SHARE
Wouldn't a real ISIS baby have an AK?
Wouldn’t a real ISIS baby have an AK?

We bet Sean Spicer can’t hardly wait for President Trump to announce “his” choice for the Supreme Court tonight, so the media will ask a bunch of mean liberal questions about the SCOTUS pick instead of all these mean liberal questions about a bunch of dumb foreigns whose banning was supposed to make everyone happy, but hasn’t, because liberal crybabies keep going on about “fairness” and acting as if people from the Middle East have rights, even. So during his press briefing Monday — or whatever we’re calling his daily yell-at-the-media sessions — Spicer explained that instead of covering the detentions of people who had the bad taste to get caught in the air when Donald Trump signed the executive order invalidating their entry into the USA as if that were a bad thing, journalists should instead be glad that President Trump had the wisdom to keep us safe from potential terrorists who we ended up letting into the country. (Oh, right, because also they’re citizens.)

NBC’s Kristen Welker asked Spicer if it had really improved America’s security that much to keep a 5-year-old Iranian boy from being reunited with his mother for hours — pardon us, a 5-year-old AMERICAN CITIZEN, who was reportedly handcuffed — asking why exactly that was such a great idea. WJLA reports the boy was traveling with a relative and his mother was waiting for him at Dulles International airport.

Sen. Chris Van Hollen said on Facebook the boy was a U.S. citizen who lives with his family in Maryland, as if U.S. citizens had the right to go visit relatives in terrorist countries like Iran that don’t have any Trump hotels. Van Hollen noted immigration authorities had even been given advance notice of the boy’s arrival, but held him for over four hours and refused to give the senator an answer when he called later to see whether the boy had been released.

Sean Spicer — who appears not to have known the boy was a U.S. citizen; why would he need to know that? — was pretty ticked that Welker would even ask, because what exactly doesn’t Welker understand about keeping America safe from terrorism?

The president recognizes that it is his duty and obligation to keep this country safe. And by instituting a process by which we look at these countries over a 90-day period and the process by which the people can come in out of this country to ensure the safety of each and every one of us, I think, is something that makes a heck of a lot of sense.

Spicer blames “misguided media reports” for people thinking there might be anything wrong with how the travel ban was implemented over the weekend, and insisted that people need to understand it was really no big deal to detain a bunch of people with valid visas (and now, it turns out, at least one small American citizen), who were only a tiny part of the traveling public: “When you look at the 329,000 people, 109 were inconvenienced for the safety of us all.”

Then Welker asked how the detention of a five-year-old boy was necessary to keeping America safe. Welker also seemed to be unaware the boy was a citizen, but at least noticed he was five years old. Spicer explained everything turned out OK, but only because we have the good sense to treat everyone as a threat:

And they were processed through, Kristen. That’s the process. The point is you can go through and nitpick and say this individual — that’s why we slow it down. And to make sure if they are a five-year-old, then maybe that they are with their parents and they don’t pose a threat. But to assume that just because of someone’s age or gender or whatever that they don’t pose a threat is misguided and wrong.

See? That five-year-old could have been one of those notorious terrorist five-year-olds, of the sort that have not attacked America, ever. It’s very important to interrogate small children, since, as we already know, a couple years ago the Border Patrol filed paperwork saying a three-year-old admitted he’d crossed the southern border to “look for work,” so it was OK to deport him rather than treat him as an asylum-seeker. So to be completely fair and keep America safe, we need to treat kindergarten-aged kids as the ticking time bombs they may turn out to be.* We really like that borrowing of social justice phrasing — “just because of someone’s age or gender” — as if this were a job interview.

Instead of acting like there’s something outrageous about detaining little kids, we should be thanking President Trump for his wisdom in ordering the detention of all foreigns. Even the ones who are actually CITIZENS, but may have not mentioned their citizenship status, being five years old and all. We’re not sure how you do extreme vetting of a five-year-old; maybe you just have to waterboard them until they promise not to grow up to hate America.

And don’t even get Trump and Spicer started on Chuck Schumer pretending to care about a bunch of foreigns being separated from their families, because — science fact — it is unpossible for a real American to cry about foreigner children. Or should be. Maybe instead of wasting money researching “global warming,” which is fake, we should spend it on finding out what’s wrong with liberals’ brains that they think foreigns love their families like normal people?

*Also, a quick note to potential Deleted Commenters: Yes, some terrorist groups have used children as suicide bombers in the Middle East and Africa. The youngest we’ve seen reports of were twelve, and it’s definitely barbaric, especially since the children used by these groups are often mentally challenged. But those cases don’t involve international airline flights of American citizens, so please shut up.

[Mediaite / RawStory / Inquisitr / Chris Van Hollen on Facebook / WJLA / HuffPo / CNN]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Msgr_MΩment

    Can somebody please pronounce these guys to all be Nazis? My punching fingers are itching.

  • goonemeritus

    He’s totally right my 5 year old regularly mined the floor with Lego pieces. If that isn’t terrorism I don’t know what is.

    • Beowoof14

      Having grandkids who love legos and love leaving them all over the place, I understand the need for high alert when they are over playing with them.

      • MynameisBlarney

        The end of all things.

        http://i.imgur.com/bE3RIRw.jpg

        • handyhippie65

          that is so deliciously evil! MUHHAHAHAHAHA! sorry, it’s just been one of those days…

      • Monsieur_Grumpe

        You can get revenge by buying your grand kids drum sets next Christmas.

        • Monsieur_Grumpe

          Also give them a cup of coffee before sending them home.

          • Oblios_Cap

            With lots of sugar.

        • Rock Drummer

          That’s why I was orphaned at 7 years old!

  • Yes, yes, you’re “keeping us all safe” from a problem that hasn’t actually existed in sixteen years.

    Ve must protect zee Vaterland!

  • MynameisBlarney

    So…Military vehicles sporting trump flags…

    That’s not the least bit disconcerting.

    http://crooksandliars.com/2017/01/what-are-these-trump-flags-about

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Military regulations are just another kind of law that doesn’t apply to Trumpkins in the New Order.

    • Treg Brown

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/23d6aedfaa7da1c1e3ca9ed2ecd2a3aa09475ce0792aec7bce60070e6f4c2281.png

      I’m hoping this is surplus stuff that’s privately owned. But Jesus.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        If it’s anyone in the actual military, they’re in a world of hurt. That sort of shit is a court-martial offense.

      • FigaroPho

        If it were privately owned, it should have a license plate and I don’t see one. Active duty vehicles have unit IDs and I think the black writing across the top in the back is a unit ID. It also looks up-armored. This is almost certainly real, active duty. If so, the unit ID needs to be enhanced and the responsible party needs to be immediately court marshaled and dishonorably discharged.

        This is illegal but it’s sadly unsurprising. The first rule of being a dictator: make the military loyal to the psychotic, bloodthirsty dictator, not the people. They do that so that when the dictator starts ordering them to kill the people in the streets for resisting and protesting his lunacy, they do it without hesitation or remorse.

        • JCfromNC

          Probably some National Guard beer-swilling* redneck rather than an active duty soldier. But given some of the reactionaries I met in the Marines, I wouldn’t be especially shocked if it turned out to be active duty personnel.

