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He's been idle on AOL Instant Messenger for so many days now!
He’s been idle on AOL Instant Messenger for so many days now!

One of the funnier stories this week has been that SOMEBODY cut off WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange’s internet privileges at the Ecuadorean embassy in London, where he’s been holed up forever trying to skate on a rape charge from Sweden. This happened RIGHT during WikiLeaks’s campaign to influence the American election (most likely at Russia’s behest) by leaking thousands of emails to and from Hillary Clinton’s campaign chair John Podesta. But who had done it? Who changed the embassy’s WiFi password from “IHateHillaryClintonAndMaybeI’mARapistAlsoToo” to something different, like “FuckJulianAssange666”? Who took the TV out of Assange’s bedroom and said he can’t go to senior prom either? Was it U.S. American Secretary of State John Kerry? Did Hillary Clinton personally do Vince Foster Benghazi to Assange’s AOL account?

Nah, it was none of that, it was Ecuador. Wonder what sort of message they’re sending here, huh! Here’s Ecuador’s statement about why old Rape-Van McPrinciples can’t watch cat videos on YouTube right now:

ecuador

Click to embiggen, of course, but here is the pertinent part:

The Government of Ecuador respects the principle of non-intervention in the internal affairs of other states. It does not interfere in external electoral processes, nor does it favor any particular candidate.

Accordingly, Ecuador has exercised its sovereign right to temporarily restrict access to some of its private communications network within its Embassy in the United Kingdom. This temporary restriction does not prevent the WikiLeaks organization from carrying out its journalistic activities.

WikiLeaks “confirmed” Ecuador had did it on Monday, but it’s best not to just take what WikiLeaks says at face value until you get confirmation. WikiLeaks also tweeted Tuesday that its “sources” say John Kerry asked the country to kick Assange in the nuts. The State Department says, “Nah, bro, Kerry didn’t do that, maybe Ecuador just thinks you’re rapey, a little bit big for your britches, exorbitantly naïve about how the world works, and also they hate you.” (Not the exact words the State Department’s spokesperson said.) More from Ecuador’s statement:

Ecuador’s foreign policy responds to sovereign decisions alone and does not yield to pressure from other states.

HMMMM, wonder who is lying and who’s telling the truth! Did Ecuador do this by theirselves, or did they respond to pressure from U.S. America? Wonkette’s journalism answer to that question is WHO FUCKING CARES?

Maybe Ecuador decided it would rather be friends with America, than with a little (allegedly!) rapey thug like Assange. Maybe John Kerry put Ecuador in a headlock and threatened to smother it with all his wife’s Heinz ketchup if it didn’t cut off Assange’s internets. Maybe it has something to do with this weird conspiracy thingie out there about how Assange is being FRAMED! with allegations that, on top of the rape charge, he’s a big old pedophile.

Wonkette just checked with our sources, and decided the answer is still LONG HAIR DON’T CARE.

Maybe Julian Assange can use the time while he’s locked in his bedroom without internet to think about what he’s done, learn his lesson, and the second he gets intertubes back, delete his damn account.

[Boston Globe]

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  • Nounverb911

    I hope they at least gave him dial-up at 2400 baud instead…

  • tihond

    You’ve gotta seed, Assange.

  • Nounverb911

    Assangeghazi!

  • bubbuhh
  • MynameisBlarney

    Douchewhistle?

    I thought he was a shitwhistle..

    Now I’m all confussed.

    • Grizz1y

      He is both a douchewhistle and a shitweasel, simultaneously even.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Schrodinger’s Turd?

  • Usedtobeyellerdawg

    Did they also make him go to bed early and tell him no TV?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      And they took all the Mountain Dew and Pizza Pockets away, too!

      • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

        But he’s still allowed ONE bag of Doritos a day. They’re not monsters.

      • aureolaborealis

        “Julian, you’ve been downgraded to Funions and Mr. Pibb.”

  • tihond

    Ecuador finally read the Yelp review Assange wrote about the Embassy.

    • “Worst Mexican food ever.”

    • schmannity

      Air conditioning sux, hot as the Equator.

    • MynameisBlarney

      “All the maids here insist on being called, “Madame Ambassador” or something stupid like that, and they just glare at me when I tell them my room needs cleaned up, or ask for some fresh towels. SO RUDE!”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Their risotto is terrible. John Podesta, amateur Chef, does better.”

    • tihond

      “They constantly brag about the Galapagos, but this place is more galapagross.”

  • tihond

    Ecuador was tired of Julian trolling the respawn point with Jeremy.

  • tihond

    Maybe the McDonalds across the street will give him asylum?

    • Nounverb911

      Or a job.

      • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

        Underqualified.

    • msanthropesmr

      I don’t think mayor McCheese has diplomatic immunity

      • tihond

        Sad that he doesn’t have the autocratic power of The Burger King.

        • msanthropesmr

          I think Jack in the box is a Cia mole.

  • I’m not an expert on Swedish prisons, but I’d bet they get some wifi time, Julian. Might be time to reconsider your choice of prison.

    • Thiazin Red

      Scandinavian prisons are nicer than non-prison places I’ve lived.

      • AngryKatie

        Scandinavian prison is nicer than several of the apartments I’ve lived in.

  • Reximus

    no more Uber Eats

  • Indiepalin

    Did they confiscate his weed as well?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Not to worry. Donald has already provided the Ecuadorian consulate in NY “relief supplies” that are to be delivered to London in a diplomatic pouch.

      • bubbuhh

        A pouch of rat dicks?

      • berkeleyfarm

        Wonder if someone’s going to try that with a prepaid aircard gizmo for Julian.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Ecuador is wrong. The leaked documents do not appear to have had any effect on the election. They did, however, provide all Americans with a good risotto recipe.

    • mackafritz

      The leaked documents showed that this campaign was run like there was an election coming up or something.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I, for one, am utterly outraged that the Clinton Campaign learned its lesson from 2008.

      • Crank Tango

        pay for play! tit for tat!

        uh, where was I…

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      But was it a good risotto? The mainstream media dropped the ball on that issue, and I’m not trusting any hacked emails.

      • hendenburg2

        That’s the thing about risotto. “Recipe” basically just mean “stuff to put on top.” If you don’t have good technique, all the other stuff won’t matter. A well-written recipe might help with details, but you’ll get two very different dishes if they’re prepared by a chef versus an average layperson

      • Thiazin Red

        Podesta was right about how important it is to add a little bit of liquid at a time, so I trust that the rest of the recipe is sound.

    • Thiazin Red

      They’re right that he was trying to affect the election. He said that his intention was to bring down Clinton. He didn’t because there was nothing especially noteworthy, but he did try.

    • AngryKatie

      They’ve broadened the schism in the electorate. Most people saw them as either irrelevant, or proof that she’s competent.

