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shepard-smith-x750HEYO Wonkers! Thanks for being with us on this fabulous fast news day! Anybody else feeling a great weight lifting off them, like the next four years are going to be nonstop pee jokes and sunshine?

ME TOO! WE GOT THIS!

For this evening’s open thread, we will let Shep Smith, human of Fox News, sexplain to Donald Trump why he can’t actually Un-Person reporters even if they are from Fake Old CNN. It’s a nice moment of Fourth Estate solidarity, and of course it’s from Shep. What, you think Hannity would say that? Or (ugh) Greta Van Susteren, now blowing bile all over our dear MSNBC, what even the fuck? Nah.

And there you have it. Commence to pee jokes, FOR EVER!

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  • CindyinEncinitas

    It seems ridiculous to me, but I do feel better. I feel hope that the drumbeat of unflattering news is going to do good work for the people of Murca, for the Orange one will not be able to withstand the truth and he will run and hide at the first opportune moment, and looking forward to that makes me feel good.

  • elviouslyqueer

    “And furthermore, bitch please. Is you all the way plumb damn crazy?”

    –Shep Smith, approximately 2 seconds after this segment concluded.

  • Yr. Gma

    I love our open thread. That’s all.

  • Fun with Cthulhu

    Clownface von Fuckstick is a germophope, so he prolly vacuum seals his pee-hookers, allegedly.

    • Yes, he said that like that doesn’t open up a whole other kettle of worms… A germophobe isn’t exactly the guy I want there cheering up veterans in the hospital etc…

      • Poorly Behaved Résistanista

        He’s gonna outsource. Pretty sure that is what Pence is for.

    • Pee is sterile, no germs.

      • SterWonk

        Unless you have a UTI. The odds of which increase with sexual activity.

      • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

        I’ve heard you can actually get strep b in there.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Worth a repost, dammit.
    Inauguration poem!
    Maya Angelou read her poem “On the Pulse of Morning” at President Clinton’s inauguration. Richard Blanco read his poem “One Today” at President Obama’s inauguration. Perhaps Trump could get Garrison Keillor to read his poem “Oh What a Luxury” at his! (*I know Keillor is a liberal, but in this one case he just might do it.”

    “Oh What a Luxury”

    O what a luxury it be
    What pleasure O what perfect bliss
    So ordinary and yet chic
    To pee to piss to take a leak
    To feel your bladder just go free
    And open like the Mighty Miss
    And all your cares go down the creek
    To pee to piss to take a leak
    For gentlemen of great physique
    Who can hold water for one week
    For ladies who one quarter-cup
    Of tea can fill completely up
    For folks in urinalysis
    For little kids just learning this
    For Viennese or Swiss or Greek
    For everyone it’s pretty great
    To urinate.
    Women are quite circumspect
    But men can piss with great effect
    With terrible hydraulic force
    Can make a stream or change its course
    Can put out fires or cigarettes
    And sometimes, laying down our bets,
    Late at night outside the bars
    We like to aim up at the stars.
    O yes for men its much more grand
    Women sit or squat
    We stand
    And hold the fellow in our hand
    And proudly watch the golden arc
    Adjust the range and make our mark
    On stones and posts for rival men
    To smell and not come back again.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “There once was a man from Nantucket….”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • The Wanderer

      Yep. Disgusting, I call it.

    • Tallmutha

      No honor among cobags.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      And now they have an editorial on their front page saying Trump “nailed it” at his press conference, and that conservatives and independents won’t care about Trump’s behavior because he “cuts right through the gossip” and “rolls up his sleeves and gets down to business”.
      Jim, that feeling you now have on your back is the front tire of the bus.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Our only hope is that a few, at the least, grow a pair and/or a spine. I’m not holding my breath.

  • tehbaddr

    Seems like the Orange Shitgibbon had a busy day! I think I missed a lot while I toiled away.

    • Bill D. Burger

      A rousing, blabbering near-unintelligible news conference where, when he wasn’t comparing our intelligence services to Nazi thugs, he was, of course, whining about being treated badly by the press (while slamming the press), and whiled away almost an hour on the same old tired bumper sticker nothing nonsense he’s always given out. In other words, SSDD. You didn’t miss much, just a horrific mess and preview of the nightmare to come.

      • tehbaddr

        But Piss Hookers! Does he participate in water sports, or is he just a spectator?!

        • Bill D. Burger

          They were too damned timid to ask. Shit! I was hoping that at least they would ask the POS if he still considers himself a ‘Goldwater’ Republican.

      • puredog

        It’s really too bad that these pressers won’t be more often than quadrennial, if that.

    • eka

      I feel the same. I had a meeting this morning that lasted until 2 (well, we stopped for lunch on the way back) and come back to all this! mind is spinning a bit. didn’t check the news before work, so i really missed out.

      meeting wasn’t bad, but I felt a bit shocked that I was sitting around discussing interlibrary loan policies while all this stuff was happening and i had no clue.

  • nightmoth

    Ain’t gonna be no “four years” now, bitches, and yeah, I feel better than I have in the last eight weeks. I feel a little happy dance coming on.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      Unfortunately, his VeePee is Miracle Whip Mike Pence. I’m hoping that the Gee-O-Pee gets so acrimonious and adversarial between the branches that they grind themselves down while getting nothing much done, and Fuckface just tweetrages impotently for 4 years.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • SterWonk

      Also too, being run by the adult male spawn, is not even remotely a blind trust.

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    Apparently the British spy behind the report has been revealed. But most interesting is that anti-Trump Republicans funded the investigation. Won’t it be a hoot when THOSE names come out?!?!?!

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I’d love it if they turned out to be all of them, Katie.

    • Tallmutha

      I read somewhere that it was Jeb.

      • Lizzietish81

        I may have to clap for him if true.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Please.

    • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

      I figured the Leg had been quiet because they were craven cowards hiding and making nasty little plans to remove all the stuff the blah guy did. I think they may have been hiding and making nasty little plans to unseat the Golden Flobee

    • Roadstergal

      It will be a list of the Repubs who meet the bare minimum standards of Love Of Country And Its Occupants over cynical power grabs.

      • puredog

        Who are these alleged Repubs? I’m thinking that is one short fucking list indeed.

        • Roadstergal

          There will be a test afterwards, and it will require very little memorization.

      • FlownOver

        Nearly, if not completely, null set.

  • Why, hello, there Snakeoil Report favorite Malachai Love-Robinson. What’cha up to?

    http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/florida-teen-who-allegedly-faked-being-doctor-indicted-virginia-fraud-n705806

    • BigBoppa pour la résistance

      He has a bright future as a Trump spokesperson.

  • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

    “You don’t pay me enough for this shit. Get me a martini. I’ll drink it on the air. O.K after then. Just get me one!”

    — Shep Smith, just before going on air with this story.

  • Martini Ambassador

    Ouch, rough day for Orangeshitboggen. Tonight’s 3AM Tweetstorm is gonna be epic!

    • ltmcdies

      so is the 3 AM tweetstorm going to a presidential thing from now on….since obviously no one is calling the man

      • Roadstergal

        I may or may not have sold sexual services in the past, and if I had, I most definitely would not have gotten within a country mile of Drumpf.

        Any self-respecting hooker should know that a: he hates women and b: she won’t get paid.

      • BigBoppa pour la résistance

        If so then it should be forevermore the Fireside 3AM Tweetstorm.

        • puredog

          Will Donald be sporting a cardigan?

          • BigBoppa pour la résistance

            He always does. But he thinks It’s a hat.

      • Count Awesome

        It will be the keyboard side chat.

      • BackDoorMan

        … remember when we were concerned about a President that would be able to respond to that ominous-sounding “3 a.m. phone call”? Now we have to live in abject horror of the 3 a.m. tweet by Pee-resident Trump. I wish we could go back to the old days.

    • Begin Anew Day

      I tried to steer my Tardis over there to check it out but the turbulence was murder!

  • Gayer Than Thou

    OK, Shep – good for you, and for the moment I hope you get that MSNBC gig you’re auditioning for. But girl, we gotta talk about your hair…

    • Begin Anew Day

      Maybe he ought get one of those stylish yellow and black rugby shirts.

  • goonemeritus

    Shep seems all gravitaseee, didn’t he read the Fox style book?

  • JMP

    But that would require that Trump have respect for the norms of American governance, the rule of law and our Constitution, all of which he’s already shown nothing but contempt for. He doesn’t care if what he does is legal, and the modern Republican Congress will never even investigate one of their own party.

    • The Wanderer

      You forgot basic decency and manners.

      • FlownOver

        As did Trump.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Heading out the door, but I’ll leave you good Wonkers with this thought:

    https://twitter.com/TinaDupuy/status/818977609929396228

    • The Wanderer

      I believe the only tenable answer to that is “Who cares?”

    • Tallmutha

      Kinda reminds me of a tweet I saw today by Idontrememberwho that said something like “The Russians are going to be able to blackmail him with a tape of him making fun of POW’s and the disabled and bragging about sexual assault.”

  • The Wanderer
  • Crystalclear12

    Journalists are starting to smell the chum.
    Take down a candidate, pfft dime a dozen
    Take down a president . . . priceless.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      If today’s display was any indication, I wouldn’t put too much stock in it. They didn’t support each other at all or follow up on each other’s questions.

      • Roadstergal

        Someone needs to remind them of all of those line-toe-ing well-behaved non-investigating Nixon reporters and how we _all_ know their names these days… don’t we?

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        CNN posted a statement that blamed Buzzfeed.

  • TJ Barke

    I really can’t even, anymore.

  • Saturday Wednesday Afternoon Nerd-Out: New Species of Gibbon Named “Skywalker”, Because Star Wars.

    No word yet on whether or not the primates celebrate Life Day.

    • Tallmutha

      They wussed out by not naming it “Shit.”

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Wonkette is going to be full of piss and vinegar for the four years

  • DoILookAmused2u ?
  • Carpe Vagenda
  • Count Awesome

    At least Trump Tower won’t be open for tours like the White House is so Trump can always lock himself in his penthouse with long fingernails and jars of hooker piss.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      And used snot rags.

  • Poorly Behaved Résistanista

    Oh, fuck, it truly is an alternate universe. I mean, Fox News is defending journalists against Trump? Gonna need the Wonker with the I Can’t Even book.

  • Michael Smith

    Trying tell that to the sans culotte mobs

    • Vienna Woods

      You mean the Wonketariat, with its proud no pants tradition?

      • Unpresidented Ron

        Suddenly that tradition makes WAY more sense.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I prefer the Italian: senza culo.

  • Swampgas_Man

    To all of us who are shouting, “THIS TIME HE’S FINISHED!”, may I remind you of all the OTHER jillion times he’s said/done something that would disqualify him immediately?

    • Begin Anew Day

      People also keep buying lottery tickets, travel to Las Vegas and bet on football teams.

      Why? Because HOPE springs eternal!

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Trump is 9 days from the Urination and is more unpopular than W after all his fuckups. It’s a cumulative impact of all the idiocy, not one event, that will bring him down.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Well, we can hope for that one single little bitty straw that breaks the orange cameltoe-faced shitgibbon’s back.

    • eka

      hey, I heard a couple trumpsters the other day complaining about the fact he raged out against meryl streep. hope lives – but his final undoing might have nothing to do with his lack of any kind of decency but with something so petty we can’t even predict it.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      This is demonstrably treason, though – to collude with an enemy of America’s to bring her down from within.

  • Markuserektus

    Perhaps a snippet from a real president : “If every economic issue is framed as a struggle between a hard-working white middle class and undeserving minorities,” he said, “then workers of all shades will be left fighting for scraps while the wealthy withdraw further into their private enclaves.” (Vox)

    • The Wanderer

      Hunger Games, anyone?

    • OrG

      Pitchforks and torches!

    • DahBoner

      A bank, bricklayer and a minimum wage immigrant are sitting at a table with 12 cookies.

      The banker takes eleven cookies and tells the bricklayer “Don’t let that immigrant steal your cookie”.

  • Vienna Woods

    I’ve had a soft spot for Shep ever since his Katrina coverage. Good for him.

    • janecita

      I just said the same thing to my husband!

      • Vienna Woods

        That was literally the first last and only time I watched Fox, but he was amazing, especially when he ripped into O’Reilly.

    • puredog

      Just watched the clip. Perhaps there is hope, but I’m reserving judgment on that.

    • rebecca

      same, it was amazing.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Hey! Now at least we know where the applause and laughter came from at the presser. It was his staff and the people he brought with him. Goddamned if he didn’t bring a coached peanut gallery to respond positively to him for the TEEVEE audience’s benefit. Some thought the reporter pool was doing it. No one’s ever seen quite this kind of stunt and mini-spectacle.

    [ From TPM: “As other reporters stood up to get the President-elect’s attention, a few in Trump’s circle whooped and others clapped enthusiastically. It was bizarre.

    Because Trump’s staffers and supporters were blocked by a line of reporters crowded into the packed room, it was difficult to differentiate them from members of the press. That prompted some observers on Twitter and outside the room to believe that it was the assembled journalists applauding.]

    This shit gets stranger and stranger by the day. Next, he’ll just bring out an ‘applause and laughter’ machine and hold the controls.

    We are through the looking glass and heading for the cliff with these insane fuckers.

    • Count Awesome

      I’m waiting for a guy in Trump’s entourage to start repeating the last couple words of everything Donald says.

      • Bill D. Burger

        Like a crazy revival! Spot on.

        • Count Awesome

          Needz moar snake handling!

          • alpacapunchbowl

            I’m tempted to rewatch Elmer Gantry, but it might read too much like a horror nowadays. I think it did have a happy ending though, it’s been awhile.

          • Unhappy Fingers

            If you haven’t seen the documentary Marjoe, do. It shows how those people worked from behind the scenes.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Thanks for the tip!
            (Just the tip)
            (Sorry, couldn’t help myself)

      • OrG

        Yeah! What he said!

      • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

        All of them will be repeating “Donald Trump is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.”

      • janecita

        I dated a guy that did that, we dated very briefly.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The man’s got fluffers. What can I say?

    • Mr. Blobfish

      He’s gonna have a drummer follow him around and play rim shots at the appropriate time.

    • DahBoner

      Who will be the first to make laugh track snippets of Trump’s quotes? I bet that will piss him off.

      Use 3 proxies. 😀

  • Count Awesome

    Trump’s enemies list will make Nixon’s look tiny by comparison.

    • The Wanderer

      With the alleged pee hookers thing, one might call it “Trump’s enemas list.”

      • Count Awesome

        He just sees the common person as Pee-ons.

    • Well, he’ll start with Nixon’s, then cross the name out and write his own…

      http://www.joeydevilla.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/moes-enemies-list.jpg

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      He can make a list but he has no one left on his team with a killer instinct. The IC hates him. The Dems hate him. Lindsay Graham hates him and controls 33% of the Senate. The press hates him and is motivated to fuck him up. He only appeals to 37% of the American people. Our allies all think he’s a twit.
      I think he has to worry about our enemie’s list.

  • Begin Anew Day

    Can’t Wayne Newton perform at the inaugural festivities?

    That cat will suit up and perform anywhere, any time if the check clears.

    It’s saying a lot when Wayne Newton turns you down.

    • mancityRed6

      “…if the check clears.”
      you answered your own question

      • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

        That was epic. I salute you.

  • puredog

    Hey, Bex? You may not have noticed, but all Wonkette threads are open threads.

    • But here it’s all official. Pee jokes are on topic for any Drumpf post going forward though

    • snark-lurker

      yabut you donut have to sneaky now

    • Sister Artemis

      But some threads are more open than others.

      • eka

        you’re talking as though comments are even allowed. weird.

        • Sister Artemis

          Shhhhhh…. they’ll hear you!

    • rebecca

      but you are all being so gooooood! mostly.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Of course Mo’s gonna stand up for his fellow Alabammy buddy and say we don’t like Sessions just because he’s white, not because he’s an odious piece of garbage.
    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/819313691749392384

    • nightmoth

      Wow. Not even having to use a dog whistle anymore–that’s a bullhorn.

    • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

      War on whites? What a batshit crazy asshole. Very much like the people who elected him.

    • Bill D. Burger

      “Whaaaaaaaah’___ You’re persecuting me because you made me take my boot off your throat.”

    • Markuserektus

      “White fragility.”

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Hey. I’m white, come to think of it.
      “Help! I’m being oppressed!”

      • alpacapunchbowl

        I’m waging war on myself!

    • natoslug

      No Mo Mo. Or in the words of Mohandas Gandhi “Christ, what an asshole!”

    • janecita

      What the fuck! He actually said those words aloud?! What is wrong with these people?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        That their great grandparents were not executed as traitors in 1865?

      • BackDoorMan

        … how much time ya’ got?

        • janecita

          Not enough, I know that the list would be interminable ;-)

    • ltmcdies

      awh what the matter little pale baby….the unwashed call you and your buddy on their bull.

      it’s gonna be a long 4 years for you guys, too. To many constituents and others have phones and email now

    • Alan

      Nobody would actually say that, would they? I mean nobody in an elected office who’s not wearing a sheet and running an anonymous blog.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      You racist fuckjacks can take your “war on whites” and insert it where your disgusting bullshit is retrieved from, with extreme prejudice.
      –Old White Fart

  • Vincent Ricola

    I’m curious as to what the after hours shenanigans are looking like with all these confirmation hearings. Is someone from the Trump campaign waiting outside Marco Rubio’s office to “discuss” those questions he’s been asking? Is Rex Tillerson getting locked in a room for Kellyanne bullshit drills all night or doing blow and laughing about Russian hookers with Donald all night? I wish cspan covered that part of the game.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Actually, Rubio is trying to get in the McCain/Graham kool kidz club. He sees it as his way out of the Lil Marco debacle.

    • BackDoorMan

      … in the meantime, it would be irresponsible not to speculate.

  • Suse

    Can anyone tell me why I can’t play any video clips here? What do I need to install?

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Use a different browser.

    • Markuserektus

      Flush Player

    • yyyaz

      Firefox works well.

      • Suse

        That’s my browser. Do they have their own media player?

  • snark-lurker

    hey trix MSNBC has been in the right’s digestive tract for several years (like 8 of them) n Gretta? Phffft

  • Count Awesome

    Is Trump’s plan to destroy ISIS to make them laugh at him to death?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      He’s going to piss on them after drinking bacon vodka. They’ll melt right away.

    • anon_the_great

      Golden water boarding

    • BackDoorMan

      … it’s as good a plan as any other he’s come up with. I mean, “bomb the shit out of them” could just mean “I’m gonna bomb so badly, they’ll shit themselves laughing so hard”.

  • janecita

    My husband bought me one of those 23andme kits for Christmas, and I just got the results. I bragged for a month about how diverse and awesome my results were going to be, the reality, I’m pretty white bread.
    84.2% European
    7.9% Native American
    3.5% Sub-Saharan African
    2.4% Middle Eastern

    • Rick Hill

      Heheheh…you said ur a peean

    • ltmcdies

      still cool though…I’ve been debating about getting the Ancestry kit…maybe I should get on that before Trump outlaws DNA research

      • Hellhathnofury Demme

        Do 23andme cause there’s lots of medical stuff too.
        (In fact, personalized medicine is actually their goal.)

        • Suse

          Except that you may get bad news, which I did and am trying to ignore.

          • Hellhathnofury Demme

            I’m so sorry.
            My daughter used to work for them, and we’ve been tested, but never had to deal with any bad news.

          • nightmoth

            Don’t ignore it if there are tests you can do for it, like yearly mammogram, electrocardiogram, etc. Take care of yourself–we need you!

      • janecita

        You should do it, it’s really interesting. I found out that only 4% of my DNA is Neanderthal, so I’m assuming that I’m quite evolved;-)

    • CindyinEncinitas

      7.9% Native American is a lot, I think. Mine is only .6%. Sadface. But I came up 23.4% Ashkenazi Jewish, which is a complete surprise and we have no idea who passed it down.

      • janecita

        I’m thinking that my Native American is either Taino or Siboney (Cuban Tribes) and that was definitely a surprise. I was expecting a lot more North African, since according to family lore, my ancestors were gypsies.

        • harryr

          Gypsies, genuine Roma anyway, originated in in NW Indian sub-continent. Any of that there?

          • janecita

            Nothing at all.

          • eka

            could they have been referring to the Irish travellers, who were also labelled as gypsies but were not Romani?

        • CindyinEncinitas

          I thought gypsies were Romanian?

          • janecita

            No, they migrated to Romania, and many other places in Europe and Northern Africa. I just found out that they originally came from India, I had thought (wrongly) my whole life that they were from Morocco and Egypt.

    • Suse

      I’ve done 23 & Me and Ancestry kits. They show different results. I uploaded both to a site called Gedmatch which breaks everything down into raw data, which is overwhelming. The cool thing is it tells you specifically what regions your ancient DNA comes from and if you’re descended from Euro hunter/gatherers, Siberian farmers, etc.

      • Rick Hill

        Does it have a subcategory of ancient stoner tribes?

        • Suse

          I’ll check on that.

    • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

      We did this for all of our family. My rabidly racist father found out he is 2% African and 1% Middle Eastern. The day I told him was a glorious day.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Do you have a brother who would be willing/able to do it as well? My mum and I did the National Geographic one and they explained that without a y-chromosome they can’t access literally half the data. (I think I remember learning that you’re a woman, I apologize if I got that wrong)
      She got her brother to do it as well and we got WAY more information than what showed up on hers alone.

      • janecita

        That’s a great idea! I do have an older brother, I’ll ask him to do it, he seemed pretty interested in my results.

    • nightmoth

      Great Christmas present! I want to do that, too.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I’ve gotten so paranoid since Cheeto Satan was “elected” that I put off getting into that for fear that my results could somehow be used against me. Like, when they institute purity tests, and you’re not pure enough, will the FEMA camps be under the Walfarts or just openly right out in the desert?

    • Unpresidented Ron

      But a nice leavening of the darker flours.

  • natoslug

    It’s bad when a fake news organization like Fox calls the peeotus out for lying about what is and isn’t a fake news organization.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Is Shep one of the Fuxcritters who isn’t 100% bad 100% of the time?

      • natoslug

        He is. They had to have one integrity hire, so they kept Shep.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Ah, that’s what I thought. Makes this a little less surprising.

      • Hellhathnofury Demme

        Shep is THE ONLY Fuxcritter who isn’t 100% bad.

    • BackDoorMan

      … you say “bad”, I say “good”, because maybe there’s some hope… nah, it’s just Shep and he’s definitely in a minority there. But kudos to him for at least trying to be a serious journamalist.

  • shaar dula

    slightly OT. a guy i hired last year, just said today he was emotionally exhausted from BO’s speech yesterday. on the one hand i felt pride, on the other i remembered there was small task he was supposed to do , which he did not, i might have been gas lighted. well.. i deal with that separately.

    • janecita

      Cut him some slack, he won’t be able to use that excuse again.

      • But, he might be able to use “I watched a Donald Trump speech, I think I blacked out, but when I woke up, my head was covered in bruises and I forgot how to do math…”

        • janecita

          That is a problem, since, unfortunately, he will be able to use that excuse a lot.

  • Rick Hill

    I’m gonna go all conservative here: “If donald has nothing to hide then he shouldn’t be afraid to answer any questions.”

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Donald is terrorized by the recurring dream that he might be asked a question whereupon he would inadvertently tell the truth.

      • BackDoorMan

        … like, “how do you REALLY feel about Ivanka? It’s okay, no one will judge. She’s cool with it.” Aaaand… I just squicked myself out – no one wants to hear the answer to that question.

  • WiscoJoe

    If you haven’t already, please take a momentary break from the pee jokes to call your Senators and Representative. Tell them to:

    -Oppose Tillerson
    -Oppose Sessions
    -Oppose [shitgibbon nominee]
    -Support ACA and healthcare
    -Investigate allegations that Russia has corrupted Trump/American Democracy
    -Investigate Trump’s business dealings

    Or anything pertinent issue of your choice! Make it a weekly habit. If you’ve already called your Senator or Representative, call your friends and family and encourage them to call as well. Do you have Republican relatives that voted for Trump because they wanted to “drain the swamp” and “argle bargle globalist conspiracy corruption lobbyists out-of-touch elitists”? Join the club! I bet they’d be very happy to hear from you about how we can now all work together to oppose plutocrats like Rex Tillerson and hold the powerful politicians in DC accountable!

  • boredcatlady

    Yay! My Wonkette card game just arrived :)

    • You’re going to love it!

      EDIT: Unine for a treat! (Sorry. Couldn’t resist.)

      • boredcatlady

        From this point forward, none of us need to apologize for pee jokes, not even a little

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Yeahbut, you can only uninate one time. That gives me a sad.

    • Read the rules 6 times and watch the video. Then guess a lot. But the game is really fun!

      • Sister Artemis

        one can always default to Donna Rose rules

        • Villago Delenda Est

          52 card pickup?

      • boredcatlady

        Can’t wait to play tomorrow!

      • boredcatlady

        I downloaded the app but haven’t checked it out yet, so it might just be a link on the App Store for Russian malware. Also, plock plock!

  • I would like apologize to the commentariat for going a wee bit violent this morning. I have apologized to Dok. I am better than that, and so are we all. My only defence is a lack of caffiene

    • Ωbjectifier

      Caffine withdrawl always makes me stabby.

    • Aww. You aren’t even going to scratch my eyes out a little? You’re no fun, anymore!

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Aw, Pick. It’s cool – we all have days like that.

    • Roadstergal

      A wee bit. Topical.

    • o’look Skwerl!

      No worries we get death threats all the time.

    • Suse

      I missed all of that! You must have been in a right tizzy to resort to violence. ;-)

    • BadKitty904

      Dammit, I miss all the fun. *pouts*

    • janecita

      You are always such a pleasure though, a little meltdown won’t tarnish your awesomeness:-)

    • snark-lurker

      yeah i got spanked too

    • snark-lurker

      sumtimes just saying “votes” aint nuff

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Awesome. Are you gonna make Dear-Shit-Fer-Brains this week?

    • nightmoth

      It’s cool. I got spanked by Dok, too, over Christmas, but my excuse was too much alcohol, exacerbated by family time with Trumpanzee cousins.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        That could happen to anyone.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Understandable. I’m back on Adderall again to go with my usual caffeine. Watch out, hoofbungling cucumbercumbercunts, I’m coming!!!!1111111111111111!!!!!!!!11!

      • BadKitty904

        A fellow Addle-all-er?! Woo-hoo!!!

    • BadKitty904

      Not to fret, Pick – we all get a lil’ cranky now and then. That’s why God created crawl-spaces, if you know what I’m saying and I think you do.

    • Unpresidented Ron

      Forgiven. Forgotten. No worries, luv.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    I’ve never been to Russia, do they eat a lot of asparagus?

  • Markuserektus
    • Count Awesome

      Seems like a metaphor for the country.

  • Mildred Broxon

    British Intelligence. Well, it seems a bit–tacky–for James Bond, but here goes:

    Goldshowers
    He’s the man, the man with a heart of gold,
    That heart is cold!

    • Count Awesome

      Goldeneye, just because he didn’t wear safety goggles.

  • Alan

    That was succinct.

    • BadKitty904

      Fuck you, Trump!” is succincter.

      • Alan

        True, but FCC rules.

        • BadKitty904

          “‘Rules’ are for little people.” ~ Donald Judas Trump

          • Alan

            You’re fed up, eh?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Succinct and polite. BadKitty904 was not polite. Which is appropriate whenever one addresses Donald.

  • Ryan Denniston

    So I hear CNN is fake news. However, CNN is also “failing” (?) and no one watches it anyway (true!). So, how can it impact public perception? Riddle me that Madman!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Obviously, you cannot get your head inside the warped skull of Donald. Thank your lucky stars that this is true, it means you’re sane.

  • Picabo
  • A_Changeling

    I remember reading somewhere today that at least one source other than the pee pee dossier had confirmed the existence of Trump kompromat tapes (but not their contents), but I’ve read so much today I can’t remember where I saw it. Anyone else know? I’d go to bed (it’s late here) happier if I knew there were independent sources.

    • o’look Skwerl!

      I was hoping “kompromat” meant goat fucking. *sigh*

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Who says it doesn’t?

      • A_Changeling

        It can mean that, so hold on to that thought if it gives you comfort…

    • SayItWithWookies

      I think I saw it originally on RawStory, but The Week has a story on it as well.

      • A_Changeling

        Thanks. BBC – that’s nice & credible. Now if they could find an independent source on the contacts between the Trump campaign and the Kremlin…

    • Apple Scruff

      I saw something similar, a Tweet someone had posted over on Jezebel/ Slot.

  • Count Awesome

    When Trump resigns/forced out of office in disgrace, will Melania say “Don’t cry for me Argentina.”?

    • o’look Skwerl!

      More like, “You’ll never find the money dumbass!”

    • Picabo

      She can sing?

      • janecita

        Please, she can’t even speak!

        • geoffalnutt

          She does a mean pole dance, though. Well, not so much now. She needs a ladder and a net. However, look at those tits! Rock solid!

          • mancityRed6

            that’s not really a good thing.
            any of it.

      • Roadstergal

        She can lip-sync Michelle.

      • BackDoorMan

        … well, maybe not, but she hums well.

    • Bill D. Burger

      America will sing: “Thank God and Greyhound You’re Gone.”

    • BigBoppa pour la résistance

      No. She will say “I am sorry I failed you komrad Vladimir. Please don’t kill me.”

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        There is supposed to be a state visit to Slovenia where Trump and Putin will meet. I wonder is Melania will go and find an Underground Railroad for abused wives. Like when Katie Holmes fled Tom Cruise and the Scientology freaks.

    • mancityRed6

      she’ll change the keycard access for the penthouse

    • SayItWithWookies

      Only if there’s a Trump Hotel in Buenos Aires.

    • Thiazin Red

      I’m pretty sure her face skin has been pulled way to tight for singing.

      • BackDoorMan

        … one more facelift and we can see her hoo-hah when she smiles.

    • BackDoorMan

      … “Don’t cry for me Tangerina… the truth is, I never loved you… in all my wild days, my pay-to-lay days…”

  • Martini Ambassador

    Recipeblog comment: I made these tonight and now I’m eating the whole pan with a spoon, before they event set up. Save me from myself!
    http://wholefully.com/2012/12/07/handmade-holiday-sea-salt-honey-caramels/

    • BigBoppa pour la résistance

      I would save you from eating AOT,K if only I knew where you are.

    • janecita

      That looks so good! My mouth is watering, I’m coming over, I’m bringing my own spoon!

    • OK Martini, think about your family. Slowly put the spoon down and step away from the pan. It doesn’t have to be this way. We can always begin again and start over at any moment. Remember we are here to help you if you are willing to share some delicious caramels.

    • Serai 1

      *goes to look*

      Damn you.

      /alexanderdane

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Hey! Where’s ours?!

      • Martini Ambassador

        I wish there was a way to share with you all. ‘Cause you guys are the best :)

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Anybody else slightly bemused at the navel gazing about “is this journalism” discussions in the same media outlets that spent nearly 2 years talking about emails and reporting fake Republican leaks about 100 FBI agents and various Benghazi conspiracy theories, and fake Steve Bannon funded/Peter Schweizer written propaganda hand-waving over the the Clinton Foundation?

    • Picabo

      Yes.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The amazing thing is that they can navel gaze like this with their heads so far up their own asses.

      • Picabo

        They have heads?

      • mancityRed6

        maybe it’s easier from the inside?

        • subatomic

          Te he.. Now I’m that weird guy at the pizza joint by himself laughing into his phone. Thanks for that.

      • KnaveOfSwords

        Hey, it’s technically still naval gazing if it’s done from the inside.

    • rebecca

      I am going to have some Thoughts on it in hte morning.

      • msanthropesmr

        Good. I have been yelling at the TVs at the Gym in the morning since the day after the election, when CNN ran something called “What does this mean for journalists”

        • Like CNN would ever know

        • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

          My TVs and radios think I hate them so much now, for all the yelling.

          • Creepoman

            Mine reflexively flinches every time I enter the room. I hope Obamacare will cover all the therapy they gonna need.

          • Unpresidented Ron

            I hope you calm them down and let them know you love them before you go to bed tonight.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Perhaps a nice stuffed animal would help. They wouldn’t know if you grabbed one from the thrift store.

          • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

            Big hugs for them both.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Trix is Mad About A Thing, I think.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          As long as she doesn’t leave the dick jokes out.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I look forward to the dogpile in the non-comments that will inevitably form.

      • Rags

        I hope those Thoughts include many imaginative uses for large number of votes.

    • snark-lurker

      bemused? no. “irritated” doz not…even. M$M have led this wagon train into an ambush and now, “how did we get us into this?”?

    • Serai 1

      Well, you know, now that they’re being attacked…

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        If Clinton or her campaign complained, the story was always “It’s Clinton’s penchant for secrecy that brings this on herself”.

        • haroldpp

          Oooh, that got right under my skin.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Not to mention any number of J-School dissertations over the next few years.

    • nightmoth

      Well, I wouldn’t say I’m bemused, exactly. Livid is more like it.

    • Apple Scruff

      I just posted pretty much the same thing above. Disgusted.

      Also, I should scroll down and read before posting from now on.

  • A_Changeling

    Oh, and thank you Wonket for being here this overwhelming news day, you helped me to even.

  • From the WHOA, IF TRUE! files:

    Did Tillerson just lie under oath during his own confirmation hearing? Occupy Democrats says, “YES!”, but, then, they definitely would.

    Meanwhile, PEE HOOKERS!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      It would be amazing if the vile shitstain did not lie during his confirmation hearing.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Come on, next you’re gonna try to tell me the Pope’s a Catholic. I must look like some kinda sucker. Go on, pull the other one.

        • Roadstergal

          We are living in times when the Pope was the voice of reason on science (specifically, climate change). 2016 was a fuck of a year.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            I almost forgot about that. Truly, we live in interesting times.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            IKR? Sometimes when he speaks I can hear his inner drill sergeant yelling, “You people are fuckin’ killing me!”

          • Claire
          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            When he gave Boehner the balls to quit, I was like this is the Pope we’ve been waiting for.

    • These assholes STILL don’t get that everything they do is recorded now, they STILL believe that they can just say something that is a demonstrable lie without being called on it.

      Of course, nobody will actually be punished for this behaviour, but baby steps, right? RIGHT?!

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        It’s called being rich and all the privilege that entails. They don’t expect to be called on their lies or bad behavior because they’re usually the richest guy in any room, and that confers immunity from criticism on them. This is one reason (aside from his obvious personality defects) that Cheeto Satan can’t take criticism; he’s not had any since he was a child.

        • I’m down with Cheeto Satan as a name for the pussgrabber in chief.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            I stole it from someone here.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Dropkick that wankpipe into next year. I wanna see orange that’s not somebody’s complexion!

  • Martini Ambassador
    • Picabo

      And will soon put it up on blocks in the front yard.

      • BigBoppa pour la résistance

        And buys a 1976 El Camino that needs “some work”.

        • Xenu Ate My Baby!

          Hahahaha!!! Made me spit take!

          • Barbarartanner

            Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !ud446c:
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !ud446c:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash726DigitalRockGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!ud446c:….,….

      • Serai 1

        And starts fucking around on your mom as soon as he gets settled in.

        • Picabo

          And your sister. Then your cousin. . .

          • Yr. Gma

            And the dog.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            That poor dog.

        • Courser

          And then he starts going after *you*!

          • Serai 1

            And by that time, your mom is so cowed, she doesn’t dare do anything to protect you.

    • Trans Am Libelz! OHJB is coming for you

      • msanthropesmr

        Presactly. This is the perverted boyfriend who has overleveraged himself to purchase a Ferrari, which he can’t afford to maintain.

        • mancityRed6

          a 35 year old ferrari

          • msanthropesmr

            No, it’s gotta be new enough to get financing.

          • mancityRed6

            fine, we’ll make it a newer Camaro that he moves every night to hide it from the repo man

          • Jamoche

            Which he talked our mom into co-signing on.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Bald tires. Always look at the tires.

          • msanthropesmr

            Amen! A FUCKEN MEN! EVERY FUCKING TIME I SEE A $60-70k car with fucking bald tires I say to myself

            If you can’t afford the shoes – DONT BUY THE DAMN CAR YOU FUCKING MENACE.

            I’d rather pedal a hoopty with good tires than drive a nice car with bald ones.

          • DahBoner

            Everytime I see someone with a $60-70K car, I see someone poorer than me.

            That car costs more to buy, insure and maintain. 😀

      • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

        Firebird. Gotta have the Screamin’ Chicken.

        • grindstone

          I admit it here: the 1969 Firebird is my dream car.

          • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

            It’s a nightmare from my adolescence.

      • Blackest Noobs

        eh? the car had a sexy look and pretty sweet engine…even for a (yuck) automatic ( not fucking Knight Rider but the Bandit’s ride)

        but a real one drives like shit. fishtaley and couldn’t take corners for shit.

        now this….this is a car———> https://goo.gl/images/ULF18t

    • Count Awesome

      Well Donald’s hair is some weird hybrid mulllet.

    • Alan

      Yeah, keep an eye on the kids.

    • Courser

      Exactly. I’m nauseous.

    • TJ Barke

      Very apt.

    • Jenny

      Nope new dad drives a beat up dodge aries with custom speakers so you can listen to Ratt really loud on the way to school.

      Allegedly and not from my childhood, at all.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        OMG, my mom had a live in boyfriend that I dubbed “Fat and Greasy”. I had left for college but my younger brothers had to suffer through this asshole. No visible signs of support. We suspected that he was a drug dealer. Confirmed when he got nabbed driving a shipment from FL on the interstate. My brothers refused to use his real name and he became FNG. He never knew what the nickname stood for. But imagine stepping into a room and 4 smart ass kids giggling. Good times, good times.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          I typed this, reread it and I’m giggling like a nut. Jesus take the wheel.

    • BadKitty904

      Ew.

    • h4rr4r

      Trans am libels!
      That is Joe Biden’s car.

  • mancityRed6

    So Putin might, I said might, have something on tRump.
    What potential blackmail information does Shep Smith have that he gets to keep his job?

    • BigBoppa pour la résistance

      Bill O’Reilly hit on him in the men’s room.

    • Rick Hill

      How many times a day do you think Putin says “What a fckn idiot. He better hold it together long enough to be of use.”?

      • Count Awesome

        It’s probably becoming Putins nervous tic.

        • mancityRed6

          So noonish Moscow time, Putin is always yelling, “He said what on the tweeter!?”

      • Claire

        At some point someone probably said to Putin, “Hey, you know who would be an awesome asset? The degenerate Western idiot, Donald Trump!” That person is probably face-down in the Volga right now, floating gently out to sea.

  • SayItWithWookies

    No, Shep, of course no journalist should be subject to belittling or dehumanizing by the president [elect] of the United States — that’s Roger Ailes’ job.

  • Count Awesome

    Trump needs to go for the p_ss_ hat trick and become passé

  • Thiazin Red

    Seriously, has someone reprogrammed all the conservative mandroids recently? This shit is weird.

    • Count Awesome

      Their circuits got doused in some unknown liquid, or so it would seem.

  • BigBoppa pour la résistance

    Disqus isn’t giving me notifications when new comments come in. Anyone else having this issue?

    • Yes. So much yes

    • msanthropesmr

      Just monomaniacally hit F5

    • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

      Disqus has been borked for me all day.

    • Picabo

      Disquis is not updating. I need to log out then log in to update. Started today.

      • Suse

        Use this and you won’t have to log out/in:

        Sort by Newest

        • Picabo

          Thanks.

    • Disqus is as wonderful as it has ever been. . .

      • BackDoorMan

        … which is to say… oh… nevermind.

    • TJ Barke

      It’s not doing shit in real time anymore.

    • nightmoth

      Did that to me a coupla weeks ago–they kept denying problems until a few thousand reports came in to them. Lasted 3 days in my area.

    • Suse

      Yes – have to keep sorting by newest comments.

  • Ricky Gay

    Everybody: Don’t forget those urine cakes we like!

  • Courser

    Damn! Orange Shitgibbon is pissing *everyone* off!

    I’m not feeling any weight lifting from my poor shoulders, tho. It remains to be seen what transpires. Yes, this is a Constitutional Crisis. But the Rethugs are NOT going to cede their immense power without a fight. Remember Obama’s speech last night when he included the word ‘blood’ in the fight for democracy? Yeah, I think it’s going to come down to armed insurrection and I’m scared shitless.

    • mancityRed6

      the armchair/basement warriors don’t have the guts to take it to war.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        They may give the cops military weapons again. Then we will need to be like the Dutch Resistance.

        • msanthropesmr

          Throw wooden shoes at shit? I’m down.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Those citizens were bad ass. Save almost all of their Jewish friends and neighbors. Threw the only successful labor strikes of any the Nazi occupied countries. The Nazis tried to starve them and they still fought back.

      • BadKitty904

        Nor the funding nor the organizational skills. These hayseeds are the grandsons of barn-burners. Cowardly acts of random destruction, yes, like any other terrorist group; but all-out, sustained war, no.

      • satanscheerleadersloveamerica

        there are so many overly armed, angry loons everywhere in the U.S. itching for a fight, we need to be aggressive and careful.

        • mancityRed6

          they act it, maybe even say it online, but IRL it’s a whole different set of rules.

    • Count Awesome

      Piss in the bedroom leads to blood in the streets.

      • mancityRed6

        sounds like someone needs to see a doctor

  • Picabo

    My go-to movie when I get depressed about this shit show.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Clz9ykXMkeM

    • BigBoppa pour la résistance

      True fact: the gentleman who plays the captured German officer is David Hurst, an old family friend of ours. He was born in Austria but was evacuated to England as a small boy to escape the Nazis. I think his parents were killed in a concentration camp.

      • Picabo

        Thanks. I did not know that.
        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Hurst

        • BigBoppa pour la résistance

          And thank you. I didn’t know he has a wikipedia page. I also never knew he worked with Richard Burton. Knowing David, there were probably some nights of heavy drinking back then.

