So, this Cuba story in the Newsweek! Let’s talk about it briefly, and then LMAO at Trump campaign manager Kellyanne Conway, for basically admitting on “The View” that her boss is a great big crimer who breaks the law, with crimes.
Way back in 1998, one of Trump’s companies secretly did some bidness in Fidel Castro’s Cuba, when the embargo was still very much in effect. Regardless of what you think about the embargo, this was AGAINST THE LAW. Here’s how it worked:
… [W]ith Trump’s knowledge, executives funneled the cash for the Cuba trip through an American consulting firm called Seven Arrows Investment and Development Corp. Once the business consultants traveled to the island and incurred the expenses for the venture, Seven Arrows instructed senior officers with Trump’s company—then called Trump Hotels & Casino Resorts—how to make it appear legal by linking it after the fact to a charitable effort.
The payment by Trump Hotels came just before the New York business mogul launched his first bid for the White House, seeking the nomination of the Reform Party. On his first day of the campaign, he traveled to Miami, where he spoke to a group of Cuban-Americans, a critical voting bloc in the swing state. Trump vowed to maintain the embargo and never spend his or his companies’ money in Cuba until Fidel Castro was removed from power.
He did not disclose that, seven months earlier, Trump Hotels already had reimbursed its consultants for the money they spent on their secret business trip to Havana.
CRIME! CRIME! CRIME! Yeah, white collar crime is tres boring, but it’s still CRIME! CRIME! CRIME!
Of course, it’s not surprising that Trump would do secret business with Castro’s Cuba, considering he was also OK with doing business with dead Libyan fucker Muammar al-Qaddafi.
Any-hoo, read the whole Newsweek thing if you want to, but right now it’s time to make fun of Kellyanne Conway completely confirming all of this on “The View,” like a good little campaign surrogate:
“THE VIEW” CO-HOST PAULA FARIS: I want to ask you about a story … that one of Trump’s companies spent money in Cuba during the embargo, when Fidel Castro, during his regime …
[AUDIENCE GASPS LIKE WTF]
KELLYANNE CONWAY: You have to read the whole story, to find out he didn’t invest in it. … Read the entire story. It starts out with a screaming headline, as it usually does, that he did business in Cuba, and it turns out that he decided not to invest there. You have to read the entire story.
FARIS: So are you denying that his company spent any money in Cuba?
CONWAY: I think they paid money, as I understand from the story, they paid money in 1998, and we’re not supposed to talk about years ago when it comes to the Clintons, but with Trump …
SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT THE CLINTONS, KELLYANNE CONWAY. You just admitted that yes, the Newsweek story is totally correct and yes, Trump secretly spent money in Castro’s Cuba, which is against the law, whether or not Trump ultimately decided to invest MORE money in Cuba. Good lord.spent time talking about how Conway told Megyn Kelly it’s no faiiiiir that Hillary Clinton releases all these mean ads about how Trump is disgusting toward women, by using tape of him being disgusting toward women. She’s soooooo upset that Mean Hillary calls Trump names, when Delicate Donald would never stoop so low as to name-call. She’s complained that nobody believes Trump when he says he would have voted against the Iraq war, simply because he’s on the record supporting the war at the beginning. She’s conflicted as to the meaning of the word “unconstitutional,” and whether it means you can’t do the thing you want to do, just because it’s quote-unquote “unconstitutional.”
So, um — not to go all Judgy Wudgy Was A Bear up in here — but we’re beginning to think Kellyanne Conway is bad at her job. GRANTED, being Trump’s campaign manager is probably the most UNPOSSIBLE job in the world, but this is getting embarrassing.
Luckily, we have an idea, a suggestion for Donald Trump, which we will share in the form of a letter we composed:
Dear Spray-Tan McFuckFace:
You’ve done this several times, but we think that right now, 40 days out from the election, it’s time to YOU’RE FIRED! all your staff again. We have no idea who you should replace Ms. Conway and the “alt-right” racist dude from Breitbart with. You’re such a brilliant businessman, you should be able to pick good people this time, not that any of your previous choices have been S-M-R-T. Maybe you could just get Omarosa to round up a bunch of your fellow reality TV idiots, and make them your staff! Campaign CEO Omarosa, campaign manager Honey Boo Boo’s Mom, press secretary Duck Dynasty Dude … the possibilities are ENDLESS!
You’re still going to fucking lose the election, of course, but at least your new idiot staff will be more entertaining than your current idiot staff.
Just a suggestion.