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You people weren’t too attached to voting, were you?

Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, who was too racist to be confirmed as a federal judge by politically correct Senate Republicans back in 1986, has finally achieved his dream of really being in a position to turn back the clock on civil and voting rights after being confirmed as Attorney General by the Senate on an almost party-line vote of 52-47 Wednesday. He was just racist enough to win the nod from all the Senate’s Republicans plus one Democrat, Joe Manchin, if he even counts anymore. (Sessions himself, ever the Southern gentleman, voted “present.”)

Before the voting got underway, Democrats took to the floor of the Senate to let Mitch McConnell know exactly what they thought of his silencing Elizabeth Warren Tuesday for having the temerity to criticize a fellow Senator with the words of Coretta Scott King. A string of Senate Dems criticized McConnell for selectively enforcing a little-used Senate rule against ever saying anything bad about other senators, especially if Democrats object to an old bigot like Sessions. Several focused on McConnell’s “explanation” of why he had to quiet the uppity lady: “She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted.” As the Washington Post notes, McConnell’s comment wasn’t without its up side:

Outside the Senate, liberals gleefully thanked McConnell for elevating Warren, one of the Democratic Party’s biggest stars, and handing her a slogan for a potential 2020 presidential bid.

Not to mention a snazzy Wonkette t-shirt design. But inside the Senate, Dems were careful not to be too grateful to McConnell for putting his foot in his beaked mouth, calling for McConnell to apologize and expressing outrage that he’d invoke a Senate rule to quiet criticism of a cabinet nominee who happened to also be a senator. Just to make sure the record included Coretta Scott King’s argument against Sessions, several Democrats read excerpts from her 1986 letter against his judicial nomination, which magically was not a violation of the rules when read by boys. Somehow, Sessions survived the brutal historical dressing-down, in which King said “Mr. Sessions has used the awesome power of his office in a shabby attempt to intimidate and frighten elderly black voters” and warned that a federal judgeship would allow Sessions to pursue “with a federal prosecution what the local sheriffs accomplished twenty years ago with clubs and cattle prods.”

Given all the Republican outcry over Terrible Elizabeth Warren quoting Terrible Coretta Scott King, you’d almost think Warren or King had been the controversial nominee, rather than the sad little Elmer Fudd-looking dork who said the Supreme Court’s gutting of the Voting Rights Act was “good news for the South” and insisted, “If you go to Alabama, Georgia, North Carolina, people aren’t being denied the vote because of the color of their skin.” He simply doesn’t think there’s a problem, because for heaven’s sake, Republicans do keep getting elected, now don’t they? Sessions has never shown any inclination toward protecting voting rights, except of course for fluffing his resume by claiming to have been more involved in civil rights cases than he actually had been. So at least he’s vaguely aware that trying not to look too racist is important, or at least was before the Trump Era. Once he’s sworn in, for all we know, he may add Pepe the Frog to the official seal of the Civil Rights Division.

Anyway, Sessions won, Warren is now the frontrunner for 2020, and Mitch McConnell wants everyone to know that with this extremely narrow confirmation of Jeff Sessions, and Tuesday’s sad spectacle of allowing Betsy DeVos to become Secretary of Dismantling the Department of Education, the Senate has now “come together” and overcome all that nasty partisanship, and now it’s time to stop all the divisiveness and vitriol that has been such a problem since that Kenyan fellow was president, the end.

[WaPo / The Nation]

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  • Oblios_Cap

    Now the grifting can begin in earnest.

    • schmannity

      Who’s Earnest and how much does he want?

      • Oblios_Cap

        Ask Vern.

  • Chadwells
  • MynameisBlarney

    Jesus fucking christ.

    Assholes.
    Goddamn motherfucking racist assholes.

  • calliecallie

    Hey, Dok’s back! Hope you’re feeling better.

  • msanthropesmr

    How long till we return to Plessy v Fergeson?

    • memzilla Ω

      Do you think it’ll be before or after they relitigate Dred Scott v. Sandford?

