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trump-peeRemember at Halloween, when all of a sudden the Internet went insane because the FBI’s James Comey was doing crazy shit, and at the same time Mother Jones’s David Corn was reporting on these wild spy reports that Moscow had been cultivating Trump as an “asset” for years, and there might have been some sex parties? At the same time, Slate was reporting on weird “pinging” back and forth between servers owned by the Trump Organization and Russia’s Alfa Bank, and and and and and!

Everybody’s head was spinning, and then a week later the universe imploded, and that was the end of that.

Until just now.

Buzzfeed has David Corn’s source’s memo, which had previously been released to Harry Reid — hence his caterwauls demanding Comey stop dicking around — and CNN says a synopsis was released to both President-elect Donald Trump and Temporary President Barack Obama.

Which means that Donald Trump got an eyeful about how, according to former British spies who interviewed both Russian prosties and Moscow Ritz Carlton workers, he hired a bunch of Russian hookers to pee on each other in the Presidential suite, because the Obamas had stayed there, he hates them that much, and he’s a fucking gross pig.

The report — ahem, IF TRUE — also has things that are actually important besides a fucking gross pig’s predilection for anything that might make more work for the housekeepers. It has allegations about continuing, regular contacts and agreements between the Trump campaign and Russia’s Putin with far-reaching geopolitical consequences. It alleges, for instance, that there were quids pro quo between the two camps (with the knowledge of both Putin and Trump) with Trump decrying our support of our allies in NATO in exchange for Putin’s help in hacking Hillary Clinton’s campaign emails. Plus many, many, many others, but who cares. PEE HOOKERS!

Buzzfeed points out that there are mistakes in the document — it notes, for instance, its continuing references to ALPHA Bank instead of Alfa Bank, which strikes us as unimportant considering ALFA Bank is probably different in Cyrillic anyway.

So do we believe it? HMMMM ALLEGEDLY we do! More importantly, Harry Reid clearly believed it, the British spook who compiled it has been deemed by US intel officials to have been reliable in the past, and Trump sure put off that intel briefing as long as he could, didn’t he?

We imagine we will have more to say about this tomorrow. Just a hunch!

READ READ READ!

[Buzzfeed / CNN]

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  • memzilla Ω

    Donald J. (for Judas) Trump.
    Sooper Genius.

    • DahBoner

      No soop four you

    • handyhippie65

      hey now, wiley coyote is the only souper genius. the road runner wouldn’t waste his time fucking with dumpster fire. too easy.

    • yyyaz

      With an extra set of “I’s”, he is a IDJIT.

  • Nounverb911
    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Needz moar yellow in the pool.

  • Belasaurius

    Joke overload…. please stand by

  • Belasaurius
  • Nounverb911
  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz
  • WiscoJoe

    If future historians want to understand American politics, circa 2016, I recommend they watch Batman v Superman, which features a pivotal scene where a megalomaniac billionaire’s urine foreshadows the explosion of America’s democratic institutions.

    http://67.media.tumblr.com/dc77a6a640548523743a7c762d4f7c85/tumblr_o9ic86OZUz1uorz8zo3_500.gif

    • BMW

      True story…I created a cut of that movie with that part (and a lot of other stupid stuff) edited out. I shared it with my friends, but do you think it should go on youtube?

      • WiscoJoe

        That’s a shame. It’s a great scene.

        Zack Snyder tried to warn us but the lamestream critics were too butt hurt that conflict between super powers wasn’t presented as a comedic romp.

        And no, don’t post it on YouTube. There’s already enough stupid stuff out there. ;)

        • BMW

          I didn’t like it.

    • SterWonk

      I didn’t get the “Granny’s Peach Tea” == “urine” reference…?

  • NanBullenshede

    Hoisted on his own pee-tarts

    • And you win the internet! I hope you have a nice place to store it!

    • pstockholm

      I am in awe.

    • ltmcdies

      I bow to you internetz skills

    • Paul

      That is flat out tremendous. Thank you.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Love it.

      Where have you been? I haven’t seen you for a while.

      To grammar nazi, though, hoist is already a pissed particle of “hoise,” so no need for -ed.

  • Actively working with a foreign power to influence the presidential election in his own favor? How is that even illegal?

    But seriously, wingnuts: you want to paint a smarmy photo of this dingus stomping on the Constitution? Because he has. Unlike that Kenyan Usurper, who only had the highest regard for our highest law. Dickweeds.

  • o’look Skwerl!

    This is why you bring your own hookers to your own hotel!
    Every third grader knows this.
    I blame the teacher’s union.

    • Count Awesome

      It’s not civics or so I have heard.

  • therblig
  • Scrofula

    It doesn’t say HE pissed on any hookers.
    Honestly, what would it take, at this point?
    Video of Trump getting rammed in the ass by a shemale with a Michelle Obama mask while he yells “Fuck me like you fuck Barry!” and they’d just say, “yeah, Michelle’s a dude-monkey.”
    I has a disappointed angry right now.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Most of the Trumpanzees would respond: “Golden showers? Heyull’….Ol’ Donalds got golden showers in all of them big gold hotels of hisun’! This ain’t nuthin’.”

  • Bill D. Burger

    So appropriate! The fucking Republicans have been giving us a golden shower with that trickledown economic swill, you just know that they have a fetish.

    BTW: Won’t matter to the Trumpanzees. Most of em’ will think a ‘golden shower’ is something they could buy at Home Depot.

    https://thefreeamericangroup.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/golden.jpg

    • I agree that Trumpkins won’t care Trump defiled a bed the Obama’s slept in, or care if he hired hookers, OR not blow off the whole golden showers thing.
      But even they will go….Russia is blackmailing him? WHAT?
      Except, of course, for the paid Russian ones.

  • So, should we restrain ourselves to only talk about pee hookers in this one, and leave the episodes of Punky Brewster for the official open thread? Wonkette is complicated, tonight.

    • o’look Skwerl!

      What about the Golden Shower Punky Brewster discussions we have?

    • rebecca

      that would be mighty nice of you ma’am.

    • Golden showers here, punky other wheres

  • DahBoner

    Donald Trump, his top advisors, and the Russian government.
    https://media3.giphy.com/media/TVH9OUTmCmlFe/200_d.gif#76
    In a corrupt totally not gay way

  • WomanInTheResistance

    I do not have even the slightest interest in what consenting adults do sexually. But the thought of the head of the American executive branch being open to blackmail by Putin, being used by Putin, sickens and angers me.

    • SnarkON

      Really? That doesn’t gross you out even a little? If not the pee part, then the part about how he hired women to humiliate themselves so he could get off on it?

      • WomanInTheResistance

        Sure, I find this unappealing. But that is true of other things as well. And so long as all participants are adult, capable of consent, and do give that consent, it’s simply not my problem. Anybody who is stupid enough to put themself in Putin’s control, and then acquiesce – that is my problem.

    • Yes, but if those consenting adults want to keep it covered up and allow themselves to be blackmailed by a foreign power before colluding with the same to get elected President of the United States, then it becomes something that we should probably pay attention to.

      If he had just shrugged and went, “Yep. Pee hookers.” and gotten elected on his own, not so much.

      • WomanInTheResistance

        This.^^^

      • Hellhathnofury Demme

        Elected?
        Facts not in evidence.

      • OneYieldRegular

        If he’d run on the pee hookers platform, that might have been less embarrassing that what he actually did run on.

    • ltmcdies

      you know it’s not the pee thing as much as yet again..Donald appears to behave very badly simply out of fucking spite.

      It wasn’t just peeing…it was hookers and peeing in the presidential suite where the Obamas had stayed.

      what the fuck is this guy going to be like with the power of the american military behind him.

      Petty men with power are fucking scary

      • Begin Anew Day

        Don’t get me wrong, I know we are in TROUBLE.

        But I had to laugh at this.

      • TheAmazingBeardedLady

        Makes me wonder what he’ll do to the White House.

        • Jeffery Campbell

          Well, it does’t have a yellow room yet….

    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      W – you know I agree with and love you…but I have my doubts just how consenting these prostitutes were.

      Plus, world leaders, higher standard, etc etc

      • I bet that either:

        1) Trumpy stiffed the hookers just like he stiffs all the other people he owes;
        2) the “hookers” were already being paid, as part of an FSB honey-trap.

        • Rags

          Trump stiffing hookers? Assumes facts not in evidence. ISWIDT

  • Nounverb911
    • YoNastyBunny

      Just when we thought the dialogue about the American presidency could sink no lower… There really is no light at the end of this tunnel.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        You mistake a drill hole for a tunnel.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        There’s a light at the end of the tunnel – it’s the train barreling straight at us.

  • Begin Anew Day

    Again Wonkette applies the correct angle to the story!

    PEE HOOKERS INDEED!

    Yo Donnie! You ain’t been prez 15 minutes yet and you are already swimming in an olympic size cesspool of corruption.

    it ain’t going to get easier for you. Quite the reverse!

  • Nounverb911
  • WiscoJoe

    Any responsible kinkster would never urinate on a hotel bed. Plastic sheets and bathtubs are just common decency, people!

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    And all this is raining down just as Obama gives his farewell address.

    Not even Dok Zoom could make up shit like this.

    • Randy Riddle

      Raining down … no pun intended?

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Golden showers fill your dreams
    Pee excites you when it streams
    Oh, Russian paper do not lie
    And I will sing Trump’s lullabye-bye…

  • Bill D. Burger

    How nice!
    [Russian town wants to name street for Donald Trump]

    Hope they paint it gold. Donny loves gold…and golden showers too, evidently.

    http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/313465-russian-town-wants-to-name-street-for-donald-trump

  • msanthropesmr

    Uh.
    UH.
    See my previous comment on the up all night thread. This may have been what President Obama knew….

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Urine. Bomb.

  • Nounverb911
  • YoNastyBunny

    Being that we’re a vile, snark mob with a predilection to dick jocks, I totes thought you were making up the pee part. Oh, Wonkette, you never let us down.

  • therblig

    urine the money
    urine the money
    you’ve got a lot of what it takes to wet a dong

    • jodyleek

      You win, therblig, you win!

    • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

      All the internets to you.

    • coozledad

      Shower the pee-ple you love with love
      show them the way you’re plumbed
      things are going to be just golden
      Trump will probably come!

  • Nounverb911
    • theCryptofishist

      A yoooooge line of the classiest hookers peeing in unison…

  • RobKanC

    Holy Effing shit.. I just spit milk all over my carpet. Is this even real life anymore?

    • Nounverb911

      Well he IS a reality TV host.

  • Alfa is different in Cyrillic.
    And a brittisher might translate that letter as a PH (it looks like a hot dog on a too small bun- see?ф) since both an f and a ph would be perfectly acceptable substitutions.

    • Me not sure

      Thanks, comrade.

    • Count Penistone

      My russian coworked spells Alpha as Alfa, FWIW.

      • msanthropesmr

        NATO speak for call letters, it is alfa, not alpha.

      • Does your coworked spell lots of things?

  • Nounverb911

    I see another NYDN cover in Donnies future.

    https://twitter.com/NYDailyNews/status/818971131545812993

    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      Pervert in Chief
      Mr. Pee-sident.

      They’re a classy group over there at NYDN.

  • suziq

    I don’t think it is true, because second paragraph of the summary says that the russkies tried to bribe donnie with russian real estate (basically) but he didn’t bite. He would never be able to resist that. Also too, he doesn’t think the womenz should have any bodily functions which would include peeing. Or were they male hookers? Hmm maybe true! It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

    • I read it on the internet, so it must be true!

    • Ian

      True or not it’s out there. Many people are talking, they’re saying things… LOTS OF TALKING! It works both ways, dearie!

      • suziq

        Just saying I totally think if they did try to bribe him he would have gone for it because why not? But I think anything that anyone has about all this shit should be posted, as this was. If Comey can say stupid shit about nothing (Hillary sent emails! On her computer!) then we need to know about real or possibly real shit on any Trump person. All day every day until we get some sanity.

        • Do keep in mind it said he tried to bribe them with real estate and he turned the real estate down- does not say he did not take other bribes.
          But real estate is really not very liquid, which is why he prefers slapping his name on shit to actually owning stuff.

    • formerChild

      On the other hand, this might explain his comments about Hillary’s bathroom break. He wasn’t really disgusted. Just angry that she didn’t let him watch…

    • ltmcdies

      that doesn’t prove or disprove anything.

  • therblig

    is this story just a document dump, or is it streaming somewhere?

  • boredcatlady

    Wait, it is for sure pee hookers? That’s it?

    • Beowoof14

      Probably just an opening of more to come.

      • therblig

        a sprinkling of information?

  • Bill D. Burger
    • SayItWithWookies

      All hail Julius Pees-her.

  • lljktechnogeek

    At precisely what point did Warren Ellis become the writer for America? Because this feels a lot like the rough draft of a Transmetropolitan script.

  • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

    There’s the post. Wonkette/Trix, you’re so good.

  • AJ Milne

    (Blinks…)

    Альфа-Банк, looks like, prior to transliteration, for what it’s worth.

    Honestly not sure how you say ‘wait, what?’ in Russian, tho’.

    • Sakonyachen

      chego zhdat’?

      I love google translate. Of course, it may be a idiomic phrase that means “how many sheep did I fuck last night?” in Russian dialect.

  • Count Awesome

    Makes me happy to be a libtard because it’s better to be pissed off than pissed on.

  • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

    With friends like Vlad, urine over your head Donald.

  • ltmcdies

    so I guess this is the CIA “pissing” on Donnie Moscow

  • YoNastyBunny

    I dunno… Somehow, I think the Russians will be shocked to find out that even if they did release the compromising information, Trump Country will continue to support the Asshole-in-Chief. And when that happens, I don’t know if I’ll cry in or and laugh my ass off when Pooty Poot realizes what kind of tang-colored monster he’s created.

    • Sakonyachen

      Laugh while is still legal, tovarishch!

    • yyyaz

      Pooty knows. He is still giggling about his incredible discovery of how easy it is to manipulate Merka and “our” Orange Almighty Father.

  • Ian

    +1 one on the Cyrillic thing. The “F” sound in Russian is spelled in Cyrillic more like the greek letter for “Phi” with the “PH” thing.

    • theCryptofishist

      But why do we call it “phi” instead of “fi”?

  • Me not sure
    • therblig

      oddly enough, one of the russian hookers said her name was “Tawny Frogmouth”

      • Me not sure

        Well played, my ornithological friend.

        • therblig

          birds of a feather

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Page 7 of doc talks of “conspiracy” between Trump campaign and the Kremlin.

    Even Dick Nixon would be all “you motherfuckers.”

  • Beowoof14

    Just working on tips for the golden shower he plans to give the US economically.

  • Randy Riddle

    Usually, there’s a water cooler conversation at work about the day’s news.

    I think I’ll skip tomorrow’s session.

  • AJ Milne

    … oddly, recently, I have been bingeing on Archer…

    … and again, reality trumps satire.

    (Yay.)

    • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

      As have I – I’m giving it a rewatch and was depressed that they not only accidentally predicted ISIS (I mean, no, but you know…) and that Russians again would be our big spy foe.

      • Hate to break it to ya, but they have never not been XD
        The US and Russia never really reconciled anything. They just paused in their proxy wars for a bit, unless they could yell “terrorist!” first.

        • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

          Yeah. I’m seeing that now. That one civics class I had in high school didn’t really cover what things I should be paying attention to or understanding in the present day, unfortunately. :/

  • OrG

    Now I’m really pissed!

  • WIDTAP

    I never expected this report of Trump leaks.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Everybody expects Trumpyleaks.

      • WIDTAP

        Gee Wiz

    • YoNastyBunny

      Well, that depends…

    • JustDon’tSayOverrated

      They made quite a splash

  • ltmcdies

    Hey Rustbelters…how proud are yah now

    • jen

      Maybe thats how they relieve their economic anxiety!

  • Nounverb911
  • formerChild

    Any bets on how long it takes the media to normalize this? I give it a week.

  • proudgrampa

    What?

  • Randy Riddle

    Fifty Shades of …. Jeebusholypisschristonacracker….

  • John Iwaniszek

    I look forward to the frank discussions of watersports on network news.

  • Count Awesome

    “But they were gorgeous and classy hookers.”
    –Trump

  • Nounverb911
    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      If he actually went through with it – i might pay money to be in the room.

  • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

    First the news has to work around pussy, now golden showers. What a magical time to be alive.

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

    Say, do you know which other heads of state were also gross old perverts?

    • Count Awesome

      Caligula?

      • msanthropesmr

        This explains a lot.

    • AOT,K?

    • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

      Henry VIII?

    • Tallmutha

      Coolidge?

    • Truck Fump

      Johnson

    • theCryptofishist

      Berlesconi

    • YoNastyBunny

      Queen Victoria?

      Don’t look at me like that, you just KNOW she had to be freaky.

      • jodyleek

        It’s true she and Albert were lusty lovers. Why do you think she was so sad when he died? Must have been hung like a horse.

    • yyyaz

      Catherine the Great wasn’t old, so, hmmm.

    • Fifth-and-a-Half Element

      Governor Lepetomane?

    • JustDon’tSayOverrated

      Berlusconi?

      ETA: apparently I’d be first out in an Italian spelling bee.

    • lucidamente

      Jabba the Hut?

    • therblig

      P. Pot?

  • Crestdurn

    Thanks for keeping the info about the Russians blackmailing Trump a secret before the election, Comey. FUK YOU.

    • BUT EMAILS!

    • Hellhathnofury Demme

      A million fucks are not enough for Comey.

    • jen

      Comey had the nerve today to tell a committee that he never confirms ongoing investigations!! That Sen. Angus from Maine was like “Whaaaaaa?”

    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      cause emails we probably already saw is totally worth announcing to teh world, but at risk of being blackmailed by a hostile foreign power isn’t.

      SMH.

    • folderol

      What makes you think Comey doesn’t have the same Russian problem Trump has?

      • Crestdurn

        AND … the PLOT THICKENS!

  • Count Awesome

    Me thinks Trump’s toilets really aren’t golden, he’s just got REALLY bad aim.

    • Unpresidented Ron

      And blames Barron.

