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The Sarah Palin Farknocker Report, Presented By Fartknocker
HI IT’S ME PREZNIT SARAH! BRINGIN YOU A TACO BELL SUPREME! Oh, a court? SUPREME COURT!

Hey, remember when Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia woke up dead from the pillow Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama took turns stuffing over his face? And remember how all of a sudden the Republican-held Senate was like NEW RULE! BLACK PRESIDENTS ONLY GET TO NOMINATE SUPREME COURT JUSTICES IN THE FIRST SEVEN-EIGHTHS OF THEIR TERM?

Yeah, it was a Seven-Eighths Compromise. See, black people? PROGRESS!

Well, we have all been having a good laugh about how President Hillary Clinton will rescind Barack Obama’s nomination of Judge Merrick Garland and nominate Barack Obama to the Supreme Court instead! Oh, wouldn’t that just chap their little Republican baby bottoms fierce!

Luckily, Senator John McCain has come to the rescue, sexplaining that not only do black presidents only get a seven year term instead of eight, but since the Founders didn’t want women represented at all, a lady president can nominate NO Supreme Court justices!

Take it away, John McCain!

“I promise you that we will be united against any Supreme Court nominee that Hillary Clinton, if she were president, would put up,” McCain said. “I promise you. This is where we need the majority and Pat Toomey is probably as articulate and effective on the floor of the Senate as anyone I have encountered.”

You’d be united against ANY nominee, John McCain? What if the nominee were JOHN MCCAIN?

(Dear Hillary Clinton, please do not nominate to the Supreme Court John McCain.)

So there you have it. The Supreme Court is already crippled by its inability to decide any cases due to its four-four ideological tie. And John McCain is perfectly happy to let EVERYONE ON IT DIE without any replacement! Not even Keifer Sutherland on that show, about everyone in the government dying except Keifer Sutherland! Because John McCain has not done enough to the nation already.

John McCain: Straight Talk Maverick, maverickin’ it up with his straight talk, puttin’ country ahead of party except maybe just this once, because he is a dick.

[CNN]

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  • Yr. Gma

    Poor old guy has finally lost it and now walking around telling the truth in public.

  • Nounverb911

    What makes McCain think he’s still going to be a Senator after the election?

  • Oblios_Cap

    It’s taking to long for the GOP to kill itself off.

  • weejee

    And now I can hit Walnutz over the head with votes, as a package was just delivered containing the Official Wonket Elections of the USA game. Whoopee!

  • Mpeg

    He seems bitter.

    • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

      ya think?

  • Even John McCain knows that John McCain would be dangerously unqualified for the Supreme Court…

  • JVisconti

    “This vacancy should not be filled until we have a new President,” according to a statement McConnell released.
    McConnell who?, says Sen Grumpy.

    • FauxAntocles

      McConnell, who’s been living in his shell for 3 months.

  • UNIT Leftenant Anna

    John McCain – a sad example of what happens when your colon conquers your cranium.

  • Creepoman

    John McCain’t.

  • Oneofthebobs

    Another Republican who promises not to do his job. What a surprise. The solution may be hard, but at least it’s simple.

    • therblig

      Another Republican who promises not to do his job so he can keep his job.

  • Nounverb911
    • boyblue122

      His best shot at winning back his senate seat was to stay quiet. Now everyone voting for Hillary will most definitely be voting straight democrats down ballot

    • OneYieldRegular

      If I refused to do my job the way the Republicans in Congress refuse to do theirs, I’d be canned in a heartbeat.

  • Oblios_Cap

    McCain, like most Repubs, is a good example of how a mind is a terrible thing to waste.

    • Tallmutha

      “What a waste it is to lose one’s mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.”

    • Seek

      Assumes facts not in evidence. Second to last in his graduating class. He only made it out because of his dad the Admiral.

  • TellMeImDreaming

    They’d rather destroy the Governement than let people benefit from it.

    • TJ Barke

      Well yeah, government can be utilized by the public to ward off depredation by private power. Can’t be having none of that.

    • HogeyeGrex

      than let other people benefit from it.

      fixed for extra griftyness.

  • FauxAntocles

    Partei über alles!

  • FlownOver

    “McCain added that the Senate would oppose any Supreme Court nominee Hillary Clinton puts up.”

    “Added”? ADDED????

    Jeebus on a cheese pizza!1!! Has CNN ever buried a lede this badly???

  • elviouslyqueer

    Breaking news: John McCain: Still America’s Chafed Bunghole.

    Also too, OTHER BREAKING NEWS: Shepard Smith comes out as gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay.

    • UNIT Leftenant Anna

      Quelle Suprise

      He only came out to defend Ailes the Hutt, though.

    • dslindc

      And Josh Barro finally decided to stop being a Republican.

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        Officially became a Dem — he had been a NOT Republican for a long time. Oh, and I have a crush on him.

        • dslindc

          Fair point. I have a bit of a crush on him, also too.

    • TJ Barke

      No shit?!

      • elviouslyqueer

        And millions of queers everywhere simultaneously said, “Gurl, ’bout damn time.”

        • UNIT Leftenant Anna

          Yeah. XD I didn’t need a wizard on the Gaydar console to identify that contact.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Isn’t he, like, the solitary voice of reason over at Fox News? He was sort of their token sane reporter, if I recall correctly (I don’t watch a lot of Fox).

      • kareemachan

        I’m not sure if “voice of reason” and Faux Noise go together….

    • FlownOver

      Shy Little Possum unlikely to anchor the Trumpster “News” Network.

    • Shawn Renee Ernoehazy

      Let me put on my big “surprised” face! I honestly thought this was already common knowledge

    • Redgyal

      Ailes gave him a loving embrace.

    • janecita

      No shit Sherlock! Seriously though, I thought that he had been out for years. Wasn’t he on the power list on Out Magazine like for five years in a row?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I don’t think it was ever official

  • Count Awesome

    “If Congress doesn’t work, why not make it so 2 out of the branches that don’t work?”
    –Repubs

  • h4rr4r

    If president Clinton does not nominate Barack Obama to the supreme court, she is wasting a huge opportunity.

    • I’d rather have him around as an elder statesman who can actually speak his mind. I’d LOVE to see Harold Koh on the court. He’d be the first Asian Supreme.

      • h4rr4r

        He would never be confirmed.
        This is just for maximum trolling.

    • Redgyal

      And wasting his time.

    • SeekingBarbie

      Sorry, he’s already said he has other plans.

      • h4rr4r

        I am not sure how that enters into it?
        She can nominate who she likes, they will never confirm him anyway.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Michelle.

  • BMW

    I am looking forward to the lame duck session when, faced with the prospect of Clinton and a Democratic Senate in a few months, quickly approves Judge Garland’s appointment.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      All of the federal judge appointments they’ve been stonewalling go back to a clean slate at the beginning of the next administration, so a Clinton win will result in an assembly line of confirmations during the lame duck sessions.

      • BMW

        I don’t kkow if I follow…it’d depend on the ideological acceptability of each individual appointment, i.e. “could Clinton appoint someone less acceptable than the person already nominated”?

    • HogeyeGrex

      I’m looking forward to Obama pulling the nomination so they have to deal with Hillz’ choice. Garland isn’t exactly a lefty. While eminently qualified, and undoubtedly a fine human being, a large part of why he was chosen was to be a compromise that might get a hearing. How’d that work out for you, Barack?

  • Vincent Ricola

    If I were an 80-year-old zillionaire John McCain, I’d probably step out of the game now. It’s been a nice run, but at this point, the Illuminati retirement island should start looking better than playing a sub to crazy old Donald Trump and the Gross Old Party. No ageist, just sayin.