      • mancityRed6

        Brown v. Board of Education will be first

        • Randy Riddle

          I’ve been saying that all along. It will just take a couple of SCOTUS appointments to overturn it. Thomas has railed against Brown v Board for years.

          • theblackdog

            He really is the product of the “I got mine so fuck you” attitude, isn’t he

          • Historicat

            In that case, we’ll have to revisit Loving v. Virginia first. Then we can toss Clarence in the slammer for violating miscegenation laws.

    • Infrequentcontributor

      Roe v. Wade
      Brown v. Board
      Plessy
      Then Dred Scott

  • msanthropesmr

    It’s a new morning in America folks!*

    *Not for you funny looking foreigns and blacks. For you, it’s sunset.

    • o’look Skwerl!

      As in a “sunset town”.

    • Creepoman

      It’s always darkest before it goes pitch black.

      • msanthropesmr

        Or you see the oncoming train.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    If you go to Alabama, Georgia, North Carolina, people aren’t being denied the vote because of the color of their skin.

    No, they just have fewer places to get ID, cops demanding IDs, or legislators targeting their right to vote FFS…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bdcaefbc9e64f5329bcaa6fefc5979fdbb70ba73db3ceb5a01e48374667f28d5.jpg

    • msanthropesmr

      I wouldn’t think I’d need to explain de jure v de facto to a lawyer person.

      • magyar of infinite power

        You’re so cute when you pretend they care about minutia like that

    • lroom

      They closed 37 DMVs across the state of Alabama last year while requiring picture IDs to vote. 37!

  • memzilla Ω
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I knew “Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy” was the theme song of this White House, but Jesus…

    • mPEEg

      Impudent strumpet, as with the rest of her ilk, refuses to bear in mind the whole world is watching~

    • wide_stance_hubby

      What did she say, I only heard what was in her heart?

    • dslindc
      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        Thank god we didn’t elect the woman who raised money for AIDS medicine during her time as a private citizen!

        • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

          god? I think not! Thank Satan. NO WAIT! Even Little Donnie is beneath his dignity. Thank Vladimir.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      “Lock her up!”

    • o’look Skwerl!

      She misspoke, she meant to say, “Go bye your Wonkette’s stuff”.

    • schmannity

      And book a room tomorrow in a Trump Hotel!

    • Creepoman

      Whenever someone bitches that boycotts don’t work, remember that these fuckers refuse to divest from any of their brands so it’s become our duty to divest ourselves from them.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      “It’s a wonderful line, I own some of it,” she said. “I’m going to give it a free commercial here, go buy it today!”

      Aren’t you supposed to mention that those were freebies you were given in exchange for promoting Ivanka’s sweatshop made range.

    • chortlingdingo

      Anyone who dresses like this shouldn’t be trusted with fashion advice.

      http://hbz.h-cdn.co/assets/17/03/980×490/landscape-1484925844-hbz-kellyanne-conway-gucci.jpg

    • Shibusa

      So Kellyanne is Kevin Trudeau in drag.

  • msanthropesmr

    ACLU Kenobe save us. You’re our only hope!

  • calliecallie

    “She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted.”
    I love this so much, on so many levels. Besides the very obvious gift he gave her with his choice of words:
    – Passive voice, until the only active voice, which is “she persisted.” Warren is the active one, the rest of them are just lumps on a log.
    – If you substitute “but” for “nevertheless,” it is a haiku.
    – She was given an explanation, is that like a mansplanation?’
    – Someone on twitter suggested this describes the history of feminism in 11 words.

    Really, this just cries out for pussy hats all around, doesn’t it?

    • Amy!

      QFT:

      this describes the history of feminism in 11 words

      and

      “She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted.”

      The two need to go together on a tee shirt (too long for a hat).

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        That hat can be MAKE AMERICA GOOD AGAIN

    • anon_the_great

      I believe the proper honorific is Senator, as in “The Senator was warned. The Senator was given an explanation. Nevertheless, the Senator persisted.”

