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Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Ahem, HA HA:

WikiLeaks says that founder Julian Assange’s internet access has been cut by an unidentified state actor. Few other details were immediately available.

Assange has been up holed up at the Ecuadorean Embassy in London for more than four years after skipping bail to avoid being extradited over sex crimes allegations.

Make it funnier, Associated Press:

Calls, texts and emails left with WikiLeaks weren’t immediately returned Monday.

We’d imagine not! We’re pretty sure Assange also missed all his friends’ group texts about Sunday brunch too, and they didn’t go check on him because they were only pretending to like him.

The Obama administration has publicly blamed the Russian government for all the recent hacking of the DNC and the Clinton campaign, and WikiLeaks has dutifully published whatever Russia has (allegedly, we guess, fuck it) upchucked into its baby bird mouth. Sunday, Vice President Joe Biden appeared on Chuck Todd’s news program “Chuck Todd Is For Some Reason Considered A Good Journalist,” and he told Todd that the United States is preparing to send Russia a message in retaliation for its meddling in our election. Maybe making Assange feel like a common Comcast customer who keeps hitting “reset” on his modem and still can’t get no internets is part of that. Comcast-ghazi!!!!1111!

What’s funny is that the stuff being published by WikiLeaks is, for the most part, a bunch of stale nothingburgers. For instance, here is what the Los Angeles Times says about recent batches of the hacked emails of Clinton campaign chair John Podesta:

Take a deep dive into the more than 10,000 Clinton campaign emails published by WikiLeaks, and here’s what you’ll learn: Hillary Clinton is a careful, methodical, tightly-controlled politician. Her jokes, her tweets and even her purported ad libs are often scripted by aides. She hates to apologize, even when she admits she’s done something wrong, like keeping emails on a home server. She’s a progressive, but not an ideologue; she yearns for “rational, moderate voices” on both sides. Above all, she’s a pragmatist who’s willing to compromise — and to have “both a public and a private position” if that’s what it takes to make a deal.

As the L.A. Times concludes, Assange’s SUPER OMG BREAKING NEWS leaks have revealed the shocking secret that Hillary Clinton is Hillary Clinton.

So Assange was a failure and a maybe-sexual assaulter — like his chosen candidate, Donald Trump! — long before he signed on to AOL on Monday and there was nary a reassuring voice telling him, “You’ve Got Mail.” Therefore, contra our funny headline, we highly doubt Hillary sent Seal Team Six to murder Assange’s mom’s dial-up connection.

Let’s see how he does as a big tough warrior for radical transparency (who gives not one shit about possible collateral damage that might result from his crusade) without his precious computer. Maybe he can just tell secrets about all his pals in the Ecuadorean Embassy, like who’s banging whom behind the gym and which ambassador got a boner during math class. Who will he tell these secrets to? NOT THE INTERNET LOL.

On the other hand, if Assange can’t get on internets, how can he give us more delicious John Podesta recipes? Remember how we all learned One Weird Trick for making the perfect risotto only because Assange leaked Podesta’s cooking tips to the world? Somebody’s still waiting for Podesta’s spanakopita recipe, and it yr Wonkette.

Speaking of that risotto, we sure hope Assange was still online when Podesta sent these tweets Friday:

podesta1

podesta2

podesta3

HAHAHAHA YA BURNT.

Oh well. We don’t know who cut off Assange’s internets, and we do not care, because fuck him. We hope he doesn’t literally starve to death from the lack of attention.

[AP / Los Angeles Times]

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  • cousin itt

    Will Julian ever be able to Assange his guilt?

  • Kathleen Voss Woolrich

    LOLOLOLOLOL

  • Astraea

    Now this is a feel good story.

  • Spotts1701
    • The Wanderer

      Are we certain it wasn’t Cartman’s Trapper Keeper Deluxe?

  • Nounverb911

    So who is paying off Ecuador to keep this putz?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Well…we know it ain’t trump…
      Because he never pays anybody.

    • AngryKatie

      That’s what I was just wondering.
      Are they having to feed him? I hope he’s just getting boiled guinea pigs with turnips.

    • Jen B_VA

      pretty sure his followers are supporting him.
      Grift train keep on rollin eh?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        It’s just a 21st century update of the oldest grift in the world: organized religion.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Well, I just donated $15 in the semiannual Wikileaks fund drive.

        Oh wait, that was Wikipedia. Nevermind.

  • The Wanderer

    My money’s on the Ecuadorian government shutting off his IT connection, because he’s making them look bad by having paparazzi and press people hanging around the gates 24/7.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “And if I press this button, Señor Ambassador, the guy on the couch loses his ‘net connectivity!”

      “You mean like this?” (presses button)

      (from general direction of couch) “The NSA just cut me off!”

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      And who knows, they may even draw the line at blatantly interfering with a national election.

      • Kavefish

        “…that one weird trick…”

      • Jen B_VA

        probably less that and more “We said you could stay here, not try to start a fight between Russia and USA here with us in the middle.”
        Self preservation is a hella drug

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Lol, I hope they cut of his school night TV privileges, too. He’s been very naughty.

    • richardgrabman

      Probably more to do with the upcoming Ecuadorian Presidential election than just tired of the paparazzi. The Government’s fight with the (reactionary) private media complicates the ruling party’s plan for a smooth transition from Rafael Correa to Lenin Morales. Despite his given name, Lenin is more a “moderate” than Correa, and would be likely to be open to more cooperation with the US and the EU (and the Commonwealth… the “banana wars” with the Commonwealth growers are of some importance in Ecuadorian politics).

  • bryan

    Unidentified star actor : Many people are saying that was Pamela Anderson. She took him him a vegan sandwich and then cut his cables. Another global elite lizard woman trying to destroy humanity.

    • Nounverb911

      Was it made with “real” vegans?

    • therblig
    • jowgajen

      Did we just burn an asset? IS PAMELA ANDERSON A CIA SPY?!!??!!

      • Nah, she’s with CSIS

        • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

          Shh, careful, don’t say too much or you’ll blow Celine’s cover! And Cirque du Soleil has almost infiltrated Illuminati HQ!

          • “Nah, they can’t be spies. They’re so polite!” – rest of the world about all Canadian spies

          • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

            ‘Are you a spy? TALK!’
            ‘Why yes, I am, and thank you so much for asking!’

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Those are some diplomatic pouches….said Mr. Trump.

  • (((JustPixelz)))

    When Assange calls Comcast customer “support”, he’ll get a real taste of what life will be like in Little Donnie’s world of great-osity-ness.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    “State actors”?

    Did the Ecuadorian Charge d’Affaires spill a latte on the wi-fi box?

    • Oblios_Cap

      it was probably more of a bit actor.

    • Creepoman

      Maybe even a piping hot cup of yerba mate.

      • richardgrabman

        Ecuadorians? Aren’t you thinking of Uruguayans or Argentinians? Ecuadorians drink coffee… but then all us Latin Americans are alike, right?

  • Oblios_Cap

    And just before the really damning e-mails could be released. I can’t wait to hear Trump’s rant about this.

    • The Wanderer

      Alex Jones, Roger Stone, and Bannon will all plotz.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Hillary Clinton seen shopping at a Toys-R-Us for howitzers!”

  • WaPo ran an op-ed last week that was titled, “SCANDAL, Hacked E-mails reveal Hillary Clinton to be Reasonable”.

    • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

      She’s history’s greatest monster!

      • Reasonable and Pragmatic! DEAR GOD HELP US ALL!!!!!

      • Msgr_Trump_has_killed_satire

        I bet she uses canned clams in her lobster risotto.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          That’s deplorable.

        • Cindyinencinitas

          HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT??? I thought I could TRUST YOU.

          • Snark Tank of Deplorables

            “I learned it from watching YOU, Mom! I learned it from YOU!”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Clearly, she’s a threat to everything the alt-right neo-Nazis hold dear.

    • lroom

      INPEACH!

      • kareemachan

        As in chutney? I heart me some peach chutney….

  • (With apologies to Actor212)

    My headline was funnier.

    https://twitter.com/Shypixel/status/788032059126128640

    • eddi

      Another sprayed keyboard. At least this one’s waterproof.

      • kareemachan

        I put mine through the dishwasher, cuz NPR said I could.

        It actually worked!

        • eddi

          I usually just go over mine with a damp sponge and some plastic cleaner.

    • Nounverb911

      Haven’t heard from him in a while have we…

    • cousin itt

      As it happens, I conversed with actor the other day. He’s doing fine and seems rather wrapped up in another hobby. No, not that one.

      • I think he is still mad at me for marrying Trix…

        • Cindyinencinitas

          He was after her with both barrels blazing, wasn’t he? Dayum!

          • pstockholm

            I would have thought he’d have more success if he had two barrels.

          • kareemachan

            I always giggle when they announce that a baseball player has two balls and a strike…..

      • Arolpin

        I think I found this place because of something Actor212 said back when Sadly, No! was still active. I think it was during the great atheist-christian war of 2015. (Damn, I forgot how nasty that was. There were a couple mean remarks, rumors of a biting retort, and a cup may have been knocked over. Damn liberals can’t even have an internal battle properly.)

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Hmm. I must have missed that, somehow. Is that how we lost our old lefty church lady pal, DustbowlBlues?

          • kareemachan

            Dang, the stories I don’t know….

          • berkeleyfarm

            Well, if it is I’ll be sorry.

            I missed that, because I was getting bullied at church and wasn’t wonking much.

      • lucidamente

        P***y grabbing?

        • Oblios_Cap

          That’s politely known as “The Trump Handshake”.

      • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

        Ah, nice to have news of dear actor212. Glad he’s doing well.

    • goonemeritus

      We prefer not to get involved in these interoffice squabbles.

    • Msgr_Trump_has_killed_satire

      Yeah, but who grabbed his stapler?

  • Anna Rompage

    OMFG, the funny (read bat shit crazy) thing about this is all my left wing conspricary friends have posts up saying that Assagne was assasinated as well….

    • The Wanderer

      LOL

    • eddi

      Without his internet connection he is nothing. If he doesn’t get it back fast it will be “Julian who?” all over the place.

      edit Wait. When he does come back claim it’s an imposter.

      • kareemachan

        Well, it is, right?

        • eddi

          Rumors of his death are already circulating. That didn’t take long at all.

  • Nounverb911

    Assange can always use a telephone modem…(Are telephone modems running at 9600 baud still a thing?)

    • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

      I saw an acoustic coupler 300 baud modem in a thrift store not too long ago. I believe it still worked, but no WAY was I gonna try getting on line with it.

      • Whale Chowder

        Who the hell would you connect to?

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Oh man. Lobster risotto! I am so making that soon.

    • Snark Tank of Deplorables

      I’m making Julian LAssagne.

      • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

        I made that once. It’s tasteless and bitter, and you regret eating it almost immediately.

        • And most certainly, lacking layers

        • Snark Tank of Deplorables

          I cannot upfist this enough times.

        • Msgr_Trump_has_killed_satire

          And it rapes your other dishes. ALLEGEDLY.

      • calliecallie

        Julienned Lassagne is the one with all the vegetables, right?

  • Indiepalin

    To make matters worse, Comcast replaced Assange’s favorite channel, Adult Swim with thousands upon thousands of hours of soccer.

    • AngryKatie

      Low def soccer.

      • UnsaltedSinner

        American soccer.

        • SuspectedDemocrat

          And Nickelback plays the halftime show.

          • Captain Kraut

            Well, at least it’s not cricket!

    • The Wanderer

      That does it! Unleash the Mooninites!

  • Astraea
  • Michael R
  • bubbuhh

    Did Killary Benghazi McEmailz invade London or Ecuador to cut off Assnge’s junk?

  • AngryKatie

    Based on my experience with Comcast, this is only the beginning of his ordeal.

    Soon they will schedule appointments they don’t show up for, show up for late, and show up for but can’t fix it. And forget the bills, his Comcast bill is going to be fucked up for months.

    • UNIT Leftenant Anna

      It’s a fate no reasonable person would wish on another.

