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Calm and collected
Calm and collected

On a weekend of mass protests — like, ACTUALLY YOOGE — over Donald Trump’s racist Muslim ban, and as we also learned that Trump decided to kick all the professionals out of his NSC and replace them with the goons he has masturbatory fever dream threesomes with at night, Kellyanne Conway went out to do her usual hustle, lie-yelling at the Sunday shows about everything is GREAT JUST GREAT in the Trump administration, and we are all haters for not bowing down to Trump’s historic greatness. And oh boy, did she ever do her job! We are, of course, assuming that “her job” is to cry and complain about how LAST WEEK everybody made fun of her for saying “Alternative Facts” on “Meet The Press.”

On “Fox News Sunday,” host Chris Wallace asked a very simple question about Sweaty Gargoyle-In-Chief Steve Bannon’s statement that the media should “keep its mouth shut,” and Conway spun it out of control by saying Bannon just means the media should listen to America MORE, dismissively sneering, “I work with him every day, I know what he meant.” Yes, Kellyanne Conway is up close and personal with President Bannon, knows what vapors waft from ‘neath his glazed armpits, and is therefore qualified to know what he’s really thinking. Doesn’t mean she’s not lying about it to America, of course.

But the fun really started a few seconds later. (Start a little after the 14-minute mark.)

Who’s cleaning house? Which one is going to be the first network to get rid of these people who said things that just weren’t true. Talk abut fake news! Talk about alternative facts! What happened last week? I went on three network Sunday shows. I spoke for 35 minutes on three network Sunday shows. You know what got picked? The fact that I said “alternative facts.” Not the fact that I ripped a new one to some of those hosts …

Please report on things the way Kellyanne Conway remembers them, as opposed to focusing on that time she literally said the Trump regime is officially lying to the American people by presenting “alternative facts,” when the actual facts don’t align with the regime’s plans. And if you don’t do that, Mr. and Ms. Mediapants, you should be fired, or at least keep your mouth shut like President Bannon said.

Now, Kellyanne Conway didn’t win Miss New Jersey Blueberry Princess by being rude and uncouth, so she notes, “I’m too polite to call them by name,” referring to the analysts and pundits and bloggers who talked smack and failed to note her rhetorical brilliance and instead lied by focusing on her yammer-schmammering on about “alternative facts.”

Then she talked about how, due to this meanness by the press, the Trump team is bleeding from its wherevers every day, just like Jesus we guess:

And yet we deal with him every single day. We turn the other cheek. If you are part of team Trump, you walk around with these gaping, seeping wounds every single day …

They should get their Obamacare doctors to check that out!

It’s OK, though:

 … [T]hat’s fine. I believe in a full and fair press.

I’m here every Sunday morning. I haven’t slept in a month.

Poor thing. Lying all day and night, trying to convince the 36% of voters who still approve of Trump that he is a good and smart man, doing good and smart things. Meanwhile, she’s not sleeping, she’s eating nothing but York Peppermint Patties and Funyuns, and unless this photograph has been #AlternativeFacted by #FakeNews, girl is biting her fingernails down to the quick. They actually look infected?

Not pictured: ALL THE STIGMATA
Not pictured: ALL THE STIGMATA

Anyway, Kellyanne Conway believes in a “full and fair press,” you know, the kind that remembers to tell America all the GREAT YOOGE THINGS Trump is doing, like the executive orders he’s signing and his nice meetings with Theresa May and whatever, things nobody knows about because the press hasn’t said a word.

And if we’re not willing to do that, we should just keep our mouths shut.

(BUT SERIOUSLY, BITING YOUR FINGERNAILS LIKE THAT IS UNHEALTHY AND YOU COULD GET GANGRENE OR YOUR WHOLE FINGERS COULD FALL OFF PROBABLY IF YOU KEEP BITING THEM LIKE THAT.)

Sorry, we were supposed to be shutting up.

(BUT SERIOUSLY, ALSO TOO TAKE A NAP AND STOP LYING AND BEING A TERRIBLE PERSON, KELLYANNE CONWAY, AND ALSO FUCK PRESIDENT BANNON AND HIS SHOW PONY “PRESIDENT” DONALD TRUMP.)

Shhhhhh. Ain’t nobody here but us chickens!

[h/t PoliticsUSA]

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  • TJ Barke

    This is what you signed up for when you glommed onto what will be the worst administration in US history, KaC.

  • UnsaltedSinner
  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Evan: I heard you were sick. I’m sick at heart, though you probably had an actual fever. Nice to see you’re back.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    Welp, she can always fall back on her stand-up comedy career.

  • Chadwells

    Cunt cunt Cunty McCuntface. I hate that Jersey fucking trash so bad it hurts. I would never put into writing the horrible shit I fantasize about happening to this shitbreath cunt.

  • Tallmutha

    Jesus, Kellyanne, you look like hell.

    Oh, and “We turn the other cheek”? Ur turning it wrong.

    • Shibusa

      Kellyanne Conjob cannot stop talking about the election. What a whiner.

  • Shibusa
    • Alternative Pony Ron

      There’s the America we know and love!

  • o’look Skwerl!

    I have a feeling she won’t be invited to too many more talk shows.

  • weejee

    Since the Senate must try Presedente Mr. Tee, write yer Congresscritter to start the bill of impeachment today, this minute, this very second.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Deplorable.

  • Anna Rompage

    Wow, not only is Kellyanne’s soul more dead than her hair, it appears it’s even more dead than her fingertips too….

  • MynameisBlarney

    As I said in another forum…

    She looks like a starving vampire.

    • Creepoman

      Two quart of fresh infant blood, stat!

    • Sardonicuss

      She’s transitioning from rat blood to the virgin refugee blood Bannon is supplying her with. These things take time.

    • Bmaccnm

      As I said in another forum, at 50, you have the face you’ve earned through your choices in life. Looks like KellyAnne has some atoning to do before it’s too late.

      • FigaroPho

        Seriously. I was stunned to learn she’s only seven years older than me. She looks ten years older than my mother. Then again, my mother isn’t a racist psycho whose dead soul is rotting her from the inside out so…

      • melina1222

        It’s too late.

  • Vecchioivan

    I need more soma.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    I spoke for 35 minutes on three network Sunday shows. You know what got picked?

    Don’t worry KaC, you will be remembered for something bigger than coining “alternative facts”.

  • Peppermint patties and Funyuns diet LIBELZ!!!

  • Tallmutha

    Maybe Assmouth has ordered all his minions to chew off their fingernails to make their fingers look shorter and thus, his longer by comparison.

  • This will be so much easier once Mother Russia helps the GOP win another state legislature and call for a Constitutional Convention to get rid of some of those outdated amendments.

  • ServantToTheStars

    Bob McDonnell’s wife Maureen had infected looking nubs like that. Time for some Lee Press-Ons, girl.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “You think my fingernails are bad, you should see my toenails. #secrettoenailbiter”
    — Kellyanne Conway

    • Mr. Blobfish

      That’s from clawing her way in and out of the crypt.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Must…Resist…Posting…Toe Fungus pic…

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistant

        That was my first idea but settled on the Velociraptor hands instead.

  • goonemeritus

    LEAVE KELLYANNE ALONE YOUR LUCKY TO HAVE SOMEONE LIKE KELLYANNE LYING TO YOU!!!!!!!1111!!!!!!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    The failing New York Times should feel free to lay off David Brooks, Tom Friedman, Ross Douthat, and Maureen Dowd.

    • Sardonicuss

      Now there is a long overdue “housecleaning”.

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      It would save them ever so much money and stop them from failing. Win-win!

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    “I’m too polite to call them by name, but you can be goddamned sure I’ll be there in the reeducation camp to shove bamboo splints under their fingernails and administer electric shocks to their genitals”.

  • BigBoppa ~ Résistant
    • Srh

      Lol

  • Painter of Goats

    Sorry Kellyanne, painting a rosy picture of the Trump circus is your job. Pointing out it’s multitude of fuck-ups is the job of the press. Stop confusing the two.

  • goonemeritus

    I’m starting to think my Jill Stein supporting friends might have been wrong when they said there was no difference between Trump and Clinton.

    • Wild Cat

      I had Jill Stein–supporting friends—I had to water them twice a week.

      • goonemeritus

        Leave them out on your porch, if the winter doesn’t get them the stray cat urine will.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      That’s just crazy talk! I’m SURE Clinton would have instituted a religious ban, dismissed the generals from the NSC, and tried to outlaw abortion, in her first week. This week she probably would have nominated a nut from Alabama to the SC and commenced plans to nuke North Korea because they called her “fat”.

    • Little Lulu ResistanceFighter

      That’s the very first thought I had this morning.

  • Lucas Foxx

    That ” gaping, seeping wound” is Trumps America. You built that.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Is this the same woman who was calling Trump a “con man” a “liar” and a “fraud?” I believe it is. She’s obviously schizophrenic, and needs help. Someone lock her up!!!!

  • Michael R
  • Martini Ambassador

    Interestingly enough, when I clicked on this article, my music system shuffled to this Front 242 song. It could be Conjob’s theme song.

    With that skill that was hers alone
    She drove her clutches into me
    I was dumbfounded
    She was hungry
    She required me entirely
    All that’s left is here to remain
    It’s a dull and cruel pain
    That passes the ages unaltered
    Her stamp is in my heart
    I still feel disemboweled
    I clearly retain
    A blank
    The void
    The sore in my soul
    The mark in my heart
    Her acid reign
    Hot sun, global fun
    Needed action, start to run
    And that voice that was hers alone
    Still resounds in me
    She left me dislocated
    Disavowed
    And twitching
    Her rhythm is in my heart
    She inspired in me
    An acute sense of treachery

  • Mr. Blobfish

    If you are part of team Trump, you walk around with these gaping, seeping wounds mouths every single day…

  • Crystalclear12

    I don’t think she can stop lying.