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    Keebler elf-looking racist motherfucker.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    Guesses as to whether he will go after states with legal weed? Beauregard hates him some jazz cabbage.

    • beingreleased

      But Confederates believe in States’ Rights. I mean, the Civil War was fought over States’ Rights.

      • o’look Skwerl!

        That’s right it had noting to do with race-based slavery.

      • jodyleek

        Oh, they love state’s rights except when they don’t, e.g. Roe v Wade, etc.

        • nightmoth

          That’s what gets me, too. Apparently the big bad guvmint has a right to control our bodies, especially the naughty bits.

      • Amy!

        Right! The Confederates just hated the Fugitive Slave Law!

      • nightmoth

        Yep. As I once told a Sons of Confederate Veterans bore—the state’s right to own slaves!

    • theblackdog

      Oh he will, and I was giggling last night as I watched a guy I know go off about the folks who registered protest votes because they thought they were safe, but now will probably lose their legal weed.

      • Shan McStroppy Pants(less)

        Protest votes aren’t registered anywhere but in the minds and social circles of the voters. Or the protest non-voters who have to go around telling everyone why.

        As my cousin says frequently: “Nice voting, assholes!”

        • theblackdog

          Your cousin rocks, and I figure I get every right to say “Dammit, I tried!” because I did register an actual vote for Hillary (unless it was somehow changed by the optical scanner).

        • cmd resistor

          I read the other day that there were 160,000 of them in Florida.

          • Shan McStroppy Pants(less)

            FAKE NEWS! Sad!

          • cmd resistor

            My brother voted for a Bible verse.

    • msanthropesmr

      I hope he does. It’s gonna set up one hell of a fight. You will pry marijuana out of Colorado’s cold dead hands.

  • We have Bannon to thank for the AG as Sessions has been Bannon’s guy all along.

    trump just did what he was told by nominating him.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trumps-hard-line-actions-have-an-intellectual-godfather-jeff-sessions/2017/01/30/ac393f66-e4d4-11e6-ba11-63c4b4fb5a63_story.html?utm_term=.fc431890b39e

    • Celtic_Gnome

      So, I need to send a postcard to President Bannon expressing my disappointment in this appointment?

  • onedollarjuana

    To be honest, I don’t think he’ll do much less than Alberto Gonzales. Or more.

    • theblackdog

      Wasn’t Gonzalez the one who wrote the secret memos saying “enhanced interrogation” was perfectly okay for Bush and crew to do to Iraqis and other non-white terrorists?

      • beingreleased

        Gonzalez’s biggest problem was that he never grasped the fact that the Attorney General isn’t the President’s personal lawyer.

      • onedollarjuana

        That was John Yoo, Deputy Assistant AG. He’s still not in prison.

  • MeerkatsRMammals

    This douche was TOO RACIST for his own cronies in 1986? Fast forward to the 21st century when the new GOP chooses to overlook their beloved Reagan-era to once again put party over country. Sad!

    • magyar of infinite power

      But when you mention shit like this as evidence of the rightward lurch by the R party they bring up the KKK, Byrd and MLK.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        These are the same people who tell black people to get over slavery, yes?

        • cmd resistor

          Or they talk about how this one black guy had slaves.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Speaking of the KKK, I understand that David Duke is absolutely ecstatic over Sessions’ appointment.

  • Hutch

    I remember 1959. I was in an all-white kindergarten, we had an old Plymouth that blew black smoke from the muffler in abundance, you could buy all the unlabled processed food you could afford, and we said prayers in public school.

    Um, no. I don’t want to go back to that.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      In the 1980s, we occasionally still had religious (CHRISTIAN-only, of course) message speakers in public school in Nashville, TN. They gave us the option to go to study hall instead, because it was better to allow kids to be seen as atheists, or at least agnostics, then to keep religion out of public schools. I didn’t care and chose study hall. It was in the library. Books and finishing your homework early were totally preferable.

      • Amy!

