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Donald Trump makes this face when he has a "faulty mic."
Donald Trump makes this face when he has a ‘faulty mic.’

One of the most difficult things about watching Monday night’s presidential debate was how every three seconds Donald Trump was like HONK! and SNORT! and SNIFFLE! and sucking gnarly mucus bits up inside his brain. Like, has somebody checked on his health lately? Because for a man of his age, who, according to Dr. Oz, is kinda porky, and whose skin is so thin you can practically see all the weak, disgusting organs inside his icky wrinkle body, those sniffles could mean something. Something BIG.

Trump tried to explain it all away on “Fox & Friends,” like a common Hillary:

No, no sniffles. You know, the mic was very bad, but maybe it was good enough to hear breathing,” Trump said on Fox & Friends Tuesday morning. “But no sniffles. No cold.”

Earlier on the Fox show, Trump even suggested that someone had purposely tampered with his microphone.

“I had a problem with a mic that didn’t work. My mic was terrible. I wonder if it was set up that way on purpose,” he said. “I don’t want to believe in conspiracy theories, of course.”

Yes you do, you stupid birther.

Anyway, let’s judge for ourselves how much Trump is dying right now, of sniffles:

Yeah, we’re pretty sure Trump is hiding something in his tiny hands, and that something has to be major medical problems. We visited our old pals at WebMD and used the symptom checker to find out what Trump is dying of. First you have to say whether you are a boy or a girl (“boy”) and how old you are (we picked “way too ancient and crusty to be president, that’s for sure!”) And then you put in your symptoms, and for Trump we picked “runny nose,” “drainage or pus,” “difficulty breathing” and “noisy breathing.” Now you might think, c’mon Wonkette, do you really think Trump had PUS coming out of his failed brain? We think it’s a possibility! We don’t know what’s inside Trump’s body, and neither do you.

trumpsymptoms

According to the real doctors, this could mean many things! Oh, there are the normal things, like acute sinusitis, common cold and indoor allergens. Maybe the liar Trump was just having an allergic reaction to all the #truth Hillary was spewing in his general direction! But there are some more serious possibilities, like “foreign object in the nose.” HMMMMM, what could be sticked up in Trump’s sad nose? His dignity? Hillary’s foot? His tax returns that show he’s not as rich as he’d like us to believe?

Or just cocaine, as Stephen Colbert suggested last night:

colbert

It really could be cocaine. That’s kind of how common cokeheads sniffle. And Trump was up alllllll night tweeting, maybe because of the cocaine. Does Donald Trump snort drugs? WE DON’T KNOW, WE ARE JUST ASKING.

Another possibility WebMD suggests is West Nile Virus. DOES DONALD TRUMP DO COCAINE WITH INFECTED MOSQUITOES? Sorry, don’t mind us, just trying to do some journalism here.

And speaking of journalism, we’d hate to treat this any less seriously than the chairborne, paste-eating “medical experts” who are always trying to solve the “conspiracy” behind Hillary Clinton’s health. So we need to consider some other options, of what Trump is hiding.

Is he already scouting for wife number four, with his (allegedly!) shriveled ding-dong? Maybe he’s been sniffling around the wrong ladies, and has gotten himself an STI that causes cocaine sniffles. COULD HAPPEN! Hey Donald? We promise they make dick-wrappers in your size, even if you have to special order them.

Or maybe, like Hillary, he is concealing Parkinson’s or Down syndrome or epilepsy, and the only way he masks the symptoms is by sniffling like a coke addict with pollen allergies.

OR MAYBE all his loud sniffling is actually what it sounds like when Trump cries, but his beady little eyes can’t produce tears, because he has a problem with his tear ducts, or maybe he just doesn’t have a soul. WAS THE BIG PUSSY SNIFFLE-SOBBING BECAUSE THE MEAN LADY HILLARY GIGGLED AT HIM?

Good gracious, we could just go on for days, trying to figure out what’s ailing Frail Little Donald so, but we just remembered we don’t fucking care. RELEASE THE LONGFORM MEDICAL RECORDS, DIPSHIT.

[People]

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  • Msgr_Moment

    What a sniffling coward.

  • Nounverb911
  • Dr.Zoidberg

    Trump was smelling what the Rock was cooking?

    • chimichanga

      You crack me up!

  • Joe Beese
  • BearGHAZI

    I heard he got AIDS from Magic Johnson

    WHICH IS FAIR TO INSINUATE

    • Joe Beese

      I hope not. I don’t know. But people are talking about it on the Internet.

    • It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

    • Lizzietish81

      MAGIC JOHNSON LIBEL!

    • Arolpin

      No, not Magic Johnson, because he treats his HIV, has never developed AIDS, and quite possibly has a viral load so low as to be undetectable for HIV most of the time. Drumpf got AIDS from Roy Cohn (who was possibly the only person in American politics worse than Drumpf).

  • laughingnome

    Emphysema? Brain worms? Dry rot? Darth Vaderism?

    • Nounverb911

      Eric, I ammm not your father….

      • Deplorable Ron

        ‘YESSSSS! IT’S TRUE!’

  • Nounverb911
    • Jo Mathie

      Debating isn’t really his strong point is it? Perhaps he should stick to howling into the abyss…

      • Nounverb911

        HEY ABBBYYYSSSS!

        • Deplorable Ron

          No-one’s on first, nothing’s on second and we can never know anything’s on third.

    • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

      HAHAHAHAAAAAAA!! I CAN’T! STOP IT!

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    “I had a problem with a mic that didn’t work. My mic was terrible. I wonder if it was set up that way on purpose,” he said. “I don’t want to believe in conspiracy theories, of course.”

    This is basically Trumpanzee passing on a talking point to his dumb troll followers.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Operation #SudafedGate, engage!

  • Deplorable Ron

    It’s so obvious!
    She gave him pneumonia!
    C’mon, Trumpanzees, I can’t do ALL your work for you.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Today @ Drudge:

    MEDICAL MIRACLE: SHE STANDS FOR 90 MINUTES!http://www.drudgereport.com/

  • FauxAntocles

    #TrumpOnCoke ?

  • tehbaddr

    He snorts mosquitoes, and got a bad batch last night!