  • Callyson

    “I promise you that we will continue to throw temper tantrums and prevent anyone that Hillary Clinton, if she were president, would put up to do the fucking job of serving this nation’s interests,” McCain said.

    /fixed
    /FFS

  • DainBramage

    What part of Advise and Consent means holding positions open just because a political opponent makes the nomination? If a Dem Senate did this, they’d be crucified daily by the media.

    • Usedtobeyellerdawg

      Wait, is this the same media that is daily ignoring Hillary’s foibles to vilify Trump? Even their bias is two-faced.

  • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

    Good Dog I hope this crusty old fuck loses.

  • kindness

    So John McCain just announced the end of the filibuster in the Senate for Supreme Court nominees….Thanks John. I figured it was coming. I just didn’t know it was going to be right away. Good to know.

  • dslindc

    This isn’t good news for John McCain.

    Also, fuck you, John McCain!

    • NationalGalleryofClipArt

      I wish I could both up & downvote this.

  • bubbuhh

    McCain is a stoopit stoopit man with pottymouth disease.

  • Mpeg

    Does this display of petulant bafflegab mean also he’d refuse to stand and/ or applaud when President H.R. Clinton enters the house or chamber for delivering State of the Union, etc — i.e. those occasions whereby one expects Senator Crankypants has been doing routine legislative stuff for this long without turning into a complete sourpuss?

    • Mezzaluna

      He has contracted chronic Get Off My Lawn syndrome. There is no known cure and it can only be treated with retirement, grand children and good booze.

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    I mean, it’s not like this isn’t the logical conclusion of what the Repubs have been doing all year. That said, any senate Democrat who doesn’t slap this on their ads for the next month should be shot at the moon.

  • Michael Smith

    Its over Republicans. The Reagan Revolution, the Silent Majority, all of it – its done. Let it go. The American people are becoming less hateful, and you are dying. We don’t mistake all the noise you are making for a resurgence. It’s death throes.

    With votes. Literally, this time.

    • Usedtobeyellerdawg

      Insha’Noodle.

      • Michael Smith

        Haha.. is that like Insha’Allah but with the Flying Spaghetti Monster?

        • Usedtobeyellerdawg

          I was being saucy.

    • aureolaborealis

      Correct. I’ve been thinking that this is what the end game looks like. In chess, jujitsu, etc., when it becomes clear to the meanest intellect that losing is about to happen, you start seeing this random thrashing about, trying to overcome the overwhelming strategic and tactical deficit with energetic chaos. This is what I choose to believe is happening to the GOP right now. (Let’s just hope that what replaces them isn’t far worse.)

  • Belasaurius

    In other news, the chicken I left thawing in the sink is mysteriously missing.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/35890927f9e8bad1016e2f71d3e936891bbcc5d72886a2b37edc6956afcb8d81.jpg

    • DainBramage

      “The cat ate it. I swear. Woof!”

    • Oblios_Cap

      How could that be with your dog watching it? If we only had a clue…

    • BeachBum

      IKR, I hate when that happens. Esp pizza.

      • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

        One pleasant winter day I had just finished cooking a mini pizza and was looking forward to a tasty lunch. It almost didn’t happen because one of the ratties, who was playing on the back of the couch, jumped onto my lap and tried to steal the whole thing off my plate. If it hadn’t outweighed her by about 50% she would have got away with it, too.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Oh yes, the look. I’m familiar with that look. The “I don’t know what happened to those hard-boiled eggs you left on the table to make your salad sandwich with” look. Good luck.

    • UNIT Leftenant Anna

      Oh no!

      XD Caption this photo: “I don’t know anything about any chicken.”

    • bubbuhh

      know what breed of dog can climb?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbR8Vj11Bq0

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Frightening beasts, they are. Masses of quivering muscle.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I had one of my dogs actually climb a fence and walk along that 2×4 at the top like a cat- except she was about 65-70 lbs (she also used to go up any ladders left untended and get on the roof of the house)

        • bobbert

          Elkhounds. They climb like goats.

    • What a good dog!

    • anon_the_great

      But the dog is fed. At least until he goes outside and barfs the whole thing up. Then eats it again.

      So, delivery Pizza?

      • Usedtobeyellerdawg

        Nah. The dog’s pretty full now. He doesn’t need any pizza.

        • anon_the_great

          You’re right. A Kitty Roca palate cleaner is much more in order.

        • SeekingBarbie

          Hahahaha!! You people made me laugh so hard my sides hurt.

    • aureolaborealis

      “Hey. HEY! Just look into my eyes. My innocent, innocent eyes. Also, notice that I’m not even touching that yellow thing, which may or may not have anything to do with your original question. Just. Look. Into. My. Eyes. We’ll get through this together.”

    • Mezzaluna

      Wow! He (she) even ate part of the styrofoam tray. That’s a tummy ache in the making. You were nice enough to leave the boneless breasts out though. No need to worry about crunchy little bones getting stuck.

      • rebecca

        they’re fine raw; it’s cooked that splinters and kills you

        • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

          You’ve convinced me – I won’t eat any cooked chicken bones from now on!

    • taco truck vagenda

      “I ask you: Is this the face of a chicken-thief?”

      • deanbooth

        Judge: Are you the defendant?
        Dog: Nope. I’m the one done stole the chicken.

    • Thiazin Red

      One of my mother’s dogs ate an entire Sam’s Club sized package of pork chops that were thawing on a counter. She clumsily tried to frame the other dog by putting the package in her bed, but no one was buying it.

    • Shibusa

      Maybe it was Tank:
      https://youtu.be/PuA6ZjpEJys

    • janecita

      Your dog is so adorable!

    • PLAINTOM

      Billy Bush made me do it.

      • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

        ‘I didn’t eat that chicken! I was grabbing some pussy at the time!’

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      “Chicken thieves again, maw!”

  • Count Awesome

    McCain is just cranky because he hasn’t had his Depends changed since Trump won the nomination.

    • Nounverb911

      David Vitter’s looking for a new job….

  • chascates

    Isn’t it about time to have an age at which Congress critters must retire?

    • Count Awesome

      He’s ready to go off and play with other old at the glue factory.

    • anon_the_great

      The Founding Fathers thought of that and called it elections.

    • Callyson
    • PubOption

      I hope they don’t use Strom Thurmond as a precedent.

    • HogeyeGrex

      As they say, politicians and diapers should be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

  • Nounverb911

    Trump seems to be working at home today, supervising Melania’s interview with Anderson Cooper…

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/788098066075230208

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      It’s almost like threatening them to their faces will turn the media against you.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      And in a completely unrelated correlation, almost 100% of journalists are college-educated, literate, aware of the issues, and understand the difference between facts and lies.

      • ahughes798

        Too bad 100% of them never heard the term “false equivalency.”

        • HogeyeGrex

          Never heard? Hell, it’s their core competency.

          • ahughes798

            It IS their core competency…but because of the Fox News Effect, they don’t even realise that they’re doing it. More likely they do, but I’m a horrible cynic.

    • bubbuhh

      Cuz journalists are loaded!

    • limberrat

      Such low energy, is he dying?

    • beingreleased

      I’m guessing there is no source for this. Wasn’t Olberman kicked off of MSNBC for donating to political campaigns?

      • Nounverb911

        Just suspended for a week.

        • beingreleased

          Fine, but the point was that it’s unethical for journalists to be donating to the politicians they cover. So this “fact” is almost definitely bogus, unless the journalists they’re considering are the food reporters and others not involved in political reporting.

          • Big Boppa

            …it’s unethical for journalists to be donating to the politicians they cover.

            Unless the journalist is named Scarborough.