          • Ωbjectifier

            So his scenes in Kelly’s Heroes wasn’t really acting?

          • BigBoppa pour la résistance

            The only thing I remember him saying about Kelly’s Heroes was that it was delicious irony that he played a Nazi.

  • Apple Scruff

    What’s really pissing me pissing me off right now are all of the news outlets trying to denounce these Russian reports, many patting themselves on the back for not publishing them, while they were off and running with every new Clinton email drop from Wikileaks,

    • haroldpp

      Right?! Every leaked email was top of the fold, big headline story. Sheesh.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      You have to wonder how gravity works when the bar is set so low that Risotto recipes are legitimate leaks, and leaks straight from Moscow are sacrosanct.

    • msanthropesmr

      Meeeee tooooo

      And the thing that pisses me off. Let’s assume for a second that Sec. Clinton’s email on the server did indeed contain classified information. What is the absolute worst that could have happened?

      Now assume for a moment that our president is controlled by the Russians. What’s the absolute worst that could happen?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        We have to start eating borscht?

        • msanthropesmr

          I hate fucking Borscht. I do liked stuffed cabbage, blinis, and meat, so that part’d be alright.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I’m thinking we should invest in potato futures.

  • Nounverb911

    When Vicente Fox speaks, Donnie doesn’t listen.

    https://twitter.com/VicenteFoxQue/status/819231300829794304

    • Suse

      Right on, Vinny!

    • Roadstergal

      Why, is this Fox News?

    • BadKitty904

      …And on the pedestal these words appear:
      My name is Trumpanzias, King of Kings:
      Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

      Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
      Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
      The lone and level sands stretch far away.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Your lips to gawd’s ear.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      New curse: May that fucking wall be made solely out of Trump’s yuge kidney stones, pissed-out ONE. AT. A. FUCKING. TIME. Through his tiny pee pee.

  • TJ Barke

    I kinda want to go get an old winchester rifle and just go live as a mountain man for the next 4 years.

    • mancityRed6

      the whole “living off the land” dream would be better if I had the testicular fortitude to not only kill, but butcher my own meat.
      or if I could grow anything but more lazy.

      • TJ Barke

        I’d only cannibalize hitchhikers if I really had to.

        • Suse

          Haha!

        • Dok is very delete-y today hon.

          • TJ Barke

            I wouldn’t think silly cannibalism jokes wouldn’t tempt the hammer of loving correction…

          • Jokes about well-timed accidents did

          • TJ Barke

            Yikes…

        • Count Awesome

          Hobos are the way to go. They’re more flavorful but you have to slow cooker them. They’re bindle is like the toy surprise from a cereal box too, also.

        • mancityRed6

          I’d at least be a little discerning:
          “Who did you vote for in ’16?”

  • Nounverb911
    • Suse

      She is one classy dame.

  • data_ninja
    • TJ Barke

      I hope that’s satire…

      • data_ninja

        I wish it was. Propaganda is in all forms and flavors.

        • TJ Barke

          Disgusting. Fucking disgusting.

  • Nounverb911
  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    If I were a real journo, I’d be rummaging around the Capitol and discreetly making inquiries as to who will be filing impeachment papers and how many minutes after Donald takes his hand off the Bible.

    • PixieThis

      He’s not going to swear in on a bible, he’s going to get sworn in with his hand on The Art of the Deal.

      • mancityRed6

        he’ll tweet it

    • Résistance Land Shark
  • Résistance Land Shark

    The more I read, the less any of the Trump “people’s” reactions make sense. They are now in what I would call “full out panic” mode. They are cornered, their nominations are not going well, the quiet confirmation hearings are turning into the Inquisition, and Donnie can’t keep his fingers from the tweeter machine. Somewhere in the bowels of Trümpenstien administration, Steve Bannon is trying to control what is happening.

    Bannon can’t control this. Kellyanne can only look nice and try to word salad her way around any direct questions. Bannon’s minions don’t have the juice to cover all this in projection and Benghazi and emails and foundations. The Pandora’s Box of Trümpian Bullshit has been opened, and it cannot be closed or quieted. Melania, to her credit, has avoided all this, and kept young Barron out of it. Uday, Qusay, Ivanka, and Jared are getting splattered with the golden shower of retribution.

    I look forward to our Editrix, the Queen Mother of Donna Rose, to bring some clarity to what has been a chaotic day.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Could this be the “Derp Spiral” that Paul Krugman mentioned before the erection?

      Also, when in the hell has Kellyanne ever looked nice? I must have blinked while on a bender.

      • Courser

        She’s always looked like meth addict to me. The thin, brittle-looking hair, the gaunt face, the pale sickly complexion and the frenetic pace that she spins and twirls. She’s a tweaker all right.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          I would have to agree with that.

      • Résistance Land Shark

        Kellyanne looks nicer than the other Derp Merchants: BillO, Beck, Rush, Hannity, and Coulter. Though, the woman could use a good facial and some serious hair conditioner.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Shithead’s about to find out why Presidents age so quickly.

  • memzilla Ω

    “He is human Silly Putty, endlessly flexible and bearing the imprint of whatever surface he last touched.” — Kurt Eichenwald

    • Martini Ambassador

      An imprint which can then be stretched to grotesque proportions. Yup, seems apt.

  • Nounverb911
  • Daisy

    I took a nap. Looks like the day was just plain weird, and not a product of me getting up at 3 a.m.

    • I am exceedingly jealous of your nap

      • Daisy

        It was pleasant. And necessary.

        • mancityRed6

          I’ve spent the last five years getting up at 4AM, so of course that means weekends, too.
          On my days off lately, a nice afternoon nap, curled up with Pippa and watching something on the netflix/hulu was nice.

          • Rasilom

            My fav napping show on Netlicks (typo but left it cause funny) is the new Cosmos. Degrass Tyson’s voice is perfect to nod off too and the visual effects are amazing!

          • mancityRed6

            I’ve spent the last five years or so (however long it’s been since they introduced netflix streaming) falling asleep to something in the bedroom. I really need to watch the new Cosmos again, I probably only saw the first 15 minutes of it.

          • Courser

            Man, there is *nothing* better than the Sunday afternoon nap. I generally only do them when I’ve had an early exercise or volunteer gig that day, but man, I love ’em. Put some old movie on the box and just snooze. Enjoy!

          • mancityRed6

            That would be my days off.
            A little bit of Irish in my coffee in the morning leads to just plain Irish and all of a sudden it’s about 1PM and I’m laying down for an hour or so. Put the netflix on early futurama and cuddle up with one of the cats.

    • shaar dula

      weird. but true. I have been getting up 3-ish for close to a month. and feel nappy late in the day. part jet-lag and part nothing else to do.
      really want to get back to normal schedule. get up 5-ish in the morning, cuddle for a bit in the night,

    • Courser

      Good for you. Rest in college is important.

      Yeah, it was weird. I can usually keep up with stuff while I’m working but not today. There was just too much and too crazy shit going around so I couldn’t do a quick scan to see if it was a joke or ‘real’. Sadly, or maybe Happily, it was mostly real.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I’m jealous because I was nearly asleep until my roommate needed me to take out the trash (she is disabled and the landlord complains every time there is anything having to do with raw meat in the trash).

  • shaar dula

    since this an open thread. brinjal/egg plant is the king of veges for a reason. no one, I mean no one, including the babaganoush wannabees, west of the sindhu, and the intrepid take-out walas east of the Brahmaputra, not to mention the romans on Tiber, really understand what a brinjal is. brinjal be the king/queen of veges, You need to make love to it, understand its texture and its flavor. You don’t slice it tangential to its latitude and abuse it with heat, There is a strict set of spices that go with it. Every time you eat brinjal you are supposed to feel an explosion of flavor. you are supposed to orgasm – feel like you’ve just birthed your first born. a well made brinjal is supposed to evoke that sentiment,

    • jowgajen

      Eggplant is yucky, spongy and weird. Except the little green ones that go in Thai curry, those can be good.

      • shaar dula

        I pity your entire existence. for your have been deprived of he glory of an eggplant. you have eaten junk. sorry. rude but true. about the only thing I will pledge my life to is the glory of a brinjal, its versatility and its flavor. only trumpsters blame the class of brinjals. the obamaites just let the brinjal do its thing.

    • Pisciatoiojohn

      I give this comment four 🍆🍆🍆🍆s

      • Courser

        Four purple dicks? j/k

    • Suse

      I love eggplant. I cube it, toss it with olive oil, garlic, s & p, and roast it in a hot oven. Yummy.

      • shaar dula

        cubes. love it that you said cubes,

      • shaar dula

        will try this myself.

    • Unpresidented Ron

      Brinjal is just another wannabe. The true God-Emperor of vegetables is the noble Corn. A vegetable so finely bred that scientists cannot discover its origins. A vegetable that is used for so many purposes that without it civilisation would collapse and die. For humans it is delicious and nutritious. For animals it is a superior feed. It may be turned into a handy oil or an excellent fuel or a powerful sweetener. And suitably prepared it becomes popcorn, the snack food of snack foods.
      But purists know how corn is best enjoyed: cooked in the husk with live steam, rolled on a block of purest butter, dusted with priceless salts, and eaten on the cob as butter flows down your chin. For the eating of corn involves all the senses – the glowing yellow gold of the kernels, the slithering crunch as you bite, the intoxicating aroma of the butter, the the incomparable rich flavour, and the bathing of the skin in wetness and dairy.
      Love the corn. For it will love you back.

      • shaar dula

        admire your love for it. but respectfully disagree. its prolly one of the universal primary food crops. but in many food cultures not a staple.
        in terms of full utilization the coconut tree is maximally utilized. beyond obvious uses, its stems are used as pipes, flowers for ceremonies and as a beauty accessory, leaves as thatching, branches as firewood and for sport, the sheath around fruit as safety helmets, milk as nutrition, fermented milk as a liquor, crème as a snack, reeds as brooms, and left over part from de-reeded leaves in screen and utensil making, and from from fruit as a cooking. medicine and as hair nourisher. the shell as vessels, and the hair on the shells as a scrubber.
        the coconut palm is truly the all giving plant. its called kalpatharu – that witch enables needs.

  • Suse
    • Martini Ambassador

      Now that’s funny!

    • The Boss would literally light himself on fire before performing for the shitgibbon

    • mancityRed6

      the one guy with the long stringy hair just looks way out of place

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      “We’re fortunate in that we have the greatest celebrity in the world, which is the president-elect,” Barrack said. “So what we’ve done instead of trying to surround him with what people consider A-listers is we are going to surround him with the soft sensuality of the place. It’s a much more poetic cadence than having a circus-like celebration that’s a coronation.”

      Barrack? For reals? I’m not sure “soft sensuality” is the best way to characterize a celebration of the Pussy Grabber-in-Chief. What would hard sensuality look like–Melania?

      • Suse

        That’s just hilarious! Say, “Barrack” sounds a little foreign to me.

    • georgiaburning

      Are they going to perform or deliver pizza?

      • BigBoppa pour la résistance

        Why not both?

    • h4rr4r

      A fucking cover band?
      Wow, just like a high school prom.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Ten Things I Hate About You Libelz!

    • Ωbjectifier

      With a white sax player??

      • Suse

        Clarence C must be spinning in his grave. He is dead, isn’t he?

    • BadKitty904

      “#1 cover band”. How apt.

      • Suse

        I like one of the comments about them playing “Born in the USSR.”

        • BadKitty904

          I saw on the Innertubes that the Red Army Choir is going to perform.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PX06s49xbHQ

          • Rasilom

            If that were true I am thinking they all think they doged a bullet when their plane crashed…

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Yep, that sounds like a cover band. They charging 3 bucks at the door?

    • Thiazin Red

      Give it up Chris Christie, Bruce Springsteen will never like you and Trump will never call you back.

      • BadKitty904

        I imagine Krispy is thanking his lucky stars he got out in time. Better a stint in state prison for corruption and perjury than this.

    • msanthropesmr

      The B-Street Band. More like the D-List band.

    • SayItWithWookies

      I hope they bring a Chris Christie impersonator to stand in front of the stage and gaze longingly at whoever the lead singer is.

    • ROFL a bruce springstein cover band XD
      He is probably thinking this counts as trolling Bruce. Because ha ha fucker, I got your songs at my gig!
      But in reality he is giving Bruce royalty money for doing nothing.

    • Rick Hill

      Up next: trump rents those inflatable extras movies use to make it seem as though a lot of people are present.

  • Pat_Pending

    Fifty Shades of Yellow. Just hadda put it out there.

  • snark-lurker

    only the little people do purjury, silly.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Hey, all you gag sacking cockthistle wagon lickers, check out this useful site

    • Tallmutha

      Bookmarked. Thanks, you leaking douchewaffle pile butler.

      • jowgajen

        Leg-humping dingleberry jacker.

        • Suse

          rambling sphincter maggot!

          • Rasilom

            Aids infected vaginal yeast worm!

      • Résistance Land Shark

        jizz-draped nerf bandit!

    • msanthropesmr

      Pffft. I can do better without technology, you cock-faced shart licker.

      • snark-lurker

        doz Msanthrope know you use werdz like that?

    • Thiazin Red

      I need to use this for my D&D character. The Vicious mockery spell is useful but after a while coming up with new material is challenging, even for a rotting douchwaffle twunt licker.

    • Meccalopolis

      I got ‘wagon lover’ cracked me up

    • Amy!

      Fingerlicking hole sniffer.

    • JustDon’tSayPeePee

      utter piss tranny fucker
      But I had to try 4 times. The first one was ‘kid lover’. Sad!

    • Unpresidented Ron

      Pretty good, you cross-eyed dickwhistle stack.

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      Holy Moly, the IQ of that site is off the charts…

  • Earlier, I tweetered at the Mike Pence entity and wondered how he could stand for the gross Pee Otis and his Make America Golden Showerrs policy. Then suggested he’d better sit down. D’you think he saw it?

  • mackafritz

    So now all this shit about Clownstick is coming out? Where were these assholes a year ago? I’m going to sound like a wingnut, but fuck the lamestream media. They are surprised about this?

    • Picabo

      Yes.

    • Suse

      Chuck Toad is incensed at Buzzfeed for spreading fake news!

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Fuck ALL the way off, upChuck.

      • Jukesgrrl

        He’s such a dweeb — has he never heard of Watergate? Nixon also denied everything that he was accused of. Turns out the truth was far worse than the stories put out early on. Then again Nixon’s people didn’t go around claiming there was no such thing as truth, only your opinion and my opinion.

    • Thiazin Red

      But there were emails to report on! EMAILS!!!!

    • Courser

      I’ve been sounding like a wingnut since 11/9. Sometimes I feel like one of the crazy people in a Steven King novel, wandering and yelling about the coming Apocalypse. Which this has sort of been, all pissing aside.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot
  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Santorum now leaking all over CNN about the Don’s finances.

    • How is that different than everyday at CNN?

    • Suse

      Don’t say “santorum” and “leaking” in the same sentence, please.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Kind of implied, no?

  • Michael R

    Better ways to spend your time
    than a Donald Trump press conference

    https://s29.postimg.org/i2czxsuvb/cat_staring_interesting_box_small.jpg

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Nobody expects the Cardboard Inquisition.

    • BadKitty904

      I feel calmer already.

    • Jukesgrrl

      I don’t like cats, but even I have to upfist that photo.

    • Unpresidented Ron

      ‘I can sit here all day, box. One of us is going to move and it won’t be me.’

      • Naytch

        I almost thought kitty time out, but then remembered they are shameless.

  • Oh and also too, they’re gonna defund our healthcare that Bams gave us, tonight courtesy of John Cornyn and his Corntry Shitkickers. So you might want to call your Rep and your Senators, or if they’ve turned off the phone machine for the night, you can send them a nice fax for free so that maybe in the morning the first person in the office comes in to find their fax machine thing shat all over the floor. Which may be too late, but would be satisfying to know some intern had to sit there and cut all the damn faxes into sheets. Or file them.

    How?? EASY. Go to http://www.faxzero.com, scroll to bottom, click FAX your Congresspeson or Senator, fill in the nice boxes with your flithee liberll diatribes (srsly be nice and call them Honorable Shitkicker). And click, wait for email, and click link in email. DONE. Works best outside of the Tweetermathing.

    • eka

      i like it but … it seems like an awful waste of paper. it conflicts with my concern for the environment. and yet it’s so tempting …

      • AngryKatie

        Emailing many elected officials is a waste of time. Many offices don’t review emails frequently, if at all.

        There are rules dictating how they handle the constituent mail they get. Those rules have never been extended to cover electronic communications because our Congress hasn’t made it to the 21st century yet.

        Mailing them a personally written letter is the most effective means of communication if you can’t visit their DC or local office in person, attend a town hall, etc. Calling their local or DC office is good too as staff are required to tally calls.

        Faxes are better than emails, but not as effective as letters. Form letters and form faxes aren’t impactful unless they get a ton of them.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      No, the defund vote isn’t tonight. This vote is to allow them down the road to use reconciliation on the pieces of the ACA that require a budget item. It still sucks like a Hoover, but it’s not the “absolute end-times” vote. That comes when they move the budget through.

      • No no, that comes when a Dem is president so they can blame the fall out on him/her

      • Amy!

        Yup. Lets them avoid the filibuster, which (surprisingly, for me) they kept around in this Senate. But they still need fifty votes plus the vice president to pass the defunding via reconciliation, and there are fifty-two republicans, and more than three are already making it pretty clear that they aren’t willing to risk repeal-and-delay, they want repeal-and-replace.

        Maybe the turtle guy can kick his boys into line, but it’s looking more hopeful for the preservation of the ACA than I thought possible in November and December. They’ll keep trying for the next two years if this first run doesn’t work, but since throwing twenty-million people off of insurance isn’t a politically popular stance in a country where less than a hundred and fifty million vote in quadrennial elections, the repeal-and-replace-simultaneously crowd might force Mitch’s hand.

        Mind, if it’s Lamar Alexander, Supergenius’s replacement plan, they’re still going to be gutting insurance, just putting on a show. It might be enough to get them through 2018, but the fallout by 2020 will be pretty toxic for anyone associated with taking away hope from less-wealthy voters.

      • That’s good, there were reports that they’d try to pass something tonight. This had me concerned…so thanks!
        https://www.cornyn.senate.gov/content/cornyn-budget-vote-first-step-towards-relief-obamacare

  • Courser

    I think I’m going to try Rachel Maddow tonight. While I’ve watched Wonkette and some news all day, stuff came fast and furious today. I need her to lay it out for me.

    Maybe then I’ll feel a bit happier.

    • Pisciatoiojohn

      Aren’t you the cockeyed optimist . . .

  • BMW

    The 2 ethics lawyers PBS Newshour has talking about Trump’s proposed business plan are losing their shit over answers given at the press conference. They’re like two steps away from flipping out and slapping somebody.

    • Ain’t no slap-fight like a PBS slap-fight

      • BMW

        They’re agreeing with each other, but they are both PISSED over Trump’s action and probably wouldn’t mind yelling at him directly about it.

        • artem1s

          about damn time

      • alpacapunchbowl

        I would pay-per-view that.

  • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy
  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    Today’s Trump events give us the opportunity to view the differences between Journalists and Urinalists.

    No, I am not sorry for this.

  • HazooToo
    • A_Changeling

      But which was the road less traveled by?

      • HazooToo

        That was exactly my first question!

        • mancityRed6

          order the…you know what? nevermind.
          that was almost too easy

    • boyblue123

      interesting combo of advertisments

    • mancityRed6

      I don’t want to see your history at all.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Pastor? I never rode her!

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Your search history got mixed up with Jerry Falwell, Jr.’s?

      • Yr. Gma

        That is Jerry Jr’s search.

    • TJ Barke

      “This thing will damage you”
      SOLD!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Twelve dozen for 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, D.C. Please deliver January 20. Thank you.

    • The two ads alone are good, but the Robert Frost quote really ties it together.

    • mailman27

      When it comes to pastoral studies, I’m thinking more sheep than horse. But that’s just me.

  • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy
  • BadKitty904

    You almost have to admire Sniffles’ ability to destroy a “Presidency” before it’s even started.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9e9c40e43e96246d59b2a947e89a66041c9d73d6d216bf7365b363c52482dbac.gif

    • mancityRed6

      tRump would be the guy lighting his farts in the hindenburg.

    • Amy!

      “Oh, the humanity! Oh, a thousand men pissing at once couldn’t put out this trump fire!”

    • Tallmutha

      Oh, the humana-pee!

    • alpacapunchbowl

      The lyrics are not on point, but the title of Led Zeppelin’s “What Is And What Should Never Be” come to mind.

  • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy
    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      What a hoser.

    • Tallmutha

      Oh Man. I laughed, a lot. But it just occurred to me that I’m gonna feel pretty worn down after a solid 4 years of pee jokes. A day or two is fine, but I don’t really love thinking about urine that much. Thanks, Trump.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      It’s the famous 21-gallon-per-second salute! I thought that was reserved for POTUS.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Shorter Trump: You’re either uranus or phallus.

  • msanthropesmr
  • DahBoner
    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Do you know who else was a snappy dresser?

