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Looks like he picked the wrong week...
Looks like he picked the wrong week…

Just a quick de-clarification on Monday’s debate: You may have heard Donald Trump say that if he never paid taxes, that would mean he was smart, but he denies having said that, even though those may have been the words that seemed to come from his mouth. Probably a bad mic. Now, if you believe the lying video and transcript of the debate, it might seem like Trump bragged about not paying taxes, when Clinton raised the question of why Trump hasn’t released his tax returns:

Clinton: Or maybe he doesn’t want the American people, all of you watching tonight, to know that he’s paid nothing in federal taxes, because the only years that anybody’s ever seen were a couple of years when he had to turn them over to state authorities when he was trying to get a casino license, and they showed he didn’t pay any federal income tax.

Trump: That makes me smart.

Clinton: So if he’s paid zero, that means zero for troops, zero for vets, zero for schools or health. And I think probably he’s not all that enthusiastic about having the rest of our country see what the real reasons are, because it must be something really important, even terrible, that he’s trying to hide.

Shortly after, there was this exchange:

Clinton: And maybe because you haven’t paid any federal income tax for a lot of years. And the other thing I think is important …

Trump: It would be squandered, too, believe me.

Obviously, the patriotic thing, and the smart thing, is to not pay taxes, because government bad, starving the government good. Clearly, he’s a man of wealth and taste. Which sort of leaves you wondering why Trump would then go to the spin room and deny what a smart guy he was. Sort of — here’s the exchange with CNN’s Dana Bash:

Bash: It sounds like you admitted that you hadn’t paid federal taxes, and that that was smart. Is that what you meant to say?

Trump: No, I didn’t say that at all. If they say I didn’t, it doesn’t matter.”

He then went on to say he hates the way our government spends our taxes on foolishness like the Iraq and the South Africa, and such as. But no, he never said he doesn’t pay taxes. But if he did, he’d be a damn fool. Not that he avoids paying taxes. Which the government wastes anyway on things it shouldn’t spend money on. Like for instance why hasn’t the government bought any beautiful paintings of Donald Trump? That’s a good use of money.

The eyes seem to follow your wallet around the room
The eyes seem to follow your wallet around the room

Clinton’s campaign was quick to post a tweet with the exchange, explaining that not paying your taxes doesn’t mean you’re smart. It means you’re cheating:

That was pretty smart of them.

[WaPo / Fast Company]

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  • sweeper

    Wealth and taste, I see you, dok.

    • ez

      well, please allow me to introduce myself…

      • Barley_Brains

        …pleased to meet you…

  • Maybe Trump has Memento-disease and can’t make any new short term memories so he forgets everything he’s said three minutes after saying it?

    • anna rampage

      My mom had that, the docs diagnosed it as Alzheimers…

    • Creepoman
    • mailman27

      He’s moving backwards through time and he hasn’t said it yet.

      • Astraea

        So that’s why his answer for solving existing problems is that they should have been prevented in the first place.

        • James Christopher Owen

          See? It really IS all just a matter of perspective.

    • Deplorable Ron

      Either that or he’s a goldfish, which would also explain his colour.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    OT: I need to rant but undecided voters have got to be the most tedious motherfuckers on the planet. After last night, how can you not see the difference between the two candidates. If you cannot, you were not listening!!! Oh, and fuck you.

    • Jamoche

      They’re getting their opinions from a Magic 8 Ball.

      • Deplorable Ron

        Nah, even the magic 8-balls are answering, ‘Vote for Hillary, duh.’

    • Lascauxcaveman

      It’s the old “If-you’re-not-outraged-then-you-haven’t-been-paying-attention” thing. They haven’t been paying attention.

    • SmokinGood

      Undecided voters listen to politics like I listen to hollywood gossip. I mean, I can’t even decide if I’m gonna vote for Bran or ‘Jelina on Divorcing with the Stars.

    • OneYieldRegular

      I overheard a grad student this morning saying how impressed she was by Trump’s performance, how professional he seemed, and then in the next moment, next topic, talking about how much she hated teaching, and I thought, damn, if your expectations are so low that you think Trump did a good job last night, it’s almost certainly for the best that you stay far away from teaching.

      • Deplorable Ron

        Or, indeed, expressing any thoughts at all.

  • DainBramage

    So, can I get back all those federal income taxes that I paid during Reagan and Bush years? Those guys were master squanderers.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    “Who are you going to believe? Me an hour ago, or me right now?”

    • msanthropesmr

      NOT, K

  • MynameisBlarney

    And then, there is THIS!

    Get a load of their mugs as he doubles down on the body-shaming.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihO5KootGjY

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I’ve seen her both then and now, and she’s not ugly, and she’s not fat.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Agreed! In fact, I find her to be quite attractive now.

      • HanBarbara

        Let’s just say he was correct about the numbers on the scale. A weight of 117 lbs would be a very low BMI for a 5’7″ woman, bordering on under weight (granted BMI isn’t perfect). 160 lbs would be at the very high end of BMI. It would not be considered “fat” unless you are a douche nozzle in the fashion design business, or Donald Trump. By the way, at 6′ and 240 lbs, his BMI is definitely in the overweight category.

    • DainBramage

      TweedleDil and TweedleDo look somber, like at a funeral.

    • jesuswasablack

      Who fuckin watches that show? Blonde spokesmodel between two potted plants for three hours?
      http://cdn.newsbusters.org/images/Fox&Friends612.jpg

      • MynameisBlarney

        Between two Derps?

      • svejk

        olds. lamers. scareds.

    • malsperanza

      The way their faces just go dead…

  • Bitter Scribe

    Sure, Donald, harp on Bill Clinton’s infidelities. That’ll never make people sympathize with his wife.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      We could mention that little episode with Marla while you were still married to Ivana, you know.

      • Aquaria

        Or the episodes with Melania while he was still with Marla.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          This just proves he has a really good transition team. So presidential, really, the best.

      • James Christopher Owen

        That’s just how Trump rolls.

    • spends2much

      Hillary’s response: “Ah, yes, marital infidelity. NOW we are talking about a subject you know a lot about, Donald!”

      • Villago Delenda Est

        WIN!

  • NorthStarSpanx

    Yeah, but Brit Hume’s take-away was that Hillary’s appearance didn’t make any starbursts appear in his living room. Rich Lowery must be sad.

  • ManchuCandidate

    City boys just seem to find out early
    How to stop paying taxes with just a smile
    A “rich” old man who just won’t have to worry
    He’ll dress up all in Brooks Bros and go in style

    Late at night a yoooge old house gets bigley
    I guess every form of tax refuge has its price
    And it breaks his heart to think his “taxes” are only
    Given to folks who won’t make that kind of ice

    So he tells them he must go out for the evening
    To do charity for soldiers who are feelin’ down
    But the IRS knows where he’s goin’ as he’s leavin’
    He is headed for the evadn’ side of town

    You can’t hide your lyin’ eyes
    And your tan is a thin disguise
    I thought by now you’d realize
    There ain’t no way to hide your lyin’ eyes

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Apologies to Glenn Frye, may he rest in peace.