    It’s her only form of communication, if she didn’t ask for them to pass the peas how would her family know she wanted the corn?

    • Oblios_Cap

      I wonder how her husband believes anything she says.

      • MynameisBlarney

        He probably gave up decades ago.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Her hands are much bigger than the gerbil paws Herr Drumph possesses!

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Speaking of loco, from Charles Pierce: “But it was the immigration order that ignited the weekend, first at airports across the country and then at places like Copley Square. I am trying to remember a time in my life where every constitutional institution seemed to be teetering on edge the way that it seems that they are now.

    The closest I can come is the immediate aftermath of the “Saturday Night Massacre” in 1973, when Richard Nixon fired Watergate prosecutor Archibald Cox, and then Eliot Richardson and William Ruckelshaus quit rather than carry out the order. That night the FBI sealed the special prosecutor’s office. Nobody was sure what side the Department of Justice was on or what might happen next. People in Washington legitimately feared that Nixon would call out the Army. (Later, of course, we learned that Nixon had sunk so deeply into alcoholic dementia that Alexander Haig and Henry Kissinger did everything but relieve him of his belt and shoes.) Everything permanent seemed to be dissolving into a foul cloud.”

    I hope Reince Priebus and Sean Spicer take Trump’s phone and pen away soon!

    • MynameisBlarney

      Oh I bet they tried once, but trump threatened them and they let it be and have to spin the aftermath.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistant

      If we’re counting on the likes of Sean Sphincter and Rancid Pubis to do what’s right for America we are truly fucked.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Well, at least we can rely on Congress! Oh…wait:

        “Paul Ryan has made it clear that he would support Caligula if Caligula’s horse promised to vote in the Senate to cut the estate tax, so he’s hopeless. Saying, as did Senators Ben Sasse and Susan Collins, that the problem with the president*’s order is that it’s “too broad” is mushy nonsense. Senator Bob Corker’s lament that it was badly drawn will not do, either. The problem is that the order is a moral and political abomination, not that it’s badly worded. Jesus H. Christ on an oxcart, syntax is the least of our problems.”

        http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a52659/trump-immigration-order-boston/

    • Sardonicuss

      As Drump’s paranoia increases, because he can’t stay off Twitter…we will see a whole slew of mini SNM’s. The circle will grow smaller and smaller.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I hope he fires Bannon soon, and Kushner gains more control, because then it will be all about graft, corruption, and stealing, which I can deal with. The assault on the Constitution is what’s killing me. It started with those shitheels in North Carolina trying not to let the elected governor take office.

        • Sardonicuss

          The deal with Drump as a Bannon puppet, with his arm up Drump’s butt…needs to become a massive meme. Drump’s fragile ego will not be able to take that.
          Notice how quiet Pence is? He was promised the job of shadow President and now Bannon has stolen the show. With the leaking sieve that they are there now, it won’t be long before they are all at each others throats.

        • Alternative Pony Ron

          I don’t see Aqualung letting Donnie get rid of him. If he tries I could see the nazi shit managing a nice little coup. After all, he’s the one who’s really in charge.

    • Mildred Broxon

      I remember that vividly. My father (a professor of Latin American History) had a very bad feeling about it, too. He’d seen it happen before.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        It’s a little different this time, because usually lunatics don’t start acting like lunatics until after they’ve been in power a while.

  • Nounverb911

    KAC talks faster than the man from Fedex….
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeK5ZjtpO-M

  • RJ (TO)

    “I spoke for 35 minutes on three network Sunday shows. You know what got picked? The fact that I said ‘alternative facts.’”

    That would be because, after that, nothing else you said could be given any credence.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    At least my fucked up hands and cuticles are the result of being a working man, rather than a shrill, pathological, soulless, hate-filled harridan.

  • Nounverb911
    • The Librarian

      I don’t think she’s that self-enlightened.

  • Slithytoves

    In all fairness to the bitch, she said, “I haven’t slept in, in months.” Still, like I give a shit. I haven’t slept in in decades. I did have a vacation three years ago, so I’m pretty privileged.

  • LesBontemps

    “I believe in a full and fair press. That’s why I use Steve’s Laundry and Dry Cleaning, where you get a full press at a fair price!”

  • stankbait

    She is becoming Jan Brewer before our eyes,
    But at least Jan tells no lies!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Is KaCa generally drunk by midafternoon as well?

    • Srh

      Exactly!! Now that you mention it! Lol

  • cheetojeebus

    So, If your senator is not answering the phone and his message machine is full-at everyone of his statewide offices. Is sending a fax effective? in the least?

    • chortlingdingo

      No idea. My lovely senators have taken to closing their public offices and barricading themselves on private properties and seeing only a handful of people. Meanwhile, the people waiting to get in are asked to leave by the owners of said private property. It’s a neat way to get around having to listen to your constituents.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        I believe those anti-abortionists showed us the way to stand near, but not on the property…

    • Srh

      How about throwing pebbles at his window?

    • Rags

      I posted some advice on contacting Congresscritters in an earlier thread here – http://wonkette.com/610977/trump-to-publish-list-of-immigrant-crimes-each-week-just-like-hitler

  • Blackest Noobs

    can the Supreme Court rule that Trump is unhinged and needs to be removed from office?

    • cheetojeebus

      It has to be unanimous of the three people below him in the line of succession? Pence, Ryan and mcdumbassfuckwadshitheadasshole. I think.

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistant

        Just wait. This has been the plan all along. Let the dumbfuck take all the blame for implementing their policies and install Pence as the Dominionist in Chief.

        • Historicat

          I just don’t see Pence getting the level of devotion Donnie gets from the base.

          • FigaroPho

            He won’t, that’s the one good thing about Pence. He’s so drab and nasty that even the fundies only tolerate him. He won’t inspire a cult of personality both here and abroad like Trump does. Same with Ryan, who is despised by almost everyone.

    • msanthropesmr

      No. Call your house rep. Their the ones who start the process.

      • Blackest Noobs

        and there lies the problem…it doesn’t look like we’ll get much help from the Republicans in Congress, even if a very few of em are stepping up and contesting Trump’s executive orders.

        and here’s the kicker, they could stop those executive orders but Trump could also veto it….and then it would take the more impossible, 2/3rd of Congress (both Houses) to override Trump’s veto.

        • msanthropesmr

          Oh, I dunno. Their cash cow just said they were against this, and one thing those Republicans like doing is sucking Koch.

          • Blackest Noobs

            the cash cows were also against Trump before the election, much good that did.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Hammer down on ’em anyway. They do respond to pressure…

  • Vicious Babushka

    “I haven’t slept in a month.”

    Trump is said to be an insomniac and get by on 3 hrs of sleep or less.

    WHEN DADDY DON’T SLEEP, DON’T NOBODY SLEEP!

    • Sardonicuss

      “Hey! I know some stuff that can help you guys get some sleep! Think it is called Fentanyl??” – MJ

      • Propofol, not fentanyl.

        • Sardonicuss

          6 of one O.D…..half a dozen of the other.

    • o’look Skwerl!

      I wouldn’t sleep either around the groper in chief.

      • Srh

        Ewwwwwww

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      Lack of sleep exacerbates dementia. Just sayin’.

    • FigaroPho

      Get in line, Kelly. A lot of us haven’t slept soundly since November 7th.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Calm down?

    Are you assholes for fucking real?

    Go fuck yourselves you ignorant, anti-American, fascist enabling motherfuckers.

    http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/trump-voters-shrug-global-uproar-over-immigration-ban-n714011

    • chortlingdingo

      This is the kind of shit that’s going to end up landing us in another civil war. Minus a few pockets, we seem to be starkly divided between the coasts and the middle of the country.

      • Mostly it’s because they don’t think it’ll impact them, and to be honest they can’t see themselves in a mirror. If I talk about areas with high drug use, deep poverty, lots of single parents, out-of-wedlock births, and generations dependent on the government dime, they think I’m talking about some inner city ghetto. I’m actually talking about them.

        • chortlingdingo

          It’s mind-boggling how deeply they’ve managed to bury their heads in the sand. They seem to think that Trump is going to bring back factory jobs that are just like the old days. But even if the factories do come back, the jobs aren’t going to be the same. The reason they were so good was because of unions, and the unions are basically gone at this point.

          • Not only that, but most of the factories are heavily automated. Look at a picture of an auto factory floor from the 60’s and one from today, and you see a lot less people – like around 80% less. The idiots in “coal country” are in for a very rude shock when it turns out that coal jobs will never return. Not because of regulations or concern over climate change, but because their coal is too damn expensive, and no one wants it.

          • Ms.Moon

            Exactly they can be retrained for jobs that we actually want to exist here in this century. The national grid needs upgrading, this is a huge job that cannot be done by machine, it’s good paying union jobs with benefits and it will not get done because Republicans are morons.

      • dshwa

        What’s interesting, for lack of a better word, is the people supporting immigration and refugees are the people who actually live in places that immigrants and refugees already are living. The places without immigrants are the places freaking out about them.

        • chortlingdingo

          I think that’s exactly the problem. They’ve been convinced that refugees are some kind of boogeyman, and they don’t see any in their own communities to refute that.

          • dshwa

            It absolutely is. They know nothing about immigrants, refugees, African Americans, etc., because they don’t live near them and never go places where they are. They also don’t live in places that terrorists would ever attack.

          • Claire

            Try telling them that. Every damn one of them is convinced that ISIS is sending sleeper cells of Syrian toddlers to Bumblefuck County, Arkansas, to blow up the Walmart.