          *ETA: I say “beer-swilling” because of a guy at “summer camp” (the 2-week summer training we did every year) I went to one year greeted the day with the “pssst” of a Bud can opening. I can imagine this being that sort of guy.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Damien, Firestarter, Orphan. Little kids are goddam terrifying.”
    — Sean Spicer, a little mixed up on what is real and what isn’t

  • sw19bender
  • MynameisBlarney
  • Me not sure

    I certainly don’t know, but maybe some sickos get a thrill from handcuffing 5 yr. Old boys.

  • Belasaurius

    the only thing that can stop a five year old with a bomb is another five year old with a bomb

  • Greyhame
    • Treg Brown

      Excellent read! Thanks.

      “When opponents speak out, the authors of the shock event call them enemies. As society reels and tempers run high, those responsible for the shock event perform a sleight of hand to achieve their real goal, a goal they know to be hugely unpopular, but from which everyone has been distracted as they fight over the initial event. There is no longer concerted opposition to the real goal; opposition divides along the partisan lines established by the shock event.”

  • ltmcdies

    Sean Spicer didn’t know this kid was an American citizen? Not shocked in the least…guy didn’t know the white guy who shot and killed 6 Muslim men in Quebec “liked” Donald Trump on Facebook either.

    and that’s only the top two items on the list “Things Sean Spicer Doesn’t Know”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      And it’s a long list.

      • Belasaurius

        infinity and beyond

  • Lance Thrustwell

    But what’s up with the TSA idiots who did the actual detaining of the kid? That’s the weird part. They obviously thought they were going to get in trouble if they let him through. What kind of Orwellian bureaucratic nightmare-machine is that agency anyway?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “I couldn’t get into the FBI, but that doesn’t mean I’m not tough.”
      — A TSA supervisor

    • Vecchioivan

      A lot of TSA employees are too stupid to walk down the concourse and get a better paying job flipping burgers.

      • Shan

        It’s harder to harass people flipping burgers. Yeah, you could spit in their food but that doesn’t provide the same satisfaction you get from seeing actual fear in someone’s eyes.

        • kareemachan

          I had one take away a little bird-shaped paper cutter (I use it for coupons) which, when the beak is out, has a cutting area of 1/4″ long. I bet he gave it to his wife, who cooed at him and told him what a brave, strong man he is.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Actually, most of them are minimum wage, terribly trained and better than they should be…

    • Ghenghis McCann

      They were only obeying orders. As if that excuse actually worked last time it was used.

      • sw19bender

        Yeah but they had fun while it lasted.

  • Wild Cat

    Look, Wonkettes, if Susan Sarandon thinks this is for the best, then it’s for the best. Yeesh!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Susan Sarandon wasn’t acting in Rocky Horror.

      • Wild Cat

        I wish I saw it. Managed to miss all 789,987 midnight screenings in NYC.

      • Monsieur_Grumpe

        She wants to be dirty.

        • sw19bender

          She’s been known to be partial to creatures of the night.

    • ltmcdies

      yes she loves to burn “it all down” while sits in a Susan hidey hole

      • Wild Cat

        Well, offhand she should give the ACLU about $2.7M to make up for her stupidity.

    • nightmoth

      I think Susan is a victim of a full blown mid-life crisis. Left a perfectly good husband to hang out with a much younger man whose claim to greatness is ping-pong parlors: became an obnoxious never-say-die Bernie Sis–Why couldn’t she have just bought a sports car and started speeding? Sheesh.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Maybe a coupe….with a very votey long scarf around her neck blowing in the wind. That would be so Hollywood romantic!…..

        • nightmoth

          Isadora Duncan style? You naughty boy!

        • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

          Ms. Sarandon has affectations of political relevance, and “affectations can be dangerous.”

        • Thaumaturgist

          Snoopy, in his Sopwith Camel

      • FigaroPho

        She’s 70, that’s sadly not mid-life. Sixteen years ago, she was an obnoxious die-hard Nader-ite who refused to take responsibility for helping Bush win. She used the same lame excuses to justify her selfishness then that she’s using now.

        ‘Burn it all down because I’m rich, famous, and white and won’t get hurt no matter what happens anyway’ is basically her attitude and has been for decades.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      I hate her and I hate her more because I can never watch Thelma & Louise (and the debut of Brad Pitt) ever again because her stupid face is in it.

  • Beowoof14

    Well getting that kid cuffed and in custody make me feel much safer Sean. However, what would really make me feel safe would be Trump leaving the country in disgrace and taking you and Bannon with him.

    • kareemachan

      And Invanka. And Jarrod. And Melania. And Barron. And, FFS, Kellyannebob and Bullet Necklace….

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Don’t forget KaC, don’t forget KaC, don’t forget KaC!! Stephen Miller also too.

  • memzilla Ω
    • sw19bender

      Bernie Bros?

    • Greyhame

      Imperator Nero Cladius?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Lex Luthor?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Reinhard Heydrich?

    • nightmoth

      Oh, let’s just short circuit Godwin’s Law and go straight to “Hitler,” shall we?

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Allen West?

    • mPEEg

      The “Occupy McDonald’s” counter-movement in Chicago?

    • Stulexington

      Elisabeth Warren?

  • LarryHoudini

    When this is all over, some might wish evil on Sean Spicer, but isn’t being Donald Trump’s Press Secretary punishment enough?
    ANSWER: NO. NO IT IS NOT.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Ron Ziegler was a total amateur next to Sean Sphincter.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Congratulations and many thanks 45, this shit storm does what no EU leader has been able to do to such an extend and that is finally letting us see that we need to unite instead divide. http://www.consilium.europa.eu/en/press/press-releases/2017/01/31-tusk-letter-future-europe/

  • nightmoth

    Fuck you, Sean Spiceless. Go suck a vanilla bean.

    • msanthropesmr

      A vanilla bean objects

  • o’look Skwerl!

    As I’ve heard from more than one RWNJ, Terror babies are REAL!

    • Wild Cat

      They watched “Battle of Algiers”? Mon Dieu!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Especially 70 year old terror babies!

    • Greyhame

      I did recently see an RW acquaintance on social media dismissing the tweets of Bana al-Abed (a.k.a. the Anne Frank of Aleppo) as pure propaganda (how is a 7 year old supposedly running her own twitter account, HUH?)

    • Oblios_Cap

      Wonkette babby uses cuteness as her weapon of choice.

  • dslindc

    Maybe we should “inconvenience” Sean Sphincter for a few hours and see how much he still thinks it’s good policy.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      The inconvenience for Sean is not to ask questions, just to Grrrrrr at him. Because he’s a liar….

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I love how they think they can decide what is inconvenient for others

  • SessileRaptor

    He must have read those death statistics that indicated that more americans were killed by toddlers with guns than were killed by terrorists.

    He knows where the real threat is, next step is to ban beds because more people died of falling out of them than were killed by terrorists.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      All those people who die “peacefully in their sleep”? Killed by terrorist beds.

      • Bozilingus

        Scalia-ed.

        • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

          Thank you. The one bright spot in all this is that Scalia is still dead.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          the pillow of death…

          • riledupone

            Mattreses have long memories.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
    • Swampay

      They had a pretty spiffy process at Auschwitz, from what I’ve read. Smooth, efficient. Process is important.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Waterboard that babby until he confesses to doing Nine One One to us!

    • janecita

      He is also the Unabomber.

      • Roadstergal

        The Lindbergh baby stole the Lindbergh baby!