      But for ~30% of Americans they’re proof that electing her is akin to electing Pol Pot or Idid Amin. The content doesn’t matter, because they’re troglodytes who won’t read them, and wouldn’t understand them if they did. Clinton+email+wikileaks = lock her up.

      So it might not influence the election as such, but they definitely influence the environment the election is happening in, and they’re definitely going to influence whether or not that 30% accepts her as their President.

      • Good_Trouble_Yall

        Last night on Brian Williams’ show there was a report about Trumpf supporters who were all “Oh hell noes, she ain’t never gonna be the president of me!” Very scary. I was starting to feel okay about things but now I feel like I’m about to walk barefoot across a room in the dark where there’s a bunch of tacks on the floor.

        • AngryKatie

          That’s where I’m at too. I feel good about her winning, but I’m not sure what winning means now.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            More or less the same as when Obama won – twice. If we get congress too, we’re doing great. (Only Hils won’t make the mistake of trusting “bipartisanship.” The R’s killed that one for good.) If we get the senate only, we’re doing sorta Ok. If we just the presidency, it’s gonna be another long eight years :(

        • Lulu Mac

          Or worse…Legos…*shudder*

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          They talk a good game but very few will actually act. It’s intimidation tactics. Besides, they know that they are both outnumbered and wrong.

  • goonemeritus

    Upon careful reflection Ecuador has concluded that the possibility of a Trump presidency is vanishingly small.

  • Reximus

    Since when does posting hacked docs = journalism?

    • The Wanderer

      (mumbles) Pentagon Papers…..

      • Reximus

        Does this mean my Wonker-posts make me a Pundit?

        • The Wanderer

          I think everyone’s a pundit these days.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            We Wonketeers put the “pun” in pundit.

        • TJ Barke

          There are no comments…

    • aureolaborealis

      Maybe that was the point: “You will no longer be free to post shit from the hard-drive in your bedroom, but should you fall through some kind of wormhole and find yourself doing actual journalism, you have our support.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The thing is, the hacked docs you do release need to be actual matters of concern. You know, like John Podesta preparing risotto.

  • Spotts1701

    Does he still get Pokémon GO time?

    • Ima Witstüp

      I’m guessing no. If he had a phone he wouldn’t have to use the embassy’s guest WiFi.

  • aureolaborealis

    I’m beginning to feel like this Julian Assange fellow might not be the hero we need at this point.

    • Stulexington

      I have a sinking feeling that he’s the hero we deserve though.

  • schmannity

    Free rent and food in London. Who do you have to allegedly rape for such a deal?

  • cousin itt

    Number of degrees of separation between Julian Assange and James O’Keefe now trending @one_degree_of_Bacon.

    • Nounverb911

      Baconzgood libelz!

      • Oblios_Cap

        For Shame!

  • calliecallie

    Ecuador, my new hero.

    • schmannity

      More principled that Donald Dump’s hero, Pooty.

  • Good_Trouble_Yall

    I found this guy in my tomato bed the other day. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/86249fc8798e83c4aa8192bc9e877615f60800b6293f327ddc303f850866689b.jpg
    I feel that he would make a better president than Trumplethinskin, and also is likely superior to Assange on many levels, too.

    • Oblios_Cap

      I kill several of those each year. I can’t wait for the wasp eggs to hatch, because those buggers eat a whole plant in a day.

      • Good_Trouble_Yall

        Yes – when I found him he had eaten half of a tomato the size of a silver dollar; a couple of hours later he had eaten the whole thing and was moving on. I put him in a jar at that point for the kids down the street to observe.

        • bubbuhh

          Good thing you dint try to trap him in another tomato.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      What the hell is that thing, and here do they live? (Not here in the Pacific NW, I think…)

      • Good_Trouble_Yall

        It’s a tobacco horn worm. You can tell because his horn is red. A real tomato horn worm has a blue horn. (People had to tell me this – I put his picture on my FB page with a “what the hell”). As for where he lives, I’m in Kentuckistan.

        • MynameisBlarney

          That’s all well and good, ‘cept that thar t’baccy horn worm is makin a meal outta yer ‘maters!

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Well, we do slugs really well here, and the best in-person mortificationization I’ve learned for such creatures is a simple, lowly pair of scissors. No touching. A simple mid-torso vasectomy and.. voila.

    • MynameisBlarney
      • Gayer Than Thou

        Seriously. #triggerwarning

    • Darkrose

      Aww! Reminds me of the pet tomato worm I had for a day as a kid. RIP Wormy.

  • Wild Cat

    And to think . . . Assange would not exist if Chelsea Manning didn’t want the bloody US Army to give him a gender-change operation. I mean, really, doesn’t Chelsea know the place to go for gender reassignment is Iran?

  • Randy Riddle

    I didn’t realize there were that many Russian tv shows to bingewatch on Netflix.

  • Longstreet63

    I’d like to know how Gary Johnson stands on Ecuador.

    • Nounverb911

      Is it near a lepo?

      • cousin itt

        Alms for a lepo?

    • greyXstar

      “With my feet, obviously!”

    • Nockular cavity

      “What is a quadore?”

      • MynameisBlarney

        “I never got into the Harry Pepper films”.

    • Good_Trouble_Yall

      I’d like to know if he could find it on a map, name its capitol, or tell us whether it is ruled by a king, president, prime minister, or some other person of elevated position.

    • aureolaborealis

      “Wow. Now we’re really getting into the weeds.”

    • Stulexington

      I have both an equal opportunity and open door policy, an equidoor policy if you will.

    • eggsacklywright

      “What’s an Ecuador?”

  • greyXstar

    Worst Geralt of Rivia cosplayer ever.

  • limberrat

    So I decided to respond to Trump’s Administration Survey:
    1. Secretary of State: Elizabeth McCord

    2. Attorney General: Judge Dredd
    3. Secretary of Veterans Affairs: John Rambo
    4. Secretary of Homeland Security: Thomas J. Whitmore
    5. Secretary of Defense: Tony Stark
    6. Secretary of Treasury: Gordon Gecko
    7. Secretary of Labor: Jean Valjean
    8. Secretary of Energy: I thought we were outlawing this department?
    9. Secretary of Health and Human Services: Albert Wesker
    10. Chief of Staff: Billy Bush

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Won’t they want Billy Bush at the EEOC?

    • beingreleased

      W. for Sec. of Education: Is our children learned yet?

    • Thiazin Red

      No way would Valjean make it on there, dirty liberal.

      Wesker made me LOL though.

    • Good_Trouble_Yall

      Since, in what passes for his own “mind,” Trumpf is all things and all things are Trumpf, I suspect there will be no Secretaries of any departments – just a group of lackeys and lickspittles who report to Herr Drumpenfuhrer directly while he wears the title of King God Emperor of all he Surveys Plus Some Things he Can’t See from Here but Definitely Positively is in Charge Of.

    • gene108

      “3. Secretary of Veterans Affairs: John Rambo”

      Assuming he can manage the PTSD, not a bad choice. I’m sure he wants Veterans to be treated better than he was, back in the 1980’s, in some small town in Washington state.