          • Ms.Moon

            Terrorists cannot find Arkansas there is nothing in Arkansas to blow up. I live in America and I don’t care about Arkansas nevermind someone who has to get on a plane to get to America to even attempt to blow something up. Arkansas has to worry about angry white men with guns shooting them up. I live in New York so I actually have to worry about angry white men shooting people as well as international terrorists. I actually worry about shooty angry white men more.

          • CParis

            More likely to get shot in Walmart by a White toddler who grabs a gun from his mom’s purse.

          • FigaroPho

            And to give them Ebola. Remember that batshit CT?

          • Claire

            Ebola cleanup on aisle 10!

      • MynameisBlarney

        It’s the unmitigated gall of those motherfuckin assholes! GAH!

        After 8 years of their goddamn racist, sexist, juvenile ignorant shit about Obama, The Democratic Party, liberals, the ACA, Benghazi etc…
        That they voted for that fascist fuck in the 1st fucking place is bad enough…
        But when they say “calm down” when their goddamned fearless leader actually breaks the fucking law…

        Oh hell fuckin no….
        This shit will never be forgotten and it sure a fucking hell ain’t NEVER gonna be forgiven.

        • chortlingdingo

          I’m pretty sure that I read somewhere that saying “calm down” is like, step one in gaslighting techniques. It’s a way to make you feel like you must be out of control or hysterical.

          • MynameisBlarney

            It ain’t gonna work.

      • JohnBull

        The middle of the country can barely wobble through a K-Mart, much less able to to put on camo. I think the coasts will do fine.

        • chortlingdingo

          I’m more worried about those of us who live on liberal islands in a sea of red.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          You aren’t talking about my middle of the country. My middle of the country has lots of folks like me, loves dogs, kids, libraries, and reasonable approaches to life. Some of them just got a little mad, and their preachers told them Trump would appoint Supremes to get rid of Roe v Wade, and they do like babies, so….

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

      “You can’t ban everybody in the world, but I think it’s prudent considering the conditions in certain places in the world.”

      Yeah, like the fucking United States. An autocratic, criminal government, failing democratic institutions, heavily-armed religious and political radicals…

      • chortlingdingo

        I wonder if the person who said that is aware that none of the countries from which the 9/11 terrorists originated are on the ban list. And that there are Trump business holdings in those countries.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Kellyanne Conway didn’t win Miss New Jersey Blueberry Princess by being rude and uncouth

    You know, it’s funny you mention that, because Ms Get Over It actually lost the blueberry picking contest, challenged the results, and demanded a recount. eta: Sorry, she tied for first, and challenged to knock out the other winner. And it was her grandfather’s farm.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistant

      She would have won if there hadn’t been so many illegal messicans on the judge’s panel.

      • Alternative Pony Ron

        Or picking the actual blueberries.

  • Sandy Beaches

    Slightly off topic: I am taking great solace in the fact that Donald Trump is likely to spend his entire day getting into Twitter wars with all of the overrated actors and actresses who dissed him at last night’s SAG awards and that he’ll be too busy to sign any country damaging executive orders.

    • Tovarich Cock Blockula

      That is actually a brilliant strategy!

    • Jukesgrrl

      I had great hopes for the Academy Awards flipping him out, too, but at the rate he’s going we might not have them. There was chatter over the weekend about canceling in protest for the ban that would leave a nominated director Asghar Farhadi and cinematographer Hossein Jafarian unable to enter the U.S. They are the creators of Best Foreign Film nominee The Salesman. Today, Farhadi issued a statement saying he will boycott the event, which I suppose President Bannon and his puppets will assume is a win for them.

      • Sandy Beaches

        They really, really, really shouldn’t cancel or boycott the Oscars. Nothing pisses off the right wingers than when liberal celebrities speak out against the celebrity they elected to be President. Yeah, yeah, I know that since Vanessa Redgrave’s speech, celebrities have been encouraged to keep their speeches apolitical, but the times they are a-changing and not for the better.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    No one said presidenting would be this hard. Can’t they just sit back and enjoy their historic win?

  • Lefty Frizzell

    KAC needs to pace herself – the descent from smug condescension to batshit crazy has happened in a couple of weeks, and I don’t see how she can last a full four years.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Chuck Schumer choked up yesterday when talking about the religious ban. Trump says “he’s got a great acting coach. Those were fake tears.” This stupid fuck has no idea how much he’s enraging people. I know I’ve been brought to tears multiple times this weekend, and I’m not a cryer. It’s just sheer frustration and blind rage over the fact that because of the Electoral College, and a bunch of stupid hicks, we are saddled with a crazy person as POTUS.

    • Lefty Frizzell
    • VagendaofNastyWoman

      He managed to publicly humiliate and make an enemy out of a guy the Democrats thought was “too soft”.
      This is not a reality Teevee show, dickhead.

    • Vincent Ricola

      I’ve cried so much in the past 2 months that I’m wondering if I need to be temporarily medicated.

      Trump is an idiot, he may not realize but often times human beings with their souls intact respond to horror and sadness with water that falls from their eyes.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Try Grrrrr…..it takes the place of tears, and may be much more effective. Side effects may include new friends and accomplices, a sense of righteousness, and a kick-ass sense of your own worth….

        • FlownOver

          Self-medication, though, is a valid alternative up to a point. And for many Wonketeers the point is way over yonder.

        • Vincent Ricola

          I need to cry before I Grrrrr, otherwise I end up with an upset tummy.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            A good Grrrr upon arising (sit up in bed, stretch your arms) can do marvels to help you take the next step…

          • Celtic_Gnome

            But you want to wait one hour after eating before you Grrrr or you cramp up.

        • SpideySenser

          Grrrrrr has been my go-to response since the conventions. It’s very therapeutic.

      • Susan Szews

        I haven’t needed a Xanax Rx in the last three years, but this is the year I’m pondering getting it re-upped. Yep.

        • SweetDeeKat

          It helps. It got me thru November and most of January. I was stuck in a surgery waiting room inauguration day (2 fucking TV screens) and it kept me from punching people.

        • katkelly57

          Glad I’m not the only one thinking about a refill….been a few years since I stopped…I shall ponder over this.

      • Alternative Pony Ron

        He’s never had prolonged contact with human beings so he wouldn’t know.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I’ve also cried a lot. At first I thought I was being an hysterical idiot like the Tea Party morons who thought Obama was going to send us all to FEMA death camps. Now I realize my fears were totally justified.

    • JohnBull

      Here in Iowa, or as I call it “Mississippi of the North,” is much to blame. I’d leave if not for the fact I’m broke and the blue states are too expensive. I really, really hate the people running the state and the residents even more.

      • DahBoner

        Iowa is on my list of worst locations ever

      • ladyblug

        I feel your pain, here in Wisconsin!

      • Mildred Broxon

        New Mexico is a blue state, and not expensive. Poor, though. But we enjoy life.

        • Yr. Gma

          And gorgeous scenery, good restaurants and fascinating history.

          • MissNomer

            And great climate!

        • Edith Prickly

          I second this. One of my favourite US vacations was spent in NM.

      • msanthrope

        Come to Virginia, we are mostly blue!

      • formerChild

        Nebraska is pretty red, but I estimate it to be one of the saner* red states. At least the urban areas (all TWO of them) usually vote liberal.

        *…or it could be that it’s so sparsely populated that it’s easy to avoid the real Amercians.

      • Jukesgrrl

        Can you migrate to Iowa City? People are saner there.

      • MissNomer

        I left Illinois just over 40 years ago and have never regretted it. Yes, I was poor. It was worth being poor. I’d live under a bridge in a cardboard box before I’d live there again. Every time I went back to visit I couldn’t wait to leave, because of 1) the godawful climate and 2) the godawful people. Go, child; find your place and your people. Maybe it’s a blue area in a red state. They’re still relatively cheap.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I’m in the same boat. I was hoping to sell my house last spring, but it ended up needing a lot of work. I’m terrified that Trump is going to crash the economy before I can sell the house and get the hell out of here.

      • katkelly57

        A friend from Iowa told me years ago that the acronym for Iowa is….Idiots Out Walking Around.

    • Srh

      I pray for impeachment every hour. Pence disgusts me but at least I can predict what his agenda will be since he’s anti women and extreme religious fanatic. 45 is just a sick, nasty, narcissistic mess. Get him outta there before we all go down!!!

      • Jukesgrrl

        Yes, I’m terrified about what the Traitor-in-Chief will do about Jinah. Bannon wants to “bring down the government.” Does that include incendiary means? I believe Pence would concentrate of placating his base with a religious domestic agenda. I HATE THAT, but if he leaves foreign affairs alone, that’s a trade I’d be willing to make.

    • “This stupid fuck has no idea how much he’s enraging people.”

      Yes he does. It’s on purpose. He figures if he enrages you enough, you’ll just give up and start drinking, rather than turn to pitchfork-and-torches like you say you will. That was Mussolini´s gambit and it worked.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I was actually wondering today if I was willing to get my head cracked open llike John Lewis, and I decided that even though I’m a huge coward and a baby, I’m willing.

        This snowflake don’t melt.

      • SpideySenser
  • LesBontemps

    She just said that media figures critical of Trump should be fired. I’m pretty sure they teach Constitutional Law at GW, so I’m guessing Kellyanne just flunked that class.

  • Greyhame

    Listening to her when she gets really wound-up, it’s like the bullshit just made the jump to light speed.

    • Nounverb911
      • Srh

        These are great! Lol

    • dshwa

      To ludicrous speed.

      • The Wanderer

        “My God! They’ve gone to PLAID!”

    • Srh

      Lol – that was funny!

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      I’d love to play poker against her. Never seen anyone with such an obvious tell when she’s bluffing.