          • HogeyeGrex

            Wasn’t it Moyers who didn’t even vote because you had to stand in the Dem or Rep line to get your ballot so everybody knew how everyone voted in his town?

    • boyblue122

      Its probably because the media likes the 1st amendment and doesnt want to be put on Trump’s media blacklist

    • elviouslyqueer

      Shouldn’t you be throwing more gasoline on that dumpster fire, Donald? I mean, it’s not gonna flame up by itself.

    • mackafritz

      He obviously didn’t write this. It doesn’t say Crooked Hillary.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Must be the iphone.

    • DainBramage

      Because journalists are private citizens as well. They can see how stupendously awful Trump is.

    • Msgr_Trump_has_killed_satire

      How precious. Public Integrity, which uses the term “the nation’s left coast” in its third paragraph, is wringing its pearls about journalists taking sides.

      • Shibusa

        Not a peep about the $2 billion worth of free media that Trump has received either.

    • Shibusa

      If you read the “Center for Public Integrity” story on this, they list a TV critic, restaurant critic, a photographer, and an editors who covers small, local news stories. And they point out that ‘talk radio mouthpieces, paid TV pundits and the like (e.g. Lewandowski) are not included in the tally for Trump.

      And lots of news outlets have no-political-donations rules, including The Dallas Morning News, Houston Chronicle, Los Angeles Times, NY Times, CNN, AP, National Public Radio, ProPublica, San Antonio Express-News, The Seattle Times and Tampa Bay Times….

  • Callyson

    This is where we need the majority and Pat Toomey is probably as articulate and effective on the floor of the Senate as anyone I have encountered.

    I’ll just leave this here:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0cc9967bd3c694cff1a312ce73c845564b25c27821eb53ff7c21a100fce065b4.png

    • bubbuhh

      Let’s dig up more dead people so’;s they can vote for McGinty, too also moar!

      • Msgr_Trump_has_killed_satire

        I got lots of dead ancestors in PA.

        • HogeyeGrex

          Well, tell the lazy layabouts to get out there and vote.

  • Duke

    They’ve had the edge in the Supreme court for a long time. Horrors if they weren’t getting a bias there. No Citizens United to funnel billions to their races to brainwash the uneducated.

    • Courser

      Oh, the Rethugs are beside themselves. They truly believe in their heart of hearts that they are *entitled* to a conservative Supreme Court. If Hillz does nothing else and fails to get re-elected (Not if I have anything to say about it), she can pack the court with young, progressive judges who may serve for 20-30 years or more.

      This is why we MUST give her a Dem Senate in November. The House is nice-to-have, also, but the Senate is key.

      • SeekingBarbie

        To hear them talk, Democrats would only appoint a raving, commie lunatic to the SC and not someone who is qualified, thoughtful, intelligent and deeply committed to the concept that we are a nation of laws. It’s incredibly insulting and that level of obstructionism is unprecedented in the history of SC appointments.

  • schmannity

    Just to rub their noses in it, Hillary should nominate Palin just so the GOPeePee can go on the record about her woeful incompetence. “Which precedent? AOTK.” “Stare decisis? My mother taught me it is rude to stare decisis.”

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Much as I’d like that, they’d just confirm her lickety-split before any hearings. And then we’d have Justice Palin. *brrrr*

      • mailman27

        Lou Sarah: “I’m just as Palin as who, now?”

    • DainBramage

      That’s not a bluff I’m willing to have called.

  • fawkedifiknow

    It says right in the Constitution that a majority on the Supreme Court must be right -wing extremists.

    • bubbuhh

      Only RWNJs can channel dead founding fathers cuz dead talks to dead.

  • Astraea
    • UNIT Leftenant Anna

      Wow. Those little girls, the looks on their faces?

      Anna’s gotz tears. :D

    • Cindyinencinitas

      ONION NINJA ALERT!! Still at work out here on the left coast. Watch that shit, please.

      • ahughes798

        Maybe I’m a heartless bastard, but the ad with the ex-military women was much better. I don’t like it when campaigns use kids in their advertising. It’s kind of pander-y, speaking only for myself.

  • Nounverb911

    Walnuts flip flops, he just WON’T vote for the nominee….
    https://twitter.com/TPM/status/788098713138917376

    • mackafritz

      Who am I? What did I just say?

      • DainBramage

        “Here kid. Have a horehound candy.”

      • Shibusa

        “The nice thing about Alzheimer’s is you get to hide your own Easter eggs.” ~John McCain

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Does he not see the GOP villagers, with their pitchforks, on the lawn of house number 5, er 7 or whatever.

    • Msgr_Trump_has_killed_satire

      “Get off my lawn!”

      • mackafritz

        Lawns

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    Why stop there? Just refuse to confirm any justice until they all retire or die. Eventually you’ll have John Roberts deciding everything himself.

  • FlownOver

    This had fucking better be good news for Ann Kirkpatrick!

  • Wes Grogan

    Oh, come the Hell on already!!!

  • SnarkOff

    Remember when he seemed nice?

    • bubbuhh

      No.

    • Nounverb911

      That was sometime last century, right?

    • DainBramage

      It was only the 2000 election. He seemed glib and always wanted to gab with reporters. His contrast with Bush the Lesser worked in his favor.

      • SnarkOff

        Nah, didn’t he have the Straight Talk Express even before that? And we all thought, “Look at that cool Republican who is cool”?

    • Msgr_Trump_has_killed_satire

      “Wasn’t that back when SNL was funny?” — DJT.

    • hendenburg2

      Here was when he went on SNL in 2008 with Tina Fey

      http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/mccain-qvc-open/n12355

    • NationalGalleryofClipArt

      No.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
  • limberrat

    Surely this is great news for John McCain!

  • Good_Trouble_Yall

    Anyone in AZ who casts a vote for Crusty McGrumpypants should be shaken by the shoulders repeatedly for the next four years.

  • Nounverb911
    • limberrat

      Man, he is melting down on twitter today.

    • TJ Barke

      Coherence; How the fuck does it work?

      • limberrat

        Coherence is for liberal elites!

    • boyblue122

      What? lol…word salad central

    • Count Awesome

      He’s just tweeting what he finds in his alpha-bits now.

    • limberrat

      Can you provide evidence that they lied? Besides the professional British Liar… and the cousin who the woman never told… and your own bullshit. Nothing?

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        People are saying. Isn’t that enough?

    • msanthropesmr
      • proudgrampa

        I am sure that those polls make Trump aggravated…

        Wait, what?

        • Mezzaluna

          Hey, how are you feeling? Is the recovery going OK? You came back pretty quickly so I imagine yes.

          • proudgrampa

            Thanks for asking! I’m doing all right. Physically, I still have some issues (my leg is still more numb than a doorknob), but physical therapy and a martini at 5:00 pm every day get me through it!

            Cheers!

      • Thiazin Red

        Hes at 11% right now, which makes me happy. Still about 10 % too high, but getting there.

      • crisptickle

        That recent blue rise is mostly due to the election date approaching, hence more certainty about the outcome. The polls were better for H. in August.

      • NationalGalleryofClipArt

        That’s a penis.

      • L_Mariachi

        Technically, that’s probability of winning, not poll results. Absolute poll numbers are still around 47% HRC – 41% DJT.

        • msanthropesmr

          Yeah yeah
          NERD

    • UNIT Leftenant Anna

      You could probably do good sales by printing his Tweets on Girl’s Sized tank tops and selling them in Harajuku.

      • msanthropesmr

        Please do not eat the wiring harness

        • UNIT Leftenant Anna

          LOL

          Once, I was helping Mom find a new Windshield Shade for her car, and I read the package out loud. “‘Remove Before Driving’, I’m *so* glad they told me to do that.”