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          and ate my dingo!

    • Nockular cavity

      I’m sure he’s done Number Two to somebody.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Also, too, the kidnapping of the Lindbergh babby!

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      He killed Hoffa

  • janecita

    What does Putin think about this ban? I’m actually curious to know.

    • sw19bender

      Too busy laughing his fuckin ass off to care about the minor details.

      • janecita

        Well, you have to admit that the guy is talented. He managed to do, what the Soviets couldn’t do in their 70 years of existance.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Building a war between the US and the Muslim world? Priceless…..

      • Wild Cat

        I thought he was busy on the US-China War of 2018?

        • sw19bender

          Many irons in the fire…

    • Wild Cat

      Putin, Putin,
      I’ve been thinking—
      Who the fuck did you
      Return to drinking?

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    To say nothing of the inconvenience of an administration hell bent for misogyny, racism, and religious intolerance…

  • Suttree

    Spicer is going to have to work a lot harder, to get up to Scott McClellan level obfuscation and bullshit.

    • Roadstergal

      Spicer has too much flopsweat.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Ari Fleischer – now there was a liar’s liar!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      He hasn’t said “that statement is inoperative” yet, which is Ron Ziegler’s most famous line.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Spicer really tried to sell “age and gender doesn’t matter, they’re all potential terrorists” about a 5 year old?

    That’s your choice right there America. Right there.

    What sort of country do you want to live in?

    • Usedtobeyellerdawg

      Maybe he was just trying to be inclusive. Age and gender discrimination are not politically correct, you know.

  • ez

    http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/villains/images/1/1e/Minime.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20100216190701 Sure he looks like a 5 year old kid, but how can you be sure? HOW CAN YOU BE SURE?!?!?!?

  • Rick Hill

    Be fair. It’s possible that someone hijacking and flying a plane into a skyscraper could very well be a five year old boy or a 400 lbs man living in his parents basement. We have to be very careful and just start the ovens and the showers.

  • Nounverb911
    • Diaper’s too clean

    • SterWonk

      Who are the parents supposed to be?

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Read Jonathan Haidt on how liberals’ and conservatives’ brains really do work differently. Liberals focus on Care and Fairness metrics, while Conservatives throw Authority, In-Group Loyalty, and Purity into the mix. (That is VERY truncated)

    His TED talk:
    https://www.ted.com/talks/jonathan_haidt_on_the_moral_mind/transcript?language=en

  • ez

    Sure he looks like a 5 year old kid, but how can you be sure? HOW CAN YOU BE SURE?!?!?!? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bf35ea6ad85a3541eba8e4067dfb05bd03ec3ca794451cf7c0fdd2c577ab6859.jpg

    (deleted 1st attempt)

    • Oblios_Cap

      If nothing else, that little shit will respect the law now. Gotta get them young.

  • mancityRed6

    Considering how many toddlers have shot people over the past few years, I’m not going to be turning by back on any of them.

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    Seriously, I don’t think Spicer’s gonna make it past July. He’s gonna blow a gasket or have a meltdown and end up incapacitated if he doesn’t chill the fuck up.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      I have never seen a WH spox so agitated and uncomfortable. It’s like the whole administration knows there is something bad about to go down and they are all covering their assess. And by bad, I mean an attack. Could be that Trump finally read his briefings and is in full panic mode.

      • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

        It’s possible. I’ve been thinking they may be worried about attacks to Trump properties overseas. Hotels are easy targets and Al Qaeda has mounted a few successful attacks on hotels and resorts in various places. It would be a conundrum: an attack on a Trump property would be so on a private holding, not on a US Government asset. I’m sure the puppet would not see the difference but the Military may balk at going to war to protect a plutocrat’s hotels.

        • Suttree

          That would be…… ummm….. interesting?

        • Oblios_Cap

          They’ve done it to protect bananas, so why stop now?

          • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

            They sure did. I would think the folks running theMilitary today would be a little more enlightened than their predecessors. I hope they have ready Gen. Smedley Butler’s reflections on war. Again, one can only hope given the fundie doctrine that pervades the Military these days.

          • Ωbjectifier

            The only thing that’s changed since Butler’s time are the venues.

          • Thanks for the reminder. I put a list of “where to start” reading up on my (mommy recipe) blog and have now added a link to War is a Racket.

          • Paul

            Smedley Butler is America’s biggest unknown hero. Wonder why?

        • Jenny

          This is going to happen.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      I hope they all stroke out.

    • ladyblug

      He reminds me of an character on House of Cards.

    • OneYieldRegular

      I can’t stop staring at that suit. I mean, I’m no snappy dresser or anything, but I wouldn’t go to Chuck E. Cheese – let alone to a press conference – dressed like a child pretending to be Al Capone.

  • An interesting aside on l’affaire Bannon
    https://twitter.com/jonathanalter/status/826284614188662784

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      OK, Schumer… get to it. Now!

      • You’re a bit of an optimist, aren’t you?

        • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

          One can only hope.

    • Spurning Beer

      Bannon would breeze through confirmation, I’m sure.

      Wait. Did I say “breeze through”? I meant to say “defiantly refuse to submit to.”

  • Rick Hill

    Who knew that it would happen this fast?
    http://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aebj4jq_460s.jpg

    • Swampay

      They couldn’t find a copy of Mein Kampf?

      • handyhippie65

        it’s prolly not on discount. dumpy’s is 30%. o’reilly’s is only 20%!

        • Kellyrpayne

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !sr321c:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !sr321c:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash871ShopStreamGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!sr321c:….,……

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Evan: I know you were out and missed a few things but … according to every Republican on TV, all of this is Obama’s fault.

  • Thaumaturgist
    • Poly_Ester

      More like Kim Trump-un

  • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

    The scary part (or more precisely, one of the many scary parts) is that CBP agents are wanna-be rambos with fucking sub-junior high educations. They’re going to eat this shit up.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    I know I’d be very, very nervous if I saw that babby crawling suspiciously toward the cockpit of an airplane.

    • Rick Hill

      Yeah but a five year old, so cute, asks to see the cockpit of a real plane…we all know how that ends…

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Gladiator movies?

  • Suttree

    According to Rudy we only had terror attacks while Clinton and Obama were in office. Therefore aren’t we now safe that Turnip is in?
    http://www.npr.org/2016/08/16/490200895/rudy-giuliani-claims-no-terror-attacks-in-u-s-pre-obama

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Was Rudy asleep on 9/11?

      • Bill D. Burger

        Miss Ghouliani’ is an expert at “misremembering.” He also misremembered that Sen Clinton was in NYC after 911: “She was no where to found,” Giuliani said.
        Within minutes, pictures of Senator Clinton walking beside Giuliani the day after were posted on line.
        Giuliani: “I had just forgotten.”

      • Ricky Gay

        only after sunrise

        • IdRatherBeDancing

          Well played

    • SterWonk

      I’m calling pre-emptive @disqus_j7NnvQG14L:disqus LIBEL!!!

      • Suttree

        S/he’s around here somewhere!

    • Jenny

      It’s like he has forgetten his one claim to fame!

  • Blender_415

    And yet, I don’t really feel any sense of satisfaction now that my co-workers are acknowledging what I’ve been telling them for over a year; that these fucktards are really, really going to try to do all the crazy shit they promised. But three of are now brand-new members of the ACLU, so there’s that. Onward.