      Enjoy, Assange. XD

      • Seek

        Pikers, You’ve seen and experienced nothing until you have the joy of Time Warner Cable. They’re so bad they’ve had to go into witness protection and change their name to continue doing business. Welcome to Spectrum, just like Time Warner with a more ridiculous name!

        • UNIT Leftenant Anna

          Actually, we had TWC back in the day, and yes, everything you’ve said is Teh Troof.

          XD

  • lucidamente

    If his ISP is anything like Time Warner, he should see a repair technician sometime between the next ice age and never.

    • Astraea

      What happened to Time Warner rebranding as Spectrum? I got a flyer in the mail and everything and… nothing. lol

      • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

        They wanted to go ahead with it, but someone showed them an episode of ‘Captain Scarlet’ and they changed their minds.

      • Seek

        Who knows. It was a stupid idea.
        They’ve gotten so good at the Cable game that they’re rebranding! Yeah, no one ever would have seen through that ruse. It’s an episode of Scooby Doo. And we’d have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for all of those rational subscribers!

  • beatbort

    OK, the only thing remaining is for the Ecuadorian ambassador to kick his ass out of the house. Fucking moocher.

    • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

      Plus he never takes out the garbage no matter how many times you ask, and he keeps leaving a half inch of milk in the jug and putting it back in the fridge.

      • calliecallie

        Toast crumbs on the butter also, too.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Butter reconsider that non-extradition policy.

    • They said “State Actor”

      Ecuador is a State.

      Just sayin’

      • Snark Tank of Deplorables

        Pfft. Next you’ll be saying shit like “Canadia is a State” or “Florida is a State”. Like we believe that.

        • SuspectedDemocrat

          There’s states all over the world. It’s a sinister conspiracy.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        “No more internet until you clean your room.”

      • VforV, I’m with Her!

        So’s Russia. Maybe Ol’ Handsome Joe’s “message” got through and they decided he needed to STFU for a minute.

        /irresponsible not to speculate

      • A LITtle Annoyed, Yet ARoused

        Maybe they left off “Former Secretary of”

    • Cindyinencinitas

      Go stand in front of Home Depot if you have to, just get the fuck off the couch so I can shampoo the carpets and get that bong water smell out of the basement!

  • baconzgood

    I never use the internet.

    • Nounverb911

      I read that about you on the internet…

  • ahh_2_2
    • lucidamente

      “Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit trolling the Democrats.”

  • memzilla
  • UnsaltedSinner

    I think TBogg may have cracked the case.

    https://twitter.com/tbogg/status/787969975285784576

    • Jen B_VA

      sooooo dramatic.
      How do we know he just did not pay his bill? Or maybe it was the Embassy that did not pay its bills so they shut them off? Ehya?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Embassy quartermaster to ISP: “So, if we don’t get the check to you by the end of business, what happens?”

        “We’ll cut off your internet access for non-payment.”

        “I see.”

        “So, sir, can we expect that payment?”

        “We’re thinking about it. We have this house guest who is hogging the bandwidth and raising our latency into the stratosphere, it interferes with the Ambassador’s WoW raiding. He’s plenty pissed.”

        “Oh, sending a message, are we”

        “Yes, the other clues we’ve dropped are not being picked up. This guy is a bit on the daft side…”

    • UNIT Leftenant Anna
    • mancityfooty

      #freejulian, which is funny ’cause he can leave anytime.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        “Sweden wants me, but I can’t go back there!”

        • Captain Kraut

          Honestly, being wanted in Sweden would be a drastic improvement in the lives of 90% of the world’s population.

    • Stulexington

      So they knocked the router over in a state wide celebration?

  • beatbort

    Julian Assange without the Internet is like the Wizard of Oz without his, uh, curtain.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    This is why I have the Internet printed out for me each morning. Even if there’s a blackout I can still read it by candlelight.

  • goonemeritus

    Next Hillary will prank order 2 dozen pizzas and have them sent to the embassy.

    • Crank Tango

      And they will all be something my Gramma liked, like onion and black olive.

      • Yr. Gma

        Gramma libel!

        • Crank Tango

          LOL well my mom is a gramma now and she likes better toppings, so it gets better?

      • Logic of Color

        mmmmm, black onion and olive…my favorite

        • eddi

          I call it a good start.

      • calliecallie

        Anchovies libelz!

      • Querolous

        With canned clams.

    • Msgr_Trump_has_killed_satire

      What do you think Pamela Anderson was doing?

      • OddMan

        Bringing him a vegan meal, that he did not want.
        No really, that was it.

        • arundel

          I love how that so fits Assange’s pattern of being an entitled ingrate.

  • Crank Tango

    Holy shit is this guy still in hiding?

    Hell, even OJ got out of the Bronco eventually.

  • cousin itt

    I blame the specially trained Ecuadorian llamas. Especially Ralph.

  • beavertank

    Maybe he fell prey to the UK’s anti-piracy laws. Because information wants to be free, damnit! Especially the information that makes up the HD rip of Game of Thrones.

  • FauxAntocles

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
    (Kids, this is what we did in the days before LOL).

    • The Wanderer

      Or, if you’re from South America:
      Jejejejejejejejejeje!

      • Catstro

        kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

        • beatbort

          Is that how Robert Byrd and David Duke laugh?

          • Cindyinencinitas

            He said he was sorry.

      • Tio_Doidinho

        Or, “kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk”!

        • Vienna Woods

          Dear god, no, not the Brazilians!

          • Tio_Doidinho

            Ninguém suspeita os brasileiros!

    • Donkey Option

      Apparently in Morocco it’s hhhhhhhhhhhh

  • Maybe this is like what they did with Noriega, except instead of blasting music at him, they’re going to force him to use dial-up.

    • Jen B_VA

      rrrrrrrrrr eeeeeeeeennnnnnnnn mmmmmmm pingpopingopingpo uuurrrttttttt
      “I give up!”

    • MynameisBlarney

      And Explorer.

      • AJ Milne

        I thought this administration was backing away from torture.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Oh ours is, sure…
          But Ecuadors? Not so sure about that.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Navigator

        • MynameisBlarney

          NetScape

          • Crank Tango

            AOL 3.0!!!

          • Astraea

            On Prodigy!!

          • The Wanderer

            Compuserve?

          • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

            Mosaic 0.9

          • MynameisBlarney

            Messenger Pigeon?

          • Altavista

          • MynameisBlarney

            Abacus!

          • Arolpin

            True story. I’m in Silicon Valley helping turn up a data center in ’98 or early ’99. I meet a former co-worker for lunch at some anonymous strip mall. He’s at this cool little startup, very happy, asks if I would consider coming over. I ask what they do, he replies that they are a new search engine. I reply, “We already have AltaVista, why would someone create a new search engine.” I don’t go work for Google. My friend retired 1 year to the day after the Google IPO.
            That being said, AltaVista *was* the bomb in 1998.

          • Seek

            My grandfather refused to get in on the ground floor of WD40 because who needed that when you could just use an oil can.

          • mailman27

            Ouch.

          • berkeleyfarm

            I could see about introducing you to a friend of mine who went to Harvard with Bill Gates and turned his offer to work on toy computers down.

          • Arolpin

            The smartest guy I know took a lot of money off of Mark Zuckerberg playing poker when they were undergrads at Harvard. Never thought that Facebook would amount to anything.

        • limberrat

          Lycos!

        • Villago Delenda Est

          GeoCities!

    • Spotts1701

      Next, in the middle of the night they will replace his PC with a Compaq Presario circa 1998.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      YOU MONSTER!

  • Msgr_Trump_has_killed_satire

    Did he try turning it off and then back on again?

  • Crank Tango
    • Literally just had to have a user do that. Naturally it resolved the problem…

    • calliecallie

      What is that guy doing with his right hand? This is a disturbing gif.

      • Crank Tango

        Disturbing, huh.

  • Callyson

    I bet the lobster risotto is better than the food at the Ecuadorian Embassy

    https://jillianakajill.files.wordpress.com/2016/03/spit-laugh.gif?w=535

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Assmunch was stupid enough to rise to the trolling, and come up with an incredibly lame and unfunny response, too.

  • Donkey Option

    The actual bad thing about the released emails is how many people I hear saying “well, in the emails Hillary Clinton said…” because they read that the emails say something and either don’t know or don’t care that the emails that were hacked weren’t Hillary’s, they were John Podesta’s. Also, for all the people who claim that the reason that they’re freaking out about Hillary having her own private server is that it could be hacked, there haven’t been a single of those emails released by third-party actors, so it seems that her private server was seriously more secure than many government or official ones.

  • lucidamente

    Couldn’t he just steal wireless from Harrods?

    • A LITtle Annoyed, Yet ARoused

      What? That’s an unsecured network. He could get hacked!!

  • bubbuhh

    Hillary Clinton had to do it cuz tremendous damage to her by wikileaks ?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9889c7f87d4e91b59725fbed39b5dc84d5533efca45a1af3c797a72d3b6c1dfd.jpg

    • anwisok

      Only 340/198? A shame it’s going to be to close to say she has a mandate.

      • eddi

        Electoral College doesn’t count. Popular vote will count. Unless it is 51-48-1 Clinton-Trump-Johnson. Then still no mandate. Just a womandate. And they don’t count.

  • beatbort

    My fantasized outcome:
    Assange is kicked out of the embassy. He leaves, walks down the street and no one talks to him, no one arrests him, no one even acknowledges his existence. He ends living in a tube station in London and writing slogans on the tunnel wall with his own feces.

    • bubbuhh

      Swedes keep an eye on the embassy cuz they really really want to prosecute on teh rape charge.

      • pstockholm

        Swedes are actually pretty tired of the whole thing. Technically they want to question him, the warrant is for that. There is no prosecution as such, yet, I believe. The irony is he would probably have been released after questioning with orders to return for trial, maybe not even charged.
        He’s right at some level to fear deportation, the Swedes have one or two dishonorable incidents of turning over accused terrorists to CIA, but the chances of that happening are presumably much greater in NATO member UK. Assuming of course the US was even looking to nab him, which is a credible fear, but not a certainty. In 2013 in Sweden, turning over such high-profile case outside extradition procedures? Almost unthinkable. Extradition, if it came to that, also unlikely.

    • The Wanderer

      Sounds like the premise of a Rolling Stones song.

    • Kavefish
  • UNIT Leftenant Anna

    “Julian Assange’s internet access has been cut by an unidentified state actor”

    “Hey, you think maybe if we unplug the router for a day, Wikistinks might bathe or something? Out of boredom?”

    • Erala Contratista

      I’m so sorry, though it was “an unidentified stage actor”.

    • Vienna Woods

      The Brigadier approves your new nym!

      • UNIT Leftenant Anna

        Thanx! :)

    • Stulexington

      I wonder if it’s just the embassy forgot to pay Comcast and a member of the Ecuadorian diplomatic corps is the unidentified state actor.

  • Anna Rompage

    My guess is that it was the work of the Russians in effort to discredit Hillary even more…

  • Msgr_Trump_has_killed_satire

    On the other hand, it must be nice to not have that tweet-whir-click noise from his modem on night and day.
    “Would it hurt you to go outside and go for a jog or bicycle?” — Assange’s mom.

  • memzilla

    BREAKING: Crack Comcast Level 3 IT Support Team Responds To Assange
    .
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4014ed4947bd96a1f0ee2d066296692cddee785957a490c536e583b8dcf7a6bc.jpg

  • Randy Riddle

    So … someone from MI6 just went across the street from the embassy in London and unplugged a router?

    • The Wanderer

      It’s actually plugged into a continuous video loop that shows nothing but Newt Gingrich’s history speeches (the stuff Arpaio used to torture inmates with).

    • Spotts1701

      Well, James Bond has to have something to do between bedding the girl and killing SPECTRE agents.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    I kind of wonder if the state actor might not be Ecuador. It seems as if he would have said otherwise if he could.

    • Jen B_VA

      Makes it look more sinister if he says “state actor” instead of “The guys I am mooching off”

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I wonder if there’s something in Miss Manners about what to do if your houseguest refuses to leave and then invites a madman to squat in your backyard with a nuke.