  • Nounverb911
    • The Wanderer

      Fluid pressure in hydrocoels on either side of the notochord.

      • I accuse you of committing BIOLOGY!

        • FlownOver

          So their policy excitement is giving them a back-stiffie?

          • BearGHAZI

            Ew

        • The Wanderer

          I admit it! Lock me in a room full of beautiful women!

        • Jukesgrrl

          Climate science is basically illegal now. Biology is likely to be next, especially given some of the stuff I’ve been hearing from the Arizona legislature.

  • folderol

    This poor woman will be burned like a match once Trump decides she’s no longer useful.

    • Martini Ambassador

      Probably true, although save your sympathy. She deserves every rotten payback that might happen to her.

      • dshwa

        I’m quite looking forward to it, actually. Pointing and laughing when it happens is the least she deserves, although it will have to suffice.

    • Niblet58

      Good.

  • Tovarich Cock Blockula

    I think she should keep biting her nails because they serve as a Mendacity-O-Meter.

    • FlownOver

      Her goal is to be sure her finger length doesn’t arouse resentment in He Who Must Not Be Named.

  • cheetojeebus

    One day soon, she’ll get water splashed on her and poof no more KAC. (I like that acronym for it’s pronounced sound, like that a cat makes when expelling a hairball.)

    • In the world of brass instrument playing to “kack” means to make a big mistake on an entrance during a concert performance.

      • cheetojeebus

        a multitude of resonances and all seem appropriate!

    • Srh

      Omg! That one stuck with me – lol- I’ve hacked out KAC about a dozen times and everyone here can’t stop laughing. There are other people here – not just in my head!! 😂😂😂😂

    • PubOption

      cack – to defecate, esp. of a child. “The babby’s caked hisself agin.”

      From Awd Aynuck’s Black Country Waerdbook (spelling approximate).

  • The Wanderer

    Loco Kellyanne Conway Is Melting Into A Puddle Of Sleepless Nights And Infected Fingernails

    Good.

  • msanthropesmr

    She’s only a little older than me. I don’t look that bad do I?

    • The Wanderer

      Not at all, not at all.
      Mind you, I am wearing plaid shorts and a paisley floral shirt right now.

    • Holy crap she’s 4 years younger than me, and while I can’t be objective about myself, in comparison to other people my age she looks awful.

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      I don’t know. Do you frighten children and spook cattle?

    • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq

      I am five years older and I look five times better. Sunscreen. Buy decent products; I know you have the money. Go to a hair salon that will make your hair look like something other than pissed-on straw.

      • Lara

        I’d say maybe she’s too busy, but she had time to go buy that drum majorette outfit for Inauguration. She has an hour to go to a salon. With the money (and power–gag) she has, she could probably get someone to come to her.

      • Historicat

        There’s no product on the market that can completely hide that much unadulterated hate.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I’m only four years younger than her. And I know I don’t look that fucking haggard.

    • From what I can see of you – maybe

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      If this is how she looks now, I’d hate to see the portrait in her attic.

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        hahahahahaha

    • Niblet58

      She’s starting menopause and losing that glow and skin texture estrogen gives you (makes males subconsciously want to fuck you because you are fertile.)
      I am a full 10 years older than her and look younger. My husband asked who the 68 year old woman with the badly bleached hair is, he thought KAC was that sun tan older gal, Magda, from Something About Mary.

  • arglebargle

    She gets uglier everyday.

    • VagendaofNastyWoman

      Some women would look more attractive if they’d just let themselves go gray, and gain a few pounds- not too many, just a few. Kellyanne is one of them.

      • arglebargle

        I’m surprised in my advancing years how much a woman’s attitude and belief system affects their physical beauty. Both positive and negative.

        • Not just women – Look at Bannon and Trump

          • YES EXACTLY.

          • arglebargle

            Oh yes. But with the post being about her and my being a male heterosexican I was focusing on her. I am comfortable enough with myself that I can tell the wife if I think a man is good looking. Or at least ask her if it’s the type of man she or women in general find attractive. I’ve never needed to ask her about Bannon or Donald.

        • Lara

          My grandmother always said that when you get old, your face shows how you’ve been in life, and the older I get the more I realize it’s true. If you’ve smiled your whole life, the wrinkles on your face settle in that way. If you’ve scowled, the same. If you’ve been evil, it seems to show as well.

          And it’s not just how you’ve held your face; your beliefs and attitudes truly do affect how you age.

          My grandmother also said that when people get older they start to show their true colors because it gets harder and harder to cover it up–looking at you, Trump.

      • ViveLaRésistance

        As an older woman who gave up hair coloring and trying to weigh 99 pounds, I agree completely. You can let yourself relax without letting yourself go.

        • Niblet58

          Right around 48 (her age) something changed for me and I went from a cute thin to a haggard thin, almost over night. I saw a photo of myself looking like death warmed over and put on 5 pounds as soon as I could. I went back to looking much younger as soon as I did. KAC needs to do the same FAST or she is going to look even worse than she does now.

    • ViveLaRésistance

      And you know the ugly goes all the way through.

      • arglebargle

        exactly

    • Greyhame

      While in the corner of a forgotten old attic somewhere, there’s a painting of Kellyanne Conway that just seems to get more vibrant and beautiful every day.

      • ViveLaRésistance

        The Mad King’s entire court is a bunch of reverse Dorian Grays.

  • JohnBull

    Years of teaching as a grade school teacher has taught me that saying “shut up” to a group of people doesn’t encourage them to be quiet; it only antagonizes them and causes them to lose respect of the teacher. This is why no teacher ever says it. Just a nickel’s worth of free advice.

  • I’m beginning to think she’s an only slightly more articulate word-salad producer than Caribou Barbie.

  • Ωbjectifier

    Yes, Kellyanne Conway is up close and personal with President Bannon, knows what vapors waft from ‘neath his glazed armpits…

    Gin sweat?

    • Nounverb911

      Peggy Noonan libelz!

    • VagendaofNastyWoman

      YouTube rant “leave Kellyanne alone!” In 3…2…1..

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Worst BJ ever.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Sardonicuss

      She thinks Chris Wallace looks….salty…umm..so salty.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        So there’s really nothing there that isn’t pure horror, is there.

        • Sardonicuss

          As a shape shifting salt eater, she should assume a more appealing shape.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            You know, speaking as a fat old lady well past my sell-by date, it’s really not her face that scares me, it’s the rabid squirrel on her inner hamster wheel.

            That said, she does not look well, and as much as I may think she personally deserves it, the sight of the woman who probably clinched this for them wasting away while the dudebros grow fat does not make me feel all that great about where women stand in Trump’s America even if she’s OK with it herself.

          • Sardonicuss

            If I believed in souls….I would say her’s is making a mess trying to escape.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            I think they all are rotting from within. And all I can say to that is, “Where did I put those leftover fireworks from last July?”

    • rachelmap

      Naw, that’s Susan Estrich from FOX News.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Kellyanne Conway___ starring in: “The Devil Wears Pravda.”

  • Mike Steele

    Lady MS here: KaC Is a gaping, seeping wound, and Evan is the ONLY one who can make me laugh instead of gagging at the thought of her.

  • Rags

    .

    • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

      ,,

      • Rags

        !!

        • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

          **

  • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

    How is that woman 50 years old? Does she have something against sun block?

    • VagendaofNastyWoman

      Those society social x-ray blonds don’t always age well. It’s important to maintain a good weight for health, but extreme thinness isn’t the boon that some people think.

      • zuzu

        At some point, you choose between your ass and your face.

        She chose … unwisely.

        • VagendaofNastyWoman

          I went the other way- and kind of went overboard. Not sure that was wise either.

          • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

            As long as you do squats to keep it firm.

        • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

          Which is which with her?

    • Lara

      All comments on attractiveness aside, she’s aging, like, a year every week.

      • Lambsendbeds

        Reverse “Portrait of Dorian Grey” effect. All her evilness shows on her face.

      • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

        That’s the way is looks to me. What kind of stress does someone have to be under to look like that?

    • MynameisBlarney

      You’d look like that too if you’d sold your soul.

      • Niblet58

        She was born without one.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Kelley-Anne reminds me so much of a woman I used to know, who used sex unilaterally in a no-ethics manner to build her career. I lost track of her, years ago, but she always seemed like one of those bought women back in the days of bought women. I think she has no idea really, anymore than Bannon or other game-players, of the nature of what she’s doing…I’m betting on a spectacular crash and burn, and would guess that, despite her marriage and kids, she’s still on a stupendous series of mini-sex relationships with folks in the Trump administration, which is the basis of her relationship to power…

  • Nounverb911

    Also slightly OT, but KAC can answer the question for trump….

    https://twitter.com/jimsciutto/status/826097943254024196

    • Suttree

      Well, they are a minority religion in those countries, sooooo…….

    • ViveLaRésistance

      I hope they make him say it out loud. That will enrage his nazi base.

    • Ducksworthy

      And as everyone knows, circumcision prevents you from being a terrorist.

    • SayItWithOtters

      Nah, those guys might start whining about the Holocaust Day statement. Drag.

  • Mavenmaven

    She has to cut her nails that short to avoid doing damage to Trump’s rectum.

    • Bill D. Burger

      …..and drinks massive amounts of water so she can shower him with ….. attention? ___ gold?

  • Carpe Vagenda

    What I find kind of bizarre is that Bannon is so obsessed with throwing red meat to his storm troopers that he’s pretty much torn through every fig leaf in the place at this point. Why even bother to have tokens if you’re going to ritually demean them at every opportunity?

  • o’look Skwerl!

    I see the butthurt over Starbucks has started again.

    • MynameisBlarney

      What?
      That Charbucks coffee taste like burnt waffle house coffee??