    • Tallmutha

      I just read “1924: The Year that Made Hitler,” which included an account of Der Fuhrer’s stay in Landsberg Prison. He had it ridiculously cushy. I’m almost OK with keeping Guantanamo open if Trump can be sent there.

      • doktorzoom

        Yeah, I was gonna say. Then again, there’s little danger of him writing his own book.

      • Tallmutha

        264 days: a reasonable sentence for someone convicted of high treason.

    • yeah but that did not go very well last time.
      Instead let us mock him into tucking his tail and running, forever ruining his brand, forcing his oldest spawn to change their names and still never, ever, ever enjoying a sincere nod from high society. And in a fit of pique at those three vampires, Trump writes them out of his will and names Barron and Tiffany as his sole beneficiaries.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        They would also need plastic surgery to hide.

      • BackDoorMan

        … oh, please. Tiffany ain’t getting shit – Donnie hates Marla to the point of barely even acknowledging the spawn of their union. Now, Barron – that’s a different story. Pretty sure he’s Donnie’s trump card in case the other siblings don’t fall in line.

    • BackDoorMan

      … which was fine… for a start… but then they let him out. And THEN look what happened.

  • msanthropesmr
  • shivaskeeper

    Anybody hit on this today? The nice lawyer lady from the press conference works for Morgan-Lewis. Morgan-Lewis and partners were named the Russia Law Firm of the Year. It’s on their own company web page.

    https://www.morganlewis.com/news/chambers-partners-names-morgan-lewis-as-russia-law-firm-of-the-year

    • I would venture that it sure as hell does mean something.
      Trump has no dealings with Russia, but the woman he hires just so happens to work for a Russian Law Firm?
      Sure. Means nothing.

      • PussyGrabbinRussianPatsy

        And dont forget his campaign manager Manafort.

        • shivaskeeper

          But, but… Manafort was fired. He would have nothing to do with anything after that. Right?

          • PussyGrabbinRussianPatsy

            Correct, the firing absolved all connections past and present… in gaslight land anyway…

          • shivaskeeper

            You mean to tell me some of these people might not have the impeccable integrity they lay claim too? I. Am. Shocked. Shocked I tell you.

      • shivaskeeper

        They are an international firm, but for nothing else, the optics of picking this particular firm shows yet another astonishing lack of judgement.

        When I say it doesn’t mean anything, I mean I have no proof one way or another, but still there had to be other firms he could have gone with. I don’t want to start a CT.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Oh, fuck. How deep is Donald in Putin’s ass?

      Don’t answer that.

      • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

        Other way around, I think.

      • cheetojeebus

        Do you remember that train scene in North by Northwest? A metaphor, if you will.

      • Résistance Land Shark

        If Donnie turned on his helmet light he could give Vlad a tonsillectomy.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      They’re going for Refuge in Audacity. They want to make all of this shit so unbelievable that even if it is all true it sounds like the ramblings from someone in Bellevue.

      • shivaskeeper

        I listened to that stupid ass presser today. He really does believe no one cares about his tax returns. I’m sure he really believes no one would care about this or even notice. He probably believes no one would notice, or if they did notice call him on it, or if they did call him on it make him answer or get him into trouble over it.

  • BadKitty904

    Am I the only one to notice that Mike Pence has been standing veeeery still and veeeeery quiet this week, hoping no one will see him?

    • Suse

      He’s the shy understudy, quietly hoping that Drumpf will break his leg.

      • BadKitty904

        Mike Pence, the Cock Bothers’ own Ruby Keeler…

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      Almost sort of like he wouldn’t want to attract attention in connection with a certain subject. Maybe.

    • shivaskeeper

      He’s been pretty well in the background from day one. It almost seems like he would be a good establishment pick, and doesn’t want all the piss splashing on him during a potential impeachment. He gets all pee covered, he doesn’t get to move to the Oval Office when his boss gets the boot.

    • Unpresidented Ron

      He did goof a bit by announcing his ‘friend’ Donnie this morning, but he was smart enough to stay quiet after that.

  • WomanInTheResistance

    So how are my fellow PNWers doing? Everybody survive Snowmageddon?

    • It was a great, big nothingburger here. I’m not complaining about that. . .

      • WomanInTheResistance

        We got a foot of snow. And a nice gentleman helped push my car into the street when I got stuck after work. Or I would still be sitting there. It’s pretty dramatic for Portland.

        • Yikes. I’m supposed to be travelling down that way this weekend. (NOT driving. I’m still having some issues with that. But the therapist they assigned me to is very nice.)

          • WomanInTheResistance

            I know. I was planning on going to the meet-up in Eugene. But it’s supposed to get very freezy, so I don’t know if I can make it.

            I’m so glad that you got a good therapist. And are dealing with things.

        • shivaskeeper

          Still on for Sat in Eugene, yes?

          • WomanInTheResistance

            As far as I know, it’s still planned for Saturday. But I checked the forecast, and it’s supposed to get super cold and freezing. I have a realistic understanding of my winter driving skills.

          • shivaskeeper

            I’ll be passing through Portland. Let me know if you need a ride. I’m pretty good at winter driving and anticipating the yahoos who aren’t good at it.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            That is mighty kind of you!

          • shivaskeeper

            Assuming you don’t mind riding with an actual stranger. Same goes for anyone else along the I5 corridor. Figure from Centralia WA south to Eugene.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          There was only rain in my part of Tacoma. I actually thought earlier, “isn’t it supposed to snow or something here?” and it’s sad because I only have snow boots, not hiking boots and I’ll need to walk through the puddles tomorrow.

        • Hellhathnofury Demme
          • WomanInTheResistance

            That is a mighty cute puppy!

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      We’re making endless stupid and tawdry noncomments about piss and hookers and pissing hookers. What else?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      If I hear one more person say, “It used to snow a lot more than this,” I’m gonna. . .

      • Suse

        We had lots here in the bay area, but it was dry and sunny today.

      • Hellhathnofury Demme

        We used to live in Rochester, NY.
        Constantly heard that from all the older family members.
        As if it was like a big badge of honor.
        *eyeroll*

    • TJ Barke

      It’s mostly rainmageddon down here.

    • BadKitty904
      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        The Tender Vittles award for a breakthrough performance goes to…

      • HEY, KOOL-ADE!

      • WomanInTheResistance

        That is hilarious. I love a cat that knows it’s own mind. Oh wait, that’s AOT, K.

        • BadKitty904

          Kitty don’t play.

      • Alan

        That’s such a cat thing.

        • BadKitty904

          Yes. Yes, it is.

    • shivaskeeper

      Took me an hour to go the first 10 miles of my drive today. Then I got routed onto Weyerhauser timber land because the roads were closed due to assholes driving into power line poles. That’s sort of bad sign by me since Weyerhauser does not like any motorized vehicles on their land. The last time I got to use one of thier logging roads was about 6-7 years ago to go around some pretty bad flooding.

      After that the roads were all clear.

    • Unpresidented Ron

      Up Here it’s bloody RAINING.
      In the middle of January.
      RAINING.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    “I felt a great disturbance in the Bladder, as if millions of Donalds suddenly cried out in laughter and were suddenly relieved. I fear something terrible has happened.”

  • Picabo

    “If Obama was represented by the 2016 Russia Law Firm of the Year, Conservatives would have shit their collective rectums inside out” Jim Wright at Stonekettle on Twitter.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      But we’re still supposed to say “President Trump”?

  • Suse

    Tweety says it’s all probably fake, anyway.

    • Tallmutha

      There’s more than one source out there, so fuck off, Tweety.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Let’s not forget the server also too.

    • BadKitty904

      ‘Cause if anyone would know “fake news”…

    • TJ Barke

      But thank god we all gave careful consideration to Hillary’s emails…

    • Pisciatoiojohn

      I remember when my old boss Tip and the Gipper used to get together over cocktails and pee on each other . . . .

    • Shoto

      I’d pay good money for the chance to punch Tweety Hardball right in his jabbering piehole. With votes, of course.

  • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy
    • Suse

      Pretty – thanks.

      • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

        Also an aquatic theme.

  • BadKitty904

    Aight, supper’s ready. Back a bit laters, non-commentaters!

    • mancityRed6

      coming!

      • BadKitty904

        You’d be welcome! It’s a banyan day, so no meat, but there’s plenty for all – a big-ass salad, a cheese-and-veggie fritata, home-made garlic bread, etc.

  • Rick Hill

    Some songs are timeless…and some are very specific. This is the later and it seems tailor made for donald
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waJLv46_N6c

  • AngryKatie

    Maybe the American press can take a lesson from S Korea about how to stand in solidarity until officials recognize they have an important role to play too…

    https://petapixel.com/2016/12/01/photojournalists-lay-dslrs-protest-south-korea/
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/67a1a27fdaa54aa09c2a881f3d50ae040a3c3a318f570d6754fc34fddcb82283.jpg

    • I likey!

    • Michael R

      What happened to the guy who took the picture ?

      • mancityRed6

        they only do death by anti aircraft gun in the north, so…

      • Jenny

        Uninvited from all the cool parties! No really even media people need propaganda!

  • Me not sure

    If they ever make a movie about the Trump Administration, I suggest actor and bon vivant Leslie Jordan to play Jeff Sessions. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/683f80e7195261c2b9282d706ffd4b681a70812583e2e45d17e2fc5e6ccf49af.jpg

  • Well, this should all make us feel much better about the chances of war under Trump. Now, we know he’s way into world pees.

  • Picabo
  • Shoto
  • Shoto
    • Suse

      Scary stuff.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Pees Pee Me

    Worst P-side Beatle’s 45 recording.

  • OrG

    I’m really hoping these 2017 American nazis are more like Hogan’s Heroes nazis than like hitler nazis.

  • Jennifer R

    Normally the water is several pylons to the right. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-5u0iW6uAU

    • Résistance Land Shark

      Oh, my. Everything of yours on high ground?

      • Jennifer R

        There is a sizable berm between me and the river.

        • Résistance Land Shark

          Thank FSM! Keep yer powder dry and stay safe. We will need all Wonkers in the coming battle.

    • Blacktop Autumn

      I think we’re supposed to get a massive amount of ice from this shit when it hits on Friday.

    • JustDon’tSayPeePee

      You’re Bay Area, right? Where was that?

      • Jennifer R

        Sacramento now. Right next to CSU.

        • JustDon’tSayPeePee

          I’ve only been through that area once, but I remember that terrain. When it floods, the water spreads waaaayyy out, huh?

          • Jennifer R

            Yeah, it could be really bad all over if it over runs the berm.

          • theCryptofishist

            Oh yeah, back in the day (1800s and earlier) it was wide open marsh in the winter… Waterfowl darkening the skies when they flew…
            Can I miss something I never had?

    • Yr. Gma

      Mono Lake is up six inches. We’re getting soaked up and down the state.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Is anyone watching Kellyanne on Anderson Cooper? Because holy shit.

    • Suse

      Watching Chris Hayes.

    • Is he journalisming again? I like when he does that

      • Vincent Ricola

        He did an interview with her at some point earlier in the day and now they’re playing it unedited. It’s so long that they had to go to commercial. Anderson is pissed and is checking her in real time.

        • He is great when he gets pissed.

          • Vincent Ricola

            He is being absolutely awesome right now. She is lying her face off.

          • Résistance Land Shark

            Well, that should break some of the make up off her face ….

          • Yr. Gma

            That could only be a good thing.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Ooh, I hope I can find this on the intertubes tonight!

          • Résistance Land Shark

            He can get so catty and vicious, one might mistake him for a pissed off ghey.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Yes, yes he is.

    • Alan

      No, makes me queasy.

    • Suse

      I can’t stand to look at her Bette Davis as Baby Jane level of makeup.

      • Résistance Land Shark

        I’ll send her a gift certificate for a facial … at least.

        • Suse

          I hear the urine of young virgins does wonders for the skin.

        • AngryKatie

          Deep. Conditioning. Treatment.

    • Suse

      Man, what a horrible evil harpy she is.

      • BackDoorMan

        … and that’s just her good point.

    • Is he tearing apart her porcelain facade so that she winds up a gibbering pile of NO FAIR and MEAN!!!

      • Vincent Ricola

        Multiple times. He schooled her and made her look like a fool. And she kept passively-aggressively talking about how CNN needs to “clean house” if they want to have a good relationship with Trump, so that was creepy.

        • Edith Prickly

          First he pissed on the intelligence agencies, then he pissed on the news network…

    • Serai 1

      Ew, gods no. Why would I want to do that?

  • Unpresidented Ron

    Know what, Wonkeurs et Wonkeuses? I’m not feeling half bad today. I think we’re gonna win this one. Why? Because while they may be evil, the Bad Guys are also DUMB. We’ve got their numbers now, and if they think they’ve been taking shit before, they ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

    • Suse

      The ethics guys say they won’t stand for a Nixonian Saturday Night Massacre with Drumpf firing all of the watchdogs. We’ll see.

      • Résistance Land Shark

        The bureaucracy has existed for a long time. It’s like a super tanker …. very hard to change course and very slow to do it.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          “The bureaucratic mentality is the only constant in the universe.”

      • snark-lurker

        wut “ethics guys”? teh ones tRump will Your Fired! tomorrow?

        • Suse

          Obama and Dubya’s ethics guys told Chris Hayes this.

      • AngryKatie

        There was another interesting bit from one of the ethics guys earlier today: the definition of who has standing to bring suit against Trump for emoluments violations is pretty broad: anyone who can demonstrate harm.

        So if you can make an argument that he’s made choices based on personal gain from foreign interests, and that your interests were therefore harmed, every citizen in the country would theoretically have legal standing.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Just tell your neighbors over to the west in Michigan, and to the south in Ohio and Pennsylvania, to stop voting for treasonous Russian-pee-aficionados just because they have “economic anxiety” over the fact that a black man has been in the White House for 8 years.

      • miss_grundy

        It wasn’t economic anxiety. They just hate him because he is black and smart. A lot smarter than a large segment of the population in Michigan that buys into Snyder’s lies and the DeVos’ bullshite about education. Charter schools will make generations of children in Michigan really dumb.

        • Left Coast Tom

          I grew up in Michigan…”economic anxiety” is snark at folks (generally not here) whose only tool is Karl Marx, and therefore can see no other problems.

          Michigan passed a civil rights act in the early 1940s, which is way cool (CA’s is far more comprehensive, but was passed considerably later in the 1950s). It was also recognized by Thurgood Marshall in the 1960s as the most segregated state in the US, and even today, on the “Racial Dot Map”, the location of Eight Mile Road couldn’t possibly be more clear.

          • miss_grundy

            Heck, you still have people who live in Oakland and Macomb county who won’t go south of Eight Mile…. You would think the place was radioactive or populated by wolfen….

      • Unpresidented Ron

        Can I tell them from Up Here? I really don’t want to have to deal with a brick through my windshield.

  • Résistance Land Shark

    Further down, I wrote: Bannon’s minions don’t have the juice to cover all this in projection and Benghazi and emails and foundations.

    The realization that Bannon and Kellyanne have no one to blame anymore must be causing the “Derp Spiral” …. panic has set in, and the only one immune to it is PENCE.

  • Shoto
  • HazooToo

    Challenge accepted?

    http://i.imgur.com/m4ucW16.png

    • Suse

      Is that Russian?

      • HazooToo

        Actually, I think it’s pure panic. That’s a language we’ve all been pretty fluent in, over the last few months!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Incredibly tragic. It’s pretty obvious that that bed really tied the Presidential Suite in the Moscow Ritz Carlton together.

    • Pisciatoiojohn

      Nihilists.

  • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

    It says we have to make pee jokes FOR EVER.

    • Rick Hill

      I held mine as long as I could….

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Once you break the seal…

    • Shoto

      It’s our patriotic duty.

    • mailman27

      My aim is true.

  • snark-lurker

    OMG YOO GUYS i needed plyers to pull 6d finish nail from doggie’s paw it was sad. very sad

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Ewwww. Poor puppy.

    • Alan

      Wash and wrap. Bad place for puncture wound.

    • Hellhathnofury Demme

      Is the doggie OK?!
      You are very brave!

      • snark-lurker

        me big sissy chicken but i…i just had to

        • Hellhathnofury Demme

          …then you’re not a big sissy chicken at all!
          You walked the walk!

    • JustDon’tSayPeePee

      I had something similar happen to my mutt, and had to irrigate the wound every day for 2 weeks. I think there was medication, too.

      That evening haunts me. Poor thing was nosing around a half-demolished deck, part of which buckled and basically hung him on a nail. The screaming was horrific. I go slightly red every time I think about it.

      But nice times: we got him fixed up, and he managed to live to 16.

      • snark-lurker

        oh fuck pardon my french but that…that…oh fuck

        • JustDon’tSayPeePee

          yeah, you get it. One of the worst nights of my life, and entirely my fault. Not a good feeling.

      • Rasilom

        Well Dogs are the best people I have ever known. I spent 3 months doing daily hydrations for my dg Boudreau. It involved inserting a medium gage IV needle into the ruff at his neck and letting a full bag of Ringers Lactate drain into him. It took about 20 min per day. He had the treatable version og kidney failure. That was the year I started making my own dog food. He had a specifit diet he could safley eat after he came out of it. I had him in my life for 6 years after that incident and it was worth every minute I spent with the IV bag snuggling him to make it as easy as possible. 2 yeaes after the kidney failure I paid $3500 to have hus hip fixed because of bone spurs. It was worth every penny. That boy loved me and I loved him. We were buds. I salute you and respect your love of your 4 footed friend. And again, dogs are the best people I have ever know, except for you fellow wonkers, you rate as equal to my dogs, wich is a major complement cause most people rate lower than gerbil shit. Enjoy and have a nice day!

        • JustDon’tSayPeePee

          Dogs are the best! Thanks for your post.
          My old fart had to have his spleen out at one point, and then later his pancreas decided to try to kill him, but somehow he got through, though he finally passed about a year after that. I miss that old hound. But:
          A couple years later, we started fostering. All kinds of dogs spent time with us, either waiting to be old enough to adopt, or healing from broken bones or skin conditions. We wound up adopting fosters 8 & 9. They are a hoot and a half!

    • miss_grundy

      Hugs to you and doggie! And give him a big kiss from me. Feel better soon, baby! You are going to be needed for hugs.

  • Bitter Scribe

    How long before Trump turns on Fox News?

    • Rick Hill

      Friday?

    • miss_grundy

      If Kellyanne shows him Shep’s commentary, he will be calling Shep overrated sometime around 3:00 A.M. tomorrow morning….

    • Picabo

      They eat there own.

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

    There is a particular passage from HST’s “Fear and Loathing: On The Campaign Trail ’72” that always resonates with me, but never more so than this year:

    Well…maybe so. This may be the year that we finally come face to face with ourselves; finally just lay back and say it–that we really are just a nation of 220 million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns, and no qualms at all about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.

    The tragedy of all this is that George McGovern, for all his mistakes and all his imprecise talk about “new politics” and “honesty in government,” is one of the few men who’ve run for President of the United States this century who really understands what a fantastic monument to all best instincts of the human race this country might have been, of we could have kept it out of the hands of greedy little hustlers like Richard Nixon.

    McGovern made some stupid mistakes, but in context they seem almost frivolous compared to the things Richard Nixon does every day of his life, on purpose, as a matter of policy and a perfect expression of everything he stands for.

    Jesus! Where will it end? How low do you have to stoop in this country to be President?

    plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose

    • Who knew hunter was a prognosticator also, too?

      • Serai 1

        Who? Just about everyone who read him.

    • Picabo

      Lower than whale shit.

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

      It’s been a long time since I’ve read that book. Thanks, Bub.

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        You’re welcome.

    • SeekingResistanceBarbie

      Do any of you other Oldz remember bumper stickers that said “Don’t blame me, I voted for McGovern”?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Yup!

  • Msgr_MΩment
  • Suse

    KaC is complaining that Drumpf gets no respect from the press.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot
    • BreakingDeadMen

      Forget about it, Suse, it’s Chinatown.

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      Nor from slightly over half of the US population!

    • OrG

      He gets none from me also too.

    • Yr. Gma

      Put your stretched out panty hose in it, KaC.

    • Aww imagine not getting respect from the people you vilify to your fans, constantly lie to, and call names 24/7
      HUH!

    • Left Coast Tom

      That’s OK, I’m pretty sure nobody here in the SF Bay Area is giving him respect either.

      Well, technically…15% of my county’s residents voted for The Deplorable, but that’s far less than the Political Crazification Factor.

      • Suse

        I’m in Alameda County – not sure who voted for him here.

        • Left Coast Tom

          So am I…we went 79-15. Somebody voted for him, I guess. Haven’t heard anyone confess.

          • theCryptofishist

            Contra Costa. 67.5 to 24.5

            Ah, wealthy suburbs…

    • Shoto

      Congenital liar Ms. Goebbels doth protest way the fuck too much.

      • BackDoorMan

        … it’s all she knows. Distract. Deny. Lie. It’s worked so far.

    • Nounverb911

      Only 4% of DC voted for him.

    • Edith Prickly

      In other glaringly obvious news, pee-pee is wet and Russian bears shit in the woods.