  • ThePuckStopsHere

    How did he NOT pick Vitter for Veep? Truly #1 and #2. A ticket for the ages.

  • Drew Miner

    this defiantly does not correspond to a majorities notion of making america great again!

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Maybe there is a reason Melania hasn’t been seen since the erection.

    • Begin Anew Day

      She’s probably cuddling with some VERY expensive divorce attorney.

      At least she would be doing so if she has any sense.

      • Paul

        Pre-nup, undoubtedly. And a hefty non disclosure section, with heftier financial implications if she says word one.

        • Begin Anew Day

          All of that is true.

          But what will the judge say when the term “Moscow Pee Hookers” shows up in the briefs?

          At least we won’t have to worry about donnie putting his assets in a blind trust anymore.

          • Paul

            Perhaps the judge would laugh so hard he’d pee in his own briefs.

  • Nounverb911
    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      I want to make a Tea Party / Pee Party joke, but I can’t come up with anything.

      • Unpresidented Ron

        That’s okay. We know your heart is in the right place. Also your bladder.

    • RobKanC

      awww. I love Patton Oswalt. He is going to have Killer jokes for next 4 years.

  • BMW

    I’m skeptical. This all sounds too good to be true.

    I mean, not the peeing part, cuz…eww, gross.

  • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

    Has the world stopped laughing at us yet Donnie?

  • Nounverb911
    • TJ Barke

      “I’ve got a great brain”

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      but did he grab them by their soggy pussies? American grammaws and preschoolers need to know!…

  • ltmcdies
    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
      gasp!
      AHAHAHAHAHAHA–DAMN!

      I just pissed myself.

      • PussyGrabbinRussianPatsy

        Careful drumpf may want to watch

      • ltmcdies

        HAHAHAHAAAHAAAA….

    • Juan de Fuca

      Ya beat me to it! My bad.

      Funny as hell though.

  • Nounverb911
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Patton wins the intertubes again.

  • yyyaz

    Is there any evidence Weaselpate actually stayed in the Moscow Ritz-Carlton? And if the presidential suite is “known” to be infested with FSB recording devices, wouldn’t the SecSvc have advised Bamz and Michelle not to stay there? And HairFuckedface seems way more like a scat perv to me. Many ????

    • Aquaria

      All hotels that foreigners use in Moscow have recording devices, especially in the $$$$ rooms and suites.

      This has been standard practice for decades now.

      • yyyaz

        : )

    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      Hellzbellz, they have enough problems keeping bugs out of Embassy buildings.

      • yyyaz

        Yeah, granted. The main point I was trying to raise is that it should be damned easy to at least prove that Herr Fatfuck was physically present in that hotel at the time this is alleged to have gone down.

        • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

          you’re right – I’m concerned about embracing all this unconfirmed reports stuff – but given this last election, I’m more than happy to make as many jokes as possible and enjoy same.

    • YoNastyBunny

      Well, with Hillary’s intel, she likely knew she was being bugged, so kept a lid on sensitive conversations. I suspect Obama’s team likewise knew the same things and just “went along”, being careful not to do or say anything compromising.

      Trump, Asshole Magnanimous, was stupid enough to brag about puss-burgling on a tv-show while wearing a mic. Clearly the Kremlin didn’t really have to bother with clandestinely bugging Trump.

      • yyyaz

        Remember when the Russian grapevine feed was buzzing about Drumpf being a non-viable candidate in the immediate aftermath of the pussygrab tape? Add the pee-pee allegations that, if true, Putin already had to the tape release and it makes the non-viable assessment more sensible.

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz
    • Tallmutha

      Oh God, I think I needed a release, because I laughed my ass off at this.

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        I try.

  • jen

    Lets see those Trump fans explain this away.

    • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

      They are already claiming fake news, you can’t believe any news source (besides Brietbart) etc, ad nauseum.

      FAKE NEWS, SAD!

      • YoNastyBunny

        Experts on fake news that they are.

        • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

          I’ve got my fingers crossed on this one. I wonder which Republican congressman leaked it (pardon the pun)?

    • TJ Barke

      “It’s all liberal propaganda” There, that’s a preview of what they will say.

    • DahBoner

      Destination: Denial, Egypt in 3…2…1
      https://media2.giphy.com/media/KzyKLNr39BeHm/200_d.gif#147

  • DahBoner
    • mailman27

      “I have to be honest.” Now that’s funny! It just doesn’t stop.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    Could be worse–could be scheisse porn.

  • therblig

    there’s a yellow flow in moscow
    i’m payin’ for to see
    just me and two cute hookers
    from my good pal vladdie

  • Me not sure

    M : ” Do there have to be so many piss references, 007? I mean, really!” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/81538a25a45634e46ec2da460c64cc20aad538d5d2fe5c42b2cd438c791ad4a9.jpg

  • Nounverb911
  • President in Exile Firefly

    I can’t wait for KaC to spin this…

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    This is the moment when the white underclass decides that peeing on hookers makes America Great Again.

    • Count Awesome

      If they could only afford a hooker…

      • Mehmeisterjr

        That’s why we need Hookercare.

        • Count Awesome

          The Affordable Hooker Act!

  • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

    Shocked. Shocked, I say.

  • TJ Barke

    Most corrupt admin ever, not even in office yet.

    • yyyaz

      The bar has been lowered so far it is sagging from the heat of the Earth’s core.

  • Bill D. Burger

    “The Trumpanov Story: Fifty Shades of Gold”

  • msanthropesmr

    This story broke disqus. No wait. Broke it worse.

    • Nounverb911

      I just noticed that.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Disqus has been in a mood. Thanks, Trump.

  • memzilla Ω
  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    There was peeing?

  • Nounverb911

    Now Sessions has more to cry about…
    https://twitter.com/daveweigel/status/818962897179201537

  • boyblue123

    Donnie Moscow probably should have thought twice about talking smack about the CIA

  • therblig

    i imagine that anyone who’s ever had trump water is frantically gargling with drano about now.

  • theCryptofishist

    Pfft, those housekeepers are only immigrants, anyway.

  • DahBoner
  • Blender_415

    Remember, this is Trump – if the hookers actually received money instead of just getting fucked over like everyone else that has worked for Trump, I’m a little suspect.

    That being said, has Trump asked R. Kelly to perform at the inauguration?

    • don’t be silly. He was there as a personal guest of Putin.
      The Russian Taxpayers paid for the hookers

  • msanthropesmr
  • Hellhathnofury Demme

    What idiotic tweet is he going to come out with now?
    Look over there!
    Squirrel!

    • Mean press
      Fake news
      and blame the democrats.
      100% calling it right now.

    • ltmcdies

      FAKES NEWS WITCH HUNT… I can’t post it because I blocked the asshole

  • eggsacklywright

    “Your Majesty is like a stream of bat’s piss.”

  • msanthropesmr

    Wow disqus is sending me backwards and forwards in time. I think I might hurl.

    • Billy Pilgrim, is that you?

    • yyyaz

      You just know this place drives RWNJ wannabe hackers crazy trying to shut it down.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      I just finally got it to behave. Ah, the pleasure of “2 new comments above”.

  • therblig

    reporter: mr. trump, what do you have to say about this report of “golden showers”?

    DJT: scat!

  • Begin Anew Day

    I read it and so should you!

    Yo donnie! The honeymoons OVER!

    Get ready for the churning mills of karma to crunch you up and spit you out on the ash heaps of HISTORY!

  • BMW

    From the Buzzfeed link:
    The Trump administration’s transition team did not immediately respond to BuzzFeed News’ request for comment. However, the president-elect’s attorney, Michael Cohen, told Mic that the allegations were absolutely false.
    “It’s so ridiculous on so many levels,” he said. “Clearly, the person who created this did so from their imagination or did so hoping that the liberal media would run with this fake story for whatever rationale they might have.”

    You know, the fact that Michael “Says Who? What Polls?” Cohen is leading the denial brigade on this…

    …okay, maybe he was right about those polls after all. Nevermind.

  • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

    This time, Billy Bush can say he wasn’t there.

    • Snopes Shop

      We have yet to see the video footage

    • Blacktop Autumn

      Even Billy draws the line at hookers pissing on one another.

  • Tallmutha

    OK, I’m gonna try to be (BWAA HAA HAAA) serious for a (HAH) minute:

    You must all take a pledge right now: If you hear or read ANYONE suggesting that there is reason to be skeptical about this, you MUST reply with all due dispatch: “All the more reason for a full, independent probe, right?”

    • President in Exile Firefly

      I’m all in favor of a full probe, all right. All the way to the tonsils.

  • theCryptofishist

    This is the Cyrillic F: Ф
    I don’t know why we have the ph for the greek f (which I think is the same as the Cyrillic.) I blame the Romans on GP.

  • Aquaria

    Some of the responses on Twitter have been priceless:

    Buzzfeed has committed….

    …yellow journalism.
    — David S. Bernstein (@dbernstein) January 10, 2017

    It’s a pity Watergate is already taken.
    — JoeMyGod (@JoeMyGod) January 10, 2017

    Make America Golden Shower Again. https://t.co/bnKpeQ4ze5
    — Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) January 10, 2017

    We are at a watershed moment in American history.
    — Matt Ortega (@MattOrtega) January 10, 2017

    Which journalist is going to ask Trump about golden showers during tomorrow’s presser and how are they going to phrase it? https://t.co/I563GOEVxp
    — Julia Rosen (@juliarosen) January 11, 2017

    pee-OTUS
    — Brian Beutler (@brianbeutler) January 11, 2017

    Hey @realDonaldTrump, can I come to urinauguration?
    — David Waldman (@KagroX) January 11, 2017

    • Watergate is taken, but yellowwatergate is not, nor is humanwatergate or wastewatergate!

      • RyanInIllinois

        Is watersportsgate too clumsy?

    • mailman27

      The whole thing sounds factually dubious, but goddam it’s good for a laff!

  • Truck Fump
  • Nounverb911
    • shaar dula

      senor trump release your taxes.

    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      it’s possible those are even more humiliating than this whole mess.

    • ltmcdies

      this….exactly…
      Trump could have avoided a lot had he just done what every presidential candidate since god knows hold long has done and released his damn taxes…and properly divested himself of his businesses.

      that’s the trouble when you want to be a part time president.

      • Rags

        Trump probably can’t divest without going bankrupt.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I’m convinced that Trump would rather release his bladder than release his tax returns. Just sayin’.

      • Naytch

        You think about your bladder a lot at his age.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Apparently, Trump thinks a lot about other people’s bladders at his age…

    • therblig

      at least let’s see his withholding it in

  • Count Awesome

    I’m sure that Trump just wanted his own version if that chick with the gold paint in “Goldifnger” and felt this would be an effective yet affordable way to make a replica.

  • Reality Kills

    None of Donald’s morons should be confirmed. Hope they get rid of Jeff Sessions! The moron wants to takes us back to ’20s. No pot? Bullshit! Fuck you old man!

  • azeyote

    i’m sure he insisted on the showers being golden –

    • YoNastyBunny

      Mayhaps, he saw it on the menu of services and ordered it because “GOLDEN” so whatever it is it’s the yoogest and most classiest, of course he’ll have three!!!!

  • Bill D. Burger
  • DahBoner
  • boyblue123

    Leaked top secret footage of Drumpf

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C12dOkOXcAULlXv.jpg

    • Vecchiojohn

      You said leak. Heh. Heh heh.

  • Vecchiojohn

    Make America urinate again.

  • shaar dula

    to all folks who believed trump would take this all to anywhere but the gutters & the loo. here’s to you, the privilege y’all exercise and to your obstinate obedience. sure & thanks for knowing what makes America great again and imposing it.

    • yyyaz

      A round of Bud Light for all my friieeennndddsss!

  • Bill D. Burger
  • JustDon’tSayOverrated

    Did they test the urine for PEDs?

  • Count Awesome

    Trump pissed away his so called “mandate”.

  • Nounverb911
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Ummmm… has he ever stayed in a Moscow hotel?

  • lucidamente

    Andrea Mitchell doing her best to say “Nothing to see here.” Jesus, these people.

  • DainBramage

    When do the impeachment hearings begin?

    • Nounverb911

      Just in time for Women’s March on Washington to witness it.

    • Count Awesome

      I.M.-Pee-chment.
      FTFY

      • DainBramage

        Wow! I new I missed a golden opportunity!

  • yyyaz

    And here I thought that labeling his hair color as “Morning Piss” was just a joke.

  • Nounverb911
  • Msgr_MΩment

    ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬Golden showers fill your eyes…..

  • BMW

    See, kids, this is the real reason you shouldn’t lie all the time. Even when if you ARE telling the truth, nobody’s going to believe you.

  • Fun with Cthulhu

    A prescient non-commenter here (Ω cynmac) was referring to the event on 20-Jan as The Urination.

    • MΩebym

      This scandal ought to be called “Urinehotwater”.

      • Paul

        One of the best. Thanks.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      My mom took me to the doctor today and I said the Urination in front of her. I got a genuine smile. She usually zones out when I talk politics, but I bet she reuses that one!
      And I stole it from another Wonketeer ~ not an original, but a good one worth stealing!

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Belasaurius

    in Soviet Russia, bed pees on you!

  • msanthropesmr

    How can you be president if no one wants to shake your hand?

    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

      “I had them install handi-wipe dispensers at the entrance to the Oval Office.” – Joe Biden.

    • Duke

      At that instant, Trump will declare that OTHER PEOPLE are not worthy of touching him.

  • Unpresidented Ron

    Exactly how much evidence do you people NEED before you toss Drumpf and his lackeys in Leavenworth?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Naw. I’m waiting for him to room with Assange.

    • TJ Barke

      He could murder their mothers and they’ll still be slobbing his piss pipe.

  • jodyleek

    So, that’s how they make Trump Water!

    • Nounverb911

      Nyet, Trump Vodka!

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Considering his German ancestry, is anybody else surprised there was peeing and not shitting?

  • Nounverb911
  • Bozilingus

    Get to use this twice in one day! Priceless!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhgC2o6IEeo

  • Marceline

    This is obviously another attempt to distract from Barack’s farewell address.

    I’m okay with it.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Uh huh! Just wait til the pissed off intelligence community starts leaking about the new POTUS?
    ¯_(ツ)_/¯

    Sorry, it had to be said!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      ISWYDT.

  • Nounverb911
  • Kevin Morin

    I’m starting to feel great again…Thanks Trump!

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I’m winning so much I’m afraid I’ll wet my pants – thank Dog I’m not wearing any….

  • Bill D. Burger
    • RobKanC

      Cabbage!

      • Duke

        Broccoli!

        • RobKanC

          Mom’s Spaghetti!

  • Count Awesome

    Pee sex, hookers and probably cocaine are as American as…?

    BTW: Charlie Sheen must be considering a career in politics right about now.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Msgr_MΩment

    I was hoping for Trump to just go, but it’s funnier when it’s the hookers who need to go.

  • Blacktop Autumn

    I don’t even care if it’s true anymore. Let’s spread enough innuendo and speculation to make sure this NEVER goes away.

    “I’m going to be saying “Did he get Vlad’s permission?” for the next four years, assuming he lasts that long.

    • Snopes Shop

      Agreed

    • YoNastyBunny

      Well, if they made EMAILS!!!1!1!1! a thing that would not die…

  • Tallmutha

    Even if this all turns out to be unconfirmable, I believe the nation’s comedians have just been given four years’ worth of employment insurance.

  • Nounverb911
  • Bill D. Burger
    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      suddenly explaining why Dave and Eric kiss each other isn’t so bad, is it prudes?

    • Duke

      It’s the shower you take on your golden birthday.

      Doy!

    • BosGrl

      Explaining cigars wasn’t a joy either. I MISS PRESIDENT OBAMA ALREADY!

  • Vienna Woods

    Wow, shit is really going down.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    “Source D’ as saying Trump’s conduct included hiring prostitutes ‘to perform a ‘golden showers’ (urination) show in front of him.’ It says the hotel was known to be under the control of Russia’s FSB, with hidden cameras and microphones. “

    Terrible. Sad. Apparently Jr’s “Diaper Don” role has a family history.

  • ltmcdies

    hey guys….the media is suddenly all concerned about uncorroborated reports from people in Russia…maybe if Wikileaks had dumped this stuff instead of it coming from the CIA…they’d have an easier time believing the story

  • Lesser Tiffany

    God PLEASE SOMEONE CONFIRM PLEASE

  • Nounverb911
  • Jenny

    It’s going down motherfuckers!

  • So, are Republicans shouting about transgendered people using the bathroom to distract from the fact that they’ve made terms like, “tea bagging”, “pussy” and “golden showers” legitimate political topics?

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      It worked so well for “blow jobs”….

  • Blacktop Autumn

    So, we have Alabama wanting to see your junk and Trump wanting to pee on hookers.

    But, yeah, LGBT people are the concern.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Hold on! I’m sensing a Twitter storm of epic proportions overnight.

    http://www.mercurynews.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/twittertoon03.jpg?w=620

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Twitter twitter twitter twitter twitter twitter twitter…..

  • shaar dula

    we see your global warming and raise you golden showers. you take down florida, we take down continental USA. game on.

  • Cock Blockula

    At least this didn’t trickle out on a Friday. They saved it for hump day.

  • RobKanC

    My friend says, this is the republican establishment’s plan all along. They got Pence in as VP, this will put him in charge.

    • shaar dula

      just the amount of throwing up in their own mouths and then swallowing it many of the worthies will need to be doing is gonna be worth it.

      • RobKanC

        Yeah. They will basically legislate themselves to power for the next 30 years or until the coffers run out. Then the democrats will get to power just in time to accept all the blame.

    • yeah i’m hearing this supposed all over the place too.

  • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

    So, if a suit is filed over whether this is true or not and Trump lies under oath, we can impeach him right? I mean, there’s precedent.

    • shivaskeeper

      He can’t be impeached until he’s sworn in.

      • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

        That’s only, what 9 days away?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      He could be unpresidented.

  • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham
    • YoNastyBunny

      Wait, I have to get my poncho…

  • Nounverb911
    • Duke

      He doesn’t understand what a “witch hunt” is.

    • Tallmutha

      OMG, look at the replies!

      • msanthropesmr

        Uh. Unreal.