    • TJ Barke

      Shouldn’t secretary of labor be an Ayn Rand character?

      • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

        All of Ayn Rand’s characters are Ayn Rand. You’ll need to be more specific.

  • Indiepalin

    Breaking: Madonna: “If you vote for Hillary, I will give you a blowjob.”

    • aureolaborealis

      I feel like there may be some fine print involved.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Well…she’s gonna be quite busy for a while then apparently.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        A girl has to keep busy!

    • cousin itt

      A bunk, a bunk! My kingdom for a bunk!

      /all due respect to actor212

    • aureolaborealis

      ‘If you vote for Hillary Clinton I will give you a blowjob. Ok? I’m really good. I’m not a douche and I’m not a tool. I take my time, I have a lot of eye contact and I do swallow.’

      • MynameisBlarney

        I’ll be in my bunk.

        • aureolaborealis

          Right?

          • MynameisBlarney

            Seriously…I bet she could suck start a Harley.

      • I once read that you could get a man to do anything with the promise of a blow job. The author explained that the key word there was “promise”. Follow through wasn’t necessary, the promise is enough.

        • aureolaborealis

          I think implication of a blowjob might be sufficient.

          • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

            Or even a suggestion that, somewhere out there in the Wide World, blowjobs exist.

        • MynameisBlarney

          I’m one of the few guys I know that doesn’t really care for BJ’s.
          I mean they’re ok, I guess…but it’s not something I ask for when I’m in a relationship.
          I have more of a giving personality, if you will.

      • Kavefish

        Is the offer still valid if Hillary was already my choice?

    • Gentle Robot

      Yeah I’m not sure I want whatever Madonna has now much less what she has after sucking 30 million dicks

      • MynameisBlarney

        I dunno…she was probably safe-ish enough. Just like most folks.
        I’d date her, given the opportunity.

  • aureolaborealis

    Or … there really isn’t much interesting content left to release, and claiming that he’s being shut down gives him one last spasm of credibility.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      In the tradition of this great web hub, I believe it’s a “last dribble of a spasm”.

    • Stulexington

      Or Putin did it to spice up the “meh” response the leaks have been getting. If he gets caught it just ups his cred in the upcoming US vs Russia pissing contest.

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    “Ecuador, in accordance with its tradition of defending human rights…”

    OT, but excuse me while I lol. What a crock of shit.

    “The administration of President Rafael Correa has expanded state control over media and civil society and abused its power to harass, intimidate, and punish critics. In 2015, thousands of people participated in public demonstrations against government policies. Security forces on multiple occasions responded with excessive force. Abuses against protesters, including arbitrary arrests, have not been adequately investigated.

    Other ongoing concerns include limited judicial independence, poor prison conditions, and women’s and girls’ limited access to reproductive health care due to fear of prosecution.

    The government refused to participate in all but one public hearing before the Inter-American Commission on Human Rights and stated that it would not comply with the commission’s recommendations.

    In March, the United Nations Committee on the Elimination of Discrimination against Women expressed its concern about women’s limited access to therapeutic abortion and their consequent resort to unsafe abortions, in addition to breaches of confidentiality by health care personnel who report to authorities women who seek an abortion or health care after a miscarriage.

    Official statistics show that one in four women over 15 years old in Ecuador has been a victim of sexual violence.”

    https://www.hrw.org/world-report/2016/country-chapters/ecuador

    • bubbuhh

      I think they meant defending the human rights of furriners when doing so might help with the country’s international public image or its cash flow.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        Absolutely. Assange is heinous on so many levels. Check this out:

        That relationship [between US and Ecuador] soured in early April 2011, when the Ecuadorean government expelled the American ambassador, Heather M. Hodges, angered by comments she had made in confidential cables, obtained by WikiLeaks, in which she accused Mr. Correa of appointing a corrupt police chief in order to have someone in the post “whom he could easily manipulate.”

        Assange introduced his guest by calling Correa “a transformative leader,” and pointed out that Correa expelled the U.S. ambassador after reports that a WikiLeaks State Department cable showed that the American ambassador was concerned about an allegedly corrupt high ranking police official. The cable, published by Spanish newspaper El Pais, said Correa was aware of corruption by the police high command.”

        http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/20/opinion/why-correa-lets-assange-stay-in-ecuador-embassy.html

        http://www.cnn.com/2012/06/20/world/assange-why-ecuador/

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “There you go, bringing those unfortunate facts into things again…”

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Well, when you put it that way…

  • Nockular cavity

    LONG HAIR DON’T CARE

    Always the best answer.

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    I suspect Ecuador doesn’t want to get pulled into an int’l incident because of Assange.

    • edith prickly

      Next step is to have that talk with Assange about how it’s really time he moved out and started being responsible for himself.

      • SnarkOff

        Also clean up your damn room. It smells like dirty sweat socks and weed.

        • Ricky Gay

          and broken condoms (allegedly)

          • Slavakitty

            She’s lying! It was a accident!!!

        • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

          And did you use thumbtacks on these posters? Dammit, Julian, we said no thumbtacks!

          • Rachel Book Harlot

            Ah, this brings me back. Of course, I will neither confirm nor deny that I had Kirk Cameron pics posted all over my walls…

    • SnarkOff

      Right? Of course they got pressured by Kerry. As they should.

  • Joe Beese

    Daily update on the clinching PA-VA-WI-CO-NH parlay. (538.com weighted averages)

    VA: +10.2
    NH: +8.8
    WI: +8.3
    CO: +8.1
    PA: +7.9

    I believe Hillary is sitting in the fabled catbird seat.

    • Lulu Mac

      I’m trying so hard not to get excited about this. I went to bed in Florida in 2000 thinking Al Gore was my president, so I am just too damn paranoid…but…maybe, just maybe…*squee*

      • eggsacklywright

        At least we avoided that asshole Lieberman.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        I usually want to run around screaming “don’t jinx us!!” whenever these stats are posted. I’m still scared to death and won’t rest until it’s actually over.

      • Paranoid Floridian here too. That was the first presidential election I was able to vote in, and I swear I have PTSD from the experience. I don’t believe it anymore till I hear a concession speech.

        …I may have to revise that criteria for this election.

    • And 538 has 77% chance that the Dems take the senate too…

  • SnarkOff

    HILLARY CLINTON CONTROLS ECUADOR!!!! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!!!

  • Gentle Robot

    I’m sure Assange thinks he’s the face of Wikileaks but really I was a fan of Snowden (who probably could’ve done fine with just Greenwald/Guardian).
    This is like the Beach Boys without Brian Wilson
    …. if John Stamos was a Russian hacker.

  • gene108

    I’d love to know, who pays WikiLeak’s bills. Purchasing, maintaining, and operating computer servers ain’t free.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      In Soviet Russia, bills pay you!