    • mackafritz

      So he’s Rodney Dangerfield?

    • OneYieldRegular

      “Respect” went out the door of the Trump team decades before he even ran for office, so Kellyanne Conway can just chew on her stale and meaningless words for as long as she holds that opportunistic, bullshit job.

    • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

      reporters and editors that go to school for a 4 year degree have learned things.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Well, another OHJB meme for the road…

    https://twitter.com/Leofrmdc/status/819232633473368066

  • Nounverb911
  • Shoto

    Charles Pierce writes about that press-conference-like thing that occurred earlier today.

    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a52221/donald-trump-press-conference/

    • Rick Hill

      Oh. My. Gob. It was bad enough listening to it today, torn apart by someone as smart and talented as Pierce…….

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      The Emoluments Clause argument is the exact opposite of the argument they use whenever we point out the Founders couldn’t conceive of AR-15s, hollow-point Teflon bullets, and machine guns when they wrote the Second Amendment.

    • Unpresidented Ron

      That was pure eloquence. Bravo, Mr Pierce.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    So Chris Hayes is talking about the painting being taken down and I hadn’t realized before that’s theft.

    • Suse

      Which painting?

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        I think it’s this one. Three times Republicans have removed it, and three times the Democratic Congressman who represents the District where the artist lives has put it back up. Now the Republicans have petitioned the Capitol architect to have it removed as “offensive”.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          That’s the one

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        The one in Congress Republicans keep taking down.

  • Ilgattomorte

    A lot of people have noted that first casualty of Trumpism is the truth. That may be accurate, but with that, the second casualty is satire.

    Remember when, fellow snarkers, writing about a President in a hotel room with urinating hookers would have been a heightened, satirical situation? Remember when talking about a President shutting out the press and embarrassing a reporter would have been so over the top, it would have had to have been a snarky comment? And, a President bragging about “grabbing them by the pussy” could not have been anything but a bad, dirty joke.

    Well, guys, that’s our new reality. The pendulum has swung past the bizarre and well into the surreal. Satirizing this administration is going to be challenging. I guarantee you, the minute you make a joke about a naked Donald Trump beating a disabled child with a puppy, you will see Kelly Anne Conway on TV talking about how a small, underage Hillary supporter, jumped on a puppy repeatedly, while tearing off Donald Trump’s pants.

    • Résistance Land Shark

      The surreal aspect of how the Trümpenstaffel is handling themselves is (IMHO) a fundamental flaw in their thinking. Bannon is convinced that the whole of the American electorate can be manipulated and controlled using the same methods he uses to manipulate his followers. Feed them a story that aligns with their thinking, and they will support it no matter how wrong and untruthful it is. He is banking on this.

      However, in a country with 330 million people, his method will only work on those who have bought into and follow his story lines. Kellyanne tries to perpetuate the story line as well. However, the American electorate is not a homogenous group, nor can they all be fed bullshit and led to the wrong conclusion. The surreal swing for me is the fact that they are trying to gaslight everyone using the same technique.

      It will not work. There is no one to blame for Trump’s tweeter meltdowns anymore, and every time a new boogyman is raised, the non-followers turn farther and farther away. They are beginning to think about stuff now, and realizing that Mrs Clinton isn’t saying bad things anymore, and the media isn’t all lame liars. The thin veneer of plausibility is becoming more and more transparent. This wasn’t supposed to happen in Bannon’s universe.

      The man isn’t even President yet and the protective coating of bullshit is already worn out. The emperor is truly naked, and the spotlights will continue to shine brighter and brighter on just how naked he is. You can’t tweet your way out of this anymore …. the campaign is over.

      • Ilgattomorte

        That’s beautifully stated. I hope you’re right, but at the very least, you made me feel better.

        • Résistance Land Shark

          It is a long road to undo all of the brainwashing. And no one will be able to convince everyone. But even the most ignorant person will realize that he/she stands alone in their belief. Their friends, neighbors, co-workers, and fellow church goers will be the ones to show them the truth. They will see it eventually, as they will see that the lies told about Mr Obama were exactly that: lies.

          Some people will be irredeemable. That is the sad part.

  • For the longest while I called him ‘Shemp on FOX’

    He may end up being a Shepard for the FOX Flock backin’ away from the nuclear edge…

    • Shoto

      Fox Fearotainment appears to be repackaging itself into what will effectively become “Trump TV,” a slavering, obsequious propaganda mouthpiece for the benefit of the deranged orange man-baby. That being the case (and given that a few high-profile infotainers have already jumped ship, leaving the top slots to ultra-wingnuts – Hi Bill-O!!!), I wouldn’t be surprised to see Smith bail out in the coming months. CNN or MSNBC would doubtless pick him up.

  • HazooToo
  • Suse
    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Geez Kellyanne, why the long face? I have a pocketful of sugar cubes here, maybe that’ll make you feel better. Or maybe a carrot? Would you like a nice carrot, Kellyanne?

      • Suse

        She’s 16 years younger than me and I look at least 10 years younger than she is.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Having no conscience or moral compass ages you mighty fast.

          • Résistance Land Shark

            Poor woman … the stress will be having her hair fall out before too much longer. Resign with the little dignity you have left and move to a quiet, warm climate.

      • SnarkON

        Not cool.

  • Apple Scruff

    AND another thing!!!

    What was with the fucking peanut gallery at the press conference? The applause and laughter from his employees? Jeezus Christ it’s like the guy can’t live without verbal approval from his sycophants.

    I really can’t wait until it all comes crashing down around them.

    • Jeezus Christ it’s like the guy can’t live without verbal approval from his sycophants.
      He really, really, really can’t.

      • theCryptofishist

        His Posse. Sycophants is a two dollar word–too expensive for him.

    • Suse

      That was bizarre, all right. Uday and Qusay, the lawyer, etc. He’s afraid to be alone.

    • mackafritz

      The armchair psychiatrists have it right. A severe case of narcissism. He won’t last 4 years of being hated.

      • Shoto

        The question for the Republican “leadership” is how to remove him without damaging their brand. Not too high of a hurdle, but it will be (is) a consideration. The other problem is timing. If it were me, I’d want him out quickly, so as to put as much time between the event and the next election, which would be the mid-terms in this case.

        Oh, and fuck Turtle-Boy McConnell and ZEGS Ryan. Truly vile scumbags in every sense of the term.

    • Ωbjectifier

      They were plants. Really.

    • SnarkON

      When do you think that’s gonna happen?

      • Apple Scruff

        I don’t know. But it will. They’re all a bunch of buffoons, none of them are smart enough to pull this off.

        • Unpresidented Ron

          Which seems like extra proof he’s being run by someone smarter, even if he’s too stupid to notice.

      • Hellhathnofury Demme

        All I know, is NOT SOON ENOUGH!

    • Markuserektus

      He’s a bona fide teevee personality and ratings machine.

  • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Piss!

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Penis.

      • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

        Also too.

    • OneYieldRegular

      To get to the other Russian hooker’s piss?

  • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

    My goat has no nose.

    How does it smell?

    Piss!

  • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

    A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. Piss!

  • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

    Take my wife. Piss!

  • Nick.Trite

    Anyone else freezing to death up here in snowy Portland? I lost power last night and we still don’t have it back. Thank God I invested in one hell of a portable phone charger before this snowmaggedon.

    • WomanInTheResistance
      • SnarkON

        Rasta weenie dog!

        • WomanInTheResistance

          He’s a proud dachshund-chihuahua-yorkie. And cute as hell, I must say.

      • Nick.Trite

        I’m loving it! Pictures of puppers in the snow are pretty much the only good thing about snow days

      • Sister Artemis

        What a little trooper!

        • WomanInTheResistance

          He is! When I finally got home, I took him out. Please realize that the snow is actually deeper than he is tall. A young woman was walking down the street, saw Thor, and absolutely cracked up. He was sort of hopping/swimming and looking determined and soooooo cute.

      • Hellhathnofury Demme

        Awww!
        Totally adorable!

        • WomanInTheResistance

          Thanks. Your grand-dog too!

    • I am sorry and hope it is back soon!
      I recommend, if you have it, a down comforter. And snugglings.

      • Nick.Trite

        I thankfully had the foresight to grab the warmest comforter I could find at IKEA after the first storm this year, because that was the moment I realized I was in completely over my head in this frozen hell tundra.

    • OrG

      Yep,as i was shoveling off the sidewalk I could hear Jeff Gianola saying “56 year old Portland man dies of heart attack shoveling snow.” I made it though.

      • Nick.Trite

        Yikes! Thankfully, my landlords were nice enough to shovel the snow from my house.

    • Serai 1

      This is why I still have a landline.

    • Hellhathnofury Demme
      • Nick.Trite

        Can I super like? Look at that pupper.

        • Hellhathnofury Demme

          Rescued from a hoarder with 40(!) puppies.
          She is friendly, confident, and curious with strangers and other dogs!
          Truly, Ina (as in Garten), Ginsberg (as in Ruth Bader), Jeter (as in Derek), is a grand dog to be proud of!

  • Ωbjectifier

    Here’s what I don’t get. Supposedly he paid hookers to pee on the bed the Obamas previously slept on. How is that supposed to get at them, how is that revenge? If they peed on it before they slept there, that would make sense.

    Sad Weak

    • msanthropesmr

      I would have saran wrapped the toilet.

      • Ωbjectifier

        Classics never go out of style.

    • It is revenge in very very petty small minds. As if he had to defile the very bed they slept in. Because they slept in it. So that henceforth it would no longer be the bed that the Obamas slept on, but the bed the hookers peed on.

    • SnarkON

      Also, really, why does New Hitler hate Obama so much in the first place? It’s not like he didn’t do well financially during the Obama administration. What’s his huge beef?

      • Sister Artemis
        • Ωbjectifier

          It predates that. Trump was deeply birther before that night.

          • Serai 1

            Yeah, but that’s the night he decided to ruin Obama’s legacy.

          • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

            Yeah. I think it had something to do with the president being black.

        • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

          Also something about people he doesn’t want touching his money. Tom Arnold probably has more details.

      • Serai 1

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8TwRmX6zs4

        Trump has been stewing for FIVE YEARS over this nonsense.

      • Tallmutha

        The Correspondents’ Dinner was part of it. Another part is that he’s noticed how slavishly a lot of people will upfist him and stroke his ego when he goes out of the normal bounds of discourse and takes “political incorrectness” to the farthest extremes. That kind of ego gratification delivers a jolt that can’t really be approached with saying things like “I think the Obamas are fine people.”

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      You expect anything Donald Trump does, especially revenge, to make sense?

      Boy, you ask for a lot doncha?

    • Serai 1

      You don’t understand the narcissistic mind. It doesn’t matter that it doesn’t actually hurt Obama. It only matters that the Orange got to see the bed get pissed on. It’s all about HIM.

      Oh, and for those going on about how Obama wouldn’t stay at a hotel? That doesn’t matter, either. Only that the Asshole THINKS Obama stayed there. Hell, the Russians might have told him that just to see if he’d do anything vile they could record.

  • Picabo

    Going to sleep now. I will leave you with Miles Davis.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqNTltOGh5c

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    today I was eating lunch at this museum I volunteer at when one of my fellow volunteer’s husband brought her lunch. As we ate, He talked about how much he was impressed by Trump’s cabinet and how he loved watching Tillerson and Sessions ran rings around congress. I froze not sure what to do. I wanted to scream how wrong he was but i decided it was a execrise in futility. I am not sure how i’ll last the next four years. Everyone around me seems to think we should wait and see or how wonderful he is.I feel alone like I am the only person who can see the cliff coming. I geniunely feel like theres not going to be a tommorow once Trumpy is president

    • Suse

      I’m effing sick of hearing crap like, “Give him a chance.” How can these people not see him for what he is?

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        I wanted to yell that so many times. “Why are you so blind!”

        • Serai 1

          They aren’t blind. They’re just not going to admit their mistake to you.

          • Alexander Stallwitz

            Its why i dont bother, it would be a excerise in futility

          • Tallmutha

            What I think about these situations is: Yes, it’s an exercise in futility in that you won’t change their minds. But still, they shouldn’t be allowed to just spout their shit without pushback. They should be forced to realize how many people see their crap for what it is. I say, confront them. I know I won’t make any converts but at least I won’t allow them to stay living in their echo chamber and believing that everybody either agrees with them or is silenced by their awesome show of conviction.

      • OneYieldRegular

        It’s not even not seeing him for what he is, since he has explicitly told us, again and again, who he is. It’s a willful disregard of what he has told us all explicitly.

        • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

          Or willful support.

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        Have has been “given a chance” all his fucking life. Because his dad had money, because he had money, because he was famous, because he was notorious, because he had political influence, because he owed so much to the banks that they could not afford to pull the rug out from under him. Because he was lawyered up, and people were scared of him. Because he increased ratings and circulation. Because the Republican party is utterly shameless in its mendacity and lust for power. Because many, many people are stupid, ignorant and racist, and the lies and blandishments of the GOP worked on them.

        He has been given innumerable chances, and now the United States of America is funding out what, finally, “giving him a chance” all those myriad times will really entail. What chance does America have, with Donnie in the Oval Office?

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Apparently being rich gives you infinite continues in the Game of Life.

        • CatCafe de la Resistance

          Beautifully put.

      • shivaskeeper

        Not wanting to admit they got conned is a big part of it.

      • Edith Prickly

        Why should Trump need a chance? He’s had decades as a public figure to show what sort of person he is, and no one except himself thought he was suited to be President. I’ve loathed that creep since the 1980s. He seemed like a cheap, self-obsessed con man back then and every new bit of information that’s come out since he decided to run for office has reinforced that impression. That doesn’t really help you cope with people who think he’s great – I think I would probably say something like “are we talking about the same Donald Trump?” and let the awkward silence fall.

      • CatCafe de la Resistance

        I just answered this very thing, to a friend of a friend on FB (she was “defending” him against my friend’s sad outrage). I said “We did give him a chance, and he showed us vicious racism, bigotry, and vulgar misogyny; he incited violence; he made common cause with neoNazis and white supremacists; he colluded with an enemy state; he lined his own pockets with campaign funds. And since being elected, he’s appointed one disastrous, destructive person after another, while forcing taxpayers to pay millions of dollars to Secret Service to guard his own property–which he then pockets. He has openly appointed positions to the highest bidder. This is way past “giving him a chance.” At this point, any decent person needs to stand up and protest. We wonder why the “good Germans” didn’t speak out sooner. This is what speaking out looks like.” And they said “Oh, my, Catcafe, you’re SO right! I have seen the light and will join the protests!” (They didn’t.) But if enough of us keep hammering it home…. also, “We’re not butthurt, we’re trying to warn you.”

        • grindstone

          This is my response these days:
          I watched him impersonate a disabled person. I listened to him talk about grabbing women by the pussy. I heard him incite racism.

          So did you. But you “gave him a chance” and voted for him. He had his chance with me and proved he was horrible. If he wasn’t “horrible enough” for you, then what is??
          And now that I know this about you, you have lost all credibility with me. All.

          • CatCafe de la Resistance

            Oh, that is wonderful. MUCH better. I love it. MInd if I borrow it?

          • grindstone

            Have at it. But not instead of yours, included with, ’cause yours is good, friend!

    • Jenny

      Sounds like Texas.

    • Courser

      Same here. And many countries across the globe are dealing with potential authoritarian regimes. It looks like we might fall first, which is horrifying. There will be no place safe on earth. Except *maybe* Canada, if Justin can hang in there.

      • Unpresidented Ron

        We’ll keep him on track, despite a few Cons making gee-wouldn’t-it-be-great-if-Donnie-was-OUR-leader noises. Canadians dislike being told what to do. Oh, we nod politely… and then we do whatever the hell we think is best anyway.

        • Courser

          I like that about Canadians!

      • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

        Or maybe the sight of the US falling will scare others.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Stay strong. These idiots are the ones who will be most hurt. True believers are rediculous. May I offer you areyousorryyet.com? I have found it soothing.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Soothing? I find it enraging that so many Americans are that abysmally stooopid.

    • Serai 1

      Laugh. That’s the only response possible that will not make you either tense with rage or feel like a pussy because you have no response. Just laugh. If they ask what’s funny, laugh harder and then leave.

    • shivaskeeper

      The few people I interact with who are still spouting the “wait and see before we judge” bullshit are the ones who are reusing to admit they may have been conned or made a mistake.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        The concern trolls with the “wait and see before you judge” lines have been cracking me the fuck up all day. One actually said that they had accepted Obama and we should do the same for Trump. I wrote “Bullshit”, posted this picture and the link to the list of all the assassination attempts. She got offended. Now who’s fee fees are hurting?
        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassination_threats_against_Barack_Obama
        https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/800/0*HqUQrmnpvOGo3kMI.jpg

        • shivaskeeper

          “They” as a whole never accepted him and “they” as individuals never did either. We both know that. I’ll guarantee you though that the individual “theys” out there have or will shortly be rewriting their personal history to include the exact whatever it was that made them not accept Pres Obama.

          I hope that makes as much sense as I think it does.

    • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

      You should have said something. Here’s my testimonial: *ahem* *standing up*
      I was at work on afternoon and overheard the office Rush Limbaugh fan lecturing the other guys in his group plus a youth from another group about how the election of Trump was perfectly fine. The youth mentioned the talk about how the popular vote went to Clinton. Then the Rush fan brought up the lie that all 3 million votes were illegal. I started debating whether or not to say anything just like you did but something in me (I imagine it was Barry’s voice) said stand up and speak up. So I walked over to the gathering and said as loudly as I could “That’s not true. There’s no way 3 million people could coordinate a massive illegal vote. You’re wrong.” And within seconds Rush fan walked away with nothing to say. The rest of the group just laughed it off and said “Hey, good for you. Calling him out.” They may have been just trying to play nice but I took it as a personal victory because I haven’t heard that man talk politics near me ever again.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        The truth will set you free.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Way to go! Good on you, and YOOOGE congratulations.

    • Hellhathnofury Demme

      What an ass!

    • suziq

      Hmmm, if they were actually talking about it I would probably have said “wow, you think it is okay to have the head of the EPA not believe in climate change, head of Labor to be a fast-food douche who doesn’t believe in minimum wage, Education person who doesn’t believe in public schools etc? That is the craziest thing I have ever heard!” and smile nicely like maybe you didn’t really believe them because that is just stupid. Unfortunately or maybe fortunately(?) nobody will engage in conversations about it any more. You are either on the same side or enemies that won’t change their minds anyway. Sadly, I would guess volunteering at a museum would put you in close proximity to some idle rich types who think workers rights and health care and food and education are really not too important if you don’t have the big bucks for it.

    • CatCafe de la Resistance

      Well, soon enough he’ll feel the pain as they blow up his health insurance, gas prices soar, and take away his Mom’s medicare. We just have to wait for them to actually feel the pain. They’re such astonishingly hateful morons. Is it just sheer misogyny? The willful refusal to look at the facts in front of them? Racism? What is it that’s making them so happy with Trump that they’ll literally pretend there’s no problem? It’s like they’ve happily voted in Joe-Bob from the Feed Store to run the fire department, even while their house is smoldering and about to burst into flames. But it’s NOT Muriel, that uppity bitch? Or that weird Muslin guy with the dark skin? Is that it?

    • CindyinEncinitas

      It’s the panic that I find hardest to deal with.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        For me, its this horrifying feeling of contempt for everyone creeping into me, i feel more and more like “god, everyone i know is stupid” this saddens me greatly

    • Roni Resistance Raven

      The Southern method works well. You can ask Evan.

      Meaning, give a condescending smile, say “Bless your heart,” and then focus attention elsewhere.

      Logic will get you nowhere with people who haven’t a passing acquaintance with it.

  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith
  • SnarkON

    Has anyone pointed out yet, here or anywhere, that there’s pretty much no chance any U.S. president would ever stay at a hotel in Moscow–where the security would not be tight enough to please the Secret Service? They’d stay at an embassy or something.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Will the Russian hookers be allowed into the embassy?

      • SnarkON

        I meant that it seems pretty unlikely the Obamas ever would have stayed at the Moscow Ritz Carlton. But, sure, why not hookers in an embassy?

    • Ωbjectifier

      Shit, the Russian cameras at the embassy are IMAX!

    • jowgajen

      The President and First Lady did stay at the Ritz Carlton in Moscow in 2009. Prior Presidential trips also used Moscow hotels, with the Hyatt mentioned for Bill Clinton.

    • Scrofula

      He wasn’t a Pres then. The Obamas? FSB could easily convince trump that the conveniently rubber-wrapped bed was the one they used.

    • Markuserektus

      Donnie Moscow haz a private security force. Only the best security.

    • shivaskeeper

      Secret Service does what Secret Service does and I’m sure they would be able to sweep and clear a room of bugs and whatnot, but high end hotels are pretty common for Presidents to stay in. The buildings themselves are fairly well hardened with decent security built in as they would be potential high profile targets anyway.