          A very nice-looking woman near-by snorted, so I pretended to keep reading. “Do Not Eat”,

          She had a sexy laugh. :)

          • msanthropesmr

            That’s an actual warning from my 1972? Yamaha R5 2 stroke motorcycle. I had it made into t-shirts for my band.

          • UNIT Leftenant Anna

            I figured, that’s awesome with the T-Shirts.

            I build models from Japan, they used to have insane lines in the instructions. I think that kind of thing *might* be a translation error. I think – at least with hobbies – that they were meant to be Small Parts Choking Warnings, but came out as “Do Not Eat Sprues from Model Kit.”

            XD

    • Shibusa
    • mancityfooty

      We have all got to come together and win this election. We can't have four more years of Obama (or worse!).— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 17, 2016

    • Thiazin Red

      Wait what poll even? The one where Clinton is up by 12?

  • Indiepalin

    Hillary should definitely put McCain on the Supreme Court. His senate seat would then be up for grabs and, face it, Grandpa won’t last one weekend matching wits with Ruth Elena and Sonia.

    • azeyote

      yea but trump could put judge judy on it – checkmate –

  • anon_the_great

    I miss Sister Sarah.

    • azeyote

      are you a hoosiers daddy – from indiana ?

  • Msgr_Trump_has_killed_satire

    Pat Toomey is probably as articulate and effective on the floor of the Senate as anyone I have encountered.

    Well, he sure can’t articulate very well whether he’s supporting the Trump or not.

  • hendenburg2

    You know, where I’m from, Trophy Spouses open short-lived boutiques in high-end malls. I guess in Arizona they get into politics instead

  • azeyote

    from a racist congress to misogynist – well it’s always been that way and conservatives do hate change, and also – workin for a livin – huey lewis libelz

  • nightmoth

    Boy, just when I thought it was safe to start liking John McCain again—-

  • eastcoastlib

    Packing the court with sane, highly qualified legal minds? IMPEACH!!!

  • msanthropesmr

    This is good news for John McCain.

    • NationalGalleryofClipArt

      Came for this.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    It’s like the entire Republican party has come down with Trumpholm Syndrome.

  • proudgrampa

    John, will you please go away? You are no longer relevant…

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Whoa. CNN has more of that interview.

    Republican Sen. John McCain said on Monday that he wasn’t sure if Donald Trump would be a better president for appointing Supreme Court justices than Hillary Clinton.

    Trump has released lists of 21 potential justices. He has pledged to choose from among those 21 when making Supreme Court selections, in a move that has earned him praise from conservatives, including his former rival in the Republican primary, Texas Sen. Ted Cruz.

    Asked on the Dom Giordano program on 1210 WPHT Philadelphia radio whether Trump was the superior candidate on issues like the Supreme Court, the Arizona senator replied, “Uh, first of all, I don’t know, because I hear him saying a lot of different things.”

  • boyblue122

    McCain withdrew his support of Drumpf but then said he plans to block any HRC Supreme Court nomination. So confusing

    • The Farce Side

      Nah, the party may be divided on Trump, but they all know Hillary is evil.

  • Nounverb911
    • proudgrampa

      BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…

      • UNIT Leftenant Anna

        LOL ^ agreed, endorsed, and amplified. OMFKG

    • msanthropesmr

      That is one fucking well organized businessman, right there…

    • Joe Beese

      The best people, believe me.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      His own campaign is part of the conspiracy. Not surprising, really.

      • SeekingBarbie

        Maybe. According to Olbermann, Trump may be a pawn in his handlers’ ongoing conspiracy against the Clintons.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsIX0uF2n-M

        • ahughes798

          He’s much, much, easier to listen to, and take seriously, when he dials it down to about 8.

    • limberrat

      The greatest, just the greatest campaign ever, bigly.

    • ViveLaRes

      Maybe the voter guide application is with his tax returns?

    • Thiazin Red

      Thats as funny as when he almost didn’t make the ballot in Minnesota.

    • SeekingBarbie

      Trump blames it on the conspiracy in 3…2…

    • OddMan

      The best comment over on TPM was,
      Make America Late Again .

    • OneYieldRegular

      So on whom will he blame his incompetence and inadequacies now?

  • Mezzaluna

    So McCain has finally given up any pretense of being a senior statesman. Good. Now there no excuse for anyone to continue to vote for him.

  • geoffalnutt

    She’ll be tits up in the permafrost before that ever happens.

  • limberrat

    OT: It was Ecuador. They must be getting tired of not doing his chores.
    https://twitter.com/wikileaks/status/788099178832420865

    • msanthropesmr

      Dude fucking smokes weed, leaves his dishes in the sink, and keeps on talking shit he knows nothing about. We gotta get him outta here. Cut off his access to the internet and break the X-box.

      • Wild Cat

        Now he’s going to have to use Luddite porn . . .

        • UNIT Leftenant Anna

          “But somebody already used this issue of Maxim…”

          • Wild Cat

            If he finds rape erotic, he’ll find paper bubbles erotic . . .

          • UNIT Leftenant Anna

            Probs. Ick.

    • boyblue122

      lol…its all a big conspiracy

    • boyblue122

      Its not like Assange is the only one with access to the files Wikileaks obtained. Im sure he gave them to Snowden and company

      • clubseal

        I’m pretty sure you’re confused about Snowden and how his information was obtained.

        • NationalGalleryofClipArt

          Snitches can’t be choosers.

    • Master Contrail Program

      They were probably tired of all the spam invoices being sent from the Nigerian embassy.

    • rebecca

      IT WAS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!

      • Bad Granny

        Then who was phone?!!

        • NationalGalleryofClipArt

          Hugh Jass?

    • Beaumarchais?

      They’re probably tired of not being able to bring their children to work. ALLEGEDLY!

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Lololololol

  • Joe Beese

    Trial balloon popped.

    Sen. John McCain’s (R-AZ) office on Monday walked back his suggestion that Senate Republicans could continue to stonewall the confirmation of a ninth Supreme Court justice if Hillary Clinton is elected, insisting he will cast a vote on any nominee the next president puts forward.

    “Senator McCain believes you can only judge people by their record and Hillary Clinton has a clear record of supporting liberal judicial nominees,” McCain spokesman Rachael Dean told TPM in a statement. “That being said, Senator McCain will, of course, thoroughly examine the record of any Supreme Court nominee put before the Senate and vote for or against that individual based on their qualifications as he has done throughout his career.”

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/mccain-will-vote-on-clinton-supreme-court-nominee

    • boyblue122

      McCain didnt walk anything back if he doesnt say it himself

    • Shawn Renee Ernoehazy

      That just means he will vote against them all; along with all the repubs still left after the election.

  • whitroth

    I *will* take to the court to file a Writ of Mandebus on him and his buddies.

    • msanthropesmr

      of writ of mandibles, right in the jaw.

  • ViveLaRes

    Any con law scholars here? Can they actually do this? It seems ill-eagle and treasonish.

    • msanthropesmr

      This is the internet. We’re all con law scholars. ANd handsome/pretty.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      I mean, I’m an attorney, so kinda?

      And the answer is… kinda? The Constitution unfortunately provides no time frame for filling the spots of Supreme Court Justices, just how it’s done. There’s also no set number of Justices: nine is just the number we’ve traditionally settled on. Strictly speaking, there’s nothing stopping a president from appointing 500 justices (see FDR’s court-packing scheme). In any case, there’s nothing constitutionally bad about having 8 justices as opposed to 9.

      There have been arguments over whether the Senate’s “advise and consent” means an actual up-or-down vote, or just a hearing, but it’s kind of impossible to tell since there’s little historical record on the matter.