  • chascates

    Deadbeat Donald.

  • JMP

    Does Donald Trump not know that video exists, and that we can actually remember things that happened an hour or two ago?

    • AngryKatie

      I don’t think he knows he’s lying.

      I think whatever statement is going to serve him best at any given time is the “truth” for him for right then. If circumstances change, the “truth” will too.

      • HanBarbara

        Sadly, I’ve had the misfortune to deal with people like that- confront them with a lie, and they just repeat the lie more loudly.

      • aureolaborealis

        I believe this, too. I have known one complete sociopathic pathological liar in my life, and Trump’s behavior reminds me of her. But pathological liars must always limit the people involved in particular conversations to make sure that reality cross-checks don’t happen. This Trump implosion is what it looks like when you elevate someone like that into a global conversation.

        • AngryKatie

          Exactly. I had a boss similar to this.

          God forbid someone openly contradicted him. Such a slight would land them permanently on the enemies list, and everyone else would spend days walking on eggshells.

          • Deplorable Ron

            Moi aussi. Fucker strung everybody along, making all sorts of promises, then looted every bank account and skipped town, one step ahead of Revenue Canada. He still owes me $4500.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      I think he doesn’t know what he just said. Words just fall out of his mouth.

  • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

    All you Trump voting fools, take a moment and absorb this. You call single mothers takers, even when they work 3 jobs. You call any woman with a job a taker, because she took a job from a more deserving white man. You call immigrants takers for having a job they “stole” from a more deserving white person, but would still call them takers if they didn’t work. You call everyone not white takers. Has any group ever been painted as takers more than black women? Everyone is a taker that isn’t you, right?

    This man is a taker. He contributes NOTHING yet feels entitled to EVERYTHING, and takes it any chance he gets. That is a taker!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      He…and his children…are parasites.

      • Deplorable Ron

        Without a parasite’s basic honesty of purpose.

    • Spotts1701

      “I’m rich! GIMME GIMME GIMME!” – Donald Trump

    • anna rampage

      But he’s fabulously wealthy so the rules don’t apply to him in their minds…

      “Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires.”

    • FauxAntocles

      It’s the fascist point of view – the scapegoats are stealing my ill-gotten gains!! I.e., stealing is ok as long as I’m stealing from you.

    • elviouslyqueer

      But, but, but… ANGER!!!!!!1111!!!!!1!1!!!!!!!111!!!!

    • BearGHAZI

      Are you going to throw a party when you get 50k upvotes? Cuz we think you should

      • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

        Holy Mullet! I’m close, aren’t I? If I have to organize a party on such short notice, I better call out the rest of the week!

        • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

          I’ll bring a cheese plate!

          • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

            I knew I could count on you. And you won’t be mad when I lock myself in my room with it, and you hear all kinds of moaning?

          • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

            It’s your party :-)

          • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

            And I’ll lock myself in my room and eat all the cheese if I want to!

          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            Only in America! Plates made out of cheese! What will they think of next?

    • OneYieldRegular

      “…And in conclusion, he’s even taken you – for SUCKERS.”

  • memzilla

    Has anyone noticed that Editrix said Dok was out with pneumonia on Sunday, and less than 24 hours later on Monday, Drumpf was snufflin’ all the way through the debate? And now Dok’s back today, seemingly fine? Show us the long-form airline ticket to LGA, Dok!!1!!

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Well, paying federal taxes certainly makes me fart.

    No wait, that’s refried beans. Never mind.

    • Jamoche

      OK, now I am calling them “retired beans”. It describes how I feel about them.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Sorry, I re-corrected the autocorrect while you were typing.

        You’d think “refried beans” would be a common enough phrase that Safari’s stupid autocorrect would leave it stand, but no. Donald’s not the only one who hates Messicans, apparently :(

  • Spotts1701

    If he keeps spinning, he’s gonna bore a hole right to his Bangladesh sweatshop.

  • Vagenda 21 (Royal Ugly Dude)

    Glad to see Dok is well and back typing things on the interwebs, and hasn’t succumbed to the snifflebitches.

  • jesuswasablack

    “Like for instance why hasn’t the government bought any beautiful paintings of Donald Trump? ”

    Did you mention paintings of Donald Trump?

    http://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/scalefit_630_noupscale/56bcb8491a00002d00ab2770.jpeg

  • baconzgood

    So the eleventy million people that saw the debate are all lying? Interesting way to go about denial.

  • I’ve got to wonder what happens to this guy after he loses? I mean how could anyone still sign contracts or agree to do business with this man after this campaign? You can’t trust him to remember what he said or promised an hour ago.

    • Spotts1701

      He’ll just move into common grifting – hence his “Trump TV” concept…

  • goonemeritus

    The mere fact that Democrat Party refused to nominate an incoherent megalomaniac shows that the system is rigged. You wouldn’t ask a 9 year old boy to box the heavyweight champion. We should make Hillary down 9 or 10 shots of bourbon to even things up.

    • AngryKatie

      I like to think drunk Hillary would spend the entire debate alternating between laughing, and pointing and laughing.

      • Lulu Mac

        And she would still be imminently more coherent…

        • James Christopher Owen

          ..than Mr. Snuffleupagus? Yes. Yes, she would.

          • Lulu Mac

            I think you mean Sniffletrumpagus…

      • Oily Messiah

        Sounds more High-llary

      • goonemeritus

        I would guess that is how stoned Hillary would debate, I think drunk Hillary would probably break a bottle and carve Trump a new smirk.

        • malsperanza

          It would be an improvement. His smirk makes Gollum look like a nice young man.

    • Suttree

      It wouldn’t change much except for instead of smiling and side-eye it would be belly laughing and finger pointing.

    • Reddishrabbit

      She drank McCain underthe table, so I think a few shots will be child play for hee

  • Aquaria

    Welcome to dealing with my father. He did this crap all the time. Whatever was convenient for him in the moment, whatever he thought would make him look good in the moment, he said it. If you challenged him on it later, he swore he never said it, and you were the liar, how dare you!

    Do y’all really want to be scared?

    He worked in military intelligence.

    • Spotts1701

      Well, that explains a lot.

    • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

      Common behaviour among authoritarians, especially in the military. Read about General Paul Harkins in Vietnam sometimes.

      • Aquaria

        I wouldn’t doubt it if my father served with him in Vietnam.

        • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

          Harkins commanded MACV – Military Assistance Command, Vietnam – from 1962 to ’64. So if your father was there during that time frame, he served under him. And Harkins was famous for rejecting Intel reports that didn’t support his sunny view of the situation, no matter what the facts were, so…

          A bit of Harkins doggerel that was commonly quoted among war correspondents:

          We are winning, this I know, General Harkins tells me so.
          In the mountains, things are rough,
          In the Delta, mighty tough,
          But the V.C. will soon go, General Harkins tells me so.

          • malsperanza

            That description fits nearly all the senior military in Vietnam.

            Of course, it was also a low point for military intelligence, what with the faked kill ratios and the interrogating prisoners by pushing them out of planes, and the calling every Vietnamese hamlet a hotbed of Viet Cong activity right after the residents had all been accidentally slaughtered.

    • Spotts1701

      On reflection, my first reply seemed mean. I have adjusted it. Sorry.

      • Aquaria

        It wasn’t. He was a horrible person, and the military has a lot to answer for, having that scumbag serving with them at such a time.

    • svejk

      military music is to music as military justice is to justice. and that goes double for military intelligence.

      • OneYieldRegular

        Thanks, Good Soldier!

      • YoBunnyBunny

        John Philip Sousa libelz damn it!!!! …And Ralph Vaughan Williams “English Folk Song Suite” libelz, which is certifiably badass

      • Mehmeisterjr

        I know that formulation has been around for a long time but I’m not sure I agree with any of it.

        For starters, I am not ready throw out Sousa, F. J. Ricketts and Julius Fučík, to name a few composers who wrote military music. The American service bands are staffed, to this day, with exceptional musicians.

        I may be a tiny bit prejudiced because I took lessons from a musician in one of Sousa’s later (OK, civilian) bands and he was an amazing, dazzling musician.

        I spent a little time filling in at a JAG office and I thought they were a lot more honest, conscientious and diligent than many civilian D.A.’s I have come across.

        As for military intelligence, it depends. Sometimes they are very bad. Yet the Bletchley Park decoders gave excellent intelligence. Assorted civilian and military intelligence professionals tried to warn W. Bush and Rumsfeld that they were kissing too many Saudi Princes on the lips.

        It is hardly a knock on military intelligence that such numbnuts as Rumsfeld and Dubya ignored them.

  • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

    Will there be another debate? Sure hope so!

    https://youtu.be/llC4Cy6ftzk

  • TundraGrifter

    For some reason, Chump started bragging about his club in Palm Beach. That would have been a great time for Sec. Clinton to say “It would be an even better club if you hired American workers there.”

  • AngryKatie

    He also said he’s been under audit more, or less, forever. That’s just the normal state of affairs between Trump and the IRS.

    That’s not normal. That means the IRS thinks you’re cheating ALL THE TIME.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      So this thing that happens always and forever, as soon as it’s over, he’ll release his taxes? Let’s all mark our calendars in advance so we can be prepared.

      • AngryKatie

        I guess I need a new calendar.
        I can’t find “never sucker” in mine.

        • bupkus23

          That was removed when we switched over to the Gregorian calendar…

          • Deplorable Ron

            Pope Gregory XIII never released his taxes either.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            Still under review? Damn, the backlog is getting worse and worse.

  • Joe Beese

    Learned Hand:

    Any one may so arrange his affairs that his taxes shall be as low as possible; he is not bound to choose that pattern which will best pay the Treasury; there is not even a patriotic duty to increase one’s taxes.

    Helvering v. Gregory, 69 F.2d 809, 810-11 (2d Cir. 1934).

    There is a clear legal difference between tax avoidance – which is what he is doing here – and tax evasion – and I’m sure she knows it.

    I think it especially important that she not muddle the distinction now because he really is committing tax evasion with the Trump charity shenanigans – and it may be a very potent weapon for her in the next debate, in the unlikely event that he has the huevos to show up.

    • FauxAntocles

      It’s not clear whether he’s avoiding or evading – but a “billionaire” paying no taxes certainly seems suspect.

      • Joe Beese

        It’s certainly not “smart” optics for a guy running for President on a populist platform.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Yet his base eats it up.

          • Astraea

            Yeah, because they don’t give a fuck about the economy as a whole. They’re interested in maintaining their class privilege as white men who feel entitled to do as they please without criticism.

          • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

            I was going to say: “But they’re idiots”. You put it far more accurately and eloquently.

          • bupkus23

            And they’re probably wishing they could evade their own miserable tax liability, too – Daddy needs a new SUV!

      • h4rr4r

        Yearly audits, you think those are common?

    • jowgajen

      There are provisions in tax code that are incentives for rich people to invest their money in the economy rather than hoard it. And then there are provisions in the tax code that are simply pork barrel politics. And then there are tax strategies that are “creative” and not exactly within the intent of the code. And then there are flat lies and fabrications. Which of these things are in the Donald’s tax returns remain to be seen as he hasn’t shared them. He claims to be audited every year for 15 years — that’s either a fabrication or an admission that the IRS sees him as worthy of extra scrutiny.

      • HanBarbara

        A good tax person (that a middle class person might use) can tell you deductions that are acceptable (for example, business expenses), and where you would be pushing the envelope and inviting scrutiny.
        If you have enough dough to pay tax attorneys, you can push that envelope considerably farther.

        • Deplorable Ron

          I suspect his aren’t all that good. He probably went with the lowest bidder.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            And stiffed him.

    • Lulu Mac

      I never thought I would heard the name Learned Hand after law school…thanks for taking me down memory lane…

    • bupkus23

      Gawd, that gives me a not-from-acid flashback. I used to participate in a forum where one of the posters fancied himself a financial genius ( he claimed at various times to be a currency arbitrager for a fossil fuel company ), who was so blatantly wingnutty * he used to extol GWB’s job creation prowess – but only by cherry-picking a couple of years out of 8.

      He was always going on about tax avoidance .vs. tax evasion – definitely gave me the impression that he probably walked that line ( mostly on the wrong side of it ) all the time….

      [ Always wondered why such a “success” would bother spending so much time on an Internet forum, but… ]

      • Deplorable Ron

        Like the ‘cops’ and ‘combat vets’ who seem to have nothing better to do with their time than hang out on mall ninja forums.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      This was why Learned Hand didn’t make it to SCOTUS. We did not desperately need a smarter, younger, more cunning and less obvious version McReynolds.

  • lucidamente

    This morning, from ABC News:

    “I think Donald Trump had a great night,” [Mike Pence] said on “Good Morning America,” adding that Trump “took command of the stage and I think the American people saw his leadership qualities.”

    Oh, we saw those qualities, all right.

    (I thought Pence was from the state of Indiana, not the state of Are You Fucking Kidding Me.)

