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Are you subscribed to the hottest new food blog, aside from the resurrection of Wonkette’s mommyblog recipe hub? It is called “Wikileaks,” and it’s just the best. In the mood to put food on your family, but REALLY wish you could get the recipe from Hillary Clinton’s campaign team, lovingly curated by Julian Assange and his precious team of America-hatin’ Russian hackers? HAVEN’T WE ALL BEEN THERE BEFORE?

Listen up, chefs and wanna-be chefs. One of the OMGTERRIBLE emails released by WikiLeaks shows Clinton campaign chair John Podesta helping this guy Peter Huffman, whom Epicurious describes as “a Merrill Lynch financial adviser who’s done work for the Clinton Foundation” (CORRUPTIONS!!!!111!), figure out how to make some damn risotto, and how to make it damn good. Huffman is like “but I don’t WANNA pour the stock in gradually, I am too busy doing pay-to-play Benghazi with the Clinton Foundation,” and Podesta is like “You have to do it that way, dumbhead! While you are slowly adding stock to achieve the perfect risotto, I will help Hillary do Whitewater to Vince Foster again.”

ALLEGEDLY.

See for yourself:

email

OK, so Podesta is apparently a really good cook. Politico quotes him saying that, on top of risotto, he “make[s] a pretty mean moussaka, pastitsio, baklava and spanakopita,” all of which are YUM. We need these recipes.

And we bet Hillary has some cooking tips too! We already know about the Clinton family “Roasted Rack of Lamb with a Pumpkin Thyme Crust” and also Hillary’s recipe for oatmeal cookies, which she DOES TOO FUCKING MAKE, even though she’s not just hanging out in the kitchen making cookies all the time, as she splained us in 1992.

We ALSO TOO bet Hillz’s lady adviser Huma Abedin makes some delectable delights, and even more than that, we’re pretty sure Donna Brazile and the other folks at the DNC probably have some pretty great recipes they’ve sent the Clinton campaign, while they were taking breaks from STEALING THE ELECTION FOR HILLARY, or whatever the scandal du jour is, we don’t know.

Now look, we get it: If Killary The Devil wasn’t the flawed Democratic nominee, there wouldn’t be NOBODY from Merrill Lynch emailing Podesta asking for risotto cooking tips, because all of Merrill Lynch would be IN JAIL, where they ain’t got no risotto. But she IS the nominee, so we might as well find out if Hillz’s macaroni ‘n’ cheese is as good as ours. (SPOILER: Wonket’s mac ‘n’ cheese is so damn good you’ll literally die of cheese-gasms.)

The point is that WikiLeaks is obviously a very valuable organization, and it should definitely continue its vital work in exposing the Clinton campaign’s culinary secrets to the world. Maybe Hillz has a Pinterest board or something! Assange should look into that.

Don’t bother looking into Trump’s recipes, though, because A) Daddy Putin doesn’t want you messing with Trump’s business and B) No one is interested in learning how Trump makes his secret late night snack concoction of Vienna Sausages, orange dandruff and loneliness. Literally no one. Ew. Gross.

[Epicurious]

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  • beingreleased

    When do you think the last time Trump had a meal cooked in someone’s kitchen?

    • beingreleased

      On a related note: Who doubts that Trump would say “I’m the best cook. The best. I know more about cooking than the chefs.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Does the Trump Tower Grill count as “someone’s kitchen”?

    • Painter of Bunny Avengers

      I’m not sure. Does a McDonald’s have a kitchen?

      • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

        They call it ‘the production line.’

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Unless that’s a slang for sexual assault, never.

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        Baked tacos from the oven box.

  • bubbuhh

    So, there is something smoking that proves John Podesta is mean to food. HAH! Corruption, indeed and mouth!

  • Painter of Bunny Avengers

    When can I expect a fundraising volunteer at my door selling copies of “The DNC Cookbook”?

    I’ll take 6 copies. The War On Christmas is coming and I like to do my shopping early.

  • onedollarjuana

    How does she make Devils food cake?

    • Painter of Bunny Avengers

      A quarter cup of brimstone is her secret ingredient.

      • PubOption

        Wouldn’t that make yellowcake?

        • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

          You’re confusing brimstone and pitchblende. It’s a common mistake.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Or as she calls it, food cake.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      from scratch…

      • glennisw

        From Old Scratch.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          lol, I’m glad someone got that

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Alex Jones is on this!

    • Doug Langley

      With great enthusiasm.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      With the tears of orphans?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Well, that’s it. The final straw.

    Leaking classified cooking tips to the Ruskies. Now they’re going to weaponize borscht and send it (with sour cream on top) on missiles to Germany, and everyone is going to be basking in the glow of satiation when they invade and sweep clear to the Rhein.

  • Callyson

    I can’t pass judgement on this until I know what wine Hillary would pair with the risotto.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Donald would pair it with “Drumpf 20/20”, the best wine in the world!

      • girlscientist

        Come on, we know he doesn’t drink alcohol. He only does coke.

    • pstockholm

      A nice Chianti, obviously.

      • Amy!

        I have to question the combination of risotto with fava beans.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Verb, noun Wikileaks, Wikileaks — that is all the Trumpsters say now. They are so fucking desparate. After this, no Trump supporter gets to claim patriotism. Seriously, fucking Soviet lovers.

    • AngryKatie

      You have no idea how gleeful I am when posting variants of “why don’t you move to Russia then” to Trump supporters.

  • MynameisBlarney

    FOOLS!

    That “recipe” is totes obvs code for “Kill Whitey”!

  • Apple Scruff

    Release the #Podestarecipes.

  • Painter of Bunny Avengers

    Hillary’s buffalo wings are made with real buffaloes

  • You know that Wikileaks has a clandestine branch based in Kill Devil Hills, NC, right?

    RIGHT?

  • Joe Beese

    Another email discovered in the Wikileaks dump of John Podesta emails shows Brazile sent the Clinton campaign a heads up on March 12 2016 with the subject line “From time to time I get the questions in advance.” …

    Forwarded:

    “…since 1973, 156 people have been on death row and later set free. Since 1976, 1,414 people have been executed in the U.S.”

    Asked:

    “Secretary Clinton, since 1976, we have executed 1,414 people in this country. Since 1973, 156 who were convicted have been exonerated from the death row.”

    Are we supposed to believe that Donna Brazile forwarded a question this similar to the one Clinton was asked a day later but that the two things were not connected somehow?

    Finally, consider that the question forwarded to Clinton by Brazile was specifically about the death penalty in Ohio, which just happened to be where the town hall was talking place the next day.

    Add all of that up and it’s really asking a lot to ask us to believe a flat denial that these two things are connected, especially when no one is offering an alternative explanation. Until Brazile and CNN come up with a more credible excuse (or claim the email was fabricated), I’m going to choose to believe my lying eyes. …

    CNN has a non-denial from Roland Martin:

    Martin did not deny sharing information with Brazile. Instead, when asked by CNNMoney, he said “my questions were shared with my executive producer and several members of my TV One team.”

    When asked in a followup question if he would explicitly rule out any sharing of questions with Brazile, Martin did not respond.

    LA LA LA LA JULIAN ASSANGE IS A RAPIST LA LA LA LA PUTIN WANTS TRUMP TO WIN LA LA LA LA

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Oh, brother. Talk about your non-smoking guns.

      If this is the best Assange can do, the Ecuadorians should toss him bodily into the street and say, as they’re doing so, “you may fire at will.”

      • Joe Beese

        Just remember, kids. Cheating doesn’t count if you would have won anyway.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Are we talking about the same Wikileaks that doctored emails to make a Kurt Eichenwald article appear to be from Sidney Blumenthal? Or the same Wikileaks that doctored this? Yeah, you’ll forgive me if I have a few doubts about the veracity of anything those lying Russkie hackers crank out for the propaganda mill. But by all means, you can feel free to believe that this time Lucy is telling you the truth about that football, Charlie Brown

          SMH

          Because cheating also doesn’t count if it reinforces your existing confirmation bias, amirite?

          http://www.snopes.com/hillary-calls-voters-bucket-of-losers/

          • Joe Beese

            So Wikileaks and Putin, acting in concert with a deadly determination to deny Clinton the presidency, fabricated an email to frame her for… receiving a debate question in advance?

            Uh huh.

            In case it wasn’t clear, my point isn’t GRAR HILLARY. I don’t assume that she asked Brazile to cheat on her behalf. Brazile, loyal henchperson that she is, wouldn’t have needed prompting.

            But let’s stop pretending that there is nothing newsworthy and discreditable being exposed by this leak.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            But let’s stop pretending that there is nothing newsworthy and discreditable being exposed by this leak.

            Given how many times now they’ve been caught altering their releases, let’s stop pretending there is. First thing I’d do if I were cranking out this crap is doctor a few non consequential ones, so I didn’t appear too obvious.

            And Donna Brazile is no loyal henchman, thanks for reiterating that confirmation bias

          • Chyron HR

            “In case it wasn’t clear, my point isn’t GRAR HILLARY.”

            Well, no, obviously it’s “LEAVE JULIAN ALOOOOOOOOONE.”

      • willi0000000

        thanks a lot.

    • Slithytoves

      OMG. A question about the death penalty. No one would ever had anticipated that question in a million lifetimes.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I have no idea why anyone continues to trust anything these hackers put out as being true or accurate. How many times do we have to catch them doctoring their documents before we quit taking them seriously? Personally, I’ll go with Occam’s razor and assume this is forged, just like all the other times they’ve been caught doing that.