    • Little Lulu ResistanceFighter

      Excellent!

  • Master Contrail Program

    In a few years that kid could be buying sweet tea and Skittles! Better to be proactive than reactive.

  • Oblios_Cap

    And to make sure if they are a five-year-old, then maybe that they are with their parents and they don’t pose a threat. But to assume that just because of someone’s age or gender or whatever that they don’t pose a threat is misguided and wrong.

    That’s what I say about 70 year-olds who act like they’re 5.

  • Stulexington

    So out of curiosity, what barbaric full of themselves asshats have they been hiring at the airport border patrol for the last decade????!!!11??eleven! Seriously they told attorneys with federal court orders to let them see their clients to take a hike, oh yeah and they handcuffed a fucking 5 year old! Seriously what are the hiring criteria that leads to this crap? It’s not just a fluke either it’s multiple airports where this is happening? Are the real border guards dead and these are the secret Nazi replacements?

  • Bebecca

    I’m shocked at this but I actually have a good thing to say about HIM (can’t type the new president’s name)….at least he doesn’t profess to be all about family values and Jesus like the other republicans. Nope, he’s an evil a$$hole and he’s proud of it. but maybe the only example of honesty we ever see from him.

    • Shan

      He’s only being honest because he doesn’t have a human-like filter. It’s not a positive feature, it’s another defect. At least the Dominionists are trying to protect themselves from their own cognitive dissonance.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The Dominionists need to be forced at vote point back under the rocks from which they crawled.

        • mailman27

          They pose a much graver threat to the republic than any 5 yr old Muslim kid.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistant

      Call him Il Duncė. We’ll know who you mean.

      • Sardonicuss

        Il Douche will also work.

    • ViveLaRésistance

      He did say on national teevee that maybe the IRS audits him because he is a “strong Christian.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VlUlT9CDIg

    • Ωbjectifier

      That’s what Pence is for.

    • Darkest Timeline Zach Morris

      I’ve been typing T#$%P to save my brain.

    • DahBoner
    • Yr. Gma

      He does it when it suits him.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Ooh, ooh, Sean! Over here Sean! Yes, how many terrorists were caught at our nations airports over the weekend?

    • beingreleased

      AOT,K?

    • Bozilingus

      AOT,K?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Better yet, if vetting them for 18-24 months isn’t sufficient, what will an additional 90 days accomplish?

  • The Librarian

    My kids were terrors when they were 5, but not terrorists. There is a difference you, know, Mr. Spicer.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    You will all toil in Emperor Trump’s coal mines if you do not offer up sufficient praise of glorious leader.

    • ViveLaRésistance

      You didn’t capitalize “Glorious Leader.” To the gulag!

      • Rags

        And I sincerely hope you haven’t stopped clapping yet.

  • TJ Barke

    For the safety of us all. Right. Sure.

    • The Committee of Public Safety has concluded thats Mssr Danton, Robespiere and Lavoisier are a danger and should be executed

  • Spurning Beer

    I had a thought. [waits for snickers to subside]

    Those Muslim-majority, terror-producing countries that aren’t on the list? Saudi Arabia, Turkey, Egypt, etc.? The fact that there are substantial Trump interests in all of them could obviously affect US foreign policy because Trump would not do something that would decrease his own revenues (even though he would never know about that, since the visually impaired trust is in place and his sons would never cross that line). But what’s more insidious, I think, is that if he were to do something to upset those countries he would be subject to, essentially, blackmail, in that Trump Towerses could be threatened with nationalization, government shut-down, angry mob attacks, etc. That’s pretty much what Erdogan was working up to a few weeks ago.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Conversely, want to not feel the wrath of a US ban on travel? Approve that new project of mine…

    • Can you say that’s what the Emoluments Clause is about

      • Spurning Beer

        Sorta, but not precisely. Receiving a title or gift is not identical to being complicit with extortion or blackmail.

        • Rick Hill

          Yeah, about those remittances he wants to withhold from Mexico, how about if some foreign power withheld the royalty payments from one his bidness interests?

        • Rags

          But a quid pro quo involving an official act (not banning travel from Saudi, for example, while Saudi permits him to personally profit within the country) is indictable and sufficient for conviction, even in the face of recent SCOTUS pantywaist decisions on bribery.

          • Spurning Beer

            Wish I shared your optimism, Rags. I really do.

          • Rags

            Oh, I’m just making a legal argument, not a prediction, believe me!

      • Rags

        Also what the Electoral College was once about, and look how well that worked the one time it was needed desparately.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    Good morning wonks. Moar coffeeesss…..I have been in restaurants and can say on good authority that five year olds can be a BIGLY threat.

  • Martini Ambassador

    Rather than worrying about 5-yr-olds, I’m most concerned about the tiny-fisted terrorist that fucking over the entire country.

  • Poly_Ester

    One way to assure a continuing supply of home-grown terrorists.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Gotta check em’ young. Them young furriners’ can be so devious.

    http://www.vitamin-ha.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/skeptical-baby-meme-2.jpg

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      “A million dollars…”

  • AppleJackie

    I’ve read several articles that this morning that there’s an obscure law on the books that may require Bannon to go through Senate approval for his seat on the SC. I really hope Dem grow a pair and make this push. The confirmation hearings would be humiliating for Trump and Bannon. Hope!
    https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/50/3021

    • ViveLaRésistance

      I just called both my senators. Bill Nelson’s (D-FL) voice mailbox is full again so I had to email. I hope that means he’s getting an earful. I left a message for Marco that he’s not going to like much since I did imprudently ask him to grow a spine and do his job.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    OT FWIW Peyton Manning is only a slightly more interesting speaker than Joe Montana

    • Ωbjectifier

      Sing it with me….Chicken parm, you taste so good.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        he did make the obligatory Nationwide and Papa John’s joke

    • Bill D. Burger

      Or “Bernie” from ‘Weekend at Bernies’

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        the only good ex NFL speaker I’ve ever had is Bradshaw

  • Stulexington

    Wait a second, I haven’t heard anything about Pence since the election, what’s that little shit weasel up to?

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Biding his time. He’s so close to becoming president he can almost taste it.

      • Antonin Dvorak

        Great minds, etc…

      • pstockholm

        So close to the president he can taste him?

    • Antonin Dvorak

      He spoke at that Ant-Choice counter-demonstration the other day. Other than that, I would imagine he is biding his time.

    • AppleJackie
    • Bill D. Burger
    • Jgb979

      Preparing his innaguration speech

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      practicing his upcoming speech

      Now, therefore, I, Gerald R. Ford Mike Pence, President of the United States, pursuant to the pardon power conferred upon me by Article II, Section 2, of the Constitution, have granted and by these presents do grant a full, free, and absolute pardon unto Richard Nixon Donald Trump for all offenses against the United States

      • Stulexington

        Doesn’t he actually have to be convicted before he’s pardoned? Asking seriously, I’ve joked about preemptive pardons but does it really work that way?

        • Roadstergal

          “As a result of certain acts or omissions occurring before his resignation from the Office of President, Richard Nixon has become liable to possible indictment and trial for offenses against the United States. Whether or not he shall be so prosecuted depends on findings of the appropriate grand jury and on the discretion of the authorized prosecutor. Should an indictment ensue, the accused shall then be entitled to a fair trial by an impartial jury, as guaranteed to every individual by the Constitution.