      ETA: Staying in an Embassy would be considered a diplomatic snub for the most part. Not trusting the hosting nation to be able to protect you sort of thing.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        The US rejected the embassy in Moscow because the bugs were built into it. So when during the “press conference” when he had the meltdown over “tiny little cameras”, I was laughing my ass off. Yeah, the Obamas had stayed in that room, but they are cool enough to keep their shit straight. Trump, not so much.
        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Embassy_of_the_United_States,_Moscow

  • Courser

    Jesus, it looks like Michael Moore spit all over Chris Matthews glasses. I can see it in the camera shots that look through one of the lenses. And he acts like it’s normal.

    • Suse

      You mean Hayes?

      • Courser

        Doh! Yes, of course.

  • HazooToo

    I may be a werewolf, if true. http://i.imgur.com/sUHljf2.jpg

    • mackafritz

      I don’t like heights so i might be a bird.

      • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

        I don’t like to read so I might be super smart.

      • Hellhathnofury Demme

        I don’t like heights either, so I would be the worst bird ever.

  • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy
    • Ωbjectifier

      Why is it running backward?

      • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

        Dunno. Can I make it go in reverse?

    • Résistance Land Shark

      That’s just nasty. Oh, and the turds are kinda creepy also too.

      • Serai 1

        Yeah, that’s too far for me. Can’t laugh because it just makes me ill.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Sorry, I have to hide this one. I love you, but no. no. nope.

  • Scrofula

    Howdy, everyone over the piss stuff yet?
    Is it safe to come back and bitch about how it won’t make one bit of difference?
    Sorry, I’m still “pissed” from yesterday.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      It say, “pee jokes, FOR EVER!”. Jes lookit, right up theah.

    • Résistance Land Shark

      Piss Hookers is the new dick joke around these parts. The rest of us are watching the cardboard suit disintegrate before our very eyes.

      • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

        I wish he would take his followers with him too.

    • Rick Hill

      Well….Idk. He’s going in, no matter what. He’s going to do something terrible, no matter what. Demeaning him helps strip him of support and he will do the terrible things out of anger and petty spite sooner than later and so, is that good or not?

      • Scrofula

        Oh, I know, piss on ‘im. More jokes is better, GIVEN the four years we got ‘im.
        I’m still pissed though.

      • theCryptofishist

        If it gets him out sooner, yes. Qualified by Penceditions[1], of course.

        [1] Pencidations being a smushed together word of Pence and trepidations. Or maybe treypaning, because we may need holes in our heads soon.

    • Apple Scruff

      The piss and hookers stuff won’t matter (unless the tape comes out, oh please let the tape come out). But the colluding with Russians thing is going to continue to be investigated.

      But we also know how touchy he is on the small hands joke and that’s 30 years old. The golden showers will surely haunt him for the rest of his life and that’s only a good thing.

    • TJ Barke

      We’re gonna be milking (ew) those piss jokes for months to come(ew).

  • Suse

    Rachel is exposing Exxon’s holdings in Russia. Good stuff.

    • Apple Scruff

      So she is saying only Rubio needs to vote “no” on Tillerson and as long as all the Dems all vote “no”, Tillerson is done?

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Rubio isn’t the only one disturbed by Tillerson.

    • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

      Rubio is making dissenting remarks until he figures out how those Exxon stock options will end up in his mother-in-laws Etrade account.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Dunno. I’m willing to allow Rubio some room here to mature. Some.

    • btwbfdimho

      A must see.
      It’s all about the sanctions against Russia + Oil money.
      Rachel basically follows this article:
      https://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/12/world/europe/rex-tillersons-company-exxon-has-billions-at-stake-over-russia-sanctions.html

  • Rick Hill

    So…has anyone been saying how preznitial turnip looked today?

    • Suse

      Only his toadies.

      • Rick Hill

        I havent even heard any of that

    • o’look Skwerl!

      Emperor Commodus thought he looked the part. Now excuse him while he sticks thorns in his butt and walks backwards through Rome.

    • BadKitty904

      “…like a pig stuck in a gate” leaps to mind.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I haven’t heard that.

      Last night, when #goldenshower and #PEEOTUS were trending, the alt-right guys were posting crap about 4chan and reddit and no one was engaging with them. Just posting all kinds about Trump, Russian Hookers and Urine. You’ve seen the memes spread. Penthouse posted that they were offering $1M for the tape, which started another flurry of fun. When a couple of alt-right guys came at me, I laughed and said, “you know when you use the #goldenshower or #PEEOTUS tag, you are actually helping us trend the jokes, right?” That got retweeted a lot and the traffic died down. Just as I was going to take a nap at 2, the Europeans woke up and oh, my God did they have a field day.
      Then the Trumpanzees are on the attack on FB after the press conference. They are really out of control. The Christian ones are going around “praying” and “blessing” people that aren’t buying their shit. There are a lot of concern trolls. And then the ones that lash out.
      It’s been a good day for John McCain. I have been unfriending Friends that don’t moderate their timelines. Block people that are going from post to post spamming. There were people starting arguments and threatening to block us. Which generated a lot of laughter ~ sure block me, I don’t give a shit. I have had people trying to follow mu public posts that are sock puppets, blocked them.
      It’s like every cockroach came out from the woodwork. Be careful out there in social media land.

      • WomanInTheResistance

        You be careful!

  • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

    And why do we care about Fox News? And my video for the evening is David Bowie from 1999. http://www.npr.org/sections/alltechconsidered/2016/01/12/462744754/david-bowie-the-internet-visionary

  • Rick Hill

    So. Way ot. Had a hot toddy, my first. Doesn’t seem to really do much. Is it one of those things that just don’t work but, hey, had some whiskey.? Also, if you want to warm it up, dot microwave it too much. Adding too much heat seems to make it mobile and it doesn’t stay in the vessel. Though, I’m sure you don’t need anyone to teach you how to suck eggs…

    • Suse

      They’re great if you have a cold.

    • Reddishrabbit

      Personally I love mulled wine. Normally just have a pot going all winter. If it is real cold, butter rum is good. Not the healthiest, but hey, who knows how long we have with Trump in charge. Also if it is too hot the alcohol can get burnt off.

    • Vienna Woods

      Make sure you’ve got lemon juice in there. That is key. And I like demerara sugar to sweeten things up. And I use rum, not whiskey. Dark rum.
      Hot rum teddies saved my life when I was on a picket line back in 1998. Every half hour or so headed to my car and took a swig from thermos.

  • Suse

    I’m actually proud of Little Marco going after Tillerson today. Can’t believe I’m saying this.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Wonder how much it will cost to buy him off?

      • Suse

        He’s a slimeball, but I hope not that much of a slimeball.

        • DoILookAmused2u ?

          We’re down to hoping for Rubio to have integrity and Tom Cotton’s stopped clock, and maybe John McCain and Lindsey Graham to stop the Exxon-Russia-Trump Kleptocratic merger.

          • Suse

            Weird depending on rethugs to do the right thing.

          • DoILookAmused2u ?

            I can think of about 37 billion reasons why Rex Tillerson won’t based on the one find they have made in Russia so far.

            750 M bl * $50/bbl for the one exploratory well already drilled.

          • Courser

            I know. I do remember a time when there were always a few middle-ground folks that could be swayed. The ReThug party has moved WAAAY the fuck right into crazyland.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      And Rachel is so on her game lately. Running low on popcorn and wine.

      • Suse

        She should win a Pulitzer for her coverage of the Flint water thing.

    • Scrofula

      Saw that on ABC News. That was good.

    • Rick Hill

      Well, it goes in the same category of Graham standing up to trump. Not sure what that category is but I dont think its genuine pride

      • Marion in Savannah

        I’m going with stunned surprise myself.

      • Apple Scruff

        Drumpf has been antagonizing them for over year (along with McCain). He can’t expect all of the GOP to bend over for him after what he’s put them through.

        • Rick Hill

          You’d be surprised. trump thinks he won all the marbles now everyone must kiss his ring

    • BadKitty904

      Excuse me?

    • Given all the people Trump pissed on to win the presidency, it will be fun to watch as all of them get their revenge.

    • cmd resistor

      Just sent him a Thanks, Marco, email and said please vote no.

    • SayItWithOtters

      He thinks he gets to be Veep after the impeachment.

  • boyblue123

    I like how a guy who started the birther movement and claimed there was a sex tape of Alicia Machado is outraged that there is intel out there that claims Russian hookers peed on him.

    All of sudden, according to him, every news outlet is spreading fake news

  • Hellhathnofury Demme

    Sorry if this has been posted:
    Marie Osmond has offered to sing (or sell Nutri-System?) for trump.
    She says we should be “united” and “support our president.”
    BARF!

    • Suse

      No! Run away, Marie!!!

    • Résistance Land Shark

      As the Shark pup often says, “Is she dead?”

      • BadKitty904

        Hard to tell, really.

    • boyblue123

      How does the rest of the Mormon community feel about that?

      • Hellhathnofury Demme

        Maybe she can perform with the MTC (still surprised by that).

    • Résistance Land Shark

      Speaking of Mormons …. remember those Quaint Olde Tymes™ when electing a Mormon as President was a horrible thing to some people? Good tymes, good tymes ….

      • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

        Has Turnip even pretended to have any religious affiliation? On the bright side, perhaps he’s paving the way for non-Christians (and alt-Christians). Wouldn’t that be sweetly ironic.

    • Pisciatoiojohn

      Urine over your head, dear.

      Oh, come on, someone was going to do it.

      • CatCafe de la Resistance

        She just wanted to make a splash.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Well, that’s A-list. Or at least a tiny step up from Scott Baio.

      • Marion in Savannah

        I just saw an ad for some awful new cooking show on The Food Channel that has [gag] Andrew Dice Clay. Maybe he’s Z-list enough to be willing to perform at the inurination…

        • WomanInTheResistance

          What on earth will he cook? Meth?

    • TJ Barke

      You mean the one that actually won the actual vote? Not the technicality vote? Okay.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Who?

  • Suse

    DiFi had a pacemaker installed today.

    • Markuserektus

      Well, dang…hope she does ok.

  • shivaskeeper

    Fucking Disqus. That is all.

    • Suse

      Just keep hitting “sort by newest.”

      • WomanInTheResistance

        Thanks. That’s helping.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Are you having issues too? I’ve reloaded this thread more times than I can count. And I have very good counting skills.

      • shivaskeeper

        Yeah. The sort by newest seems to work, No new message are showing up otherwise, no new replies to anybody. No new notifications.

        • WomanInTheResistance

          It’s reassuring to know that I’m not alone.

      • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

        Rooshian hack? Thanks Donald. We’ll stop with the pee jokes, ok?

        • WomanInTheResistance

          We will never stop with the pee jokes.

      • Courser

        Me too. I don’t get updates and have to refresh all the time.

  • HazooToo

    This is beautiful. Click it. Clickitclickitclickitclickit. http://imgur.com/gallery/FMvXC

  • Nounverb911
    • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

      The rendering of the Children of the Corn is way to flattering.

  • Nounverb911
    • Unpresidented Ron

      Classical allusions. Love it.

    • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

      Now, this is good shit.

  • Nounverb911
    • CatCafe de la Resistance

      This is more true than we can even imagine. Of his supporters even more so.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Then what is the point of a Court of Human Rights?

    A Swiss couple had no legal grounds for keeping their Muslim daughters out of mandatory swim classes with boys at their co-ed school, the European Court of Human Rights has ruled.

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/01/11/europe/muslim-children-swimming-switzerland-trnd/index.html

    • TJ Barke

      Did the girls want to do it?

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Honestly, I don’t think we will know until they become emancipated and given a chance to reflect. Also, to be transparent, when I was in HS, I had an undiagnosed heart valve condition that prevented me from doing extended laps in the pool even though I could run short distances very fast. My Vietnam veteran coach punished me for slacking. I hate him decades later.

        • HS coaches have a reserved space in hell.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot
    • o’look Skwerl!

      Who cares?

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      By Grabthar’s hammer, we live to tell Pete to stuff it up his Jefferies tube!

    • Marion in Savannah

      So, if a transporter makes things how come I never got stuff on the bus or subway? I haz a confooze…

      • natoslug

        And not once has Jason Statham stopped by to cook me a nice meal. Transporter, my ass!

    • suziq

      haha, that is what his takeaway from Star Wars was? And maybe he didn’t get past the first episode of Star Trek or something if he thinks everything you want is transported onto the Enterprise. I’m a gonna guess the reason you don’t see money is because they are mostly on the ship, I assume they don’t have to buy their own food or whatever. That Peter Thiel is sure a fine human being! Or is he??!?!??

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        He thinks he’s a Ferengi, but he hasn’t got the lobes for it!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      He needs to read Trekonomics, which delves into the concept of a post-need society (i.e. what happens to an economy where everything is essentially free?)

    • Jamoche

      tl;dr version: “I want the universe where I get to own people”

    • Juan de Fuca

      I’m only a Star Wars nerd because I’ve always to repel from an AT-AT.

      • TJ Barke

        That’s not a great sign…

        • Juan de Fuca

          It all depends upon perspective.

          • TJ Barke
          • Juan de Fuca

            I always wanted to be an Airborne paratrooper for the U.S. Army and America because I saw a movie where Stormtroopers repelled from an AT-AT. And I did it!!11!!

            I’ve also got your back, even though I’m getting older now. Might need some of you younger folks to step up and become legit X-Wing pilots.

          • TJ Barke

            They never showed the stormtroopers repelling from the AT-ATs…

          • Juan de Fuca

            Ahh…fair enough TJ. I read about it in some nerd story way back or something. Bro tip for getting laid – stop being ^that^ guy.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            I rappelled off of sheer granite cliffs as an ROTC cadet before The Empire Strikes Back even came out. Hell, I was a second looey when The Empire Strikes Back came out!

          • Juan de Fuca

            I rappelled off a sheer granite cliff in Germany a few years before I went to ABN school in Georgia. Was terrified.

            Both times.

      • Unpresidented Ron

        A noble motive, my friend.

    • Left Coast Tom

      I thought he was going to build one of those loonytarian “cities” out on some platform in the ocean. Why is he still bothering us?

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Because no one wants to live on a rusty barge with this mope?

      • TJ Barke

        He wants to take his parasitism to whole new levels!

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Since when does the plot of “Star Wars” start with Han Solo?!? What a fucking moran.

    • TJ Barke

      The takeaway is that he prefers a society that has fucking debt slavery.
      Fucking piece of shit.

      • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

        The takeaway for me is that he doesn’t understand Star Trek OR Star Wars, and should turn in his Nerd badge ASAP.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      EW!

    • Not to be pedantic, but the plot of star wars does not start with Han’s debt.
      The end of Empire Strikes back mentions that, but the plot itself starts with the princess securing the information in the droids.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        It’s okay, be pedantic. I mean Ross Douthat came to Thiel’s defense by claiming that transporters and replicators are the same because they “basically work on the same principles”, which is like saying a Gremlin and a Corvette are the same because they work on the same basic principles.

      • Vienna Woods

        A new hope mentions his debts also, too, but there’s no way that they are the main problem of the story. Nowhere near. I wish I didn’t depend on paypal to get paid for my freelance writing.

    • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

      Thiel thinks he’s clever.
      “:When I ask about the incestuous amplification of the Facebook news feed, he muses: “There’s nobody you know who knows anybody. There’s nobody you know who knows anybody who knows anybody, ad infinitum.””

  • Nounverb911

    Sen Warren introduces bill that will piss of Donnie.
    https://twitter.com/SenWarren/status/819341964797734916

    • Unpresidented Ron

      And this, mes amis, is why it was a good idea to keep her in the Senate.

  • Nounverb911
    • boyblue123

      So what if a bunch of Drumpf Towers are soft terror targets when he becomes POTUS. ;)

      • alpacapunchbowl

        If I lived in a Trump-branded building I’d be desperate to sell.

        • boyblue123

          me too…id be out of there ASAP

      • How else are you going to pay for security with the tax payer’s dime?

  • Treg Brown
    • Marion in Savannah

      Actually they look much more like they just finished killing a high end escort…

      • Beowoof14

        I could see them as the stars in a Rope remake.

        • BadKitty904

          But minus the talent.

      • TJ Barke

        Fo’ sho’.

      • Résistance Land Shark

        That’s the “Be cool, Bro” look. “They’ll never find the bodies ….”

    • BadKitty904

      Uday and Ixnay look like they just got cleaned up after dumping the body in the desert.

    • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

      They also look like high end escorts themselves.

      • BadKitty904

        Ew.

      • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

        If by escort you mean beyond repulsive.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Uday on the left, Qusay on the right.

    • WomanInTheResistance
  • Apple Scruff

    I can’t do anything but laugh whenever King Drumpf’s speeches are transcribed into print (I think someone down thread posted this already).

    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a52221/donald-trump-press-conference/

    “I look very much forward to the inauguration. It’s going to be a beautiful event. We have great talent, tremendous talent. And we have the—all of the bands—or most of the bands are from the different—from the different segments of the military. And I’ve heard some of these bands over the years, they’re incredible. We’re going to have a very, very elegant day. The 20th is going to be something that will be very, very special; very beautiful. ”

    He literally has 20 words in his entire vocabulary and he just keeps repeating them hoping to sound smart.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      3rd-4th grade vocabulary.

    • Résistance Land Shark

      And the really classy part will be the 200,000 women marching on the 21st. That will be yooge! The best!

      • WomanInTheResistance

        Please don’t underestimate the number. That’s KellyAnne’s job.

        • Résistance Land Shark

          I didn’t mean to underestimate it …. that was the last figure I had read. My local burg has four buses going, so that 250 people right there. I want to see the photograph of the National Mall completely filled with protesters. I think that will happen and lots, lots more.

          • WomanInTheResistance

            And don’t forget the protests going on throughout the country. They will be yuuuuuge.

    • shivaskeeper

      Filler words to cover up he has no fucking clue what he’s talking about.

      ETA: Yooouge, very, incredible, tremendous, All those and many, many others are filler words.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “different segments of the military”

      Oy, vey. What a schmuck.

      • Roni Resistance Raven

        Hey! Show the soon-to-be commander-in-chief-of-the-segments a little respect!

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    OT- so I’m apparently explicitly and by name cut out of the will, which is even shittier than it sounds bc my father had no money, and all I want are the things left over from when he was married to my mother. Ain’t life (and death) grand?

    • Suse

      Well, crap.

    • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

      Sorry to hear. this coming from a fellow black sheep.

    • shivaskeeper

      That sucks.

    • Resistance Engineer Red Bird

      Not good. :(

    • Courser

      I’m so sorry, that’s awful.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      That’s a terrible thing for him to do. But it’s all on him, not you.

    • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

      I arranged things in writing with my siblings and other relatives that they would “sell me” items for “monetary value”, which in most cases is 0. These things tend to be things that are only valuable to members of the family. They then wrote me a letter stating that it was now mine and they gave it to me. I filed the letter in a safe deposit box. You can always have it notarized. Pain in the ass, but my mother left everything to my sob abusive father who although divorced from my mother got her to change her will when she had dementia. He didn’t care about the personal stuff, so I did that. He signed it. You could try that?

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        I have tried to explain this to my brother, who is one of the world’s pure souls, that he should just ask her for the things that my father had before they got married, and especially if they had a connection with my mother, but to leave me out of it. And he doesn’t understand. He thinks if he explains that this is for both of us, she’ll relent. I’m like, she’s going to keep both of us from that stuff if she has any idea that I’m part of this.

        • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

          Oh man. This is a tough situation. I hope it turns out ok. Family stuff, especially wills, trusts, etc. just suck.

    • BadKitty904

      Wtf?

    • Unpresidented Ron

      If it helps to know, my oh-so-wonderful siblings manipulated my mother so I was cut out of the whole estate, and it was BIG – large house in Toronto, waterfront cottage in the Kawarthas. I was so cut out that her obituary notice didn’t even mention me or my daughters. They must have split a good half million if not more. And yeah, there were things of my father’s that I would have liked as mementos. I suppose they ended up on eBay…

  • Ezio Auditore

    So apparently Chuck Todd was trying to go after the Buzzfeed editor. Chuck apparently doesn’t know what irony is because he’s the last person who should be attacking someone over “fake news”.

    • Suse

      He’s a Drumpf shill.

    • Count Awesome

      The perfect irony for Trump would be to have to live in the box that one of his Trump Brand® products came in which he USED to own.

  • memzilla Ω
    • boyblue123

      Trump has probably praised Putin more than he has praised himself too

      • shivaskeeper

        Look man, we all appreciate hyperbole here, but could you try to keep it in the realm of reality? Trump praise someone more than himself? UNPOSSIBLE. /s

    • Count Awesome

      Only a fool bites the hand that feeds him.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    So Rex has those Exxon preferred shares in his trust.

    What does Trump get if Exxon and Putin’s buddy get their hands on 750 million barrels of oil already discovered in the Pobeda field?

  • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

    COMPLETELY NOT PEE RELATED

    Wallingford Riegger (April 29, 1885 – April 2, 1961), neglected American modernist composer. String Quartet No. 2, Op. 43 (1948).
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwmOwB2HkkU
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bmi2angibg

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Someone may have already posted this back on Monday (it seems so long ago!) and I didn’t see it, but I can’t stop watching this on repeat and cracking up. It may actually funnier without the sound, but I’ll leave you to decide for yourself.
    So, I cannot stop watching this and cracking up https://www.instagram.com/p/BPCd47bhMRu/

  • Treg Brown

    Good news.