    • Lulu Mac

      Is Peggy…from customer service…da…

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Allegedly, people donate. And I assume entities too.

      Wikileaks lost the high ground a long time ago when they gave a platform to holocaust deniers and started doxxing ordinary people, gay people in Saudi Arabia, women in Turkey, DNC contributors, Jewish people in Baghdad, etc.

      Not especially happy to have social security numbers, etc out there floating around because Julian is an a-hole.

  • limberrat
    • Ima Witstüp

      Might have been an oopsie, but it’s not like Trump voters would think there was anything wrong with having a “5-point plan to defeat Islam.”

      • Spotts1701

        Most of them prefer the 1-point plan, which involves glassing Mecca.

    • Spotts1701

      His “plans” consist of “Do things big league, end bad things, make new good things, make existing good things better.” So, not so much plans as “theoretical concepts”.

      • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

        He’s still at ‘Platonic ideals.’ It’ll be a while before he gets to ‘theoretical concepts’ or even ‘vague notions.’

    • SayItWithWookies

      If Trump’s plan to defeat Islam involves volunteers going door-to-door and talking about the Two Corinthians, the JWs and the Mormons can let him know it’s gonna take some time.

    • UNIT Leftenant Anna

      The first paragraph of that article is approaching Wonkette levels of snark.

    • Islam=ISIS=Terrorism. It’s basically a synonym for these folks.

  • Gentle Robot

    I hope he uses his time offline to create a new WL logo because my god that one looks like it was made by a tenth grader 5 minutes before class

  • bookish

    The Atlantic: population displacement and wealth destruction likely effects of climate change.

    http://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2016/10/trump-the-first-demagogue-of-the-anthropocene/504134/

    • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

      Donnie’s lucked out, then, since he HAS no more wealth.

  • Antonin Dvorak
    • Joe Beese

      Eh. C- grade.

      538 has Hillz’ chance at 1-in-3. That seems plausible.

    • Yr. Gma

      Yeah! The conspiracy is working!

  • HanBarbara

    Who hasnt had to do this with their 13 year old at some point or another?

    • bubbuhh

      So, Mel should get tough with Donald?

      • HanBarbara

        She’s a mean girl and needs her intertubes privilege suspended, also

  • limberrat

    I dunno if it’s desperation to be heard or what, but She Who Shall Not Be Named is giving interviews with InfoWars now.

    https://twitter.com/fawfulfan/status/788773733150228480

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Crank Magnetism.

      She’s really letting the freak flag fly.

      • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

        ‘It’s working so well for Mr Trump! Didn’t you hear? He’s leading in every poll!’

    • Spotts1701

      To suffer credibility damage one must first have credibility to damage.
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e5133e5349343e223f17d09f4c24220949a7e61f87036438262eec75135fc49d.gif

    • Villago Delenda Est

      This is the sort of thing that would appeal to my wingnut sister, who is a vaxxer, who believes in chemtrails, and who is pointedly ignoring Monsanto’s involvement in the “No on 97” campaign in Oregon.

      • TJ Barke

        Wait, what? How would someone like that ignore Monsanto ever?

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Her hatred of government trumps that of an outfit she believe is intentionally killing people for the lulz, not inadvertently killing them for profit.

      • Yr. Gma

        You poor thing. And it’s almost Thanksgiving time.

    • MynameisBlarney

      The who-what now?

    • bubbuhh

      I wonder if JOnes will ask her for a date. I wonder if she’ll say yes.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Maybe if he does it like a bitch. She’s married.

        • bubbuhh

          But, doesn’t progressive mean loose as a weeble?

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Oh, not for ages.

      • limberrat

        Saw a hilarious response in that very line of thought.
        https://twitter.com/tbogg/status/788788335590330369

        • UNIT Leftenant Anna

          Oooh, good burn on the Dharma & Greg line. XD

    • Carpe Vagenda

      You know, other than “I’m Glenn Greenwald, bitch,” what exactly is the argument for a cold warrior funded by reactionary homophobic oligarchs yearning for a return to the golden days of serfdom taking over eastern Europe and the middle east hand in hand with Roy Cohn’s protege being the progressive option?

      • Joe Beese

        Does Glenn Greenwald actually tell people, “I’m Glenn Greenwald, bitch”?

        Because that would be very funny.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Nah. More like “Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Glenn Greenwald says Democrats have adopted a “Cold War McCarthyite kind of rhetoric” by accusing many its critics of having ties to Russia. “It’s sort of this constant rhetorical tactic to try and insinuate that anyone opposing the Clintons are somehow Russian agents, when it’s the Clintons who actually have a lot of ties to Russia, as well,” Greenwald said. “I mean, the Clinton Foundation and Bill Clinton helped Russian companies take over uranium industries in various parts of the world. He received lots of Russian money for speeches.”

          • MynameisBlarney

            Yet…Bill is not running for prez. nor does he owe Russian Oligarchs a shit ton of moneys.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Over the years, my view of him has gone from principled advocate of human rights to rich pampered white shoe lawyer having a temper tantrum. This year hasn’t changed that.

          • MynameisBlarney

            For real. He totes 180’d.

      • The argument is: US imperialism is the root of all problems in the world ever. Other imperialisms? No problemo. Any shitty stick, even one Putin-shaped, is good to slap Yankee down with. You will note that this bears no resemblence to socialism or liberalism.

    • OneYieldRegular

      I had yet another San Francisco stoner tell me last night that they were voting for Stein. I pointed out that Stein said she preferred Donald Trump to Hillary Clinton, which was enough to convinced said stoner to vote for Hillary Clinton instead.

  • MizzMazz

    I can’t remember who here sent me to this site, but damn, it’s good:

    http://americannewsx.com/

    • UNIT Leftenant Anna

      Our Zombie friend Bub linked to it earlier. It’s a good site. :)

      • MizzMazz

        Well thanks Bub! Now I have another excuse not to clean house :D.

        • UNIT Leftenant Anna

          My official excuse today is “I did some laundry, so tirrrrreeeed.”

          • MizzMazz

            Little history here. I used to be a clean-freak. Now I’m a slob. Old me (younger me) would have not set foot in this house out of disgust. Now me (older me) is becoming disgusted with what hole I’m living in. I have to do some cleaning. We’ve had cleaning people quit, I think because we’re just so dirty, and we paid them a lot to clean this pathetic two bedroom apartment. Imma get off my ass and at least do the floors, or my day will be wasted, but you know I will be back to check in and here for the debate thingy. :D

          • UNIT Leftenant Anna

            I’m way behind myself. Just been so much stress lately. I try to do one job everyday, so it is getting better.

            Good luck, Darlin’, we’ll be here :)

          • MizzMazz

            You’re

  • Lulu Mac
    • AngryKatie

      I’m again questioning whether or not this is a dream nightmare or group hallucination or something. Are we really sure?