    • Oily Messiah

      Yea, he’s got this leadership ability to talk over women and then take their ideas as his own. How do you even do that in a debate?

    • Aquaria

      Yeah, they saw that his leadership qualities were those of a sleaze and a fraud.

    • DainBramage

      I saw a con artist in way, way over his head.

    • Spotts1701

      He “took command” in the same way those Insane Admirals in Star Trek would try to relieve the captain only to find none of the crew would obey their orders.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Mike isn’t exactly the sharpest spork in the drawer, you know.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Spork was my favorite Star Trek character.

      • bupkus23

        I know this is too soon, but I think I am now anticipating the vice-presidential debate more than the second presidential one. So many people “dismiss” Tim Kaine as some kid’s goofy dad, but I get the feeling he’ll make Pence look as much of a dunce as Rump.

        • James Christopher Owen

          I want to see Tim start chatting up Pence in Spanish.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Tim could do this just by showing up and smiling at Pence.

  • BearGHAZI
    • kaydenpat

      But Deplorables don’t feel bad about voting for a Bigot because they’re bigots.

  • TundraGrifter

    Half an hour before Wonkette posted this I commented Chump picked a bad week to stop sniffing glue.

    Does that mean I’m qualified to write for Wonkette? Other than donating thousands of clever comments, of course…

  • Relativicus

    More media bias. I know Trump is smart because if he wasn’t smart, he’d sound like an idiot going on about how smart he is all the time. And he’s definitely not an idiot because he’s always saying how smart he is, which only an idiot would do if he wasn’t really smart. And Trump’s no idiot. Just ask him.

    • Spotts1701

      Is this one of those “good is bad, bad is good” things that will leave the more clueless among us wandering for half an hour or so?

    • beatbort

      Wow, my head hurts, probably from how smart Trump is.

  • beatbort

    I am hoping that all the women married to loud and vocal Trump supporters will be catching the familiarity of the vibe ole DT was putting out last night–talking over Hillary, interrupting her, shouting, jabbing with his finger, lying, etc. Then, on election day, partly to stick it to the asshole they’re married to, they vote for Hillary.
    That’s probably an outdated scenario but, sadly, I know a lot of households where that sort of thing goes on (“ssssshhhh, don’t tell your father…it’ll just get him riled up…”).

    • Aquaria

      Heck, you don’t have to be married to get treated like that. You just have to be part of the XX club. I’ve been talked over since I was a young woman, because men’s first impression of me, oddly, is of a sweet little marshmallow, probably because I’ve tended to be a soft-spoken introvert until I warm up to people. But once I expressed myself (especially in disagreement) with any man, I got the shouting, jabbing fingers, lying and worse.

      • Spotts1701

        And then you rip out their spine and mount it on the wall, right? Right?

        • Aquaria

          Depended on the situation. Sometimes, I’d tell them that I’d appreciate it if they wouldn’t act like I was a potted plant, but a human being.

          Sometimes I’d merely tell them, you wouldn’t be talking over me and yelling if you knew I wasn’t right.

          And then I’d watch their heads explode.

      • HanBarbara

        Being called a “smart bitch” contributed bigly to my decision to get a divorce. Looking back, I should have taken it as a complement.

      • kaydenpat

        True. Lots of women have been talked over by pushy men. Sadly, it’s all too common even in our more enlightened age.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        THAT’S A LIE! I NEVER INTERRUPTED YOU!!! AND I’M NOT DOING SO NOW. SHUT UP!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “It would be so easy for my to prove I’m a law-abiding tax payer if I just released my returns like every other candidate. I wonder why I don’t do that.”
    — Donald Trump

    More seriously, why isn’t the failure of Trump to comply with this well-established norm the story of the campaign? (Also too, medical records). Our goddam POS media, that’s why.

    • malsperanza

      I keep waiting for him to release his policies, plans, and programs. Failure to do that is surely THE story of the campaign?

  • calliecallie

    The Illuminati are convening at this moment to decide how to discipline Trump for revealing their secret of not paying taxes.

    • DainBramage

      The secret has always been to have squads of accountants and lawyers and a desire to bend the rules to the point of breakage, or further.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        You gotta spend make to “make” money (at the expense of your own country).

        Only rich people have figured this out, for some reason.

        • Aquaria

          The problem with Trump is that he likely has nothing to spend. His “businesses” of late all seem to be desperate attempts to get his hands on liquid assets at any cost.

          Billionaires aren’t desperate for liquid assets. Only people who are in debt up to their eyeballs and living far beyond their means are desperate for cash.

          • Deplorable Ron

            It’s been mentioned more than once that his only ‘business’ these days is selling his name. I imagine his tangible assets are either leveraged to the hilt or not actually his any longer.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I’m not sure what the one weird trick is, but I’m pretty sure tax accountants hate it and the government doesn’t want you to know about it.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Two words: “I forgot”.

      “Your honor, I forgot not paying taxes was a crime!”

      • aureolaborealis

        First: getamilliondollars

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Well, he did that and, well, hookers and blow are expensive, man.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Donnie, “smart” people do not use nonexistent words like “bigly” and “embiggen” unironically. Or at all.

    • dslindc

      Donald has words. The best words. Just tremendous and repetitive. SAD!

    • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

      That’s a cromulent point.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I don’t actually really think he said he didn’t pay taxes, but I guess people can disagree on the implications of his off-the-cuff remarks. You know what would bring us all together in agreement, like a Coke ad from the 70s? If he released his taxes.

    • h4rr4r

      If you get audited every year, you are doing something suspicious.

      • elviouslyqueer

        My thing is, every single tax expert who’s been asked about this says that there’s nothing holding Trump back from releasing tax returns. And yes, that “nothing” includes being audited.

        • h4rr4r

          Yes of course.
          However to actually get audited every year, means they expect to find something.

        • bupkus23

          Those “every single tax experts” includes the IRS Commissioner – but who would expect him to know the rules…

          Hell, he won’t even release the IRS audit notice ( which wouldn’t contain any financial information, but it might show that Rump IS actually being audited, and for which years )

      • chazmanr

        Unless you are a waiter or any other job where you are paid largely in cash.

        • h4rr4r

          I am sure waiters in 1980 had that problem. Here in 2016, most folks tip with electronic means.

      • malsperanza

        Businesses get a routine audit every year. But I have a feeling this IRS thing is more in the nature of a bit of RICO, what with Turnip being heavily mobbed up with the Russian Mafia.

        • h4rr4r

          Businesses do their own audits. The IRS does not tend to stop by. At least never any place I ever worked.

  • Brian

    OT: turns out Sean Hannity doesn’t want people calling him.

    https://twitter.com/ringer/status/780632599500763136

    • Callyson
    • Suttree

      I hope every journalist on earth calls him non-stop until election day.