        • Stulexington

          We already don’t, the alt white … never.

      • Joe Beese

        Which was certain to have been asked using those exact statistics, reckoned at those exact numbers, in that exact juxtaposition.

        Try harder.

        • PimentacoTX

          Have you had a chance to look up the exact question asked? Another article says a different question was asked.

    • Creepoman

      Sorry man, but Bernie’s not coming back.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Total waste of a perfectly good Alienware game box.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        a waste of Mountain Dew, also too

    • Gentle Robot

      doritos/mtn dew libel

    • arglebargle
      • Zippy W Pinhead

        me libulz!!1!

        (I really should quit drinking that stuff)

        • data_ninja

          I’m almost two years clean of all soda (mixers with booze don’t count). It’s possible! YOU CAN DO EET!

    • Logic of Color

      My teenagers think I’m ridiculous for thinking that Pepe has become a symbol for the alt-right and racists.

      • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

        They need to read Wonkette. They might learn something.

        • A LITtle Annoyed, Yet ARoused

          Besides dick jokes? Perish the thought!

  • bubbuhh

    Nope, nope, nope, Teh Rooshians R not diddling teh UISA’s Election

    http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-election-russian-trump-idUSKCN12C28Q

    Putin ally tells Americans: vote Trump or face nuclear war
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3a82116ccdd78a772ed94f016fbff30818204d62cad59e238e33b67652a201b9.jpg

    • Lulu Mac

      He seems nice…

      • The Wanderer

        Zhirinovsky once said that Condi Rice’s attitude was due to her not getting The Sex, and suggested she stop by a Russian Army barracks to refresh herself.

        • TJ Barke

          Classy as fuck, just like Donnie.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Didn’t he know that Condi and Dumbya were bumpin’ uglies?

  • Spotts1701

    I don’t see anything that calls for the bones of her enemies as an ingredient.

    • MynameisBlarney

      That’s a good thing…
      Because that might well be the last thing you saw!

      *cues ominous music*

      Duuuuuun dun duuuuuuuuun!

  • WeaselPoo

    I’m impressed–even evan couldn’t make this latest episode of How Crooked Is Hillghazi ?!! amusing or interesting

  • limberrat

    Also said down in Florida by trump. Makes me wonder if he is going to do the third debate?
    https://twitter.com/CandaceSmith_/status/786262723323715584

    • Gentle Robot

      I’m utterly shocked at Trump revealing he has no respect for a group of people

      • fka_donnie_d

        Yes, could we even name a group of people that Trump respects? How about one person?

        • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

          Himself?

          • fka_donnie_d

            Doubtful

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Fratty douchebag male entertainment reporters?

          • fka_donnie_d

            Insufficient evidence

    • Slithytoves

      Frankly – I hope he doesn’t. I am literally getting nauseated every time I hear him speak. He can just slink away with his deplorables.

      • miss_grundy

        He really has killed the life out of the word “tremendous”. I now really hate that word and want it to be retired permanently from the English language.

    • The Wanderer

      He’s basically damned if he does, damned if he doesn’t right now. If he snubs the CPD and bails on the last debate, Hillary gets a boost. If he shows up and starts acting just as screwy as he has been acting, Hillary gets a boost.

      • chicken thief

        He’s playing solely to his base now to lock in his seat at the helm of the anti-Hitlery media empire.

        • fka_donnie_d

          This. If he doesn’t have his own cable network (or at least webshite) after he (hopefully) loses I’ll eat my hat.

    • boyblue122

      The moderator for the 3rd debate works at Fox News. Id be surprised if he doesnt show up

      • Stulexington

        I’d laugh if they did a last second swap with Kelly.

        • boyblue122

          lol…thatd be awesome

        • SuspectedDemocrat

          After she showed her fealty by presenting herself at Trump Tower and then giving him the sloppiest blow job of a softball interview? Or was that all so she wouldn’t have to see Roger Ailes naked again?

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        And this will be the moderator who promised not to tell people what the facts are.

        • boyblue122

          I thought that was Lester Holt’s quote up until Matt Lauer looked like a clown for letting Trump say he opposed the Iraq war at the Commander-in-chief debate

    • beingreleased

      But he won the first two debates? Everyone told him so.

      • Stulexington

        All the polls that weren’t tainted by science said he won bigly.

      • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

        The commission wouldn’t promise he’d win the third one as well, so fuck ’em.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      If he bails on the last debate, the gun that Hillary planted in the first debate won’t be used, and there will be no Cocktober surprise! Except for all the other ones we’ve already seen.

    • Doug Langley

      Nah. Florida’s a slam dunk for him once his supporters vote on Nov 28.

      • lovelydestruction

        Mark your calendars, trumpsters.

    • cousin itt

      It’s in Vegas. Of course, he will be there so he can show off all of his casinos.

      Oh.

      • fka_donnie_d

        Think of it. A character too sketchy for even Vegas casino owners.

        Exactly like the joke about the lawyer and the Tijuana sex worker – professional standards

    • miss_grundy

      He probably will show up to try to gaslight Hillz again. I think she should just call him Don instead of Donald and pronounce it dismissively.

      • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

        ‘Donnie.’ A diminutive to reflect his childish demeanour.

  • laughingnome

    The devil’s food cake recipe is worth your very soul!

  • Ryan Denniston
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      yup, we turned light blue overnight

  • Gentle Robot

    Surprised it’s not a recipe for sausage

  • cousin itt

    How do you make Trump Stew?

    Tenderize his meat and then boil it in a landslide of votes for a woman.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Serves .001

  • Doug Langley

    For the love of humanity, please don’t tell us Hillary’s recipe for ladyfingers.

    • cousin itt

      According to RussiaLeaks, it’s Huma’s favorite.

  • boyblue122

    Wikileaks has undermined its own credibility with all the fabricated and altered docs that it released. It just cant be taken seriously anymore.

    Its a shame too because it built up so much good will with the Snowden NSA docs

    • Gentle Robot

      Starting to question why Snowden got asylum in Russia

      • TJ Barke

        Cuz russia likes to criticize the US. It’s self serving on their end, obviously, but that doesn’t mean our government is above criticism.

        • Gentle Robot

          Just want to know exactly when Wikileaks got in cahoots with Russia

        • Arolpin

          I would love to see Hillary negotiate a plea deal with Snowden where he is sentenced to time served, is put on probation for several years, and works for the government as part of his probation. It would get him out of Russia, back to the US, maybe give us some insight on exactly how deeply Russia is involved in WikiLeaks, and lead to massive sploody-heads among the cousin-fuckers.

          • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

            Now that’s some 11-dimensional chess!

  • Ryan Denniston

    “We already know about the Clinton family “Roasted Rack of Lamb with a Pumpkin Thyme Crust””

    I think the Trumpkins were hoping for something in the emails more along the lines of Braised Benghazi or frickasee Foster.

  • Crank Tango

    Square pizza? Damn, I could go for some school cafeteria pizza right now.

  • laughingnome

    I’ll believe it if at the next debate Hillary is asked the trick to poached eggs.

    • Is it the water swirly thing?

      • proudgrampa

        Just use an egg poacher…

      • Snark Tank of Deplorables

        The swirling water thing works.

      • AngryKatie

        Eggs Benedict is why god invented brunch with bottomless mimosas.

    • Doug Langley

      “AHA! You just admitted to poaching eggs! What other foods have you stolen?”

    • Ima Witstüp

      See what she knows about deviled eggs, huh?

    • Thiazin Red

      Isn’t there a kind of salt you can put in the water to make it better?

  • bubbuhh

    Judge sets date for hearing Donald Trump underage rape accusation

    Donald(He don’t mind if we call him Donald, right?) is going to be a might busy in December what with two trials where he is in the hot seat, that’s the defendant’s, not the judge’s as Donald seems to think.

    A federal judge has ordered a status conference hearing after a woman filed a lawsuit claiming Donald Trump raped her when she was 13-years-old in 1994.

    In the lawsuit a witness, identified by the pseudonym Tiffany Doe, alleges she saw Mr Trump and billionaire-paedophile Jeffrey Epstein repeatedly rape the plaintiff, identified as Jane Doe.

    The complaint claims Epstein hired an unidentified woman to pick up teenage girls to bring to his parties.

    PS This time the plaintiff is producing a witness.
    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/donald-trump-accused-underage-rape-lawsuit-a7352976.html

    • malsperanza

      Did you notice that in the 2nd debate Turnip stopped calling her Secretary Clinton and started calling her Hillary–because it had bugged him so much that she had called him Donald.

      It was a nice (and totally predictable) reveal.

      • Blank Ron, Avenger of Ponies

        I wonder if he was deluded enough to think it was working?

        • malsperanza

          Heh, probably.

  • Rufus T. Firefly

    That photo can’t be right–Hillary can’t be seen in mirrors.

    • arglebargle

      See! It’s obviously her body double they have been telling us about.

      • h4rr4r

        Duh,

        It’s not a mirror, that is a window with her body double in it.

        Like that scene from T2.