      • Lulu Mac
        • AngryKatie

          I’ve mentioned the husband has boycotted all US news for over a year. More and more when I bring something up, or give him background on something he overhears on whatever news I’m watching, he accuses me of making it up.

          • Me The People

            “I’m trying to find the news but it looks like they’re showing some kind of weird spin-off from ‘The Hunger Games’ and Donald Trump is in it”

          • anthrodiva

            He can’t have it both ways. Either he takes your word for it, or he watches himself. Signed, all the wives on the Internet.

      • Sean McLaren

        I keep hope this is going to end like A Midsummer Night’s Dream

        “passing strange”

        • AngryKatie
          • MynameisBlarney

            Holy shit…
            That was one of the best finales EVAR!
            Totes forgot about that.

        • Spotts1701

          Should I check to see if Patrick Duffy is in the shower?

          • Lulu Mac

            Yes, and autistic boys’ snow globes also too…

        • M Dubs

          If we shadows have offended, think on this and all is mended…

          You’ve been paying attention!

    • bubbuhh

      The real nobama has repeatedly told the press that he was BFFs with Gaddafi. Why is his position on Israel, etc a surprise? The press might have gleaned another clue from the fact that The One True Obama has never wanted anything to do with Malik except at family functions.

    • limberrat

      Going for that coveted Hamas demographic eh?

    • beingreleased

      It is entirely possible the Trump campaign did not break out its “extreme vetting” in this instance.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Anything less would be an affront to cosmic orderliness.

      • Shoto

        And comic orderliness, also, too.

    • The Wanderer

      Well, Malik actually has better family values than Trump. Like Donnie, he’s got three wives, but he has his all at the same time.

    • AngryKatie

      Gah! I knew I shouldn’t have read the comments:
      See, Obama is a muslim.
      We knew he was a terrorist.
      Why did the crooked media keep this hidden…

      • Lulu Mac

        NEVER. READ. THE. COMMENTS.

        • Good_Trouble_Yall

          Or. the. bumper. stickers. Especially on pickup trucks.

      • Creepoman

        I made the same fucking mistake . . .

    • Good_Trouble_Yall

      Well, who here hasn’t been completely thrown off her game, reduced to tears, and lost an election due to the presence of the half-brother of someone else sitting in the front row of the final debate? Huh? Answer me that, libtards!

      • AngryKatie

        A local writer that I follow on Twitter had this last night:
        I don’t get it. Is this like inviting Sammy Hagar’s half brother to a Van Halen show to try to rattle David Lee Roth?

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      I wonder how much Trump is paying Malik.

      • M Dubs

        Nothing. He promised to pay Malik, but he’s going to stiff him after the debate because he ‘didn’t do a good job’.

    • M Dubs

      File this report under “Unexpected, but Unsurprising”.

  • Electric Ukulele Land

    Freedom isn’t free… and neither is the wi-fi.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      “As our valued guest, we’re moving you from your 2nd floor room to our new Faraday Suite in the basement” – Ecuador.

      • Sean McLaren

        “Faraday Suite”<—now available at infowars,com

        • Ima Witstüp

          Also the Faraday suit, for days when the foil hat just isn’t enough.

      • Ima Witstüp

        Ah, that would explain why he doesn’t just use the data plan on his phone.

  • Ricky Gay

    wires cut… with scissoring

  • Señor Skwerl King

    I betcha Killery finally got him.

  • SayItWithWookies

    What a pleasant surprise to see a raging douchewhistle lose his internet privileges. It would be a very different civilization were this to catch on.

    • The Wanderer

      Lookin’ at you now, Yiannopoulous [sp].

    • berkeleyfarm

      You got that right.

  • limberrat
    • FDRliberal

      Springsteen: “I don’t think Trump is going to ‘go gently into the good night’…”

      Bruce wins the “Understatement of the Week Award”.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Donald does nothing gently. He does it hugely, bigly, whether it’s grabbing pussies, fucking over contractors, or destroying his own brand.

    • aureolaborealis

      * go gentle into that good night.

      I’m sorry, The Boss, but I can’t help myself.

      I think we are now seeing Trump begin to “rage, rage against the dying of the light.” Also: Burning and raving. Shitloads of burning and raving.

      • OneYieldRegular

        No, no. Trump is raging against the light itself, like a moth trying to tackle a 100-watt bulb.

  • M Dubs

    Anybody taking odds that Trump uses this story as ammunition tonight? Or will he stick to attacking his pussy-grabbed accusers (because they’re the ones distracting us from the issues) and using Malick Obama as ammunition against Hillary… for some reason.

    • Catstro

      The Obama invite just makes no sense. It’s like Donald can’t accept the fact that he’s going up against a woman, so he’s choosing to go hard against men who aren’t actually up for the job at the expense of attacking her effectively.

      • Good_Trouble_Yall

        It’s just further proof, as if we needed any, that Trumplethinskin cannot give up his blind hatred of and rage at Obama for making fun of him. He’ll carry this feud to his tomb. He really seems to have utterly forgotten, or discounted, that his opponent in this is NOT Obama.

        • Catstro

          If you didn’t add in the stuff about Bill, I would think that was what it was all about, but I’m still going with a main course of misogyny served with a large side of Obama rage.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        He’s been told he’s losing to a girl, and his response is fingers in his ears, “I can’t hear you”, and finding the true powers who are thwarting him, and attacking them.

        Donald, the phone calls are coming from inside your penthouse apartment.

        • Kooolest G

          the fingers in the ears thing only works if you have fingers big enough to block the holes

      • M Dubs

        I think the logic here is that Clinton = 4 more years of Obama (Oh Gods if only that were true), therefore by the transitive property critics of Obama = critics of Clinton.

        Quod Erat Demonstrandum Ergo Proxy Hoctor Proctor.

        • The Wanderer

          Hodor?

          • M Dubs

            Hey. Too soon, buddy.

          • Catstro

            Hey there fast fingers

          • M Dubs

            Sorry. Didn’t mean to one-up the fuzziest wuzziest dictator of a Carribbean nation.

          • Catstro

            :purrs:

          • Catstro

            Too soon

          • Shoto

            Wait: I thought “Hodor” was what Kellyanne Conway uses to get into the teevee studios?

        • mardam422

          Jiggery pokery hocus pocus?

        • Shoto

          “I think the logic here is that Clinton = 4 more years of Obama…”

          And that he’s gone quite completely bonkers.

      • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

        Trump is still worried about the possibility that Obama will take advantage of Hillary’s inevitable, sudden, post election fatal illness by defying the 22nd Amendment and serving a third term with the complicity of the MSM. Alex Jones explained it to him. Malik is there to let Obama know that he has it all figured out.

        • M Dubs

          Woah. I thought this election was completely insane, but this narrative completely re-contextualizes things for me.

          Consider me woke, yo.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Kelly Ann Conway said Trump has a 5 point strategy to “defeat Islam”.

    • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

      We’re at war with Islam now?