      • Oily Messiah

        Especially during his show

    • kaydenpat

      Someone should prank Hannity by pretending to be one of the Koch Brothers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBnSv3a6Nh4

    • Joe Beese

      It’s hard to find quality toadies these days.

      • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

        “I have quality toadies! The best! I have the BEST toadies! Rudy Guiliani – no one talks 9/11 like Rudy! No one! Newt Gingrich…the man’s crazy, I love him! An attack dog! A rabid yorkie with mange, that’s Newt! And Chris Christie – an animal, I’m telling you! You would not BELIEVE what Chris will do for a bag of Oreos. In fact…hey Chris, c’mere.”

        *Christie rushes up, sweating*

        “Yes Mr. Trump?”

        “Chris, these people are saying you’re not a good toadie. Are you gonna let them get away with that?”

        “No SIR!” *Christie drops to his knees and unzips Trump’s pants*

        “There, see! He’ll spend HOURS trying to find my dick in there! THAT’S a toadie! Tremendous!”

  • Gayer Than Thou

    So, that “painting.” Isn’t that just like a cellphone picture that someone ran through too many Instagram filters and then blew up? How did that artist get twenty grand for that? Or is the “artist” one of his kids?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      It’s a deconstruction of man’s relationship to technology, and how the precision of the digital future has circled back to emulate the methods of the analog past, and also a commentary on how lazy artists can take advantage of art buyers with big egos and no taste.

      • hendenburg2

        “Some people have made the mistake of seeing Shunt’s work as a load of rubbish about railway timetables, but clever people like me, who talk loudly in restaurants, see this as a deliberate ambiguity, a plea for understanding in a mechanized world. The points are frozen, the beast is dead. What is the difference? What indeed is the point? The point is frozen, the beast is late out of Paddington. The point is taken. If La Fontaine’s elk would spurn Tom Jones the engine must be our head, the dining car our esophagus, the guard’s van our left lung, the cattle truck our shins, the first-class compartment the piece of skin at the nape of the neck and the level crossing an electric elk called Simon. The clarity is devastating. But where is the ambiguity? It’s over there in a box. Shunt is saying the 8:15 from Gillingham when in reality he means the 8:13 from Gillingham. The train is the same only the time is altered. Ecce homo, ergo elk. La Fontaine knew his sister and knew her bloody well. The point is taken, the beast is moulting, the fluff gets up your nose. The illusion is complete; it is reality, the reality is illusion and the ambiguity is the only truth. But is the truth, as Hitchcock observes, in the box? No there isn’t room, the ambiguity has put on weight. The point is taken, the elk is dead, the beast stops at Swindon, Chabrol stops at nothing, I’m having treatment and La Fontaine can get knotted.”

  • James Christopher Owen

    That picture…fuck…it was so beautiful…I wept…

  • Callyson

    Since I can’t get enough, got more fun for us, WaPo linky

    Trump says he may hit ‘harder’ in next debate; Clinton tells reporters she had a ‘great, great time.’

    The former secretary of state declined to respond to Trump’s suggestion that he might go after her husband’s personal life.

    “He can run his campaign however he chooses,” Clinton said. “I will continue to talk about what I want to do for the American people.”

    Later, to her aides in private, she added:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d11a62ed31babd722c64ad2517158a64c4acfae7eca8988d0fdc2d7f2be983c6.jpg

    • Oily Messiah

      She should go up to Trump next time, flex her knowledge, get up in his face and yell: Do you even debate prep bro!

      • Joe Beese

        “I got some BI-partisanship for ya!” [hits front double biceps pose]

    • Lulu Mac
    • kaydenpat

      Trump is known for philandering and multiple marriages. How the hell is he going to come at Mrs. Clinton who is on her first marriage and has never been accused of cheating?

      Trump must think that everyone’s using that cocaine he sniffed before the debate.

      • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

        That tired old Blame The Wife for The Failures of The Husband bull? Sad. Pathetic. Played out. Lame. Flaccid. Impotent. Boring.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        His spokesmorans certainly seem to be.

        • TeeRaak

          The day the coke runs out, so do they

          • Mehmeisterjr

            ♫ The night the Donald’s cocaine stash ran out, and the bells were ringing
            The night the Donald’s cocaine stash ran out and the people were singin’ they went
            Sniff, sniff, sniffy, sniffy, sniff, sniff, honk, honk, sniff, sniffy sniffy sniff sniff. ♫

    • RobKanC

      Oh I can’t wait for the savage beat down he will receive when he talks about Bill. I am sure Clinton will rip him a new one and he will start whining about all the mean ads she ran of him.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        All the mean ads that are Donald speaking in his own words. Hillary is so mean to do that. Mean, mean, mean.

        • RobKanC

          Yeah. Why does she have to shine a light on what he is saying. Makes him look like a awful human being and he probably hates himself for that.

        • eddi

          Nothing Trump says is intended for the general public. Only his followers. The rest of the world will vote for him because he’s such a stud.

        • JoeChristmas

          After the debate last night, there was a Trump PAC add comparing Hillz to Nixon, and I saw it on MSNBC.
          Trump is more messed up than his tax returns.

          • malsperanza

            I saw that. It compared Clinton to Nixon by noting that she has been “accused of” wrongdoing. Last time I looked, Nixon was actually found guilty by a big-ass Senate committee. With evidence and a resignation and everything.

            The GOP has been playing versions of this narrative for 50 years: hoping to throw a Senate committee at a Dem president because they are all about the revenge. And cannot really grasp that Nixon was a crook. Just as they can’t admit Turnip is a crook. They’ve been trying to Nixonize the Clintons for decades.

            But at least this means they finally acknowledge that Nixon was a fucking criminal.

  • Suttree

    Well damn us and our lying ears for hearing it and eyes for reading it.

  • baconzgood

    Was it just me or did the Don look like his head was going to explode in rage the whole debate.

    • Oily Messiah

      I didn’t know people’s faces turned those colors

    • Callyson

      He was glaring at Hillary the whole time. Not just you.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Ana Marie Cox called it “Resting Dictator Face”

    • Astraea

      Hillary zoomed in right away to inflcit the most narcissistic injury she could while still looking professional and presidential.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Bad, Mike, bad!
    That’s why he’s called the VICE-presinential candidate.

  • anon_the_great

    It is time for someone from the reality based community to challenge Orange Hitler to a duel.

    “Sirah, Reality can no longer ignore your insults.” Slaps orange Hitler in the face with immaculately white gloves. “My Second will be in contact with yours. Good day Sirah!”

  • kaydenpat

    All that cocaine makes you very forgetful.

  • Lizzietish81

    So after the election how long before he claims he didn’t actually run for president?

    • Spotts1701

      15 minutes. 30 if he stops to have a Big Mac first.