  • laughingnome

    Bilious Fever? Swamp gas? Bronze John?

  • memzilla
  • MynameisBlarney
    • Rachel Book Harlot

      I also loved the “everyone was doing it” explanation for racism.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yeah for real lol.
        He was deflecting and projecting like mad last night.

      • TeeRaak

        And how he was bragging about “how easy” it was to get a “settlement”.

        Why settle if you did nothing wrong? Doh.

    • zerosumgame0005

      did you catch the part about he first said it was daddy’s company? just continuing the KKK legacy of his family

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yup.
        Trump was stepping in it every time he turned around.

  • beatbort

    I think he has rickets. Ladies and gentlemen, our new comedy sensation, Don Rickets!
    Let’s give him a tiny-fingered welcome!

  • Joe Beese
  • Is it just me, or am I crazy to imagine that slipping him some speed or LSD before the next debate would not only make things funny as hell, but might actually make him more intelligible. Not that I am actually suggesting things, but I’m laughing inside right now.

  • 52camellias

    Maybe someone spiked his microphone with hot sauce. Just asking . . .

  • laughingnome

    Camp Fever? Cold Plague? Consumption? Canine Madness?

    • Joe Beese

      Lupus? Is it lupus??

      • Deplorable Ron

        It’s never lupus.

        • Yr. Gma

          It’s always lupus.

    • Longstreet63

      Demon possession?

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      Scrofula? Dropsy? The Whimm-whamms?

  • spends2much

    I think he may have been allergic to the tan-coloured makeup he was sporting. Clearly, he should stick to his regular tone: Sunkist.

    Also- the Colbert Tweet x 100000000000000000000000000

  • BMW

    After reading some of the rightwing spin today and how great they think he did, I’m starting to think they *want* babbling idiot as president.

    • Joe Beese

      Can’t wait for the Hannity show today.

      Snifflegate probably won’t come up. But I’m sure he’ll vouch for how against the Iraq War his bud was.

  • Agnes Featherbottom

    How does one copy a Tweet to share it? I so want to share Dr. Howard Dean’s from last night.
    You know, where he says this :
    Notice Trump sniffing all the time. Coke user?

    • Msgr_Moment

      Just copy the URL and post it in your paste.

  • laughingnome

    Flux of Humour? French pox? Eel thing? Elephantiasis?

  • Because of his problems putting together a coherent sentence, I’m guessing it was the last remnant of his shriveled dead conscience slowly being expelled from his brain by an ever expanding Id which is causing massive frontal lobe damage.

    Should he win, I expect the Id will shatter the boundaries of his skull during his inauguration speech and destroy a 3 mile area of Washington DC from the epicenter. You can decide for yourself whether or not this would be a good thing.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      As long as the entire GOP congressional delegation is in the blast zone, it’s good.

  • zerosumgame0005

    Please proceed! you ams funny!

  • elviouslyqueer

    Clearly, Donald was suffering from Boogie Fever, with a side of Reefer Madness.

  • Shibusa
  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    Sniffing, insatiable need for water, motor mouth and excitability. I’m going with…
    http://ih1.redbubble.net/image.13555255.5956/flat,1000×1000,075,f.u3.jpg

  • Poly_Ester

    “It was my mic that made those noises, not me. It was my mic that said those things not me.” “BAD mic!”

  • laughingnome

    Polio Potter’s Asthma? Quinsy? Fear of Holes?

  • Major_Major_Major
    • Jonny On Maui

      Size large? Really?

      • Major_Major_Major

        Were they? I didn’t check. Just that they were finger cots. I’m rather embarrassed now.

  • Señor Skwerl

    I’ll look for a better link, but sniffles the cat doesn’t like trump.

    https://www.facebook.com/kenny.francois.16/videos/10100531763610109/

    • Jonny On Maui

      That cat knows turds should be buried…

  • AngryKatie

    If you webmd the snorting/noisy breathing, excessive thirst, increased talkativeness, and involuntary movements like lip smacking you get (among other things): epilepsy, cocaine abuse, and bipolar disorder.

    So obviously Trump has all of these.

    • Longstreet63

      While I am not a doctor, I give this theory my professional medical approval.

      • willi0000000

        i hope you at least play one on TV!

  • Longstreet63

    Donnie’s hardly the only one who needed a few snorts to get through the debate…

  • Astraea
  • tihond

    Has anyone died of hubris yet?

    • Mackers or Hamlet?

    • DainBramage

      Hitler. Mussolini.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Sounds like somebody’s been hitting Prescott Pharmaceutical’s Water Seal a little too hard.

    Side Effects may include:
    Bearded Thalamus
    Transsexual Kidneys
    Rectal Dyslexia

    • Msgr_Moment

      or….
       Dry Mouth
       Severe Weight Loss
       Restless Leg Syndrome
       Restless Arm Syndrome
       Restless Torso syndrome
       Massive weight gain
       Phantom Hand Syndrome
       Vivid dreams of self-cannibalism
       Scruffula
       Bad humors
       Late onset albinoism
       Dry mouth
       Hairy Uvula
       Mild kidney explosions
       Testicular cranberrying
       Rectal hallucinations
       Pulminary weevils
       Brain tooth
       Reemergence of the umbilical cord
       Urethral nodding
       Honus Wagner’s disease
       A rare and irreversible condition known as carcassing

      • Iron Monkey

        I wondered if I could get through your lovely list without laughing out loud. I couldn’t.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Funny you should mention Honus Wagners disease. Turns out it’s the same as ALS, but it was hidden in an old cigar box in the attic for 70 years and everyone forgot about it.

        • Msgr_Moment

          Honustly?

  • Blanche Beecham

    Nothing wrong with a blood test to roolz out cocaine and/or aderall or othedr debate performance drugs.

  • JVisconti

    I’m going with allergic reaction to the meds to keep his nose from growing with each Pinocchio.

  • Shibusa
  • DerrickWildcat

    Clinton should wear a mask and gloves for the next debate.

    • Deplorable Ron

      She’d totally rock a nice set of scrubs. Maybe Donnie would mistake her for Doctor Oz.

      • A LITtle Annoyed, Yet ARoused

        Well, scrubs are, in fact, like a casual pant suit.