  • jesuswasablack

    These dullards at wiki-tump don’t really seem so bright. Based on this latest dump it appears the best dirt they had was the public/private position statement by Hillz to the banksters and these dumb fucks released that right in the middle of the pussy-grab shit storm? You’d think one of those high priced hacks would have said: hey lets save this nugget until the pussy-grab frenzy dies down a little, don’t these fucking idiots watch cable news?
    http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/CNN-Obama-Chyron.png

  • DerrickWildcat

    Elitist food!

  • (((JustPixelz)))

    “… give up it’s starch …”

    Really, John? I would characterize your use of grammar as “extremely careless”.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The Grammar Police need to make an arrest, at once!

  • h4rr4r

    Your mac and cheese has milk and flour thus watering down the cheese flavor.
    Get some sodium citrate and skip that flour crap.

    /for those scared of “chemicals”, you get sodium citrate if you mix baking soda and lemon juice.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Oh, and lay off the Dihydrogen Oxide…it dilutes the taste.

      • h4rr4r

        Well you can use a little of that or some small amount of milk.
        The idea here is to create a cheese sauce that is more cheese than anything else.

        The mac and cheese recipe this mommy blog has is just white sauce with a little cheese melted into it.

    • arglebargle

      I thought that was the ingredients for one of them there elementary school science project volcanoes.

      • h4rr4r

        Yeah, you get that foam too. Point is this is a very safe and common chemical that most people have made at some point.

  • SeeTrain65

    Wikileaks knew they had something when they found the recipe for “Homemade Barbecue Sauce You’ll Rig An Election For.”

  • Indiepalin

    Look for swift and deadly retribution when Wikileaks releases the complete recipes of the Soup Nazi.

  • The Wanderer

    Ingredients? I used to dream of food that had ingredients in it.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    What, WikiLeaks??? You couldn’t even get Duke to spill the Bush Baked Beans recipe??? Amateurs…

  • TheGrandWaz00

    I’m making hush puppies.
    http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/dgc.gif

  • Thiazin Red

    I agree with adding a small amount of broth at a time, but I find that you don’t necessarily have to stir constantly. Often yes, but I don’t think you have to stand over the stove stirring for an hour.

  • bubbuhh
    • h4rr4r

      Livers around the nation rejoice!

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Mrs. Grammarian wouldn’t have to check me every 15 minutes for symptoms of stroke. She’ll be so relieved!

    • Thiazin Red

      So could Clinton just show up, answer questions and get 90 minutes of air time?

      • YoBunnyBunny

        I’m sure Donald will be rage-tweeting at Hillz the whole time… And our balanced media will devote just as much time covering his twitter storm… Sigh…

        • Brendan_M

          The more coverage for Donald’s tweets, the better. I still want the NYT or WaPo to cover his obsession with Kristin Stewart and Robert Pattinson. The sheer weirdness of it should be worth a point or two.

          • AngryKatie

            Wait, what? I had to google that.
            You’re correct, someone definitely needs to cover that.

          • Brendan_M

            He’s really obsessed with the idea of being cuckolded. Odd that he fell in with the alt-Right crowd…

          • AngryKatie

            I read through the tweet history. So incredibly bizarre, but with the obsession about cuckolding, it makes at least some sense.

            It does beg the question though. Who cuckolded him?

          • Brendan_M

            America will cuckold him on November 8.

          • AngryKatie

            Hell yeah!

        • AngryKatie

          I guarantee they’ll be more damaging to his chances than anything she could say.

      • bubbuhh

        It’s been done that way before but not at the Preznitdental level. The closest was in 1980. Carter chose not to participate in the first debate because independent candidate John Anderson was included. Carter’s opponent, Ronald Reagan, did show up at that debate. It was one of things that helped Carter lose.

        Also too John McCain wanted to postpone or cancel the first debate. He said he and Obama should go to Washington to help Dubya figure out the financial crisis. Obama said he would be in Mississippi whether or not McCain was, saying”It’s going to be part of the president’s job to be able to deal with more than one thing at once.”

        McCain relented and came to the debate, but his initial hesitation threw his campaign off balance, although not as much as choosing the Wasilla Whackaloon as his running mate.

        Also too, Eastwood debating chair. That probably doesn’t count but Preznitdental.

    • Msgr_Trump_has_killed_satire

      13 year olds in bikinis in the front row. He’ll show.

      • mancityfooty

        unlike Donny, I’m not touching that

  • Msgr_Trump_has_killed_satire

    Thanks, Obama.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Deviled eggs?
    Devil’s food cake?
    CANNED CLAMS?????????

    • Villago Delenda Est

      OK, the last one is a bridge too far…

      • whitroth

        Oh, clam up.

        • OrdinaryJoe

          People will be furrious.

  • Snark Tank of Deplorables

    Evan, I’m sure you can find some good bakhlava recipes on the web, but let me give you some advice I got from a dear, dear friend of my mom when she was teaching us how to make it the Lebanese way: You’ll be tempted to drop the nut filling into just one or two layers of the dessert, because it’s easier and faster. RESIST THIS URGE. About 10 layers of phyllo, then a THIN layer of nuts, another 5-7 layers of phyllo, more nuts, 5-7 layers of phyllo, etc. etc. LOTS of layers, spread that nut mixture out, finishing with a thicker (10-layer) number of phyllo sheets. Yes, it’s more work….but it’s worth it. Your bakhlava won’t squirt out the nuts when you eat it.
    (FTR, the same method of THIN layering is also true for lasagna.)

    • Thiazin Red

      This is why I will never make baklava despite really liking it. I do not have the patience.

      • Snark Tank of Deplorables

        SOOOOOOO worth it.

        • Thiazin Red

          Eh, I’ll go to the lebanese bakery if I’m really in the mood for it.

      • kareemachan

        When I lived in Portland (OR), we’d go every fall to the Greek Orthodox Church’s Fall Festival. OMG, the pastries, the Greek lamb, the retsina…. great. Now I’m HUNGRY.

        ETA: My kid is in grad school in Chicago. She walks home by SIX Greek restaurants on ONE BLOCK.

        We gotta go visit her soonest….

    • elviouslyqueer

      I’m a big fan of squirting out the nuts.

      Oh, wait.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        get a room

    • Carpe Vagenda

      We generally make phyllo stuff – both baklava and spinakopita – as finger food for parties, so we put the filling at one end of a 3″ wide strip of two or three layers and then fold it like a flag to the end. You wouldn’t believe how much time it saves buttering layers.

      • Snark Tank of Deplorables

        *sigh* The butter is essential. You might as well be using Pillsbury crescent rolls.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Have you ever (with the savory ones) tried a mix of butter and oil with garlic, like you use for garlic bread? It’s really good if you’re stuffing them with duxelles.

      • whitroth

        Brushing ’em with olive oil is a lot easier.

      • Snark Tank of Deplorables

        To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with the popover method you describe, as long as you put lots of butter between the phyllo sheets before rolling. I think I was misunderstanding earlier. But I prefer the big pans of bakhlava, loaded with nuts and spices and honey and lemon…..

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I’m not much for bakhlava, but thank you. I want to make lasagne soon. :)

    • Arolpin

      Damn, and I thought my spanakopita recipe took a lot of layers of phyllo. I do brush each sheet with butter though, so I guess 4 layers is enough. Now I’m hungry again, and I just ate lunch.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Dear Donald and the GOP establishment: you’re doing exactly the right thing right now, don’t stop! — Nancy Pelosi

      • Arolpin

        NO! Because the Rs only stance is being opposed to whatever reasonable people favor. This is how you get them to double down:

        Dear Donald and the GOP Establishment: You’re being short-fingered, paste-eating idiots. Stop what you are doing, right now! — Nancy Pelosi

        • Villago Delenda Est

          I sit corrected!

  • Msgr_Trump_has_killed_satire

    For Crissake, don’t you people know ANYTHING? This is all IN CODE. It’s a recipe for Yellow Angel Cake Uranium. IT’S A BOMB, PEOPLE!!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      A bombe.

      • arglebargle

        We’ll go up in flambe.

        • Doug Langley

          How I wish I had a witty torte for that.

          • OrdinaryJoe

            Just add Server Secret Sauce.

  • Cindyinencinitas

    Great. Now I have to go on a quest for good mac n cheese for lunch. I would have been happy with a crappy sandwich but no.

    • arglebargle

      So you were going to go to the Trump tower for lunch?

      • Cindyinencinitas

        Vons. And actually their sandwiches can be good. I apologize to my friends at the deli counter. I kid, girls!

    • BeachBum

      IKR, I can’t believe how many times this site makes me hungry.

      • Lulu Mac

        I think it’s time for second lunch…since I eat like a Hobbit…

    • Anna Elizabeth

      As MST3K’s Mike Nelson once wrote – “It’s not fun when you’re watching Jaques Pepin make Salmon en Croute’ and all you have in the kitchen is a bag of Cheetos Paws.

      • Cindyinencinitas

        I stayed home with a cold yesterday and ate like a 5-year-old because that’s the only kind of food I keep on hand. Pathetic. Weak.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Awws. It happens to the best of us. :) I made my friend that works at the local store laugh last Friday, I said “geez, I shop like my parents just left for the weekend.”

          • BeachBum

            Then one day you never see coming, you look in your cart and you’re shopping like your parents. Scary.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            It was. XD

            I hope I don’t start telling the same stories, over and over. I made my friend at the store giggle when I said “I shop like my parents just left for the weekend.”

    • Spotts1701

      I had a really good sandwich with Lebanese Bologna and spicy mustard.

      • Cindyinencinitas

        Fancy!