    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      of course…the divide between the admin and the intelligence committee is going to be really bad now.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Separated by a deep canyon and a river of piss.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Fuck that. I’m going to be guarding my lions.

    • I so called fake news.
      C’mon mean press and Democrats, mamma needs a new pair of shoes!

  • Snopes Shop

    Trump just tweeted it was a fake news story/witch hunt so…

    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      did he blame it on politics? That was my prediction.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      All caps. He must be pissed.

    • FauxAntocles

      Must be true!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Golden Globes and now golden showers! Enjoy your gold Donny boy.

  • Blacktop Autumn

    Man, does he know this guy named R. Kelly?

  • Msgr_MΩment
    • Hellhathnofury Demme

      Love it!
      Even the foam fingers are short!

  • Tallmutha

    You know, Obama has some pretty good joke writers. I wonder if they’re scrambling right now?

  • Arse Grammatica

    Whether stuff is true or not, from this day forward Trump will not be able to say the word “leak” again without all 12-year-olds (and me) sniggering.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      “He said ‘leak’, Beavis.”
      “Yeah, again! heh heh heh hmm heh heh heh!”

  • Count Awesome

    “The president-elect would like to be referred to as Mr. Trum. Please just forget about the ‘P’ from here on out.”
    –KaC

    • shaar dula

      are you going to believe what cums from his mouth or his heart? hmm, well how about nothing that comes from any of his orifices?

    • OrdinaryJoe

      “Why do you only believe his words. Why don’t you believe what’s in his baldder?” KAC

    • Shoto

      Also, too: “Pay attention to what’s in his heart, not what comes out of his idiot piehole…” Kellyanne Goebbels.

    • BackDoorMan

      …”No pee! No pee! You’re the pee!”

  • puredog

    If I didn’t love Wonkette already, I would love it for the locution “quids pro quo.” I bet that ThomasAugustus (or WeverTF his name was) would have gotten that one wrong.

  • Blanche Beecham

    I am really done with my parents for voting for this clown.

    • Spurning Beer

      Bet you’re pissed off.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I suspect my dad voted for Trump. He’s been uncharacteristically quiet. He really like Bernie and was donating to his campaign. But he hates hates hates the Clintons.
      I told my mom, who has supported Hillary since 2008 and who always votes straight Dem, to tell my dad not to ever say who he voted for. In my book, he has two strikes against him already, for voting for Nixon in 1972 and for voting for Gingrich in 1978.

  • lucidamente

    Watersportsgate

    Peepot Dome

    IranmybladderContra

    • MΩebym

      Urinehotwater

    • msanthropesmr

      Peepot Dome!
      PEEPOT DOME

      YOU ARE GENIUS!

      • Count Awesome

        WaterSportsGate

      • lucidamente

        ❤ ❤

      • This was also my favourite

      • OneYieldRegular

        That combined with “Boss Tweet” is really quite awesome.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      #voteGOPee

    • katkelly57

      Piss and tell.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      PISSGHAZI!!

    • Vecchiojohn

      Pee-ghazi!!!

  • DoILookAmused2u ?
  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    It’s good of Wonkette to keep the streams separate…

    • Duke

      Don’t cross the streams.

    • Truthiness2U

      Never cross the (golden) streams. We leave that to DJT.

  • Nounverb911

    Disqus is really going bonkers tonight.

    • Weirdly, it always seems to go weird on nights where something big happens.
      Except Comey’s there might be more emails night.
      CONSPIRACY!!!!

  • Blacktop Autumn

    Well, at least no one has turned up dead yet, so the Republicans can hold onto that.

    • Ωbjectifier

      IDK anybody been out to the Pine Barrens lately?

  • boyblue123

    Is there a new SNL this week because it looks like theyll have a bit of material to work with

    • Blacktop Autumn

      You can’t put this shit on basic TV, man.

      • BosGrl

        Innuendo is an art.

    • BMW

      Yeah, and Felicity Jones is hosting.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    And tonight on Russia’s Funniest Videos……

  • Wild Cat

    Ha! I called it this a.m.:

    Wild Cat 9 hours ago
    A nation of utter hung-up morons without passports (except for war).
    Unisex bathrooms are common in Western Europe; it’s not unusual to see a cleaning lady in a men’s room doing her business (mopping up the piss) while the men deposit their piss (hopefully) in the urinal.
    I propose we have a study-abroad program for all gop neo-nazis in piss mopping. It’ll be more productive than their usual inclination, which is piss drinking.
    8 Edit View in discussion
    Discussion on wonkette.com 307 com

  • Nounverb911

    #PEEOTUS is starting to trend!

  • SayItWithWookies

    I hear Trump’s Russian handler was an agent named Yuri Thra.

    • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

      They meet on the Volga in a boat captained by Chlamydia Unrinski

    • Résistance Land Shark

      Code name: You Tee Eye.

  • BMW
    • BosGrl

      I truly love that man.

  • sw19bender

    The very machine that created misdirection, and ensured people will believe any crazy shit, just got hoist on its own petard.

    Hey, Donald – as you and your surrogates were once so quick to cry – prove this didn’t happen!

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Of course Trump wants to see golden showers.

  • shaar dula
    • shaar dula

      witch hunt in shallow putrid waters.

      • Count Awesome

        More like on a very stained mattress.

    • Wild Cat

      All caps . . . how rude.

    • Lesser Tiffany

      ahahahhahhahahahhahahhaha

    • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

      Until I see the Russian videos, I dunno. Then again I don’t want to watch the videos. If this is just the Intelligence folks deservedly trolling Trump, buckle up comrades, its gonna be some ride.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Not. Going. To. Work. This. Time.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Perfect twitter time coordination with Obama’s farewell speech. Trump’s such a dick.

    • boyblue123

      KaC said not to believe anything Drumpf says on twitter though

    • Scrofula

      We’re not hunting, Donnie.

    • katkelly57

      Blah blah fucking blah Donnie….how many times a day do you say/tweet that same song and dance?

      Personally, I’d hire those hookers just to piss on him.

    • YoNastyBunny

      Sad.

    • BosGrl

      All lies! I never did!

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Donald, pissing all over this story is not going to help you.

    • BMW

      See, kids, this is the real reason you shouldn’t lie all the time. Even when if you ARE telling the truth, nobody’s going to believe you.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      All caps? It’s so true then. And the meltdown started early, so more to come. I’ve got to monitor Black Twitter tonight.

  • boyblue123
    • OrdinaryJoe

      “tinkle down”
      fixed

  • Duke

    I’ve been thinking that he has the unhackable Russian computers in Trump Tower and that’s why he wants to be there so much.

  • Nounverb911

    Where’s Chris Christie? Has anyone seen Chris Christie? Oh no, Chris Christie did this!

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Trump tweets this is FAKE NEWS. So it must be TRUE!

  • puredog

    I just gotta say, in passing, that if Trump like golden showers, meh. Different strokes. I see no difference from Bill C getting sucked off by an intern. There’s plenty more about Trump that disqualifies him from being dogcatcher, and though the sexual “gotcha” is fun, it’s really sort of beside the fucking point.

    • Snopes Shop

      Yeah but it’s Donald Trump.

    • Thiazin Red

      I agree, its very funny but by itself shouldn’t be something anyone needs to know. The collusion between the Russian government and Trump should really be the focus.

    • jowgajen

      The point is that the hookers were arranged by the Russians, ok?

    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      I would agree with you if it was Trump and Melanoma enjoying watersports in Trump tower.

      But 1) hookers, which makes consent questionable and 2) caught on tape by a foreign government that can use it for leverage.

      But you’re right – it is fun.

      • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

        This, exactly. He has no self-control, no sense of propriety, no sense, period.

        • FauxAntocles

          And too stupid to realize a celeb would be spied on in Moscow.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Middle America gets blowjobs. They will not accept a “perv”.

    • It is not just the golden showers. It is the golden showers, from the hookers, while he is married, in the bed that the president of the united states slept in, provided by the russian government.

    • BosGrl

      I think it’s the why of it, not so much the it.

    • It’s more the Russian blackmail

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Yes, yes, yes, we are prostate with shame…..

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      The guy has a golden toilet. Of course he has golden showers to match.

  • Nounverb911
  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    January 20, 2017,

    Dear President Trump person,

    Congratulations on Urine-Auguration.

  • Apple Scruff

    Hi lawyer Michael Cohen has issued a denial. YES, THIS guy. So really, it’s all good.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nps8o-godjE

    • OrdinaryJoe

      The guy whose name is all over the report.

    • cmd resistor

      Haven’t seen that guy for a while but I always did find him offensive and sleazy.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Who among us….

    Actually, no. I got nothin’. Sociopath is also gross perv.

    • Blacktop Autumn

      Naw man.

      I’m rolling with this one. I can’t stop fucking laughing. The jokes are flying.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Well. This should make his presser tomorrow something to watch. #GOPee

    • Shoto

      If it happens…

  • Snopes Shop

    Bamz was given this intel last week. That guy is one cool customer.

  • Juan de Fuca
  • Adam Field

    Up next on the punk stage: The Piss Hookers!

    • unionthuggery

      They mostly do R Kelly covers. The show is great, but the pit turns into a marsh after the watersports during the final set.

  • Ωbjectifier

    Right now every local TV station in Phoenix is showing the same half hour PSA on opiates. It’s white kids now, so, crisis.

    Hell of a lead in.

    • Targeted. First white kids on drugs. Next, black president.

    • BosGrl

      It is a crisis. It is an epidemic.

      • (Major_Major_Major)ly+Fucked

        Here on the Cape I have several friends that are recovering addicts (one has been clean for 4 years now). It is a scourge, and yet we stigmatized the addicts instead of helping them.

        • BosGrl

          There are some good detoxes on the Cape. My life changed forever when my daughter died and this is my cause – end the stigma, fight for a solution. Your friends deserve a lot of love and praise – this is so very hard to overcome, impossible for too many. I hope they have long and happy lives!

          • (Major_Major_Major)ly+Fucked

            So sorry again about your daughter. The strength of my friends is amazing. As a functional alcoholic (no snark), I have made sobriety for as long as two years. Virtual bear hugs,and stay warm

          • Paul

            Congratulations. Hang in there….it gets easier as the years pass. I’ve got 32 years and counting, one day at a time brother, one day at a time.

          • BosGrl

            If you ever come to the Lowell area, I’ll buy ya a Dunks!

          • (Major_Major_Major)ly+Fucked

            Dunks are on me this go around. And same offer if you make it down to Falmouth, or anywhere on the upper cape.

      • Ωbjectifier

        I would argue it has been an epidemic for 100 years or more. It’s never gone away. That being said, the super synthetics are somewhat new.

        • BosGrl

          For some of us, it is more immediate and more critical, and there is no end in sight to the deaths, some 52,000 a year in this country, more than breast cancer. So yeah, it’s a crisis right this minute.

          • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

            I don’t wanna speak for Objectifier, and I won’t ever begin to understand your how much pain you’re in, but I think the point was, nobody was making PSA’s about it when it was a problem in just minority communities…a lot like how AIDS was ignored as a “gay” disease.

            However, you are absolutely right, it’s an epidemic, young and old, PoC and white folks. Rich and poor.

          • BosGrl

            You guys have a right to say that, because it’s true. I’m just speaking my truth. I should have answered differently; I’m just very quick to react to this stuff these days.

          • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

            Please don’t feel that way at all…no one would blame you whatsover. And frankly, you know more about this issue than I do.
            Anyway, friends?

          • BosGrl

            Always!!

          • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

            Yay!

    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      They had something similar when heroin was invading the dallas suburbs about 15 or 20 years ago.

    • georgiaburning

      Are the Tubes doing a comeback tour?

  • Nounverb911

    IT’S A PLOT!
    It’s a plot to divert attention from Bill O’Reilly

    https://twitter.com/NYDailyNews/status/818993308945022977

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
  • ltmcdies

    so Robert Jr…you still wanna be associated with Trump to question the safety of vaccines….maybe it should the safety of golden showers..

    hahahahahaaahhhhaa

  • Count Awesome

    Trump will nominate the TidyBowl Man to head the Navy, just because.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Nah. Overqualified.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    All this golden showers talk reminds me of his backers, the Mercers:

    But here’s what the mainstream media won’t tell you: Robert Mercer and his daughter have also funded a gigantic stockpile of human urine in Oregon.

    The urine stockpile is the project of Arthur Robinson, a chemist and founder of the Oregon Institute of Science and Medicine. Starting in 2005, the Mercer Family Foundation contributed at least $1.4 million to OISM, enabling Robinson to buy freezers to store his 14,000 samples of urine.

    Robinson wants still more urine, as much as possible, and issues frequent appeals to the public to contribute. According to the OISM newsletter, Robinson is collecting it in order to “calibrate analytical procedures that can revolutionize the evaluation of personal chemistry — and thereby improve our health, our happiness and prosperity, and even the academic performance of our children in school.”

    How exactly this will work is unknown. Robinson told Bloomberg earlier this year that “We’ve completed experiments here, which we could easily publish, but we want to wait until they are perfect.”

    This might make you suspect that Robinson is a troubled crank, but on the other hand … well, there actually is no other hand.

    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      “Mr. Robinson, the ghost of howard hughes is on line two.”

    • Spurning Beer

      Great! I’m a urine donor.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        “Here, hold my beer.”

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Are you saying that there’s a strategic urine gap?

  • Notreelyhelping

    This kind of puts a weird spin on all the notorious gold plating and gold flake surfaces in Trump properties.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2a8accd9f5a9cd2755b8e516083d01132a0bfccd59dcbe5cbe97ef174b4ec7bb.jpg

    • georgiaburning

      eeewww

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      That looks disgusting. So does his penthouse.

    • marxalot

      Explains why every Frump property looks like a Vegas commode, anyway.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    This is bullshit! Bullshit! I say. My current fantasy iswas pissing on our new Presitaint Trumputin. Now I find out that he might enjoy that. I hate my life!

    • i think it’s not credible but nothing is with this wanker.

    • marxalot

      I think he only enjoys the degradation of others. For his enjoyment. You’re still (ahem) golden.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Mrs Pixelz said this story is not credible. Until I reminded her that Little Donnie wants to fuck his daughter.

  • Spurning Beer

    A lot of people are saying that Donald’s suit coats are so boxy because they are hiding the bulges from his adult diapers. They are also saying that a British intelligence source says Donald is a chronic bedwetter.

    Trump campaign representatives deny these reports, and say they are lies being spread by enemies who are jealous about what a whiz Donald is at business.

    • katkelly57

      Yep…a regular financial whizard is he.
      He probably hides the diapers in that cone hat too.

    • Amalga

      “Whiz”…giggle snort😆

  • geoffalnutt

    Yes, but he wanted them to do it while standing on their heads.

    • katkelly57

      I heard at the swap meet he wanted them to piss up a rope too.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Has someone made the imPEEchment joke yet? Probably towards the bottom, huh?

  • Lesser Tiffany

    I know the other allegations in the dossier are terrifying but thank you MI5 man and CIA WE REALLY NEEDED THIS

    • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

      It’s best not to piss on the Intelligence Community.

  • Wild Cat

    If the neo-nazi did do that Annie Sprinkle routine (probably with 12-year olds), what does the KGB, the CIA, the FBI, Assange, Snowden, and the pimp on W 78th St. have on Comey the Traitor, Ryan the Rand Humper, and the Farting Turtle?

  • PussyGrabbinRussianPatsy

    So that’s why he is so discolored? he is king golden showers?. Lordy lordy… gonna be a fun inauguration… I’m sure he’ll tweet the news is overated and pathetic…

    • o’look Skwerl!

      The A-lst celebs are staying away. I wonder what how many P-listers are going to show up?

      • PussyGrabbinRussianPatsy

        R kelly just confirmed he’ll be there…

        • JurisGal

          This thread, I can’t stop reading it and laughing. I will have to bookmark it for the dark days ahead.

          • PussyGrabbinRussianPatsy

            Hell yeah gonna be a great thread! Lol!!! Trump, the shame of America…

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I can so totally understand why Comey thought a fake story about Hillary’s mythical emails was more important.

    • but the good thing is: if we get Beauregard, we get MORE investigations.

      because the email server are serious news. not russia. not news.

    • NellCote71

      Well, there was that child sex ring run out of a pizza parlor.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Both sides do it!!!

  • OrG

    Melon to donnie “Urine trouble now,mister!”

    • “Don’t piss on my head and tell me it’s raining, Melania.”

  • Penny Dreadful Says Resist
    • Begin Anew Day

      I’ve read a lot of fiction in my life.

      This? I’m going to say it has the ring of NON fiction.

      Even if it proves otherwise the stench is going to cling to him.

      President Hooker Pee? Sounds good to me.

    • Juan de Fuca

      I don’t believe it yet but considering the way he views women, hell the way that he views everybody not named Donald J Trump? I wouldn’t be surprised.

    • Hellhathnofury Demme

      He DOES have a thing about pee.
      Remember when he said that Hillary was “disgusting” for needing a pee-break?
      (I want to believe also.)

  • Nounverb911
  • MΩebym

    I’m so embarrassed for my country that I’m blushing IRL.

    • Suse

      Me, too. Will have to pretend I’m Canadian when I go to Italy this year.

  • PussyGrabbinRussianPatsy

    This just in… America is fcking doomed lol…

  • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

    Maybe all this just happened in the Ritz’ locker room.

  • Crestdurn

    The golden shower show was totally overrated. -Trump at 3 a.m., probably.

  • Nounverb911
    • Vincent Ricola

      Comey needs to go. No snark. He needs to resign in shame.

      • HogeyeGrex

        That would require actually having shame.

        He should never have been hired in the first place. This is what fucking happens when you try to play nice with Republicans.

    • NorthStarSpanx

      Holy Shit

    • katkelly57

      I just saw that on the news here….good reply.

    • OrG

      PERJURY

    • cmd resistor

      That was Angus King — delivery of the comment was great, too.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    The real surprise is that Little Donnie didn’t have Russian hookers piss on the Constitution.

    • Count Awesome

      That’s the entertainment at the inauguration.

      • JurisGal

        Hmm. what would the follow up to that act be? I guess Nugent gets a gig after all? ( Gross, I know but this whole story is so disgusting it is GISgusting!)