    • James Christopher Owen

      The Judiciary Act of 1869 stipulates that the makeup of the Supreme Court is to be a Chief Justice and eight associate Justice, any six of which may constitute a quorum.

  • Electric Ukulele Land

    Children of the future will be very confused when they read in the constitution that Supreme Court justices are meant to be appointed for life when they are used to justices only being appointed for a year when the Senate is in recess — which itself only happens very rarely. They will ask, where did this strange tradition come from?

  • Markuserektus
    • cmd

      This could be so useful in so many things.

  • Wild Cat

    That ol’ dog John McCain! He’ll say anything for laffs!

    • Bad Granny

      He’ll never top the joke he picked for a running mate though!

    • Hardly Ideal

      Which would be nice if he ever made me laugh.

  • Mavenmaven

    And under Trump they won’t need the Supreme Court, he will simply declare and it will be law, so it shall be written so it shall be done.

    • John Smith

      Never let the name of Trump be spoken in this land again!

  • Which is why we need to win back the Senate.

    Fortunately, Donald Trump seems to be doing a wonderful job campaigning for the Democratic party.

    • NerdWithNoName

      I STILL do not discount the possibility that DJT is a Democratic double agent. If you wanted to plant a guy in the GOP to destroy it from within, could you do better than Donald is doing?

      • OneYieldRegular

        Alas, we have the life-long record of Donald J. Trump being Donald J. Trump with which to disprove this conspiracy theory.

        • AJ Milne

          … also, there’s just the general principle of never attributing to malice what is adequately explained by stupidity…

          (Indeed, I suspect future generations will just assume that expression was coined in The Time Of Trump.)

          • HogeyeGrex

            Thankfully, it’s looking more and more like he’s going to be a forgotten also-ran, so no one will have to sully themselves with thoughts of Trump. Just like nobody remembers the last Whig Presidential candidate for being that.

            Yes, Mr. Trump. If you’ll just step right into this dustbin of history. Thank you.

  • limberrat
  • mailman27

    McCain is a shitbird, and I can’t remember the time when he wasn’t.

    • Joe Beese

      Cooks a mean BBQ, they say.

      • NationalGalleryofClipArt

        Nice tireswings, too.

  • Jon Sussex

    So this is the freedom all those wars have been protecting. Remind me, why wasn’t this guy Jade Helmed straight to a FEMA camp?

    • Logic of Color

      I hear he even still has his guns.

      • yyyaz

        Hired guns, paid for with our U.S. tax dollars.

    • Claire

      He was too slow getting on the bus. There’s a schedule to keep, you know.

  • Portia McGonagal

    Thanks for going on record with what we already know McCain. You are nothing but serial obstructionists. The GOP is filled w/ people more faithful to obstruction than their spouses.

    • John Smith

      Party over country!

      -Republican platform

      • James Christopher Owen

        “The Party seeks power entirely for its own sake. We are not interested
        in the good of others; we are interested solely in power. Not wealth or
        luxury or long life or happiness: only power, pure power.” – Obrien, 1984

  • exinkwretch

    The guts of this fossilized fuckface to run for another term at his age. Remember the near-corpse of Strom Thurmond being wheeled around the capitol? There should be an age limit. Not to mention an IQ test.

    • UNIT Leftenant Anna

      Also too a “knows the difference between shinola and the hole in their ass” test.

    • James Christopher Owen

      Careful. Robert Byrd was rolled onto the Senate floor often to help pass the ACA, numerous times. Repubs arranged for votes at times and under conditions deliberately aimed at trying to repress votes likes Byrd’s when all D votes were needed. He was there for us.

  • Antonin Dvorak

    K atty Kay on Ben Carson demanding her mic be shut off:

    As someone who’s “not naturally confrontational,” Kay wondered in the moment whether she should bother “to waste my energy fighting with someone who’s not making sense.”

    http://www.elle.com/culture/career-politics/a40024/ben-carson-katty-kay-mic/

    • Catstro

      It’s like she’s living my life

    • That was the most ridiculous thing… Now I know why he was so quiet and sleepy in all those Republican debates. Not enough women to yell at. Explains why he likes Trumpso much, too.

  • Jukesgrrl

    He doesn’t even know how many houses he has. He couldn’t organize a birthday party, let alone an eight-year filibuster.

  • Objectifer

    What part of advice and consent do you not understand?

    • clubseal

      Well, we know how they feel about consent.

      • James Christopher Owen

        BAZINGA!

  • sbanthony

    I wish I had a pithy, clever comment. But. I. Just. Can’t. Anymore.

    Please join me in donating, volunteering, and making calls to not only get Hillary elected, but a Dem controlled Senate, and, dare I dream, House.

    https://www.hillaryclinton.com/

    http://www.workingamericavotes.org/daily-kos/sign-up

    https://act.moveon.org/survey/mo-dk-txt-team/

    Hillary can’t do it alone, she needs Congress she can actually work with. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b431e662310b59e635cd5075532e6fa11abb84aa640814ca60e3e1ca8282d9b8.jpg

  • Swampay

    I can’t stand McCain (apologies to Ann Peebles et al)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5Rjo_imHDE

  • sbanthony

    I wish I had a pithy, clever comment. I. Just. Can’t. Anymore.

    Please join me in donating, volunteering, and making calls to not only get Hillary elected, but a Dem controlled Senate, and, dare I dream, House.

    https://www.hillaryclinton.com/

    http://www.workingamericavotes.org/daily-kos/sign-up

    https://act.moveon.org/survey/mo-dk-txt-team/

    Hillary can’t do it alone. Give her a Congress she can actually work with.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a0a41ca7d155a653022b4c98d2c9d6598d01d9c3762060420331799fdc40ee3e.jpg

  • Scooby

    Damn, and Clarence Thomas just bought a new RV.

    • HogeyeGrex

      With all the money paid to his wife’s “consulting” firm by companies with business in front of The Court, no doubt.

  • Hardly Ideal

    Can’t say I expect anything less from the guy who inflicted Palin and, subsequently, the Tea Party on us.

    Shuffle away, ya ash-hearted sod.

  • Walter Wellstone

    Poor Walnuts. There’s over 70% chance that the Democrats will take the Senate, which means he’s going to have to learn to live with being in the minority once again–perhaps for the very last time,

    • Beaumarchais?

      That’s assuming he gets re-elected. Which is not a sure thing at this point.

  • Bitter Scribe

    McCain apparently is already walking this back.

    It’s almost as if he spouts off without thinking through what he’s saying.

  • dxyseilc

    I like people who aren’t total assholes.

  • LiberalismIsACancer

    Liberal judges don’t believe there is a fundamental right to keep and bear arms, but DO believe there is a fundamental right of a woman to vacuum her baby’s brain out and call it “reproductive freedom,” for a lazy stoner to get high in public and call it “recreation,” and for a man to insert his raging member into another man’s rear end and call it “consummating a marriage.”

    • Good_Trouble_Yall

      Welcome to the dark side, young traveler. May I offer you a bong hit, a male boner, a sword beaten into a plowshare, or some of our finest baby-brain pate?

    • Cindyinencinitas

      Can we hear more about this raging member? Asking for a friend…

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Hoo mama. This guy’s disqus history is a treasure trove of anal sex fixation.

      Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but geeze, take it over to Literotica.

      *EDIT: Hee hee, seems I touched a nerve, he changed it to private. Sorry fella, I like to research our trolls.

      • SeekingBarbie

        Well, he disappeared in a hurry. I barely had time to start composing my clever/burning/dismissive/snarky response.

      • ahughes798

        Is that the same guy that kept posting all those detailed homosexxican fever dreams about Democratic candidates?

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Boy, didn’t see that coming.