  • Squirrel_Time

    They were not sniffles. Donald Trump does not have mucus in his corpulent body; he’s not some kind of creepy human.

  • rocktonsam

    could have been choking on something…

    • Nounverb911

      Bile?

    • beavertank

      Probably all that throat-cramming of regulation and gay marriage and whatnot.

  • Joe Beese

    Trump’s surrogates sought to frame the debate as a win for the Republican nominee, largely because he didn’t bring up Bill Clinton’s extramarital affairs, even though Trump alluded to them later in the evening.

    Kellyanne Conway, Trump’s campaign manager, said on Tuesday morning that “as a woman” she was impressed that Trump pulled back from bringing up the affairs after Clinton attacked him for a long history of misogynistic comments.

    “To tell Hillary Clinton after she accused him of being terrible with women, to tell Hillary Clinton ‘I was prepared to go rough tonight and I am not going to do it because your husband and daughter are here.’ That is going to grow in importance in the next couple of days in a moment of great temperance and restraint,” Conway told MSNBC’s “Morning Joe.”

    http://www.politico.com/story/2016/09/trump-blame-first-debate-performance-228775

    • Squirrel_Time

      Now Hillary can point out how each human is responsible for their own actions, even men who cheat on all their wives.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      So, he was a crass asshole by alluding to them, instead of being a crass asshole by actually mentioning them. Gotcha, Kellyanne, you ignorant slut.

    • elviouslyqueer

      So not being a reprehensible shitbag in front of a nationwide audience is a sign of “great temperance and restraint,” eh Kellyanne?

      She must be paid really really really well to believe half the bullshit she slings.

      • Deplorable Ron

        She will be. He promised.

        • beavertank

          The check’s in the mail, swearsies realsies.

          • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

            I pinkie swear!

            (Unfortunately, he wasn’t talking about his little finger, Kellyanne)

          • beavertank

            Butthole swears are sacred.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        The Donald, as always, was a paragon of propriety.

        In fact, I don’t think he even once called Hillary a fat, disgusting pig. Nor did he point out she is not a 10. Not even once!

      • wurman

        I’ve read, somewhere on the interwebz, and heard (my barber’s wife is a nail tech whose daughter manicures Ivanka) fact-based gossip that her paychecks bounce so Conway is working for nothing.

    • Spotts1701

      Is this before or after we applaud him for not murdering people?

    • beavertank

      It’s like doing charitable things. If you have to specifically point out that you’re great for doing or not doing something you’ve already lost the point.

    • Iron Monkey

      That is going to grow in importance in the next couple of days in a moment of great temperance and restraint.

      No it won’t.

    • tomamitai

      So staying married “for better or worse” is no longer something to be admired in conservative circles?

  • Vienna Woods

    OT but update on my mother. I visited her yesterday, spent 2 hours reading magazines on my tablet while she slept. She did get up for lunch so gave her a quick kiss while she ate her soup. All seemed good.
    Then, last night I got a call from the home. The little minx pulled the fire alarm and tried to sneak out when the firemen turned up and the door was left open. The nurse at least said they got some nice eye candy, but oh my goodness. The next while looks like it might be rocky.

    • Deplorable Ron

      Oh, dear… I do hope the home has gentle ways of preventing a repeat of this.

      • Vienna Woods

        Pretty sure they’ll be keeping a close eye on her the next while…

    • Lizzietish81

      Ah, reminds me of my mom working the 11-7 shift at the nursing home. Occasionally one of the patients would get loose, pull the alarm and then you would have a bunch of naked old people hanging around while the firemen, usually the newer ones came to reset it.

      Good times.

      • Vienna Woods

        I’m just surprised that she managed to figure it out, given how much she’s deteriorated in the past year.

        • Lizzietish81

          On 9/11 I got a phone call from a woman who tried to convince me that people were escaping England via the chunnel to get to Russia to get a secret smallpox vaccine. That involved getting away from a nurse, finding a newspaper and dialing the personal ads.

          Pulling a fire alarm is easy. Like I said, this was a common occurrence.

          • Vienna Woods

            Ah, conspiracy theories. She’s got many of those.

    • calliecallie

      Wow, your mom is smart and determined, isn’t she?

      • Vienna Woods

        She is a stubborn old broad. Sadly, just not one capable of taking care of herself.

        • calliecallie

          I didn’t just run into you this weekend in Cedarburg, WI, did I? Or is it just that there are a lot of aging moms out there who need looked after?

    • ViveLaDeplorables

      Wow, she’s got spunk!

      • Vienna Woods

        She always has. I’d have loved to have seen her in action.

        • OddMan

          My mom would sneak out after putting a rock in the fire exit door to keep it from locking. We never did figure out where she got the rocks.

    • Shibusa

      I worked for Honeywell, ages ago. It’s pretty common–especially in the memory care units. Sometimes the facilities install those plastic covers over the pull stations to discourage the oldsters from doing what your mom did. The plastic buzzes when it’s lifted…

      • Vienna Woods

        She’s pretty deaf now, and refuses to wear a hearing aid. The buzzer might not mean much to her.

    • Yr. Gma

      Bless her still-beating heart. I had an aunt in a similar situation who called 911 from her room and told them two crazed dentists were attacking her. (I don’t know why they gave her access to a phone, no.)

    • Redgyal

      Maybe she was going to knock on doors for Hillary. Does she know about Hillary?

  • Lucas Foxx

    He’s a mouth breather.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    It is to be hoped that Donald’s connection brings Bolivian Marching Powder into the country via supertanker, because he’s going to need it for the second and third debates.

  • JMP

    He just can’t help the constant lying, can he? It doesn’t matter that everybody just saw him sniffling last night, he’ll just deny what we all know to be true, because he’s apparently allergic to facts.

    • TeeRaak

      NPD.

  • SmokinGood
    • Agnes Featherbottom

      Up vote for Dr Rockzo.

      • tehbaddr

        DR. ROCKZO LIKES COCAINE!

  • Squirrel_Time

    Seinfeld would call Trump a snot rocker.

  • Lizzietish81

    He’s a New York Real Estate Mogul who made it big in the 80s.