      • therblig

        that’s what chris christie is for.

    • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

      The rate he’s going, he may deny it today.

    • Lulu Mac

      Before he evens has a chance to give a concession speech…he’ll just gaslight Hillzy like every other douchebro…

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      “But you accepted the nomination and told everyone you would be President.”
      “I didn’t– I don’t say that.”

    • lucidamente

      He’ll blame it on the Electoral College (“those losers never went to Trump University!”).

      • Mehmeisterjr

        The Electoral College is no New York Military Academy.

    • Mavenmaven

      He’ll have James O’Keefe prove the election was all stolen and really he won.

  • Mavenmaven

    “I didn’t say it, Hillary said it from her earpiece like a ventriloquist, into my defective microphone, it was rigged!!!”

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and cheat on my taxes and I wouldn’t lose voters,”
    — Donald Trump (Here’s hoping he’s wrong)

  • JVisconti

    Just heard Trump spox say that Donald is merely storing the painting for the foundation and is charitably not charging any storage fees.

    • Oily Messiah

      It’s actually a donation for the met

      • Agnes Featherbottom

        By the Met you mean the subway, right?

    • Astraea

      Next year: Trump charging storage fees for displaying property purchased by the Foundation.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Dusting costs money, you know. (Or it would if he paid his staff.)

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      His thoughtfulness and commitment to charity is astonishing.

  • laughingnome

    Just spit balling here: maybe that cheek sucking thing Trump does comes from hanging around with models all the time. A Zoolander thing. Or advanced dropsy.

  • Brian

    Watching Hillary deliver Raleigh speech now. There’s a young woman in the crowd behind her who’s so happy to be there she spent the first five minutes crying.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Yup. Saw her too! Hillz is obviously in a very good mood today.

      • (((JustPixelz)))

        She’s doing pretty good for a corpse. Unless Doctor Hannity misdiagnosed her … nah, that’s unpossible.

        (Mrs Pixelz says Hannity revisited the Hillary health idiocy on Monday. I guess he was hoping she’d collapse on stage so he could brag about how SMRT he is.)

    • Serai 1

      Oo, thanks! Goddamn, she sounds better than she has in weeks. Trouncing the Annoying Orange has obviously given her a boost. GO HILLZ!!!

  • therblig

    “I never said I didn’t owe taxes, I just said I never paid them. I’m not satisfied with the work the federal government is doing.”

    • elviouslyqueer

      BRILLIANT.

    • Joe Beese

      This may change my whole tax prep strategy.

      • therblig

        H&R Cellblock?

      • Bitter Scribe

        The Trump Exemption.

      • eddi

        Beats the SovCit dodge.

  • Serai 1
    • Msgr_Moment

      Guess his name? Why it’s Trumplethinskin!

      • MynameisBlarney

        Snufflebumplepuss works as well.

      • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

        I’m looking forward to seeing him stamp his little foot and disappear into a chasm, never to be heard from again.

        • TeeRaak

          Ooo, who

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    OT: Another woman (and you might be surprised who it is) is gutting Trump the way Hillz did last night. Jennifer Rubin eviscerates him in the WaPo today. Lol.

  • Nounverb911

    Dear Donnie

    If yur elected preznit, I promise to never pay taxes too, also, just like you

    Merika

    • ViveLaDeplorables

      1000 upfists.

    • Mavenmaven

      The Rich have already been promised this by the GOP.

    • Tony Alexander

    • (((JustPixelz)))

      Unfortunately, you won’t pay taxes because under Dear LIttle Leader, we will all be unemployed.

  • ViveLaDeplorables

    I dream of the debate where Donald brings up Bill’s infidelities and Hillary says something like this and we all cry and hug and everyone votes for Hillary because HOLY CRAP:

    Thank you, Donald, for asking about that very painful time in my life. Because today, I am secure in the knowledge that my faith in and deep love for my family, and yes, my love for my husband and the life we built together, sustained me. Today, I am so thankful for the power of mercy, love and family. Because you see, Donald, out of that pain I upheld a marriage that gives me great comfort – my one and only marriage, by the way. We have a brilliant, accomplished daughter who Bill and I raised together every step of the way, and who has dedicated her own life to compassion for others. I have a beautiful grandchild that our entire family can watch grow up, together. And because I have seen my share of challenges and emerged victorious, I know that I have the strength of will and faith in good people to lead this already very great nation.

    • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

      Your newsletter. I subscribe where?

    • Joe Beese

      Ooh, you’re dangerous.

    • Lulu Mac

      No…YOU’RE crying…

    • anna rampage

      You should contact the Clinton campaign and see if you can get in as a writer….

    • elviouslyqueer

      Something something “They go low, we go high” something something something.

      • OneYieldRegular

        And with that one simple phrase she secured the Cheech and Chong Fan Club vote.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Ghoulliani said Hillary was stupid because she did not know about Monica Lewinsky — lol — keep digging you knuckledragging motherfuckers!

      • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

        As stupid as someone who insisted on locating NYC’s emergency command centre right at the most likely target of an attack?

      • James Christopher Owen

        I’d rather be stupid than be Giuliani.

    • Spotts1701
    • h4rr4r

      Good, but add more about Trumps failures at marriage just like at business.

    • James Christopher Owen

      Yes. Please, Trump. Go there.

    • Amalga

      I think it is two grandchildren now. Thank you for your great post!

  • Rick Hill

    Clinton: And maybe because you haven’t paid any federal income tax for a lot of years. And the other thing I think is important …

    Trump: It would be squandered, too, believe me.

    You’re right, Dok. Sure sounds like “If I payed taxes…” is implied in his remark

  • FauxAntocles

    Any truth to the rumor that the original Donald died of a coke overdose in the 80’s and this dude is just some kind of clone?
    One must speculate…

    • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

      Whoever copied THAT deserves diarrhea for eternity.

      • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

        EWW!! THAT’S WHAT THE SNIFFLES WERE!!

        • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

          Diarrhea…of THE FACE!

    • RumAddled

      Andy Kaufman

    • (((JustPixelz)))

      Many people are saying…

  • Teecha

    Fuck’s sake.
    I hate this attitude about taxes. I like Caitlin Moran’s thing. She said the first time she got her payslip with the tax shown, she knew she was no longer one of the oppressed masses.
    I once had supervise a ‘money sense’ workshop run by npower, and the chap leading it said ‘everyone hates paying taxes.’ I couldn’t let this lie. I interjected ‘lots of adults are quite happy to pay for roads, hospitals, waste collection and your education, kids.’ He laughed awkwardly and called me a lefty liberal. As if that was some sort of insult. I’m the liberalist leftie you can imagine. I roasted him after about setting kids a bad example. His boss emailed me to apologise the next day.