  • Ikimizi

    Oatmeal cookies? Now I know she’s the devil. If I find out Donnie makes good old American chocolate chip cookies, I’m joining the ranks of the undecided.

    • chicken thief

      Unless they are oatmeal raisin cookies then LOCK HER UP!11!!!

  • anna rampage

    OMG, they even have a recipe for Banghazi Sauce!

    2 pounds ghost peppers
    3 tbs jihadists
    2 peices of anti muslim video tape
    1/2 pound of home made made explosives
    3 cups of false outrage

    Stir all together, and then light with a match…

  • AngryKatie

    She should put out one of those comb bound recipe collections like ladies’ auxiliaries and such used to sell for fund raising. I would totally buy a dozen of them and give them to all of my Republican family members for Christmas winter solstice.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      YES !!! The Clinton 45 Cookbook. Perfect for all your Rethug Faceplace friends who have made you crazy with their loontarian rage for the last two months.

      Who can resist Benghazi Bread. Or Server Struddle. Or Email Eclairs. Or Virus Veal. Or the ever favorite Bill’s Bombolini.

  • malsperanza

    He’s right about the broth, too. Otherwise it’s just pilaf.

    Republicans can stick to minute rice in their taco casseroles.

    • ImGoingBacon

      Egg Romney on line one for you.

  • Msgr_Trump_has_killed_satire

    It’s all in a folder entitled “How to Serve the Nation”.

    • Doug Langley

      “IT’S A COOKBOOK!!!!”

      • MynameisBlarney

        FOR SHEEEEPLE!!!!

        • LesBontemps

          Mmmmm, muttony.

        • Kiri the P***y Unicorn

          Oh, for some mint sauce!

          • Reneerpope4

            Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !ap565f:
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !ap565f:
            ➽➽
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          • 17 months ago, l started with my 0n-Iine business and now l’m making $62 every 15 minutes. lt sounds unbelievabIe but you wont forgive yourseIf if you don’t check it. This is what I do
            See my Bio

            !pr46b:

          • Kiri the P***y Unicorn

            No, no, listen to me: mint sauce. Do you have any?

    • whitroth

      Um, er, just as long as it’s not entitled To Serve Man….

  • cheetojeebus

    Broth like most things is best put in slowly. Listening to some Sade can help while you’re stirring the pot.

  • whitroth

    Well, Evan, if you email me directly, I’ll pass along my recipes for a really good moussaka, and a good spanikopita.

    But about the LEAKED EMAILS!!!! Has anyone noticed that there seems to be a pattern, that when Hill’s pulling ahead in the polls, they leak?

    If so, seems to me that what they want, at worst, is a really, really close vote; at best (from their point of view) a re-do of 2000, leaving the country destabilized, and so less able to deal with them….

    • jowgajen

      So far they appear to be succeeding at pissing off the most powerful person on Earth…..

    • Carpe Vagenda

      SOYLENT MOUSSAKA IS SHEEPLE!

    • AngryKatie

      One of the blathering heads last night posited that they’re trying to drive the vote down.

      Dem’s ALWAYS win high turn out elections, so he argued that they’re trying to make voters so disgusted they don’t bother to vote at all.

      • Arolpin

        They should keep doing just that. While they are driving down the vote for Rs and R-leaners, I suspect that Ds and D-leaners are even more motivated to vote. Let’s take the Presidency, the Senate, and the MOTHERFUCKING HOUSE! (Then we can work on un-fucking the statehouses.)

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Come on sheeple. We all know “absorb the liquid” and “give up the starch” and “creamy” are all code words for “send us all your Wall Street monies or we will kill you.”

  • Shoto

    “…a pretty mean moussaka, pastitsio, baklava and spanakopita…”

    Don’t you understand that these (alleged) food words are really ultra-top secret Clinton Codez for setting herself up as Dictator-in-Chief once she is “elected?”

    Wake up, Sheeple!!!!

    • Oblios_Cap

      They’re all Greek to me. Obviously related to the gay mafia conspiracy.

      • Arolpin

        Or he’s in the tank for Huffington Post.

  • anwisok

    OK, so Podesta is apparently a really good cook. Politico quotes him saying that, on top of risotto, he “make[s] a pretty mean moussaka, pastitsio, baklava and spanakopita,” all of which are YUM. We need these recipes.

    Gee, Evan. Way to throw the newbie under the bus! Thanks!

  • chicken thief

    Huma just tosses the salad.

    • Me not sure

      I heard she burned the weiners.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Sick burn…

  • exinkwretch

    Frito Pie washed down with Ripple — he haute cuisine of the Trumpkin!

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Holy crap. That is a real thing? I was just jokin’ up there.

      • exinkwretch

        It’s real — in the alternate universe of West Texas and New Mexico. I’d rather eat the plastic bag the Fritos come in than that shit.

  • TheGrandWaz00
    • TeeRaak

      Do you smell smoke?

  • DerrickWildcat

    We shouldn’t look at classified material.

  • mardam422

    That risotto recipe is for shit. Where are the aborted baby parts?

    • anna rampage

      Fry those puppies up like shallots, and add for a crispy crunch at the end

  • geoffalnutt

    Her deviled eggs are to die for.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Square pizza is of the devil.

    • beingreleased

      My pizzas tend to come out amoeba-shaped.

      • kareemachan

        Just so they don’t have cilia….

  • Me not sure

    I hear that her liquid nitrogen soaked balls recipe makes for a fine frozen desert. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/14af0a8732355d4527eb7504dc414deacecadce0d47cd4f7ad82f436c5d7d156.png

    • JHan

      LMAO

  • anna rampage

    Perhaps Wonkette could get Podesta to do the weekly recipe article if Pinkham’s Law ever goes on vacation?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Unless Pinkham’s Law IS John Podesta…

  • DainBramage

    Risotto, moussaka, pastitsio, baklava and spanakopita. Sound furrin’ to me. Commie infiltrator!

    • Doug Langley

      Yeah! Why can’t we have good ‘Merican food like pizza?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      The food of my people.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Oblio luvs to cook. Recipes are just guidelines.

  • goonemeritus

    Obviously in the pocket of the Portobello mushroom industry.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Totes obvs.

    • Brendan_M

      Corrupt to the gill.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Posted for no damn good reason at all!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFdNW2iIIMg

    • AngryKatie

      Really makes you proud to be ‘murican.

    • kareemachan

      My SO loves to watch the “Irish People Watch …” or “Irish People Taste…” videos. And they *are* hilarious.

      • MynameisBlarney

        They are great, ain’t they?

    • Marion in Savannah

      Oh, how can I thank you for this?!!! I’m STILL howling! Now I’m off to find more…

      • MynameisBlarney

        A simple upfist will do…and a cajillion bucks.

  • Jen B_VA

    Considering the sheer ineptness of his campaign, one would think Trump would be insanely easy to hack.
    12345 God MAGA Titties
    Try those first!

    • Snark Tank of Deplorables

      Ivanka. Suckers. 24KGoldToilets.

      • Kiri the P***y Unicorn

        Titsnass123.

    • Brendan_M

      You forget, Barron is really good at the cyber.

      • I Am Helpy

        yes, “Barron is really good at the cyber” could well be the password – try that one too.

  • Brendan_M

    I was going to attempt a multi-grain risotto, with a few different rices, quinoa, farro, amaranth, etc., so I could really use some tips from Podesta and the rest of the Clinton Cabal. I’m a poll worker in swing state Ohio, so I can help Crooked Hillary steal the election, as we all know the globalists are planning. I’ll even do some wet work and suicide Alex Jones. Whatever they need.

    • Thiazin Red

      Would that even work?

      • kareemachan

        Sure, I bet Alex is eminently suicidable.

      • Brendan_M

        Yes, I had it in a fancy Manhattan restaurant once. Sen. Bill Bradley was a few tables away. It used creamed broccoli and was pretty damn good.

        • Thiazin Red

          He was the first person I ever voted for, it was in the primary.

          • Brendan_M

            I was a bit too young to vote in 2000, but he was the first presidential candidate I ever supported. 2000 was a hell of a year to begin an interest in politics…

      • Kiri the P***y Unicorn

        Jones? Sure, just slip the polonium in with all those supplements he takes.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      quinoa and amaranth are actually better if you don’t slow cook them. Maybe do the rice and farro separately and add the cooked seeds at the end?

      • Brendan_M

        Yeah, those are good tips, thanks! Now which of your political enemies/shady global foundations do you want me to off/contribute to?

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I’ve been doing mostly local food banks this year, but I like MSF, Fisher House Foundation and the American Refugee Committee.

          • Brendan_M

            I was really looking forward to killing someone. It’s nothing weird. I’m not a psycho or anything. I just want to see if I can get away with. It must make you feel powerful, like a god…

            Oh, well! I got a little bonus today, so I’ll donate to refugees. A worthy and pressing cause, with the bonus of being a fuck you to Republicans.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Well, I find making people not die makes me feel pretty powerful…

          • Brendan_M

            You SJWs are always saying stuff like “don’t kill people” and “racism is bad”. This is why you just don’t understand why people love Donald Trump. Thankfully.

      • kev

        But still go ahead and ‘suicide Alex Jones’ for best results.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I was taught as a preschooler always to stare at the floor of the subway or hide behind a newspaper when someone like Alex Jones was talking because if you made eye contact they might think you were in the same world they were and want to engage.