    I’d be shocked if he WASN’T a coke head.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Too fat –speaking as a reformed cokehead.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Yeah, that’s the thing. He doesn’t even drink booze. As a control freak, he is absolutely terrified of losing control. Must have had a few bad episodes in his youth and got scared away. Could you even imagine the tweets and word-blaterings iff he got good and ripped?

      • Rob Ford. Mic drop

        • The Farce Side

          Been hearing a lot about Rob Ford from my terrified Canadian coworkers. If Toronto can elect that, anything is possible.

          • Redgyal

            GTBW=good to be white

          • Teresaamartinez

            Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !rk583f:
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !rk583f:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash583TopQuestGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!rk583f:….,……..

        • tomamitai

          Belushi & Farley.

        • Charles Wolf

          Snifflegate!

      • MynameisBlarney

        I’ve seen cokeheads that were very overweight.

      • TeeRaak

        I’ve seen obese methheads

    • msanthropesmr

      John Belushi.

  • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

    Being so far out of your league you couldn’t see your league with the Hubble telescope isn’t a disease, is it? Hmmmm..Must have been all the nervousness at his worst fear coming true. He cannot stand being laughed at, and today, he’s the biggest, brightest target for ridicule ever!

    • anna rampage

      I suppose he will do the honorable thing when he loses, like perform seppuku, because of how he hates losers…

      • Jonny On Maui

        Seppuku is only for those with honor. That leaves out trump…

      • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

        I like debaters who don’t fail utterly!

    • Cindyinencinitas

      Shouty Yam used the only tool in his quiver and it landed foul. Quelle horreur.

  • Iron Monkey

    He has a bad case of Intentional Cognitive Dissonance.

  • Joshua Norton

    Yeah, no. Trump’s mic wasn’t defective. However, the brain used to formulate the thoughts that came out of his mouth is.

    • kaydenpat

      Has Trump specified how the mic was “defective”? All it did was amplify his stupid words and snorts.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    My diagnosis is he has the pussy sniffles.

  • beavertank

    Maybe in preparation for this campaign he got botox in his tear ducts to avoid becoming a common Boehner with all the orange crying so now when he cries after getting his ass handed to him it just comes out as strong sniffing and teeth grinding.

  • blondeiq

    He had PUS coming out of his WHEREVER? Where’s the outrage?!

  • Brian
    • Msgr_Moment

      He IS a doctor, after all.

      • TeeRaak

        I trust Dr Dean more than Dr Drew. What a tool…

    • kaydenpat

      A Doctor speculates about Trump using coke on the internet. It must be true then.

  • DerrickWildcat

    Heroin will make your nose run. LOL, not sure if he was doing that. Unless he was speedballin’. That’s a possibility.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Cindyinencinitas

    He has butterscotch pudding in his head. He’s trying to keep it in. What he has left, anyway.

    • melina1222

      I used to like butterscotch pudding. Not any more.

  • limberrat

    Could Donald be taking coke? Amphetamines? Could he have a brain tumor? I dunno! I am just asking questions! But you have to wonder if he really is dying.

    • kaydenpat

      It would be improper not to speculate and it’s on the internet so it must be true.

  • kaydenpat

    I would say that he’s dying of shame but he doesn’t have any.

  • baconzgood

    Didn’t he use this “I had a bad mic” riff before?

    • beavertank

      “It translated all my great words into terrible racist diatribes, it was all the mic.”

    • tihond

      Couple of times with his wife in their spousal bed.

      • Candy Apple

        It was the sheets, they were scratchy. Just give him a half an hour.

    • Joe Beese

      Yeah, when he whiffed on denouncing the KKK.

      Poor guy has the worst luck with these things.

    • dslindc

      He brought the greatest hits back for the general because he was told people tend to get up and go get snacks or pee when you play the new stuff.

    • zerosumgame0005

      debate version of “my account was hacked and they sent all those text’s, not ME!”

    • ViveLaDeplorables

      Jan 2016 is a notable example, when he combined the broken mic conspiracy with his refusal to pay suppliers.

      http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/trump-angry-terrible-stupid-microphone-rally/story?id=36279072

    • Antonin Dvorak

      A throwback to his campaign in January:

      Trump added: “This mic is terrible. Stupid mic keeps popping. Do you hear that George? Don’t pay him! Don’t pay him. You know, I believe in paying, but when somebody does a bad job like this stupid mic, you shouldn’t pay the bastard. Terrible. Terrible. It’s true.”

    • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

      I’m assuming “Bad Mike” is his new nickname for his coke dealer that gave him that sub-par product.

  • CountryClubJihadi
  • kindness

    I think Trump is dying. He’s gotta be suffocating himself. I mean, even though he’s the biggest asshole I know (right now) how can one breathe when their head is so fully up their own ass 24/7?

    • beavertank

      Fun historical fact: That exact situation is why the scuba rebreather was invented.

  • tihond

    Trump is just a firm believer in the McGraw Code “Live Like You’re Dying.”

  • Joe Beese

    Donald Trump should skip the next two debates unless he gets special guarantees from the moderators, former New York mayor and top Trump adviser Rudy Giuliani told reporters after the debate.

    Lester Holt, the NBC News anchor who moderated the debate, should be “ashamed of himself,” Giuliani said after the debate. He said Holt was wrong to attempt to fact-check Trump on the constitutionality of stop-and-frisk and his claimed opposition to the Iraq War.

    “If I were Donald Trump I wouldn’t participate in another debate unless I was promised that the journalist would act like a journalist and not an incorrect, ignorant fact checker,” Giuliani said. “The moderator would have to promise that there would be a moderator and not a fact checker and in two particular cases an enormously ignorant, completely misinformed fact checker.”

    http://www.politico.com/story/2016/09/giuliani-trump-debates-228756?lo=ap_c1

    • Shibusa

      Well that didn’t take long. I’m amazed DT went to the first debate. He’s such a chickenshit–and he knows he’s WAY out of his depth.

      • The Farce Side

        This implies self awareness….

    • kaydenpat

      Waaaahhhh!! Where is the world’s tiniest violin when you need it?

      • Joe Beese

        Someone call a waaaaahmbulance!

    • Dee Andee

      Pussies.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Rudy is such a waste of skin.

    • h4rr4r

      You mean when he was totally correct that NYC’s implementation of stop and frisk was ruled unconstitutional, Rudy?

      • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

        Yes!! How enormously ignorant and completely misinformed can you get!?

        • eddi

          I bet we haven’t seen the bottom of that hole yet.

        • h4rr4r

          Well if you are 9iu11ani, it is not hard.

    • Jen B_VA

      How dare they not just let him lie!!!!!

      • OddMan

        Yeah, why is he so afraid of facts?

        • TeeRaak

          Located the Terrorist Command Center in the WTC, oops.

  • Shibusa
  • Pepper Jack

    What he needs is a balsam specific.

  • Me not sure

    I saw where someone referred to him as Snuffalumpatrump. I wish that I had thought of that. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2daa0cd2c9c10db9a7216b85c8409db0ad8687ccd781edabd1edfefd3459f398.jpg

  • elviouslyqueer
    • DinkyBossetti

      Unfortunately, it’s not as rare as I’d like it to be.

  • DainBramage
    • Pam is too awesome for Trump

      ETA: and would NOT share her stash

  • msanthropesmr

    This is what is sounds like when Trump cries is the worst prince song ever.

  • zerosumgame0005

    Yes, this is how to OWN a blowhard like No Taxes Trump

    https://www.facebook.com/OccupyDemocrats/videos/1252944911465227/

  • TeeRaak

    It’s easy to get the sniffles when you spent most of last night in the walk-in freezer chopping up body parts.
    https://media3.giphy.com/media/l2JdVgYib1ss4pod2/200w_d.gif

  • anna rampage

    I’m kind of wondering when Melenia is going to file for divorce? I mean how can she have any respect for an alpha male bully who took such a ass whipping from a mostly dead grandmother in a pant suit?

    • Callyson

      I’d bet the rent money she is already discreetly meeting with or in communication with a good divorce lawyer. Maybe she got a referral from Ivana or Marla!

      • Tony Alexander

        AOT,K

      • You know what this election cycle needs… Malaria gets caught in an affair with Mike Pence and then files for Divorce from Trump.

        • data_ninja

          If it would be an affair with someone, it would be from acknowledged swinger Roger Stone.

          • Yr. Gma

            Ew.

    • Iron Monkey

      As soon as she maxes the benefits of the pre-nup (a million a year for every year of marriage beginning after the first year with a maximum term of 10 for example). Then she will be a rich model–probably not a bad life.

      • Joe Beese

        She’ll have earned every penny.

        • Iron Monkey

          Yeah, being the current Mrs. Donald Trump must be a tough gig. Much better to be a former Mrs. Trump.

    • hendenburg2

      Her dad was basically a small-time Soviet-bloc Trump. So she probably won’t leave him.

    • Yr. Gma

      She’s going nowhere on her own. He’ll pitch her out when he finds a younger version of her. True story: I was in NYC on primary day. Our tour guide made joke: Trump isn’t in the city now. He voted and then flew to Europe to await the birth of his next wife.

  • Callyson

    I can’t decide if it would be a bad thing or a good think if Trump were to weasel out of the remaining debates. OTOH, it would take away Hillary’s chances to go after him (she left plenty on the table last night so she has a fuckton of more ammunition.) OTOH, this would be the lasting impression people have. So hard to decide…

    • DainBramage

      Being too chicken to debate again would make him look like the coward he is.

      • Jen B_VA

        That is what people said the last time he weaseled out and threw tantrums to get his way and whatever. And yet……

        • DainBramage

          True, but back then the only people paying attention (besides us political junkies) were Republican Primary voters. Different audience now.

          • Jen B_VA

            don’t get me wrong. I got money that he chickens out of the debates. Down Thread someone posted a Rudy message already laying the ground work for such.
            I just do not think it will affect him all that adversely.

          • DainBramage

            Well, hopefully his support is maxed out right now. He cannot win without getting new voters on his side.

          • data_ninja

            Who is he going to court next? Gary Johnson voters? Jill Stein?

          • data_ninja

            His personal audience loves to hear him talk trash about people, and loves it more when he talks trash directly to them (as in the republican primaries). They don’t like it as much when he can’t perform as well (*ahem*) in front of other people, and he slips back into the shadows until he’s all recovered from the butthurt. I really think that at some level they get weary of him complaining about unfairness and things being rigged. If he does it too often, he’ll lose his tough guy image.

            Keep in mind too, the time that he skipped the primary debate, he hosted a charity event. Seeing as how his personal charitable foundation is under quite the microscope right now, I’m not sure what he would try and do to fill the time. But I’m sure Roger Ailes will think of something.

    • data_ninja

      I think it would really depend if the media did their job or not. If he skips the debates, then he stays in his safe houses of Fox News and Breitbart. He’ll come up with all sorts of stories, complain of unfairness, and remain unchallenged. If the other media outlets finally decided to investigate (and reveal) things, such as the Trump Foundation, then he will show to be a coward who is hiding something. It seems like it would come down to ratings, and if enough news stories prop up about the investigations, then others will follow in suit (for the ratings). But it would also seem like getting them to debate again would bring up ratings, per TV and commercial revenue. In which case, maybe the news networks would give to his demands, such as hand picked moderators, to make that happen?

      I think it really could go either way. But if he sits out and the media does their job, then that should finish him off.

      • eddi

        The media has no control over debate arrangements this time. It is already set. Which means having had a taste of Clinton’s boot up his ass, Donnie is probably thinking very hard about dumping the last two debates.

  • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

    He was having his period, y’all. Everyone knows you cannot function at all and are a danger to yourselves and others when it’s THAT time of the month. Do we really want someone who has all those hormones flying around, making them crazy in charge of the red button?

    • Spotts1701
    • anna rampage

      It’s a well known fact that men do suffer from monthly manstruation moon times…

      • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

        Bu they are so tough and manly their hormones never, ever wipe out all ability to think rationally like the howling, screeching, emotional banshees we weak women become!

        • eddi

          Once a month for the ladies. 24/7 for the guys.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      He probably had mucus coming out of his wherever.

      Edited to add: and now I don’t want my lunch.

      • HooverVilles

        Wow! Good one. That really would have been good if Hillary had quickly snuck that phrase in when she was listing what “the Donald” said about women. “the Donald’s” head would have esssploded.