          It is believed that a trial of Richard Nixon, if it became necessary, could not fairly begin until a year or more has elapsed. In the meantime, the tranquility to which this nation has been restored by the events of recent weeks could be irreparably lost by the prospects of bringing to trial a former President of the United States. The prospects of such trial will cause prolonged and divisive debate over the propriety of exposing to further punishment and degradation a man who has already paid the unprecedented penalty of relinquishing the highest elective office of the United States.

          Now, THEREFORE, I, GERALD R. FORD, President of the United States, pursuant to the pardon power conferred upon me by Article II, Section 2, of the Constitution, have granted and by these presents do grant a full, free, and absolute pardon unto Richard Nixon for all offenses against the United States which he, Richard Nixon, has committed or may have committed or taken part in during the period from January 20, 1969 through August 9,1974.”

      • Antonin Dvorak

        “Our long national nightmare II: Electric Bugaloo, is over”.

    • Rick Hill

      Social restructuring. Getting rid of sluts, gays, independent thought…

    • Apple Scruff
  • shastakoala

    Honestly, anyone that has to be strapped into a car seat or hold hands crossing the street oughta be given a pass.

  • Darkest Timeline Zach Morris

    Betsy DeVos is appalled at this treatment.

    That child could have been working in a mine this entire time.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Or amusing her by chasing tennis balls on her lawn.

    • proudgrampa

      Or a chimney sweep.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Or hunting grizzlies.

    • Rags

      or selling Amway

  • Jgb979

    Is this a little girl or terrorist?
    https://cdn.meme.am/i/460x/m7sgd.jpg

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Fun fact: She is also Australian. That Old El Paso commercial was shot completely in a studio in Sydney.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I think some people have not read what exactly the order says

    That would include the people working for the agencies that are supposed to enforce it, but who you failed to consult before enacting it, which helped cause the ensuing chaos. What’s your point, asshole?

    • Jgb979

      The people most likely to have not read the order are the ones who would trust this administration to be truthful as to what it contains.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    I have to say, Insane Spice is not my favorite…

  • Bill D. Burger

    I have a strong suspicion there are many, many babby’ terrorists in the making out there, but they are grads of the Trump White Christian Terrorist School of Gawwd’ Fearin’ MurriKKKa.

    http://www.youaredefinitelydoingitwrong.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/your-child-is-a-terrorist.jpg?w=640

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    109 were inconvenienced for the safety of us all

    Yes, please save me from those terrifying five year olds!!!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/660218118602cc4d3d0861cfd01d22d7f92b9fde7be6bca0d43323847f05842f.png

    • cmd resistor

      Yeah, and they’d still be being “inconvenienced” if zillions of badass snowflakes hadn’t showed up to shine light on this shit. Locked up in airports or worse, no information available, etc.

    • DahBoner

      In a few months we’ll hear KeC saying only 109 dissonants were executed today what are you complaining about?

    • Roadstergal

      I believe the current knowledge is that ‘109’ is the people who were in the air at the time of the order, and actively detained at airports; the number affected was much, much greater.

      Also, actively detained, handcuffed, questioned, held without food or water or fuckin’ lawyers, forced to sign away visas… that’s just a mite bit beyond ‘inconvenience,’ asshole. You try it.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Thanks for the details…

      • ez

        I gave you 6 thumbs up, but five of them didn’t show…just wanted to let you know.

      • natoslug

        20,000 supposedly actually affected, which is a tiny bit higher than 109. Given that it also completely suspended the Syrian refugee program, which let in a little over 12K refugees last year, and reduced the total refugee cap from 110,000 to 50,000 for 2017, the 20,000 may end up also being a little on the low side as well over time.

    • zerosumgame0005

      now 2 year olds! OMG there is a reign of terror!

      • Historicat

        Now, if we were talking 3 year olds – they’re the real terrorists!

        • Roadstergal

          Why?

          • Historicat

            “You’re going to have to wait until after (something) to have your milk.”
            [Meltdown here]
            [(something) happens]
            “OK, now that (something) is done AND you’re calm, let’s get you that milk.”
            “NOOOOOOOO!!! No milk!!!” (throws self on floor in highly dramatic fashion)

          • Yr. Gma

            So true! Also “That’s miiiiiinnne!”

          • Serai 1
          • Roadstergal

            But why?

          • Historicat

            Go ask your mother.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    But to assume that just because of someone’s age or gender or whatever that they don’t pose a threat is misguided and wrong

    You know, one could say the same thing about religion…

    • ladyblug

      You are the winner, winner chicken dinner!

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Or, apparently, Steve “Burn America Down” Bannon.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Ah hah! They may have stopped the 5 year old, cuter than cute, Baby bin Laden___ but Miss Precious-Perfect Bakr al-Baghdadi walked right on into Murrika’ unnoticed.

    https://cdn1.ijr.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/funny-picture-1087575513.jpg

    • ez

      and that’s why Mr Trump is known as a Pussy Grabber, thank you for keeping America Safe

    • mailman27

      I can’t believe somebody convinced a cat to go along with that. That is some impressive kitteh wrangling.

      • Kateaux

        I can’t believe the costume isn’t covered with the blood of the human/s who dressed up the cat.

  • ViveLaRésistance

    OT, I am new to Chrome. Is the thing that turns trump to kittehs free? Is there one for puppehs?

    • cmd resistor

      It’s free but doesn’t work on every Trump pic. At least on my computer, it’s sporadic, but any kitteh that replaces a pic of him is a plus. I don’t know about puppies but apparently there is one that turns him into a cheeseburger.

      • ViveLaRésistance

        OK, kitties it is. Any relief is welcome. Thank you!

        • cmd resistor

          Actually the sporadic is kind of fun because you never know when you are going to get a Kitteh instead of Trump so it’s always a pleasant surprise when you do.

      • Serai 1

        It works via filenames. So if the pic doesn’t say “trump”, the app doesn’t work.

        • cmd resistor

          That would explain why sometimes it seems to come up on a Trump family member. Which is fine, as I am sick of seeing them, too.

    • Chadwells

      I used the “Make Donald Drumpf Again” Chrome extension from John Oliver and everyone here thought I was a Trump troll!!!!

      There needs to be one for puppehs!!!

    • Rags
  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    I’m sure that 5 year old and his family and others who have been impacted won’t feel any negative feelings towards the US government and will be properly grateful for the experience of being detained in the name of safety.

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      Over the weekend, I watched Jim Jeffries latest Netflix special “Freedumb”. He did a great bit about radicalization much along the lines of your comment. I highly recommend it for a good (much needed) laugh.

  • DahBoner

    There’s a lot of Bad Dudes trying to get into the White House.
    https://media2.giphy.com/media/l2R0aIkYUXywiDMdO/200_d.gif#29

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    Period!

  • Darkest Timeline Zach Morris
  • cmd resistor

    OT, Dems on committees considering Price and Mnuchin are refusing to go to the committee hearing, which will somehow delay the votes. http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/dems-boycott-confirmation-votes-for-trump-nominees/ar-AAmstsg?li=BBmkt5R&ocid=spartanntp
    Best quote: “I can’t understand why senators, who know we’re going to have these two people go through, can’t support the committee,” said Chairman Orrin Hatch (R-Utah).
    “I’m very disappointed in this kind of crap. … Some of this is because they just don’t like the president.”
    “This is the most pathetic thing I’ve seen in my whole time in the United States Senate,” he added.