  • desertwind

    Colbert at the Nerd Prom, lo those many years ago: John McCain — such a maverick he eats his salad with a spoon.
    Or a dessert fork.
    Can’t recall exactly. I is a Old.

  • Me not sure

    Doesn’t all of this big talk from McCain presuppose his return to the Senate? There is still enough time for him to collapse in the eyes of his fellow Arizonans and be sent to one of the numerous assisted living facilities in that state. Vote the bastard out, AZ!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      It’s looking like he’s going to survive, which is the ONLY reason he acted all principled and shit walking away from Trump. Most people outside-and inside, apparently- of this state have no idea what a complete shitbag McCain is.

      • Me not sure

        I’m willing to give it time. I feel that more terrible Trumpicity waits in the wings.

      • malsperanza

        Or, they like the massive seniority he has accrued, which is useful for local issues.

        This is one reason I continue to support Chuck Schumer in NY, even though I wish we had someone more upstanding.

  • Be Gin

    I was told by the nuns, long ago, that all mysteries would be revealed after we die and if we made the list to get into heaven.

    So I don’t think I am ever going to understand John McCain and his vice presidential pick in 2004.

    And I would have liked to understand what is going on with Donald Drump’s hands too. Is it intentional? An Illness? A vitamin deficiency?

    • John Smith

      Snapping off parts of his fingers in pussies (Trump, not McCain).

    • eilish99

      The more he keeps them moving, the less likely we are to fixate on their tininess.

    • Crank Tango

      Who was his pick in ’04? Lieberman?

    • cat cafe

      An appendage deficiency, reflected in EVERY appendage, which explains his endless, vile need for affirmation from other men, and his endless, loathsome need to “feel” powerful.

  • Shoto

    Wait: I thought Preznit Orange Man-Baby was going to nominate Princess Grifterella to the high court. I stand corrected.

  • JParkerSD46

    Really McCain? Really?????? Seriously…REALLY??????

  • alpacapunchbowl

    To think there was a time when I had a certain amount of respect for this smegmanozzle. Granted, that was before 2008, but still. My bad.

    • NationalGalleryofClipArt

      Don’t worry. Liberal hero Jon Stewart still thinks Panamanian Strongman Juan Mc Cain is the straightshooter this country needs.

  • RobKanC

    Of course, governing is for boring humans.. When you have transcended decency and humanity and just a angry shell, you can tell everyone to go fuck themselves.

  • kareemachan

    This just gobsmacked my SO.

    Which usually I think it’s funny, but DAMNIT, LET’S GET THIS ELECTION OVER WITH *NOW*!!!1!!!

  • TundraGrifter

    If you want to cut through the BS and get the facts, read “Mr. Smith Is Dead.” Sen. McCain is a blowhard who has accomplished little. He did work on opening up US relations with Viet Nam. Understand the circumstances, that was a lot. McCain-Finegold was an accomplishment. After those two things – not so much.

  • JMP

    Isn’t McCain himself one of the endangered Republicans up for reelection? Thanks for giving this great soundbite for Ann Kirkpatrick’s ads!

    • malsperanza

      His lead is pretty strong, but it would certainly be nice if this shitty remark gave Kirkpatrick a bump and McCain a scare.

  • Spurning Beer

    Hillary wants SCOTUS nominees to be approved? “At least she doesn’t plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt.”

    • H0mer0

      [he meant it affectionately]

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    McCain is trying to reassure the wingnuts-in the wake of distancing himself from Trump-that he is still the same venal, sanctimonious, craven dickhead he’s always been. Personally, I’ve never had any doubts.

  • tehbaddr

    Hey Wonkette! You’ve got a picture of my favorite crazy shrieking word salad lady right up there on the front of the post, and this has nothing to do with her! Please dig deeper and get some good quotes of crazy straight from the source.

    • cat cafe

      Well it kind of does, since this jackoff is the guy who inflicted her on us to begin with.

    • HooverVilles

      What cat cafe said.

  • CA_Reader

    Hey, Johnny Walnuts–if you don’t want to do the job, why are you running for it??? You’re running right up to treason when you talk about not allowing a Supreme Court to function as required.

    Stay home with your rich wife and let the country do it’s work.

    Kirkpatrick in 2016

    • Poly_Ester

      Why go for misdemeanors when you can go for high crimes.

  • Bigby

    “Advise and consent, but only when we get what we want. Oh, and fuck you”. –Rethugs

    I speak to “conservatives” often and they’re completely content with “As long as we win” as their mantra. Just like they support their sports team when some rapist/druggie/batterer/fraudmeister/roider scandal comes up. “Who cares, we won?”. “Well, will you be ok with it if Dems do that to YOU someday?”. “Uh, what part of ‘Benghazi is literally treason and Beirut Marine Barracks ’83 and 12 BushCo bombings were no biggie mistakes’ do you NOT understand, libtard?”.

    For some of them it’s “payback” for Bork and Thomas. What? Denying Democrats any appointments forever is *exactly* the same as Bork getting an up-and-down vote (and losing) and Clarence “Me? I’ve been on SCOTUS for 25 fucking years, why do you ask? Thomas?

    Fuck Johnny “I dumped my cancer-ridden wife in the hospital I’m such a class act” McCain. With Votes.

    • James Christopher Owen

      It’s because , in their minds, they’re right on everything. They sort of take the old Catholic line – “Error has no rights.”

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Trump really is their perfect candidate.

  • Constant Gardener

    Fuck you, Walnuts. I just voted for Ann Kirkpatrick!

    • Bec Jenn

      I’m doing that too, but not with early ballot, just showing up at the polls.

      • Constant Gardener

        Awesome! I signed up for the volunteer lawyer effort to monitor polls in battleground states, so I had to vote early. I’d liked to have voted the 8th. My precinct is heavily blue and will probably feel like a party.

  • Kooolest G

    appointing Obama is letting these fuckers off easy, she should nominate al sharpton. but seriously, if she doesn’t get a majority in the senate, she should just nominate every first (first gay justice, first muslim, first handicapped, etc.) and then after the senate blocks each one for no reason, she can go to each of those communities and say, “see the republicans hate you too”

    • Gentle Robot

      first redneck
      first prostitute
      first carnie
      first non-english speaker
      first baby

      • H0mer0

        Not to besmirch the reputation or the service performed by our commercial sex workers in making this nation great, but wuzn’t Justice Thomas the first prostitute on the court?

    • HogeyeGrex

      Technically, I don’t believe they even have to be lawyers, much less judges, so… game on.

  • Iam Reading

    She should pack the court with both obamas

    • atheist

      And a side of Bill Clinton

      • Parakeetist

        Just to hear wingnut brains short-circuit.

  • Serai 1

    Sick to death of this shitbag being considered some kind of fucking hero, thank you.

    • atheist

      No he’s a maverick remember?

    • Gregory Brown

      Many people of the shitbag persuasion have had their feelings hurt by this comparison.

    • James Christopher Owen

      Once, he was.

  • atheist

    But what happens if another conservative judge dies?

    • Parakeetist

      Much rejoicing.

    • *fluffs pillow menacingly*

      *…with votes*

    • traffikator

      Then the Dems can just sit by and chill! Nominate two of the most left-leaning Judges and completely ignore anything the Repugnants say. And we can have that balance of power.

  • Gregory Brown

    Achtung Wonkers, you can leave him a comment on his web site. I did, and I peeled him, without once using a word that cannot be printed in a family newspaper. I urge you all to give him a piece of your mind. The asshole (a word I did not use in my comment to him) has richly earned it. And make it a routine part of your day. I will.

    • Durwood

      I just sent him some choice words too. Years ago, I even kind of respected the guy for trying to reach across the isle. Although, these days he’s every bit as big of an asshole as Mitch McConnell and that’s one hell of a feat.