    • wurman

      Midol.

  • Candy Apple

    Pre-debate lines of blow off Melania’s tits, as I said last night.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      That certainly explains Melania’s attire.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Followed by rails off Ivanka’s ass.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Well…due to his severe irony deficiency, I think he’ll die of a massive goiter.

    *edit*

    I mean, “die of a friggin’ yuuuuge goitah!”.

  • Spotts1701

    A slight touch of monetary complications with bucolic semilunar contraptions of the flying trapezus!”

  • Señor Skwerl

    About those online poals:
    http://www.dailydot.com/layer8/trump-clinton-debate-online-polls-4chan-the-donald/

    4chan and Reddit bombarded debate polls to declare Trump the winner

    • Jen B_VA

      FLY monkies, FLY!!!!

    • anna rampage

      Great, so a bunch of 15 year old MRA assholes that live in their mom’s basements think Trump won….

      Big fucking deal….

    • limberrat

      Figured that polls were bombarded by Trumpanzees.

    • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

      Trump’s 400 lb hacker guy in his bed comes through!

  • beatbort

    In addition to rickets, Trump had another medical problem last night. His penis retracted so far inside his body by the end of the debate that it took Chris Crispy and Rudy Fan Tutti half an hour of fluffing to get it moving in the other direction far enough for Dr. Rand Paul to get his tweezers on it.
    I think I just made myself ill writing that….

    • DainBramage

      So, the sniffling was an attempt to re-inflate his wee wang?

  • Oneofthebobs

    Donald doesn’t drain pus; he absorbs it.

  • goonemeritus

    By googling all his symptoms the only diagnosis that makes sense is shaken baby syndrome. But before we jump to condemn his parents lets be honest and admit who among us haven’t wanted to shake Donald.

    • Señor Skwerl

      Let he who is without baby shake the first Trump.

      That’s me mofos!

  • Rags

    Side effects of Adderall are a perfect fit for his symptoms – except for the sniffles…

  • Jgb979

    I think he likely procrastinated studying for the debate because studying is SO BORING and what is he some kind of NERD? Then 7:00pm rolled around and he hadn’t cracked a book. He just figured “fuck it”, did a line a Coke, flipped through the PowerPoint Roger Ailes provided for him, and figured he’d just wing it.

    • eddi

      And winged himself as usually happens in these cases.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        He always misses the target.

        • Which makes him different from a constipated owl (who can hoot but can’t shit)

  • chascates

    I think his body is finally trying to reject his brain.

  • OneYieldRegular

    That is some microphone, to be able to take perfect, best answers and turn them into a non-stop stream of sniveling drivel.

    • Rufus T. Firefly

      It’s actually a Universal Derp Translator.

  • Panika MCD

    RT – Things Sniffles I’d Rather Talk About Than Donald Trump’s 9/27/16 #5:

    Christopher Robin’s, of course!

    http://xbw1.pds.org/groups/lamottepoetrymaking/wiki/44eb2/images/__thumbs__/91b09.jpg

    http://www.middletownschools.org/uploaded/Our_Schools/Elementary_Schools/Wesley/School_Nurse/sneezles3.jpg

    and, no, A. A. Milne was not a speechwriter for Sir Winston Churchill, but there is a rumor that Norman Shelley who did the very first voice of Pooh (Whinnie, not Vladimir) also too did some of Churchill’s radio addresses.

  • Relativicus

    “When Trumps Cry” was always my favorite Prince tune.

    • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

      Touch if you will my nostrils
      Feel how they tremble inside
      Once the cokesnots all dried up
      That’s when my campaign died

  • Ew. He had snot coming from his …wherever…

  • Vagennifer Flowers

    I am becoming such a David Fahrenthold fan. Trump may have used his foundation to avoid taxes on more than $2 million that we know of.

    • (((JustPixelz)))

      His spokes-bots say avoiding taxes is his patriotic duty so the money won’t be “squandered”.

      • Vagennifer Flowers

        Yeah, I really want him to keep saying that.

  • Vagenda 21 (Royal Ugly Dude)

    I read that as Snifflebitches. That’s a more apt nickname for Donnie, imho.

  • looksquirrels

    See, if I were allowed to comment, which this site doesn’t allow, I’d spread a rumor that the sniffles were from The Human Rectum’s crying jag before the debate. It is alleged that Melania and Ivanka had to give him the bum’s rush to get him onstage.

    • Oily Messiah

      He wouldn’t go on stage unless Ivanka gave him her *special hug.* Ewww… I have to go wash my hands.

    • Doug Langley

      I’ve heard that on the internet.

  • TundraGrifter

    Donald J. Chump – Snivler.

  • TeeRaak

    Why couldn’t Trump bring up Monica Lewinsky?

    I would love to hear Hillary talk about Trump cheating on his wife with Melanoma *
    https://media4.giphy.com/media/l2R0aIkYUXywiDMdO/200w_d.gif

    * = Has anyone checked Trump’s freezer lately?

  • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

    He’s got Inflammation of the Deplorables!

    • zerosumgame0005

      what was it John Oliver called him? America’s Biggest Hemorrhoid I think :)

  • Dude was sniffling like a regular Colombian Coke Lord.

  • weejee
  • Mavenmaven

    Tertiary syphillis. Soon his nose will fall off entirely.

    • eyelashviper

      Living up to his moniker….Donorrhea.

  • zerosumgame0005

    anyone else think the ONLY way the mic could have helped him was if it was turned off?

    • eddi

      It would have helped the people listening to his ravings even more.

      • AJ Milne

        I can confirm this. I was muting him sporadically; kinda busy that night, and, look, the guy’s crazy repetitive anyway; you don’t tend to miss much if you only listen about a quarter of the time he’s speaking…

        And I can absolutely report: in those brief, merciful periods of silence, I was at peace. Sure, there was a weird, sullen, gesticulating clown in a window of my laptop, but, hey, it was no more annoying than the average pop-up ad.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    “Chairborne” sounds like it could be the estate of the man I hope to marry if I were a Jane Austen heroine.

  • DainBramage

    The alien bugs that have infested his brain were trying to push half of it out, but instead of the ear, they tried the nose. They’ll figure it out.