      • Me The People

        Yeah, WTF.

      • Kooolest G

        we have always been at war with east islam

    • The Wanderer

      So, um, Five Pillars?

    • Shoto

      Is that sorta like a thousand points of light, only 995 less, and with moar extra racism?

      • beavertank

        Trump isn’t bright enough to pull off a thousand points, he can apparently manage five… And even then they’re quite dim.

    • M Dubs

      1. Moar torture!
      2. Kill the families of terrorists!
      3. All Muslims are terrorists right?
      4. Make Muslim countries pay us for killing off their Muslims terrorists. With their sweet sweet oil.
      5. Fix our ‘crumbling’ military by gilding all our aircraft carriers in gold. Gold is classy as s#%t, yo.

      Also too, this five point plan is graded out of a possible 100 points.

      • The Wanderer

        We can’t gild the aircraft carriers. We’re going to need that gold for the ‘glitter guns’ required to defeat the Cybermen.

        • UNIT Leftenant Anna

          “Here at UNIT, we are prepared for *every* contingency.”

          • Longstreet63

            Even the…Sexy Ones?

          • UNIT Leftenant Anna

            “Dear Fellow, *especially* the Sexy Ones.’ Quartemaster? What is our current supply of condoms, Flavored Lubricant, and Breath mints?”

          • Longstreet63

            I presume we are also stocked up on rum and The Lash?

          • UNIT Leftenant Anna

            “Very forward-thinking, Sarnt! After all, The Doctor shall be accompanied by Captain Jack Harkness today. Happily, my uniform-of-the-day includes my garter belt and fishnet stockings.”

          • Longstreet63

            Excellent work.
            However, I am, in fact, a major general.
            Of course, the army in question being defunct, it kind of evens out.
            Sergeant Major, perhaps?

          • UNIT Leftenant Anna

            Regimental Sergeant Major, even! In Britain, RSMs are Warrant Officers, so you shall be MR. Longstreet, RSM of the United Nations Intelligence Taskforce, by order of Anna. :)

          • Longstreet63

            Done! By tradition, I shall now respond to all questions with “Sah!” Regardless of subject, rank, or gender.

          • UNIT Leftenant Anna

            Very good, Mr. Longstreet. Exactly as tradition stipulates. :)

            (I knew that, Darlin’, but it’s very sweet of you to note it ~hugs~)

            Mr. Longstreet! Are the troops ready for the task that awaits us?

          • Longstreet63

            Sah!
            Inspect the soldiers’ dinner, Sah?

          • UNIT Leftenant Anna

            Yes, thank you Mister Longstreet. Let’s be about it.

      • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

        “5. Fix our ‘crumbling’ military by gilding all our aircraft carriers in gold. Gold is classy as s#%t, yo.”

        Also corrosion resistant. Saves money on painting ’em.

        • Longstreet63

          Probably also a cost savings over the normal procurement process.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Part of the five point plan, I’m sure, is “Take the Oil” as if you could actually do such a thing, but the details of reality are not Donald’s concern.

    • Daisy

      Oh boy. He’s gonna make her Secretary of State, isn’t he?

    • beavertank

      Step one: Aggressively spray tan.
      Step two: Reinvigorate white nationalism.
      Step three and four: ???
      Step five: Lose the election.

      It’s brilliant!

      • berkeleyfarm

        Step three: ???
        Step four: PROFIT!!1!

    • btwbfdimho

      Did she really say to “defeat Islam”? islam has 1.6 billion followers…which probably make it more popular than Miles Cyrus around the world. So, how?

    • Major_Major_Major

      Point 1: Make America Great Again
      Point 2-5: See Point 1

    • Longstreet63

      I’m sure one of them is “A renewable energy program to replace petroleum as the world’s main energy source”.

    • btwbfdimho

      Easy:
      1. Open a Trump Mekka Hotel
      2. Brand the new Trump As-salame alaykum with logo featuring Gov. Christie
      3. Brand Trump-Medina mAl-Bec wines
      4. Brand Exclusive 2016 Collection Ivanka Burkinis
      5. File for alaykum salame bankruptcy

  • Shoto

    Hey Assange: Your AOL account says, “You ain’t got no mail.”

    • Catstro

      “You’ve got fail”

  • Me The People

    “Windows has detected that you are too much of a shitty little douchebag to use this connection, and that you should fuck off”

    • beavertank

      “Now here’s Clippy to add insult to injury.”

  • bubbuhh

    Trump going for a new look tonight to attract the undecided vote.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7817b02ab1a7c4bb4b4da1f00828bb6ee9d3b9525974bf30da8ea969e12f08d8.jpg
    Big Smile that.

    • Me The People

      A ‘new’ look you say?

      • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

        Isn’t there something a little bit different about the nose? And I don’t remember Donnie’s teeth being quite so sharp.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Well, he’s always saying he wants to be himself at these events. :)

  • Bub the Leftwing Zombie
  • beavertank

    Maybe Ecuador turned off the wifi at Jill Stein’s urging because she was afraid Assange’s weird behavior was the result of a wifi induced brain tumor.

    She’s just woo-woo worried about him!

  • RugzYaBurnt

    So the embassy cut of his Interwebs & that’s it? Does this mean he can still plug in his laptop at the Starbucks down the road?

    • The Wanderer

      If he steps out to Starbucks, the UK police will nab his ass.

      • Catstro

        I don’t know yaburnt’s history, so I may be making assumptions about their snark level, but…
        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a78b91bc3efa138938a52d0cd2f6dafb514c1348802c6f0f53aa7b92d37a51e3.png

        • Snark Tank of Deplorables
          • Catstro

            Please clap is my favorite thing to come out of this election. I will never tire of it and vow to use it long after everyone has forgotten this past godforesaken year.

          • https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EbTcHpPDCu8

            This is my favorite thing from this election cycle – thanks to Sam Bee for digging it up. But Please Clap is a close second.

          • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

            Between Jeb! and Billy, it has not been a good year to be a Bush. Methinks Bar will be giving a few people the rough side of her tongue at Thanksgiving, even before she cracks the third bottle of Dubonnet…

          • Charles Wolf

            Really?
            I vote for “Grab them by the Pussy” because it’s a twofer.
            GTBTP has sunk the Trumptanic…
            ,,, and permanently taken out a Billy Bush.

          • Catstro

            Personally, I’ll be cool if I never hear “grab them by the pussy” again, ever. This election season has been brutal and just so…heavy. I don’t need another reminder of how much misogyny still exists in our culture.

            A lighthearted reminder of how pathetic Jeb Bush is? Yes, please.

          • Charles Wolf

            Yes,,, and on November 8th “GTBTP” will take its place in history books alongside “I am not a crook”, “I did not trade arms for hostages”, “I did not have sex with that woman.” “Compassionate Conservatism”, and “Please Clap”.

            Till then you make sure every voter you know – learns, and doesn’t forget about Pussygate.