      • Gregory Brown

        Huzzah! Senor Durwood. I don’t know about you, but I remember watching on the news when he got off that plane from the Hanoi Hilton. He has turned his back on his own service.

        • Durwood

          I remember that and I remember when he at least made a half-assed effort to reach across the isle to get things done, just as he did in the 2000’s with immigration and other Repubs wanted him to shut up because it’s an issue that most of their base takes a hardline on. He did eventually shut up but I gave him points for being a Repub and at least making an effort to do the right thing. Since then, he’s become too much like McConnell.

        • pstockholm
  • harryeagar

    I thought the Republicans were the party of constitutional strict construction not constitutional stricture

  • Durwood

    I only hope the Dems have the balls to block any nomination of theirs if they block Scalia’s replacement for five fucking years! Good grief, this is yet one more example of why they DESERVE to have Donald J Trump as their nominee and all of the stupid, repugnant insanity that he has brought upon them.

  • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

    The man who was responsible for foisting Sarah Palin on America, with all that that entailed, does NOT get to pose as some sort of steely eyed defender of the country now. The damage that could have been done by that unhinged, grifting wingnut had you croaked is incalculable. You were willing to take that chance, purely for the sake of political expediency and opportunism. So go fuck yourself, Senator McCain.

  • rebecca

    a professor on twitter just admonished me that I shouldn’t have said “crippled.”

    sigh.

    • malsperanza

      Right, because “The Supreme Court is differently abled in its inability” makes perfect sense.

      An editor once told me that the word “fellow” was biased toward men and should never be used. Fortunately, I too am an editor and I told her to fuck the fuck off, and then I smote her with my Ring of Power.

      • H0mer0

        When I first emailed Editrix years ago (I was surprised she responded to me so quickly,) I expressed to her my being impressed by how grammatically correct and readable the non-comments were and wondered aloud if she sekritly edited them to make them sound so articulate cogent and she indicated that you were all very articulate already.

    • HogeyeGrex

      You misspelled “A Idiot.”

      • traffikator

        I love it! HAHAHa! He did not put your in the sentence.

    • yyyaz

      Today’s pedantry: If his/her exalted eruditedness suggested “decimated” as a more expediently appropriate adjective than the speciously indicted but practical and tractable “crippled,” he/she is unequivocally demanding to be relieved publicly of his/her poetic license: “decimated” understates the mathematical significance of the unfilled vacancy by 11 percent.

    • freakishlystrong

      Didn’t his stupid candidate write a fucking book called Crippled America? Did the professor on twitter admonish him?

    • Lord-Nash

      Ah! You just said it again!

  • malsperanza

    Senate race in North Carolina is tied.
    Senate races in Nevada, Pennsylvania, Missouri (!), and Indiana looking slightly bluer each day.
    Senate race in New Hampshire has the Dem, Maggie Hassan, behind by 4 points. Come on, New Hampshire! Move your bloomin’ arse!

    • Lord-Nash

      I’m really surprised to hear the race between Katie McGinty and Pat “at least I’m not Rick Santorum” Toomey is looking bluer. I live in southwest PA and I see one pro-McGinty add for every ten pro-Toomey ads. Nine out of those ten are from super PACs, not even Toomey himself. They’re all about how she’ll raise taxes, which is usually enough to get the red out.

      • malsperanza

        The cities and suburbs almost always carry PA. Toomey could still win if people decide to split their vote, but it depends now on turnout.

        McCain also pointed out to voters this week that electing a GOP Senate is a recipe for the most extreme obstructionism in modern history. (Thanks, McCain!)

        In short: find your Clinton office and offer to drive elderly Dems to the polls. Or volunteer to be a poll watcher. SW PA is likely to be an area with some attempts at voter intimidation. I’m hoping to be around Scranton, myself.

        • Lord-Nash

          I’m really praying that the Trump supporters are too lazy to spend time for voter intimidation. The one thing that makes me optimistic is that with all the support the dumbass has in the polls, you never really see his supporters unless it’s time for a rally. Otherwise, you never see much from them, and not in an organized group. Hopefully that means that on boring old voting day they’ll stay inside and watch TV.

  • Reality Kills

    I would do Palin for Breezers’s skit.

  • Reality Kills

    Do we do each other? Or that’s politically incorrect?

  • dshwa

    It took him 8 years, but John McCain finally topped his record travesty that was the Palin nomination. I always knew he had it in him.

  • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

    I’d forgotten how much I missed that face, ie not at all.

    • H0mer0

      since Sarah Lou and I are about the same age, I consider her my picture of Dorian Gray.(not that I was ever as attractive as she was on camera and haven’t had the benefit of plastic surgery)

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Trump University Fraud Trial Date: November 28th.
    Trump Rape Trial (Civil Case): December 16th
    Trump or his companies have been defendants in 1,500 lawsuits.
    At least 14 women have now come forward alleging sexual assault by Trump.
    Hillary Clinton’s legal troubles? Non-existent.
    Trump likes to say that, if he is elected, he will have Hillary put in jail.
    I really don’t think she’s the one who should be in jail.

  • MAZS

    How come those who believe the least in American institutions also believe they are the only true Patriots? Why does John hate America?

    • Saint Stephen

      I’m always making that point, too. Look at how many of these right wingers have an American flag in their Facebook photo.

  • JHan

    Democrats do what you have to do. This is ridiculous.

  • phoenix00

    “Ugh, back to bed I go I guess.” – Merrick Garland

  • jen

    OK, just fired off a nasty email to John McCain, to whom I actually donated in 2000. Boy they are really coming out of the closet, arent they?

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Every Democrat, in every Congressional race, needs to scream about this:
    THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD NOT VOTE FOR THE REPUBLICAN.

    • traffikator

      This should be used as an ad in every single state and every Public session, to implore American to see why Republicans are just bad for the country. Look at the economy improving, deficit cut in < half, UE rate down to <5%. Without the help and total opposition from Repugnants. Just imagine if they simply did nothng. Just stayed out of the way. Health Insurance would great for all, the economy would be booming. But nearly half of America are repugnant deplorables who would rather the whole country burn rather than allow the Government to make it better. They claim the President cannot do anything to create jobs and even dictate teh economy. They say capitalist markets will do that. Now the hypocrites are saying they want the worst nominee to be President because he can create jobs as President and fix the economy!

      • HooverVilles

        Yes and sigh.

    • Abby Normal

      I honestly don’t understand why everyone isn’t ready to form an angry mob to vote all these schmucks out. Not just democrats.

      I mean, why aren’t republican voters pissed off at these asshole? They are paid huge amounts of money, and they do nothing.

      Just blocking anything the democrats want isn’t doing their jobs. They have made no meaningful progress towards what their constituents want.

      Why isn’t everyone pissed at these guys?

      • Jen B_VA

        Short answer? GOP blames the DEMS for wanting things to begin with.
        Long answer? GOP blames the DEMS for wanting things and not giving the GOP everything it wants, because if they compromise on so much as what to have for lunch, their rabid base will primary them.

  • Alan

    I used to think McCain was at least borderline reasonable. Has he gone completely nuts?

    • Rickyphoo

      WALNUTS!

    • Thaag Tidestalker

      Shitting whole pecans.

  • beavertank

    Christ, what an asshole.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Seriously, fuck that guy.

  • Vagandarian the Librarian!

    Is McCain trying to save his job by appealing to the lowest common denominator?

    • KJB

      Do you even need to ask? I think the answer to that question has remained YES since he brought Mama Grizzly to national attention.

      • Vagandarian the Librarian!

        Yeah, I guess that was a rhetorical question. He obviously didn’t learn from that gross error in judgment.