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly+Fucked

      He wanted to save that for himself.

  • Jon Sussex

    So that’s a sister golden hair surprise.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      …and I just can’t live without you
      Please don’t get any in my eyes…

  • Hither and Yawn

    I believe you’re spot on about “ALPHA” and “AΛΦA,” but this will clearly be sufficient for my wingnut friends to dismiss this in its entirety.

    • Begin Anew Day

      LOL. They’ll “get forensic” about the fonts and the spelling and the “mistakes”. But what else can you expect?

      They don’t think donnie was bullying a disabled journalist. The video says otherwise.

      • Hellhathnofury Demme

        They don’t believe anything they don’t want to believe.
        But we’re used to them.
        Fuck ’em.

      • OneYieldRegular

        You forgot to mention the kerning.

    • Hellhathnofury Demme

      OK.
      Time for us to know a lost cause when we see it.
      (Like the true believers would go for it anyway.)

  • Count Awesome

    Beware of any Trump Eau de toilette brand product.

    • tlynch67

      That’s “Eau de Polecat” brand.

  • Nounverb911
  • Vagenda and Tiara

    Golden showers bring no flowers, neither does Trump, because he’s a cheap ass date.

    Ba Dum PISS!!!!

    • Paul

      Extra bonus points for the innovative rim shot. Well played.

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        TBH, I was really just looking for an excuse to use the rimshot.

        • Naytch

          It won’t make a splash if you hit the rim.

  • Blacktop Autumn

    Barron is going to have a LOT of fun at school tomorrow, guys.

    • ltmcdies

      out of all of them…i feel sorry for that kid

      • HogeyeGrex

        Currently, yes.
        Once If he grows up and turns into as fucked up a human being as Uday and Qusay, all bets are off.

      • NellCote71

        Funny how DTR is all of the sudden interested in the supposed link between autism and vaccines.

    • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

      I really feel sorry for that kid. It’s hard enough when your dad is going to be president, but imagine what it’s like when your dad is a batshit tweetfreak who has skin as thick as a plums.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I actually do feel sorry for him. And his mom, who undoubtedly was ready to leave as soon as the idjit lost the election. Oops. On the plus side: More “Melania Moments” on SNL. Yay? Maybe?

  • OrdinaryJoe

    “Ask not what urine country can do for you. Ask what urine can do for your country.”

    • JurisGal

      I regret I have but one upvote to give. Well played.

  • georgiaburning

    Will David Vitter be called in for a briefing? Or, debriefing as the case may be?

    • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

      Diaper change maybe.

      • Naytch

        I think a lot of Republicans have soiled their armor.

        • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

          The wet cardboard is falling apart.

  • Scrofula

    OMG Bill did so much worse!! Consensual sex acts with a US citizen!!
    Where’s that lady who got so pissed about having to explain blow jobs to her daughter when Bill was pres?

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      Why was she explaining blow jobs to her daughter? Was she some kind of pervert?

      • Scrofula

        Drug addict, clearly. Hasn’t read Shakespeare either.

  • “I wouldn’t piss in his mouth if his stomach was on fire.” – me and Mojo Nixon…..and probably a couple of Russian girls also too.

  • (Major_Major_Major)ly+Fucked

    The tweet storm from a pissed off Donny will be epic. His #1 priority will be to flush this report down as quickly as possibe.

    • Begin Anew Day

      Doesn’t he have peepul to do that for him?

      • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

        He’ll want to mop up any doubts about his Christian character
        (I’m terrible at these).

    • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

      Hopefully this has hurt his pee-pees and he will melt down.

    • marxalot

      You know what they say- better to be pissed off than… well.

  • BosGrl

    Is this story true? Depends.

  • Ω cynmac will never surrender

    Corrupt As Fuck just blasted a CNN report about Trump’s intel briefing on Russia. CNN has the memos! Key in the report:

    Spokespeople for the FBI and the Director of National Intelligence declined to comment. Officials who spoke to CNN declined to do so on the record given the classified nature of the material. Some of the allegations were first reported publicly in Mother Jones one week before the election.

    It is so fucked up that we are back to relying links, like back in the days of Nixon and W.

    Link: http://www.cnn.com/2017/01/10/politics/donald-trump-intelligence-report-russia/index.html

    And if you haven’t subscribed to Corrupt As Fuck, I recommend it. Good stuff.
    https://corrupt.af/

  • boyblue123
    • JurisGal

      I am both grossed out and amused.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Don’t eat the yellow snow, as we say in the Shire.

  • Nounverb911
  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    I always knew that Donald J. Trump would make a piss-pour president.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Normally, I wouldn’t bladder to comment on a story like this.

    • JurisGal

      Just let this news whizz on by.

  • Jon Sussex

    Can’t wait for Todd Starnes’ take on this.

    • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

      How is Fox and Friends going to cute this up tomorrow?

  • sosuume
  • Nounverb911
  • Count Awesome

    I’ll just leave this here:

    https://youtu.be/8Sc6NSgTySU

  • Marion in Savannah

    Stolen from Tengrain because I don’t know how to post tweets:

    “When you play cards with Trump every hand is a flush.”

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Just when it looks like Trump couldn’t get any worse well along comes a nickname: Tiny Goldfingers

  • FDRliberal

    Alt-Right Amphibian is having a sad tonight…

    https://twitter.com/efuseakay/status/818995032082579457

  • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

    OT: Apparently O’Queef got busted again:
    “COUNTER-STING: James O’Keefe’s Troll Network Caught Offering “Huge Sums” To Disrupt Inauguration [VIDEO]

    January 10, 2017 Crackpots, Teabagistan

    AlterNet reports:

    James O’Keefe, the conservative operative whose discredited video “stings” have resulted in him paying massive fines and apologizing to his targets, is up to his usual stunts. This time, O’Keefe’s Project Veritas—a hilarious name for an organization that has nothing but contempt for the truth—is taking aim at anti-Trump activists and critics. The group’s latest con, which takes a page right out of the FBI’s 1960s COINTELPRO book, involves attempts at bribing progressive activists to disrupt inauguration activities, creating violence, sowing discord and generating lots of bad press for conservative media to gloat over. Unfortunately for O’Keefe, two left-leaning groups conducted a video counter-sting that caught him and his would-be accomplices in the act.

    From the Huffington Post:

    The counter-sting, carried out by The Undercurrent and Americans Take Action, a project of a previous target of provocateur James O’Keefe, managed to surreptitiously record elements of O’Keefe’s network offering huge sums of money to progressive activists if they would disrupt the ceremony and “put a stop to the inauguration” and the related proceedings to such a degree that donors to the clandestine effort would “turn on a TV and maybe not even see Trump.”

    To have riots blot out coverage of Trump, the donor offered “unlimited resources,” including to shut down bridges into D.C. The Undercurrent, led by executive producer Lauren Windsor, is sponsored by American Family Voices, which was among a constellation of groups infiltrated by O’Keefe’s Project Veritas during the presidential campaign, an effort to link Democrats with voter fraud.”
    http://www.joemygod.com/2017/01/10/counter-sting-okeefe-inauguration/

    • YoNastyBunny

      Yet again, A Idiot proves that only rightwing nuts are that goddamn stupid.

    • Melanbunny

      What is it with these people and their strange obsession with shutting down bridges? First Chris Christie, now this clown. Leave the damn bridges alone. People have places to go and things to do. Assclowns.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      O’Keefe can’t even get a Reichstag fire incident right. Sad.

  • Jenny

    While everyone is talking about hooker pee…the way more corrupt dealings in China are overlooked. Get to it WaPo!

  • Marion in Savannah

    So I guess this is how Trump plans to make America #1?

  • Scrofula

    I figured it out! Trump can get R Kelly to perform at his ‘naug.

  • Juan de Fuca

    You wanna know what’s really going to piss Trump off? Even Sputnik news is leaking the story. Not going to post the link (because it seems like propaganda to me and it’s Rebecca’s blog) but a Russian news site is showing what they claim to be photocopied excerpts of the report.

    Ya got played dipshit.

  • So, if the allegations are true, does Congress impeach and take the black eye or do they try to sweep everything under the rug?

    • unionthuggery

      Rug’s been pissed on. Shame too, it really tied the room together.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      In for a penny, in for a ruble.

    • akryan

      Sweep under rug. Trump will do what he did in the campaign. He’ll go do some new crazy thing and the media will forget all about this and cover new crazy thing. As long as he keeps being terrible, the sum of his terrible actions will never be added up. It’ll always just be one minor scandal after another that he has to deal with.

  • Nounverb911
    • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

      If you poke a balloon long enough it’s gonna burst.

    • Shoto

      Orange Man-Baby is Certifiable.

  • JurisGal

    Someone wake me up, I MUST be dreaming. Is anyone going to stop this nightmare?

    • Blacktop Autumn

      Not until you feel the warm, steady stream, apparently.

      • JurisGal

        This thread! Love it!

      • YoNastyBunny

        Yeah, this is rather reminiscent of my bed wetting days as a young’n. You go to bed and wake up the next morning like “Holy Hell! How did I let this happen!?! I went to the bathroom before bed.”

  • OrdinaryJoe

    This story was leaked!!!

  • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

    The Disqus help desk suggests you contact Doc Brown and his Delorean and if you’re over 50, try Mister Peabody and his Wayback machine.

    • Naytch

      ” Not again, this trick never works!! ” R. J. Squirrel.

  • Arse Grammatica

    I would be happy to pee on Trump except for the fact that he would (ALLEGEDLY) like it.

    • HogeyeGrex

      As they say, I wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire.

    • ahughes798

      Trump and Berry had a party
      it was a big ado
      ‘cuz Trump likes #1s
      And Chuck likes #2’s.

  • BosGrl

    I was having such a bad day but now I’m actually laughing. Thanks, Drumpf!

  • SayItWithWookies

    “We’re gonna be wetting so much, you’ll be tired of wetting.”

    • A_Changeling

      Extreme wetting.

  • BigBoppa pour la résistance
    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      she’s thinking about what he’s doing to her sheets RIGHT NOW.

      • marxalot

        Do you know how much those cost? And by the way, why we’ve gone though more staff in the past 12 months than I’ve had hot dinners?

  • Begin Anew Day

    Oh fuck it! I can’t wait for tomorrow morning to get here so I can read about donnie’s reaction.

    Excuse me while I pop into the TARDIS and just stroll over to tomorrow and check it out.

    ******* SHORT PAUSE*********

    OK. I’m back. And let me tell you…IT’S FUCKING EPIC!

  • Nounverb911
    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      lifezette must be bought and paid for – cause theoretically it could be verified…

    • TJ Barke

      You know what actually was unverifiable fake news? EVERYTHING ABOUT THE GODDAMNED EMAILS AND BENGHAZI!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Actually Donnie, you could verify them

    • boyblue123

      He linked to a site that said Hillary had JFK jr killed

    • Of course, this is “fake news”. But that whole birth certificate thing was Just Asking Important Questions.

    • PUAAN Pussy Has Clawz

      “salacious alleqations”. oh. my. tsk.

  • Shoto

    Meanwhile, Deranged Orange Turdboy asserts, “FAKE NEWS, etc.”

    You can’t make this shit up.

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/818990655418617856

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Ah yes. His usual go-to: Shouty 16-year old screaming, “Nuh uh!”

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        just like his idjit base

    • TJ Barke

      Not only a pervert, which I could forgive, but a traitorous lunatic pervert.

    • HogeyeGrex
  • Bozilingus

    National Weather Service has just leaked that there may be showers in D.C. on inauguration day.

  • boyblue123
    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      awww, there really is no bottom to the jokes…I love it.

  • Hutch

    You know, Melania looks like the type. Don’t ask me how I know.*

    *Totally mispent youth.

  • Wild Cat

    O fuck, man . . . I wish Terry Southern or Hunter Thompson were alive to see this perverted neo-nazi whiteboy shit. Somehow, Noam Chomsky’s jokes just don’t hit me in my funny bladder.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Oh, what fun Molly Ivins would have…

    • Me The People

      Also Christopher Hitchens – I think he would have destroyed Trump long before it got to this, if he were he still around.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Over/under on number of urination jokes in Barry Bam’s speech?

  • WIDTAP

    Ok – $20 bucks day Donnie will actually respond to all of this, because he can’t help himself.

    • Résistance Land Shark

      No bet.

  • bye loves. i was in grant park in ’08. got to listen to this and weep.

    (love you all – and god these times.)

    • marxalot

      I remember hooking the TV up to the cable/antenna for the first time, dragging it into the bedroom because we couldn’t unhook the modem, and struggling to get a picture so we could watch that night.
      Great days, comrade.

  • Count Awesome

    This just in: Mississippi would just like to be called Mississi.

    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      “Dammit, that has sissie in it. Okay, just call us Miss. Dammit! That makes it sound like we care about the womenz…just call us Really South Dakota.”

      • marxalot

        “Can we call it ‘Heritagevania’?”

  • Vecchiojohn

    This is yellow journalism at its worst.

  • MilwaukeeKent

    So enough about hookers and pee. A REAL president is about to speak. Off to the thread? Or is this the REAL thread?

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      We all haz a confused on that. I have both threads open in different tabs. Because I panic easily.

  • Wild Cat

    The neo-nazi did tell us he had various revenue streams.

  • Nounverb911
    • Hellhathnofury Demme

      This is the world we live in now, Joan.
      (And yes, we Hillary voters deserved better.)

  • WIDTAP
  • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

    Could it be that Trump isn’t really clear what “waterboarding”is?

    • coozledad

      That Trump Vodka is piss. Actually.

  • YoNastyBunny

    When’s WikiLeaks going to grab their smelling salts and tell us all how unfair this leak was to Donald? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/935a5f3a22b09cfa34d080b3ab73ae9074d127d9275575d8a903fc519c51739d.gif

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Right after Vlad tells him to

    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      scroll down a bit…or maybe up – I posted a thing but disqus is doing weird stuff.

  • Tallmutha

    Will Barack be able to keep a straight face? Probably, he’s such a boy scout.

    • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

      Maybe he can slide some urine related puns into the speech.

  • OrG

    4 more years

  • akryan

    Not quite convinced. I have no problem believing he’d do this, but I’m not ready to go with the story just yet.

  • (Major_Major_Major)ly+Fucked

    Donny announces his new inaugural theme. https://youtu.be/NhgC2o6IEeo

  • Suse

    Go piss up a rope, Don.

  • marxalot

    Since Cyrillic does not have separate letters/phonemes for “f” and “ph” (they had to save up for their 12 vowels, 8 of which are “e”), “Alfa” Bank would be a direct transliteration of the Cyrillic. “Alpha” Bank is more of a translation.
    /’splainer

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      Da, comrade. The diverting trivia of a Russian spelling is name of Comrade Khrushchev, having only the six letters: Хрущёв.

      • marxalot

        Is more efficient! Also makes it easy to spot decadent imperialist spies. They choke halfway through.

        • Amy!

          They have more trouble choking on good Russian vodka! Пшеничная водка! Russian best!

          (transliterated for non-cyrillic-spellers: pshenichnaia vodka)

          (also, it really is the best, tastiest vodka ever; tastes like liquid granite)

  • Spurning Beer

    Drain the swamp, drain the lizard — what’s the difference?

  • Count Awesome

    Was “Pee-pee Longstoocking” on in the background when this happened?

  • OrdinaryJoe

    How did Wikileaks miss this story?

  • TJ Barke

    Might start a twitter account just to call him a perverted lunatic.

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly+Fucked

      Can I suggest using the avatar Donald P Trump

    • Steve Haughn

      Love Dwight & that song!

  • unionthuggery

    This is golden!

  • SayItWithWookies

    “By all measures, America is a better, stronger place than it was when we started.”
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wf0iPIMWoTw

  • HogeyeGrex

    It’s all the media’s fault. Yup, just another case of yellow journalism.

  • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

    Bamz is on to say bye. Trump is watching. Expect a tweet soon saying he had bigger crowds.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “Totally Overrated. Grover Cleveland could pull in the crowds, too.”

  • Begin Anew Day

    Making Watergate?

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Whine, whine, whine. Big difference between “not yet officially verified” and fake. Sucks to be on the other side of that for a change, doesn’t it, Donny?
    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/819000924207251456

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Laura Ingraham runs that site. Go figure.

      • data_ninja

        I was wondering why that specific site (that I’ve never heard of before) was linked.

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly+Fucked

      Unverifiable means that it also can’t be disproven. Mwahahaha

    • Juan de Fuca

      Your friend Vladmir’s state-run media outlet (Sputnik) is running screenshots of the memos, Donald! But go ahead and keep blaming the media in your own country. Treasonous motherfucker.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I think the golden shower business could certainly be verified. I just don’t want to watch the tapes.

    • boyblue123

      He linked to a website that published a “Hillary helped kill JFK jr” story

  • ServantToTheStars

    Golden Shower Parachute for the Cum Trumpster.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Can’t wait for El Chumpo to give his first State of the Urine speech.

  • akryan

    Well, yeah, but emails. Both sides do it.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Chris Cilizza is still complaining about the optics.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Fuck Cilizza- damned villager idjit

  • Sedagive

    America is going to make Ancient Rome look like Candyland.

    • Michael Smith

      Pee candyland

  • stankbait

    Adopted a “PRO russian Policy position” after that. Tha’ts a new one I’ve never heard of. Hope Melania likes it. Not in the kamasutra!!

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Turns out Donnie is more into water sports than Ryan Lochte

  • AngryKatie

    I’m about 1/2 through the memos. If even half of this is true, holy shit.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      The collusion is strong between the Trumpsters and the Kremlin.

    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      do tell…what’s in there that hasn’t been mentioned/mocked already? (i’m lazy and drunk, sooooo, yeah)

      • AngryKatie

        Details of collusion between Manafort and Putin, including Russia providing intel in Hillary in return for Trump supporting Putin friendly policies.

        Carter Page and Michael Cohen acting as intermediaries between the Kremlin and the Campaign.

        Extensive corruption with Trump’s dealings in China.

        Putin has been running Trump for at least 8 years, initially to provide intel on US dealings of Russian oligarchs.