        Progress. Of a sort. In the seventies and in East Tennessee, the “motivational speakers” were required attendance. They were always given their titles of respect (never PhD or MD or JD, but always “doctor” because DT (which didn’t have anything to do with bad hair or jaundiced skin at the time), usually more openly “reverend” or “pastor”).

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          Yeah. “Motivational speakers” was still the code for “religious-message speakers” in the early 1980s. Not a clue what honorific they used in the introductions since I was blissfully reading a book elsewhere, but it wouldn’t surprise me if they were doing the same thing even then.

        • cmd resistor

          Ha, the only motivational speaker I remember in Florida (mid-70’s) was a state prisoner doing a kind of “scared straight” talk in our American History class.

    • arglebargle

      I remember picking at the asbestos heating pipe insulation while sitting at my school desk. Good times.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        That’s bound to catch up to us one day. Sigh.

      • janecita

        That’s terrible!

        • arglebargle

          What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Until it eventually kills you.

          • janecita

            Us Gen Xers were quite cuddled compared to your generation. I can’t believe that people look back with nostalgia to those years, unbelievable!

    • JohnBull

      Teachers were probably better paid, though.

      • Hutch

        And 77 Sunset Strip was in its first run!

      • Shan McStroppy Pants(less)

        Most of them were men.

        • Yr. Gma

          In 1959? No. Women. They were cheaper to get.

          • Shan McStroppy Pants(less)

            I looked it up. It was only about 20% women in the 50s. I don’t have the link still, though

            And I don’t remember if it was specifically elementary or HS. That might have made a difference.

            Besides, why would they hire women then? They just end up getting married and going off to have babies. My XMIL (not a teacher) was let go from her job as a matter of company policy when she got married in the early 1960s.

          • Yr. Gma

            College professors were men. Elementary school teachers were women. Ask any of our Oldz here and they will probably be able to tell you that the men teaching in their schools were rare as hen’s teeth. (Rooster’s teeth?)

          • Shan McStroppy Pants(less)

            Yeah. I know it was mainly women when I was in school in the 70s. I just blamed that on the feminazis. (jk)

          • Yr. Gma

            Women have traditionally been the educators in American elementary schools. There were teaching colleges set up all over the country in the 19th century (Normal Schools) designed to train the teachers needed for all the rural area of the country. (Remember “Little House on the Prairie”?) Because it was a given that a woman who married would stop teaching, it was necessary to keep the pipeline of school marms flowing. Single women could be paid much less than married men would require (because they had families to raise and because penis.) It took only two years to get a girl through the Normal school and out in the classroom, so speed and thrift were both important. Educating an expanding country with thousands of country schools was a huge undertaking. Our universal education used to be a source of pride in the United States.

          • Shan McStroppy Pants(less)

            Fascinating! Thank you!

          • Yr. Gma

            Hey, you can take the teacher out of the classroom, etc. etc.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            All my teachers in elementary school were female. Of course, it was a Catholic school. Teaching little kids was definitely considered nuns’ work. I guess they figured professional virgins would instinctively know how to deal with little kids.

          • Shan McStroppyPants(less)

            There’s a gadget in the uterus right there next to the tracking device that always knows where that thing you lost is.

    • therblig

      seat belts? what if your car caught on fire and you couldn’t get out? ridiculous idea.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Dok is back. For a while I thought he was “invited” to an interview at the Ministry of Truth.

  • Rick Hill

    I gotta say, can we work on finding ways to shortcircuit the right’s attacks? I mentioned how, a year and a half ago we had the uptick in mra style condemnations of feminism in order to prepare the way for Hillary’s run. Right now there are still people going on about Warren’s alleged minority status. A guy I know who is fairly non political went off on what a btch she is for calling ehrself an indian to get a cush spot and paid for doing nothing. Snopes filled me in but this is the kind of thing they use to destroy a candidate. Turns out the original allegation stems from her being listed in bold face on a ledger which indicates a minority and nothing else.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Welcome to the Rush-Fox-Infowars post-factual era.