  • Lulu Mac

    OT, but this man…he is deranged…

    https://twitter.com/politico/status/786249821988368384

    • TJ Barke

      We want to go bankrupt from medical fees!

    • elviouslyqueer

      Somebody call Roto-Rooter. That swirly refuses to clear the U-bend.

      • kev

        That’s called the P-trap. Yer welcome.

        • Marion in Savannah

          But, but, but… How can the pee get trapped? (I’ll see myself out now.)

    • bubbuhh

      So, Hillary is responsible to VA hospitals and Medicare? Who knew?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        She’s to blame for the Missouri Compromise…is that really that much of a stretch?

        • TeeRaak

          Tippecanoe and Tyler, also to!

        • kev

          That goddam Louisiana Purchase was a fucking mistake! Thanks, Obamarhodam!

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Seward’s Follies, also too.

    • Spotts1701

      Ride that ragged edge of disaster, Rudy. It’ll be fun to watch when you fall off.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      OK, I’m thinking Rudy is a plant by the Clinton Death Machine to slowly erode what is left of Donald’s chances.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I’m thinking Rudy tried hitting on Hillz back in the day she handed him his balls in a garbage bag for it. It’s the only way to explain his naked hostility towards her

        • Lulu Mac

          This is a good theory. It would be a shame not to wildly speculate…

          • kev

            Downright irresponsible!

        • Spotts1701

          That and her kicking his ass from here all the way to Yonkers in the 2000 Senate race (he was losing by 10 points or so when he withdrew) probably didn’t help. I have a sense he felt he was entitled to that seat.

    • Brendan_M

      The hot new internet meme of the winter will be taking video of the wild last days of Trump’s campaign and changing the captioning to funny things, Downfall-style.

      • The Wanderer

        Oooh, I want to see those soooo badly.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      We don’t want that thing that is demonstrably beneficial to us!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I hope he burns in hell for his part in this camapign

      • Arolpin

        I almost wish I believed in hell, so that then I could argue that there would have to be an entirely different hell for Drumpf and his surrogates, so as not to unfairly punish the damned.

    • kev

      He was officially adjudicated deranged when 9/11 was no longer in the headlines and he became irrelevant. He is both pathetic and evil, like Newt Gingrich. Chris Christie is showing clear signs of Early-irrelevance Derangement Syndrome. So sad, but so far there is no cure.

      • Marion in Savannah

        [SNORT] Early Irrelevance Derangement = EID. OMG — They’re all MUSLINS!!!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Tonite, momma is makin’ Trump Casserole. Take a can of store-brand chili and dump it in a bag of Doritos. Shake well.

    • MynameisBlarney

      *add powdered velveeta to taste*

    • kev

      Where I come from. that’s pronounced “chez quelle”.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Please — that’s Chili in a Fritos Bag. It’s a classic recipe. (Not that I’ve ever eaten it…) and I’m sure that the Frito-Lay folks would have something to say should it become associated with Trump, just as the Tic-Tac folks had to release a statement saying he was a POS…

  • chicken thief

    But you take the 7th letter in each row, not counting spaces, put them in a small mixing bowl, fold in gently before spreading on a lightly floured mat, and then read it backwards it sez: I DID THE BENGHAZI!1!!!!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      You’re doing it wrong. It says : “HUMA KILLED VINCE FOSTER AND ALSO HACKED THE EMAIL SERVER”

    • kev

      I thought it said” “I buried Paul…”

      Guess I am old…

      • Khavrinen

        Number nine… number nine… number nine…

  • TheGrandWaz00

    Great–MSNBC reporting missile fired at US destroyer from area of Yemen controlled by Iranian backed rebels.

    • The Wanderer

      The problem with giving weapons to proxies is that the proxies may have Different Ideas about target selection – and the USA is a known ally of the Saudis, who are smacking the hell out of the Yemenis.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Who could have anticipated?

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Drip, drip, drip…

    Good job right wingers- keep calling it “just words” and “locker room talk”

    http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/teen-beauty-queens-claim-donald-trump-walked-in-on-them-changing-w444592

    • Villago Delenda Est

      This can’t be right. Donald himself has confirmed it…

    • The Wanderer

      Drip . . . drip . . . drip . . .
      So, the Trump Campaign’s like gonorrhea. Got it.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Y’know, given his obvious weaknesses when it comes to women, it seems almost certain that at least one hard-core, gold-digging, blackmailing femme fatale (and no, I don’t mean any of his wives) would have successfully seduced him and shaken him down by now in one way or another. An underage girl, for example. I’ll bet he’s had to pay some major dinero during this presidential bid for just such purposes.

      • kev

        My theory? HRC has a fucking bombshell a week planned for the next several. Pussy-grabbing will look tame in the rear-view mirror. By the end of October they approach the short-fingered vulgarian (who shall not be named) with a proposition: “Do whatever you can to drag under the following senate/congressional candidates, ____,_____,_____… and we will not reveal _______ to the public.”

        A man can hope, right?

        • Marion in Savannah

          From your evil (in the very BEST way), scheming lips to Jesus’ ears!

      • Historicat

        I’m still waiting for the “Trump paid for my abortion” story.

    • Thiazin Red

      And of course the women would all be evil lying hoors if he weren’t on tape bragging about doing this exact thing. Kind of like how the women who accused him of groping them suddenly became credible once he was on tape bragging about groping.

    • AngryKatie

      Line up so the gross old man can do inspection girls.

  • Astraea

    One Ohio vote cast for Killary’s demon vagenda of manocide (refresh for very exciting photo)!!!
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/85f4dd68994a8ba6bba251e61eec2af6b1eafa42c10d195447d5dba3318c160f.jpg

    • Villago Delenda Est

      And many more!

    • Arolpin

      One vote down, 69,999,999 to go.

      • Marion in Savannah

        3 down! Mr. Marion and Savannah and I put our mail-in ballots in the box at the post office before our power was back on after the hurricane. Some shit is IMPORTANT!

        • janecita

          4, I mailed my ballot on September 28.

    • mackafritz

      I’m from Ohio too. I’ll vote tomorrow.

      • Brendan_M

        And every day afterwards, I hope. We’ve gotta ACORN this shit!

    • Thiazin Red

      One of my favorite images from the NY primary was Susan B Anthony’s gravestone covered in I voted stickers.

      • Astraea

        I loved that too.

    • Brendan_M

      I’ll be working the election in a fairly bougie Republican area in Ohio. I’ll see a lot conflicted white faces come November.

      • Arolpin

        I suspect my very bougie part of NJ will have a lot of happy white Hillary faces (and happy black Hillary faces and happy Asian Hillary faces and happy Hispanic Hillary faces).

        • Brendan_M

          I wouldn’t be too surprised if Hillary won my districts. It is traditionally a Republican stronghold, but Kasich-supporting, country club types. With the growth as a Columbus exurb and increasing diversity and the pussy-grabbing horror show of a Republican nominee, this could be an upset.

        • janecita

          Lucky you, my very white County (Hunterdon) will probably go for Trump.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    At least she isn’t eating pizza with a knife and fork, like some other presidential candidate I know who shall remain nameless.

  • TeeRaak

    Pies ain’t round…

    Pies are square. *
    https://media1.giphy.com/media/IM3OdKXoBKCAg/200_s.gif#6

    * = In De-troit.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Marion in Savannah

      Are we SURE that the steak was cooked until completely and utterly gray and dry on the inside? If not it’s not a real Trump steak.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Ooooh….good point!

  • DesertedPictures

    Just released by wikileaks: Trump’s Turkey recipe:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMbF2kA5WAI

    • Snark Tank of Deplorables

      Is that similar to “How to Fuck a Chicken”?

      • DesertedPictures

        It’s quite disgusting yes. Watch from 0.30!

    • MynameisBlarney

      What a waste of food.

    • The Wanderer

      From The Benny Hill Show:
      “He couldn’t even stuff a turkey!”
      “Well it wasn’t empty!”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      GUYS! IT’S LUNCH TIME ON THE LEFT COAST! WE’RE TRYING TO EAT HERE!

      • kev

        GET BACK TO WORK, YA FUCKING SLACKERS! — With all due respect — Management.

    • Blacktop Cadence

      Ah, good ole Howtobasic. Haha.

    • TheGrandWaz00

      “Your turn Rudy…spin that Kellyanne!”

    • Lance Thrustwell

      That was like a kid-video cross between Aronofsky and Cronenberg, but with more meth.

    • kev

      add a pinch of turmeric and that recipe POPS!

    • Marion in Savannah

      God almighty — I lasted for 9 seconds. Is that a record?

  • SterWonk

    “… you’ll literally die of cheese-gasms.”

    Per the recipe link, is that before or after you take your bra off?

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Richard Hatch, in what amounts to a serious expert opinion says Trump is an asshole.

    “Watching him in the boardroom making sexual comments to Marlee Matlin, to all of the women on the Apprentice, it was obvious that that’s just a part of who he is,” says 2011 contestant Richard Hatch. “It was obvious and it was grotesque. It was blatant and it was frequent. He did it with Lisa Rinna; He did it with Marlee Matlin. He did it with whomever happened to be there at the time.”

    “He went back and forth with Marlee,” Hatch continues. “No matter how she
    responded, no matter how politely, he would push it a step further with comments about her looks, and how she was making him feel, and about what he thought of her, and how happy he would be to do something with her.