        Ties between Alpha/Alfa, Putin and the Trump campaign (Alfa is the bank that the secret server in Trump tower was communicating with).

        The goal of much of the leaked info/faked info was to push young Bernie supporters to lose faith in the Dem party and vote for Trump. They hoped Hillary would be so bogged down in controversy she’d be hamstrung domestically. They wanted to push both candidates to back policies Putin deemed better for Russia (like opposing TPP).

  • Count Awesome

    Mexico is now considering paying for that wall just so they don’t make Trump pissed off.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Republican Sen. Lindsey Graham discussed the possibility of an investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, suggesting that a probe might already be underway.

    Asked about the possibility of a probe on NBC’s “Meet the Press,” the South Carolina senator said: “I believe that it’s happening. But you need to talk to them because I don’t want to speak for them.”

  • BearOmegaNomNom

    William Jennings Bryan, we hardly knew ye. #CrossOfGold

    • Msgr_MΩment

      #Don’tCrossStreamsOfGold

  • Nounverb911
  • BearOmegaNomNom

    And now all Resistance members will be given T.A.T.U.s.

    • Reality Kills

      Nice music but that duo couldn’t be more homophobic, racist, etc!

      • BearOmegaNomNom

        Wasn’t their whole schtick convincing straight guys they were lesbians? Or perhaps Bear is getting senile.

        • Reality Kills

          They were as twisted as one can be. They were OK with women showing affection (a.ka., lesbians) but couldn’t stand and bashed guys gay!

  • Michael Smith

    Mr. Trump i thought you were a Russian but really your a peein!

  • Count Awesome

    The Chinese premierw will have to remind Trump that their Yellow River is longer and more majestic than his.

  • Reality Kills

    Donald is an albino baboon! Fuck him! Fuck Putin! Fuck Sessions!

    • Résistance Land Shark

      don’t forget Pence!

    • BearOmegaNomNom

      I’ve been trying my damnedest to put some together OH WAIT.

  • boyblue123

    The bigger story in all of this: Manafort had knowledge of DNC hacking. Russia agreed to leak that info in exchange for sidelining tough anti-Russia language in the RNC platform

    https://twitter.com/flaneur/status/818995578189316096

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I really hope this serious stuff doesn’t get lost by our idiot MSM

  • marxalot

    Over/under on Frump pushing the press conference back/canceling altogether?

    ETA- challenge: he cannot use the “family emergency” excuse since we all know he doesn’t give a shit about his family.

    • Shoto

      Dunno, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he deferred it.

    • OrG

      Zero?

    • OrdinaryJoe

      He will read a statement but won’t take questions.

    • boyblue123

      Itd be a public humiliation for him to appear tomorrow. Hes a laughingstock atm

    • theblackdog

      I’ll take that he will cancel, with the reason being due to inauguration planning activities.

      I’ll also hedge my bet that he will have it but the press conference will go like this:

      https://youtu.be/41rdU-3fiMA

  • OrdinaryJoe

    “Make America Urinate Again”

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    “Barack Obama’s Legacy MoreSecure than You or the GOP Think” by Jonathan Chait:
    “http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/01/obama-legacy-more-secure-than-you-think.html

    Chait argues that Obama made deep changes, and the GOP won’t be able to erase them easily. Sweet Jesus on a JetSki, I hope he’s right.

    • 11th dimensional chess master

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        He really is a very, very smart man, and a good man. We were lucky to have him.

  • Nounverb911
    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Oh man, KO’s next rant will be EPIC.

    • Apple Scruff

      The pee puns are giving me life.

  • Reality Kills
  • Nounverb911
  • Count Awesome

    I think I know who I.P.Freely REALLY is now.

    • Suse

      That’s what I call my cat, who pees wherever he feels like.

    • OrG

      A Russian hooker?

  • Ilgattomorte

    Oh my God guys. If even half of this is true we may have dodged a bullet. Trump could be impeached in his first couple of months. Wouldn’t that be great? We would be rid of him and then …

    … Oh shit! I hope to God that Mike Pence likes to be shit on by Korean ladyboys and Paul Ryan has a thing for goats.

    • AngryKatie

      I see Ryan as more of the pooping lady boys type.

    • I agree with angrykatie, Ryan has the pooping lady boys, Pence screams creepy molester van at me

      • AngryKatie

        Yaass!
        Pence is TOTALLY a rape van guy.

        • But it’s because he’s trying to SAVE you/the children

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Nah. Wife beater.

          • AngryKatie

            This begs for the why not both gif, but I’m on my phone and don’t want to hunt it down and post it.

    • Kateaux

      We survived 8 years of Ronnie Raygun, 4 years of Bush Sr., 8 years of the Shrub…even though we would probably incur some serious damage under Pence or Ryan, we could survive.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy
  • (Major_Major_Major)ly+Fucked

    WE’RE #1!!! WE’RE #1!!! WE’RE #1!!! WE’RE #1!!!

    • Sedagive

      I don’t say this often, but LOL!

  • Jgb979

    If the only thing in this report is true is that he paid the hackers it’s still capital T Treason…

    Fuck it president mike pence at this point. As awful as that would be it wouldn’t potentially destroy America

    • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

      Nope. This whole “administration” is corrupt to its core. Throw the lot out. Time for a do-over. A mulligan, see?

      I’m giddy. I know I shouldn’t be, but I need this right now.

      • Jgb979

        I would be more giddy if I trusted even one Republican to give a shit about this.

        This has been in circulation behind the scenes for months……

  • Suse
  • Spurning Beer

    Hey CIA: you wanna do some tit-for-tat with Russia to get even for 2016? Circulate video of Trump peeing on Putin in a hotel. That’ll go over really well with the Russian public.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      The folks at Pixar and Lucasfilm could make that happen.

  • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

    If this happened 3 yrs ago when he was 67, can’t think this was the 1st time he enjoyed this kinda *entertainment*.

  • Résistance Land Shark
  • Fuck you disqus! You’re more borked that the Drumpf admin!

    • msanthropesmr

      IMPOSSIBLE

    • Left Coast Tom

      Drumpf “Administration” Libelz!!1!

  • marxalot

    We’re gonna have golden everything, I tell ya, firs class all the way, right down to the tiles! Right down to the showers! Quality! Golden showers! That’s tremendous, tremendous quality!

  • Connor Fitzgerald

    so, what’s up with that New York Times report, with it’s “unsubstantiated” sources and “memos generated by political operatives seeking to derail Mr. Trump’s candidacy?”
    I’m actually asking, I haven’t followed up their sources.
    [https://www.nytimes.com/2017/01/10/us/politics/donald-trump-russia-intelligence.html?_r=0]

    • SnarkON

      What exactly are you asking?

      • Connor Fitzgerald

        Well, I don’t see any direct citations but the CNN thing and a link to reports about the initial briefing that this is an addendum to.
        Both CNN and most of the reporting about the first briefing were less unsure of the provenance of those stories, so why ‘s the Times using that language?
        Pretty straight forward question I thought.

        • SnarkON

          Newspapers tend to have higher standards of proof than broadcast does. They like to have at least two independent confirmations. They’re just more conservative.

    • boyblue123

      NYTimes had no problem running with every Hillary story verified or not

    • AngryKatie

      This is what they’re referring to.
      Because they haven’t independently verified the contents of the memos, the Times has decided they should stick with vague. I mean it’s not like this is about some emails or anything.

      I assume the “attempting to derail” is how they’ve opted to characterize the author trying to warn US intelligence that we were about to elect an honest to god Manchurian candidate.
      https://www.buzzfeed.com/kenbensinger/these-reports-allege-trump-has-deep-ties-to-russia?utm_term=.eo5J3keoe#.kydPJGrNr

    • REALLY, NYT?

      The decision of top intelligence officials to give to give the president, the president-elect and the so-called “Gang of Eight” … what they knew to be unverified, defamatory material was extremely unusual.

      Have you forgotten literally EVERYTHING that was passed around by the intelligence community about Hillary Clinton, already?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        “an arrest is likely by the weekend”

        Remember that unverified, defamatory headline?

      • OrG

        That,folks is “The Liberal Media”.

  • Suse

    I know people were talking about Trump being a Goldwater Republican but this is ridiculous – Evan Davies on Twitter

  • AngryKatie
    • SNOORRRRKKKKK
      George Takei is AMAZING AND I LOVE HIM SO

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      George Takei is a national treasure.

    • Notreelyhelping

      God, he is seriously funny. Seriously.

    • Electric Ukulele Land

      Okay, that’s one for the history books. There will be a footnote that the author was also part of something called “Star Trek”

  • Left Coast Tom

    I understand Trump’s still looking for talent willing to perform for his inauguration. I wonder how much extra the Russian prostitutes would charge for a public performance.

  • BMW
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      or pissed on…

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      or on.

    • Huh. Wonder why.

      And seriously, just because now you’re the one they’re trying to throw into the pond to see if you float, you don’t get to be anti-witch hunt, Donnie.

      And, seriously, this “fake news” crap from the right has got to stop. It doesn’t mean, “Stuff that makes me look bad.” Sheesh.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      He must wish he hadn’t worn that one out already.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      How did he get his tiny little fingers to do all caps?

      • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

        He can just about manage if he’s fully erect.

        • PUAAN Pussy Has Clawz

          so….5mm instead of 3mm?

    • TJ Barke

      Not how a witch hunt works.

  • memzilla Ω
  • SnarkON

    Guessing Melania performed this same trick for him back in Slovenia, during her whore days.

  • Crestdurn

    Watersportsgate.

  • Wild Cat

    Not Godwining:

    Hitler’s niece allegedly killed herself because he insisted they perform gold and brown showers.

    Not suprised the Man with the Face of a Human Fly* married a strumpet named Braun (Brown).

    *When we turned our backs on Sartre, we lost much understanding of how fascists operate.

  • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy
    • (Major_Major_Major)ly+Fucked

      The ice bucket challenge was meant to be somewhat cooler than 98.6℉

      • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

        Speaking of the photo, I don’t seem to see any ice in that water. Always a cheater, isn’t he?

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Hey Donnie, that’s not what the Golden Rule is!

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly+Fucked

      Do unto others as you would pay 500 rubles to do unto you, amitie?

  • Bitter Scribe

    Sen. Ron Wyden (D., Ore.) pressed Mr. Comey on whether, as part of the hacking probe, the FBI has investigated whether any individuals close to the Trump campaign have links to Russia. Mr. Comey refused to answer, saying he wouldn’t comment publicly on an investigation.

    Unless it’s about Hillary Clinton.

    Fuck James Comey with a rusty chainsaw, and I don’t mean with votes.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Unless it will swing the election to a certified sociopath. What a patriot.

    • AngryKatie

      Russian puppet…vagina…
      Russian puppet…vagina…

      Schedule a press conference! I heard Huma had a laptop and I must let America know about this potential email vector immediately.

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend
    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      The color is a little unfortunate. Just saying.

  • memzilla Ω

    #PEEOTUS

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Onion ninjas!

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly+Fucked

      Or in Donny’s case, asparagus ninjas

  • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

    Twitter is an actual gold-mine of snark just now.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      *goldenshower-mine

      fixed

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      You said “gold” heh heh heh.

    • right? it’s been making me snort all night.

    • Apple Scruff

      The entire thread under this comment is killing me. I haven’t found a single supporter weighing in. They done gone scattered, like the cockroaches they are.

      https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/818990655418617856

  • The pee stuff is hilarious and will be what drives the tangerine shitgibbon mad, but it’s the Russian ties that are gonna bring the entire West Wing crashing down

  • Mavenmaven

    Trump responds: The Russian intel is just a lot of pish posh.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      It’s just yellow journalism!…

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Putin to Trump: Ur in too deep to back out now.

    • ButtercuptheHarelessRabbit

      You mean piss posh, right?

      • Mavenmaven

        Where I come from they both mean the same thing (like in German) :)

  • Juan de Fuca

    I’ve been to Prague? Say’s who? You people tell me where it says I’ve Prague on the cover of this passport?

    https://twitter.com/MichaelCohen212/status/818991277685567489

    • Honey, that picture proves about what your integrity is worth- fucking nothing

      • Juan de Fuca

        That or he probably thinks that many Trump supporters don’t know how travel works overseas.

        https://www.tripadvisor.com/Travel-g274684-s602/Czech-Republic:Crossing.The.Border.html

        Can’t vouch for how the Czech Republic works but have travelled to different countries via Germany and didn’t need a passport. Then again, I always travelled with a military ID which kinda served as a passport for different places. Had to get a passport to fly into Germany and Australia. Once there, I drove to Belgium and Austria without ever having to show my passport.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Yeah, well, the Schengen Zone includes the Czech Republic, so a passport stamp for any of a large number of European countries includes the possibility of Prague.

      • I have been all over Europe. But, my passport was only stamped at my point of entry at Heathrow. Teenage me was SUPER PISSED about this. NO, DON’T FUCKING WAVE ME THROUGH THE BORDER! STAMP MY FUCKING PASSPORT, YOU LAZY SOCIALIST FUCK!

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Hell, even in Havana, they don’t stamp your passport.

          • YOU’VE BEEN TO HAVANA?!?! COMMIE PINKO SLIME!

            …Uh, can I bum a cigar and maybe some rum?

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Twice. Completely legally, too.
            Brought rum home legally from Canada, too. Thanks, Obama!

          • Left Coast Tom

            On the insane side…I actually have a passport stamp from Ely, Minnesota. You can canoe from the US side over to Canada and back, and I did for 7 days, but when you return to the US you’re supposed to report your entry. Which I did, and my passport shows I visited Ely, MN.

        • Left Coast Tom

          About 15 years ago I bought a pair of Salomon X-Scream skis on sale in Chamonix, France, then was crossing to Switzerland. The rules for VAT refund are that the form needs to be stamped at the point of exit from the EU, which in this case was on a train crossing over to Switzerland.

          There was, literally, nobody, at the train station to do border services, I had to jog 3/4 mile to the road crossing to find anyone to stamp my form, then back to catch my connecting Swiss train before it left.

    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      yeah, maybe the entrance/exit stamps INSIDE that passport would be more informative.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Too bad for you, asshole. Don’t despoil it by setting foot in it.

  • Vecchiojohn

    Not all that Twitters is gold.

    • Résistance Land Shark

      And he bought a stairway to Heaven …..

  • What time does Sam Bee tape?

  • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

    I knew there was going to be some really monumental disgrace before he was even “inaugurated”. I just new it.

  • Me The People
  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Came back from the other thread – time for some yellow journalism….

  • Mavenmaven

    Every time the new White House announces a press conference on “live stream” the country will break out into hysterical laughter.

  • BigBoppa pour la résistance

    Just finished watching Bamz’ speech. I can’t believe we’re losing him for a traitorous piss enthusiast.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Traitorous Piss Enthusiast is my new Euro/Synthpop band.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Sounds like a Mark E. Smith lyric

  • OrdinaryJoe

    You can be damn sure that every intelligence agency of every western industrial power has closed their access to Washington.

    • Résistance Land Shark

      They changed the locks after they stopped laughing. Well, stopped laughing for the moment anyway ….

  • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

    Bamz wraps up byebye message. We can also say byebye to grace and articulate public speaking for a while.

    • Pisto75666

      TBH we said goodbye to that the minute Drumpf decided to run for president.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Guys, don’t be distracted by this nonsense. Keep your eyes fixed straight ahead on the real news. I don’t want to see you looking sideways.

    • theblackdog

      The real news is that he’s likely compromised by Russia because they’ve got audio, if not video as well, and there’s a good chance they’re blackmailing him.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        We knew that, though. I mean, strongly suspected it. But the piss thing, I did not see that one coming.

    • TJ Barke

      Oh we know. But wonkette is largely about the funny, and this is the funny aspect…

      • BreakingDeadMen

        I can see you’re enthusiastic, but try to hold it in as long as you can.

        • TJ Barke

          Oh, I see, you were making a no eye contact at the urinals joke.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    But, I gotta say, fuck Julian Assange–THIS is a leak.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    ♫ In my Moscow hotel room
    I was pissing in her face.
    Pissing golden ribbons,
    In her face.

    This was private, so I thought,
    But it was not.
    So golden ribbons,
    I am caught.

    You might find my acts disgraceful,
    But I gave her quite a faceful.
    Thanks to Putin, golden facials,
    Golden ribbons in her face.

    Through the night my balls were aching
    And just before the dawn was breaking
    I peed in and on her bed
    In tiny-finger piddle lying there
    Lovely golden ribbons, golden ribbons,
    On her her face. ♫

  • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

    So apparently, wikileaks is weighing in:

    “WikiLeaks responded to the release of the report in a tweet that read, “35 page PDF published by Buzzfeed on Trump is not an intelligence report. Style, facts & dates show no credibility.””

    • Truthiness2U

      Bwhahahaha.

      Yeah, fuck them.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      They were out leaked. SO they are raining on the parade.

    • boyblue123

      Im surprised a Russian mouthpiece would deny ties to Drumpf. Totally shocked

    • janecita

      Well, that does it for me! After all Julian Assange’s mouthpiece, is nothing if not truthful!
      Fuck Wikileaks

    • Come out here and say that to my face widdle Julian!

    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

      They may now be known as Wikiwhiz.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      so sorry, Julian. Looks like you’re gonna be stuck at the Ecuadorian Embassy a little linger than you thought

      • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

        What a sorry piece of shit he is. I mean, really.

      • AngryKatie

        Maybe not. Rumors are that Ecuador is getting sick of their houseguest.

        Maybe Pootie will put him up, Snowden might like a roommate.

    • miss_grundy

      Putin probably has some chick giving Assange a golden shower as well and she is probably under-age.

    • TJ Barke

      How convenient for the man you installed…

    • Cock Blockula

      Gives the name, WikiLeaks, a whole new meaning…

  • Me The People

    If this is true, Putin could be sitting on video of this shit, maybe even worse, with the threat of a leak hanging over Trump’s head. That would be true ownage.

    • Shoto

      Add that to the (probable) shit-tonne of cash he owes to Russian kleptocrats, and Imma suggest that Putin had Drumpf by the short hairs.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Can we believe the story?

    Depends.