    • Edith Prickly

      Try playing dumb. Say “what the fuck are you talking about?” and make them explain. Back them into a corner: “Where did you hear that? I don’t think that’s how it works. That doesn’t make sense.” If they haven’t given up by then, end the conversation by saying something like, “Fine, you believe that if you want. I’m not convinced.” You’re probably not going to talk them out of it, but you can still make them feel stupid for believing it.

      • Rick Hill

        No, not my own dealings. I’m talking about the national conversation. We here will look at the merits of an issue and make a decision and think that that’s that. We need a better approach

  • janecita
  • DahBoner
  • dslindc

    I wonder which new turd (R-AL) will be picked to replace him in the Senate?

    *Edit: Apparently it is Luther Strange

  • Anna Rompage

    Yay, were going back to the days of having a conservative fascist AG again, just like the good old days under John Ashcroft… Except this time, instead of the AG signing ‘Let The Eagle Soar’, he’s gonna be singing ‘March On White Nationalist Christian Soldier’!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbU9BZYcg1Y

    • beingreleased

      Will Sessions be too embarrassed to stand in front of Justice’s boobies?

      • magyar of infinite power

        Trump will give all speeches facing/grabbing them.

      • CriticalDragon1177

        It will be like how they censor TV in Iran to prevent people from seeing cleavage and short skirts on women, they will just remove them. ;)

        https://twitter.com/PersianRose1/status/829522291751059457

    • fredoandme

      not gonna. nope.

      thanks, though.

  • schmannity

    I have a dream that one day down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification, that one day right down in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

    • Randy Riddle

      And gather around all the racists and kick them in the nuts. With votes.

    • Crank Tango

      Sorry, it’s just so hard to judge based on content of character, and color of skin is right out there, ya know?

    • lroom

      I have a dream that one day I’ll get to leave Alabama and never look back.

  • theblackdog

    About the only positive thing I have on this is both of my Senators voted against it. I’ll be calling their offices later to thank them and to plead that they do anything they can to keep him in check and not take away our civil rights.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Same here. And good on you for contacting them to thank them. Too many of us only call/write when something is going wrong.

      • Alternative Pony Ron

        When I wrote the PMO last week, I made sure I said Genuine Nice Things as well as voicing my concerns. Politeness does count.

        • cmd resistor

          I do try to thank Marco when he does something right. So far I haven’t had to do it. Oh, I thanked him for saying he had concerns about Tillerson, but then I guess those concerns went away.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    These days we’re all paranoid conspiracy theorists, so I’ll just draw your attention to the color scheme of his tie…

    • janecita

      OMG, it’s the Russian flag!

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        Jesus. How could I have missed that? Subtle, scary and funny (in a sort of gallows humor way) all rolled into one.

  • Randy Riddle

    Will the sexually provocative justice statues have their breasts draped again?
    http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/nation/2002/01/29/statues.htm

  • ariel_gee_398

    I look forward to his full-throated defense of the rights of religious healthcare and social services organizations to provide taxpayer-funded services in a discriminatory manner because god told them to.

  • CriticalDragon1177

    This is bad news. The only real bright side to this, is that Sessions won’t be attorney general once Trump is out of the White House. Unfortunately that won’t be at least until 2020.

  • Ilgattomorte

    My God, but that man really does look like the bastard love child of Don Knotts and Henry Gibson.

    • Just without the intelligence and humor…

  • magyar of infinite power

    We can look forward to efforts to overturn every decision with ALCU, CREW and FFRF as plaintiff or Friend of the Court.

  • Crank Tango

    I’m putting all my money in firehoses and german shepherds.

    Whatever isn’t already in hobo beans and whore diamonds, that is.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      I put all my money on Nordstrom’s. Based on Trumpkin’s boycott results so far, I’m a-gonna be a billionaire. Then I’ll want a yooge tax cut, BTW.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Hey, you buy enough Senators maybe you can be Secretary of Agriculture!