    • richardgrabman

      Well, of course. Assange lost his major supporter, Foreign Minister Pateño, back in the cabinet shuffle last March. With the concerted efforts by the US and other foreign (i.e. western) powers to undermine the present Ecuadorian government, and with presidential elections in February, removing Assange as a rational for foreign interference in their elections only makes sense.

  • Somewhat related: Apparently Drudge is promising to release a SEX SCANDAL BOMBSHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! about Clinton. I assume that someone must have gotten too close to leaking conservative media’s worst kept secret (Drudge’s homosexuality) again and he’s desperately trying to deflect. That was 48 hours ago, and I still haven’t seen any photos of Hillz and Huma scissoring in the Facebook trending section.

  • Usedtobeyellerdawg

    Has he tried turning it off and on again?

    • Ricky Gay

      sadly, like the womens, it stops at the turning off.

  • Mavenmaven

    I’m guessing Assange is hoping a President Trump will give amnesty to his fellow molesters and assaulters.

    • That’s just the inaugural invites

    • bubbuhh

      That would work better if Trump were running for office in Great Britain or Sweden.

  • jw

    Probably some liberal activists from North Carolina.

  • Maybe the embassy changed the wifi password ’cause Assange hasn’t been paying his share of the goddamn bills, like I’ve had to do with tenants before. Is the SSID mysteriously now called “RentIsDueOnTheFirst”?

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      The new wi-fi password is “julianisamoocher” all lower case no caps.

    • Anna Rompage

      Maybe the embassy banned him from the network for looking up kiddie porn or something…

      • wavicles

        He cracked wise about the Ecuadorian footballers.

        • Msgr_Trump_has_killed_satire

          That’s a hanging offense.

    • DainBramage

      I heard that he always leave a bunch of hair in the shower drain.

  • Joe Beese

    Of course, we would never engage in cyber-fuckery.

    The Obama administration is contemplating an unprecedented cyber covert action against Russia in retaliation for alleged Russian interference in the American presidential election, U.S. intelligence officials told NBC News.

    Current and former officials with direct knowledge of the situation say the CIA has been asked to deliver options to the White House for a wide-ranging “clandestine” cyber operation designed to harass and “embarrass” the Kremlin leadership.

    http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/cia-prepping-possible-cyber-strike-against-russia-n666636

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      I keep waiting for the Kremlin’s home page to be replaced with this
      http://i.imgur.com/L336JPF.jpg

      • That poor kitty

        • TJ Barke

          Kitten is happy, is not western puppet.

        • MynameisBlarney

          That is clearly a proud battle kitty!

          It can’t help that it’s rider is an ass.

      • mailman27

        In Russia, kitten ride you? Wait…

        • Querolous

          Russian man ride pussy, not grab pussy.

    • TJ Barke

      Nation states acting like mean girls in high school.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Same as it ever was.

    • UNIT Leftenant Anna

      Putin pecker selfies. It’s gotta be!

      • Jen B_VA

        Gonna replace all the Russian secret files with the dancing hamster. Non stop loop.

        • UNIT Leftenant Anna

          XD

          • Oblios_Cap

            I, being an Old, had to look up “XD”. At least I have learned something today.

          • UNIT Leftenant Anna

            Read it as “big grin”. :)

        • Astraea

          Putin’s gonna see this next time he logs in

          http://i.makeagif.com/media/9-20-2015/fBA16j.gif

  • JDM

    Julian, have you tried turning it off and on again? Are you sure it’s plugged in?
    Sincerely,
    Roy from IT

  • LarryHoudini

    He’ll be fine. I bet there’s plenty to do at the Ecuadorian Embassy with no internet connection.

    • Nounverb911

      Clean up after the llamas?

    • pstockholm

      Well, they can’t give him much latitude, that’s for sure.

      • bobbert

        Oy

      • Cindyinencinitas

        They grow incredible roses there. Maybe he could prune them? No gloves, though.

  • limberrat

    It seems rather suspicious that Pamela Anderson shows up and then his internet gets cut. Wait…did the Ecuadorian embassy catch Julian “researching” Pamela on the internet and cut him off?

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    That’s OK, they’re back to whispering misleading and false leaks to reporters about emails again. And then issuing false accusations based on their false leaks.

    Because stupid.

    • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

      “Pay attention to meeeeeeeeee!” about sums it up with Assange. He clearly hasn’t found anything substantive in a long while. Too bad he barked up the wrong tree. If he’d just scratched the surface of all the shit Trump has done, the world might actually care.

  • Johnnymoreno

    Assange is looking kind of pale and sickly. He needs to get out more.

    • Nounverb911

      Low energy too, also.

    • Ricky Gay

      ha!

    • JHan

      He needs some fresh air

      *straight face*

      • Johnnymoreno

        Sweden is nice, this time of year…

        • Villago Delenda Est

          A moose bit my sister, once…

  • Deplorable-Shocked&Amazed

    Wow, proof of complicity and pay for play, your basic albeit in a massive scale, political corruption is a “stale nothing burger”. Really?

    • Regret

      Seriously.
      No link, chapter, page number, anything?

      Even the most rational people only respond to arguments when they are more than just statements. Could you actually give evidence or something?

    • Shibusa

      One wonders if any of your favorite FNC “journalists” actually read the hacked emails. Because if they had, they’d surely have noticed that Huma Abedin was tasked with screening out favor seekers, and she did. There’s zero evidence at all that being a donor to the Clinton Foundation helped anyone out.

      • Stulexington

        Reading source material? Surely you jest.

      • mailman27

        Did Huma scissor them out? (I already tried the veal, etc)

    • Jen B_VA

      erm, yeah there was no proof of complicity or pay for play and what the hell is “Basic Albeit in a massive scale” because I think it is the new name of my fusion rock/polka band

      • Stulexington

        I thought it was a Prince Albert without the royal treatment.

      • bobbert

        Comma misuse, I think. I.e., “basic, albeit on a massive scale, political corruption…”.

        Doesn’t come close to “you simply ass, fuck nuts”.

      • Logic of Color

        I think there are some punctuation liberties taken. “Basic corruption on a massive scale” is what I think he/she means

    • Big Boppa
    • Arolpin

      Let me guess. You think Your God-Emperor’s new suit is the classiest, richest, best-looking suit ever. Only those who really love him can see it. He’s certainly going to Make America Grope Again. Someone got paid to give a speech, and gave a speech, and got paid. I know that your the Orange Shitstain would not pay, but that’s why he’s losing terribly, and even those who he thought were his friends are donating to Hillary. (BTW, real pay-to-play is what Drumpf and Bondi did about his scam of a poor excuse for a University.) Fuck off and then fuck off again.

    • JHan

      what it shows is that the Clintons enjoyed a sphere of influence – THAT is deserving of critique if you want to complain about Elites doing what Elites always do- and blaming Clinton for that alone is absurd.

    • mancityfooty

      Proof?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      You can assert it all you want, assmunch of Assmunch, but without the slightest shred of evidence, you’re not going to get much traction here.

  • Kavefish

    :::TELEPHONE INTERCEPT:::

    John Kerry: Say, Rafe?

    Rafael Correa: Yeah?

    J.K.: So, yanno that nine billion Chevron thing?

    R.C.: :::fuming:::grrr….

    J.K.: Howzabout a trade.

    R.C.: Hmmm… Go on…

    J.K.: Kick Julian to the curb, and we get them to pay up.

    R.C.: Done!

  • Shibusa
  • SuspectedDemocrat

    Well I guess you’ll just have to read a book then.

  • bookish
  • azeyote

    hold on a minute – how come a big time hacker dump can’t find someone to hack onto a server ? he’s highly over rated –

  • TheGrandWaz00

    I bet the Trump campaign’s e-mails would be more delicious than Podesta’s risotto.

    • Crank Tango

      I’m picturing endless Nobama Watermelons and fried chicken.

      • Nounverb911

        Fuzzy Zoeller libelz!

    • Nounverb911
      • mancityfooty

        maybe we’ll find out more about the fire

        • Crank Tango

          I always wondered how much sugar to put in a molotov cocktail. I tried using simple syrup, but it didn’t work so well.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Oh my. They certainly are having a very specific kind of bad luck these days, aren’t they.

        • Oblios_Cap

          McCrory must be getting pretty desperate.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Karma can be a very cruel bitch.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            I was thinking maybe the kind where the bullet enters the foot at a perpendicular angle going downwards, but we’ll find out eventually.

      • UNIT Leftenant Anna

        “Attention – you need to change your billing information for SexxyGrammasdotcom.”

  • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

    Podesta gets to cook with the amazing Daniel Boulud?!! Lucky bastard.

  • JHan

    ” “Chuck Todd Is For Some Reason Considered A Good Journalist,” ” _ — HahahahahHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHahahahahaHAHAHAHahahahahaaaa

  • bubbuhh

    Court Again Kicks Governor Gollum in the Nuts, Turns Out His Pockets and Steals the Key The Polls

    “It is illogical, irrational, and patently bizarre for the State of Florida to withhold the opportunity to cure from mismatched-signature voters while providing that same opportunity to no-signature voters,” he wrote. “And in doing so, the State of Florida has categorically disenfranchised thousands of voters arguably for no reason other than they have poor handwriting or their handwriting has changed over time.”

    He ordered the defendant, Secretary of State Ken Detzner, to direct elections supervisors in Florida’s 67 counties to notify voters with mismatched signatures about the problem and allow them to submit a signed affidavit to their county elections office identifying themselves and attesting that they were the ones who voted. The same mechanism is already in place for voters who don’t sign their ballots.

    “In our democracy, those who vote decide everything; those who count the vote decide nothing,” Walker wrote. Then he referred to a landmark U.S. Supreme Court ruling on obscenity that quipped, “I know it when I see it.”

    “Likewise, this Court knows disenfranchisement when it sees it and it is obscene.”

    http://www.tampabay.com/news/politics/stateroundup/citing-obscene-disenfranchisement-federal-judge-hands-florida-democrats/2298409

    • Wow. Rick Scott is bad at being Voldemort

    • VforV, I’m with Her!

      Thank Dog! We’ve got enough to deal with, contending with nutcase poll watchers.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Keep on kicking! We know the target is small, eventually your big toe will find it!

  • SeekingBarbie

    Rant! The hacking and release of Hillary & Co emails makes my head explode. While much ado is made about mostly nothing, I would lay bets that Trump & Co emails would be full of vitriol, vulgarity, dirty tricks and generally utter nastiness. I don’t understand the double-think that says it’s wrong to hack/steal, but it’s fine to reveal it after the fact, especially when it has been done for the express purpose of interfering with our elections.

    • Stulexington

      Honestly, I’d be more scared if it wasn’t. If it was like “okay, so for the next speech I was thinking of paralleling AH’s 3rd speech, with a little more arm movement when I’m talking about immigrants. Oh and I think the chanting of ‘lock her up’ is really having a good overall effect so I’m going to start that up again” I think I’d actually start loosing sleep.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Hell, the emails of Roger Stone, ratfucker for half a fucking century, alone, would set the world on fire.

      He’s making his move to shiv Donald, btw, and cash out on a tell-all book. Either that, or he’s had a visit from the FBI and he’s shitting his pants.

      • Jen B_VA

        why not both?

  • Scooby

    I was in Ecuador for a month and all anyone wanted to talk to me about was what a shit muffin Donald Trump was.

    • beingreleased

      How do you say “shit muffin” in Ecuadorean?

      • eddi

        muffin de mierda

      • Scooby

        Molette de mierda

      • pstockholm

        el Donald

      • MynameisBlarney

        “sheeet mooofin” -in a very loud voice. Keep repeating until they understand.
        Use Peggy Hill Spanish if necessary. But they should all speak American anyway.

        I’ll just see myself out now…

    • eddi

      The man is killing the tourist trade. Americans are too embarrassed to be seen.

  • Hblanton

    We all read what we want. Hear what we want. SEE what we want when it comes to our candidate of choice. Not big news. What is bothersome about Clinton is how coolly, methodically she chooses to lie..outright. How careful and scripted she is..yet, when she speaks against the wind…when she “shifts” her positions, then it is we who are wrong? We misheard. We misunderstood. We are the paranoid ones. When what is being revealed (pay for play, DNC in her pocket, cozy relationships with Wall Street) is what we were saying all along. If you’re going to choose Clinton as your candidate and ignore/downplay her bad days or shortcomings, the least you could do as a human being is not gaslight your listeners or readers into thinking they are wrong when they aren’t.