    • Joe Beese
    • eddi

      The same sort of people who like to brag about how they are too smart to have to serve on a jury. Or is that smrt?

      • SeekingBarbie

        A couple of months ago I was called up for jury duty, and the first thing some of my friends said was “can you get out of it?” I’m happy to serve, and since I’m unemployed it was not a hardship. It was actually pretty interesting.

        • DensityDestiny

          I jump at the chance to tell people about my jury duty experience. Sat on two trials, one civil and one criminal. It was an amazing experience. I think that serving on a jury is the only way to fully appreciate the meaning of “beyond reasonable doubt.” The best part was that 12 individuals from all walks of life did the hard work of reaching the best decision they possibly could.

        • Thiazin Red

          That was my boss for me. She acted like I was called up for jury duty on purpose.

        • eddi

          I haven’t got a summons in years. The pool expanded a lot when the courts added vehicle registrations to the sources. But I was on two juries and called about 6 times.

      • Teecha

        Yup. Twats.

    • Spotts1701

      I’m fine with paying taxes. I’ve never tried to dodge that responsibility, because it is a responsibility. Same as paying the rent, or the light bill, or the grocery bill. Plus, I think planes falling out of the sky or pothole-laden roads are a bad thing. I would think others think the same way, but what do I know?

      • Teecha

        You must be one of the leftie liberal brigade also too.

        • James Christopher Owen

          You wouldn’t happen to know where I can get a new membership card, would you? My old one’s been through the wash one too many times. :)

    • Thiazin Red

      I don’t mind paying taxes. I like roads, and hospitals, and police, and fire departments and schools, etc. I would be happy to pay more if it meant having the same social safety net that every other developed country has.

      • Teecha

        What, like paid parental leave, statutory sick pay and healthcare free at the point of use? What kind of pinko commie are you?

  • weejee

    #SniffleGate

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Hillz slaying it at a rally in Raleigh — a Ralleigh ! — talking about her mum — very touching.

  • limberrat
  • eddi

    Everybody is going on about how Hillary kicked Donnie’s ass. If you look close the prints on the seat of his pants are identical to the shoes he was wearing last night.

  • Occam’s 8 ball

    you know what? I will release my taxes when she releases her 30,000 deleted emails! Of course I’m lying about the whole being audited thing! Why won’t she release her 30,000 deleted Emails? That’s why I can’t show my tax information. 30,000 emails!

    • Nounverb911
      • eddi

        That’s entirely different. Because Republican reasons.

      • Suttree

        And they took all of the fucking hard drives with them!

    • Panika MCD

      surprised he hasn’t used the “my dog/10 year old ate my tax returns” excuse yet.

    • Spotts1701

      And if she handed them over, he’d find something else. It’s a dodge, plain and simple. If he could do it, do it. Don’t condition it on an impossibility.

  • Nounverb911
    • Donald thinks a rebuttal is getting a nip and tuck for his ass

  • LifelongLurker

    That was definitely the jump-out-of-my-seat moment of the debate for me. “Holy hell, dude just admitted it! Does he even know what he just said?” (Pretty sure Hillary knew what he just said.)

  • Duke
  • (((JustPixelz)))

    If only the IRS had a way of checking tax returns for evasion and fraud. OH WAIT! They do. They politely call it “an audit” but at the end of the audit someone could end up in jail.

  • limberrat
    • Panika MCD

      no, you snorted.

    • eddi

      And Clinton burned him again.

  • Instead of a check, this year I’m going to send the IRS a note that shows my IQ and lifetime gpa average.

  • Panika MCD

    OT – Things I’d Rather Talk About Than Donald Trump 9/27/16 #6:

    I’ve been avoiding talking about this, but State Rep. Dawnna Dukes is stepping down in January.

    http://kut.org/post/state-rep-dawnna-dukes-retire-due-health-concerns

    and that gives me a case of the sads because our most elequent people were Leticia Van De Putte (tried to become SA’s mayor, may try again, started a bipartisan lobbying group with Susan Combs and was co-chair of the DNC rules committee with Barney Frank; also too is now a blond), Sylvester “Sly” Turner (now Mayor of Houston who was Vice Chair on Appropriations and wrote the book on how to kill bills–because that is a lot of what legislators do, especially when they are in the minority) and Dawnna.

    now you will read that this is because of one of two things: she was in a car accident in 2013 and was missing a lot of work because of it; she is being investigated for misuse of state funds. it’s probably more the former and a dash of the latter.

    what is she being investigated for? for housing one of her staffers at her abode, having staffers work at a fundraiser (the African American Community Heritage Festival: http://austinheritagefestival.org/ which raises money for Huston-Tillotson U scholarships and other community projects) and for paying her staffers to pick up her daughter from school.

    this is bullshit given the much more widespread misuse of state funds and is an attempt to “BOTH SIDES DUET!!!!” the whole thing. hmmm…I don’t think that is the same as paying 3 former staffers who left to work on presidential campaigns ” (Paxton: http://www.dallasnews.com/news/politics/2016/05/12/six-months-pay-for-third-paxton-staffer-given-emergency-leave-after-she-left-ags-office), using it to bribe ex-staffers to not sue you (Miller: http://www.houstonchronicle.com/opinion/editorials/article/Perks-for-ex-staffers-7958067.php) or to pay for unused vacation days (GP Bush: http://www.dallasnews.com/news/politics/2016/05/22/george-p-bush-paid-fired-employees-1-million-to-keep-them-from-suing-report-says) under the auspices of “emergency leave

    it is also being claimed by many a mansplainer in the D community as being soooo much worse than Ron Reynolds being convicted of ambulance chasing (https://www.texastribune.org/2015/11/21/report-state-rep-reynolds-guilty-ambulance-chasing/).

    I’m sorry, but even I have spent time taking care of Dawnna’s daughter and she is delightful. Dawnna has had neck and back problems associated with her accident which means she’s been scarce around the lege already. and we will miss her in many ways.

    the two people to indicate interest in running for HD46 so far are W. Joe Deshotel Jr. (son of State Rep. Joe Deshotel, D-Beaumont and one of the people behind Ride Austin–a non-profit version of Luber) and Fmr. Mayor Pro-Tem Sheryl Cole. Travis, Harold Cook’s dog, has also expressed interest and seems to be the first to get lit out there.

    https://scontent-dft4-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14446141_10154822980981664_4276186435396925734_n.jpg?oh=63f26d41cf0cf47fea3073894c5ce2c5&oe=587B9FE1

    • eddi

      Talk about looking electable.

      • Amalga

        He looks very sincere.

    • SeekingBarbie

      I’m not particularly partial to dogs, and that is one fine-looking dog.