    • cheetojeebus

      I wonder who leaked it?

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Yellow journalist most likely.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      The story will just dribble out and pe forgotten.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        IDK, I expect there will be a stead stream of fresh revelations

    • miss_grundy

      Always with Poise

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Pissyleaks.

    • Résistance Land Shark

      Pissy Riot.

  • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy
  • Michael Smith

    Man the farewell address is over and trump didn’t get to give his pee note speech

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    I see things are flowing smoothly over here.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      a steady stream of good news

  • John Mruzik
    • John Mruzik

      my honey bunny will miss them.

  • What if this is part of the Republican plan to get rid of the wild card and get their safe boy in?

    • Count Awesome

      The safe boy will want to go by Ence now.

    • Incoming (AKA Large) Ham

      I think if trump goes the whole lot will have to go. They are all compromised in some way. It’s going to be really hard to wash the stink off.

    • AngryKatie

      Assuming the allegations are true, the lot of them come out of this with Russian hooker pee all over them. There’s no way any Republican that publicly backed him through this walks away clean. Especially when you factor in the meeting with GOP leadership before the election, when they ordered the intel kept secret until after November.

      Lame duck administration from day 1, and batshit crazy 2018 election.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    L, M, N, Oh, Pee.

  • Beulah

    That’s too bad. The rugs really tied the room together.

  • Raan

    *cracks knuckles*
    “Are these indiscretions romantic, financial, or treasonous?”
    “Russian hooker, you tell me.”

  • baconzgood

    I hope I’m not the only one who caught
    handsome Joe “pistol wink” at Bamz. Because Joe owes me a nickel for using Baconz signature move.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      We’re talking about piss here. It’s a national emergency.

      • Résistance Land Shark

        No wonder all those RWNJ states are passing bathroom laws …..

    • swoons…

    • leemoder

      Ol’ Handsome Joe:”P-choo! P-choo! Gotcha…”

      apologies to Family Guy’s Star Wars episodes.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I saw and noted it in the speechifying thread. Damn, but I love Crazy Uncle Joe. Like in a borderline, serial stalker way.

  • chascates

    So, is this good for the Chinese? Cause I’m still pretty depressed.

    • The Chinese enjoy a good golden shower as much as anyone else.

  • Spurning Beer

    There’s no proof those were Russian prostitutes. They could have been Chinese, it could have been a 400 pound guy sitting on a bed in the Ritz Carlton. Peeing.

    • Left Coast Tom

      …on The Donald.

    • Hey, the CIA got the whole mass Cheney peeing thing wrong during the Bush administration.

  • GemlikeFlame

    OK, we need to start a pool. How long before this house of cards collapses? The ant-Russia hardliners are gone, the folks worried about health insurance are at least teetering, and if this has any legs at all the religious right just copped a hard change in attitude. If Melania isn’t already considering a divorce action, she should be. There are financial and ethics conflicts from here to and including Moscow.

    The beltway Republican establishment has been sharpening knives for a long time and they wouldn’t hesitate to dispose of him. Trump’s cabinet ranges from overtly racist to laughably incompetent. The only thing keeping him afloat is a rapidly dwindling constituency.

    I got $5 on six weeks.

    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      eh, his supporters are anti-evidence, believe all major media outlets are liars.
      He’s only coming in with 37% support, so, I’d bet that’ll hold steady. Sadly.

    • TJ Barke

      Melania’s almost certainly a FSB asset.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      You think he’ll be inaugurated?

      • GemlikeFlame

        Don’t know. Even if the legislature were so inclined (and they’re still giggling like schoolgirls over their majorities) an action would require that he actually take office before being impeached. There’s the little matter of physical death, but that seems unlikely. After taking office there are a broad range of existing potential offenses, but I think it likely that the establishment has found some way of installing him as a figurehead, with the non-family cabinet members and Republican congressional leaders doing the policy-making. This is indicated by the sudden reversal of many of the campaign promises and foretells the probable lack of confirmation for the less pliable cabinet picks.

        Frankly, I’m pretty sure that Trump doesn’t want the responsibility and won’t shoulder the work to make any decision that insulting the competition on Twitter doesn’t involve. I think we’ve been misdirected, we’re spending outrage on Trump the buffoon when we really ought to be worried about who’s pulling his strings.

    • Yr. Gma

      Not soon enough.

    • Résistance Land Shark

      The Republican establishment doesn’t have to lift a finger. Trump’s whole campaign and staff is doing just fine imploding on their own.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Trumps team is now flush with success.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    hey Evangelical Trump voters, how’s that family values thingy working out for ya?

    • Markuserektus

      They’re looking the other way in hopes that Donnie Moscow will do away with abortion, same sex marriage and other undesirable things.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I’m going to make those hypocritical motherfuckers OWN this

  • Vecchiojohn

    We are all peons to Trump.

  • TJ Barke
  • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

    Wow, hadn’t heard this – via daily kos:
    “The Guardian has learned that the FBI applied for a warrant from the foreign intelligence surveillance (Fisa) court over the summer in order to monitor four members of the Trump team suspected of irregular contacts with Russian officials.

    The FISA Court has a record of approving 99% of applications. But this time, the FBI was turned away.

    The Fisa court turned down the application asking FBI counter-intelligence investigators to narrow its focus. According to one report, the FBI was finally granted a warrant in October, but that has not been confirmed, and it is not clear whether any warrant led to a full investigation.”

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Ezra Klein on Facebook – “If the report is true, it’s a scandal unlike anything we’ve seen in American history. If it is false, it is an insane slander of the president-elect and it will launch a new level of war between him and the nation’s intelligence services.”

    • Count Awesome

      Sooner or later the intelligence agencies will catch him with his pants down.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Might as well. Everyone else has…

      • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

        I think we can be pretty certain Russia’s already has.

    • Tio_Doidinho

      To quote “the Wire” – if you shoot at the King, you’d fucking better not miss.

      Something tells me the CIA doesn’t intend to miss.

  • Markuserektus

    Micturition fiction…

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Kremlin spokesman, Dmitry Peskov, issued the following statement:

    “Russia has not gathered compromising information on Mr Trump involving sex acts with underage prostitutes. Also, we are not using this information to blackmail him”.

    • o’look Skwerl!

      Well that settles it. Did he ever find out who those men were that invaded the Crimea?

    • Yr. Gma

      How about over age prostitutes?

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        Granny bloomers and peeing?

  • Count Awesome

    At this point Trump is only full of vinegar.

  • Poly_Ester

    Seppeku instead of the Oath of Office. Sounds about right.

    • Count Awesome

      Se-pee-ku.
      FTFY

    • TJ Barke

      I don’t think his tiny hands can grip the tanto knife…

  • (Major_Major_Major)ly+Fucked

    Stay golden, Pony Donny Boy.

  • BMW
  • Cock Blockula

    Press: Mr. Trump, what do you want to call your presidency?
    Trump: “The Aristocrats”

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      I thought of that a week ago. Seriously.

  • boyblue123

    Love the bromance between Obama and Biden. Not going to see anything like it in American politics for a while

    https://twitter.com/ABC/status/819014651904081920

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Something in my eye….

      • cmd resistor

        Yeah, I got something in my eye when Malia started crying. Then just continued through Joe and the rest of the speech.

  • Edith Prickly

    Holy piss-storm, someone on my Faceplace linked to the Dan Savage piece on this. The Trumpenproletariat won’t care, but I’m waiting for Glenn Greenwald to tell me that Hillary is still worse.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      Pissphobe imperialism!

    • leemoder

      What’s the over/under on “pernicious” being used by GG?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Nothing one could do, in Greenwald’s mind, to be worse than Hillary. Trump could pee on a hooker on 5th Avenue at rush hour…

    • ltmcdies

      Greenwald’s already on air whining. I guess if it doesn’t come from Wikileaks it didn’t happen

      • Edith Prickly

        Jesus, why don’t he and Julian move in together? Oh right, Brave Sir Julian won’t leave the Ecuadorian embassy because the police are waiting for him outside. Keep running your piss flaps Glenn.

  • Markuserektus
    • CogitoErgoBibo

      As they say: Trust, but verify. But it would explain a lot if Russia were blackmailing The Orange One with this information.

  • EmmaChuur

    I sofa king love the illustrative photo .

  • xy

    Don could come out tomorrow and have Paul Ryan piss on him and the right wing nutters would still deny that it happened.

    • PussyGrabbinRussianPatsy

      Gaslighter in chief

    • Scrofula

      “What, you didn’t do that in YOUR locker rooms?”

  • ButtercuptheHarelessRabbit

    And now we know why the shit weasels are pushing through Trump’s cabinet nominations in such a big fat hurry. They knew the shit was going to hit the fan soon.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      Also the piss. Maybe some shit, also. In 3, 2, 1 . . .

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    And we’re STILL not going to redo this election? The country is doomed.

  • natoslug

    Has Todd Starnes weighed in on this issue yet? He’s the gold standard for piss reports.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      I’ve been saying this for years, I cannot wait until his scandal drops. It’s going to be sordid, sordid, sordid.

    • Résistance Land Shark

      I await the verdict from Vitter also too.

  • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

    Y’all were curious what KaC would say:

    https://www.facebook.com/LateNightSeth/videos/798255053658509/

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Um no, not especially.

      • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

        okay, other people beside our french cousin It. (what is cousin in french, anyway? In spanish, it’s primo/a. You can also use it the way some folks use “brother”…people close to you are your primo/a).

        • Suse

          le cousin – male; la cousine – female

          • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

            is it pronounced like cuisine? (Seriously, french makes ZERO sense to me, and htat’s not even mentioning all the accents. In spanish, they only go one direction and I still can’t remember where they go).

        • She is predictable as fuck. We know what she is going to say.

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          I prefer French and as an allusion to WWII and the French Resistance. One of my favorite places in the whole world is an artist colony north of Carcassonne http://lamuseretreat.com

    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      she says “it’s not fair, and it’s not true”.

      Neither was benghazi, emailgate, the birther lies, obama’s a muslim/terrorist, you fucking muther—-

      ahem.

    • Look it the tap dancing!

      • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

        Gives gene kelly a run for his money, no? (BTW, has your club watched singing the rain recently? I may have mentioned how much I hate musicals, but that’s a seriously fun movie. And gene and dan are brilliant).

        • Vienna Woods

          Hey, don’t forget Debbie!

          • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

            Heh, I knew, KNEW i was going to get called on that. Im’ a bit drunk and actually forgot her name.
            I’m terrible.

          • You are! But we love you anyways.

        • Not recently, but we have a rule that if something has been watched at any previous movie day, we can’t watch it again (aside from the big anniversary movie days that have special rules-really, Roberts’ Rules of Order is less convoluted than Movie Day rules)

    • Vincent Ricola

      Seth Meyers asked better follow up questions than 85% of our teevee newscasters.

      • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

        I like how the brits refer to them as readers or presenters…waaaaayyyyyy more accurate.

    • Résistance Land Shark

      KaC is now wondering if she had been actually paid, that it was definitely not enough. Sugar, you hitched your reputation and career path to this imbecile, and now you’re stuck with it.

      OT: Mrs Land Shark says, “I don’t think the Queen will be inviting the orange one to any of HER palaces anytime soon.”

      • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

        you gotta feel bad for her (no you don’t) – she expects to play happy fun time on late night tv and this news breaks…hahahahahahwwaahaha.

        • To be fair, she was only going on that show to spin the LAST scandal.

          • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

            I know, but doesn’t it suck when you prep for one thing and get the rug pulled out from underneath (in KaC’s case, it’s hilarious).

    • Spurning Beer

      “No, Seth, that’s ridiculous. President-elect Trump did not drink the urine of Russian prostitutes in the Presidential Suite of the Moscow Ritz Carlton. In fact, there is no evidence he has drunk prostitute urine anywhere.”

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      It may have originated with a Russian investigator

      Well, said investigator would be in a position to know, right?

  • Markuserektus
  • Ωbjectifier

    This story has really opened the floodgates. How long have you guys been holding in all these pee jokes? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a641b60aa2cee89f66540e9f6a4279c827ed0de23199fbfed25959c653030251.jpg

    • Amy!

      We usually try to preserve our precious bodily fluids. It’s American.

      • Ωbjectifier

        I do not avoid women. But I do deny them my essence.

    • ahughes798

      My back teeth were floating, as dear old ma used to say.

    • Tio_Doidinho

      Can’t tell you. I think that urine for a long wait.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    I think this is the play: “I was afraid that there might be a transgender in the restroom ready to pounce on the young ladies–ladies, by the way, who were totally not prostitutes, they were good friends of mine–so I decided to be a gentleman and offered my suite.”

  • Me The People

    The Stupidest Man On The Internet sure has the Stupidest Commenters On The Internet. Here’s three of them:

    “If Dylan Roof did this on his own accord, good. If Dylan Roof did this
    as a psyop controlled by Obama’s CIA, bad. I’m still skeptical this was
    done on his own accord. I believe this was done as a psyop for gun
    control.”

    “I understand the skeptics. For one, his good friend was black. In the
    photos posted of him in various settings his expressions were not mean
    but were blank and joyless, it looked as if he was forced to pose in
    settings meant to depict his world view. The pictures looked contrived
    or staged and he was always alone, so who took the photos? they never
    revealed who snapped the pro-looking photos. He looked hypnotized or
    maybe drugged. Whatever it be, the whole thing is awful – lives wasted
    for nothing.”

    “Roof is a stone cold killer and needs to die at the hands of his fellow
    South Carolinians. The problem here, is that he has been sentenced to
    death for a thought crime by the Feds. This has essentially taken
    authority from the citizens of South Carolina and given it over to the
    Federal government.”

    • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

      “The problem here, is that he has been sentenced to death for a thought crime by the Feds.”

      NO NO NO NO. It was an actual crime, it fact is was murder, it fact it was 9 (?) murders.

      Please tell me you’re trying to “poe” us.

      • janecita

        He is just posting what those three crazy commenters said.

    • Count Awesome

      It’s not a psy-op but a secret cabal of the Loch Ness Monster, Elvis, and the first chimp sent into space.

      • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

        everybody but the actual shooter…and they say they’re the party of personal responsibility and the left is always looking for excuses for behavior.

        Fuckers.

        • Count Awesome

          The conspiracies/fan-fiction not only suits their world view but entertains too, also.

    • Wait wait wait…
      He is a stone cold killer and needs to die…
      but his crime was a thought crime?
      WHAT?

      • Scrofula

        He deserved to die . . . but not by the FEDS for THOUGHTS, duh.

        • Ah. Ok then.
          Jesus fuck, I hope these are the same sort of people who dodge Jury duty.
          Because they ain’t no one’s fucking peers.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      The chemtrails made him do it.

    • ahughes798

      What the fuh……?

    • janecita

      Dear Lord, we are fucked!

    • aktlib101

      The Truth has been exposed: it’s the World Government of the United Nations that controlled his thoughts.

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

      Funny how all these gun-control psyops seem to always result in people who already have guns going out and buying more guns.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Yes, obviously it was done as a psy-op for gun control because look at how no one has any guns anymore.

  • leemoder

    Looking forward to the first question at tomorrow’s presser from reporter I. P. Freeley.

    • OneYieldRegular

      I’ll bet the entire press pool is up half the night drinking and laughing uproariously about how the questions are going to be phrased, and daring one another.

      • Rags

        Press pool…. heh heh heh

  • Left Coast Tom

    The inauguration has to include Frank Zappa’s Don’t Eat the Yellow Snow.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQDp2425WQ0

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Russia: where the huskies go

    • Fun with Cthulhu

      We’re calling it The Urination.

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend
  • Make some sense when we remember Trump’s hair-colouring is
    Just For Men #69 Hot Piss

  • Master Contrail Program

    It appears some of the media are finally taking the piss out of Drumpf.

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    If this stuff is true, it’s extraordinary. If it’s not true, Trump’s in for a looooong ride with the CIA.

    McCain seems to have something to do with the story too.

  • This can’t be true. Why would Trump need to pay people to humiliate themselves in front of him when Chris Christie would do it for free?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Sometimes, you just want to humiliate a broad. Amiright?

      • Roni Resistance Raven

        Well, Chris Christie IS broad.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Kremlin spokesman, Dmitry Peskov, issued the following statement:

    “The Kremlin did not coordinate operations with His Excellency Trump’s campaign. All of our communications were about the weather, hair products, and kittens”.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Well, long journey tomorrow….before I go, a little Shakespeare as befits this solemn moment: All that glitters is not gold….

    • ltmcdies

      hee hee

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      Some of it is piss.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      I’ll one-up you with Shakespeare set to music!

      https://youtu.be/bXId5jOTxdg

    • Left Coast Tom

      There’s the J.R.R. Tolkein variant: “All that is gold does not glitter”

  • Me The People

    Are you going to central Moscow?
    You should prepare for showers in your hair

  • FDRliberal
  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Well, my day is totally in the toilet…

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      Naw Ur in luck…..

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Be sure to bring those urinal cakes we like.

  • Apple Scruff

    This song is just sticking in my head tonight for some reason.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64mb_hUOb4g

  • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

    PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Why are you so pissed off?

    • Scrofula

      And a little POO POO a little PEE PEE
      Girl I wanna piss on you.

  • So,does this mean the Russians also told Trump about how they used Cruz’s dad to kill JFK to make sure he got the nomination?

  • Nounverb911

    OTish

    Plagiarism Queen Monica Crowley’s book pulled, PHD Next?

    https://twitter.com/NYDailyNews/status/819017262271176704

    • She was the Dick Morris of this election cycle for FOX News. Whatever she said, you knew the opposite was true.

  • Michael R

    ” And I also know things that other people don’t know ” Donald Trump

    Not any more

    https://s27.postimg.org/t7i4hn1lf/katya.gif

  • Shoto

    CNN seems to be spending some time on this story. Further, Carl Bernstein is doing on-air commentary, which brings a bit more juice.

    It’s going to be some kind of hoot to watch the Drumpf presser tomorrow. According to the gimmicky, on-screen countdown timer on CNN, the event goes off at 11AM, EST.