        • Vagendadentacohontas

          You had him at, “learn.”

        • KJB

          Or maybe he ‘learnt’ that the way to the fucknut vote is to double down when you’re wrong, instead of ceding to fact?

  • I AM R U

    How…how does your country even FUNCTION???

    • H0mer0

      I dunno, when life gives you priapism, make babbies?

      (I apologize for any corneal abrasions necessary if mccain was inadvertently included in whatever imagery resulted from reading that)

      • I AM R U

        I’m just wondering if that was English… o.O

        • H0mer0

          someone from London actually thought I wuz English until the heat and stupidity around Washington DC caused my previously fine diction to go flaccid.

          • I AM R U

            I suppose the US does have a way of making a man’s diction flaccid…

    • Jen B_VA

      It functions?

      • I AM R U

        So historians claim…

    • Durwood

      What really gets me about this too is he expects to block ALL court
      nominees for five years but should they win in 2020, they’d expect to
      get their nominees approved the day after the inauguration. Could you imagine how loudly he/they’d scream if the Dems pulled this bullshit?

      • tsk

        Remember it was Republicans who screamed that the president’s nominee deserved an up or down vote (when it was a Republican president’s nominee, of course!).

        • Durwood

          Yeah and Bill Frist, the GOP majority leader then threatened a nuclear option. I only wish the Dems would behave like the Repubs the next time they win the WH and just obstruct every single thing they do–every piece of legislation, every judge, etc.

      • I AM R U

        We had this issue here – a conservative leader lost the election, so instead of being a reasonable adult, he acted like a baby and did everything in his power to undermine the government. Predictably, he won the next election – then had the displeasure of experiencing the same thing, as he had taught politicians that such tactics work. He was replaced before the next election because no one on the opposition would deal with him.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      What is this “function” of which you speak? It sounds quaint.

      • I AM R U

        Sorry :( I forgot you lot don’t speak the Queen’s English…

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Where does “function” appear in the Constitution? Huh?

      • I AM R U

        See now, we jest, but I’m sure that’s a legitimate respone from people at a Trump rally.

    • tsk

      It doesn’t.

      • I AM R U

        Touche.

    • Lord-Nash

      We have some decent folks here who just try to live their lives. That makes it easier on everyone.

      • I AM R U

        Seems like they should just living their lives and impose some kind of rationality…

        • Lord-Nash

          Sad thing is, if you look back at history, it’s like Puritanism. People poking their noses into everyone’s fucking business all the damn time about everything because they think their religion gives them the right and DEMANDS them to do so. Just leave people ALONE for fucks’ sake.

          Actually, some Fucks Saké would be really tasty.

          SQUIRREL!

  • Splamo

    We must get rid of the filibuster.

    • The Witch of Endor

      Actually, I wouldn’t mind a true filibuster since I don’t think anyone could manage it. Get it back to actually having to suffer for your ideals–right or wrong.

      • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

        Yeah, this Magic The Gathering form of filibuster is bullshit. They just lay down their “Level 8 Filibuster” card and it’s somehow equivalent to standing up for 18 hours reciting poetry and trying not to think about having to shit.
        Yes, it is a terrible waste of all of our esteemed lawmaker’s time, but that is exactly the point. It’s a parliamentary ripcord one pulls in emergency, and it should be treated as such.

  • Mike Steele

    That McC will undoubtedly be joined by the other McC (Mitch), who memorably convened a dinner for BOORs (Black Obstructionist Order of Republicans) on the evening of Obama’s ascension, strictly for the purpose of rendering him ineffectual. Aside…their plan to make him one-term was an epic fail. Sadly, the low-information crowd is so busy chanting USA! that they can’t hear the sound of democracy’s foundation cracking. The redneck comics had it right: you can’t fix stupid.

  • Jay

    Correct me if I’m wrong, weren’t he and Meghan saying “don’t punish the rest of us for Trump” about a week ago?

  • John Norris

    Mr McCain has not honor or integrity. His family should ask him to retire and avoid any more embarrasment.

    • Rags

      It would be irresponsible not to speculate that he will retire after the election and let Ducey pick a suitably Neanderthal replacement.

      And to save Wonkettes some time and effort, that is indeed hominin libelz…

  • zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

    What has happened to McCain?? He used to be kind of ok. What a radical, insane, shitty thing to say. And thanks for depriving the people of the USA from due process and justice, yayyyyyyyyyyy freedom. Constitutional! Rigged! Words!

    • Cool_North

      If he wants to keep his cushy seat, he’s gotta go the tea party route and get crazy. And that’s one unforgiving, insurrectionist-ish electorate.

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        His wife has $700 million dollars, he’s seen how fucked up and stupid his party has gotten, he’s old as hell, so I have no idea why he doesn’t just bow out gracefully.

        • Vagendadentacohontas

          As long as the rest of his party is being held hostage by a megalomaniac with a micropenis, he’s IN!

        • Cool_North

          He’s just another fool who thinks he’s irreplaceable.

    • Durwood

      I emailed him almost that very post because of this. He’s turned into Ted Cruz.

      • Vagendadentacohontas

        ^^THAT^^ Is the meanest thing that can possibly be said about another human. Well done.

        • Vagenda and Tiara

          Worse thing you could say “sir, you are turning into a combination of Ted Cruz, Donald Trump, and Louie Gohmert.”

          • Vagendadentacohontas

            Now THAT is some sick shit. Have I mentioned how much I appreciate sick shit?
            …although the nightmares are catching up with me…
            ~Carly F.~

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      McCain was never OK. People thought he was OK around 2000, but the reality is he was involved in the Keating Five scandal way back in the day. He also dicked over a sick wife, should never have been a pilot due to his complete lack of qualifications, and he is a general all around piece of shit. He briefly seemed sane…for a Republican, but that’s still insane.

  • Dudleydidwrong

    McCain is not a dick. Dick’s are good. I haz one. It is useful, even at age 80/81. McCain is not useful. McCain is a rancid grease trap.
    (I have not read downthread so if I am posting what thousands of others have posted, I haz a ‘pology. But McCain is still a fucking selfish rancid grease trap.)

    • Vagendadentacohontas

      Dad?
      ~crazy dadohontas is 80/81 (not in the inseam), but he iz a crazy and I can’t do more than the phone check-in since he said, “That Palin broad sure iz smart.” way back in ott ate. You iz my new favorite 80/81. Except our El Camino, natch.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        It is a distinct honor to come in second to an ’80 El Camino.

  • Newzheimer

    You all know this here will be moot, right?

    The Republicans are going to lose control of the Senate as part of the epic ass-kicking that’s headed their way in November.

    McCain made this ‘promise’ as part of his campaigning for Pat Toomey who’s running for re-election to Senate from Pennsylvania.

    No matter, Toomey will most likely lose his race and the Rs, the Senate.

    Say Hello to to your new Majority Leader, Chuck Schumer

  • HooverVilles

    (G)reedy (O)bstructionist (P)atriarchs !

  • Lord-Nash

    Dear God, please let these assholes reap exactly what they have sown: which is nothing.

  • KBadger

    Has anyone checked this idiot recently for early on-set dementia?

  • Manray9

    When John McCain selected Sarah Palin as his running mate, he forfeited all claims to credibility and any standing as a national political leader.

  • Incoming Ham

    GOP- “The last 8 years have shown us we need to change our ways and engage with people, work with the other branches of government to stop the inertia or we will end up with another Donald Trump.”

    John McCain – “Fuck that, Hillary Clinton will be a one term president.”

  • Sassamaphone

    You guys doing a live blog?

  • dltaylor51

    Its three months later and McCain is all washed up and his bloated carcass is being picked clean by sea gulls.

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