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    This nomination is just Waco.

    • JohnBull

      Maybe these nomination fights will end the same way as Waco ended.

      • Amy!

        Dead children?

  • MynameisBlarney

    This is SOOO not like trump!

    Making stuff up? Say it ain’t so!

    http://www.democraticunderground.com/10028618851

    • The Librarian

      Another shitcake of hooey. If Trump really had someone to throw under the bus, he’d name them.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    I take it that sovereign citizens, militias and other assorted “lone wolf” whackaloons will be given lower priority vs. the “true” enemies of the state: minority voter outreach groups, women’s organizations, and anti-war groups.

    • ariel_gee_398

      It would hardly do to bother with sovereign citizens, since Donnie is encouraging them by questioning the authority and independence of the judiciary. Defeats the whole purpose of his temper tantrum.

    • TJ Barke

      And muslim grandmas.

      • RumAddled

        Don’t forget the children!

    • Bebecca

      and the war on Christmas becomes priority number one. He will help Trump make everyone say merry Christmas.

  • LarryHoudini

    The good news about Pepe the Frog is that whenever he’s mentioned now, I reflexively imagine a neo Nazi getting smashed in the face.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      I automatically pronounce it “Pee Pee” in my head whenever I see it now.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    With Sessions as AG, The Blacks are officially on notice.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    Do you think he wants a program where white wives in white heterosexual Christian marriages get a special pin for the amount of babies they birth?

  • janecita

    OT, I just want to brag about making Ebelskivers for the first time, and actually making them right!
    Ps. I hate snow days!!

    • The Librarian

      Oooo, the spawn and I love those.

      • janecita

        I stuffed them with raspberry jelly, they were great!

    • arglebargle

      I had to do the google. Me want.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Worst part about getting old: no snow days. My effing employer even requires us to bring our company-issued laptops home every night, just in case. Super fun when you walk to work.

    • Bemused

      Send them out to shovel?

      Snow days are the only thing I miss about living on the plains.

      • janecita

        They are sliding, while their father is snowblowing the driveway. I’m mentally supervising, while drinking tea by the fireplace.

        • Bemused

          That sounds like a good plan to me!

    • Persistent Demme

      Congrats!

      I had crazy relatives that used to call them EbelskWivers.
      They thought, (unfairly), that we were foreigner-loving snobs, (as in: “We don’t need to travel! Hearst Castle is all the castle we need!”),
      We never corrected them, even though we lived in Denmark.

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend
    • gene108

      Mitch is a soulless piece of shit. He wants to be Senate Majority Leader. If Trump murdering someone on Fifth Ave helps him stay Senate Majority leader, he’d lend a hand. The man has no moral compass.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        If he can’t be voted out of office, the next best thing would be an office in the basement, and a spot on the back bench.

    • CriticalDragon1177

      The Democratic Underground seems to have forgotten about his clearly unconstitutional “Muslim ban.”

      • BrianW

        In fairness to DU, if they put everything on the meme, the font would be WAY too small to read. I will agree with you that is an important one.

    • Ricky Gay

      plus they stock crickets at the hardware store again.

    • The Librarian

      Happy, maybe. I think he just doesn’t give a shit since the Goops are in power. “Whatever it takes” thinks he….

    • mailman27

      McConnell is beneath contempt. If I believed in Jesus and Heaven and Hell, I’d predict a rough ride for that prick.

  • CriticalDragon1177

    On the bright side, other things keep happening that show that we’re making progress towards racial equality in America in other ways. Here’s something that’s bound to tick off the “alt right” racists. Off course many of them have little respect for the law anyway.

    https://twitter.com/TheRoot/status/829486893805006849

    • arglebargle

      She looks “Kenyan”.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        An affirmative action choice for sure. We demand to see her transcripts!
        Seriously, congratulations Ms Umana.

      • Persistent Demme

        Or “urban.”

  • Dog Gone

    I could be mistaken, but I do declare, I am terribly fearful that poor Mr. Turtleman is in for some further rude surprises from those damn yankees, damn carpet baggers and damn liberals.