    Trump has apparently scored The B Street Band, “America’s number one Bruce Springsteen cover band.” to play at the inaugural.

    We’re number one! We’re number one!

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/01/trump-finally-lands-big-name-inaugural-act-americas-number-one-bruce-springsteen-cover-band/

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2a4c82d8463bec517fd9c55bcab1b96a5a108ed274bc99a713172264d45153a4.png

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      You have to pay many rubles for number 1.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      It’s appropriate that he got the B team. Or whatever they call themselves. And Bruce will probably have something to say about that.

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      Sad. Weak. Over-rated.

    • Rick Hill

      What? Its B, thats a lot more letters closer to A than E. That means its better. Only showbiz people know this!!

    • boyblue123

      Can Springsteen sue for copyright infringment

    • Left Coast Tom

      Who are these people?

      • Suse

        A-Listers!

        • Left Coast Tom

          Yep, there on a list. Somewhere.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      At this point, just hiring a DJ to spin all night would be less embarrassing.

      • Treg Brown

        I’d heard they asked Moby. Who responded in his own way :- )

    • BadKitty904

      Is that Dom DeLuise, second from the left?

    • I wonder if Trump knows he will still be paying royalties to the Boss. Who dissed him.

    • chiefkurtz
  • Blacktop Autumn

    OT, but Disqus is not updating itself for me anymore. I have to refresh. Fix?

    • Unpresidented Ron

      Keep refreshing. That’s all that works.

      • Blacktop Autumn

        So, it’s broked?

      • TJ Barke

        Ugh, what is this? 2009?

    • WomanInTheResistance

      I’ve tried everything in my shabby little tool kit. It’s just broken.

      • Blacktop Autumn

        Even cursing at it and hitting it with a blunt object?

        • WomanInTheResistance

          Lower down the thread, Suze suggested just keep hitting sort by newest. It seems to be helping a bit. And this is the second night in a row that Disqus has had issues.

    • Face-punching?

    • Left Coast Tom

      I’m having the same problem.

    • Jamoche

      We could all file bugs on it; enough of them and they might notice.

    • Suse

      Keep hitting Sort By Newest.

  • memzilla Ω

    Gin and Tacos: “Trump at this morning’s press conference was your 54 year old single
    uncle at Thanksgiving, rising unsteadily to his feet after downing after his sixth double Early Times and Sam’s Choice brand bootleg Dr. Pepper with the clear intention of spending the next 15 minutes haranguing the entire family and exhaustively detailing why he never liked you in the first place and why you can go straight to hell before kicking open the front door and faceplanting off the bottom of the stoop in a vain effort to reach his ’88 Firebird with the beaded seat and hood decal and show you what Real America looks like as he does a burnout on his way back to the double wide that doesn’t have gas this winter because the power company is a bunch of fuckin assholes.”

    • BadKitty904

      Yup.

    • Count Awesome

      He didn’t stay for dinner cuz it’s the most overrated meal if the day.

    • Résistance Land Shark

      Uncle George? Is that you, man?

  • Pisciatoiojohn

    Shep isn’t nearly as funny as Curly.

  • Reality Kills

    “Public doesn’t care about my taxes.”
    -D. Trump

    OK, cool. Put hope you are OK when I decide not to pay either!

  • Watching the Cooper vs Conway smackdown. I am not liking the refusal to acknowledge Buzzfeed, but i am liking his utter crushing of the deranged word sald she’s spouting

    • BadKitty904

      I’m hoping it ended with the two of ’em rasslin’ around on the floor. I’d watch that.

      • I miss Anderson’s tight black t shirt. But sadly, this interview was by remote, so no wrasslin’

        • BadKitty904

          Was Kelly the Con using an interpreter?

  • HazooToo
    • Courser

      Almost every night, my Fitbit tells me I have 0 minutes to sleep. Then again, I smoke a bunch of indica all evening, so… Well, and the 100 mg of Trazadone doesn’t hurt.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        I’d smoke them too.

        Finnish power metal, yeah!

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxKx9GHPrzk

        • Courser

          Thanks! I’m definitely developing a fondness for Scandanavian music. Now I’ve got another to watch for.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Damn, that’s even more than my trazodone dose! Sometimes I take 2. Even then it takes goddam forever to fall asleep.

      • HazooToo

        Gaddamn you. I have to take a ton of Diphenhydramine HCI every fucking night just to get sleepy… three hours later.

        • Rick Hill

          Try Valerian root. They synthesize valium from it. Or, Solaray has an herbal formula. It has valerian, lobelia, hops, its alittle more powerful. I think its formula # 14 but not certain. It doesnt put you to sleep so much as it allows you to sleep

          • HazooToo

            I need a little of column A, a little of column B. Help me get to sleep, and stay asleep.

        • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

          Melatonin has been a huge help to me, along with the antidepressants. And booze.

    • TJ Barke

      Lucky bastards.

    • Blacktop Autumn

      >.> I can sleep anywhere at almost anytime.

      It’s great for family holidays.

      • HazooToo

        TELL ME YOUR SECRETS, WITCH!

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Going to sleep ain’t the problem. It’s the waking up at 2am that makes me tetchy.

      • Vienna Woods

        Oh yeah.

      • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

        Do you wake with the certain knowledge that you must do the thing now or everyone will die, but you don’t know what the thing is?

        When that started happening literally every night/morning at 3 am was when I went back on Zoloft.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Not quite. Last night, for example, I woke up convinced that someone had stolen all the stuff off my walls while I was asleep.

          • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

            That sounds…unpleasant.

          • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

            Only for the first 30 seconds or so…beats the “falling out of bed” dream though.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Nyquil?

      • Reality Kills

        Just no! Trazadone maybe but that messes your penis up, if you have one.

        • Roni Resistance Raven

          Trazadone also messes your dreams up. For me it was Armageddon every single night until I decided sleeplessness was worse.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            I don’t mind the vivid dreams, sometimes they’re quite enjoyable, but mine err on the side of really fucking weird as opposed to nightmarish.

      • HazooToo

        ZzzQuil and generic sleep aid pills. I have no penis to mess up, also too.

    • RobKanC

      Get a CPAP mask. The moment I put it on, I sleep like a baby.

      • HazooToo

        The thing that goes over your face? Is it for COPD? My Dad has one, but it looks impossible to sleep in.

        • RobKanC

          nope. I was snoring really loud and my wife made me go to a sleep lab. You get used to it after a while. Now I cant sleep without it.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Yeah – I have a few friends who have sleep apnea that use it.

      • Unpresidented Ron

        I use one. It keeps me from dying in my sleep. I’m the same way, mask goes on, boom, out like a light… but if the power goes off when I’m asleep I immediately wide awake thinking I’m suffocating.

        • RobKanC

          Same. I am really scared now about the sleep thing. I tried going off of it for a week. It was hell before I gave up and started using it again. Still freaks me out about how dependent I have become.

          • Unpresidented Ron

            If you ever NEED to go off it, try sleeping sitting in a recliner. I find that being more or less upright keeps my windpipe from closing quite so much.
            But don’t be afraid of the dependance. The alternative is worse. MUCH worse.

    • BadKitty904

      <– has a MUCH harder time not going to sleep pretty much anytime I’m not actually moving about

      • Reality Kills

        BadKitty!

    • shivaskeeper

      Personally I reread old books. There is no compulsion to turn the page because I know what’s going to happen next, but i t helps relax my brain and let it know it’s OK to shut down for a few hours. If I don’t get to read, I don’t get to sleep.

      • Unpresidented Ron

        I’m reading ‘The Year Of The Flood’ and rereading ‘The Count of Monte Cristo’ and ‘The Year’s Best SF #2. I agree, a book you know well is like a comforting old friend. Old movies also, too.

        • shivaskeeper

          Can’t have a TV on when I’m trying to sleep. I even use a headlamp with a red lens so the light isn;t to bright if I fade out before I turn it off.

          • Unpresidented Ron

            Interesting. I think I know one or two people who’d find that idea useful.

          • shivaskeeper

            Bad phrasing on my part. The red light is so I don’t keep Mrs Keeper awake. I can sleep in bright steady light, but I prefer very dark. It’s the flickering light from the TV. If I nod off and wake up with the flickering light there is a chance I’ll lose my shit before I’m fully awake.

          • Unpresidented Ron

            Still useful. One person’s reading light is indeed another person’s spotlamp.

        • Vienna Woods

          I know there are lots of books I should be reading, but I keep going back to old favorites because I love them so much! Just reread Mary Stewart’s Merlin trilogy. I can basically predict what’s on the next page but that only adds to the pleasure. I think I’ll hit some Roger Zelazny next.

    • How?
      Have kids. You learn to sleep when head hits pillow.
      If you do not want kids, try the military and go on an infantry march.

      • Reality Kills

        Have kids? No, thanks, Jen. Rather never sleep again ever.

        • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

          Have kids and you may not!

      • HazooToo

        I’ve been through basic training (did not pass final tests), AND I got a kid. Still a night owl. My body does not care if I have to be awake at 7am. It wants to go to sleep at 4am. No earlier.

      • Vienna Woods

        Kid didn’t work for me. And tonight’s the full moon. Starting with tequila to see if that helps.

      • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

        I can sleep on the sofa with one dog at my feet, another licking my face, one kid playing video games and the other sitting on top of me, reading.

        Actually I sleep BETTER that way than if I go upstairs where it’s quiet.

        I am seriously compromised.

    • Résistance Land Shark

      Learn from kittehs … they have the sleep anytime, anywhere thing down pat.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
    • Count Awesome

      Howard Hughes?
      Also a urine thing going on there too, also.

      • Suse

        And Kleenex boxes for shoes.

    • Pisciatoiojohn

      Hitler? Penis? AOT,K?

    • TJ Barke

      diseases are for little people.

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      Obvs not RFK Jr, so ima go with the animated scrubbing bubbles thingamapoppers.

    • Vienna Woods

      Me after 30 years of teaching?

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Today Trump assured us that there is no kompromat on him that Russia is holding because he is “very careful and knows there are microphones and cameras in the hotel rooms”.
    Yes, grabembythepussy onherlikeabitch guy said that.

    • shivaskeeper

      Well he also said Russia said there was nothing compromising. Who wouldn’t believe Russia about that?

    • grabembythepussy onherlikeabitch hotel owning guy said that

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Well that’s not terrifying.

    • Résistance Land Shark

      Which, when translated through the “IOKIYAR” filter comes out as: “Did the cameras get my good side?”

    • Ωbjectifier

      I heard that in the car this afternoon, I damn near crashed laughing so hard.

    • Left Coast Tom

      I thought his assurance was that Russia said there is no kompromat they’re holding on him?

    • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

      There is so much wrong in that statement I hardly know where to begin.

  • BadKitty904

    That enlarged photo of Shep Smith above is disturbing. Is that a mask?

    • Suse

      He IS a bit scary looking.

      • Blacktop Autumn

        I must be a slut because I’d not throw him out of bed. >.> Hehe.

        • Suse

          Sluts are highly under-rated.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Pretty eyelashes. Just sayin’.

      • BadKitty904

        It’s…unnerving.

    • Pat_Pending

      No, but that’s a fabulous idea!

  • ok so Blackish tonight was really good. Not even snarking.

    • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

      I have never watched but I heard an amazing excerpt on NPR the other day.

  • Lain Iwakura

    Time to get banned from this site by reciting the words of Professor Steve Dutch:

    (Clears throat)

    Well, it’s not really hard. Go to all the right wing sites and look at posts from before the election. Read what people were angry about. Then stop doing that stuff. Quit the juvenile attacks on religion. If you want a religious establishment issue, look into the obstruction of observatories on Mauna Kea because some groups arbitrarily declare the mountain “sacred.” Quit speaking for terrorists (Noam Chomsky) and criminals (Making of a Murderer, anyone?) Quit solving social problems, like gun violence, by taking rights away from everyone else.

    Quit the petty bureaucratic micromanagement. Here’s a local item from Seattle from just the other day. The city bought data from some demographics firm, pulled out all the information on people buying pet supplies, matched it to the dog license list, and sent people notices that they’d be fined if they didn’t register their dogs. Does it get any more petty than this? First of all, why does any city even NEED to license animals? These days, with chipping, returning lost pets isn’t that much of a problem. How much money is involved? It’s chump change. No, it’s all about enforcing petty micromanagement on everything. Tell me again why I should be so worried about the NSA when local governments pull this crap.

    Another example: The tragic fire in Oakland California in December 2016 that killed 36 people. The building was almost literally connected by an extension cord (the only non-literal aspect is they probably used actual cable) and run off the meter of an adjacent building.

    The building was a maze of safety hazards but hadn’t been inspected in 30 years. Now, in those thirty years, how many homeowners in Oakland got citations for petty issues like peeling paint or having their garbage cans in the wrong place. Hundreds? Thousands?

    Yet another example. In January, 2016, Kansas game wardens shot a deer that had become something of a family pet. “It might have had chronic wasting disease” was one excuse, though it was hardly more likely to be sick than any other deer. It’s fascinating that, despite all we hear about how much Brownback’s policies have devastated Kansas, Kansas still has money to keep idiots on the payroll.

    [Note to the “citations” crowd. All of these episodes got mainstream news coverage. If you’re as informed as you pretend to be, you’d know about them already. And if you don’t, you’re unqualified to be in this discussion.]
    A few years ago my street was torn up to replace sewers. I watched the work avidly. It was carefully planned and well done, and they kept obstructions to a minimum. It cost me $1500 and I think it was good value. The curb-laying machine that extrudes the curb like Play-Doh was amazing. And hitherto, sump pumps had been haphazard. Now everyone had to have a line to the storm sewers. It didn’t take much to make me decide having someone dig the trench was the way to go. The trencher is like a chain saw on steroids, and the $300 was worth it.
    Now somebody explain what I got for the $600 for the permit. I watched the work and it was well done. Nobody from the city came by. The permit did me absolutely no good whatsoever. I didn’t need it. It was purely a ripoff. They need the money to fund the inspection office? Let them hold a bake sale or take a second job if they think it’s that vital.
    What’s driving Trump supporters more than anything else (and I voted for Clinton) is the desire for what Justice Lewis Brandeis called “the right to be let alone.” If people are not harming anyone else, they believe they have no obligation whatsoever to report or justify their activities to the government, get a permit or license, or have their rights circumscribed for the sake of the sociopathic.
    Oh, if you really want to drive people to the right, make voting mandatory. Get millions of people angry about government mandates, and send them to the polls.
    The denial games seem to come in three types:
    We weren’t liberal enough. Need more cowbell. Sorry, Bernie Sanders.
    Things will be okay once we enlighten the rubes. Teach them not to be racist, sexist, etc. It reminds me a bit of all the Hitler rant parodies. In the real movie, Hitler says everything will be all right once a counterattack begins. Then someone says there will be no counterattack because the general doesn’t have enough men, and Hitler loses it. (“Mein Fuehrer, the rubes are still racist and deplorable.” “DAS WAR EIN BEFEHL!!!”)
    Denial squared. Yes, they are racist and deplorable, I don’t care what they think, screw them. Than you for proving my point.

    —Steve D

    • Reality Kills

      Flagged!

    • WomanInTheResistance

      And your point is?

      • Lain Iwakura

        Not my point. The professors point.

        • Unpresidented Ron

          And you’re just the messenger, right? Yawn. Dumb troll is dumb.

        • Left Coast Tom

          OK, guess this isn’t “Poe”…

          You posted it as something you thought others should read, therefore you endorsed it as a worthy point for others to consider.

          Own it.

          • Lain Iwakura

            Ok then, I’ll Summarize:
            Find ways to uphold the law that bother the least amount of people.
            Deal with the fact that religious people comprise a majority of the American population, and as a result are of great importance to ones political ambitions such that you might need to appeal to them or avoid the issue (Sanders did very well in that regard).
            Wherever its possible and reasonable, within the confines of the law, Let the bigots be bigots still (after all, anti-bigotry laws can only go so far, and most people are concerned with accessing resources and services, not the personal attitudes of the one delivering), and the non-bigots be non-bigots still.

      • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

        Sounds like the person met their tipping point with a recent meter maid encounter

        • WomanInTheResistance

          Lovely Rita, one hopes. I am a kind-hearted person, under my cynical, bitter shell.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        I think it’s to bore us to death.

    • Count Awesome

      TL;DR.

      • Lain Iwakura

        And just like that, nothing is learned. I thought reading was a skill valued by the intellectual and educated in this country. Clearly, we wasted the 90’s and PBS and Seasame Street wasted its time.

        • Count Awesome

          True intelligence is measured in the ability to be concise.

          • Unpresidented Ron

            Yes.

        • Unpresidented Ron

          I for one learned that this ‘Professor’ person is a great fool and painfully unaware of how the Real World™ works. Was there another point?

        • For sure, if you are an example of its product.
          We can help with that if you want?

        • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

          Perhaps you could summarize the lesson.

          • Lain Iwakura

            Uphold the law, and do it in ways that inconveniences and bothers the least amount of law abiding people. Deal with the fact that the religious make a clear majority in thia country, and as result, you might need to appeal to them in some fashion in order to make some political advances. And, wherever reasonably and legally possible, Let the racists and sexists continue to be so and the non-bigoted and non-xenophobic continue to be so.

          • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

            Though it pains me a bit to say so, your summary makes far more sense than the original screed, and I could nit-pick, but on principle I don’t disagree.

    • Blacktop Autumn

      Yeah, because the spat of trans bathroom laws is “wanting to be left alone.” Sweetie, I come from the Rust Belt, my dad is an IBEW electrician, I’m a licensed teacher working as a paraprofessional, and I’m a transwoman working on transitioning.

      My old man’s local covers Cahokia and East St. Louis. Know how many black members of his unions there are?

      Hint: don’t take off your shoes, sweetie.

      Fuck Trump voters, honestly.

      • janecita

        Hey darling, how is the new job treating you?

      • Lain Iwakura

        Even though the author in question voted hillary?

        • The author in question lies. He didn’t vote Hillary.

          • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

            Even if he did, it makes him no less of a selfish dickweasel.

        • HazooToo

          Do you think it really makes a difference? I don’t believe he did vote for Hillary, and going by all that nonsense you quoted, I think he voted for one of the Greens, if he voted at all. But even if he did, that doesn’t make his argument any less stupid and self-absorbed.

        • OrG

          Um….NOPE

    • Count Awesome
      • Lain Iwakura

        And nothing was learned today.

        • Count Awesome

          I learned you have a hard time getting to the point in the fewest words possible

          • Lain Iwakura

            Well then, can you condense that entire statement, make it shorter and more concise?

          • Sure!
            People voted trump because they don’t care if they get blown up by accidentally hitting a gas line and don’t want to be told they can’t discriminate against people!

            Course, we already knew that.

          • HazooToo

            “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, I don’t wanna get a dog liscence, so screw people on Medicare and blacks, muslims, transgenders, homos and women!”

          • Count Awesome

            Why would I want to? I’m not your paid proofreader.

          • Lain Iwakura

            Summary:

            Find ways to uphold the law that bother the least amount of people.
            Deal with the fact that religious people comprise a majority of the American population, and as a result are of great importance to ones political ambitions such that you might need to appeal to them or avoid the issue (Sanders did very well in that regard).
            Wherever its possible and reasonable, within the confines of the law, Let the bigots be bigots still (after all, anti-bigotry laws can only go so far, and most people are concerned with accessing resources and services, not the personal attitudes of the one delivering), and the non-bigots be non-bigots still.

          • Left Coast Tom

            He did just that, below, by posting “TL;DR”, but you didn’t get it. Sad!

          • Lain Iwakura

            Because saying you didn’t read it is condensing an argument?

          • OrG

            WHAAAAH

    • HazooToo

      You’re taking an awfully long time to point out that registering your pets and keeping your house up to code are the reason a bunch of assholes voted for a racist, sexist, lying traitor.
      http://i.imgur.com/VIgqQxo.png

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        And I love the idea that getting a permit is stupid because this guy got a permit and…nothing happened.
        They don’t come out and check to see if you have a permit. They come out after the idiots you hired (usually because you don’t want to pay for people who know what the hell they’re doing) hit a sewer or water line that the city would have told you was there if you had bothered to get a permit.

        • HazooToo

          Exactly. Pretty goddamn selfish to say “I voted for Trump because I don’t care if people have health care, or women get groped and raped, or muslims and mexicans get thrown out, or the KKK marches proudly in public, as long as I don’t have to get a dog license or fix my gutters!”

      • Lain Iwakura

        They were also voting to buck a system that bothered them, like many people in this country desired.

        • IT BOTHERED THEM!!!!
          How dare their country ask them to participate in their country in order to ensure that there are things such as clean drinking water, working roads and health care!!!
          THE MONSTERS!!!!!

          • Lain Iwakura

            What if the country doesnt give them those things?