      • keenanjay

        To each his own. I drink and enjoy both and won’t be shamed!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Aw, has the invisible hand triggered them again? What, do the refugees not have jesus printed on them?

    • Bill D. Burger

      They refused to put Trump giving birth to Jesus on their cups?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        they committed to hiring 10,000 refugees as an answer to Donnie’s BS ban

        • MynameisBlarney

          Nice.
          I guess I should stop hating on them…

          • ViveLaRésistance

            Me too. I guess it’s true that an organized resistance requires some unholy alliances. We prolly better get used to it.

    • mackafritz

      As if trumpazoids actually visit Starbucks.

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        Sure they do…I’m continually having to elbow dickheads in “MAGA” hats waiting for their half-caf skinny lattes made with soy milk and sprinkled with Madagascar cinnamon out of the way to pick up my coffee.

        • Phoenixdoglover

          Well you know, if they only stocked Slim Jims.

  • DahBoner

    In Russia, dead journalist very, very quiet and listen good.
    https://media3.giphy.com/media/7wiHbenhFYKcg/200_d.gif#3

    • Msgr_MΩment

      MY BRAIN HURTS!!

  • MynameisBlarney

    That moment of clarity…

    So…any bets on how many repub bastards will make it through with their careers intact?

    https://politicalwire.com/2017/01/29/clarifying-moment-conservatives/

    • Martini Ambassador

      So far, Lindsey and McCain seem to be the only ones with any sort of conscience left. And honestly, I’ll be surprised if McCain holds fast, since he does tend to fold like a house of cards.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Walnuts is just posturing for the press. SSDD

    • Lambsendbeds

      Sadly, I’m afraid it’s AOT,K.

  • Martini Ambassador
    • Bill D. Burger

      Every day is “Opposite Day” in Trumplandia!

      http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/hh.gif

    • Carpe Vagenda

      So evangelical christians are no longer welcome?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Don’t forget about the southern baptists.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I’m just saying, if there’s a cool with teh gai requirement, there are going to be issues with the base.

    • TheAmazingBeardedLady

      Maybe he meant to say, “Travel ban intended to protect America for bigots.”

  • Zippy W Pinhead
  • Marceline
    • And crazy Bette Davis still looks younger

      • Vincent Ricola

        More sane also too.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Kellyanne is determined to make the media shut up and eat their fuckin’ parakeet.

  • The Librarian

    Ms. Conway is the living embodiment of the subliminal mind-fuck America.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      American Idiot Libelz!!11!1

      • The Librarian

        I know, but it had to be said. Nothing else works as well.

  • azeyote

    talk about ripping them a new one – well she has been ripping quite a few lately and yes Kellyanne they stink – also you look and act like a low life speed freak on a 30 day run, so you aren’t much of a reliable expert of what’s real –

  • Lambsendbeds

    Sorry, just can’t watch the vid. I can’t stop looking at her underbite and her empty soulless eyes. She should fire her orthodontist, her stylist and her make up people.

    • Todd Resistor

      She’s not about looks, she’s about substance.

      Just what that substance is, I leave to the gentle reader to figure out.

      • At the crossroads, stay strong

        More like substance abuse.

      • Phoenixdoglover

        Fire up the Mass Spectrometer.

    • Mildred Broxon

      And her exorcist. It isn’t working.

  • GrunkaLunka

    If I may be so catty… I am a mere 2 1/2 months younger than this woman, but she looks like she has about 10 years on me. I mean, wow. I guess being on the dark side takes its toll.

    • o’look Skwerl!

      Faces of Meth.

    • It’s called “Sith Corruption” in the Star Wars: The Old Republic… The more evil you are, the more it shows, literally…

      http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/8/87674/2996145-dual.png

    • Niblet58

      I am 10 years older than she is and look 10 years younger, for fuck’s sake. Being vile to your soul shows on the outside quite quickly (look at how horrific Plain has aged over the past years).

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Last ten minutes of prom is a nickname that I like.

  • Sardonicuss

    Also, has everyone noticed how no Trumpian spokes fiends ever make an appearance without threatening the press, individually, collectively…down to Omarosa for gods sake?
    At what point will even the toadiest amoungst them (Shuck Todd..lookin at you) finally say:” …and with that threat, this will be your last appearance on this program.”

  • Shoto
    • katkelly57

      Too bad one of those voices doesn’t tell her to, “Dump da Trump”.

  • natoslug

    “Hasn’t slept in in months”, not “hasn’t slept in months.” So basically, she’s saying she’s had to be a fucking adult with a job, and her life is incredibly difficult. As difficult as my life, actually, as the fucking cat starts screaming and climbs on my head if I try to sleep in rather than get up and feed it.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      She can always go back to being an insanely rich SAHM and raise her own children instead of working multiple jobs and running a company. I understand that’s a thing for Republicans.

      • natoslug

        I wouldn’t want her anywhere near children. In a field scaring off crows? Yes. Near children, puppies or kittens? No.

  • beavertank

    Caged animals will periodically chew their own paws down to the bone… so… maybe she’s being held hostage by the administration just like everyone else they “employ”?

  • At the crossroads, stay strong

    Am I the only one thinking she’s looking more and more like a meth addict? Her cognitive impairment certainly suggests that.

    • o’look Skwerl!

      It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

    • As she says she gets no sleep …

  • Johnatx

    So, should her nickname be Bullshit Barbie or Cruela Deville?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Sewer Rat Barbie

    • natoslug

      I’m partial to “Another Asshole Who Isn’t Given Airtime.”

    • TJ Barke

      Cruella DeShille.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      SweatyAnne ConJob.

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

    “Luckily for me, having a soul is not a requirement for working in the Trump administration.” – Everyone who works in the Trump administration.

  • DainBramage

    According to Wikipedia, York Peppermint Patties are now produced in Mexico. Shame, Kellyanne! Shame!

    • Khavrinen

      Guess Trump’s gonna have to tell her “You’re Fired.”
      Oh, darn, I’d be so disappointed if that happened.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Oh look! It’s the White House dream team….the A-Team: A bloodsucking nightcrawler (Mike Pence); a perverse murderer who haunts your dreams (Jeff Sessions or Mike Pompeo ); a dark, brooding evil fucker who tries to choke the life out of all that’s good (Steve Bannon); and a crazed, mindless, face melting insane fucker ready to take a chainsaw to everything in his path (Trump).
    (Feel free to scramble and re-label em’! Big Fun.)

    http://www.lovethispic.com/uploaded_images/42311-Monsters-Skipping-In-Field-Gif.gif?1

  • What happened to that whole thing where “the media” was just going to stop booking her? That would be nice, they should bring that idea back to the table.

    • Sardonicuss
      • We need Paul Anka to write us a song that will make the whole Trump Administration go away…

    • Sardonicuss

      In all seriousness, Its not like MTP, or This Week..or whatever Fox barfs up Sunday mornings ratings could get any lower.
      In fact, I think the episodes where they announce it might give them a kind of “Network” -y bump.

    • At the crossroads, stay strong

      How about everybody calling her on her bullshit? Keeping at her until she actually answers a question without deflecting? Having a game show ‘wrong answer’ buzzer go off every time she lies? Wouldn’t that be fun?

      • Usedtobeyellerdawg

        I don’t think she actually knows how to just answer a question without deflecting. I think if you asked her if she wanted a doughnut, she would go off on the same tangent.

    • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

      I think that’s why she is angry. They threatened her.

    • Thaumaturgist

      If the media stops booking her it will feed the narrative that the lying media is not willing to present both sides. It would be a mistake the stop booking KaC in the same sense that the Muslim exclusion order is counter-productive in combatting terrorism. We have to repress emotions and do this the smart way.

      • If they’re going to book her, they have to call her on her bullshit, they can’t just let her spout garbage for the unwashed masses to consume on their teeveeboxes.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          They need to say, “That’s a lie,” every time she lies, and cut off her mike so she can’t talk over them while they explain the actual truth. Then give her a second chance to tell the truth, then when she doesn’t, say, “That’s all the time we have for your lies,” cut her off for the week, and spend the rest of the time explaining what she lied about, why, and how they know it’s a lie.

  • Prismo87

    As Ian Schoals once put it:

    Take a nap.

  • Nounverb911
    • Wren1

      That is it exactly!

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I actually scared to click to “See More” on that image because I wasn’t entirely sure where Bannon’s hands were going to be.

  • OrG

    So,who cracks up first,rinse,sphincter or sillyanne?

    • Nounverb911

      Drumpf.

      • OrG

        Okay,next?

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        I think he’s already cracked up. The others are cracking up trying to keep the fact under wraps.

    • Wren1

      Bannon will have them medicated to control them. What does Steve Bannon have on Donnie J?

      Bannon is the brains behind the regime. He’s ground zero

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Dead girl or Live boy?

        • Sick_Pleasure

          Probably a threesome!

    • Mildred Broxon

      Who could tell?

  • Msgr_MΩment

    My mom said that if you couldn’t say something nice about some ghoulish, soulless twuntwaffle, say nothing.

    • Wren1

      sweet mom

  • Bill D. Burger

    Not to be to petty, but KC’s eyes are so shifty. Often one blinks while the other doesn’t. WTF __ It isn’t a wink or a facial tic??? Puzzling.

    Perhaps it’s the fly buzzing around in her cranium?

    http://blogfiles.wfmu.org/KF/2013/06/05/blink1.gif

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Anybody here speak Morse Code?
      Semaphore?

      • Phoenixdoglover

        Me me me!
        Left eye: dash dash dash (letter O)
        Right eye: dot dot dash (letter U)

        OU

        Got me. Could be like those LEDs on a small appliance. Like “Battery Low” or “Undefined Error – See Page 9”

        • Amy!