    And damn if all to hell, I intend to do my best to resist that nasty Turtleman, and his president Rump Turnip-top Pussy Groper in Chief.

    • lroom

      Well my stars and garters! * faints*

  • shaar dula

    fuckit imma spam every thread with this.

    hil.ari.ous.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pbTmXsfiYk
    hahahahahaha. Michael Forbes & his mum 2020!!

    • chortlingdingo

      The Scottish have the most delightful vocabulary.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I like the guy who offered to by a piece of the property so they’d have to come to Antarctica to sign paperwork.

        That’s just a great fuck you to Donnie.

  • ImGoingBacon

    I nominate Martin Freeman to play Sessions in the inevitable movie to be made about this Administration.

    • ariel_gee_398

      In the meantime, maybe Maya Rudolph could play him on SNL. I’m sure Donnie will LOVE seeing his AG played by a woman of color.

    • Me not sure
      • ImGoingBacon

        “excuse me, are you familiar with the term ‘gay for pay?'”

        • major_asshole

          I’m watching that season with my boyfriend, and when he did that, I about pissed my pants. We had to keep it on pause for a good ten minutes because I could not breathe from laughing my ass off.

    • Heyzeus Ahchay

      I nominate Strother Martin (R.I.P.)

  • OT: but Jesus Christ Economist. I have a hangover and it may be late afternoon in London but in Chicago I’m barely keeping down breakfast.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ea9ea839e3756a482027da7510734ac96f509040a7cc23e05ef8e2bc26db0215.jpg

    • Ew.

    • janecita

      I don’t know about you, but I wanna know more about “China’s transgender Oprah!”

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Whatever the details, it’s not over ’til the big lady sings…

    • Shibusa

      I’d hate to think of where else that lipstick landed.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        Taint good to think about that.

    • C4TWOMAN

      But brilliant pic!
      *r-click, save img as*

    • Persistent Demme

      Stunning pic!
      (But I may never use lipstick again.)

  • Shibusa

    99% of the people who voted for Trump don’t shop at Nordstrom’s, Kellyanne.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      They don’t sell camo or Levi’s in a 48″ waist at Nordstrom’s.

    • Mike Steele

      Not quite accurate in our zip code, where most of this middle-class, fashion-conscious 35-75 y.o. demographic were all in for Cheeto.

    • clubseal

      Time for an Ivanka line at Big Lots! I guess.

  • Me not sure
    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      FAAAAAABULOUS!

    • C4TWOMAN

      If you can’t baffle them with bullshit, blind them with glitter.

      • LucindathePook

        Razzle-dazzle ’em.

      • Historicat

        Getting that stuff in your eye is no joke!

  • Shibusa
    • Crank Tango

      Needz moar sorez.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        Are you sure? I actually think Bannon perhaps has too many sores already.

        I mean, his body appears to made entirely of butthurt rage-scabs!

        But you know, maybe you’re right. Maybe he could use a distraction. Perhaps those weeping wounds like Kellyaxe Con-way talked about could take his mind off his super-villain drive to make us all pay. You have convinced me!

        • Crank Tango

          Let the eeeeeeeeevil soooooore…..

    • Bebecca

      too well-kept

    • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

      Needz moar cirrhosis.

    • Persistent Demme

      Needs more gin blossoms.

  • geoffalnutt

    Everybody to the back of the bus…except stupid white guys!

  • Crystalclear12

    Warren/ Hillary- Hillary could be Warren’s Biden, you know, a nonradical to make establishment feel more secure.

  • C4TWOMAN

    “Sessions himself, ever the Southern gentleman
    Anyone else have the experience of “southern gentleman” describing passive-aggressive, neurotic, manipulative “nice guys”? And that includes the lefty/liberal variation of the species…

    • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

      Absolutely.

    • Persistent Demme

      Not to mention how they treat their “hot house flowers,” (otherwise known as women).