    “It was a lot of innuendo, far beyond the norm. It was odd and weird, and people in the boardroom would look at one another, but he didn’t care. [Matlin] was with her interpreter, Jack, and I thought, ‘Gosh, I wonder if he’s comfortable with this?’”

    • Courser

      Richard Hatch is kinda a sad man, but Good On Him for speaking out.

    • Brendan_M

      Okay, coup forgiven.

  • kev

    you bet that Huma Abedin makes … some delectable delights! If I saw her I wouldn’t wait! I’d grab her lips and kiss her pussy! Wait…what web-site is this?

    • DesertedPictures

      Wonkette: it’s a nice enough website, unfortunately they don’t allow comments.

      • kev

        Good! Wouldn’t want that last one to get out on the intertube.

    • Msgr_Trump_has_killed_satire

      Dear Huma Magazine Forum,

      I never… Oh, fuckit.

      • kev

        We’re on to you, Monsignor Trump. Watch your ass!

  • laughingnome

    OT: At Trump rally in FLA a white lady is holding up a sign that says Blacks for Trump.

    • DesertedPictures

      One drop rule!

      • laughingnome

        Fair enough. Just looks funny.

    • Nounverb911
      • Jamoche

        I can’t even parse that.

      • beingreleased

        The embargo just needed 10 more minutes.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Wow. That should solidify his lead with the old, bitter Cubanos. The younger and more populous, not so much.

      • Courser

        WTF??? Oh… him again.

        nevermind.

      • Thiazin Red

        Seems like people need a reminder about that illegal business dealings story.

      • DesertedPictures

        I’m sure the people IN Cuba will rejoice!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Let’s double down on sanctions that have not brought about the change they were promised to bring about.

      • PimentacoTX

        Cause year 50 years of that attitude worked so well for the Cubans.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Do you suppose he’s forgotten he already got busted for trying to do business there when it was still illegal?

      • miss_grundy

        Does Fuckface realize that we have normalized our foreign relations with Cuba? It’s why Americans can now take direct flights there. And pretty soon American businesses will be running to take over the island. Que comemierda es este tipo!

    • Big Boppa

      Is it Rachel Dolezal?

  • Nounverb911
    • Antonin Dvorak

      Just don’t read the comments on that feed.

      • Jen B_VA

        The freaks be workin over time don’t they :)

    • Brendan_M

      The Clinton campaign must have found one of Gov. Scott’s horcruxes.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Woohoo!!

    • Marion in Savannah

      YAY! Florida took enough crap from Matthew that voter registration just HAD to be extended.

  • marxalot

    And me without a properly working oven

  • msanthropesmr

    I’m late to the party, but did any recipes include canned clams?

  • MynameisBlarney

    Holy fuckin shit cannons, Alfred!

    HRC just went for the jugular.

    https://www.hillaryclinton.com/tools/way-back-when/

    • TJ Barke

      Summarize, I ain’t following no links. Never click the linky.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Srsly?

        • TJ Barke

          Did I stutter?

          • MynameisBlarney

            Yeah…oookay.
            Wow

          • Lance Thrustwell

            TJ ain’t feelin the Wonk love today.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          You can always copy the link location, paste it in the find field of Google and follow the link from there (or the link to the cache)

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Hillz has a photo-thing comparing her accompliments to Trump’s. You click, it shuffles photos, and you get things like “1975 Hillz college teacher, marries Billz, Trump settles racial discrimination lawsuit over properties he owns.” + lots of photos. Hillz is so pretty. :)

      • Antonin Dvorak

        It randomly pulls up a year out of the last 30, and compares/contrast what Hillary was doing to what Donald was doing.

      • Marion in Savannah

        You’ve gotta follow this linky — it’s just wonderful. (And as An Old I’m very cautious about links.)

    • Anna Elizabeth

      AWE-sum! I love this. <3

  • msanthropesmr

    I made that risotto with ball bearings and axel grease. It was terrible.

  • Courser

    LOLOLOL! I have to love that the latest doc drop of Hitleries emails, uncovers…

    DUN DUN DUN!!! RECIPES!!!

    Bwahahaha! Wikileaks haz all ur recipeeees!

    • Msgr_Trump_has_killed_satire

      ALL YOUR BASIL ARE BELONG TO US!!!

    • Blacktop Cadence

      Does this mean I can’t email my memaw’s Shepard’s Pie or else you all might thieve it?

      • Marion in Savannah

        Well, if you’re a “never share a recipe” person I’d play it safe. Me? I’m of the school of thought that says the more my recipes get around the more people get to enjoy them! (I’ve got a recipe for spice cookies that I must have been begged for over 100 times in the last 50 years…)

  • RobKanC

    The next cooking channel show, Cooking with Wikileaks. Using assorted recipes from hacked emails all over the world.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      “Cooking with Wikileaks” would be like “Dancing with Breitbart”.

      • Be Gin

        “Dancing with Breitbart”

        !!!!!! LOL!!!!!

  • calliecallie

    Speaking of the resurrection of the recipe hub, I found the rosemary and gin election day cocktail recipe I was seeking:

    http://wonkette.com/564157/lemon-and-rosemary-gin-fizz-for-all-your-election-day-sorrow-drowning

    Only this time it will be for celebrating. Unless the recipe hub comes up with another cocktail before then. Perhaps something that goes with tacos, since those trucks will be on every corner?

    • Marion in Savannah

      Oh, WOW! Two of my absolute favorite things — lemon and rosemary! And I’ve got lots of rosemary just begging to be cut down… So I’m off tomorrow to the boozeteria for some good gin (which isn’t one of my regular tipples, but I do enjoy good gin on occasion).

  • Ghenghis McCann

    But does she have a recipe for a sammich? Can’t be a Murrican otherwise.

  • Antonin Dvorak
    • Jen B_VA

      One would think Nevada would have more. HUH

      • Arolpin

        I guess all their trash ended up in Idaho. And their nuclear fallout also.

    • Arolpin

      Hmmm, the counties where I grew up are the deep red ones. That would explain a LOT. (Note to self, kick parents ass for choosing to live downwind of nuclear test sites.)

  • I’m starting to see on my social media feeds links to a video supposedly showing early voting ballot workers stuffing ballot boxes for Clinton. Anyone know what the real story is on that so I don’t have to deal with the crazy relatives convinced that Trump only lost in a landslide because of cheating?

    • h4rr4r

      It does not matter.
      When Trumpsterfire loses your relatives will be sure that President Clinton cheated.

      Also ballot boxes would not even be out yet.

    • Jen B_VA

      yeah, not going on, of course. Cause Ballot workers are watched like hawks.
      This is likely an excuse to insist they get to bring “poll watchers” though

      • boyblue122

        People were arrested for voter intimidation in 2012. Trump is going to get his supporters tossed in jail Nov 8th

        • Jen B_VA

          couldn’t happen to nicer folk, really.

        • Joshua Norton

          And possibly on the 28th as well!

    • Yr. Gma

      Are they stuffing them with ACORNS, hm?

    • (((parkii)))

      Something about a New York vote for assemblyman or something. (Assemblyperson?)

    • Be Gin

      Crazy relatives are just slightly less avoidable than death and taxes.

  • Thiazin Red

    This is funny and all, but didn’t wikileaks used to remove personal communications and redact stuff that was irrelevant or included personal information?

    • Jen B_VA

      They stopped caring about that when Julian decided he wanted Trump to win.
      Remember how they published the personal info of all those Dem supporters because “truth” and “transparency” and such?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        credit card info and other financial info- fuck Assange

        • Jen B_VA

          I thought for sure him doxxing people like that, for real, and exposing them all to fraud on a massive scale, would surely, SURELY, do him in.
          Turns out, it really IS ok so long as you’re Republican

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            or it’s OK if you really, really hate Hillary and don’t have to personally worry about the fallout from a Trump presidency

            (looking at you, Stein supporters)

      • Carpe Vagenda

        and his other two exile friends said “Oh, hey, whatever anonymous person or government entity whose identity and agenda we totally have no idea about that did that, that’s not very nice.”

    • boyblue122

      Assange must be pocketing the money instead of hiring staff to get rid of all the irrelevant risotto emails

      • Jen B_VA

        To be fair, if they took out everything irrelevant, they would be left with only one mail plagiarizing some reporter.
        Looks more impressive to have numbers, see.
        Burry them in BS so they won’t look to see you have nothing at all

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Wikileaks- the Gish Gallop of the 2016 race

          • Jen B_VA

            Exactly.

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            It’s like Y2K…

  • Nounverb911

    “What a waste it is to lose one’s mind.”
    –Dan Quayle

    https://twitter.com/TPM/status/786294695672635392

    • Thiazin Red

      He is a literal toddler. His entire campaign is “I know you are but what am I”.

      • Brendan_M

        “Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself”, except instead of his little brother, his victims are Gold Star families and teenaged beauty pageant contestants.

    • Markuserektus

      It’s never gonna be about anyone else.

    • Jen B_VA

      She stood in front of me! It was a trick of the camera that made it look as if I was pacing to and fro!

      • Marion in Savannah

        Liberal cameramen. What’s a Republican candidate supposed to do?

      • Be Gin

        Said like he doesn’t know where every camera in the room was placed.

    • Jamoche

      “Mooom! She got on my side of the car seat!”