    Comedy you can believe in.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Bold going-out-on-a-limb prediction: No presser.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    While I don’t like the idea of a CIA-led coup in the US, I prefer it to a Russian-backed coup.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      This is all Republican sponsored. McCain and Republican opposition research.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Oh, I saw where the oppo research originated, but it was just a rumor/non-story (outside Mother Jones) until Trump got crossways with the intel agencies.

        • DoILookAmused2u ?

          McCain et al have been pushing it for weeks now. Funny how that happens.

          • Edith Prickly

            LOLOLOLOLOL. McCain has a long memory and a vindictive streak too and doesn’t have to run for re-election. This is going to be good.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            Not good to piss of a person who has a short fuse and a long memory.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Devil you know…

    • boyblue123

      There was an FBI-led coup a week before the election? This seems like the new norm

  • ServantToTheStars

    They already have a “Make American Number 1 Again” hat. Awesome.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      hopefully ‘Make America Golden Again’ is next

    • TJ Barke

      FSM bless the internet.

  • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

    apparently BBC is drinking the koolaid:

    onald Trump has decried as a “political witch hunt” US media reports that Russian intelligence agencies have obtained personally compromising material related to him.

    Unsubstantiated allegations say Russia has embarrassing information about him.

    Without referring to the stories, the president-elect tweeted: “FAKE NEWS – A TOTAL POLITICAL WITCH HUNT!”

    Mr Trump is due to hold a news conference on Wednesday, nine days before he takes office.

    The US intelligence agencies have presented that information to the president-elect and his predecessor at the White House, President Barack Obama.

    But there has been nothing said publicly by the US intelligence community to support these claims.

    Can US election hack be traced to Russia?

    In recent weeks, Mr Trump has been under pressure to concur with the findings of US spy agencies who say Russia was behind the hacking of Democratic Party emails during the presidential campaign.

    They say the order came from the Kremlin to sway the election for Mr Trump and away from his Democratic opponent, Hillary Clinton.

    But so far he has failed to explicitly agree with the conclusions of the intelligence services.

    And he has condemned those who oppose good relations with Russia as “fools”.

    Russia has denied any involvement in the hacks and accused the US of conducting a witch hunt.

    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-38579126

    • lol do not think so.

      They open the piece by saying Donald says it is a witch hunt
      Then they make sure to remind everyone how the Kremlim used the same. Exact. Phrasing.
      This be BBC trolling of high degree XD

      • You never see BBC trolling coming until the gauntlet knocks you unconcious

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        After the referendum do you really think their readership will get it?

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Winston Churchill liked Hitler and avoided war with him for as long as possible.

      • Vienna Woods

        No, he didn’t. And he wasn’t Prime Minister when war was declared, He spent the years after Hitler’s election warning Britain what was coming. They were known as his years in the wilderness because no one else would listen to him. As early as 1933 he said of Nazi Germany that “the philosophy of blood lust is being inculcated into their youth in a manner unparalleled since the days of barbarism.” In 1938 he was furious when Chamberlain signed the Munich Accord, saying , “do not suppose that this is the end. This is only of beginning of the reckoning. This is only the first sip, the first foretaste of a bitter cup.”

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          My bad, I think I got him confused with someone else. One of the world leaders was a Hitler apologist and a eugenicist for several years right before the start of the war. I thought it was Winston Churchill because he did some really questionable things in office. Now I’m wondering who it was.

          • Vienna Woods

            Yeah, I’m not sure who you’d be talking about there. Although Canadian PM Mackenzie King, who was a certified wacko, did meet Hitler in 1937 and waxed rhapsodic about his eyes:

            His skin was smooth; his face did not present lines of fatigue or wariness; his eyes impressed me most of all. There was a liquid quality about them which indicate keen perception and profound sympathy.

            https://www.junobeach.org/canada-in-wwii/articles/aggression-and-impunity/w-l-mackenzie-kings-diary-june-29-1937/

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            I think I conflated the Canadian PM, Theodore Roosevelt, and Winston Churchill (both supported eugenics) which is actually really impressive since I’m usually really good with remembering facts. But also before the war he apparently praised him a little too much and it has affected his reputation ever since.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Orange is the new golden

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    I guess Trumpy learned why you shouldnt badmouth your intellgence agencies

    • Pisto75666

      If he hasn’t, he’s about to.

  • Nounverb911
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Holy shit. He has the tapes!

    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

      When Kim Jong Un is ROFLHAO at you, you know you’re fucked.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      Being humiliated by the DPRK News Service is bad. I mean, really, really bad.

  • Nounverb911
  • Count Awesome

    Donald Trump first executive order will be to remove the letter P from the alphabet.

  • Duke

    It’s morning again in America

    • Left Coast Tom

      ….or morning wood…something like that.

    • Amy!

      It’s been mourning in America since 9 November last year.

  • Résistance Land Shark

    If the US had any credibility or world standing after electing this orange haired, assmouthed shitgibbon, it is now gone. Completely. And Ryan? Kiss that “mandate” shit goodbye … you have lost it all.

    Donald Trump has decried as a “political witch hunt” US media reports that Russian intelligence agencies have obtained personally compromising material related to him.
    Unsubstantiated allegations say Russia has embarrassing information about him.

    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-38579126

    • Blacktop Autumn

      I mean, it’s almost like electing a giant narcissistic asshole with a tendency to name call and self-promote was a bad idea.

      This speaks very ill-fucking-will of the people around me in the Midwest.

      • Pisto75666

        “But we can’t vote for Hilary because geez, I just don’t LIKE her!”

        JFC, I’m disgusted.

      • Résistance Land Shark

        Good people in many states, who relied on TV news as their sole source of facts, have been led very far astray. They won’t admin it, and I wouldn’t either. But I also wouldn’t trust a single thing that the orange goon says from this point forward. No one likes to admit they’ve been duped, and that’s OK. As long as they won’t get fooled again.

  • Blanche Beecham

    So he likes watching women humiliate each other. I would have never guessed

    • Tio_Doidinho

      Shocking!!

    • Droogs

      I wouldn’t be surprised if they were underage prostitutes.

  • Jennifer R
    • Shoto

      Takei is really good at administering the Burn.

  • ltmcdies
  • OrG

    Can we start calling it a pisser instead of a presser?

    • Me The People

      I’m sure everyone is already calling it ‘the piss conference’. That’s how it will be remembered.

  • Jennifer R

    Make 10 burritos, save most of them for the week. A good afternoon teamwork.

  • BadKitty904
    • Electric Ukulele Land

      This image will get a lot of mileage for however long it takes us to wash the stain of Trump from civilization

      • BadKitty904

        It can’t be used often enough or widely enough to remind us all of what the Republican Party and its Russian allies have done to America.

  • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

    Guess, who’s teh only people NOT talking about this news (and make jokes):

    “But I have yet to see anything on Fox News about this tonight. Do you think there would have been any delay had any such report come out about Hillary Clinton, much less Barack Obama?

    By the way, I’m sure Fox will get around to discussing this eventually, maybe even tonight. But when they do, they will probably have talking points from the Trump team to make their own.”

    Read more at http://www.newshounds.us/is_fox_trying_to_stonewall_the_bombshell_that_russia_reportedly_had_blackmail_material_on_trump_011017#2Uo8ycbI7CGzvKss.99

    • BadKitty904

      They’re busy trying to figure out how to deny it.

  • Manhattan123

    Urine trouble, Donnie.

    • phoenix00

      Aww poopie!

  • So, now that the Benghazi committee is finished, I assume that the Republicans will now reopen it and investigate Trump’s selling us all out to the Russians.

    • TJ Barke

      AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    • Courser

      I’m laughing but only to keep from crying. Yeah, the Rethugs are too anxious to shove through their rape-and-pillage agenda to give a crap.

  • Slinger

    Another case of yellow journalism.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      Ba dum piss!

  • Count Awesome

    The vice presidency is “not worth a bucket of warm piss” and “the worst damn fool mistake I ever made.”- John Nance Garner, the 32nd vice president
    “The hooker pissed a bucket of piss and I liked it” – Trump

  • BadKitty904

    Yes? And?” ~ “Sen.” David Vitter (R)

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Can’t wait to see how the fundies are going to square this one.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Piss? Christ!

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      Shit. Oh . . .

    • Hellhathnofury Demme

      Rudy?

  • Apple Scruff

    So, are we taking bets as to whether this “press conference” is happening tomorrow?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9baee024eb9a75091365ede607e99e14ff04158a59c07f38a0c56e9de81d5667.gif

  • Reality Kills

    I give 6 to 9 months for Donald’s supporters to start feeling fooled.

    • OrG

      You are an optimist.

    • Left Coast Tom

      You have a lot of confidence in them.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      I was kind of half hoping Republicans would repeal Obamacare, and then get tarred and feathered, and replaced by Democrats who would restore it.

    • ltmcdies

      they should get 6 to 9 for sticking you guys with the Great Orange One

  • So, how many hookers did the Russians throw at Rex Tillerman? and will he get more when he is Secretary of State?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      AOT,K

    • Spurning Beer

      The covert video of Tillerman mostly shows exploratory drilling, according to confidential sources.

  • Blacktop Autumn

    Guys, guys, guys.

    This is nothing. We should be talking about the distress of white, working class voters. THIS IS IMPORTANT, IT’S WHITE PEOPLE!

    …. He watched girls pee on one another. *giggle*

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Yeah, I mean whatever yanks yer crank. But did you honestly think Russia, of all places, was the best place to get your freak on? You probably could go down to the Bronx and get the same thing without the potential blackmail.

      • Blacktop Autumn

        Well, Obama did make funsies of him at that state dinner,so why not do it in the bed he thinks they mighta had sex in, right?

        That’s the American way!

    • Jennifer R

      It’s a pretty popular search hit really.

  • Reality Kills

    If Donald is so much for the uneducated and rednecks, why didn’t he offer a position on his cabinet to one of those people?

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      He doesn’t want dirty people around. Oh, wait . . .

  • Zippy W Pinhead
  • IOnlyLikeCats

    Future Mr. Cats just declared a ban on us living the United States (because a real democracy would jail Donald Trump, investigate his accomplices, and rehold the election).

    • Courser

      Exactly. This should not happen. This cannot fucking happen. But it will.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Sorry for the typo. It should say “piss ON”, obviously.
    https://i.imgflip.com/vlfqz.jpg

  • BadKitty904

    I’ll be interested to hear Malaria and his spawns’ comments on this. And watching Kellyanne the Con spin this should be classic.

    • data_ninja

      Spin it? She’s gonna gargle it.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      KC is already spinning!

    • Meh. KaCa is predictable as fuck. This is mean! Fake news! MEAANNNIESSS

    • Vienna Woods

      I’m looking forward to seeing her on Seth Myers tonight.

    • FlemmishSpy

      Kellyanne will have to to way beyond turd polishing.

      • BadKitty904

        I’ll be curious to see how she blames this on the Dems.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Deny, deny, do not signify with a response.

  • lucidamente

    2 girls, 1 term.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      2 girls, ¼ term.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
  • Msgr_MΩment

    You don’t suppose he’s had Ivanka piss on him, do you?
    Wait a second. I’m just reading that now on the internets.

    • Count Awesome

      “If I were younger I’d be having Ivanka piss on me.”
      “In a decade that girl will be pissing on me.”

  • OrG

    Disqus is getting hosed tonight.

    • Count Awesome

      Its like disqus is pissed.

      • Résistance Land Shark

        Pissed off or pissed on? Enquiring minds want to know.

      • OrG

        In the English or American way?Why not both!?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Every single time, I get a message saying that it is slower than usual and do I want to reload?

      Hahahaha.

      It always slows at the speed of molasses.

  • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

    I”m watching old episodes of MST3K – I had forgotten there was a 1-800 Collect commercial featuring OJ Simpson’s (ostensible) mom.
    Those were weird days.

    • Scrofula

      Foreshadowing: “This is a collect call from an inmate at . . . “

    • Serai 1

      I hear the series is going to be rebooted.

      • TX Dept. of Brad Relations

        There was a fundraiser going on about that…I watched the very last bit of the marathon that SHout factory streamed on tv – Joeil is grey with glasses now…then again so am I.

      • Vienna Woods
      • theblackdog

        It is, thanks to the Kickstarter. Joel is producing it and they’ve been working on the episodes, which will be on Netflix

        • Serai 1

          So are they going to be doing old, cheesy movies again?

          • theblackdog

            Definitely! We don’t know what movies and shorts they will hit up yet but I hope they found some really good cheese.

          • Serai 1

            I’ve been enjoying their Rifftrax, myself. They actually made the Matrix sequels watchable. (In fact, they made them COMEDY GOLD.)

          • theblackdog

            Oooh, I should pick those up. I am also told they really helped the Star Wars Prequels.

            Oh and if its in the Rifftrax store, pick up the short “Magical Disappearing Money.” It’s one of the funniest ones I have watched. Also the MST3K reunion special from last summer is hysterical. Mary Jo Pehle (Pearl) is hilarious as a riffer.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    We’re going to build a wall, and the Mexicans are going to piss against it.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      I’d be willing to cross streams from the other side.

    • Beowoof14

      The cameras are to get it all on tape for Trump’s fapping pleasure.

  • What are the odds that tomorrow at his news conference that Trump says he had to see what Russian Hookers are like so that he can make sure American hookers are the best?

    • Spurning Beer

      “I assure you, Russian hookers wouldn’t be my first choice.”

    • NellCote71

      But he married one, if not two.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Yes, I’m certain that there will definitely for sure be a news conference tomorrow. Yup. No way Drumpf is going to find an excuse not to have news conference. He will do one FOR. SURE.

  • Doug Langley

    And you people thought Trump was broke. Why, just look at his liquid assets.

  • Résistance Land Shark

    Kellyanne honey? You think you can spin this one? Maybe so. But there will be another leak and another tape and another video …. ad nauseum.

    I hope to have a backup plan for your reputation.

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    AL FRANKEN IS A NATIONAL FUCKING TREASURE!!!!! Here he is asking Sessions about Trump’s claims of massive voter fraud in California:
    “But Senator Al Franken pretty quickly drew blood by eliciting an admission from Sessions that he might have exaggerated his involvement in civil-rights cases while a U.S. Attorney (Franken was subsequently upbraided by Ted Cruz, in a rare and unconvincing appearance as a defender of moderation and bipartisanship!). And later on, the Minnesotan clearly threw Sessions off his game by asking about the president-elect’s famous tweet about losing the popular vote only because “millions of illegal votes” had been cast for his opponent.

    If millions of fraudulent votes were cast, you should be concerned. Have you, like, talked with him about that? You’re gonna be the one that has to prosecute that and protect the vote, so he didn’t talk to you?
    No, replied Sessions; Trump did not apprise his future attorney general of any evidence he had for so remarkable an assertion, which if true would become pretty much all Sessions would work on for a year or two.

    What made this an effective line of caustic questioning is that Franken was challenging Sessions, a big believer in the phantom menace of voter fraud, to put up or shut up: If Trump was alleging voter fraud on a scale unknown since the days of Boss Tweed, wasn’t Sessions concerned about it? And if not, why not?

    We’re still waiting for an answer to that one.”

    NICE BURN, AL!!!

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/01/franken-stumps-sessions-on-trumps-crazy-voter-fraud-tweet.html

    • Serai 1

      He’s REALLY good at the stealth attack.

    • TJ Barke

      Too bad Americans are dumber than posts.

    • Ωbjectifier

      A burn but also a fair question.

    • rachelmap

      …since the days of Boss Tweed…

      I read that as ‘Boss Tweet‘ at first, for some reason.

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        That’s an awesome nickname for Donnie Dump.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Darn that Rachel reminding us about Monica Crowley, plagiarist.

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend
  • AngryKatie

    This would be a great time to revisit Trump’s ties to the eugenicist that’s building the massive urine stockpile.

  • Donald Trump: Diaper-Daddy of his Nation!

    • Beowoof14

      David Vitter has some serious competition for the title.

  • Count Awesome

    There is something catheter-tic about this.

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    I can’t wait to see how my ultra conservative neighbor spins this one. Probably “fake news created by Democrats.”

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      the flying monkey brigade is already parroting that everywhere

      • Count Awesome

        The flying monkeys better make sure their masters don’t get any liquid on them.

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        They can’t deal with it coming from Republicans, huh?

      • Never mind it is front page all over Russian News.

    • Edith Prickly

      You have to wonder how long it will take the dimmest of them to figure out that they should just STFU about voting for Trump.

      • OrG

        Don’t hold your breath.

      • WomanInTheResistance

        Courtesy of cynmac. areyousorryyet.com

        • B00kLove-Proud Nasty Woman

          My take; “Do you feel stupid yet?”

    • OrG

      BINGO!

  • Shibusa
  • Michael R
  • BadKitty904

    Disgusting-pig-doing-disgusting-pig-stuff aside, was this all over the news and I somehow missed it?

    Congress Quietly Passes New Rule Allowing House Members to Hide Records from Ethics Probes
    Politicians can now shield expenditures from investigations.
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/secret-new-rule-allows-house-members-to-hide-records-from-ethics-probes_us_58746aefe4b099cdb0ff34eb

    • Résistance Land Shark

      Until someone presses using the FEDERAL statute. If I was a journalist, I’d be filing FOI requests for every fucking thing I could think of.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      No. The news was all Meryl Streep. You know those early 20th century burlesque shows? And how they would have fan dancers? At the moment, I feel like the world’s least titillated tired business man.

      • BadKitty904

        You can sacrifice your sacro,
        Work it in the back row…

    • yyyaz

      These fucking pigs are smrt enough only to never miss a chance to enrich themselves at our expense.

    • MΩebym

      Thanks for posting this. Not at all surprising.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Hmmmm. Let’s see. I think the nice ergonomic one…

      fuckers.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Oh, for fuck’s sake.

      • BadKitty904

        I couldn’t have put it better, Cally…

  • Shibusa
  • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

    Trumpy will always be #1 in my book.

  • BadKitty904

    Suddenly, no Twits? Or will we have to wait ’til 3AM, when Twitler is wired on Scotch and blow?

    • Count Awesome

      He’s just holding it in, but it will be a massive stream of conscious rant when he finally let’s loose.

      • BadKitty904

        Depends.

        • Mary Stone

          Depends are for losers, LOSERS!