  • BadKitty904

    I’m guessing it’s Bad Form to draw (further) attention to SeSessions’ freekish ears?

    • lowenufc

      I am concerned that he is not wearing the requisite number of flair on his lapel.

      • BadKitty904

        HERETIC!!! PERSECUTE HIM!!1!

    • Sister the Persister

      Perhaps, and no snark here, as a child he was boxed about the ears? they are somewhat oddly shaped. And his brain seems broke.

  • Chadwells

    Now that this Opie redneck racist mother fucker is in….here comes the fucking bullshit we were all worried about:

    “Trump: 3 executive actions coming Thursday”

    http://www.politico.com/blogs/donald-trump-administration/2017/02/trump-crime-justice-executive-actions-234847

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      to restore safety in America

      IOW, time to gut our civil rights and and go full fascist

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      “Criminal cartels” you mean like Trump’s family?

      • HazooToo

        Actually, I may be paranoid, and I hope to god I’m wrong, but many liberal organizations of protest who receive support from other countries may suddenly discover that they are under investigation as an international criminal enterprise.

  • Mike Steele

    Keebler elf, by contrast, makes Donald look even more like a beached narwhal. Hey, big shot…better ask President Bannon what’s in that shit you’re signing…

  • Swampay

    Yeah. We’re fucked.

  • azeyote

    do we have to do the 60s all over again? this time with low grade acid and really old rock & roll bands – and without Dr. King, Malcolm X, Angela Davis, Jerry Rubin, Abby Hoffman and the others – maybe women leading the way this time will put an end to yet another assault on humanity for good. – power to the people –

    • Tiny kaiju

      Sadly, we’ve got Bath Salts and Bieber.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    This is just the WORST news from the Senate since the last time I heard some news about the Senate.

    • So, the last article?

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Yep. Pretty much…not sure how long I can take it before I just have to put on my pussy hat and walk around the neighborhood. That’ll show ’em.

        • Sister the Persister

          That image leads to some interesting ideas about neighborhood walks… just chatty happy (or not) people, walking together around a neighborhood, in their hats. I for one think protest is most effective when it covers all scales, from the half-million people marches to the sticker in a window. Chatty walks would fit right in there!

          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            I’ve only done the walk once. I live in a deeply red state in a deeply red neighborhood. I was happily surprised on that one walk at the number of neighbors who were, or had recently become, Puppet Haters, and I need that kind of pleasant surprise again today. Not a huge number, mind you…AND no one fired at me, though some did aim.

          • Persistent Demme

            You are brave, brave, brave!
            I salute and admire you red state dwellers!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Give it time. I’d say about 15-20 minutes…

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    With this cabinet, we will be partying like it’s 1929

    • Sister the Persister

      or 1829

    • Mavenmaven

      we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again

      • Bitter Scribe

        No we couldn’t, but we’ve got one

  • Unhappy Fingers

    I can dream that McConnell’s ditty against Warren will be just as “effective” as Rush’s day-long put down of Sandra Fluke.

  • lroom

    What the actual fuck is wrong with Manchin?!

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      He once shot some prop papers, just to watch ’em die.

    • Mike Steele

      CEO (née Manchin) responsible for Epi-pen ripoff has case pending before DoJ. Just doting fathers looking out for their little girls, doncha know…

    • Bitter Scribe

      He’s from West Virginia.

  • Yr. Gma

    I remember 1959. That’s the year Hawaii became a state for the future president to not be born in so he wouldn’t have a long form birth certificate. Some other shit happened, too, but I think I was in the fourth grade and really wasn’t paying attention.

    • Sister the Persister

      I turned one years old in 1959! I don’t remember it so good of course, but I’m sure it was one of the most important things that happened to me.

  • Mormos

    What do you mean “you people”?

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Did they let THAT woman vote?

    Asking for Lindsey Graham.

  • Ducksworthy

    He’s like mild mannered Henry Gibson from Laff-In only with the soul of an evil 1000 year old vampire.

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