          • cynmac’s pussy

            My favorite moment was Melania stealing Michelle Obama’s speech.

    • GoutMachine

      Only if he wants the Metropolitan Police to haul him off to an extradition hearing.

  • GoutMachine

    Fucker still hasn’t mowed the lawn or taken out the recycling!

    • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

      And you do NOT want to know what his room looks like…

  • Joe Beese
    • The Wanderer

      And that, my dears, is how you take a machete to someone.

    • Shoto

      CONway got in a snit about the question. However, the question was both fair and long overdue.

      • M Dubs

        Kellyanne Conway seems more and more exasperated to me. I can perfectly imagine her mumbling to herself after each interview that “I didn’t sign up for this shit!”

        I would consider feeling bad for her, but by the time she joined the campaign we were all well aware of the kind of man Trump is. This is her cross to bear.

    • Lulu Mac

      Let me guess…Joy Reid? Lady’s got sass…

    • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

      She shows them the post-dated cheque Trump wrote her, and says “Just a few more weeks now kids – then we’re going to Disneyworld!”

      • Lulu Mac

        Assuming the check clears…

        • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

          She has high hopes!

          • H0mer0

            and a rubber tree plant?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Link?

      I mean, her kids’ daddy is Paula Jones’ lawyer and they’re all Yankees fans so I’m sure they think she’s awesome, but I’d like to see her face while it sinks in that everyone else’s children think something entirely different.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Looks like the whining is catching

      “When there are six people corroborating the People magazine story you still say her word against his?” said [MSNBC’s Stephanie] Ruhle. “You’ve got to look at your kids when you go home at night.”

      “Stephanie, that’s not fair. I mean, I get that from a lot of childless people worrying about my kids but…,” Conway protested.

      “No. But you know why?” said Ruhle. “I’m not going to let my kids watch the debate tonight. I don’t let my kids watch Donald Trump.”

      “But then they get to watch Hillary Clinton?” said Conway.

      Ruhle said she doesn’t want her children to be watching “in fear that he will say to a woman in the audience, ‘You’re fat.’ In fear that he’ll make fun of someone with special needs. I don’t ever want my kids to say that.”

  • FDRliberal

    “Ecuador Grounds Julian Assange From Internet For Being Raging Douchewhistle
    Read more at http://wonkette.com/607728/ecuador-grounds-julian-assange-from-internet-for-being-raging-douchewhistle#WU6ossm73Laq0DJl.99

    The is bad news for the Alt-Right mob. The Deplorables were hoping their new hero, Julian Assange, would rescue the Mango Mussolini’s dumpster fire campaign with a tremendous, big league Clinton scandal.

    • Shoto

      Yup. Now, if only more damning revelations about the unhinged orange man-baby get released so as to drive the final nails into his electoral coffin.

  • Joshua Norton

    The really fun part is that he can’t even go storming off to his room screaming “You’re not the boss of me.” because they kinda are.

  • bubbuhh
  • Kooolest G

    I hope the british govt says “ok ecuador, you can’t fuck with our boy julian. for that we are kicking all of your diplomats out of the UK.” then the Ecuadorian embassy staff will hop in a cab and go to the airport. meanwhile they shut off the power and water to the embassy and wait for assange to come out so they can extradite him to sweden. once he does they call ecuador and say, alright guys you can come back now

    • MamaBrown

      The mental picture of Assange, prowling the cold, dark hallways of the embassy, opening cans in the kitchen, and eventually eating toilet paper makes my cold black heart glad.

  • You’d think Assange was hosting Wikileaks on a private server in his bathroom.

    • Courser

      He’s not??

      • Nah, he’d have to pay for the business plan to get a fixed IP address, and the guy has been unemployed for years.

    • phoenix00

      His IT tech is under FBI investigation.

  • Y’know, there’s no one actually stopping Assange from taking his laptop to a nearby coffee shop and using their wireless.

  • AnneBonny

    Duh, they did it because Assange is THE WORLD’S WORST HOUSE GUEST and probably is driving everyone in the embassy nuts.

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2011/03/julian_assange_scrouge_of_gove.html

  • Me not sure
    • H0mer0

      “Headley!”

  • Carpe Vagenda

    And, the take our word for it campaign has found a new accuser for Bill. Incredibly weirdly, NY Magazine is hosting this story on their fashion site.

    • JHan

      I’m waiting for the link between STone and Wiki to come to light.

      waiting.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        You mean, other than the thing where he said they were connected?

    • M Dubs

      This does not look good for Bill Clinton’s election chances.

    • M Dubs

      This puts me in a weird situation. I don’t want to victim-shame or deny the potential abuse that she suffered. But she broke this story to Breitbart, and because I dive into their nightmarish rabbit-hole on occasion I’m inclined to take this with a grain of salt. Or possibly a whole salt shaker.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        There are things about her story which seem to me to be counterintuitive, inconsistent with the details of past accusations we know to be true, and weirdly tailored to mirror the stories of Trump’s accusers. Obviously I have no idea what actually happened.

        • M Dubs

          Exactly. My point here isn’t to claim that she’s lying, but that we should wait and see. More facts will come in.

  • Jen B_VA

    Was I the only one who started snickering at the line where Ecuador has a tradition of defending civil rights and protecting political prisoners?

    • Catstro

      It was less a snicker and more of a punctuated “ha!”, but no

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Protect them in solitary confinement. For their own good.

  • zerosumgame0005

    what I heard is that he needs an MRI for an on-going medical issue but the UK will not assure him they will not arrest his skanky ass if he goes to a hospital. up to him if he will continue being a scared bunny afraid to face his actions or not. Also any word on the 8 year old he supposedly was “grooming”?

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Something tells me this might backfire on Trump…

      • M Dubs

        I dunno. Does adding more backfire to a blazing inferno really make a difference?

        • Rachel Book Harlot

          I wish I could enjoy it more, but I’m still too scared. Can’t wait for this election to be over.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Or, if it doesn’t backfire on Trump, that may backfire on Kushner and Adelson. I’m open to that too.

      • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

        I don’t think this is going to help with keeping Sheldon Adelson aboard the Trump Express…

    • Jennaratrix

      He seems nice.

    • phoenix00

      A Trump sympathizer also sympathetic to a terrorist organization? UNPOSSIBLE.

  • tihond

    Ecuador should just change the password to “ImWithHer.”

  • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

    So how long does someone get to live in an embassy? Can I send my brother there? Does my sister can’t take any more of my bullshit count as political asylum???

    • Claire

      That embassy would be filled with brothers as far as the eye could see. They’d have to use Uruguay as a spillover facility.

  • Crank Tango

    He really should get out and get some sun.

  • Mavenmaven

    I guess Rafael Correa isn’t that fond of leaked documents these days. Also, he owes Hillary a big favor.