          • Well, people die. Lots and lots of people die.
            Very many people die.
            Did I mention the dying people bit?
            See, here is the thing- you want to enjoy all the country can offer you and not do a thing yourself to secure that. It is the ultimate irresponsible, selfish immorality in existence.
            Society- all of human society and throughout history this has been true- necessitates participation; you don’t get to enjoy the fruits of liberty without paying your share in ensuring it’s prosperity, for us, and our children. If you really want to be left alone, you should go buy yourself a private island, call it me land, and get on with it.

          • HazooToo

            You mean like in Flint? Or all the Republican states where they refused Medicare expansions? Hate to tell you, sweetie, but… It’s not our fault if your Repug Governor doesn’t give a shit if you live or die.

          • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

            I know, right? All these years I’ve been bothered by SO MANY THINGS. And all I needed to do was vote for a proto-fascist megalomaniac.

        • HazooToo

          So okay… It bothered them to go get a permit so the city could tell them whether it was safe to dig or whether there was a gas line there (which is the entire reason for building permits), so they voted to take away people’s healthcare and voting rights? That’s totally understandable, how could we possibly be so selfish?

        • TJ Barke

          No, what they did was attempt to buck a system that actually wanted them to be fucking responsible.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          No, that’s bullshit unsupported by the facts. The actual post election number crunching show that far and away the strongest characteristics associating with Trump voters were racism, xenophobia and authoritarianism. Being bothered by a fucking dog license had nothing to do with it. You and Steve are full of shit

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Norm Chomsky is a terrorist?

      So not only is this guy a dipshit, he’s a stupid dipshit. Got it.

      • TJ Barke

        He advocates that Palestinians not be massacred by Israel, therefore terrorist, I guess.

      • Lain Iwakura

        No, there is a world of difference between Speaking in favor of a terrorist and actually being one.

        • Pssstttt just in case you did not know, the people of Palestine are not actually terrorists. Just people being oppressed by their country.
          So there is that!

          • Lain Iwakura

            Who said we were talking about Palestine? Why not Al-Qaeda, who were keen to appeal to Noam Chomsky’s words and support the American left around 2004?

    • Left Coast Tom

      I’ll assume “Poe” based on the comment history. But, just in case…

      Kansas, of course, is run by Republicans. Not sure how you want non-Trump-voters to “quit doing that stuff”.

      As for:

      The building was a maze of safety hazards but hadn’t been inspected in
      30 years. Now, in those thirty years, how many homeowners in Oakland got
      citations for petty issues like peeling paint or having their garbage
      cans in the wrong place. Hundreds? Thousands?

      Alameda County voted 79 (Clinton) to 15 (Orange Shitgibbon), and Oakland is the liberal part of the county.

      • Suse

        Thanks for posting how Alameda County voted.

    • Suse

      Whut? Bye, Felicia!

    • Unpresidented Ron

      ‘The right to be let alone.’
      I am too tired to go into everything wrong with this. Cuz it is a HUGE list.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      This one hangs out on AlterNet, with occasional side trips to the Daily Caller. I, for one, am blocking and flagging. Not worth more, IMHO.

      • TJ Barke

        I wouldn’t flag it yet as it hasn’t been particularly abusive or anything yet.

        • WomanInTheResistance

          I just blocked it. Because you are right. At least from what I saw.

        • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

          Fuck it, to the cornfield with ‘im. Life’s too short, threads too long…

          • Normally I would agree, but since it seems to be a badge of honor to get banned, I say we be our sadistic selves and not give him the satisfaction ^.^
            I am really mean some times.

    • TJ Barke

      What point? Ramble harder.

    • shivaskeeper

      So do you have an original thought? Or just copy pasta?

      Anyway to answer one of them. Seattle dog licensing. WA state does not have an income tax so pretty much everything collected is through licensing fees, permitting fees, or fines. That’s pretty simple isn’t it? It has and had nothing to do with finding a lost dog but everything to do with collecting the licensing fees and making sure people who live in a crowded city have the proper shots for their pets.

      I’ll let others deal with the rest.

      • Count Awesome

        Mmmm, pasta.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I certainly don’t mind the licensing fees (although when I was trying to get my pharmacy technician license it was overly complicated and I had to give up).

        • shivaskeeper

          I didn’t say things couldn’t be streamlined, but it is how the state makes the bulk of it’s income.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            It’s more like, I really wondered why they wanted a recommendation from a Washington pharmacist when I was applying from out-of-state. XD

          • shivaskeeper

            I can ask a good friend of mine who is a pharmacist when she gets back from her FIL’s wedding.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            Thanks but don’t worry about it. I didn’t know anyone or have the money to get fingerprinting done so my application was cancelled.

      • Hellhathnofury Demme

        I didn’t want to wade through all that, but in case it’s relevant: licensing fees also help pay for shelters, vets, and food for animals. In some places, they also help pay for Animal Control Officers.

        • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

          Spay/neuter clinics and feral colony management, also, too.

      • Lain Iwakura

        About the fines… Are you fine with that? For a people who are really up against the profit motive being a motive for decision making, why would you be fine with any government institution that requires fines, a monetarily punitative measure, in order to keep operating?

        • shivaskeeper

          Yes I’m fine with fines. If you want to not pay your dues for citizenship, either in taxes or fees in lieu of taxes, you should be fined when you’re caught. Why should you get the reap the benefits without paying your fair share?

          I pay property taxes to support the schools even though my kid is long out of them. I don’t mind that either.

          Also, where did I say I was against profits? Profit is a valid reason to make decisions. I don’t think it should be the only reason, but I’m not opposed to making a profit.

          • Lain Iwakura

            “If you want to not pay your dues for citizenship, either in taxes or fees in lieu of taxes, you should be fined when you’re caught”

            No, that makes sense. And ostensibly, thats what fines are for. The sticking point here is when theres an extra incentive to pass them, such that they have to continously meddle around and micromanage and check up and down for tiny indiscretions. That something like fines are required by that institution in order for them to generate money creates that added incentive.

          • shivaskeeper

            Examples?

          • Lain Iwakura

            New York City. Whether they admit it or not, the police have quotas on how many vehicles, and their owners, they must fine for parking misdemeanors. This encourages officers to actively seek them in order to issue fines…

            I’ll admit that my grand flaw here is that this city isnt inhabited by people of the same mentality that the professor is probably alluding too, such that they might respond in ways he might expect where he lives.

          • shivaskeeper

            Have you ever been to New York? The overcrowding is the reason for the fines. Letting people get seat with parking where they feel like is dangerous. Dangerous as in fire/police/medical can’t get to where they need to go. That sort of thing.

            But when I asked for an example I mean cite something. Not a random complaint.

          • Lain Iwakura

            I live there actually.

            This is kinda why I admitted that here, the mentality that the professor alludes to in response to those percieved slights, might not apply… Here.

            I doubt that, if such practices change, we’d take to parking in the middle of the street so that emergency vehicles should be concerned. In fact, i would think it better to adopt a “park at your own risk” policy.

            But, for a citation of an (i guess already resolved) issue with fines:
            http://www1.nyc.gov/office-of-the-mayor/news/530-15/de-blasio-administration-reduces-fines-assessed-consumer-affairs-businesses-half-cuts

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      That was a wonderfully circuitous path to take to not explain your point.
      My take, some people are racists, and that is OK and saying it is wrong and why it is wrong would be a waste of time. Also too, even broken governance has at least some ability to pay for the act of governing, so that also is A-OK.
      Say what you mean, say it concisely, and leave it at that.
      Cheers,
      (M^3)LP

    • Not sure why this would get you banned?
      But, just so you know, Steve is wrong on almost all his points.
      Edit: Also, by this line you know professor Steve is about as liberal as Newt:
      They need the money to fund the inspection office? Let them hold a bake sale or take a second job if they think it’s that vital.

      Right! Because who the hell needs an inspection office? Certainly not, say, Flint Michigan or anything. Total waste of money, they should take a second job if it is so vital to ensure our infrastructure.

      Not even gonna touch that “leave them alone, they are not harming anyone!” because they are, for actually really real, harming people. So there is that.

      Conclusion; I doubt very much that he voted for Hillary.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        I think we found a contenter for this week Dear Shit Fer Brains

        • Eh? I think it is absolutely a very odd attempt to get liberals to suddenly turn into libertarians anyway.
          Cause…who else would call Norm a terrorist?

          • TJ Barke

            Noam…

          • Norm, Noam, potayto, potahto, the point is, he’s a terrorist because Steve- who voted for Hillary mind you- says so

        • WomanInTheResistance

          I think we found a lonely, bored person with too much time on its hands. Before I blocked it, I checked out its Disqus history. Hangs out on AlterNet, and isn’t too well liked there. Sad boring troll is sad. And boring.

          • Libertarian.
            NO PAY FOR ANYTHING SO THERE.
            huh. So….you do not have electricity? Roads? Schools? Running Water?
            It would be awesome to live in a libertarian world where your neighbor can pour lethal shit right in your water table and no one can stop them!

          • TJ Barke

            And if it kills you, then they’ll stop doing business with your neighbor! You know, as long as it’s convenient…

          • HorseChestnut

            No, see, if my neighbor in Libertopia tried that, I’d have to take care of it Like A Man, with good old natural violence. What this country needs more of is violent men! Then, we could live in peace.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            “Nobody wants to live downstream from a libertarian.”
            When two libertarians are a problem by definition, that’s a strong indication that the philosophy sucks.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Perhaps, though surely we can do better than this tripe? Last week’s Moran is a hard act to follow, I’ll admit.

      • suziq

        Steve Dutch posted a thingy on the 8th saying “here’s how to get banned from Wonkette. Post this” with that long-winded whatever up there. Evidently it is a sport? He haz sads because he got banned on the post-election post that said Fuck You America because he is a asshole. Also he is retied so guessing he has lots of time on his hands for dumb stuff like this. I think it would be funnier if everybody ignores “Lain” thereby not achieving the goal of getting banned.

        • Oh, I do not think he should get banned at all.
          Nothing rule breaking in any of that anyway.
          But I think it is more than fair game to snark his silly libertarian head off.

        • HazooToo

          Yay! Wonkette gets more traffic and hopefully better trolls!

        • WomanInTheResistance

          Well, what a stupid hobby. Why not take up scrapbooking, or woodwork, or even macrame? At least you would have something to show for your efforts.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          who the fuck is Steve Dutch and why does anyone give a fuck about whatever drivel falls out his piehole?

          • suziq

            Retired college professor from Wisconsin. No idea why anybody would care what he has to say, not very interesting. Obviously too much time on his hands.

    • Résistance Land Shark

      What’s driving Trump supporters more than anything else (and I voted for Clinton) is the desire for what Justice Lewis Brandeis called “the right to be let alone.”

      OK, then leave women alone to decide their own reproductive health. Then leave gay couples alone to decide to marry or not. Keep your religion to yourself, and leave me alone to choose my faith and how I practice it. Then leave the Muslim family alone as they are US citizens, too.

      Mind your own business, and I’ll mind mine.

      • theCryptofishist

        I couldn’t give you the other 999,999 upfists, so you’ll just have to enjoy the one I did.

      • Thiazin Red

        I regret that I have but one upfist to give for this comment.

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

      Wait, you’re saying there’s a point to all this?

    • TJ Barke

      Given that most of Trump’s supporters were among the petty bourgeoisie, what they want is the right to gouge their employees, skirt regulation and make out like bandits.

      • Count Awesome

        Having to work overtime is the luxury of having a job or something like that.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          At least you have a job!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        This is what this is all about…the ability to legally steal from others.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        The regular GOP wasn’t good enough for them?

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Dude,

      It’s time for you and Steve to retire. You have issues.

      And if you ARE Steve, please seek the campus health care folks.

      • Lain Iwakura

        Nope, just some Random dude on the internet.

        • Random dude with Random caps.
          SWEET.
          Say, random dude, do you like sailor hats?

          • Lain Iwakura

            Nah, Sailor suits and summer uniforms.

          • Excellent. Fill out the form, make sure to indicate your sizes accurately and have a seat in the hall.

          • Lain Iwakura

            In the words of Mr. Kimura, “Cause I like high school girls, thats why.”

          • Try to stay on task, sweetums. And make sure you write legibly.
            Random caps are ok, for I can be nice when I want to.

          • Lain Iwakura

            I was explaining the summer uniforms and sailor suit reply… Actually, I should’ve started off that last post with the question/quote from the same scene: “Why did you wanto to become an english teacher?”

          • WomanInTheResistance

            Wait, you got random Caps? I’m so jealous.

          • Several :D

          • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

            Another one for the collection!

    • alpacapunchbowl

      So you stopped by here to post some rambling drivel with the intent of getting banned?
      That’s a pretty desperate cry for attention, you sad little man.

      • Jennifer R

        They saw the low standards trolls as of late have been exhibiting and we’re hoping for an easy spot on dear shit fer brains.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          I think you’re on to something! This is still weak sauce.
          SAD!

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          It really is less sporting when they ask for the Hammer of Loving Correction.

          • Jennifer R

            Don’t get me wrong, I love it when someone can ask for what they want but this isn’t the right case.

    • OrG

      Ya know,if you pulled your head out of your ass,you might see things more clearly.

    • TJ Barke

      Been banned yet? Your self important martyrdom doesn’t seem to be going as planned…

      • So much martyr, copy pasting someone else’s words.

      • Count Awesome

        That last nail is so hard to hammer in on your own.

      • Lain Iwakura

        Eh, partly done for kicks. I’m not sure how commited I am to this.

        • TJ Barke

          Then go bother someone else.

          • Lain Iwakura

            You say that, but you could’ve ignored this entire post.

          • TJ Barke

            Considering you’ve said nothing worth listening to, I’ll take your advice: Blocked.

    • Count Awesome

      What does your mother’s sister’s aunt’s cousin’s grandma’s first cousin’s nephew’s in-laws think?

    • Markuserektus

      But did you get a discount from insurance panda?

      • Lain Iwakura

        No. Also money cat didnt come through with the promised cash.

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      They need the money to fund the inspection office? Let them hold a bake sale

      Ah, so everybody else can pay for your share? And how many $600 cakes you think they’ll sell? The fees are, also too, a substitute for taxes nobody wants to raise or, for that matter, pay…

      • We should not have to get a license for our dogs or be forced to get rabies shots for them, or pay our animal control people when folks let their animals attack other people because leave me alone is why!
        Tellin ya, this isolationist everyone for themselves libertarian paradise sounds like it would be great fun don’t it!

        • WomanInTheResistance

          Somalia libelz!

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          No man is an island, but there sure are a shitload of them that think they are

        • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

          Great fun for whoever ends up in charge of this Bossless Utopia…

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Steve D is an idjit. Finding anecdotal examples (rather rare ones, at that) to extrapolate “here’s what is wrong with you libtards” is a disingenuous exercise in gaslighting, nothing more. You know who else likes to be left alone? ALL OF US, KATIE! Including gheys and transgenders try to take a pee, women trying to buy birth control, minorities trying to go about their lives without getting shot by cops, the rest of us who keep having to put up with those whiny self centered assholes. Ask the pot smokers how that works. Ask the people who’d like to keep their ACA coverage. ask the people who’ve had non permitted buildings fall on them, ask those people in Oakland if the problem was that some fire marshal was just micromanaging about building codes. This is just well dressed libertarian bullshit.

      • TJ Barke

        Well dressed? It doesn’t even seem to know how to dress….

        • I would say it was pretty nekky libertarian stuff myself XD

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I’m gonna wait until we hear from the Russian hookers

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          lol, I was being nice

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Showing up without pants was an oversight.

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      The Australian fantailed desert dog was bred to combat the plague of the were-platypus.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      Huh?

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      Steven Dutch is a professor of Natural and Applied Sciences at the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay.

      One theme that is consistent throughout his website is his criticism of both creationism/intelligent design along with theists supportive of that, and of atheists critical of religion. He claims that Richard Dawkins is utterly ignorant of theology, and states that there is no proof that an infinite regress is impossible. He claims that Dawkins’ critique of religion is unjustified, as both natural selection and deities are self-explaining. He also criticizes Bertrand Russell for “blaming science for the barrenness of his own personal philosophy [agnosticism]”. Based on his support of evolution and membership in the Affiliation of Christian Geologists at Wheaton University it appears that Dutch is a Christian who supports theistic evolution, which explains his stance.

      http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Steven_Dutch

      • Lain Iwakura

        Yeah, I went to the same page on rationalwiki. I also frequently visited his pseudoscience index page, here:
        https://www.uwgb.edu/dutchs/pscindx.htm

        • pseudoscience?
          *squint* Science is science, or it is not science. Pseudoscience does not actually exist.

          • Lain Iwakura

            Wut? It does, its the term for false science. In a sense, you could say that pseudoscience doesn’t exist on account of it being falsehoods that dresses itself up in the language of science, but the term pseudoscience exists to point out those exact moments.

          • Did not say the term did not exist. I said that pseudoscience does not actually exist.
            There is, in fact, no fake science. Something is science, or it is not science, even if you claim it is science ;)

          • Lain Iwakura

            And if its not science yet claims to be, in the science to not science dichotomy, its pseudoscience… Or is this one of those moments in which either is talking past each other or disagreeing over nothing on this point?

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      TL; DR

    • Thiazin Red

      Getting angry about “attacks on religion” is just code for being upset that you’re not allowed to force your beliefs on others. If you really truly feel that you must discriminate against LGBT people, don’t work for the government, and don’t start a public business. If you don’t like abortion, don’t get one. If you don’t like gay marriage, then don’t enter into one.

      Licencing dogs is public safety and animal welfare issue. One of its main functions is to ensure that all dogs are regularly vaccinated, which requires a vet visit. This means fewer dogs and people will get rabies, and that vets can catch signs of animal abuse.

    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      “Read what people were angry about. Then stop doing that stuff.”

      No, I think we’ll keep supporting friends and family that are people of color, gay, trans, “undocumented”, or those same friends/families/ourselves that are on Obamacare (aka ACA for those that don’t know), need workplace protections, would like clean air and water, would like to curb global warming, aren’t keen on starting/fighting/dying in unnecessary wars, don’t agree with billion dollar companies paying no taxes, enjoy consumer protections, and lotsa other laws we think are good.

      “Quit the juvenile attacks on religion.”

      If religion is going to launch juvenile attacks on atheists (saying we don’t belong int eh country or should hold office). Really what’s more juvenile, arguing that no one religion should have a dominant say in the affairs of the public or government, or believing a magic sky wizard wrote a book that says we should stone gay folks, nonbelievers, and not eat shellfish or wear clothes made of different threads. (Not to mention the polygamy or selling people into slavery stuff).

      ” If you want a religious establishment issue, look into the obstruction of observatories on Mauna Kea because some groups arbitrarily declare the mountain “sacred.”

      So their religion deserves less respect than yours? Let me guess, evangelical christian, right? This is called “respect” and “you were here first” and it’s done in this country.

      “Quit speaking for terrorists (Noam Chomsky)”
      Yeah, you said these were all popular things that needed no citation, but “CITATION NEEDED.”

      “Quit solving social problems, like gun violence, by taking rights away from everyone else.”

      Yeah, fuck people of colors, woman, and people of alternative sexualities, if it makes life more difficult for others! By the way, what rights are being taken away from *everyone* else? No really…the right not to bake cakes for fags and dykes? Cause that’s about the only one I can think of…and in this country, you don’t have a right to discriminate.

      “First of all, why does any city even NEED to license animals? These days, with chipping, returning lost pets isn’t that much of a problem. How much money is involved? It’s chump change.”

      Yeah, it’s not about returning your lost pets. I’m guessing it has more ot do with getting the right shots and not having breeds deemed dangerous, oh and enforcing rules about vicious animals. You know, public safety/health stuff!

      “The building was a maze of safety hazards but hadn’t been inspected in 30 years. Now, in those thirty years, how many homeowners in Oakland got citations for petty issues like peeling paint or having their garbage cans in the wrong place. Hundreds? Thousands?”

      So a failure of government to enforce a law means we should abandon all those laws? Great, we can have one of these fires every week! How fun…just cause cars break down doesn’t make flying carpets real. Plus, things like peeling paint (if that actually happened, mr citations-not-needed) is that they make the neighborhood look ugly and they lower property values. In other words, they fuck over other people cause the owners are lazy/cheap.

      “If people are not harming anyone else, they believe they have no obligation whatsoever to report or justify their activities to the government, get a permit or license, or have their rights circumscribed for the sake of the sociopathic.”

      And that right there is your problem – these people ARE harming other people, they DO Have to report or justify their activities to the government when other people’s lives/homes/investments are at stake. How does getting a permit “circumscribe” your rights, much less “for the sake of the sociopathic”. Can you not still own a gun, speak your mind, go to church, vote for whom you’d like, be free of reasonable search and seizure, not be required to incriminate yourself?

      Dumbass.

    • Serai 1
    • Villago Delenda Est

      This is all one incident bullshit that’s used to attack everything regulatory. About 99% of regulations are for very legitimate citizen safety reasons. If you cut municipal budgets to the bone, inspections for electrical safety will not happen. This is the result of whining and crying by “small government” fuckwits like “Professor” Steve Dutch, who would gladly allow the rich to own the poor if they had their way.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba