Only 37% Of Americans Would Pee On Donald Trump If He Were On Fire

What's up, Quinnipiac poll, got some record low approval ratings for an incoming president, in this case one Mister Donald J. Trump? Let us copy-paste you!

American voters approve 55 - 39 percent of the job President Barack Obama is doing, his best approval rating in seven years, according to a Quinnipiac University national poll released today. These same voters disapprove 51 - 37 percent of the way Donald Trump is handling his job as president-elect.

Donald Trump will be a worse president than Barack Obama, 45 percent of voters say, while 34 percent say he will be a better president and 15 percent say he will be about the same, American voters tell the independent Quinnipiac (KWIN-uh-pe-ack) University Poll.

Americans are optimistic 52 - 43 percent about the next four years with Trump as president and say 47 - 31 percent that he will help rather than hurt the nation's economy.

Trump will be a "great" president, 12 percent of voters say; 30 percent say he will be a "good" president; 20 percent say he will be "not so good" and 32 percent say he will be "bad."

The measures of Trump's personal qualities all are more negative than they were in a November 22 Quinnipiac University poll:

53 - 39 percent that he is not honest, compared to 52 - 42 percent November 22;

49 - 44 percent that he has good leadership skills, compared to 56 - 38 percent;

52 - 44 percent that he does not care about average Americans, compared to 51 - 45 percent who said he did care;

62 - 33 percent that he is not level-headed, compared to 57 - 38 percent;

71 - 25 percent that he is a strong person, compared to 74 - 23 percent;

68 - 27 percent that he is intelligent, compared to 74 - 21 percent.

Any of those numbers that are "good" -- like the 71 percent who think Donald Trump is "strong," or the 68 percent who think he is "intelligent," or the 52 percent who are "optimistic" about the next four years -- are wrong.

Basically, despite being smart enough to know the incoming president is a jackass and also a shitheel, the American people are grasping onto slim reeds of hope, and begging the president-elect to pee on their legs and tell them it's raining.

So, are Donald Trump's approval ratings HISTORIC? They are! They are historically low , with Gallup pegging the last three incoming presidents as having approval ratings in the mid-60s during their transitions, and one of those was George W. Bush after Bush v. Gore.

Also, 67 percent of Americans want this hat. 

[ Quinnipiac ]