us from the Atlanta Massacre

    • BadKitty904

      Atlanta? I thought it was Springfield. Or maybe Shelbyville?

      • Raan

        I had heard it was either Brockway, Ogdenville, or North Haverbrook.

        • elviouslyqueer

          Piscataway LIBEL!

          • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

            Cucamonga!

    • Nockular cavity

      No, Atlanta was destroyed by the Bowling Green Supervolcano.

  • bookish
  • MynameisBlarney

    A bit late, but hey…better late than never.

    http://www.democraticunderground.com/10141696253

  • Me not sure

    Spicer has repeatedly mentioned an Atlanta terrorist attack. The one that I remember was carried out by Olympic bomber and two time abortion clinic bomber, Eric Robert Rudolf. What? …Not terrorism? Oh…just not Muslim.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Oh, he meant Orlando. Really. Those cities with identical vowels at the beginning and end always trip him up.

      • Me not sure

        Cities,…seen one ya seen ’em all.

        • OrG

          NOT real murrikkka.

        • And once you’ve seen one collection of stores under a single roof, you’ve seen a mall.

      • Heyzeus Ahchay

        So THAT’s why I keep ending up in Ulandu!!!

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        Yeah. I laughed long and hard at that explanation.

    • Shan McStroppy Pants(less)

      It’s not domestic terrorism to bomb women’s clinics, it’s free speech.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Money is free speech, bombs cost money. QED.

        • snark-lurker

          need to ponder this pearl of wizdom for a bit

      • tomamitai

        I think it may be a sacrament in some churches.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        I remember when that would have been snark.
        Good times, good times.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      San Bernardino, Orlando and . . . oops.

  • chiefkurtz

    I’m worried if there’s a flair up of sectarian violence, Trump will order airstrikes on Sectaria.

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      Or he’ll grope his secretary….

      • tomamitai

        He’ll do that anyway, but she won’t notice because of his tiny, tiny hands.

    • That’s a good one.

  • CindyinEncinitas

    Whoever decided the Osprey was the best vehicle for the job would be the first person I’d investigate.

    • Chadwells

      Someone told Dampnut it had a “whisper-mode” like Airwolf.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Airwolf’s whisper mode was totally awesome. All you can hear is 80s synth music as it approaches.

    • cheetojeebus

      I know fuck all about military aircraft but even I know that thing is a whirling piece of shit that is about as reliable as ford pinto in a snow storm.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Unkillable because the factory was in the wrong congressional district. A lot of military procurement has more to do with bringing home the bacon than with actual needs of National Defense.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          True – I think the F-35 has parts made in something like 30 different states or somesuch just to make sure enough grease gets applied to keep it in production.

    • TJ Barke

      Turns out combining a plane and a helicopter leaves one with a shittier version of both.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Okay what if we add a boat into the mix?

    • The Wanderer

      I recall reading where certain soldiers supported the Osprey – as a vehicle for transporting general officers and VIPs.

  • Proud Liberal
    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I still wish they’d do one, long skit of “A Day in the White House” even though it’s logistically a total pain in the ass. I mean, you’d have breaks for the musical guest and Weekend Update (and immediate White House feedback to Weekend Update), but I do realize it’s too much to ask. Would be fun, though.

      • Blackest Noobs

        it would mostly consist of Alec aping Trump wearing a bathrobe moaning about his fake poll numbers and watching way too much television and tweeting too often on his golden pooper.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Why do I get the feeling that their definition of “winning” is “more foreign brown people were killed than Americans”?

  • clubseal

    I’m probably naive, but I feel like there was a time where it took a couple decades before you could call criticism of any of our dear military’s actions a “disservice to the troops.”
    I’m perhaps unfortunately short on patriotism when it comes to this shit, but I’d bet a million bucks that we wouldn’t even be talking about this if only a bunch of foreign civilians died, because that’s what happens in war, not the deaths of soldiers, which is somehow worse, apparently.

  • Proud Liberal
    • Chadwells

      Just another day….

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      That does it. Obama needs to host the next WHCA dinner.

    • Alexander Stallwitz
      • Rags

        Needs a 45

    • Thiazin Red

      Filed under: Terrifying but not surprising in any way

    • MynameisBlarney
    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Water table’s to high to build a bomb shelter here…what’s Plan B?