          Ah, but that’s because you’re missing the right ear. One long dash: T.

          It’s a cry for help.

          • Phoenixdoglover

            dit dah dit
            dah dah dit dit dit dit dit dit dah dah

            *thinks, where did I put that code oscillator, and did I just come across as a huge nerd?*

    • MizzMazz

      Misplaced Botox shot. When they get them wrong, it really fucks up the face.

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

    I think Josef Goebbels would have handled Wallace’s questioning more professionally – and he would have looked better than KaC did, to boot.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    Me to KaC: “Are you the stupidest shit alive or do you just not have a soul?”

    • Sandy Beaches

      Why do you consider those to be mutually exclusive?

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        Well, no……

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Isn’t AOTK appropriate?

      As I recall my times back during the Salem Witch Trials, women who had ragged fingernails were assumed to have let demons chew on them. Just speculatin’.

    • At the crossroads, stay strong

      Simple answer, yes.

  • ViveLaRésistance
    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Rep. Chaffetz’ upcoming investigation also too.

    • Rags

      Hostess snack libelz!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Well at least this post doesn’t have Steve Bannon’s fugly mug on it, so there’s that.

    • natoslug

      I like the twitter description of him — “It’s like a rash fucked a bigger rash.”

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Ye, it’s fugly indeed.

  • Amelia

    Guys, I’ve figured it out! If Pres Bannon is on a path set up for Donnie to piss off as many people as possible, including people previously on their side, then let’s help! We just have to manipulate Donnie into pissing off the NRA and voila, all of the Repub congress critters will have rifles shoved up their asses to replace their missing spines and we’ll have impeachment hearings within the month.

    • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

      Which reminds me. Has anyone heard from those Oath Keeps recently?

      • C4TWOMAN

        I’m wondering about the Sovereign Citizens and Freemen. I have no doubt they are full of people who actually believe that shit. But also too IMO the leaders of those “movements” were only ever organizing to recruit for the alt right. Expect to see the leadership very very quiet about the way things are going.
        It would be interesting if the rank and file went off message….

        • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

          Nah. Those groups were always about resisting Obama. I expect the entire movement to be quiet about Trump because they were never interested in the rights of all citizens. They only wanted to signal to Obama that the police were not going to protect him.

    • grumpy

      Young lady I think you’re on to something

  • Nockular cavity

    I don’t know how everyone else feels, but fuck New Jersey blueberries!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      funny they always leave out the detail that the blue collar waif’s summer job was on grandpa’s kinda big farm…

    • Vicious Babushka

      Fuck them with Baltimore crabs

      • Didn’t you catch get them from young ladies on the quayside in Victorian times?

  • At the crossroads, stay strong

    Since I am just not ready to read anything about Herr Reichsführer Bannon before sleep, this will do it for me for tonight. Giving the kitties their late-night snack is of far greater importance in the grand scheme of things. Nieder mit dem Scheißkopf Bannon! Stay strong, my good Wonketeers and stay sane.

    おやすみなさい from Mangaland.

  • Shibusa

    Slightly O/T but liked this NYT comment
    Cathy, Hopewell junction NY:

    Of course the decision to “extreme vet” people from Iraq, Iran, Yemen, Syria, Libya, Sudan and Somalia will prevent terror like 9-11, Boston Marathon, Pulse, San Bernadino, Minnesota Mall, which were perpetrated by Egyptians/Saudis, an American hailing from Kyrgzystan, an American from NY living in Florida, an American and his Pakistani wife, and a Kenyan who traveled here when he was two.

    By all means use good sense and intelligence in our immigration and visa policy. But don’t expect Trump’s action to keep you safe. Bad people spring up from all over, including right in our own backyard.

    • At the crossroads, stay strong

      They even get ‘elected’ president.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      They rent their Ryder trucks and buy their chemicals in the heartland, and don’t turn anyone’s head at the Mid-Kansas Co-op store.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I thought the Boston Marathon was two Chechens-turned-Americans?

  • azeyote

    i wonder how long they can play this whole – the media got the election wrong, so they’re just the fake news thing on everything – that seems to be the line that comes right before the administrations whining and lies begin – i noticed the today show basically agreed

    • C4TWOMAN

      I’m wondering how long they can delude themselves they’re supported by a majority after the capitol was literally occupied by an army of women.

      • artem1s

        and scientist, and people who have lost their healthcare, and immigrants, and Jews, and LGBTQs, and National Park Rangers, and jeebus on a cracker, how long till the general strike happens?

  • Shibusa

    Whoever does Kellyanne’s hair and makeup must be a secret Democrat.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      The hair looks like someone at least took a curling iron to it recently. I mean, it’s a step in the right direction.

    • Manhattan123

      That’s what happens when the gays want nothing to do with you.

  • laughingnome

    She just spouts lie after lie and the fatherland Goebles it up.

  • Phoenixdoglover

    Hey meme generators… KaC is Whack!

  • AngryKatie

    You know what else stress can cause?
    Confusion, defensiveness, lying, feelings of worthlessness, your hair to fall out…Whoops, too late.

    Also too, ulcers, shingles, hives, rashes, herpes, diarrhea…
    Hopes and prayers Kellyanne. Hopes and prayers.

  • Nasty Candy Apple

    Hey, Kellyanne — Trump is stupid and his face is stupid. Also, he has stupid hair.

    Come at me.

  • Usedtobeyellerdawg

    Did she actually complain that the media was ignoring “women who have no insurance” in her rant? Is that an issue that this administration is addressing? By that I mean, trying to make better instead of worse.

  • Edith Prickly

    If she’s looking for sympathy, it’s in the dictionary after “shit” and “suicide.” Also after sly, stupid, and suck.

    • Alan

      Suicide by votes.

      • Edith Prickly

        I’ll settle for career suicide.

        • Alan

          Too slow.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Not at this rate.

  • Bitter Scribe

    I have never, ever seen a bunch of politicians scream and whine about “the media” like this bunch. Not Richard Nixon. Not Sarah Palin. No one. It’s pathetic.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Well, to be perfectly fair, it’s not like the rightwing opposition to Obama ever seized on anything he did or said and then wouldn’t stop talking about it for the entire length of his Presidency. I mean, haha, THAT would never happen.

    • Pisto75666

      He was a Communist/Facist/non American anyway so, COMPLETELY different.

    • Crank Tango

      57 states libel!

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        You didn’t build that!

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Who knew being gratuitously nasty and pathologially soulless takes a toll on the body in the same way meth addiction does.

    • Alan

      It is both.

  • chicken thief

    “Shhhhhh. Ain’t nobody here but us chickens!”

    GPS co-ordinates, por favor….

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    the 36% of voters who still approve of Trump

    I’m genuinely impressed: I thought it would take a few months for his poll ratings to drop that low. Well done, Donald!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/75df4474f0d7ffbf2f90b0f07f0c9b8801836ed20e7fcf348a5ca00810eb4530.jpg

  • chicken thief

    Trump may still have his 36% approval but he was the fastest to 50% dis-approval in the history of ever, Making America Grate!

    • Mitchell Reynolds

      Grating on Americans.

  • Apple Scruff

    Have you noticed that the more she falls apart, the more makeup she slaps on to try and hide her misery?

  • Krombopulous Pichael

    good. never sleep again

  • chicken thief

    From the Scientific American on slept deprevation: “…all of them showed progressive and significant deficits in
    concentration, motivation, perception and other higher mental processes
    as the duration of sleep deprivation increased.”

    The month without sleep could explain KaK’s low mental processes?

    • Wendy Belgard Hanawalt

      Never mind her–Trump brags that he goes on 3-4 sleep a night. Explains a LOT.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Yeah, I noticed that, and also he doesn’t drink alcohol. Too weird.

      • Hardly Ideal

        Ariana Huffington was on The Daily Show some months back talking about just that, and how we’d basically have a president who was drunk all the time.

  • Melinda Piette

    Why are you mocking this feminist role model???? Why do you hate Real ‘Murika???

  • Jennifer R

    You know, I could believe that she hasn’t had more than 5 hours in any given 72 hour period she sure shows it.

    And I know a dedicated masochist when I smell one. So I expect she will push herself until she very publicly unravels.

  • Crank Tango

    She just needs to catch up on her beauty sleep. About 6 months oughta do it.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Permanent sleep?????

  • Flashman

    I once had a Chevrolet Corvair that was, just about literally, held together only by body putty. KAC reminds me of it. (It’s engine was in the rear, but it didn’t lie to me as much.)

    • Alan

      And duct tape. Don’t forget the duct tape.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    And you all thought we were going to miss OneL Bachman.

    • Sister Artemis

      She does seem rather nice, and perhaps even sane, by comparison.

  • jodyleek

    Looks like KellyAnne and Jan Brewer go to the same mummifier.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I had the same thought.

    • artem1s

      that was mean, but you made me laugh!

  • Uncle Wally

    Seems to me it’s hard to get the story right if you’re only provided alternative facts. but hey, what do I know?

  • Wendy Belgard Hanawalt

    Two things: Thing1–she LOOKS like she hasn’t slept in a month. Both she and Bannon do not look at all well. He’s about a month away from a myocardial infarction, and someone needs to explain to her that trying to dress like a 20-something beauty queen when you’re not tend to make you look haggard. Thing2–We’ve got to start referring to “President” Bannon everywhere. EVERYWHERE, especially Twitter. It’ll drive Trump so nuts that maybe he’ll fire the racist douchebag.

    • Sekhmet1

      Doesn’t she? She looks absolutely dreadful, like she’s aged five decades overnight. Ghastly as she is, I don’t envy her position at all. And Bannon reminds me of the old German joke about the original Nazis: “the true Aryan man must be blond like Hitler, slim like Göring and tall like Goebbels”.