    Sincerely.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I’m sorry, I believe I may have missed the part of your remarkably non-specific accusation where you demonstrated that you represent anyone but yourself.

    • UNIT Leftenant Anna

      Buh-bye *blocked*

      I guess these assholes are trying the “you’re doing it tooz” playbook.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        They probably won’t be back. There are a lot of drivebys going on these days. Less ground troops than they pretend, too many places the message isn’t getting to.

        • UNIT Leftenant Anna

          Yep. Those Trump checks might stop clearing, almost any day now.

          • Kavefish

            Oops! Too late!

    • Astraea

      But has she ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon?

    • Rags

      Sincerely. Go away,

    • Jen B_VA

      She is not lying. Outright or inright.
      So there is that!
      Also, no, we all do not read what we want to read. Some of us read fact and act accordingly. Try it sometime, it is fun!

    • vivian

      Actually, the very fact that I read your post contradicts your first point, second point and third point. You may choose a bubble; I choose reality. If things have got a little stinky in your bubble, maybe you should rethink your diet.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Once again, objection. Information not in evidence, with no support. And the other guy is fucking going to town in the lie department.

    • SeekingBarbie

      My goodness, such healthy self-esteem to believe that a group of strangers are interested in what an unknown poster with no credibility has to say! Kudos to your mommy.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Your concern is duly noted.

  • lovecrumb

    According to Wonkette lying, corruption, and cover-ups make you an adult — not only are the lot of you proto-fascists, but are totally unaware of how loathsome you are to people to whom integrity and truth are bedrock to a functional society. If you uncover corruption, pay to play, and proof of lying and duplicity, you deserve whatever the totalitarian security state throws at you? That is your stance. Disgusting.

    • MynameisBlarney
      • lovecrumb

        Perfect, love the level of discourse here when you aren’t circle jerking each other.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Expecting a civil debate after you come in here and insult us right off the bat…and now your offended?

          Go piss up a rope, asshole.
          No one here owes you a fucking thing.

          • lovecrumb

            Pass the lube, neo-libs.

          • MynameisBlarney

            No lube for you, dear heart.
            We’re gonna run it up in ya slow-like, and dry.

          • lovecrumb

            I’ve got enough spit for the lot of ya.

          • The Wanderer

            So you’re into that?

          • MynameisBlarney

            He just admitted he’s a very eager power bottom.
            Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

          • lovecrumb

            I’m into truth, justice, and the American way. Fuck me, right?

          • MynameisBlarney

            Like hell you are.

          • lovecrumb

            http://www.debate.org/opinions/is-it-possible-to-criticize-the-government-and-be-patriotic It is my duty to oppose lap dogs and sycophants who cheer the destruction of the principle of honesty as the currency of legitimate debate.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            How’s that going for you?

          • lovecrumb

            As expected.

          • vivian

            What’s it again, the soft tyranny of low expectations? Something like that.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Well, except for the being taken seriously as the progressive you’re cosplaying, but you’re not very good at that. You must be used to it.

          • lovecrumb

            I don’t expect anything from you, just sick of Wonkette’s bullshit.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Then it seems genuinely counterintuitive to keep coming back to read it, assuming you do. It’s almost as if the person arguing for restricting the speech of others is, well, not Wonkette.

          • MynameisBlarney
          • vivian

            So when the milk goes off do you drink the whole carton?

          • lovecrumb

            I never remember not to take a full sniff when determining when my dairy products have gone off.

          • vivian

            You never remember = you always forget.
            So you always forget not to take a sniff.
            Could your reasoning or your syntax be any more backward?
            Or to put it in terms you might understand,
            Is it not impossible that those non-dysfunctions of cognitive processes which don’t belong to others and the lack of not discordant verbiage be not unfucked?

            ProTip: I always sniff the milk before I drink it.

          • lovecrumb

            Next on the agenda: the difference between who and whom, and can “they” be grammatically correct as a singular pronoun!

          • vivian

            You’ve already demonstrated that you’re fucked in the head and
            you don’t really seem to have anything else to accomplish here, so I’ll sign off.
            But happy trolling!

          • eddi

            You ain’t getting Latvia back.

          • Oblios_Cap

            Careful! You’ll get charged with “hooliganism”.

          • eddi

            So it’s not patriotic to question the orange-faced freak you’re backing?

          • lovecrumb

            Trump is a buffoon with the ability to permanently dismember the Republican coalition. That is not something I oppose.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Then you oppose Donald Trump.

            Just come out and say that, or we can toss you into the bit bucket as intellectually dishonest and an overused scum bag.

          • lovecrumb

            I oppose Donald Trump morally and conservative politics in general. I support overthrowing the two-party duopoly that has a deadlocked Congress only capable of passing legislation that favors socialism for Big Money, and capitalism for the rest of the peasants. Several activists I know are not standing in the way of Trump, as he will destroy the Republican Party if elected. That is a net plus, in my book.

          • vivian

            AH, so a self-centered idiot then. Great, thanks for the profile.

          • lovecrumb

            Yes, ensuring future generations aren’t trapped in a two party system that has failed us all is very selfish.

          • vivian

            When it entails the destruction of the very thing you purport to want to save, then, yes, it is.

          • lovecrumb

            Clinton has already promised war with Iran, we are throwing missiles at Yemen, guaranteeing war with Iran and Russia. And yet Trump will blow things up? Which things? Things that are worse than starting WW3, or at best a new cold war with Russia?

          • vivian

            Your diet of information seems to be warped. If you seriously contend that Clinton is more likely to start WW3 than Trump you are an imbecile. If you think economic ruin is the salvation of our nation, then you are an imbecile. In fact, I’m having a hard time coming up with a scenario that doesn’t end with that same conclusion. But please do continue to masturbate on all of us with your shitty fantasies of the End of the World. I’m sure that will lead us all to a better solution.

          • lovecrumb

            It has already started. ISIS funded by Saudis, who admit to financing radicals to avoid any Arab Spring from reaching the Saudi monarchy. Pentagon spent $540 million on green screen propaganda to radicalize support for al-Queda. 5 trillion spent on the war on terror, net result: al Queda and ISIS are now in Syria, the UN has told us to get out of Syria, yet we are about to instate a no-fly zone there, embroiling us in conflict with Russia. We are inciting Iran in Yemen. This is already done.

          • MynameisBlarney
          • lovecrumb

            Which one of those things hasn’t already happened?

          • vivian

            Trick question, as there are more than one.

          • lovecrumb

            Once my Dad said my cattiness was my worst trait. I now believe him.

          • lovecrumb
          • vivian

            EVERYTHING is a plot. I mean everything. Every. Single. Thing. PLOT. For instance did you know that Hillary is an automaton controlled by Watson? Bet you didn’t know that, did you? And you claim to do your homework. Please. Scratch the surface and what do you see? Watson is the sidekick of Sherlock Holmes. Sure-Lock. Get it? Subliminal messages to the media about the election. Watson is telling them not to dissent or they will be assigned to covering the “election” in Crimea with nothing more than a faulty iPad and a Galaxy7. Galaxy 7 – get it? The Galaxy 7 are the reptilian overlords who run Watson. That’s why there’s a push for Solar power. Because oil is the fomented blood of dinosaurs who were giant reptiles. NOT COOL! So bingo! Solar Power. Sound familiar? But what about Solar power? It’s made from solar panels. Panles. That’s right, panels. Obummers death panels. They’re ALREADY HERE! The so-called solar panels are reflecting cosmic rays into homes all across the world to control our thoughts. But you already knew that. What you didn’t know is that the ‘thoughts’ are nothing more than zeros and ones, that’s right, digital code. And what is the meaning of this code? If you decipher it it’s a seemingly endless battle between things that are (1’s) and things that are not (0’s). This “code” is the living Apocalypse, the battle between Somethingness and Nothingness! But who will prevail? Someone will win. And there’s your answer right there: Some One will win. Not Sum Zero, Some One. And to the victors belong the spoils. Recognize that one? It’s the spoiled children who’ve been taught to blindly follow their reptilian overlords. How do I know? What happens when I explain all this to them? *crickets* That’s right silence. But is it silence? Because crickets are noisy. And the favorite food of reptiles. I think you can see where this all leads, or CAN you?

          • lovecrumb

            I’m not here to convince you, just to provide evidence for my claims. Hope you don’t have any daughters, who are now eligible for the draft for the endless wars you are complicit in enabling. http://now.org/resource/issue-advisory-women-and-the-draft-moving-two-steps-closer-to-equality/

          • vivian

            Simpleton.

          • vivian

            “Not here to convince, just to provide evidence.” To what end? Wishing death on my family and blaming me for it seems like a strange way to make your, uh, ‘case’. I get it. You’re pure, and the rest of the world is corrupt. Why don’t you fuck off to Bible camp where that mindset is encouraged?

          • lovecrumb

            To what end? Because I used to admire the commentariat at Wonkette, and dream of the day that snark could finally end Republican trolls’ thread derailment. Then, I realized that liberals like you, liberals like I used to be, convinced of their own goodness and the justification of means to an end Machiavellian approach to the truth are the main ballast of corruption and group think.

          • vivian

            Speak for yourself numbnuts.

          • lovecrumb

            I am not pure, I have just reached the end of my rope. I don’t want to be alive in this world of deceit and war and killing the planet. Letting you know is my last fingernail scratching on the surface of the chalkboard, across the equation two legs are good, four legs are bad. The Democrats have become everything that made the Republicans so repellant. http://www.george-orwell.org/animal_farm/index.html

          • mailman27

            Now that you’ve explained it, it’s all so SIMPLE!11!!!!!11!!!

          • vivian

            Let me know when you need the Kleenex.

            I read on the internet that the Pentagon spent $540 on green-screen technology to convince you that planes can fly. As we all know, Bernoulli’s principle can’t be proven and the only reason so-called “planes” don’t fall out of the sky is because we all believe in this “flight” thing. You are unduly credulous using information of dubious provenance to convince yourself of what you have already decided. That is a futile and pointless exercise, but if that is your Sisyphian hill to climb, so be it. Just don’t ask for my help pushing the rock.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Shitty liar is shitty.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Exqueeze me, but can you provide a citation for Clinton’s promise of a war with Iran?

            I might point out that those Yemeni rebels threw some missiles at us, first, and we’re just sitting there in international waters minding our own business. That’s not the Pueblo out there, you know.

          • lovecrumb

            http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-politics-iran-idUSN2224332720080422
            http://www.nbcnews.com/id/24246275/ns/msnbc-countdown_with_keith_olbermann/t/clinton-warns-iran-us-nuclear-response
            https://youtu.be/xvhBoF_pCHo
            Pence, Kaine, Trump and Clinton all promised military solutions in the debates.
            There are multiple instances of her promising to send Iran to the stone age.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Just how are you ensuring that?
            By posting stupid shit on the internet?

          • lovecrumb

            I need only to let you know that your smug glee has been bothering me for months, and as the installation of Clinton proceeds, I am not going to be quiet about it.

          • MynameisBlarney

            So…
            Ya got nuthin’….do ya?
            Comrade.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            You know, if you want to avoid people putting on headphones to ignore you, you might try increasing the signal to noise ratio, because right now, it totally sucks. You’re acting like a baby looking for a cookie.

          • MynameisBlarney

            You’re fucking tedious.
            And dim.
            Very very dim.

          • Kavefish

            The wind coming off all the page-turning it took to construct this garble from that used 1972 edition PoliSci textbook was enough to blow-dry my hair.

            Thanks!

          • lovecrumb

            1972 was probably the last year that political science as a field existed as anything but propaganda propping up the false notion that there is anything resembling checks and balances in this corrupt oligarchy.

          • Kavefish

            :::chews gum – pops bubble:::

            Uh huh…

            :::pops another bubble:::

            Buzz-word-salad is just as point-and-laughable as the garden-variety kind. You can’t pour a different brand of dressing on top and pretend it isn’t.

          • malsperanza

            Excellent! Let’s have a multiparty system, like in Italy. No gridlock there!

            Or a three-party system like in the UK. That works out brilliantly for progressives!

            You shallow, ignorant puppy.

          • lovecrumb

            They now have Jeremy Corbin in the UK, Bernie Bro Larry Sanders is running as a Green, I think UK is getting on the ball. https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2015/sep/12/jeremy-corbyn-wins-labour-party-leadership-election
            I don’t think anyone can figure out what is going on in Italy. But let’s use that to assuage the notion that our political system is giving us Plutocrat A vs. Plutocrat B.

          • malsperanza

            Dude, have you noticed that Corbyn’s party is not in power? And that the Conservatives have no opposition at all, because that’s how a parliamentary system works? And that Labour is fragmenting and completely ineffective? And that the Lib Dems are now no more than mini-Tories?

            Corbyn is fantastic, if you don’t mind the fact that he is not in government, but sitting on the sidelines. Other than that, whoopie!

            I’ve no idea what the rest of your comment means. But I assume it translates into something like “multiparty systems do not ever elect plutocrats, except all the times when they do.”

          • MynameisBlarney

            oh…well…in that case…you should be opposing yourself shouldn’t you?

          • vivian

            He already is. He gets off on friction.

          • MynameisBlarney

            He’s…frotting himself?

            How is….I can’t even…

          • Kavefish

            heh. heh. heh.

            You said “doody.”

            heh.

          • The Wanderer

            No, Kal-El.

          • SeekingBarbie

            You know who else was into that?

          • MynameisBlarney

            Mel Torme?

          • Carpe Vagenda

            You’re rude and abusive, and you’re not being taken seriously because of it.

          • lovecrumb

            Truth is abuse! War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            and bot is tiresome.

          • lovecrumb

            Right, I opened my account in 2009 specifically to have this conversation.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            I’m quite sure you can maintain tediousness over time. I have faith in my fellow cognizances.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Suuuuuuure you did.

          • SeekingBarbie

            How very prescient. Are you banned from casinos?

          • MynameisBlarney

            Oh for fucks sake.

          • vivian

            Well, you’d know… about that last point anyhow.

          • vivian

            Seems like you’ve already got that covered.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Objection! Not in evidence!

          • vivian

            Spit and bile are different things.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I’m sure you have plenty of practice expectorating for all your power tops.

          • Jen B_VA

            Did this just turn into your porn fantasy?
            TLM? IS THAT YOU?

          • eddi

            Muscle finally came out and is living happily in a gay commune in the foothills of the Sierra Nevadas.

          • mailman27

            Where is that guy?

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Bless your heart.

          • The Wanderer

            Be warned – I add ground glass to the Vaseline.

          • vivian

            You’re hungry? You know there ARE other things you could eat.

          • malsperanza

            If you’re looking to be fucked in the ass by neo-liberals, try one of those Christian dating sites.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Well, apparently it piqued your interest enough to keep you from moving on to a lower-information site where you might confuse someone with this bullshit, so I’d say it’s probably exactly the right level of discourse.

        • Cindyinencinitas
        • The Wanderer

          Are you volunteering to be the pivot person?

        • Oblios_Cap

          It’s your turn in the barrel, baby.

        • malsperanza

          Here at Wonkette, we frequently have thoughtful, substantive, in-depth debates with people of integrity and goodwill whose views differ from our own, with the dedicated aim of achieving a mutual commitment to selflessly furthering the best interests of our community and nation.

          Well, that and dick jokes.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      First-time caller, no-time listener.

    • beingreleased

      All we want is for the rivers to run red with the blood of the damned. You act like that’s a bad thing.

    • Marion in Savannah

      OOOOH — our first contestant this week for Dear Shit Fer Brains!

    • MynameisBlarney

      Your projection is showing…

    • Crank Tango

      Keep fuckin that Putin, crumb.

    • h4rr4r

      We are not trump supporters, you have us confused with someone else.

    • Big Boppa
    • The Wanderer

      Hi! You seem to be a smart person. We keep someone like you around to feed the Pantomime Horse.

    • UNIT Leftenant Anna

      Fuck that strawman, make him beg for more.

    • TheGrandWaz00

      Truly, stolen emails are the height of integrity.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        The forging thing adds a particularly noble touch.

    • FauxAntocles

      Vlad, is that you?

    • SeekingBarbie

      Where did you get the idea we’re adults? It says right at the top of the page we’re a Nasty Vile Little Snark Mob.

      • The Wanderer

        Grow old; never grow up.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Never give up! Never surrender!

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            There are still votes that haven’t been counted in California!

    • Jen B_VA

      The emails? Uncovered none of that.
      None.
      None of that at all. Not lying or duplicity, not pay for play or any of that.
      So yep! That’s the stance!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      OK, I’m having a Poe crisis on this one. One one hand, it’s well written. On the other hand, there’s that last word.

    • Stulexington

      ooooh, a litany of name calling, how very convincing. Do go on, I might be more amicable to your point of view if you were to accuse me of being in the tank for Hillrod, or perhaps a know nothing libritard. Or have you updated that particular insult? I’d be so very convinced with it’s latest iteration.

    • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

      Have some proto-risotto, and lighten up, Francis.

      • laughingnome

        Proto-risotto is just plain rice, right?

    • Logic of Color

      Fascist? Oh right, I forgot we changed it. HEY ALL, fascist means the other thing now!

      • Kavefish

        Thanx!

        :::updates decoder ring:::

        • MynameisBlarney

          DeCODER ring!?!

          *blinks slowly*

          I’ve been using smoke signals and carrier pigeons!

          No damn WONDER I’m outta the loop!

    • Kavefish

      You should feel bad for tarnishing such a pretty avatar by posting this.

      • lovecrumb

        I used to believe my government was a tool to wield policy for the betterment of society based on a fair system of representation, too.

    • malsperanza

      Aww, thank you! Of course, this would be more meaningful if it came from The Steinbot herself, but still, very kind.

      • lovecrumb

        I’m pissing in the wind, I know. Thanks for commenting.

  • Nounverb911

    Breaking!
    This just in: Nation afraid Trump ISN’T taking drugs.

    https://twitter.com/NewYorker/status/788035756761706496

    • DainBramage

      Somewhere, I read comments by a speech pathologist that acute anxiety can make people sniff like he has in the debates. So, it might not be coke. That doesn’t rule out other things he might take, of course.

      • Astraea

        It’s really the accusation that Clinton is doing drugs that’s convinced me something is up.

        • Stulexington

          Yeah, he’s such a projectionist it would be irresponsible not to speculate.

          • SeekingBarbie

            He probably doesn’t know that coke remains in his system for days and weeks.

        • DainBramage

          He is all about projection, so yes.

      • Stulexington

        I’ve also heard musings about beta blockers and anti-anxiety meds.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Carrie Fisher, who has a PhD in Bolivian Marching Powder, and therefore knows about these things, says that it’s an “ayup!” on the coke.

      • malsperanza

        He just sniffs like that because he is gross.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Donald being on drugs would be a very convenient excuse for the auro of fuckedupness he has about him. However, I willing to accept that he acts the way he does because he really is a bugfuck crazy and stupendously stupid man.

  • Astraea

    http://www.filmjackets.com/FILM_JACKETS/pump_up_the_volume/putv-005.jpg

    You see I didn’t plan it like this. My dumb dad got me this shortwave radio set so I could just talk to my buddies back east. But I couldn’t reach anybody. So I just imagined I was talking to nobody, I imagined nobody listening. Maybe I imagined there would be one person out there… And then one day I woke up, and I realized I was never going to be normal, so I said, “Fuck it.” I said, “So be it.” And Happy Harry Hard-OnWikiLeaks was born.

  • Objectifer

    Did you try turning it off and back on again?

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      The IT Crowd lays it down.

      https://youtu.be/5UT8RkSmN4k

    • DainBramage

      Best reply:
      Customer: “No, I can’t find the power button.”
      IT: “It should on the front.”
      Customer: “It’s too dark. The power went out.”

      • berkeleyfarm

        A tale frequently told on one of the tech support groups I read

  • tihond

    But now how will he view his obscure niche pr0n tastes on reddit? Allegedly.

    • The Wanderer

      What sort of obscure niche porn? Asking for a friend.

      • tihond

        AOT, K

  • TheDogAteMyVote

    Wonders if there is any lobster risotto in the break room vending machine…..

  • JHan

    Julian overplayed his hand. He shouldn’t be surprised.

  • Ray E.

    The CIA Received It Straight Again. This Is actually the Irrefutable Evidence …

    https://web.facebook.com/americanpost.I/app/137541772984354/

    This is actually The CIA’s a lot of shocking claim but,

    Nevertheless the mainstream media really isn’t pointing out a term about it!

    Exactly what are they actually attempting to hide?

    I am actually sending this to all my good friends, family members and patriot siblings …

    As swiftly as I may …Considering that it’s the ONLY video recording I have actually found that uncovers the “Oct Shock” no person is actually talking about …

    This is actually greater as well as even more risky compared to ISIS could possibly have ever ended up being.

    And it is actually gone to YOUR area …

    MEANS quicker in comparison to you assume.P.S. A number of The U.S.A.’s richest are currently spending dozens lots of bucks to organize this …

    When you watch this presentation you’ll recognize why.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I’ve been trying to figure out if this one is a phishing scam or some sort of attempted political message. I guess there’s no reason it can’t be both.

      • vivian

        I think Vlad’s crew are using Google translate…

      • Ima Witstüp

        Someone trying to get for free what the people buying the click-bait ads are paying for. I expect someone with a pixel mop will be along to clean it up soon.

        • VforV, I’m with Her!

          Are Wonkers allergic to flagging? It’s What’s Done at the other place I haunt …

          • FauxAntocles

            We have a bad habit of playing with our food.

          • VforV, I’m with Her!

            **passes around paper towels**

        • Carpe Vagenda

          My ad free lapsed, and I’m waiting for my payment to hit. This is brutal.

    • Crank Tango

      Is the “Oct Shock” 4 tentacles in the pink and 4 in the stink?

      • Ima Witstüp

        Oh my!

        • ahughes798

          No, the real Oct Shock was a bunch of dumb American tourists in Greece who caught a very rare six-legged cephalopod(octupus), then ate it. Only one other had ever been caught.

    • Anna Rompage

      Hmmm, for some reason, I’ve very wary of clicking on that link… Perhaps it’s the funky dialect, like it was written by someone who does not know how to speak English, or that this person seems to think “spending dozens lots of bucks” is suppose to sound like a few hundred dollars for the 1% is a lot of money…

      • VforV, I’m with Her!

        I don’t have time to click it, since My freind Ahsley is makeing 98$ an Hour useing this One Weird Truck to earn money from Home you can To!

      • WampusKat

        Heh. He ran something through Google Translate I’m guessin’

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      I’ll say this for you, Ray… your English is better than my Russian.

    • Anna Rompage

      Sweet little baby jesus, who let Sarah Palin on the interwebs again…

    • Anna Rompage

      Herb, clean up on aisle 4…

    • Alan

      Okay, so I’m going back and forth, back and forth. Is this HUGE snark or is your tin foil hat too tight? Since you can’t form a grammatically correct third grade sentence I’m going with the latter. Anyone else?

      • Maree Martin

        It’s why Trump’s supporters think he’ll be so YUUUUUGE for education. None of them made it through 3rd grade.

    • Jen B_VA

      As swiftly as I may …Considering that it’s the ONLY video recording I have actually found that uncovers the “Oct Shock” no person is actually talking about …
      Well, no one talking about it might explain why there is nothing on it?
      Just sayin

    • MynameisBlarney

      Oh for the love of all that is good and decent in this world…
      What a load of copy-pasta bullshit!

      On your downtime do you also spam those bullshit “My friends moms uncles daughter in law’s co-worker just earned $9880.00 by doing this one weird trick!” spambot ads?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I wouldn’t click on that with YOUR dick.

    • bubbuhh
      • Kavefish

        Kazon Libel!!

      • Grokenstein

        Jiffy-Pop’s ready!! (Or should I go with a baked potato reference?)

      • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

        Needz moar tinfoil!