      • jowgajen

        Run towards the explosion to reduce your suffering.

        • georgiaburning

          If you hear it, it’s already too late

      • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

        Hoping you get hit first? That’s my plan.

      • Kissing your ass goodbye?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        I plan to park across from the relevant embassy, and when they pile out into U-Haul trucks in the middle of the night, follow them.

    • Well, Obama was for it. Of course Trump was against it. If I were a reporter, I’d like to tell Trump that Obama was in favor of breathing….

      • “Mr Trump, a followup question, how do you feel about Obama’s decision to not leap to his death from the top of the Hoover dam? Will you, as president, correct this outrageous, unpresidential action?”

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      That’s about as good as the time he had to have Angela Merkel explain the Geneva Convention to him. “I’m violating the whaaaaat?”

  • Thiazin Red

    Okay, I would bet my savings account that Mattis did not say that, because Mattis does not appear to be insane, stupid or insane and stupid. He seems like a competent guy who would know the difference.

  • Rick Hill

    Embolden the enemy? They get any more of that and we’re all going to be speaking Sanskrit and wearing turbans. I mean, after all the emboldening the gop and even the guy occupying the WH have done over the last 8 years…

  • Chadwells

    OT: So. Fucking. PISSED.

    “Mother (Guadalupe García de Rayos) deported in Arizona immigration case that sparked protests

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/02/09/us/arizona-guadalupe-garcia-de-rayos-protests/

    • Proud Liberal

      It was heartbreaking to watch!

      • Chadwells

        I couldn’t watch that…like physically couldn’t…

  • Heyzeus Ahchay

    “You know what else was a success, by that metric? The American defense of Benghazi. Why does Donald Trump hate the late Christopher Stevens, and the four brave Americans who died there?”
    — EXCELLENT question. Where’s the outrage? Oh, yeah, SHE lost, as planned.

  • MynameisBlarney

    “Mental Health Services”…

    Meaning Thorazine, straight-jackets and rubber-rooms?

    http://crooksandliars.com/2017/02/dem-rep-introduce-bill-get-trump-much

    • Thiazin Red

      Well the active ingredient in thorazine is really cheap.

  • Picabo

    I’ve been waiting for this. Jim Wright at Stonekettle Station.
    http://www.stonekettle.com/

    • Marceline

      Great minds think alike!

    • Sister the Persister

      Excellent, thanks for the link!

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • snark-lurker

      wut doz it say i caannut reed?

      • Shan McStroppy Pants(less)

        Trumpsterrhea quotes.

      • Sister the Persister

        All about him being the best, the most, the biggest, etc etc etc etc etc.

    • LucindathePook

      Hand silhouette way too big, though.

  • kindness

    I sure wish I wouldn’t get charged with a felony for taking baseball bats the these moron’s heads.

    • Chadwells

      I say this on a daily basis and dream about it every night.

    • doktorzoom

      You’ll also get a warning from the Moderator to review the rules.

      — Dok Zoom, Yr Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator

  • snark-lurker

    clearly 3rd world 2nd class terrorists…still using computer DISKS for data storage?! sad, truly pathetic

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Trump fought a greater war than Vietnam: hookers and bone spurs. That’s why he didn’t go, uncle Sam had a greater mission for him #neverforget

    • ViveLaPersistence

      Plus if he had gone to Vietnam and been killed like a common patriot, he never could’ve stopped, with his tiny hands, the horror of Bowling Green #bonespurshurt

  • Blackest Noobs

    never forget. make Republicans hurt in 2018.
    hurt them badly..with votes.

    • jowgajen

      A little hurting with legal proceedings, fines, and jail would be acceptable too.

      • Blackest Noobs

        that’s a start..but kicking them out of office would be FLAWLESS VICTORY.

        i hope they fucking go ahead with their asinine plan of repealing the ACA and then waiting two years to replace it ( yes folks that the GOP big plan for health care)…however it goes against what Trump wants ( repeal and replace at the same damn time, no 2 year break)

        but Republican lately tend to do the stupid fucking thing…..so here’s hoping they do the stupid thing….it will make them lose BIGLY in 2018.

        • Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. One of their biggest priorities is making sure the “wrong” people (see: people who will likely not vote for them) are not permitted to enter the voting booth. They’ve been pulling shady voter suppression shit for the past seven years at least (how else do you explain the re-elections alongside the 9% Congressional approval rating?) They’re going to amp the fuck up.

          • Blackest Noobs

            however the last midterms was the worst turn out in 70 years.
            yes i understand voter suppression is out there…but we can work around it…like ensuring those people without picture ids have picture ids.

            what needs to be done is getting the turn out to vote in 2018 to be astronomical….i am almost totally positive a big turn out will turn the tide.

            they win when we don’t get out to vote.

          • Roadstergal

            Voter suppression helped deliver the WH to Drumpf, and they’re only going to crank it up to 11.

          • Rags

            I would like to hope that the torrent of moneyz the ACLU received might give them the resources to be more effective.

    • Resistance Fighter MausFeet
      • The Wanderer

        SANNNDSTORRRMMM . . .

        • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

          roooock climmmbinggg

          • doktorzoom

            How much Keefe in this movie?

            MILES O’Keefe!

          • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

            I am glad you are less flu-y. We need you (Alan) hale and hearty.

    • Logic of Color

      “…with votes.” …and send them through the spanking machine.

    • Hardly Ideal

      (clutches sparring-grade polycarbonate lightsaber)
      …yeah, yeah, “with votes,” mumble grumble…

  • Marceline

    I don’t know if any of you here are familiar with Jim Wright’s Stonekettle Station blog. He’s a retired US Navy Chief Warrant Officer who blogs about politics. If you’re interested in the view of a veteran on this mess, it’s one hell of a read.

    http://www.stonekettle.com/2017/02/into-valley-of-death-again.html

    • Picabo

      I read his blog and on Twitter.

    • Proud Liberal

      Very excellent read. Thanks for posting!

    • ViveLaPersistence

      Thank you, I’ve now followed him in twitter. Interesting man and he lives in the Florida panhandle, which is close to home for me.

    • ladyblug

      He’s great!

    • Paul

      He rules. Been reading him for a while. Believe it was a link from here that got me there originally. Was it you? Thanks if yes.

      Hard to argue with the man.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Chadwells

    WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! No fucking WAY meth face gets off that fucking easily!!!!

    “Spicer: Conway ‘has been counseled’ after plugging Ivanka Trump’s brand”

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/318761-white-house-conway-has-been-counseled-after-plugging-ivanka-trumps

    • PubOption

      She has now been warned. Repubs will be able to take action in the future.

      • Chadwells

        So they are all allowed an “I didn’t know” mistake? Fuck that.

    • thewalkindude

      She was warned. It was explained to her.Nevertheless, she persisted.

      • Edith Prickly

        Pick up your internet at the front desk.

    • Thiazin Red

      Ha ha, rules don’t matter if its a republican. Clear violation of the laws aren’t like email Benghazi.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Look, they admitted that you think she did something wrong. Isn’t that enough?

    • cmd resistor

      I’m sure Trump gage her a raise or a cut of the profits.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      “She’s been counseled that the press is the enemy.”

      • Chadwells

        And then there’s this…so yeah, nothing will happen FFS:

        “Congress, GAO, the FBI, Inspectors General, and the Office of Special Counsel have the authority to conduct investigations,” the agency tweeted. “When OGE learns of possible ethics violations, OGE contacts the agency, provides guidance & asks them to notify OGE of any action taken. OGE is actively following this agency-contact process.”

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Executive order abolishing the OGE in 3, 2, 1…

    • Boscoe

      What do you mean? This is at least twice as punitive as anything I ever expected to see. I was fully expecting a “she misspoke and/or was taken out of context and didn’t actually even do an interview that day so you’re all fake news” barrage. Baby steps?

      • Chadwells

        Chaffetz and Cummings didn’t buy the “mistake” excuse….they are going to investigate her. Not that I believe anything will come of it…

  • PubOption

    From the sequence of tweets, it seems that Dolt 45 takes about 15 minutes to type 140 characters. Is he really that stupid?

    • shivaskeeper

      Is this snark?