  • TJ Barke

    God, I hope he has a coronary…

    • Count Awesome

      I severe urinary infection would be classic.

    • BadKitty904

      Well, he WAS born to be a global laughingstock…

    • Shoto

      Not before his presser tomorrow morning. I’m ready for some Serious Comedy.

  • Shibusa
    • TJ Barke

      What a petty fucker.

      • BadKitty904

        Petty to the point of being serious unbalanced, mentally.

        • We are talking about a man who cut his disabled nephew out of an inheritance because Trump daddy liked the kid’s father better.
          His pettiness has no bounds.

    • Thiazin Red

      Points for her screen name.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Might need to ask Graydon Carter to have that gold shar-pee tested.

  • Rotisserie Teal

    So, I guess that explains his favoring of trickle down economics. I love it.

  • Tio_Doidinho
    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Doomed.

  • BadKitty904

    No wonder the Rockettes won’t go near him.

  • haroldpp

    The FBI found the initial report creditable enough to seek warrants to monitor 4 members of Putin’s Puppet’s campaign. Was denied as to broad, but at least the FBI thought it had merit.

    Also, more on Comey: he wouldn’t comment on this alarming report before the election because it isn’t proper to comment on ongoing investigations (that aren’t about emails).

    • RIGHT???
      And then when asked for clarification he goes “Well, closed investigations are ok!”
      Ohhhh so why did you say you were reopening it asswipe?

    • BadKitty904

      Which makes me wonder what the GOP/Kremlin has on Comey.

      How much is “30 pieces of silver” in rubles, Jim?

  • Count Awesome

    The intelligence communities do not want to debrief Trump about this because they don’t want piss in their eyes.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
  • Garbageman

    C’mon, Tweety Trump . . . give us a tweet on this one!

  • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy
  • memzilla Ω

    Donald Drumpf: urethra for him or against him.

    • boredcatlady

      Winner!

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      Ba dum piss!

      Now peese show yourself out.

    • Count Awesome

      Too bad a lot of the undecided voters decided to go with the flow.

    • FlemmishSpy

      Whatever you do, don’t cross the streams!

  • doktorzoom

    PEE CAN’T MELT STEEL BEAMS!!!!!

    • Pee from Chernobyl might.

      • Mary Stone

        Too late, Trump’s already pissed on the third rail.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      OK everyone. Gauntlet has been thrown DOWN.

      Keyboards at the ready, Captain, O’ my Captain.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Careful where you throw it, don’t want it getting wet

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      This was a pee-emptive strike from the Intelligence Community

      • Count Awesome

        SEAL Team #1!

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Plug the leak!

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Peehold the power of my smeg!

  • Jennifer R

    His activation phrase is Purple Monkey Bed Pisser.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Hi-ho all. The Internet seems to reaching peak pee performance tonight.

    • Jennifer R

      At least they aren’t piss shy.

  • HorseChestnut

    Any hot, wet takes from alleged urine enthusiast Todd Starnes?

  • Count Awesome

    Trump really puts the P in Presidential.

  • Sedagive

    People are saying that Donald Trump colluded with Putin to hack Hillary’s emails in return for threatening NATO and approving the Russian annexation of Crimea. That’s what I heard people saying. Someone told me that, and I’m not saying it’s true, but people are talking about it.

    Also: I read on the internet that Trump paid some hookers to piss on Obama’s bed while Trump watched. These are very reliable sources. We’re going to send some people, the best people, to look into this. We’re going to send them to Russia and they’re going to find evidence and you will not believe how good that evidence is going to be.

    • yyyaz

      Too subtle.

  • btwbfdimho

    No wonder Trump’s gambling business lost >$900b: he gets the golden showers and Putin gets the golden parachutes!

  • BadKitty904

    Please be sure to remind every single person who mentions this to you – “The Republican Party is responsible for this.

  • BREAKING: Secret Service changes PEEOTUS code name from “Mogul” to “Micturate”

    • aktlib101

      Micturator in Chief (MIC)…sounds good to me

  • BMW

    Kellyanne Conway is going to be sparring with Seth Meyers on his show tonight.

    • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

      With her duck and weave moves, she could go 10 rounds with Ali. Good luck Seth.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Kellyanne WeeWee

  • Edith Prickly

    That’s it, I’m calling Trump Cheez Whiz from now on…

    • phoenix00

      He does look like he’s been in the microwave a few times.

  • Spurning Beer

    Jesus, Kellyanne. You don’t have to be so pissy about it.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Pisswatergate

  • So….
    Can anyone shake out one last little drop of a pee joke?

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      You’re in luck….

    • OrG

      If you shake it more than twice you’re playing with yourself.

      • yyyaz

        so????

    • ltmcdies

      the tweeter has a #PEEOTUS thread on the go

    • OrdinaryJoe

      I’m just about flush out.

    • Smibo

      Did urea have to ask?

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    So I guess Comey told them that the Russians have a lot of information on Republicans too, and they could use it in the future.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Great. Now we’re all going to get a lecture from Melon about bullying Russian hookers.

    • Markuserektus

      She allegedly has first hand experience…

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Her left hand or her right?

  • Beowoof14
  • BreakingDeadMen
  • Garbageman

    Now I see it – sorry I’m late to the party (that’s what I get for taking a nap) . . . haha, people are call him #PEEOTUS . . .

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/49ab504b1e53ff8e1fe5d270c708a838364aff81fcb4efd4cceb545767a121c0.png

    • Me The People

      This is what he gets for merging streams with Putin.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I cannot wait to get home to my Twitter feed!

    • Garbageman

      As bad as these four years will be, they should provide nonstop comedy material . . . that’s our silver lining (golden lining?) . . .

  • You know, after years of arguing about whether getting a blow job from an intern is a high crime or misdemeanor, you have to give Trump and his team credit for going for straight forward treason.

  • BadKitty904
    • OrG

      HA! CCCPee

  • Courser

    And we’re going to inaugurate this shitstain in 10 days. Seriously. This twisted, black soul who lives to denigrate, humiliate and destroy everything he touches.

    • Notreelyhelping

      And probably never tips.

      • Courser

        Undoubtedly.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I’ll get to the story in a moment, but that toilet photo is fucking PERFECT!

  • BMW
    • OrdinaryJoe

      Because Trump always ends with a pee.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    I’m betting good money Putrumpkin does not have a piss conference tomorrow.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Here’s the 35-page memo, for those who need some bedtime reading. BBL…

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I don’t have bulimia. Or appreciate nightmares.

    • BadKitty904

      I’ll wait for the Twitter-version…

  • BadKitty904

    Thanks, GOPee!

    • OrG

      GOPEE FIFY

      • BadKitty904

        Fixed. And well done on an excellent catch!

    • Dreaming Vertebrate

      *GOPee!

    • JHan

      LOL

  • BadKitty904
    • OrdinaryJoe

      By the hour.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      “Streaming video.”

    • Bozilingus

      Photoshop a yellow stain on those sheets and repost, please. – DJT

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Russian hookers and watersports? C’mon guys, don’t make me like him!

    • Jamoche

      It’s not a kink, it’s petty territory-marking.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Speaking of water falling from above, it’s pouring again outside.

  • Dreaming Vertebrate

    This is all compensation for Trump’s chronic condition of enuresis, that sadly has never remitted. Stay dry Donnie!

  • FauxAntocles

    I’m betting the piss is just the tip of the iceberg…

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Who is Source D? A “close associate of Trump” who verified the conduct? I can’t wait to see the purge that little nugget sets in motion.

    • ltmcdies

      guess this sort of stuff could be the reason for those NDA Trump is so adamant about

  • OrdinaryJoe

    I shoulda known Trumpo would be the inspiration for a night of potty humor.

  • BadKitty904

    “No, Donald, ‘waterboarding’ is different…”

  • Markuserektus
  • WomanInTheResistance
    • Shoto

      Great tune. Here’s a solo instrumental.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PqU0LvwZZs

    • HorseChestnut

      Karen Carpenter’s voice was one of the finest instruments created. I could listen to her sing the phone book.

      • Shoto

        Her voice was exceptional, alright. Gone way too soon.

  • Vecchiojohn

    I predict Trump will eventually be convicted by a jury of his peers.

    • WomanInTheResistance

      I prefer to think there not are 12 orange, narcissistic, pathologically lying, grifting, sexually predatory, psuedo- billionaires in this world. It’s the optimist in me.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      iswydt

    • limdog

      of his peters?

  • Me The People

    Any Trump votin women showed up with “I’ll pee for you Donald” shirts yet?

  • The Librarian

    It’s a nightmare and a funny dream at the same time.

    • Shoto

      What’s the average of nightmare, comedy and surreal?

    • OrG

      Better than just a nightmare,no?

      • The Librarian

        Absolutely, but in this case I want it never to end. Let it stay in the public and get milked for all it’s worth. :D

  • FlemmishSpy

    Make America #1 Again!

    • Notreelyhelping

      Well done!

  • Antimassacree

    Whodathunkit. All along Trump was a Goldwater Republican.

  • Shoto
    • OrG

      Needs moar pee.

  • Vecchiojohn
    • Garbageman

      Careful, man . . . there’s a beverage here!

      • Vecchiojohn

        White Russian?

  • OrdinaryJoe

    For over a year now Trumpee has been pissing on the American electorate and telling them he was making it rain.

    • OrG

      HAHA! TrumPEE,ISWYDT

  • Mary Stone

    Can’t decide which Donald Trump, our Pee-OTUS, is more pissed about: The water sports, or the fact that Putin has played him like the cheap violin that he is.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Oh, the concert has yet to even begin. This is just the tuning.

  • OrG

    Man,if I was a russian hooker I could get paid for those four times a night I have to get up and pee.

    • Tio_Doidinho

      Can’t monetize it until you have the “blue steel” look down.

  • Garbageman
  • Lesser Tiffany

    Did I imagine Trump say he likes Nixon? I swear that was something that happened. Anyway here we have WATERGATE PART 2

    • Other Chris

      Remember not long ago when Donnie kept saying Clinton emails were “Bigger den Watergate, folks! Bigger den Watergate!”?

      Good times.

    • Apple Scruff

      I think you mean #GoldenGate*

      *I stole that one and hope you do too.

      • Lesser Tiffany

        I love this.

  • BadKitty904

    The “Party of Lincoln,” eh?

    • WomanInTheResistance

      Logs, perhaps. Depending on which hooker you talk to.

      • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

        We have a winner!

    • HogeyeGrex

      Party of Tinklin’ is more like it.

    • Vecchiojohn

      Bunga bunga party of Lincoln.

  • Garbageman
  • haroldpp

    Anyone think Putin’s Puppet will still have a presser tomorrow? Maybe just in his Safe Space at Fox with Hannity.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    I’ll just repeat what I said last night:

    Don’t cross the streams!

  • WomanInTheResistance

    What the hell, Disqus? I’m getting comment after comment showing up in random order. Yeah, time isn’t necessarily linear, but this is rediculous.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Same thing is happening to me. IDK WTF. Come on, Disqus, FFS!

      • Shoto

        I banged on the side of the monitor, but it didn’t seem to help. Maybe if I wiggle the rabbit ears?

        • WomanInTheResistance

          I’ve tried turning things on and off, and at the moment things seem to have calmed down. But I am not convinced.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      They can’t keep up. Just hold your water for a few minutes.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    I guess now we know what Trumpee meant by “draining the swamp.”

    • limdog

      I guess there were lizards in this swamp?

      • rachelmap

        In swamp, lizard drains you?

  • Me The People

    Is there a temporal anomaly going on?

    • ltmcdies

      that’s it…get Data to re-set time and the universe

      this has to be the universe where Spock has a beard, right?

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    So, was all the pussy-grabbing some kind reflex check? “This one clearly has a great pelvic floor, assume urethra in prime condition. Sign her up!”

  • SayItWithWookies

    Well at least these documents aren’t being taken so seriously that Trump election team people aren’t under surveillance by law enforcement. Oh, wait:

    The Guardian has learned that the FBI applied for a warrant from the foreign intelligence surveillance (Fisa) court over the summer in order to monitor four members of the Trump team suspected of irregular contacts with Russian officials. The Fisa court turned down the application asking FBI counter-intelligence investigators to narrow its focus. According to one report, the FBI was finally granted a warrant in October, but that has not been confirmed, and it is not clear whether any warrant led to a full investigation.

    • Shoto

      I’m guessing we’re seeing the tip of the iceberg on Tangerine Turdboy, and his regime of deplorables. I can’t even begin to imagine what remains classified.

    • HogeyeGrex

      That may be the first FISA warrant ever denied.

      IOKIYAR.

  • davecity

    Can you order Bailey’s in a shoe at that trump hotel bar? Asking for a friend.

  • Notreelyhelping

    Maybe he’ll step down due to kidney stones.

  • So how are all those folks that were so scandalized about Bill Clinton getting a blow job going to justify the PeeOTUS’s golden showers?

    • OrG

      Liberal Lies.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      IOKIYAR?

    • Me The People

      “It was a joke…a locker room prank”

    • Pisto75666

      “Dem conspiracy! you just want him to fail!”….rinse…..repeat. etc….etc.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      It will start with, “But Killary’s emails…..”

    • Me The People

      “This just makes him seem like a regular guy”

      • Pisto75666

        “Everyone makes mistakes!” (literally saw this on Facebook)

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Who hasn’t paid thousands of dollars on Slavic hookers to befoul the furniture in a five-star hotel suite?

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      Golden showers is just like regular folks. Blow jobs are, you know, French.

  • Electric Ukulele Land

    Well, if it is fake, it is a brilliant combination of “utterly ridiculous, despicably sickening” and “that’s kind of something I would believe Trump would do”

    • Apple Scruff

      If it’s true, Trump could be outta here. If not… still 4 years of pee pee memes.

    • FlemmishSpy

      I await the kerning experts’ analysis.

  • HorseChestnut

    Waste of Russian hooker urine.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    So, taking a Wonkette poll here: did Pence know all of this, or just part of it, when he accepted the veep nomination?

    • OrdinaryJoe

      I’m guessing he has been humming Hail to the Chief to himself every time he took a piss today.

      • JCfromNC

        I’ve been wondering since the nomination of Trump & Pence if the RNC leadership hasn’t been planning on impeaching Trump in his first month. That way they can put Pence, a hardline culture warrior, in the Oval Office and have someone they can really work with.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          Yeah, that’s what I am thinking, too. This is John McCain’s final great performance.

    • Apple Scruff

      I don’t think he knew when he accepted, but I bet he learned about it before the election. Which means he could also get impeached (if this stuff gets proven true, that is).

    • Shoto

      If he didn’t have an inkling, he’s even more brain-dead than we already suspected he was. Or perhaps he figured that Babby Jeezuz would fix everything. Or maybe he saw an easy path to the Top Slot: Drumpf gets removed, and he steps up. I’m sure ZEGS Ryan and Turtle-Boy McConnell would be perfectly fine with that scenario.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I bet he didn’t- he really is that dumb

      • Pisto75666

        I’d bet he did know. Kind of a ‘you keep my secrets, I’ll keep yours & make you VP” thing. Pence doesn’t seem like a guileful person.

    • He was probably hoping Trump would pee on him. Those ultraconservative anti-sex asshats are always kinky underneath.

    • OrG

      Maybe didn’t care.Saved him the humiliation of losing re-election bid for Indiana governor.

  • WomanInTheResistance
    • TJ Barke

      Oh no. Portlanders don’t know how to snow…

      • WomanInTheResistance

        You are correct. Twice in a week is fucking bizarre.

        • Notreelyhelping

          Shake hands with our new friend, Polar Vortex.

      • OrG

        Have they called off school for Thursday and Friday yet?

        • WomanInTheResistance

          I’m sure they will.

    • Shoto

      Great shot.

    • Scrofula

      What is all that stuff?

      • WomanInTheResistance

        We call them “trees”.

      • ken_kukec

        Moscow winter water sports.

  • Vecchiojohn

    I don’t know if this is true, but it’s too good not to be.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      I would say more like, we knew it was true all along. I did, anyway.

  • BearOmegaNomNom

    Eagerly anticipating the new Mexican/Russian fusion restaurants at Trump’s hotel properties, and the taco bowls that await us there. Sí sí sí, pee!

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      CCCP, Comrade! Olga will see you now.

  • Shoto

    Any guesses as to what, if any, damage this might cause for the brand?

    • FlemmishSpy

      Golden showers, no silver lining.

      • ken_kukec

        Sounds like a Nashville hit.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      I predict an increase in inquiries about which rooms he has stayed in himself, followed by those rooms not being taken.

    • ken_kukec

      I see an opportunity for a new line of Trump fragrances — not to mention a new line of Trump bottled water.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    I would pay to piss on the Russian Puppet.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      Why? He would pay you!

      • ken_kukec

        In Russia, puppet pay you.

        Where Yakov Smirnoff when you need him?

    • WomanInTheResistance

      He could think of it as an alternate revenue stream.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Okay, that is funny.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    This is a fake. A false flag. The Trumpanzees are using this to distract from the confirmation hearings, the conflict of interest issues and the medical care repeal.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Peegate may be a false flag, but the broader allegation that Putin can blackmail Donald is pretty fucking serious indeed. I agree that we shouldn’t focus on it to the exclusion of the issues you mention, but we’d better not ignore this either. We need to tag-team to cover this administration’s disasters!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Except that David Corn reported on this in October. Except that there’s verification from others. Except they’re not that smart…

    • ken_kukec

      So the same strategy as the Michigan legislator who leaked the fake story that he was involved with a male prostitute to distract attention from his affair with another Republican legislator — kinda like that?

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      You have it backwards. The Senate hearings are supposed to distract us from Treason, High Crimes and Felonies.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Excerpt from the full document:

    Educated US youth to to be targeted as protest (against CLINTON) and swing vote in attempt to turn them over to TRUMP

    Congratulations, “I just wasn’t that in to her” assholes (of any age) who voted 3rd party/stayed home/went full TrumpPenceZee: you were Putin’s puppets too!

  • limdog

    The things rich people do…

  • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

    Is anyone actually surprised by this? Be honest. (With or without filthy potty mouth.)

    • Garbageman