      • phoenix00

        That’s not a tinfoil hat as much as a tinfoil afro.

        • ahughes798

          It’s like if Link from Room 222 was made out of aluminum foil.

    • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

      I’LL TAKE TWO DOZEN OCT SHOCKERS!

      (Wait, are these the quick drying pads, or the boner pills?)

    • Vincent Ricola

      Well I’m convinced.

    • Pepper Jack

      Tell me more, Ivan.

    • rebecca

      Patriot Siblings ACTIVATE!

      Form of an ICE PUTIN!

      Shape of Eagle Trump!

      • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

        I laughed, but not sure how many of “the youngs” are gonna get that one.

    • if you can’t trust facebook.com/americanpost.l, who CAN you trust?

      • Charles Wolf

        Wumplups

    • Kavefish

      Actually, the hazelfuffer investigation regargle after the backflip cornstalk, grub. Remember, though — pealzip replops finagle the gloopguar dribble-drabble fom-fom electro, right? We have it on good authority that nullupsnaz and whumplups arranged the whole skumpshar mu-lobz-lots puh zampnoz. Even so, dewnou crups lifted this pondarhl wiknutz faloogralory schmerpdoltz. In which case, rognotze bull might still glipit into pieces. So, good luck with that!

      • going4baroque

        link to your sources please

      • Charles Wolf

        It’s spelled wumplups not whumplups.
        There is no h in the American version.

        • Kavefish

          Sorry! Fat finghers, dontcha know.. :-(

          EDIT: …dammit! Not again!

      • cat cafe

        BUT WHAT ABOUT THE FLABBERGASTING and the STRUTS! Everyone knows they were part of the devious scrimshaw and the cabal of bargglepops! Flabberghazi!!!11!!!

        • Kavefish

          You took the words right out of my mouth.

      • runfastandwin

        And WHO could argue with that?

    • Serai 1
      • Ricky Gay

        Ray E. The E is for Idiot

        • Serai 1

          No, no. The E is for Epsilon. Semi-Moron in this case, I’d say.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I know. The stupid…this same moranic link has been banhammered numerous times because it’s clearly trolling.

      • WampusKat

        Used Google Translate? Second time today I’ve seen the like in a comment section.

        It’s either bored Sarah Palin or: “Salutin’ Putin: inside a Russian troll house”
        https://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/apr/02/putin-kremlin-inside-russian-troll-house

  • I’d like to think that somewhere in the bowels of Langley, there is a special PsyOps division of Prank Wars that the CIA has just unleashed.

    Soon, in the Kremlin, Putin will notice that someone keeps moving his stapler on his desk 1 inch to the right every day. Or all of his scissors have been replaced with the opposite hand version. Or he keeps getting phone calls from someone during dinner time that ask him if he’s happy with his long distance plan.

    • The Wanderer

      Or his desk keeps getting taller?

    • Bear OmNomNom

      All the Toys ‘R’ Us locations in Moscow will have their signs re-fitted with a forward-facing R…

  • Hblanton

    The Bernie Sander’s supporters had a rather large voice during the Spring about how biased the DNC was for Hillary…they were told they were bitter and paranoid. Turns out they were right..and now it’s “oh..nothing to see here!” Lol

    • JHan

      Why should that have surprised anybody? I mean did you even bother to read the emails in question? The SHOCKING EMAILS involving low level staffers who were peeved that Sanders wanted to sue the DNC? The same Sanders who only joined the party last year?

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      I am shocked — shocked! — to find politicking going on in this establishment.

      • Since it’s the Dems, i WAS surprised to see it was organized

        • Jen B_VA

          It really was not that organized XD Just slightly less chaotic than normal so by comparison it seemed organized.

        • Astraea

          Nothing like a fascist wanna-be dictator to get your ass in gear.

      • ZangoCrudmonger

        Harumph!

    • beingreleased

      Why, I’m beginning to think the DNC is not going to help to elect Trump at all.

      • Astraea

        RIGGED!!!!

      • Stulexington

        Unfair!

    • Jen B_VA

      Lemme guess, you were not one of them? Because that was not spring when that started, that was summer.
      Which you would know, if you supported Bernie. But I digress.

      • Crank Tango

        Hey they’re just paid to post comments, not actually understand shit.

    • The Witch of Endor

      Seriously, if you’re going to troll at least learn *some* of the basics. Fuckin’ Millennials.

    • churl

      WATB away.

    • RobKanC

      Ooh. Is this what a troll looks like. Let me try handling him. go pound sand, idiot.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Fail troll is fail.

    • malsperanza

      Dude, you are bitter and paranoid. Not Sanders supporters, just you.

      Sanders supporters are voting for Hillary. And if we can swing the Senate, Sanders may find himself chair of the Banking Committee.

      Unless, of course, idiots like you stay home and sulk, or write in Tinkerbell, or something.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Nothing to see but a turgid, throbbing nothingburger.

    • Serai 1
  • Mike Janowski

    I ate at Cafe Daniel several years ago…meh.

  • JHan

    Remember when Wikileaks used to do the right thing and redact personal info of folks not in their cross hairs? Remember how they never used to editorialize their data dumps? Remember ??? Those days are gone.

    They’ve lost the moral highground. Tolerance Level – 0.

    • Ray in VT

      Yeah, what happened with that?

      • Astraea

        They used to filter it through journalists. Now they filter it through the Kremlin.

        • Ray in VT

          I don’t see the value in dumping out people’s phone numbers and SSNs.

          • Astraea

            They’re just dumping it too fast to scrub it and they don’t give a fuck because their purpose isn’t to get good info out, it’s to get it all out and make it difficult to sift through, so the media relies on their prepared talking points. I suspect. I think it was Assange who expressed annoyance that it took too long to go through the documents and verify and scrub them, in an interview several months ago.

          • pstockholm

            That attitude goes way back unfortunately, and tarnished Wikileaks back before it was Assange’s plaything.

          • malsperanza

            Because he’s so busy these days?

    • Loki1001

      Wikileaks did the stupidest thing it could possibly do: have overt ties to a specific government. Now an email drop isn’t simply an embarrassing circumstance for the actors involved but an international incident with a hostile power. Talk about a quick way to get the entire enterprise shutdown (along with any clone sites trying to pop up).

  • JVisconti

    There is always the homing pigeon coops on the embassy roof if you want to get a word out, Jules.

  • samrockton

    try control alt delete also too

    • Ima Witstüp

      Re-install Windows, then call me back (when I’ll be off my shift).

    • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

      A little FORMAT C: will fix you right up!

  • Scooby

    I got to the bottom of this. Hillary sent Pam Anderson to poison him with vegan food.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3842846/Rumors-swirl-Pamela-Anderson-poisoned-Julian-Assange-vegan-meal-Pret.html

    • Ray in VT

      Sounds like a false flag. Where’s Alex Jones when you need him?

  • MizzMazz

    OT: Holy shit, just saw this: This man got harrassed and arrested for walking on the shoulder of the road, because of construction. Oh, and he is black, there’s that.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djyysjn6vCg

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Edina – fucking cake eating white privilege suburb. Everybody in Minnesota hates Edina.

      • Rags

        true dat.

      • MizzMazz

        The comments below the official city statements are priceless:

        https://www.facebook.com/edinamn/posts/10154597615938659

        • malsperanza

          For once, the comments are great. Almost heartwarming, except that the department’s post is so craven.

      • Bear OmNomNom

        Every Day I Need Attention
        Everybody Drives Immaculate New Audis
        Egotists Defying Integration Never Acquiesce

    • SeekingBarbie

      Sigh. Any excuse to be a bully and escalate a situation. Yeah, why don’t you just help him.

      • MizzMazz

        Yeah, the guy wasn’t doing anything. The police officer was just looking for something to do, by the looks of it.

    • UNIT Leftenant Anna

      I think we need a discussion about zero pension or benefits for racist cops.

      • MizzMazz

        And then he tries to intimidate the woman taking the video. He knows his ass is grass.

        • UNIT Leftenant Anna

          I know…it’s just GRRRR

    • taco truck vagenda

      I shudder to think what would have happened if the woman hadn’t been there to record the encounter.

  • vivian

    I hope Putin didn’t have Assange “Fostered” to make it look like Hillary is silencing him. Julian is a tedious little bitch but I don’t want anything to make Trump’s base even more hotted up than they already are.

  • jellysblues

    Julian’s getting stir crazy. I am sure a Swedish prison would be an upgrade at this point.

  • Joe Beese

    Not apropos of anything. Just found it pleasant.

    538.com “chance of winning” graph. It starts on September 26, the day of the first debate.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a55c1370329d45a73e19e848e4366d068527eed0d76075701a24723976c3168d.png

    • Jen B_VA

      The finish line…I can SEE IT.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Time to dig deep and use everything you’ve got left, amirite?

      • Thiazin Red

        Just seeing the lines get closer to the end is soothing.

      • Doug Langley

        Umm. Not meaning to be a Debbie Downer, but attended the LA Olympics in 84. At the track & field, the runners were charging down the track, the ribbon right in front. Suddenly, about 20 feet from the finish the guy in second place tripped and fell on his face. You wouldn’t believe the screams in the stadium.

    • Astraea

      They go low; we go high.

      • Jen B_VA

        nice XD

    • Nounverb911
      • Death Rocks From Space

        Trump’s chances are so low that only “rump” will fit in his tiny red bar.

        • Kavefish

          “…till one day, all he could say was part of his name — ‘arp’.”

    • The Wanderer

      Twelve percent = he still has A Chance. GOTV!

      • eddi

        We need to bury Trump under Johnson’s 0.1%.

    • DainBramage

      America got to see the orange lump side-by-side with an adult. “What were we thinking!”

    • My sincere hope is that he’s so bad that he drives Republican voter turnout into the toilet so the down ballot races are much less nailbiting.

      • eddi

        From your lips to Reince Prebius’ nightmares.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        This is my preferred scenario.

    • eddi

      Johnson is a rounding error in the program.

      • Bad Tom

        Insufficient bits to show how small.

    • JHan

      I follow Sam wang’s blog closely, he’s been right on the money thus far.

    • Once&futureFred

      “Rigged!!”

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Careful. Trump might grab that.

    • Doug Langley

      B-but I can’t understand it! Trump insulted Hillary, snarled at women, and stalked the stage like a Freddy Krueger clone. What could possibly have gone wrong?

    • YoBunnyBunny

      But remember Wonketters: Vote! Don’t let yourselves be lulled into complacency. We want to show the Brits how to smack vote down crazy shit!!!! We want a YUUUGE margin for the popular vote, too, so there are absolutely no doubts!

      • Doug Langley

        *dusts hands* Well, I just dropped my absentee ballot right in the bin at election office, so there. Also, one of the workers had her dog with her, so I got to scritch her. Voting and puppies, doesn’t get better.

      • FlownOver

        And all the way down-ballot! Six years of McTurtle and the House “Freedom” Caucus saying “Fuck America” is more than enough.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        I missed exactly one vote ever about 17 years ago. In my defense, I could mention taht there was only one race on that ballot and it was for a member of an advisory board who had no actual power.

        Nevertheless, I reject that defense. In plain English, I fucked up. I was so ashamed when I realized that I had forgotten that election that I vowed that I would never miss another vote until they dispose of my ashes in a modest private ceremony attended by close family only.

        I have kept that vow and always will.

  • AnOuthouse

    Is it even noon yet where ever Tim Kaine is slamming down the giant glasses of bourbon?

    • That looks like a lovely beverage!

    • alpacapunchbowl

      He doeslook pretty happy most of the time!

  • jellysblues

    Has he tried unplugging his modem, waiting 30 seconds, and plugging it back in?

    • Logic of Color

      Pull the cartridge out, blow on it, stick it back in firmly

      • jellysblues

        Think that’s what got him in trouble in the first place.

      • FlownOver

        Very firmly. Use a probe to help get it really in there.

  • Redgyal

    The biggest secret that Ass-hang revealed was that Hillary Clinton is … a WOMAN!!111!!!

    • RobKanC

      DUN-DUN-DUN DUN!!!!

    • Doug Langley

      Screams from the soundtrack . . . and from the audience!!