    • ViveLaRésistance

      Geez, Orrin, the only way you’ve never seen this exact thing before is if you slept through the last 8 years. Are you a liar, or were you asleep? It has to be one or the other.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Orrin Hatch said that? Geez oh man, and politicians wonder why they have really terrible reputations for honesty and integrity.

    • The Wanderer

      Buy that fucker a mirror.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      He’s Christian, right? Jesus has some words for him.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Boo Fucking Hoo –Senator Prig from Utah. It’s not even the most pathetic thing in the last day you fucktwat.

    • Rags
    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      I can’t even muster up the energy to be outraged by this shit any more. They are going to keep doing it – because it works. Because a large percentage of the American populace is too fucking stupid to realize how they are being played for suckers.

      The election of Donald Trump has grievously damaged the fabric of American democracy, possibly beyond repair. I certainly don’t think it will be repaired in my lifetime. The damage it will do to the rest of the world – to international relations, to the world economy, to the environment, – can only be imagined at this point. The protests are heartening, but ultimately, if Trump continues to enact illegal, fascist measures and the Republican party not only allows him to get away with it but is his willing accomplice, who is there that can stop him? The courts? Why would he comply with an adverse legal judgement, assuming there was one? Who or what would compel him to do so? “John Marshall has made his decision; now let him enforce it!” We know that the military and law enforcement are, in the majority, Trump supporters. Would the military leadership refuse to obey unlawful orders? We know that LE are already obeying them.

      I don’t know what is going to happen. But I am damn scared.

    • Apple Scruff

      The irony… it burns…

  • proudgrampa

    Well I, for one, am very glad they halted that 5-year old for questioning. They had to make sure that he was potty-trained.

    After all, sometimes a diaper can smell like a real BOMB!

    Fucking clowns.

    • suziq

      A five year old has probably been potty trained for a long time, but then again if detained for 4 hours after a long flight if they don’t let him use a bathroom who knows? Sometimes when they delay flights without letting you get up then you have to wait until they turn off the seatbelt sign…it can get painful!

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    I, for one, will not feel safe until I know what the strings are that tie the Russian Puppet to his masters. Oh, also too…until I know that Steve “Burn America Down” Bannon is no longer in charge of national security.

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend
  • C4TWOMAN
    • Rags

      Not so bad – at least Vader turned from the Dark Side and destroyed the Emperor, though not with votes (as we should).

      • C4TWOMAN

        I’m a bit concerned about Missy, but diversity!

    • BeverlyCrusher’sWig

      Is that The Master from Doctor Who on the end or did RBG change her look?

      • C4TWOMAN

        That is indeed Missy. A bit subtle there. Think of it as an “easter egg”.
        =^-^=

  • Chadwells

    Pretty sure Spicer is the result of a drunken Bannon/Trump sloppy, (man)cooch grabbing hookup.

    • The Wanderer

      For the Mouth of Sauron, he’s certainly managing to imitate his master’s unhinged, ranting style quite well.

    • Apple Scruff

      Spicer is doomed. The guys at Pod Save American say that now that he is a walking internet meme, his career is over. Plus, the King apparently hates him.

      I give him til March. If he’s lucky.

      • Chadwells

        I’m sure his replacement will be equally vitriolic. Ugh.

        • Apple Scruff

          Originally Kellyanne wanted the job. Not so sure she does anymore.

          • Chadwells

            I could not imagine having to listen to her every day for 4 years. This every sunday routine is bad enough!!!

          • Alternative Pony Ron

            Think they might force it on her?

        • Jennaratrix

          Probably worse.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        I watched the press briefing yesterday and I wanted to throw my computer out of the window. At one point one of the journalists sitting in front had to actually shame-scold him a little in order to stop him from going off on some rant about someone. I wasn’t sure who the person was he was going to rant about.

    • Yr. Gma

      Ew.

  • Chadwells

    Well, the Trumpelforeskin Admin has already executed an 8 year old American girl this past weekend along with that Navy SEAL they killed…so it should not come as a surprise that this 5 year old was cuffed.

    Doomed.

    • Sandy Beaches

      I hope the five year old gets a good lawyer…and a good therapist. And as a side note, I have no idea how I’m going to be able to sustain this level of rage for 4 years.

      • Chadwells

        I’m right there with you….constant state of triggered for 4 years is going to be exhausting!!!

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        I was screaming when I saw the story about the 8 year old — scared all the animals in the house and probably some in the neighborhood. Motherfuckers kill a child in their clusterfuck!

  • Chadwells

    So I wonder when that ballbag-eyed fuck bumper, Spray Tan Hitler is going to brag about this? He was soooo excited that he created the 20,000 mark!!!

    “Donald Trump Travel Ban Hits Dollar, Slams Stocks”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-travel-ban-dollar-stocks_us_5890bb75e4b0c90eff003bc0?ir=Politics&utm_hp_ref=politics

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      The US dollar has dropped 3 cents against the loonie, about 4%, since before the inauguration.
      I’ll bet we top the US dollar before year’s end. Maybe before summer. Not that by that point the US will have anything we want to buy.

  • Chadwells

    WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!

    “Betsy DeVos’ Nomination Clears Senate Committee, Despite Staunch Democratic Opposition”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/betsy-devos-education-secretary-nomination_us_588f77bbe4b02772c4e80681?ir=Politics&utm_hp_ref=politics

    • Education is for liberal elites

      • Chadwells

        They want to keep the masses stupid and compliant….she’s their Huckleberry. FFS…we are doomed.

    • Yr. Gma

      How shocked am I?

      • Chadwells

        Like me…not at all, I reckon. Optimism is dead.

    • Serai 1

      What? You expected some other result?

      • Chadwells

        Alas….no.

        And I’m the one who is usually making fun of people’s blind optimism…I’m such a hypocrite!

        • Serai 1

          It’s easy to keep falling back into.

  • Apple Scruff

    Well, statistics show (and this is a real true altaltfact) ) that you are more likely to be shot by a toddler than killed by a terrorist… of course, those gun-toting toddlers are USAmerican, but we can’t be too cautious, right?

    • mancityRed6

      those kids aren’t terrorists, their freedom fighters, fighting the oppression of their parental units.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I thought they were lone wolves.

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      Stats also showed you’re more likely to be killed by a bed falling on you. Are we going to shut down all mattress stores next?

      • Alternative Pony Ron

        Jebus, don’t give them ideas.

  • Panika MCD

    OT – Dead Dok,

    since you like doing stories on TX, I left a link to the State of the State which will begin momentarily on the Wonkagenda. there’s also some stuff about a dumb bill that actually may go somewhere which was filed by Sen. Larry Taylor and provides Educational Savings Accounts.

    love,
    yr friendly neighborhood Texsplainer

    • Lefty Wright

      Sounds like a backdoor way to provide tax subsidies for religious schools. These are great for colleges and universities, I don’t see a need for tax breaks for private schools when there are public schools needing funding.

      • Panika MCD

        it’s like getting a SNAP card for school. it’s dumb.

      • Panika MCD

        p.s. Gov. Abbott came into the House Chamber through the backdoor today.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          I read on the internet that Texas Governor Abbott enjoyed the occasional backdoor.