      • Boscoe

        There really is no way to tell anymore, is there. :(

        • shivaskeeper

          If you get a down vote I fat fingered the phone screen. I think the up took and I got rid of the down.

    • OrG

      Is this a trick question?

    • Chadwells

      Yes.

    • Logic of Color

      You’d think his tiny thumbs would just fly over his phone keyboard

    • Sister the Persister

      They keep yankin’ the phone away from him. Really slows him down.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Don’t hate.
      If you had vienna sausages for fingers you’d be a slow typer too!

      • tkingt

        Also he does not have a double chin. It’s a triple chin.

        • MynameisBlarney

          He’s got so many chins, it’s like a staircase to his face.

          • arensb

            I guess “more chins than the Peking phone book” is obsolete, now that no one knows what a phone book is anymore?

      • arensb

        Is that why he won’t upgrade his phone? The new ones are all too big for his fingers?

    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

      Dolt 45, ha! Great description of Trumpy. Then I googled it and found this from a year ago. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f869f07b8ddb2ee965570ea9d85eac79d8b9f05bc00a2915e382d0119e446e6b.jpg

    • leemoder

      “Dolt 45”.

      Now THAT’S a t-shirt!

      • tkingt

        Presidunce Donnie

    • Rags

      Or yesterday’s Ivanka tweet which was during his daily Intel briefing

  • MynameisBlarney
    • The Wanderer

      Oh yeah!

      • MynameisBlarney

        “Sorry, wrong party.”

  • OneYieldRegular

    God, Trump is going to annoyed when he yells “You’re FIRED!” at ISIS and it has no apparent effect.

    • Boscoe

      They’re still building the giant, luxurious, gold-plated megaphone. It’s terrific. The best ever.

  • PsycWench

    I guess by that logic Osgiliath was overtaken by the brave riders who Demethor sent back to reclaim it?

    • Tiny kaiju

      They almost recovered the ring, so yes.

  • Edith Prickly
  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend
    • ken_kukec

      Walter didn’t watch his buddies die face-down in the muck so that this sTRUMPette, this whore, could waltz around Yemen.

  • JustDon’tSayPeriod.Period!
  • mardam422

    So when Jimmy Carter’s mission to rescue the Iranian hostages went down in flames…literally, it was a massive success!!! Oh, sorry. I forgot. IOKIYAT.

  • mardam422

    So now that’s three Senators who are supposed to shut up. Who’s gonna be the fourth?

  • ken_kukec

    That shuffle’s been going on from time immemorial: You can’t criticize the war (or the people running the war) without criticizing “the troops.”

    As if “the troops” get any say over half-baked missions.

    • Greyhame

      Yes, I remember the flag & ribbon bumper stickers, used as cudgels to silence all critics.

      • Hardly Ideal

        One of these days, I really need to make one of those that says “Exploit the Troops.”

        • tkingt

          I was drafted and sent to Vietnam. I was ruthlessly exploited. Shame on warmongers like chickenhawk Donnie.

    • Thiazin Red

      There is plenty of that in Thucydides (I’m pretty proud of myself for spelling that correctly on the first try). If you don’t support the war you’re not a patriot. All the stuff we’ll loot from Sicily will totally pay for the invasion.

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    “Undermines the Success of that rage”

    Perfect.

    I have a sneaking suspicion that they didn’t hire Palin for press secretary only because they assumed she’d quit about halfway through.

    • TakingAmes

      Instead of being unceremoniously fired, like will happen to Anger Spice?

  • Blender_415

    LOVE the “( according to General Mattis)” part. Well played, you cheeto-faced shitgibbon.

  • Sandy Beaches

    Why does Spicer always look like he’s coming off a Boehner-like crying jag?

    • Hardly Ideal

      Because his life is now hell and he fucking knows it.

      Call me crazy, but I’m suddenly reminded of an old bit from Homestuck

      Removing the lid signals the moment your life becomes a great whirling batshit pandemonium, somewhat resembling the chaos of an especially ethnic wedding. Somewhere, a soused uncle deliberately shatters china on the floor. Muddy livestock is decorated, and then lost track of. The question “Who’s mule is this?” at times can be heard over the din. This is now your reality.

    • Boscoe

      I dunno, to me he always looks like he’s recovering from a surprise anal-exam.