    • Sister Artemis

      I hate it when they all just sort rip through the center of the chest…

      • Michael Loraine

        Oh come on, that’s the best part!

    • Nockular cavity

      Post-nasal drip is a recognized symptom of brain infestation by Ceti Alpha 5 bugs, by the way.

    • Remember that old Golden Age SF story “Three to Conquer”?

  • Rick Hill

    A steady diet of bile, hatred and condescension will do that to you.

  • proudgrampa

    Hillary was wearing a perfume that Donald had an allergic reaction to. That’s obvious.

    SHE DID IT ON PURPOSE. IT’S A CONSPIRACY, SHEEPLE!!11!!

    • JustDon’tSayBraggadocious

      That totally adds up! I need the name of that perfume. Is it “fu koff” by Dior? Or maybe Chanel “Chapter 11” – no wait, that’s Donny’s brand.

      • Incoming Ham

        Possibly “Évasion Fiscale” by Hermes.

        • MrCanoehead

          Eau No

    • HooverVilles

      Funny!!

    • feministing

      god damnit now this is what they are gonna say

      • JustDon’tSayBraggadocious

        In which case, MUST CREDIT WONKETTE!!!11!!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      It was Dopium by Yves Saint Yerass.

    • Stulexington

      Ya know, that would be awesome if true. Chemical warfare at the presidential debates!

  • Michael Loraine

    You know, many people say that habitual cocaine users are typically a lot thinner than Mr. Trump. I have no way of knowing about that myself, of course, but many people are saying that, some of the best…

    • zerosumgame0005

      does not always work that way, especially if you are a YOOOOUGE drinker too

      • WIDTAP

        I am thinking blow and weed. The munchies would explain the junk food habit, and bing a couple pounds short of obese on the overweight scale.

      • Jukesgrrl

        God forbid I should defend him for anything, but he’s well-known not to be a drinker. Diet sodas or some fast-food thing, but not alcohol. Other than champagne the many times he gets married.

    • theblackdog

      It didn’t work for Artie Lange, that’s for sure.

  • Trump DID tell Fox & Friends that it wasn’t a cold – so process of elimination.

    Can we surmise that Trump was not only born with a silver spoon in his mouth, but a silver spoon up his nose also too, probably.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    Trump sniffed the way Palin winked

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3tOB9UxuHA

    • Shoto

      Does that mean Rich Lowry will be going full “Little Starbursts” again?

  • Shoto

    OK, so that Sniffle Super-Cut was terrifying.

    On the other hand, Journalamism is not pretty.

  • Redgyal

    He was suffering from %%iManitis%%i. That’s the uncontrollable need to control a woman’s actions.

  • Flashman

    I am pretty sure Trump, if he did coke, would shove it up his ass.

  • Reximus

    Trickle down economics is what was running out of Donny’s nose

    • Bad Granny

      Post nasal economics!

  • Craig Gooding

    “I don’t want to believe in conspiracy theories, of course.”

    He should have used that line Monday night. It would have brought down the house.

  • Ranina

    This morning Trump’s driver was sent to Dr. Bornstein’s office to get a signed statement about his excellent health, but Mrs. Bornstein wouldn’t let him in.

    • phoenix00

      OR him and the good doctor were sharing some decidedly non-prescription drugs……..

  • Doug Langley

    Obviously, he’s allergic to Flowers.

  • Run2Live

    Hey Donnie, ever used a Neti pot?
    https://youtu.be/ofUvgRTOGVY

    • ahughes798

      Those things are disgusting!

    • blueeyedcuban

      Ancient Chinese secret

  • wurman

    On the edge of hyperventilation from adrenaline that hit his central nervous system upon realizing he was in so far over his head that he might possibly drown in a sea of self pity. He’s a sniveling sissy.

  • WIDTAP

    Now we know what Donnie did with that loan his daddy gave him in the 80s – he bought enough blow at Studio 54 to last him to 2030

    • Gentle Robot

      good investment

  • Kay Jay Day

    “There are medications that can cause the snot to pour out… These include some blood pressure medications, antipsychotics, antidepressants, hormonal contraceptives, prostate enlargement pills, and medicines used to treat erectile dysfunction.”

    • HooverVilles

      Hmmm, it would be wrong not to speculate which of these drugs he is using, wouldn’t it?

      • JustDon’tSayBraggadocious

        AOT,K?
        Too easy?

        • HooverVilles

          I know, but it was irresistible.

      • grageo

        Not if “many people are saying it” . . . .

      • Frank Underboob

        All of them, Katy.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Has anybody counted the sips of water he took? Cuz it was a lot. Almost like he was so stage struck that he pissed his pants and need to rehydrate.

    • Cotton mouth, another symptom of incorrect usage of beta blockers (and cocaine)

      • laineypc

        Also a symptom of diabetes- excessive thirst. Incoherent word salads come with really high blood sugar. Just saying.

        • wow. that makes so much sense.

  • HooverVilles

    There is obviously something major medically wrong with Trump. It seems like he should be admitted to emergency stat!

    What? I’m just saying what some people are saying. Nothing wrong with that. It works for FOX Newsians all the time. Amirite?

  • malsperanza

    Seven decades of undrained pus and bile will do that.

  • ez

    Tertiary stage of Sniffilis.

    • Me not sure

      By the third debate I expect his nose to be eaten away.

  • azeyote

    it was his mics fault – it was so small it made his hands look huge – maybe that’s why he drew attention to it – and to hide snorting that line of course –

  • mfp

    i know coked up and blazin, (youknow…from a friend) and last nite, donald trump was coked up and blazin…nonstop chin-boogie stupid talk, no self-restraint, constant water intake (although if he was anywhere near smart, it would have been vodka to help take the edge off), delusions of grandeur, no control of emotion or facial reactions…i could go on, but….

    it would explain a lot of things about DT…and it doesnt take sigmund F freud to figure this one out

  • theblackdog

    With WebMD it always leads to cancer.

    • jmk

      That’s why I have been forbidden from accessing it anymore.

  • fashionplate

    Too late. Where was the “Take a pee before you read this, so you don’t pee yourself laughing” disclaimer?? I’m awash in belly laugh endorphins. Great post.