    • VagendaofNastyWoman

      Had she been smart, she would have updated her resume to say “Sold the remaining portion of my soul to Satan” and moved on. She would have been gold.
      Anyone who tries to defend Trumps lies is going to become an object of ridicule. It’s happened with her faster than I thought. Now she’s the chewed fingernails alternate facts girl.

  • Martin L

    Lying Nazi b*tch. BTW, didn’t she have the lead in the movie, “Salon Kitty”?

  • Poorly Behaved Résistanista

    AND ALSO FUCK PRESIDENT BANNON AND HIS SHOW PONY “PRESIDENT” DONALD TRUMP

    To be clear, very, very, clear, THAT is NOT the pony I want.
    Thank you, universe.

  • Scrofula

    I’d rather have the names of those hosts she “ripped a new one to.” It would explain the nails, anyway.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Yes, who did she rip a new one to? I mean, to whom did she rip a new one for? …um

      • bbayliss

        To which news presenter did she introduce a pristine, alternative orifice.?

      • BMW

        She thinks she ripped Chuck Todd a new one because she dodged his question about Sean Spicer and called him rude for calling her on it. Her righteous indignation over his demand for a straight answer was the closest our generation will come to witnessing a debate between Disraeli and Gladstone of Britain.

        • artem1s

          ah, so she ‘thinks’ she won that argument. period?

        • Oginikwe

          lol. Best snark I’ve seen in weeks.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    If I was a nightly news anchor, I’d always refer to him as “Pee-resident Donald Trump” and if someone ever called me on it, I’d just blame it on a slow teleprompter.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      PEEOTUS, FTW.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Too bad she wasn’t a cranberry princess, that coulda possibly taken care of at least one infection.

  • “too polite” ?!! She loves throwing out the word “crap” and brags about how she “ripped them a new one”. It’s been reported that at one of the inaugural balls she punched a guy in the face several times. She and Bannon both look like they’ve been rode hard and put up wet. Looks to me like the deplorables have moved into the WH.

    • Alan

      The meth doesn’t help.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Keeps her awake, though. And explains the nails.

        • Alan

          Pretty sure they’re painting her teeth too.

          • zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

            My guess is she steals her kids’ adderall.

  • Alan

    We actually have a tweaker in the WH. God help us.

    • Yr. Gma

      IKR?

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Oh! I just realized that she got a hair topper. Sarah must have called her and clued her in.

    • Alan

      I think her head is just oddly shaped.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Hair weave more likely.

  • bbayliss

    Who cares?

    • funnyfalcon

      You do, or you wouldn’t have taken the time to comment.

      • bbayliss

        Boy! I guess you got me!
        HOHOHAHAhahaha urp.

        • zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

          We cares. Go away.

          • bbayliss

            Is that the royal we?

          • zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

            The editorial we.

          • bbayliss

            Remember Ana Marie Cox? How about Jim Newell?
            Didn’t think so, maybe you should go back to the archive and compare the wit and humor in the comments to today’s.
            When “go away ” is the best you’ve got I really don’t need you.
            Sorry Rebecca, but you’ve lost me.

          • JoeChristmas

            Please report on things the way Kellyanne Conway remembers them, as opposed to focusing on that time she literally said the Trump regime is officially lying to the American people by presenting “alternative facts,” when the actual facts don’t align with the regime’s plans. And if you don’t do that, Mr. and Ms. Mediapants, you should be fired, or at least keep your mouth shut like President Bannon said.

          • bbayliss

            Well Joe, when the current occupant has the full vocal support of the KKK, has issued 13 Executive Orders in 9 days that were all written by an avowed racist, misogynist and nazi sympathizer, and what used to be your favorite web site (the smartest and funniest on the net) chooses to focus on the appearance of a third rate mouthpiece, and the best you can come up with is “mediapants” which makes “Also, too”and “a bag of lightly salted dicks” look brilliant by comparison, it’s time for me to move on.
            Bye.

          • zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

            I don’t think the editorial we needs you, either. Have a nice flounce!

          • bbayliss

            Yup, I’ll take my 38,5763 upvotes on 13,376 comments and go.

          • zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

            OUR LOSS!

          • Yr. Gma

            Is this an example of one of those toddler tantrums we hear about from Fuckhead?

          • bbayliss

            Nope, It’s the response of someone who was attacked for a two word, throw away, in the most banal manner possible, on a site he’s been visiting for years and once held dear, by someone making the specious claim to editorship.

          • Yr. Gma

            “Specious claim.” Okay…

      • bbayliss

        In the interest of full disclosure and common honesty,you need to either stop posting tired old banalities or remove the “funny” from your name.

        • funnyfalcon

          In the interest of intelligence and logic, you should delete your account and remove your access to the internet on a permanent basis.

  • bbayliss

    Her husband introduced the “crooked penis” theory as a means of identifying Bill Clinton when he was working for Ken Starr.
    She is part of the “vast right wing conspiracy” that Hillary warned us about as she and Bill were leaving office.

  • Annie Towne

    Sadly, the “gaping, seeping wounds” are only metaphorical.

  • gamera23

    Somebody in the booth – can we get a side-by-side before and after Trump view of this person (who refuses to work in the White House because she’s a good mom and oh $$ nevermind).

  • Ducksworthy

    And the Alt Facts keep coming: Fox is reporting a the Trump loving White Canadien named Bissonette who shot up the Quebec Mosque yesterday is a secret Moroccan.

  • Troll on sheriff thread.

  • gratuitous

    So unfair to judge Kellyanne Conway on her alternative facts comment. I suppose some of you also are down on young Dylann Roof for that one evening’s behavior out of the entirety of his life. Unfair!!!

    • JustDon’tSayPeriod.Period!

      Why, yes. Yes I am. And that goes triple for his mother.

  • Xenophile23

    I’d personally rather rip Conway a new one based on her incessant (and really not very skillful) lying than her appearance. Sure, she’s no fashion example, but when we rag on her looks rather than (or in addition to) her bullshit, we’re guilty of T-Rump’s own crime of constantly reducing women to their looks. I saw a headline this AM on WaPo –

    “Don’t like what a woman is saying? Call her ugly.” Similar to a recent Chi Tribune editorial. Just saying we might wanna think about the implications.

    Bannon, on the other hand, always looks like he just came around at the wrong end of a 3-week bender, and I wholeheartedly endorse mocking the shit out of his appearance, the Nazi bastard.

    • idk, if we can make fun of him we can make fun of her also too, non?
      Though I will point out that being concerned that someone might be unhealthily biting their nails isn’t exactly…rippin on anyone

      • Xenophile23

        The nails are concerning! I was referring more to the comments my esteemed fellow readers would have made if comments were allowed here on Our Wonkette, which as we all know, they are not, some of which would boil down to “fugly”. Even if it’s true (it’s true), do we wanna ride the clown car with all the wrong people? I’m fine with making fun of her BS. I’m just suggesting we may wanna think about the company we’re keeping if we make her looks the issue.

        • Yr. Gma

          She’s homely as a mud fence, as My Gma would have said.

    • lovelydestruction
      • Erala Contratista

        OW OW OW OW OW!

      • SpideySenser

        That looks painful.

    • Hospergar

      And honestly, those nails and eye bags look like the hallmarks of narcissitic abuse to me. Her references to “having to deal with him every day” give the whole please-media-stop-being-mean-to-him pleas a little more pathos. I can see exactly what being in that White House is like right now, the hiding in little-used rooms, the checking the hall to make sure you don’t run into him, the verbal assaults (if they haven’t already escalated to physical) every time he needs to make himself feel bigger. I would feel sorry for her if she weren’t trying to destroy the country. Right now my greatest solace is that Ryan, Preibus, McConnel, Spicer, and Conway are being personally terrorized.

    • lunar62

      It’s OK to comment on Bannon’s appearance but not Conway’s just because she’s a woman? Nope. Her deteriorating appearance and troweled-on makeup says a lot about the price she’s paying for being this lunatic’s mouthpiece. It’s impossible not to notice it and I have no pity for her because she’s doing it for money and power. I pity the people who have narcissists in their lives and can’t escape.

      My sister was a narcissist who made my life hell for 60 years; after my parents died I cut her out of my life forever. Narcissists leave a path of destruction wherever they go which is why I was horrified when Trump won the election. Conway deserves whatever she gets. Sean Spicer too.

  • I chew my nails.
    Just sayin. No gangergreens yet or even yuge orange pustules.

  • Jan Ness

    She really has to think about the waaaaay too much make-up she wears. It’s more than the girls in our high school show choir wear as part of their costume.

  • JoeChristmas

    Huh, she’s trying to shorten her fingers?

    • Yr. Gma

      Perhaps they’re currently longer than Donnie’s.

  • SnarkON

    Jeez, between her fingernails and Steve Bannon’s pimply, unwashed slovenliness, you’d think Trump issued an Executive Order Barring Basic Human Hygiene.

  • bumfug

    I’m pretty sure infections like that are caused by her habit of sticking a finger up her ass when she’s nervous and/or lying, which is of course all the time.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Cry me a fucking river KaC. The Russian Puppet and his ilk deserve all the scrutiny and resistance we can give them. Until you and he stop lying the press and the MAJORITY OF AMERICANS WHO DID NOT VOTE FOR HIS ORANGE ASS will have to fact check you and the Russian Puppet on EVERY SINGLE WORD THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTHS.

    AHHHHH…..CAN’T STOP YELLING11!1!!

  • Marla

    She looks like a meth addict.

    Gross.

    • davidhollenshead

      Did she use a meth addict to make her Human Skin Suit ???

    • bluicebank

      Sure, dismiss my Tiberian Bat theory.