    • tkingt

      Little Sean is very upset. He wanted to be taller. He should buy elevator shoes. If he wears them daily, he may feel better about himself. And he won’t be such an egotistical dipshit.

  • JoeChristmas

    YEMENGHAZI — 2

    September 17, 2008, U.S. embassy in Sana’a, Yemen
Militants dressed as policemen attacked the embassy with RPGs, rifles, grenades and car bombs. Six Yemeni soldiers and seven civilians were killed. Sixteen more were injured.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      That was Obama’s fault.

      • Boscoe

        I hear he also personally stamped the visas of the guys who bombed the WTC in 1993…

  • Roadstergal

    “We’re pretty sure nobody really owes Chief Owens a disservice, but Sean Spicer certainly gave him one anyway.”

    You make the shitty, sloppy language that characterizes this entire administration just a little easier to bear.

    • Keith Taylor

      Yes.

  • Shibusa

    Can we assume that Trey Gowdy has already started what will be a years-long investigation into Trump’s botched operation that resulted in the death of one commando, the woundings of 3 other commandos, the deaths of 25 assorted civilians including a very pregnant woman, 9 children under the age of 13, one of whom was an 8 year old American girl…oh, and the loss of the $75 million aircraft?

    • Roadstergal

      Depends. Can he blame it on Hillary?

      • Jukesgrrl

        The military began planning the operation before January 20. So, abracadabra, they can blame it on Obama! (And they are, no kidding.)

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    So now we’re back to “Criticizing the administration =Not supporting the troops”. Heck, in Wingnut World, It might even be treason. I’m getting whiplash.

  • Querolous

    “Spicer played the Last Refuge of a Scoundrel Card:” I have always thought that this quote attributed to Samuel Johnson should have been “The First Refuge of a Scoundrel.”

    • Bitter Scribe

      You and Ambrose Bierce.

      • Querolous

        Somehow I missed out on Mr. Bierce. Looks like I get to do some good reading.

        • Keith Taylor

          I think you do. Check out Bierce’s THE DEVIL’S DICTIONARY. Herewith two of his definitions.
          “Politics, n.pl. A means of livelihood affected by the more degraded portion of our criminal classes. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.”
          “Destiny, n. A tyrant’s authority for crime and a fool’s excuse for failure.”

    • Keith Taylor

      On the right track. I always thought it should have been, “A phoney, pretended patriotism is very often the first refuge of a scoundrel.” Which is just splitting hairs. We’re agreed, I think, that Spicer is a scoundrel in the employ of a scoundrel, taking any refuge that occurs to him.

  • Stulexington

    mmm no, trying to glorify the botched Yemen attack means you piss on dead troops.

    • Keith Taylor

      And piss on the ones who are going to die — maybe a lot more of them — in the next misbegotten foray you devise, Mr. President. (Which you became after what you said yourself was a rigged election.) All you care about is your infantile ego and the brag you made that you would “crush ISIS”. The day you realize you were never equal even to attempting that may be the day you have a breakdown. I hope it comes before too many more brave people die.

  • CATMAN

    I am waiting for the day–which may never come–when Spicer’s conscience kicks in and he screams “Fuck it, I just can’t do this anymore” and walks away. Unlike Kellyanne, I don’t think he’s a sociopath and has some humanity left in him, however well hidden

    • Bitter Scribe

      [assumes facts not in evidence]

    • Alan

      Alternative fact?

  • chiefkurtz

    I’ll be we could have bought the information from them for half of the $70 million it will cost to replace the helicopter they had to blow up.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Spicer’s rant was just “Support Our Troops” boiled down to its essence.

    • phoenix00

      and with less dimensions than a yellow ribbon bumper magnet.

    • just_jim

      Support our troops with a side of “and an incompetent CinC who sends them to their deaths”

      Fuck that.

  • cats530

    I’m getting really tired of Spicer’s ranting angry authoritarian edicts. Is he so delusional as to believe he’s the Dictator in Chief? He’s one upping The Donald and The Donald is not to be upstaged. Hope Twitter Tantrum puts him in his place….”You’re FIRED!”

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I think he works himself into a rage because how else could you stand up there and lie like that? By other accounts, he’s not a total sociopath- just a sellout.