  • Cut him some slack: he may be sick.
    I’m afraid the problem is that Trump may have believed he ‘nailed it,’ and that the next day’s headlines would confirm how great he did and show his staff how wrong they were.

    There’s something seriously wrong with this man, and I really believe that he should not only be pitied, but that he desperately needs some professional help – from anyone but Dr. Harold Bornstein… and that’s the main reason I’m not voting for him.

    His uncontrollable ego and delusions of grandeur are most often a symptom of schizophrenia, but can also be a symptom found in psychotic or bipolar disorders, as well as dementia (such as Alzheimer’s).

    Gene Grossman, author – http://www.LegalMystery.com

    • Hi-Energy Fist

      Pedant Man strikes again :Schizophrenia is classically conceived as a breakdown of the ego and a loss of protective boundaries between self and world (hence the voices not recognised as one’s own). I think you left out the one diagnosis that is most relevant: narcissism.

      • Hi-Energy Fist

        which, btw, is caused by poor ego formation, even though it manifests as extreme egoism.

      • oldwhitefemdem

        Simply, megalomania.

    • bardgal

      It’s Alzheimer’s all the way. His dad had it. My father died of it, my sister has it, and I’m terrified I’m next. Donny has all the symptoms, including repeating stuff, not remembering something he said an hour before, and the over-the-top angry bluster- which is to distract from his now mind-limited vocabulary and the fact he can’t remember shit like what the Nuclear Triad is – even if his handlers beat him over the head with it.

  • Msgr_Moment

    If the Trump is “Sniffle Britches”, then Chris Christie must be “Sniffing Britches”.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      I’d love for Trump to get his private investigators, the ones who had ‘explosive’ information on Obama’s birth certificate, to search for the last shred of Christie’s dignity. He’s really making an ass of himself.

      I wish he was up for re-election so I could watch him get pounded.

    • phoenix00

      Funny, I thought it was “hoovering Cheetos”

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    Lulz…Howard Dean claiming Trump is a coke addict:
    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/videos/a48981/howard-dean-trump-sniff-coke/

    He’s subtly mocking Trump’s henchmen’s use of rumors and innuendo. Damn, I love Howard Dean.

    • Mike Steele

      Me, too! That parody of Trump’s play book was sheer genius. “Now I can’t diagnose him off TV, but something is going on here…just sayin'”. Brilliant:)

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        Howard Dean ROCKS!!!!

  • Hi-Energy Fist

    Well this is the easiest riddle ever: being a dedicated environmentalist, he was attempting to recycle the methane produced by the continuous efflux of unadulterated bullshit flowing from his own cakehole.

  • Gentle Robot

    It’s not cocaine. Every fall, reptoids like Trump shed their lizard skin. It has various side effects, including sniffing, fatigue and influencing humans to betray their race for the measly reward of a future as foreman on a maggot farm.

  • 3FingerPete

    Enough! Stop calling it “the sniffles”. Sniffles and what Trump was doing are two completely different things.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJxs4nFiQN4

  • Mike Steele

    Time to go passive-aggressive. HRC’s opening line at next debate:”Good evening, Donald. Do hope you’re feeling better…”. Game, set, match.

    • HooverVilles

      ^^^^THIS^^^^

    • CripesAmighty

      (Offers hanky)

  • r_dale

    Trump debate prep: snorting lines of coke off Ivanka’s ass.

    • ryp

      You say that like it’s a bad thing.

    • WomanInAMood

      Eeeewwwww….

    • guppy06

      I bet her ass implants were designed with a ready-made shelf.

    • Frank Underboob

      To be fair, I’d be happy to snort coke off Ivanka’s ass.

  • Incoming Ham

    She’s…dying of laughter after Trump’s shit-show last night?

  • guppy06

    Donald Trump makes this face when he has a ‘faulty mic.’

    Don’t they make little blue pills for that?

  • guppy06

    We promise they make dick-wrappers in your size, even if you have to special order them.

    https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0188/7146/products/ESP0230–A_large.jpg

  • CripesAmighty

    ‘Trumpsnorting’ is now a Conan shtick. It’s over.

    • bardgal

      I’ve also overheard, “Don’t Trumperrupt me!”

  • 41Hertz

    nasal parasites, slowly burrowing into his brain… until he proves otherwise

  • crazymonkeylady

    Cocaine because why not just say it is, for shits and giggles!

  • MrCanoehead

    Can presidential debates include a mandatory urine test now?

    • doggiedaddy

      Well, the republican debates were basicly a pissing contest so….

  • mml1996

    OT: But very important!

    Denizens of CO, NV, MI, NY & MN – hear ye!

    http://m.dailykos.com/story/2016/9/27/1573180/-Crucial-battles-for-state-legislatures-are-underway-and-Democrats-could-pick-up-several-chambers

    Time to restore liberal control of state legislatures. PLEASE PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO YOUR STATE RACES AND VOTE! (NV & MI – YOU TWO ESPECIALLY).

  • blueeyedcuban

    His mike was so good it could pick up his breathing and sniffing, but very very bad, because it picked up what he was saying. Now I understand

  • JHan

    Snifflelopagus.

  • CatCope

    ‘Dying’ of the reality of a President Hillary R. Clinton.

  • JaxxonArgonaut

    Just a few weeks ago I read an article claiming he’s been on prescribed amphetamine-like ‘diet pills’ for a while now, and now people are saying he might’ve been taking cocaine…all very shocking, but that’s what I’m hearing people are saying.

    • lurch394

      Well, “but that’s what I’m hearing people are saying” constitutes proof on Fox.

    • Donnie Robertson

      JAXXON ARGONAUT HAS HEAD UP BUTTOCKS: ” Just a few weeks ago I read an article claiming he’s been on prescribed amphetamine-like ‘diet pills’ for a while now, and now people are saying he might’ve been taking cocaine…all very shocking, but that’s what I’m hearing people are saying.” <——- AND WE ALL KNOW HOW RELIABLE PUBLIC BS CAN BE WHEN IT COMES TO "DA DUDE MUST BE ON COKE"!" Heaven be that the RUMORS ARE RIDICULOUS and the VOICE OF THE SPOUSE CAN BE AS FULL OF CRAP AS A BEAN AND CHEESE BURRITO FART"!

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