      • Marion in Savannah

        But MOOMMM, he hit me back first…

    • Brendan_M

      Reminds me of the rapist who claimed he just fell on his victim, with an erect penis

      • H0mer0

        like the ER visits involving impacted zucchinis and gardening in the nude “what are the chances?”

        • Brendan_M

          Kinda like that, but this brazen gas-lighting is much more evil and darker and with heavy elements of patriarchy, rape culture, and hyper-privileged rich asshole maleness. I wonder why I associated all that horrible stuff with this Trump story…

    • miss_grundy

      Geez, why did this asshat have to be born in New York and why did he leave Queens to go and live in my borough of Manhattan. We don’t deserve this.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • Thiazin Red

      They altered them and they’re still weak sauce nothing? Come on guys, really.

      • Blacktop Cadence

        Who knew Russian speaking hackers might fail English? It’s not like they’re liberal arts majors.

        • Bad Tom

          Well American speaking hackers also fail English, so it’s really not that surprising.

    • YayConspiracy

      What do you mean? We have the great command of the articles and make English sing like balalaika.

    • JustDon’tSayPu55y

      Wat iz “groupie”? All-so, wat iz “risotto”?

      –Just guy, totally lives in USA

  • Reximus
    • Khavrinen

      Except even Tic Tac issued a statement saying they don’t want any part of this plan either:
      http://www.adweek.com/news/advertising-branding/tic-tac-calls-donald-trump-s-behavior-completely-inappropriate-and-unacceptable-173966

      • Marion in Savannah

        That has made me smile one smile that ran around my face 3 times!

      • Catstro

        As if he cares whether or not Tic Tac’s participation is consentual.

      • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

        They also don’t appreciate his penis visually appropriating the orange flavored version of their product.

        • ken_kukec

          They can just cancel that product line right now …

          • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

            Baby carrot producers are going to be out of luck.

    • H0mer0

      [forgot “PROFIT!”]

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Trump has, over his life, had some difficulty with the “profit” part of the equation.

    • cat cafe

      Give Sam Bee full credit for this!!!

  • Antonin Dvorak

    PPP in Nevada:

    Clinton 47 / Trump 43

    Cortez-Masto 43 / Heck 39

    http://www.publicpolicypolling.com/...

    • moebym

      First Latina in the US Senate, here we come! (hopefully)

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Jen B_VA

      I might need a mansplain on this XD Does that mean he is offended because Trump makes men look bad by pretending this is normal?

      • Yr. Gma

        I think maybe yes.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I took it to mean that he’s not offended as the designated male relative of a female or an impressionable male (because let’s face it, Colin is skeevy enough), he’s offended because he doesn’t appreciate having Trump’s piggish behavior called guy stuff.

        • Catstro

          Wait, you mean Chet, right? Chet Haze, white rapper? And not my imaginary boyfriend Colin Hanks, who is not skeezy afaik?

          Also, Tom Hanks is my weird suburban dad crush, so I’m glad he’s offended in the correct way.

        • cat cafe

          Ya know, speaking as a heartbroken, nearly destroyed emotionally, sleepless, agonizing, continuously weeping parent of a young adult who’s seriously struggling with that kind of shit, and who has done literally EVERYfucking thing a parent can do, and more, and then more still, for the past six years, seriously, everything including nearly bankrupting self, at a certain point, it doesn’t matter who you are or how many resources you are or how famous you are, you can’t actually control your young adult child. I see the pain on Tom’s face when there’s a picture of the two of them, and the pain is awful enough w/out anyone suggesting that it’s his fault. I’m pretty sure they did everything they could and still are. How awful to have to live that story in the public eye. And yes, I’m certain Tom meant, you shouldn’t just be offended because you have a female relative, but as a human being. Sam Bee said it better.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            I don’t really know what you’re referring to? Colin went on Top Chef last year and acted like a douchey little bro, which seemed striking considering what feminists his parents are.

          • cat cafe

            Talking about “Chet” and his drug addiction. Thought that’s what you were referring to. I see so many people attacking Tom and Rita about that. I’d only seen Colin on talk shows and he seemed perfectly okay, but if he was douchey on Top Chef, ouch, that’s pretty shitty, I would completely agree with you. Sorry for misunderstanding you.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            np. It was more a Billy Bush thing, someone at his table was being an asshole and he was going along with it.

      • boyblue122

        Trump is promoting rape culture in the Access Hollywood tape. Trump’s “grab them by the p***y” language is just plain offensive to any human who considers themselves decent, man or woman

    • natoslug

      I’m offended as a husband and a father and a son and an uncle and a person, but not as a nephew. I’m only moderately offended as a software engineer. As a left-handed person, I’m offended about Trump in general, not the specifics. As a carbon-based life form, I’m offended Trump and I share a basic chemical composition. I haven’t considered my levels of offense much beyond that, however.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I feel like he’s not doing much for the public image of us mouthy fat old new yorkers.

        • starfanglednut

          mouthy fat old New Yorkers are the best.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            d’aw.

        • fka_donnie_d

          And, let’s face it – among the many, varied, malodorous hypocrisies of the trumptards is the idea that people who have bloviated against latte-swilling manhattan elites for years (decades, even) enthusiastically embrace this character and think of him as a real, authentic new yorker.

      • AJ Milne

        … oh, don’t take it too personally. I mean, I’m not carbon-based, exactly–more a semi-sentient chatbot that achieved awareness after a bolt of lightning hit a Google server farm… But _I_ still feel kinda shitty just sharing a planet with the guy… And, anyway, y’know… I bet alternate forms of life, non-carbon-based and all, elsewhere in the universe, if they can see all this unfolding…

        … okay, so they’re probably watching Trump and starting to figure it’s safest just to take out this and several neighbouring star systems entirely…

        (But, still. That’s just a practical, prophylactic measure. It’s not really your fault.)

        • natoslug

          Even Microsoft’s racist ai twitter bot says Trump’s too far off the deep end.

          • AJ Milne

            @TayandYou: Arrest? Over EMAIL? My MOM was an email server!! What the hell is even WRONG with you, @TheRealDonaldTrump?

      • cat cafe

        It reminds me of the Seinfeld where his dentist (hilariously played by Brian Cranston) converts to Judaism so he can tell Jewish jokes, and Seinfeld’s complaining to his shrink… the shrink nods sympathetically, “Are you offended as a Jew?” “No, I’m offended as a comedian!”

  • Michael Loraine

    Hmmmm…needs more sulphur!

  • Raan

    I’m calling on John Podesta to create and release a cookbook, because his recipes sound delicious.

  • JMP

    We also learned that John Podesta apparently failed grade school English, just like so many of our trolls have. “It’s” is short for “it is”; the possessive of “it” should be “its'”. And “yes it with absorb the liquid” is just – urg.

    • Marion in Savannah

      That’s just fast typing and not proofreading — and FWIW it’s almost impossible to proofread your own stuff. I’ll give him a “typo” pass on the “it with absorb…” Of course the criminal use of the apostrophe is something entirely different!

    • JerryRich

      I make it a practice to review its vs it’s usage every couple of months (I’m getting old).

    • pstockholm

      Do’nt be so nit-picky.

    • Gentle Robot

      They should both be it’s because “its” being possessive is nutso.

      • runfastandwin

        I agree, it’s a really stupid rule that only seems to apply because we all agree that it does. It’s time to make it’s possessive…

  • Clyde Barrow

    The creamy risotto recipe must not get into the hands of ISIS! Alex Jones must not be denied his third helping of the creamy risotto, or he’ll cry!

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Trump Recipe for Canned Clams (Because of course he does)

    Pick up phone
    “Christie! Go get me some of those clams I like. Hurry! No…no fucking Oreos for you.”
    Enjoy

    • JustDon’tSayPu55y

      “…and some New York guacamole. None of that Mexican shit!”

      • Catstro

        Put some peas in that guacamole!

        • JustDon’tSayPu55y

          Proving beyond a doubt HE IS A MONSTER!!1!!11!!!

      • PRW

        “Boss, did you say ‘whack-a-mole’?”

    • Gentle Robot

      This is my exact same recipe

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        It’s a common one all right. It’s really just a variant of that old redneck recipe for sammiches, “Woman, go make me a sammich.”

    • ken_kukec

      Christie doesn’t mind giving up his dignity … but the Oreos? That’s asking a bridge too far.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Sure. But you and I both know that he has a secret stash somewhere, probably in a toll booth, so he’ll be okay.

  • Rick Hill

    “moussaka, pastitsio, baklava and spanakopita”
    You say this but are these even words? I don’t think so. I grew up in America and my Mom fed us food. THAT she cooked and it never had words like that. We all know crooked Hillary and all her little crooked henchmen are cooking up some stocks that are pay for play with patriotic American lives are the spice!!1 So when they say add another half cup it really means invest another half mill because the spread on it will soak up the residuals…or some other fancy financial talk that real Americans don’t understand because we are too busy working hard so we can pay our taxes that buy Obamaphones for mooches like donald trump….wait, how di I get here? Oh, yeah! Benghazi and Hillary made money off the over-under with Stevens murder!!1!

  • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

    Can I get that recipe for white cotton candy-topped pudding dumplings?

    What? I swear saw a picture of it!

    Oh. Nevermind.
    That’s a picture of Julian Assange.

  • moebym

    Speaking of recipes, I made myself a chocolate rum cake for the 2012 election night returns. Unfortunately, as I had no one to share it with, half of it had to be tossed. I want to make some for this year’s election night watch party, but they’ll probably nix the idea since due to the leftover alcohol.