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    Oh just shut the fuck up, Blueberry Princess.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    I’m here every Sunday morning.

    And, there’s the problem. People need to stop watching the Sunday shows if KaCa’s on. The only thing the network execs are going to understand is loss of eyeballs on their shows.

  • Man. My fingernails look kind of like that, but I type 16 hours a day and stress constantly about whether or not I’m going to be able to pay the next bill or whether one of us is going to need medical care in the next few years. I’d have thought someone who can afford expensive cat button suits would have a manicure.

    • kbbaldwin2

      I don’t know why you are worried about medical care. Trumpelthinskin is going to replace ACA with something brilliant, great, yuuuge. Any time now.

  • Verena Block

    Funny, my fingernails have looked like that too since about early November.

  • Sick_Pleasure

    Those aren’t gaping, seeping wounds – it’s a festering, ruptured, purulent abcess where there was supposed to be a heart.

    • davidhollenshead

      Wait a minute, the Lizard people have two hearts, not one.

      • Sick_Pleasure

        You are right! I should have said abcesses!

  • TheBoatDude

    If you eat your hand, you won’t be hungry for lunch…

    • davidhollenshead

      It’s not really her hand that is in question, it’s that her Human Suit appears to be broken, so some of the human tissue is dying.

    • I wonder if all females that “work” for Trump have to be constantly weighed and measured like the Playboy bunnies did. Add a few pounds and you are out. I can certainly see him whipping out his measuring tape. Ewwww.

      • TheBoatDude

        Sort of like that scene in Casino…

  • Deplorably-Despicable Trumpanzee Female.

    -_-

  • Serai 1

    Oh, for fucks’ sake. Who is forcing you to work for this horrible creature, again? Oh, that’s right. NOBODY. You jumped on this train of your own free will, girlie girl. You can jump off any time you want. So STOP FUCKING WHINING.

  • Serai 1

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7cef3b90ad3a2f5f54a1290624eb8d7bc0c3d9bf62540b42cd98eaa430161c34.gif

    Oh, for fucks’ sake. Who is forcing you to work for this horrible creature, again? Oh, that’s right. NOBODY. You jumped on this train of your own free will, girlie girl. You can jump off any time you want. So STOP FUCKING WHINING.

  • SpideySenser

    In addition to the fingernails and the possible weave, do I also see the beginnings of gin blossoms? Also, too, if it hasn’t been mentioned downs/up stream, she’s a hoofwankingbunglecunt.

  • davidhollenshead

    Her Fingernails are not really infected, it’s just that her human suit is failing to keep that human tissue alive. If she does’t get it fixed soon, her scales may become visible, when the human skin dies and flakes off.

  • Grokenstein

    One of the few joys I’ll wring out of this “administration” will be the suffering and lamentations of its assorted “winners” as they continue “winning.” Kellyanne Ratfeces sniveling about her seeping wounds (which her lord and master would gleefully mock as “bleeding out of her wherever”) is a very nice start, filling me with warm fuzzies.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkW8b-gPeMg

  • GordonGekko

    This S H I T T Y site wants me to disable my adblocker. Yeah right, F U C K OFF..

    • the fuck?

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Lots of drive-by trolls today.

        • Andy_Kreiss

          They voted in all caps.

    • Tiny kaiju

      So do it. And sod off back to where you came from.

      • GordonGekko

        F U C K THIS SITE AND F U C K YOU, LOSER.

        • HooverVilles

          1 All caps makes you seem so smaart and intelajunt.NOT!!!!11!!1!!
          2 And yet you are still here. I wonder why?
          3 Pffft !!!!!11!!1!

    • bluicebank

      I once did exactly that. But once I turned it back on, I learned there is a treatment for “crepey skin.”

      Thank you, Wonkette!

    • miss you! love you!

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    It’s like they had no idea that the POTUS is the most scrutinized and criticized human on the planet.

  • bluicebank

    Am I the only one concerned about Kellyanne’s precious bodily fluids? Seriously. Someone give her a garlic necklace already.

    • stubbornirishlass

      You are the only one concerned. :)

    • Brad H

      I prefer NOT to think about her bodily fluids as much as possible. Now someone pass me the brain bleach, please.

  • She’s almost as repulsive as her boss (if that’s even possible).

    • David Clark

      It isn’t.

  • stubbornirishlass

    Hard to tell just from this photo, but it looks to me like she is both a nail biter *and* a cuticle picker, and she is much more likely to get an infection from the latter.

  • Panika MCD

    dear K-Conn,

    I too can quote numbers, but I can also make policy recommendations to address them. you seem to like spitting them out and then pivoting to whatever hurt your widdle fee fees this week to distract from the fact that neither you nor your bosses have a fucking clue what to do about women in poverty or our public school finance system. I will tell you that in TX we also too spend billions of dollars every year on education. if that’s the case, why isn’t the US government spending at least a trillion? hmmmm?

    speaking of your feefs: “turning the other cheek” doesn’t refer to running to the next media outlet to bitch and moan about how you were treated by your last “boyfriend”. it’s about not bitching and moaning or otherwise acting out when someone says or does something bad to you. also too: Chuck Todd is not your boyfriend.

    I think the seeping gaping wounds have more to do with the STDs you guys have been passing around. go to PP and get a fucking penicillin shot. do not pass Vogue. do not collect $200 million.

    sincerely,
    Go Melt

  • ez

    I had to go google “Mrs Roper Three’s Company” because I was sure Kellyanne looked ‘just like’ Mrs Roper.

    I was wrong, my apologies to Audra Lindley, may she rest in piece.

  • Thanks Wonkette – “neath his glazed armpits” – just made me throw up a little.

  • Jo Mathie

    1.5 million Brits so far have signed a petition (at one point more than a thousand people signing each minute) to stop Trump coming over and meeting the Queen. I hope he does come over. There will be huge protests that will hurt his little feelings, and hopefully Philip will say something typically tactless while the Queen gives her resting bitch face to the orange vulgarian and subtly shades him.

  • Me not sure

    Now that Kellyanne’s got a sweet Trump propaganda job maybe she can afford to get those horrible varicose veins on her legs fixed up. Zoom in for a look. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a7c1a1ee313e13c9002ef55f03901fef5018d7648b0111943c612ce6af7a4983.jpg

    • Erala Contratista

      I’ve never seen big very close veins on someone’s shin before. Maybe her panty hose is baggy?

  • Me not sure

    Now that Kellyanne’s got a sweet Trump propaganda job maybe she can afford to get those horrible varicose veins on her legs fixed up. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a7c1a1ee313e13c9002ef55f03901fef5018d7648b0111943c612ce6af7a4983.jpg

  • Tom Krueger

    The Crypt Keeper needs to eat a sammich if she’s wants to find energy to continue spewing BS to the masses…

  • Reximus
  • joe

    Not a Muslim ban (fake news) a ban of people from 5 countries.

    India Pakistan etc.. have yoooge MUSLIM population. No prob. no ban.

    Not a Muslim ban.

    Fake news hysteria.

    Obama did the same thing 6 times.

    Fake News

    • Rex Thorne

      Are you channeling a wingnut?

      • joe

        Unbelievable. Pure and total denial by the left. One group of people is laser focused on elimination of the Jewish people… One group of people kills gays… One group of people teach how to beat your wife
        One group of people stone women to death for being raped. Say anything against these people and you are a racist homophobic xenophobic Nazi….
        Cheers

        • Maybe

          People aren’t groups. They are individuals. There are over 1 billion Muslims in the world and very, very few are as filled with hate as you are.

          BTW, if you really want to profile terrorists, forget religion or country of origin. Just go with young or youngish male. But remember that very, very few of them are as filled with hate as you are.

          • joe

            It’s a billion people and you assumed I was referring to Muslims …That’s messed up. But a percentage of Muslims, a percentage of a billion is a lot… And these horrible acts must be confronted, recognized and addressed. Any educated Muslim without prejudice will agree. If you were half as mad at these unthinkable acts performed on women and children I may respect your rediculous hatred for PRESIDENT Trump.. but shutting down any conversation on these disgusting acts performed daily in the name of virtue signalling and “islamaphobia” is not the correct way … You singled out Muslims ..You are a RACIST.

          • Maybe

            You are pretending that your meaning was not in the context of your comments. That’s cowardly. Also futile.

            And a percentage of a billion is not a lot if it’s a tiny percentage. Check your math.

            BTW, currently I’m more concerned about the unthinkable acts performed on women and children by far-right politicians at both the state and federal level.

            Also BTW, thanks for proving my point, Hate-Filled joe.

          • joe

            How do you find hate in my comments??? Omg my point was not all people in the ban were muslim. Most, yes. 21% of Syrians support ISIS. So according to Obama we are at war with terrorists and ISIS. …Unless you feel Obama was lying and there is no war on terrorists then you can get all pissy about what Trump is proposing…Also Obama had a ban on people from terrorist hot spots during his unproductive tenure.
            Please educate yourself before insulting innocent people on message boards who stand up for those who have no voice… The people who stand up for the poor, the abused, … You are a racist nazi.

          • joe

            Are you seriously more concerned about American politics then child marriage , women being stoned to death for adultery and for getting raped? Gays being executed?
            Seriously?????
            That’s messed up

        • doktorzoom

          Moron has been banhammered. Bye, Moron.

          — Dok Zoom, Yr Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator

  • Maybe

    I think that the gaping, seeping wounds are a logical result of all the times they’ve put their heads up their asses.

  • Shawn Renee Ernoehazy

    It is hard to believe we are the exact same age! It must be really hard on the body to lie for a living….

  • jangoodell

    Why has the Youtube account associated with the video been suspended? Since yesterday? I literally cannot watch it.

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