  • Sandy Beaches

    I’m really starting to hate that helium voiced sheep fucker:

    or no reason @USAirways delayed the flight from DCA to PVD – if i am delayed they charge me $$ if they are delayed its no big deal #fail

    — Sean Spicer (@seanspicer) September 26, 2014
    How 2 help? 1) shld not have canceled flight 2) have gate agents say multiple times just 30 more minutes #fail https://t.co/N07OIAx4Ta

    — Sean Spicer (@seanspicer) August 22, 2016
    pilot on flight from CLE to DCA said delay was bc we r “going old school” w no GPS – concerned bc he looks like he is still in school

    — Sean Spicer (@seanspicer) April 8, 2016
    when ur done “reporting” my guess is you end up as a TSA security at the airport — maybe that could b 2 much https://t.co/Yv9lOppzqX

    — Sean Spicer (@seanspicer) October 30, 2015
    When @americanair canceled my flt from #jfk to #DCA (even tho no weather prob) I took @Delta who has great service bye bye @AmericanAir

    — Sean Spicer (@seanspicer) February 10, 2015
    Arrived at DFW 2 fly home 2 b told by @usair they changed my flight – agent said I shld be thankful – might want 2 send to customer school

    — Sean Spicer (@seanspicer) April 25, 2013
    Top notch @TSA in Denver just threw out my 3.8 oz deodorant – great to see such focus, sorry seat mates in row 25

    — Sean Spicer (@seanspicer) August 27, 2015

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sean-spicer-airport-detainees_us_588f96c7e4b02772c4e841e6?section=us_politics

    • Martini Ambassador

      When detaining and handcuffing children and making little old ladies cry at the airport and generally harassing brown people from a few select places because of a racist policy is “a small price to pay to inconvenience 1% of the people” flying, but it’s a goddamn tragedy when your plane is delayed, well then, you might just be suffering from white male privilege, and also too, you might be a giant douchebag.

      • Sandy Beaches

        I was told there is no such thing as white privilege, only white guilt.

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        First World Problems.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Damn he’s a whiney SOB, isn’t he?

      • Alternative Pony Ron

        GOP. It’s genetic or something.

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      His angry tweets at Dippin’ Dots over vanilla ice cream are just as stupid

  • clubseal

    This outrage, though warranted, is perhaps too little, too late. Obama had two opportunities to dismiss the power to indefinitely detain U.S. citizens, and failed to follow through. For reference: https://www.rt.com/usa/160832-ndaa-gitmo-detention-approved/
    Note the following, from the above-linked: “Pres. Barack Obama vowed when he signed the 2012 NDAA into law on
    December 31, 2011 that he would not use the indefinite detention
    powers provided to him by Congress. When that provision was
    challenged in federal court, however, the
    White House fought back adamantly and appealed a District Court
    ruling that initially reversed the indefinite detention clause,
    eventually sending the challenge to the Supreme Court where it
    stalled until earlier this month with the justices there said
    they would not consider the case.”
    It didn’t matter then that “he would not use the indefinite detention powers,” because they would still be there when someone like Trump would have them.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Hey, how do we know this so-called five-year-old isn’t really a commando midget?

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      “We represent the Al Queda guild…”

  • Relativicus

    Dear Trumpenfuhrer, and all Trump Adjacents, no matter how tremendous bigly magnificence spectacular [sic] you are, you will never — never ever ever — ensure the safety of each and every one of us. And, fact of the matter, you probably couldn’t give two shits about 55% of us, and you don’t really care about the other 45%. So quit frontin’.

  • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

    I got my first email from James Kirchick this morning. Outrage over the Muslim ban, which really isn’t a Muslim ban and Obama did the same thing, yadda yadda. More outrage over filthy progressives and their nasty potty mouths. I unsubscribed.

  • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

    They aren’t even trying anymore and it’s just the beginning of week 2.

    • handyhippie65

      oh, they’re tryin, alright. we just can’t let’em.

  • Serai 1

    Yo, listen up! Trae’s got something to say:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o22OVZOx8-s

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      Lord Commander MARMALADE. /snerk

      • Jack Tenhet

        Yeah, that one got me too! Snarfed my coffee.

    • handyhippie65

      i love trae. i subscribe to his youtube channel. it’s almost surreal to hear wisdom coming at you in his southern drawl.

    • Jack Tenhet

      Been a fan since he started! Thanks for posting this!

    • Roadstergal

      Leaves you fan a shitty emperor with. I love the way this guy talks.

      • Serai 1

        I can’t stand those fucking palm trees, either. I’d totally be on board with a city-wide project to rip them all out. They’re a fucking menace to life and limb.

        • Darkrose

          Especially in Northern California. This isn’t palm tree country!

          • Serai 1

            It’s not palm tree country in Southern California, either. They were all imported from the tropics, which California ain’t.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      That was great. Thanks.

  • Scott1960

    These people are such cowards.

    • Khavrinen

      Yeah.
      ‘Murica: Home of the “brave”

  • Crystalclear12

    Makes you proud to be American, don’t it?

    Not even a little fucking bit.

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      I’m just gonna start telling people I’m Canadian. Admitting to being American is currently quite embarrassing :(

      • Crystalclear12

        Yep, sounds good.

      • Rasilom

        I just tell them Im Alaskan. They forget about the polatics and ask about the state.

      • Zyxomma

        When I spent two months in Brazil I made sure to say I was a New Yorker, not an American. Of course, that was long ago, when I was far more fluent in Portuguese, which I get to speak all too rarely.

      • David Bailey

        Frankly, it feels even MORE embarrassing for those of us who made a conscious decision to actually BECOME American citizens through the naturalization process (June 1981 for me). I mean, geez . . .I had a choice.

  • guppy06

    Sen. Chris Van Hollen said on Facebook the boy was a U.S. citizen who lives with his family in Maryland

    And he went through Dulles? Hasn’t the boy suffered enough?

    • mancityRed6

      They could have gone through Newark?

      • Alternative Pony Ron

        Or Philly, where they have somehow figured out how to route every passenger through the exit gate FARTHEST from the one they entered through.

  • guppy06

    “When you look at the 329,000 people, 109 were inconvenienced for the safety of us all.”

    How does this compare to the likelihood of being shot while in Chicago? Alternatively, how many were detained while Spicer was giving that press conference right there?

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      He also went on to try to say that many travelers are often inconvenience by having to wait on long lines, etc. Yeah, he tried to compare the usual casual travelers inconvenience to this. I was flabbergasted.

  • OneYieldRegular

    “And to make sure if they are a five-year-old, then maybe that they are with their parents and they don’t pose a threat.”

    Just try repeating that sentence out loud five times without your heading exploding. Just f*cking try.

  • Serai 1

    So to be completely fair and keep America safe, we need to treat kindergarten-aged kids as the ticking time bombs they may turn out to be.

    By that logic, we should lock up all the white kids because they might turn out to be Timothy McVeigh! Isn’t insanity fun? AMERIKKKA LL BE SO GREAT AGIN.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bd7879d058ba6f34fd1a673865c610af155110a8cbc92118ff02481783450837.gif

    • Kateaux

      Worse! Those white kids might grow up to be like Der Drumpfenfuhrer!

    • Aaron Wise

      And he beat Hillary.
      Here we are, defenseless.
      The Orange Shigibbon actually beat our best.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        But he didn’t… he lost to her.