  • Lefty Wright

    Owens may be a hero but he is also a sacrifice at the altar of an incompetent, manipulated, ego driven commander in chief. I bet if Owens could get a do over, he would suggest a lot better planning. Then he would likely be sitting around having a beer with friends right now. I just wonder when Trey Gowdy will be starting an investigation into this muddled fiasco.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      As always, Jim Wright nails it
      http://www.stonekettle.com/

    • tkingt

      When I went to Vietnam (drafted), incompetent officers were sometimes fragged. In doing so, lives were saved. Sadly Donnie does not understand the concept of sacrifice. Mr. Owens death is a reminder that Donnie cares only about his diseased ego.

  • Nodrama4mama

    Is it too much to hope that McCain will actually spite vote against everything Trump wants for the next 3+ years.

    • Roadstergal

      Yes.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    How long till we find out that the entire hard drive contents are copies of Hillary’s Emails!? BING BONG BENGHAZIIIIII!!

    About as long as it takes for Military Investigators (#SpicerFacts interns) to finish decrypting (#SpicerFacts copying) them?

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Currently-alive troops should be paying very close attention. You now might become “successful mission” “success stories” earning your own “single occupant relaxation space” complete with a “personalized inscribed granite success plaque” (#SpicerFacts) because the CIC Clown Cabinet obviously won’t learn any of the right lessons from their mistakes, and bother to demand more rigorous planning for the next success-bound mission.

    • Like they ever gave fuck all about the cannon fodder. Rather surprised Spicer got his name right.

    • SatanicVagendaRebellion

      I laughed at “personalized inscribed granite success plaque”…
      Now I feel bad :(

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    What do Pickett’s Charge and this recent raid in Yemen have in common?

    Answer: they are both failures and they both inflicted unnecessary casualties.

    The casualties we mourn because they couldn’t avoid it. The commanders of the mission get our calumney because they fucked up. There is a difference.

    • Keith Taylor

      Yes there is. And Donald Trump should not get away with denying the mission was an ill-considered fuckup. Going off half-cocked, doing and saying ill-considered things, is Trump’s characteristic behaviour. There’s nothing implausible in the likelihood that this was another example. As I understand it, Barack Obama was pondering that very mission for some time, but wouldn’t sanction it because he thought the intelligence (in a military sense) wasn’t adequate and the outcome too iffy. Donald Trump considered it (using the word loosely) snorted at such pusillanimous caution, and said, “Hell, go ahead.”
      I know that often there are gruesome military screw-ups that aren’t the fault of the people involved or even the people who gave the orders. I know that often, situations which you’d think would lead to stupid disaster end in success by sheer luck, or because the enemy get stupid too and don’t take advantage when they should, or just chicken out.
      Not this time. It appears that this was one of the situations in which a dumbass order from a dumbass commander-in-chief led to exactly the result you might expect. Even Donald Trump should have remembered the acronym “snafu” — Situation Normal, All Fucked Up — originated with the military.

    • wapitiscat

      In addition to the on point analysis and excellent dick jokes, I love this site because it makes me go look up words like calumny. It’s better than those stupid word-a-day calendars.

  • TootsStansbury

    So they stopped blaming it on Obama then. Progress!

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Why did Obama kill Chief Ryan Owens? How long before Republicans announce an investigation to determine why Hillary Clinton ordered the military to stand down while Chief Owens was being murdered by Hillary’s emails?

  • HazooToo

    I’m glad you’re feeling almost betterish. I can’t even begin to unpack the article right now, but at least you will survive.

  • David Clark

    Can’t seem to find a logical place to plunk this down, so here will have tom

    • It is kinda funny how it always gets back to that when one of their guys is in charge huh?
      Probably because libtards are all…dude, we are not fascists.

    • Alan

      My reply usually is that, “statistically speaking, there’s a real good chance that this country has been mine longer than it’s been yours and this isn’t the country that I grew up in so maybe you should leave and take all the other dumbfucks who screwed it up with you”.

    • SeeTrain65

      Trump just signed another EO after watching an old Duck Dynasty episode.

      By executive order, the phrase has been dumbed down to “Y’all don’t like it, y’all can git the fuck out!”

  • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

    Oh Sean, tick tick tick. Your cockwomble lizardbrain of a boss will have fit of pique and you will be reduced to being part of his travelling cheering section.

  • I’m sure someone else pointed this out by now, but wasn’t John McCain CAPTURED? Doesn’t that mean his mission failed? He didn’t escape, which was his duty as a POW, so didn’t he fail at being a POW, too? I mean come on! We’re going to take criticism from a loser like McCain — how many times did he run for president and LOSE — when we have a clear WINNER like the Ol’ Pussy Grabber — hey, he grabs pussy whenever he wants, now THAT’S winning — running the show now?

  • Keith Taylor

    Doktor Zoom, I applaud the above and am glad you mentioned the Charge of the Light Brigade. Because I think there are a couple of things about that mess which are more than just a bit relevant to the Yemen debacle. (Seems at this distance as though debacle isn’t too strong a word.) When the charge was over and questions were asked, by the time the various commanders and other prats involved (Raglan, Lucan, Airey, Cardigan) were through buck passing and obfuscating, no one could figure out who gave the original order, or even what the order had specifically been. Wait for it to happen in this connection.
    Then there was the shameful treatment of the survivors. Rudyard Kipling, not exactly a liberal, opened his poem on the subject with the trenchant lines,
    “There were thirty million English who talked of England’s might.
    There were twenty broken troopers who lacked a bed for the night.”
    Let’s see how generous Trump is with veterans’ pensions and medical support.

  • wait! what?

    Winning through death; or, earning “success credits” by dying. A military strategy that doubles as a national health care plan.

  • Kitty Smith

    Sooooo basically the operation was a success because an American died.

    Good to know!

  • ez

    You may agree 100%, you may disagree 100%, you may fall somewhere in between but a solid read http://www.stonekettle.com/2017/02/into-valley-of-death-again.html

  • Snark Tank, Bad Hombre

    It’s time for McCain, Graham, Collins and Murkowski (along with any other sane Republicans) to declare themselves Independent and caucus with the Democrats (a la Joe Lieberman).

  • TundraGrifter

    OK- What about the Regressives who threw all that shade on Sec. Clinton and President Obama about #BENGHAZI !!!!!

  • Tina in Spokane WA

    Ryan is a hero because he died. If he had been captured, he wouldn’t be a hero. Trump likes people who aren’t captured. Trump wouldn’t even want to rescue him because Ryan’s probably a traitor for getting captured.

  • Panika MCD

    first of all, who has Dok been frenching in the TX Senate? because about half of them have come down with the death flu (though most of us thought it was just Austin allergies at first because: the natives used to call this place “bad air” and only used it as a battle field).

    exhibit a, Sen. Seliger day 2 of Sen Fi:
    “I have a lot of issues I want to touch on here–which is normally what happens when you take a ton of Sudafed.”

    exhibit b. the next day:
    Kolkhorst: sorry, I have to take some medicine.
    Nichols: well, if Sen. Schwernter (R – real life doctor person) is passing out the meds–count me in!

    exhibit c. Tuesday during the SB4 (sanctuary cities ban) debate:
    Sen. Rodriguez was so sick he could not stand up and got special permission to speak from his seat (likely because Lt. Gov. Goebtrotter will be able to later say he did that one nice thing for a Hispanic by letting him sit in a chair when he was dying) and later in the day, Sen. Garcia had to lay out his amendments because he had to go get an MRI.

    in short: Dok, quit making out with the TX Senate.

  • Panika MCD

    so Trump has been emboldening our enemies ever since he decided to talk to Howard Stern? because he talked a lot of shit about our generals and military missions last year. shall we cue the tapes? maybe he’s also too responsible for emboldening the terrorists what attacked Benghazi! thanks, Spice Spice Baby. I’ll get right on telling Jason Chaffitz to investigate your boss for emails and Benghazi and other such things.

    and adding that we’re in conflicts all over the world? yeah, maybe don’t reference the secret military operations on the tweeters. it only emboldens the enemy. see what I did there, Tsarina Think Skin?

    finally, when you are playing with the biscuit and threatening to nuke General Mattis’ office, he’ll probably tell you whatever you want about how SUPERBalicious your little raid went.

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