    • MynameisBlarney

      *clutches pearls*

      NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

      Say it ain’t so!

      I feel so betrayed!

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911

    OT
    Did you know that Hillary is planning on taking away everyone’s gun just like B Barry Bamz did?

    https://twitter.com/NYDailyNews/status/788006664058331136

    • MynameisBlarney

      These guns you speak of…will they be taken away before or after the mass forced gay-marriage ceremonies?

      • Once&futureFred

        During, these are liberals, they’re ruthlessly efficient…

        • mancityfooty

          yeah, yeah
          tell me that when the FEMA camps are up and running.

      • Anna Rompage

        After the gay marriage ceremonies, but before the mandatory sex change operations…

        • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

          But America wants to know, where do the Death Panels figure into all of this?

        • Doug Langley

          Which will be held in the Walmart tunnels, right?

        • jowgajen

          At this point a few mandatory sex changes would do a world of good.

        • MynameisBlarney

          A wise decision.

      • Jamoche

        After. Can’t have a shotgun wedding without shotguns.

    • kev

      I’ve been hearing from clients (mostly cops) for eight fucking years how Obama is gonna come take my guns. Am I gonna have to hear this tired shit for eight more? Let’s hope so.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Probably. The thing is, the people who whine about Democrats coming to take their guns don’t know the first thing about logistics. This also explains how they buy into the 11 million Mexicans deported thing.

        • kev

          You are so right. They seem to believe that a new president is given the Presidential Magic Wand That Make All My Idiotic Promises Possible without worrying about such nuisances as actual facts. I’m still waiting to see the engineering drawings for the thousand-mile long wall that runs through the middle of a river. Not the north bank, not the south bank. The MIDDLE of the fucking river.

          • berkeleyfarm

            ACCIO DEPORTATIONS!

      • malsperanza

        It would be nice if this time there was some substance to it.

    • eddi

      Should I mention the price is on the high side of average for that model? Some sale.

    • DainBramage

      The rubes always seem to be able to add to their arsenals. How may guns does one person need?

      • eddi

        Collecting or hoarding?

      • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

        Enough to make them feel safe and stop being afraid.

        So close to an infinite number, I think.

      • UNIT Leftenant Anna

        I used to know a guy. He’s cute, non-Caucasian, non-entity as far as anything but his hobbies. He has a ka-jillion guns, including an AR-15. He’s put maybe 90 rounds through it, evers.

        He spent $1200 on the AR-15, and maybe $3000 more on “Tacticool” accessories. SRSLY, he has more optics and dinguses for that rifle than Anna has cute shoes.

        And he’s short.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Short fingers?

          It would be irresponsible not to speculate…

          • UNIT Leftenant Anna

            XD

            A 5’2″ guy that owns over 30 firearms, mostly un-used?

            I imagine you could pick up an Olive with it.

      • Bitter Scribe

        And how many times are they going to fall for “the Democrat in the White House is going to outlaw gun purchases”?

        • Kavefish

          AOT,K

        • MynameisBlarney

          Oooooh…I dunno…only every single time a Democrat is in The White House?

      • Doug Langley

        They might stop when the guns start pouring out the windows, but I wouldn’t bet on it.

        • DainBramage

          That’s what storage units are for.

          • Doug Langley

            Fibber McGee libelz!!!

      • lroom

        What’s crazy to me about it. Most of the gun nuts you see are living in poverty. They can afford all these expensive guns and ammo is expensive as hell also too?

        • Arolpin

          They think of guns the way that mobsters think of very expensive watches; as a store of wealth that can quickly be converted to cash. Of course you can’t fly with them, can’t take them out of the country, and can’t really sell them for more than a pittance, but they are sure that the $50k they spent on guns in the past 8 years means that they have $50k if they need it.

          • UNIT Leftenant Anna

            ^This. They all think the ugly black plastic military knockoff rifles that every dealer has a skillion of are “Valuable collector’s pieces”.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      She learned it from watching Bill do it in the ’90s.

      • Bear OmNomNom

        First they came for the cigars…

    • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

      So do I need new guns for Hillary to grab, along with the ones Obama was supposed to grab? Will she grab Obama’s for him, or should I expect another grabbing, when he gets around to it? Is it proper to expect an RSVP to tell me when one will be dropping in for gun grabbing? Do I need to stock guns on hand for gun grabbing friends and neighbors, or is it rude to only expect family to gun grab?

      So many questions! Gun grabbing etiquette is almost as complicated as salad and dessert forks. I do have to admit I’m very excited that Hillary will be visiting me! Gun grabbing season is my favorite!

    • mailman27

      Hey, if I said “I got yer gun right here” d’you think she’d grab it anyway?

    • SeeTrain65

      The NRA plants the seed, the rubes water the tree, and some of the shittiest fruit is borne.

      • Kavefish

        See, now *that’s* the convo/email thread I’d like to see leaked: NRA to gun dealers re: successful advertising tactics to sway arsenal-hoarding rubes.

  • TJ Barke

    Concern troll feeding frenzy.

  • Thiazin Red

    Now I just really want some risotto.

    • JHan

      according to some far lefties that is too elitist of you.

    • DainBramage

      Is that what the kids are calling it now?

    • Bitter Scribe

      IK, R? I only have that stuff in restaurants. I’m too chickenshit to try making it at home.

      • Kristina Muskiewicz

        Just buy arborio rice, and add the broth slowly. You don’t even really have to stir it all the time, I promise! Or google “oven risotto” and you should get a good recipe for just popping the pan in the oven and coming back to a delicious meal when the timer goes!

        • Or can you just add some extra water to Rice-a-roni?

          (Asking for a friend!)

          • Kristina Muskiewicz

            You could try just cooking it by adding water a little at a time–it’s not the amount, it’s the time :) But why mess with a classic?

          • Alleged Land Shark

            Sacrilege! Heathen!

          • So you condemn the city of San Francisco, who consider Rice-a-roni a “treat”?

          • Alleged Land Shark

            I condemn only those who would even consider Rice-A-Roni a suitable substitute for home made, slow cooked Risotto.

            San Francisco can keep their “treat” …..

          • I love it on Hell’s Kitchen when Gordon Ramsay punches the contestants right in their watery Risottos.

          • berkeleyfarm

            Well, it’s more pilaf, not risotto.

            I had to look RaR up (it really did originate with a SF company) and it turns out the DeDomenico family really loved pilaf and figured out this way to box a mix. I usually get the Trader Joe’s or Near East now for my boxed pilaf needs but Rice-A-Roni is passable (if way too salty for my taste these days). Mmm rice, butter, AND pasta, what’s not to like?

            (Yes, I know I can make my own damn pilaf in about the same time, but it’s a convenience comfort food.)

          • Sister Artemis

            Stir a little half n half in at the end. Seriously.

      • UNIT Leftenant Anna

        Oh, fer shure.

        Maybe someday I’ll get brave, but it’s not going to be today.

      • John Smith

        It’s really easy, just time consuming.

      • Serai 1

        My attention span isn’t up to it.

  • JHan

    The next debate is going to be a rational, calm, insightful woman against an orange cannon shooting shit and piss over everything with help from wikileaks – unforgivable.

    • eddi

      Deplorable even.

    • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

      You say “cannon shooting shit and piss over everything” like it’s a bad thing!

      –Average Trumpkin

    • Courser

      I will be relying on the Wonketeers, as usual, to bring the funny. I can’t watch the Orange Shitgibbon stalk Hillz around the stage or fling shit. I honestly find it triggering (though not HUGELY so, just really uncomfortable)

      • JHan

        I felt scared for her, it was really unsettling. He was repulsive.

        • Grokenstein

          I’m really hoping one of two things happens: (1) he goes into Sarangeti Stalking Mode again and accidentally veers off the edge of the stage, or (2) his head bursts from too much seething.

          https://media.giphy.com/media/jtAOuoFiP5NxS/giphy.gif

          • JHan

            Lol lol lol lol lol

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Trump has brought the true asshole out of a lot of people. Once the landslide of Nov. 8 clears, here’s to their banishment from sane and polite society.

  • Pugsandcoffee

    It couldn’t possibly be Clinton. If Clinton were after him, he’d be dead already (and it’d look like a suicide).

    • Pugsandcoffee

      (please, before anyone takes me seriously, I’m NOT)

      • mancityfooty

        we know all about the body count
        do you think it’s just the Soros cash that keeps this site running pro Clinton articles?

        • Bear OmNomNom

          Nah — it’s the lizard people, the Illuminati, and our precious bodily fluids.

          • mancityfooty

            ixnay on the izardlay eoplelay.
            jeez, you know the russians are watching us!

      • Grokenstein

        That’s just what they want us to believe! …You want? Shit, I don’t know anymore.

    • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

      Not the pillow again? Another smother fucker?

      • Kavefish

        “It turns off the internet or gets the hose, again! Right, Precious?”

        ::::Arf!!:::

  • Has Julian tried (ALL TOGETHER NOW!) turning the computer off, and then back on again?

    • SeekingBarbie

      He could try rubbing up against it to turn it on, but it would just emit a high screech, call the Swedish embassy and go up in a cloud of smoke.

  • mancityfooty

    Was his capslock on when he was typing out the wifi password?

  • Courser

    BWAHAHAHAHAAHH!

    That’s like the most awesome & simplest thing ever. Just take FuckFace’s internet away! I’ll bet he has an incredibly Trump-style meltdown and only the Equadorian’s to witness.

  • Kevin Morin

    Pamela Anderson – “You’ve got vegan.”

    Assange – “Thanks!” *gack*

    Pamela Anderson sparked crazy rumors she “poisoned him (Assange) with a vegan sandwich”
    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3842846/Rumors-swirl-Pamela-Anderson-poisoned-Julian-Assange-vegan-meal-Pret.html#ixzz4NMlA5kg6

  • going4baroque

    The L.A. Times Investigating Reporter, a Mr Jones, admitted to friends when he got home that something is happening, but he don’t know what it is. Strangely prescient, Bob Dylan foresaw it happening decades ago:
    https://youtu.be/hC4r3QFnmQ8

    • going4baroque

      for those who feel it was just coincidental might want to consider this other little news item:

      https://youtu.be/eBq7SyGtG8Y

  • WeaselPoo

    He can still Fax,can’t he?

    • Beaumarchais?

      What’s that? LIke fapping but dirtier?

      • WeaselPoo

        I’m not sure, but I think there’s some weird screeching involved at the beginning.

  • Joshua Norton

    So Assange should be pretty tied up for the rest of the day trying to crack a neighbors password so he can steal their wifi.

  • Suse

    What’s that in Tim Kaine’s glass?

    • MynameisBlarney

      I’m sure it’s apple juice!

    • MikeyArmstrong

      Very-Berry Kool-Aid

      • Bear OmNomNom

        Jim Jones libelz!

    • Vagendadentacohontas

      Ovaltine, because Tim Kaine.

      • Bear OmNomNom

        Assange will be disappointed when his Secret Decoder Ring reveals that it’s all just a crummy commercial!

    • going4baroque

      his drinking buddy – Hillary!
      https://youtu.be/ok2g6M4wTeg

    • Bear OmNomNom

      Soylent Wine is made of Vince Foster!!1!

  • Cheesus Crust

    Has Julian #Assange had his internet cut off due to claims of online sexual grooming? Case pending. #Wikileaks #auspol pic.twitter.com/Fk102GHAcy— Sandra K Eckersley (@SandraEckersley) October 17, 2016

    • UNIT Leftenant Anna

      Oh shit.

      It never ends, but what a piece of information to throw back at any shitheel defender of his.

      • Alleged Land Shark

        He’s a pervvy piece of shit. When Wikileaks was publishing their information with due caution, then had a good idea. Now it’s just a tabloid rag.

  • proudgrampa

    Did he forget to pay his Comcast bill?

    (“I’ve done that, man!”)

  • data_ninja

    An associate showed me this yesterday; make of it what you will. It seems legit enough to the point that an internal intelligence member (I’m not going to go as far as to say sympathizer, although it could be read as that) wanted to give out a warning. I don’t think that they know the big picture, so I’d bet that some of what they’ve said is speculation. Nevertheless, it seems interesting.

    https://i.imgur.com/abcVS6q.jpg

    • mancityfooty

      Nope, sorry, he’ll live to see the election returns in his “apartment”

      • data_ninja

        I believe that is the more likely outcome.