        All he did was to get his cronies to disqualify enough voters in the right states.

  • Chadwells

    “The Trump administration is considering a plan to weed out would-be immigrants who are likely to require public assistance, as well as to deport — when possible — immigrants already living in the United States who depend on taxpayer help, according to a draft executive order obtained by The Washington Post.”

    Because fuck your poor, meke and tired…they are such bigly, unpresidented losers.

    I hope this rotten orange fucknut’s baby dick falls off. Christ, what a fucking scumbag Trumpelforeskin is.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/trump-administration-circulates-more-draft-immigration-restrictions-focusing-on-protecting-us-jobs/2017/01/31/38529236-e741-11e6-80c2-30e57e57e05d_story.html?utm_term=.0201940c66e3

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Holy fucking fuckballs.

      • Chadwells

        My thoughts, exactly!

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      What are they gonna do with all the white poors who voted Trump? Do they get to stay & just liberal poors will have to leave?

      • Chadwells

        HAH! Good point! We should only be so lucky to get rid of those imbeciles!!

    • Roadstergal

      Great! Does that mean my tax dollars will no longer go to support Trump voters?

      Signed, resident of a big blue state that is a net gain for the Feds.

  • Sandy Beaches

    My celebrity crush, Jason Samuels Smith, (you’ll have to look him up because I have no idea how to post a picture) posted on social media, “If you support Trump, please unfriend me – We do not share the same humanity.” I’m starting to think he might be onto something. When one thinks there is any justification for handcuffing a 5 year old, one has lost their humanity. What was the kid going to do? Write on the walls with a crayon? He probably can’t even spell, “Allah Akbar.”

  • Daisy

    Make sure “if” they were a five year old? Um, Sean Spicer is a Idiot. That’s all.

    • Serai 1

      Hey, they might be four! You never know – they’re tricky…

  • Bad Tom

    About that 3 year old that confessed to crossing the southern border to “look for work”…

    I’m pretty sure that any 3 year old will fold right up under extreme vetting interrogation.

    All you really have to do is withhold their juice box, or possibly their actual, literal, security blanket, and they will sign anything. Except that they can’t write yet, so the interrogator has to sign for them.

  • Bad Tom

    “When you look at the 329,000 people, 109 were inconvenienced for the safety of us all.”

    Spicer lied to us about Trump’s inaugural crowd sizes when we could see the photographs that contradicted him right before our eyes. Why should we believe him about these figures now?

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      Well, 109 inconvienced as in showed up at airports maybe…but what about those that had to cancel plans, be separated for 90’s from friends and family, fucked ypu work and school schedules etc:?

      Behind a paywall, so I can’t tell you what the article says:

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/180e571d8d437e1f0d70357343156aad0b0d49f2e7d867a9e041a2b71aea8078.png

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        I learned this from one of the wonketters, if you go into “incognito” mode on your browser, you can view the articles on WaPo.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          i’ve tried that with other paywalled sites, but it never seems to work. Haven’t tried it on WaPo though.
          (I occasionally need to get info from paywalled journo sites for work, and I never can).

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          P.S. Also, too, thanks!

          • Rachel Book Harlot

            You’re very welcome! I hope it works. :)

        • CatCafe de la Resistance

          Also, too, if you have Amazon Prime, you can get a free six-month subscription to WaPo. Can’t find this out on the Amazon site, but google “Amazon Prime Washington Post.”

          • Darkrose

            If you have a .edu address you can subscribe for free for a year.

      • Alternative Pony Ron

        More of those pesky ‘numbers.’ Reichschancellor Bannon will be getting rid of THOSE suspicious Arab things soon, you bet.

      • Bad Tom

        There is no reason to believe any figure Trump / Spicer spouts. None.

        They lie all the time about trivial crap. Why should we believe an important lie they are telling?

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    How many of you think that in 90 or 120 days, they’ll end their review and the vetting procedures will be left untouched or maybe slightly tweaked, then declare it now “EXTREME” and move on with Administration and supporters claiming he made America Great/Safe Again?

    Yeah, me too.

  • Michael Loraine

    That’s “Sean Sphincter”, please. We must always display the proper level of respect.

  • Alternative Pony Ron

    Gotta say, Spicer’s impression of Otto Dietrich is spot-on. Though he wouldn’t fill out an SS uniform nearly as well.

  • Rachel Book Harlot
    • TakingAmes

      Nah. Cheeto uses a gold Sharpie.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Mission Accomplished. No one’s talking abut the Russians, they got what they wanted on the ban just by giving up the green card holders that they didn’t want in the first place, and the administration knows that DHS is on board with whatever they plan to do.

    I’m beginning to think liberals actually should read The Art of the Deal.

    • CatCafe de la Resistance

      The Art of the Deal was a completely made-up book, written by a journalist giving a completely false picture of Donald as competent and successful. The journalist has openly disavowed it. We should actually be reading Mein Kampf.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        And The Art of War, Generalissimo Bannon’s mostest favoritest book.

  • CatCafe de la Resistance

    Demonizing even the children was a real specialty of the Nazis. Goebbels would be proud. I am suffused with hatred at the weak, fragile, awful, hateful assholes who support this.

  • Verena Block

    It’s the kid’s own fault. If he’d have had the sense to remain a fetus, he’d have had all kinds of rights.

  • Mike Steele

    This will all get sorted out quickly. Chris ‘Bridgegate’ Christie spent a YUUGE amount of time with Brian Williams tonight, reiterating that Donald is a saint, who was “ill-served” (a phrase he repeated repeatedly) by “whomever” was actually responsible for this goatscrew. MAN THE HARPOONS, BANNON – the great white whale is after your job, boy.

  • Christina

    If we don’t stop Illegal Immigration (read: immigration) how are we to preserve Traditional American Values? What we need is a freeze so we can be left alone to Make America Great Again. White people are slipping, they need to recover control of the country before we allow in more minorities to subjugate. You know who else has a near perfect travel ban (with the exception for religious pilgrims)? Our great friend Saudi Arabia! Except they don’t make excuses for their true goal: prevent the decadent influence of forgeiners from defiling their cultural superiority. In a nod of respect we leave them of our list of places where evil spawns (and is carried by Radical Islamic parasites to infect righteous God fearing America). You’re not too bad Saudi Arabia! Great minds hate alike

    • Jason Hawken

      you wrote this sarcasticly right? if you didnt this is the exact same kind of hate speech terrorists use against the USA. its about time the USA realizes we all live together on a planet and need to work together rather than trying to hoard wealth at the cost of everyone else

      • Christina

        Oh God no! Sarcasm would be quite rude and dishonorable when talking about our government. I meant every word I said, especially Traditional American Values. My friends, the royal Saudi family, they get what I’m saying. We should take a lesson from them on keeping folks law-abiding. I propose that anyone who does not fervently believe in the Values (as defined by God’s Mouthpiece Donald J. Trump) must be stoned, beheaded, and executed by a firing squad. After that crucified, of course. Because that’s what we do to people who dishonor Jesus by defying Trump. (crucifixion after execution – Now that’s what I call a strong statement! You’re the best King Salman!)

Previous articleThat Time Jeff Sessions Asked Sally Yates If She Would Follow An Unlawful Order And She Was Like ‘Nah’
Next articleHi There, Susan Collins! Let’s Turn Your Sane Thoughts Into Concrete Action!