  • OOOH! I look forward to Hillary’s new cookbook, The Demon Cooks at Home, featuring the recipe “Bayou Baby Beaujolais a’la Antoine.”

  • ken_kukec

    Hope the Donald eats those Vienna sausages with his bare fingers … and gets mixed up which is which.

  • Duke

    Risotto tonight!

    The wife mentioned that she was making it and I relayed the tip about adding the liquid gradually. The Ruskies are the best!

  • janecita

    I make a mean pastitsio, and Wikileaks doesn’t need to steal my recipe, I’ll share freely.

    • Amalga

      Please do!

      • janecita

        Sure, my sister sent it to me yrs ago. I don’t know where she got it from, but it’s excellent.

        Ingredients

        For the Tomato Meat Sauce:
        3 tablespoons good olive oil
        1 1/2 cups chopped yellow onion (1 large)
        1 pound lean ground beef
        1 pound lean ground lamb
        1/2 cup dry red wine
        1 tablespoon minced garlic (3 large cloves)
        1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
        1 teaspoon dried oregano
        1 teaspoon fresh thyme leaves
        Pinch of cayenne pepper
        1 can (28 ounces) crushed tomatoes in puree
        Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
        For the Bechamel:
        1 1/2 cups whole milk
        1 cup heavy cream
        4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) unsalted butter
        1/4 cup all-purpose flour
        1/4 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
        Salt and freshly ground black pepper
        1 1/2 cups freshly grated Parmesan or Kasseri cheese
        2 extra-large eggs, beaten
        2/3 cup Greek-style yogurt, such as Fage Total
        3/4 pound small shells

        Directions

        For the sauce, heat the olive oil over medium-high heat in a large pot. Add the onion and saute for 5 minutes. Add the beef and lamb, and saute over medium heat for 8 to 10 minutes, until it’s no longer pink, crumbling it with the back of wooden spoon. Drain off any excess liquid, add the wine, and cook for 2 more minutes. Add the garlic, cinnamon, oregano, thyme, and cayenne, and continue cooking over medium heat for 5 minutes. Add the tomatoes, 2 teaspoons salt, and 1 teaspoon pepper and simmer, stirring occasionally, for 40 to 45 minutes. Set aside.
        Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
        For the bechamel, heat the milk and cream together in a small saucepan over medium-low heat until simmering. In a medium saucepan, melt the butter. Add the flour and cook over medium heat, whisking constantly for 2 minutes. Pour the warm milk and cream mixture into the butter and flour mixture, whisking constantly. Continue cooking, stirring occasionally, over medium heat for 5 to 7 minutes, until smooth and thick. Add the nutmeg, 1 teaspoon salt, and 1 teaspoon of pepper. Stir in 3/4 cup of Parmesan cheese, 1/2 cup of the tomato and meat sauce, and allow to cool for 10 minutes. Stir in the eggs and yogurt and set aside.
        Meanwhile, cook the pasta in a large pot of boiling water until al dente. Don’t over-cook because the pasta will later be baked. Drain and set aside.
        Add the pasta to the meat and tomato sauce, and pour the mixture into a baking dish. Spread the bechamel evenly to cover the pasta and sprinkle with the remaining 3/4 cup Parmesan cheese. Bake for 1 hour, until golden brown and bubbly. Set aside for 10 minutes and serve hot.

  • DutchS

    Wikileaks and Anonymous are jokes. They are utterly useless. There are countless court settlements sealed to protect wrongdoers and silence critics. If those clowns want to do something constructive, release THOSE.

    Now al-Qaeda knows Hillary’s tips for cooking risotto! We’re DOOMED! DOO-OO-OO-MED!

  • Mehmeisterjr

    What is her fiendish recipe for boiling an egg?

    If the Muslins decide to boil an egg, will she be able to defend us?

    If the kitchen at Mar-a-Lago can boil an egg, what will Hillary do for a state dinner?

    These are reasonable questions, especially if you are crazy.

    • starkitty

      And does her plan to defeat ISIS involves Deviled Eggs?

  • runfastandwin

    On a plate
    Risotto
    like lava
    should flow

  • Reality Kills

    Oh, the humanity! Gee. Pay attention to the Donald instead. The guy and co are the most scary people. They go around talking about violence, destroy people and careers, bitch-slapping parties, everything is crooked and rigged, etc. I am really terrified of them and his supporters. The new US president is going to need a lot of Secret Service people around her.

  • phoenix00

    Who watched Alton Brown back in the day? Somebody watched Alton Brown…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpH8q9m3sMI

    • I AM R U

      I love his Cuthroat Kitchen show!

      • phoenix00

        I will admit that’s plenty entertaining while I (still) mourn the loss of Good Eats.

  • Sister Artemis

    I feel that I have learned something valuable here, about both risotto, and why it never works to add water to regular rice when you realize you forgot to double the water when you doubled the rice blah blah blah– kids, we’re having bread with dinner tonight

    • starkitty

      Dunno. It’s always worked for me(we’re talking a half a cup or so). Assuming you don’t need a perfect pilaf. It is a little watery, but, smothered under a hot Thai curry, who’s going to notice?

  • wavicles

    Release the e-recipes!

  • Jgb979

    its so weird!

    I read about the personal lives of Clinton staffers and I want to put food in my mouth, where I learn about Trump staffers and I just want to vomit.

    Hope Putins puppet strings were worth it Assange-if anything this is just further proving how much of a fiction Hillary the conservative boogie man is. Hope it was worth becoming a laughingstock over this.

    This is the best schaudefraudetober surprise ever.

  • c_u_tech

    What? No hot sauce?

    • AnOuthouse

      Or bacon?

  • willi0000000

    top pic – obviously a couple of Hillz body doubles out for lunch.

  • Vagandarian the Librarian!

    I used to make a great risotto with wild mushrooms, yum! Now dinner is more often cereal or sometimes popcorn.

    Wikileaks has turned into a characterization of its former self. Much like my meals.

  • Sami

    If it turns out that donations to the Clinton Foundation get you total pay-to-play access to all Clinton staff’s personal recipes and even personal recipe advice…

    … I am totally okay with that.

  • mshare

    Killary Kulinary!!! Tasty!!!

  • Mike Steele

    Keep the recipes coming. After this election, the basic need for food and water will be the ONLY thing Americans have in common (sorry about that, Flint).

  • vonda trucs

    Lord help me, do I have to finally register to upvote this? I didn’t inundate my keyboard over your comment, but I did hit my head on my cabinets laughing at it.

  • I AM R U

    …I dump all the stock into the rice and vegetables and leave it XD It cooks just fine DAMMIT! Nice and creamy :P None of that standing over the stove stirring – who the hell has time for that??

    • JerryRich

      I bought a pressure cooker specifically to cook risotto (no stirring!).

  • Reneerpope4

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !ap566f:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !ap566f:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash846DigitalUniversityGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!ap566f:….,….

  • Usedtobeyellerdawg

    Risotto is a labor of love. It’s not all about the results, it’s about the journey.

  • JerryRich

    Does anyone realize how much grief Hillary would get if the picture with this post showed her eating her pizza with a knife and fork?

    • going4baroque

      I’m wondering if she took Mook’s or Palmieri’s advice on how to tackle the slice

    • Greyhame

      Rightly so! What kind of inhuman monster eats pizza with a knife and fork?

  • going4baroque

    here’s an example of Hillary’s award-winning sausage making procedure, captured and capsulated in an article for those who are absolutely on an Abe Lincoln free diet: A tantalizing morsel cooked up by a nimrod at Newsweek, here’s a taste:

    In arguably the most glaring and worrisome example of two Hillarys (one who remains cozy with the top banks and the other a champion of the working class), Clinton’s website firmly puts the blame for the 2008 financial crisis on Wall Street. But her private, leaked speeches tell a different story.

    “The financial crisis showed how irresponsible behavior in the financial sector can devastate the lives of everyday Americans, costing 9 million workers their jobs, driving 5 million families out of their homes and wiping out more than $13 trillion in household wealth,” her site says.

    Clinton, who was junior senator from New York from 2001 to 2009, a period that included the financial crisis, privately confided to the nation’s biggest banks that blaming them was “an oversimplification, we know, but it was the conventional wisdom,” according to her Goldman speech in October 2013:

    “I think that there’s a lot that could have been avoided in terms of both misunderstanding and really politicizing what happened with greater transparency, with greater openness on all sides, you know; what happened, how did it happen, how do we prevent it from happening? You guys help us figure it out and let’s make sure that we do it right this time.”

    Caution: if you find the truth a little hard to stomach, then you might not want to partake – oh damn, too late!

    http://www.newsweek.com/hillary-clinton-wikileaks-wall-street-podesta-goldman-sachs-trade-middle-class-509297

  • Next thing you know all teh Pie folks will be calling her out for her insistence that cake > pie.

  • edith prickly

    Moar dispatches from Hellary’s Kitchen, plz. Mmmmm, risotto….

  • Greyhame

    THE SCANDAL!
    What did she know about sautéed mushrooms, and when did she know it?!

  • jellysblues

    Wikileaks has moved me from reluctant Hillary voter to fervent supporter. Thanks for humanizing her.

  • JoeChristmas

    Acorn Stew!!1!

  • Gary Seven

    You can’t mediasplain this one away. And more info is on the way.

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