    • AJ Milne

      As Arrange being arrested is pretty much Trump’s supporters’ wet dream, as just about the only thing left that could save their merry little would-be fascist coup from its own very poorly chosen figurehead, and as it would be vastly more politically useful to them than the hilariously limp collateral he probably has, I’m filing that for now under probable disinformation meant to rile and rally the troops.

      • AJ Milne

        Oh. Wait. Erm… I meant:

        Trump supporters: this is probably totally real. You should fly to… Umm… Ecuador right now! Because that’ll totally help, and that’s totally where the Ecuadorian embassy is. You can trust me, as a source of low level background radiation. Enjoy your flight.

      • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

        It’ll be interesting to see the conspiracy theories that arise when Assange is extradited to Sweden for his trial, and is not then disappeared by Hillary’s invisible ninja armies of death.

      • WampusKat

        Hate to break it but the Trumpsters were Tweeting with glee under the #FreeJulian hashgtag :)

        Teabaggers here scouring the dumps for Wiki-scraps: http://www.teaparty.org/detailed-list-findings-wikileaks-dnc-document-dump-178135/

        It’s the Paultards: https://www.nsfwcorp.com/dispatch/libertarian-bum-fights/

        • AJ Milne

          Yeah, you _do_ realize that’s not at all a contradiction, right?

          As in: sure, they’re delighted to pose as white knight free speech paladin champions, so long as the ‘transparency’ Wikileaks claims to champion is transparent where they want it. And no doubt, some of them _do_ have lurid fantasies of a world where Assange is vindicated as the hero of the piece, as opposed to a craven, deeply compromised cutout–and the rape charge is withdrawn as all black helicopter shenanigans, and, as opposed to the hearing Sweden would kindly like him to attend, they all get a lovely victory parade…

          But they’d have to be dumber than anyone ever imagined not to realize that _any_ move made against Assange prior to the election could be spun like _mad_ as the gummint all in the tank for Hillary, rigged, yadda yadda. So yeah, they’re dreaming about it, all right. Hell, Alex Jones would probably just drop dead on the spot from the orgasm.

    • malsperanza

      Dude, it’s 4Chan.

    • Jen B_VA

      hm. Seems more a case of a broken clock being right once in a while to me.
      They’re not extraditing him; Clinton has no pull to pressure Ecuador or anyone else and really, once more, why bother? She is winning by lots. The email dumps are so pathetic that the target of the hack itself are mocking them.

      • data_ninja

        I did consider the broken clock theory, and it definitely could just be a coincidence. I also looked at it from the angle of a threat being posed as a warning. I’ve no doubt that those message boards are being monitored and participated in by all manners of people (hackers, law enforcement, etc) and that particular thing may have been done just to rile up the crowd. In this case, a person says that something bad will happen, in the form of a warning, and then gain credibility from it. Also, that person just happens to mention other bad stuff that could be happening, even if it doesn’t come true. I really believe this is just part of a long con against these hacker groups.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Yeah, well I’m a low level intelligence officer, and Julian Assange is actually a lizard person who keeps the masses entertained with John Podesta’s risotto recipes, while SIMULTANEOUSLY is also a Kuato-like bloat on Trump’s left ass-cheek that has achieved sentience and the ability to collect scarves.

      No, I don’t have any proof I can share, because this is the internet and I could just be some rando looking for attention. If they get me for sharing this, at least I died wanking at my desk like usual.

  • CW

    The WiFi password was changed to GTFOyouAussieTool123. I wonder if he’ll take the hint.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Eurotrash infestation clogging up your embassy? Call 1-800-EUR-OUTT!

      • phoenix00

        …. Brexit?

  • greyXstar

    I thought that said “spanktopia recipe” at first and I got really excited.

    • Usedtobeyellerdawg

      That’s another site entirely.

    • kareemachan

      wut? asking for a friend, of course….

    • phoenix00

      ….. TMI man, TMI.

      (Greek food, OTOH, is awesome)

  • Grokenstein

    OT: I tired to be a good sport and shut off my AdBlock so Wonkette could make all the monies, but that fucking left-side recurring pop-up, complete with delayed close button, was the final goddamn straw. OH WERE U TRYING TO READ THE ARTICLE HUH HUH HUH OOPS I M IN UR WAY AGAIN HUH HUH HUH HEY WAIT DONT U DO THA

    • malsperanza

      An Ad Fewer subscription will solve that.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Same. That and the ads kept crashing my work computer’s browser. It jest doon’t have the powah!

    • Sister Artemis

      I know people are suggesting ad-fewer (it solved that problem for me) but if you can’t do that, try loading the discussions in Disqus, rather than at wonkette.

    • mancityfooty

      I won’t make assumptions about your financial status, but even a dollar a month, the adblock can be on and off your conscience.
      Just saying.

    • Odd Jørgensen

      Watching the adblock counter sprint all the way to 75 then peter out at 95. yay adblock!

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Update on the Edina Police video posted earlier by MizzMazz:

    The City of Edina has dropped whatever charges were made against the unfortunate young man, and get this: he was not jailed. The police drove him to a nearby shopping mall at his request and released him. It’s like “Oh shit, we got *nothing* on this guy and we better just make it all go away”.

    The State of Minnesota has a very robust civil rights commission and you can believe they will be looking into this.

    • UNIT Leftenant Anna

      :) Thank you for this update!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Thank you-I’ve actually been quite worried about him!

    • Bear OmNomNom

      Phew. Some Twin Citians, myself included, have a long-standing game of coining things “EDINA” can stand for — and I’m glad to hear Extremely Deadly Interrogations by Nazi Assholes hasn’t been added to the list.

  • SnarkOff

    Slightly OT but could everyone stop saying “deep dive”?

    • Jen B_VA

      deep throat?

  • CW

    TFW your roommates don’t want you in the house anymore, but won’t say it to your face.

    • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

      Nah, if the Ecuadorian Embassy didn’t want him in the house anymore, they’d just dump him outside while he’s sleeping, and then lock all the doors and windows.

  • Loki1001

    Assange is such a piece of shit. Remember when he lied and claimed that the DNC staffer who was murdered in Washington DC was the one leaking to him, in order to cover up that it was actually Russian Intelligence?

  • whitroth

    Actually, I can make a guess who the state actor is… and it probably isn’t the Russians.

    Other option other than Those Who Do Not Exist is some folks on our side, who have just been so annoyed and haven’t finished growing up inside their head yet that they hired a botnet, like the jerks who did krebsonsecurity.

  • Kevin Morin

    The ‘state actor’ was none other than good old Ecuador.

    https://twitter.com/wikileaks?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor

    I wonder if this has anything to do with the post down thread claiming Assange is under investigation for sexual grooming?

    • Sister Artemis

      They’re probably getting pretty damn sick of his arrogant ass

    • I Am Helpy

      came here to post that. But while I was trying to find that story I accidentally found this also too:

      http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/10/17/conspiracy-theorists-pamela-anderson-poisoned-julian-assange-with-a-vegan-sandwich.html

      • Kevin Morin

        Pamela Anderson: Tool of the Oligarchy.

        • I Am Helpy

          Pamela Anderson: Vegan Sandwich Assassin

      • Mahousu

        Pamela Anderson – in the embassy – with a vegan sandwich.
        I won!

    • Mezzaluna

      I like the theory that he hasn’t once offered to pay for groceries and has never helped with the dishes after dinner.

      • mancityfooty

        he could do his own laundry, at least

    • ltmcdies

      maybe they are just tired of Julian bathing in the office sinks…

      • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

        Julian has murdered the Embassy toilets one time too many.

    • PhoenixWoman

      “I wonder if this has anything to do with the post down thread claiming Assange is under investigation for online sexual grooming?”

      That’s my guess. He apparently was offering to anally and otherwise sex an eight-year-old Canadian girl who had sneaked onto her twenty-two-year-old sister’s online dating account. The big question is whether he knew he was dealing with an eight-year-old.

      Ecuador’s embassy staff probably decided that they didn’t want to risk being accused of being party to the seduction of a minor, and so shut off Assange’s internet hookup until the whole affair could be sorted out.

  • going4baroque

    comcast re-establishes internet service and provides free upgrade to their premium service, because “it’s the right thing to do”
    wikileaks podesta release #10
    https://wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/?q=&mfrom=&mto=&title=&notitle=&date_from=&date_to=&nofrom=&noto=&count=50&sort=6#searchresult

  • mml1996

    John Podesta’s got mad trolling skillz, yo! *flexes his fingers awkwardly to do whatever it is kids do*

  • Cheesus Crust

    As an update, Wikileaks has now confessed that the Ecuadorian’s cut off his internet access.

    Methinks we will see this butt plug in handcuffs being dragged to the nearest UK court for extradition soon.

  • going4baroque

    Comcast would like its customers to know that Wikileaks internet service is now up and running, and podesta release #10 has dropped with some more main stream media nothing burgers

  • AJ Milne

    (Blinks at ‘it was Ecuador’…)

    Notwithstanding this _was_ kinda Occam’s favourite…

    … I’m now wondering if, worldwide, it will become de rigueur for kids, told to put down the damned iPad and do their homework, thereafter to issue tweets to the world protesting interference ‘by a non-state actor’.

  • Gregory Brown

    Thank you Wonkette! You reminded me that I have to pay those bloodsuckers their monthly extortion fee. “You have crappy service, but it would be a shame if something were to happen to it. Our associate, Mr. Vito Scumacci would be paying you a visit.”

  • I can’t wait until January 20, when Hillary Clinton is sworn in as President. I’m not looking forward to later that afternoon, when the House passes articles of impeachment.

  • ltmcdies

    been offline for a week or so…came back..read this story…laughed and laughed and laughed…..and still laughing.

  • kareemachan
    • ahughes798

      My watercolor teacher told me about eating the delicious meal pictured above, while he was in Peru. Probably tastes like chicken.

      • Alan

        Haha. I told my Ecuadoran friend that my daughter was visiting Ecuador and she said “tell her not to eat the local food”.

    • handyhippie65

      why leave the head on? there isn’t enough meat in those cheeks to beat the eeeww factor.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    WeenieLeaks. Soon to be Adioooos HooooleeeOhhh.

  • berkeleyfarm

    Game, set, and match to John Podesta.

  • diane surette

    It’s about fucking time

  • Mike Steele

    yes, I’m an old, so here ‘s my take …Julian, once the darling of the left, is now the tool of the right, simply because the youngs are stupid enough to accept social media as real information. Anyone can say anything, anytime. So? How does this make such information reliable? Couple that with the low-information crowd who glean their knowledge from Twitter and one can see that all tales bruited about online are likely bogus. Rumors abound, disinformation goes viral, and folks make their voting choices based on this shit. Ergo, there is no “truth”. Earth is doomed, but the Antares launch from Wallops Island went off okay last night, so the crew of ISS will at least have fresh toilet paper. Hope springs eternal…

  • runfastandwin

    Like a government server is more secure than a home server…

    • cat cafe

      That’s the most enraging thing about the whole email thing. She had a private server (slightly different from a “home server” in its intent) because the gov’t server was LESS secure. And the gov’t server was hacked by the Russians, while the private server wasn’t. The WH has a private server for the same reason. You’d almost think they were “out to get her” or something.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    When you Assange, you make an Ass out of…well, out of yourself, mainly. FTG.

  • JohnQFugly

    Conjecture has become second nature within the email analysis circle jerk.

  • Mike Steele

    This just in…Podesta used the archaic ethnic slur ‘doofus’ in re Bernie. C-SPAN will be covering the congressional hearings to follow – your tax dollars (certainly not Trump’s) at work.

  • Mike Steele

    Yo, Julian…my mother’s emails were more interesting. Oh, that’s right, you can’t see this. never mind.

  • Incoming Ham

    Whatever Assange started out as, whatever altruism he may have had, whatever sort of info-warrior he thought he was, he has turned into a nuclear douchebag.

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