  • (((parkii)))

    Not having interwebz might be the thing that finally drives him the rest of the way over the edge. I don’t feel nearly as bad about that as I ought to.

    In somewhat related news, this guy is my new emailghazi hero: http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2016/10/larry-lessig-has-a-very-good-attitude.html?mid=fb-share-di

    • Carpe Vagenda

      inorite? He even seems to have convinced the guy who wrote the article, who’s been relaying every ‘scandalous’ tidbit he can get his hands on since this thing started.

      • H0mer0

        he is right; most of us would be better off not knowing how people that we don’t care much about think about us. It’s like reading the comments in Yahoo (which esplains why they are called Yahoos.) Besides, if the shoe fits, wear it.

    • jmk

      That’s absolutely perfect.

      • CripesAmighty

        Yup. Shorter: “Family squabble. Mind your own business.”

    • YoBunnyBunny

      “But Lessig’s reaction is plainly correct. People have a right to say mean things about other people in private. Let he who has not sent a needlessly catty email about a friend, ex-lover, co-worker, or long-shot presidential candidate start the Twitter shaming.”

      Killary gets privacy to say bad thing but Trump cant have locker room chat about WOMEN!111/.1!!!! MEDIAS RIGGED and IN THE TANK FOR KILLARY!!!!1!1! KILLARY also listens to RACIST EVIL-YONCE music, too!11!!1 U liebruls R HIPPOCRITS!!!!!11

      (How’s my Wingnutese???)

      • (((parkii)))

        Pretty good!

      • Jennaratrix

        Eh, too obvious. The key is to sound mostly sane at first, slowly descending into badly-spelled, overly punctuated madness. Preferably over several (non) comments.

      • Sid Pevear

        For a second there I thought I was reading a transcript from Alex Jones show.

  • ken_kukec

    Now, if Ecuador changes the locks on the embassy johns, Assange won’t be able to take a leak, either.

  • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

    ‘You’re not the ambassador of me! I’m going to live with my friend Eric! HIS folks have FiOS!’

  • M Dubs

    OT: I descended an escalator to check in with Dead Breitbart’s House of Horrors, and found an interesting syngergy with some of their headlines.

    Their main article at the moment is titled – Rigged: Corporate Media Declare Victory for Hillary Clinton Weeks Before Election

    But slightly downpage is an article deftly entitled – Fight Night: Trump Will Win the Third Debate. Will It Matter?

    Breitbart really hates it when people call results in advance, unless it’s them doing it. Linkies not included out of fear that some unfortunate soul might click on them.

  • “You’re not my real dad, Ecuador!”

    • this just made me do a spit take after the fucking debates.

      cheers!

  • azeyote

    is there like some kinda secret, exclusive, fascist, rapist club that these guys belong to?

    • M Dubs

      4chan?

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Let’s see. What bunch of assholes lives by the rule, you can’t do anything to my body ever, but I can do whatever I want to yours?

    • phoenix00

      Reddit
      Breitbart
      Stormfront

  • Idaho4644

    I see this guy’s name and I think “ass sponge”… I have no idea what that is but it sounds really gross

    • phoenix00

      A tampon for the back end?

      ¯_(ツ)_/¯

  • sincarne
    • phoenix00

      3) might just be the easiest.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Ecuador gets something along the lines of $30mil ameros from the US. Nice guy community organizer Obama was not likely to shut off the spigot. Kick ’em in the nuts Killary won’t be so patient. Look for Rapey Assbunge to be doing the perp walk to an extradition hearing by January.

    • dshwa

      I doubt it. Assange is really small potatoes in everyone’s mind but his own. He’ll just be one more one more person ranting about corrupt Clintons and their death squads who never disappears

  • Scooby

    Y tambien no postre para ti!

  • lucidamente

    Start here:

    1. This statement by the government of Ecuador reflects the country's longstanding policy (and that of most Latin American nations)… https://t.co/81MqLWlZbq— Al Giordano (@AlGiordano) October 18, 2016

    • Sister Artemis

      Dear Mr. Assange, please do not run your attempted upset of a foreign nation’s electoral process from inside the sanctuary we have granted you. Thanks, Equador.

      Shorter: Don’t be a dick, Julian.

  • Jennaratrix

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! He just got treated like my KID when he doesn’t do his chores!
    *giggle* *snort* This is fucking hilarious.

  • Wildkitty

    POOOOOOORRRRR Julian!

  • I Am Helpy
    • dshwa

      For people who claim to love the Constitution they really have no idea how it works.

    • phoenix00

      The amendments apply in Ecuador? WHOA IF TRUE.

  • Fallulah

    Wow. You wonketters are REALLY in the bag for $hillary eh? Hate whisleblowers as much as her too now…the light of truth will always come out. No matter how much Hillary and her supporters want to keep it in the shadows to pretend they are supporting an honest candidate.

    • WomanInAMood

      Hello! And this site was about 50-50 Bernie/Hillz.

    • alnnc

      Except for the fact that all of these leaked emails have shown nothing illegal or unethical. Just fodder for the right wing nuts to spin and distort. Even some of the headline segments are disproven by the limited email fragments released. I’m already seeing comments in the local media sites stating as fact that Clinton said she has nothing in common with the average citizen, when actually she says nothing of the sort when you read the actual email section posted. Yet these same people think that Trump, who really does have nothing in common with, and absolutely no interest in the problems of the average citizen will save them and get those high paying, unskilled jobs that they pay 50 cents an hour for in Cambodia to come back to the US. Besides how much money he can bilk from them. It has nothing to do with whistle blowers. It has to do with the deplorables and the people that feed them the lies and innuendo that they accept as facts. And the media that can’t tell the difference.

    • dshwa

      Does going4baroque know you stole his nonsensical schtick?

    • BearLeft

      … and the rock from which you crawled out under.

    • Left Coast Tom

      You mean John Podesta’s risotto recipe wasn’t honest? What makes risotto “honest”?

      • jesus christ i MADE that risotto recipe.

        i am doomed.

    • taco truck vagenda

      Non-ironic use of $hillary! Drink!

      • HooverVilles

        I haven’t seen the use of the $Hillary/Shillary/Killary/Hitllary as hominems in a while. The desperation must be really sinking in.

    • phoenix00

      Light of truth WILL? I wonder when and why it’s taking so long?

      Or are you the type who demands a refund when the pizza boy’s 2 mins late?

    • berkeleyfarm

      Hello new friend! And bless your heart.

    • puipui

      Oh, but I love whistleblowers! I just hate lying shitbag rapist assholes who take money from foreign countries to try to influence our elections in ways that benefit their buyer, and who also hole up in random embassies to escape rape charges while claiming to be a hero and possibly committing child sexual assault over the internet.

      Guess which one of those descriptions best fits Julian Assange! Here, I’ll give you a hint: it’s not the whistleblower one!

  • arundel

    I get twitchy when my Internet is down for fifteen minutes. This shall surely drive Assange (even more) insane.

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