  • TeeRaak

    Surely, Trump is smart enough to pay taxes when frugal Republicans are in charge, right?
    https://media2.giphy.com/media/HlRZDYn2NbkLm/200w_d.gif

  • artem1s

    the campaign must have those returns or some sort of documentation. I can’t believe they would go out on a limb and Hillary make such a definitive statement unless they had the proof in their hands.

    • eddi

      Believe it. Trump has re-invented the Big Lie strategy.

    • Death Rocks From Space

      They were filed with NJ Gaming Commission or some such and that is how they got out.

  • Oneofthebobs

    “That makes me smart.” If that’s true, he must have paid more than he owed.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Joe Beese

      LOL Titanic

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        and back up and hit it again just for fun. hahaha

        • eddi

          Best comment of the day. And from a Republican yet.

        • Cindyinencinitas

          Brilliant!

      • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

        “Would somebody give Kellyanne a hand with those goddamn deck chairs?”
        https://youtu.be/mCEfqj9pDAI

    • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

      This day rocks.

    • Vagennifer Flowers

      What’s specially nice is that John Podhoretz just endorsed him.

      • eddi

        I wonder if Teddy is kicking himself? If he had held out on supporting Trump until now, nobody would care if he endorsed him or not.

        • OneYieldRegular

          I’ve considered sending Ted Cruz a postcard with an especially unflattering screengrab of Trump from last night’s debate and Ted’s own words – “an agonizing decision” – as the caption.

          • eddi

            Harsh, cruel but fair.

    • chicken thief

      No room on there for Steve Schmidt, Michael Steele, and Nicole Wallace? Or are they still considered to be part of the GOP since they appear on MSNBC?

    • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

      Try spinning out of THAT, motherfucker!

      • Astraea

        He’s winning the online polls!!!!

        • Doug Langley

          And the others are skewed, don’t ya know.

    • zerosumgame0005

      that poor chicken he choked!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Hold on just a minute. Bill Kristol said something that was manifestly correct. This is a historical first!

      • thirdeblue

        A deep uncontrollable chill just ran up my spine.

    • Candy Apple

      This is delicious.

  • Nounverb911
  • DesertedPictures

    Maybe Trump is just a Fleetwood Mac-fan?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5HkuhSEnPQ

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Given Trump’s obsession with “hanging around” beauty pageants, nice shout out to Miss Teen S. Carolina there, Dok , such as with “the South Africa and the Iraq, everywhere, like, such as”. I think you’ve identified a potential future Mrs. Donald J. Trump.

    • Suttree

      Haha! Thanks man, I was wondering about that sentence. Flew right over my head.

  • Vagennifer Flowers

    So, this is a good sign. Long-time NY Times cool kid Frank Rich – who has always, always been vicious about the Clintons – referred to Trump’s performance as “Gore-like.”

    • JustDon’tSayBraggadocious

      Ups for the new nym!

      • Vagennifer Flowers

        tu :)

      • malsperanza

        I am losing track of everyone.

        • Sakonyachen

          It’s getting confusing. But mostly I’m jealous because Discus won’t let me change my name.

    • revenant

      “Gore-like” my aching aged ass- okay, he sighed, big deal. The day Dickhead Drumpff has the command of facts or the ability to speak in clear, complete and grammatical sentences that former Vice President Gore has, then they can be compared. Until such time, Mr. Rich can stuff it.

      • Vagennifer Flowers

        Oh, Mr. Rich can fold it into the pointiest possible shape and stuff it. It’s just, if ever anyone was willing to throw the country down the toilet to validate his worst impulses, it’s Frank Rich. So if he actually analyzed someone else as the person who was beneath his contempt in a transaction which involved Hillary Clinton, we may have passed a tipping point.

        • revenant

          you make a good point. now, if we were to, say, bronze it, we could offer it to Mr. Rich, for him to sit suddenly and forcefully upon, and spin

          • Vagennifer Flowers

            I endorse this message.

  • bubbuhh

    Best Political Tweets of Yesterday came from Lawrence, Kansas PD. Lawrence recently disscovered the Twits.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/97483e179424e1cf44c04df126a866fbefbb10f9441c8a9fb3cd5e9a3669f7d5.jpg

    • Shannanigans

      Woohoo! My old stomping grounds!

      • Sakonyachen

        I went there to see some shows years ago. The people seemed a bit too smart to call 911 because they are mad at a candidate. Was I wrong or is that a rare thing?

        • Shannanigans

          I dunno since I haven’t lived there as a citizen in a long time.

        • Shannanigans

          I think the PD was probably joking. But it’s not entirely out of the realm of possibility that someone would make that call.

  • Gerald Brown

    Trump’s promise to release his returns “as soon as the audit is done” is a bogus excuse and a sneaky con job wrapped all in one. His statement seems to promise that the tax information could be public any day now, but imminent release could hardly be farther from the truth. A March 2016 letter from Trump’s accountants provides insight.
    And I quote:
    “Your personal tax returns have been under continuous examination by the Internal Revenue Service since 2002, consistent with the IRS’s practice for large and complex businesses.”
    That is, the complexity of Trump’s business interests requires a continuing, open-ended audit under IRS policy. What’s particularly notable is that this on-going audit has already spanned 14 years. So then, it seems fair to surmise that, unless IRS practice or Trump’s business interests change, his audit can easily continue for another 14 years or more.
    One can only marvel at the audacity here. Trump knows the IRS is on a path to continue his audit until years after he no longer owns his many businesses. (Audits take time after all.) Yet, he reassures the public of release “as soon as the audit is done” as if to show how very cooperative he is. Rubbish. What Trump is telling us in reality is that he will promptly and happily disclose his tax returns several years after he is dead and buried. How many times and in how many ways is this man going to play us for suckers?

    • Shibusa

      “us”?

      • eddi

        As Tonto said, “What you mean ‘we’ paleface?”

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          wait until the Lone Ranger figures out what kemosabe really means…

        • TundraGrifter

          eddi:

          This is much too obscure:

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWuMevc6G4w

          • eddi

            I have never heard this before. Thank you for broadening my musical horizons. Not to mention the laughing all the way through it.
            I have only heard the usual joke version. In ’58 I was way too young to enjoy Mad.

    • tehbaddr

      Being under audit by the IRS does not mean he can’t release his returns, the IRS has said this. It’s a bogus excuse.

    • Until he is given a perp walk in an orange jump suit?

    • TundraGrifter

      On a number of occasions Chump offered to release copies of his Federal income tax returns. Last night Sec. Clinton should have responded to his offer with “That’s what you said you would do if Mr. Obama released his birth certificate.”

      When Chump promised to make public his Federal income tax returns he knew he was under audit. So it was a lie from the get-go.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      He never thought he could win. His entire campaign has been a branding exercise. Why release his taxes, which would certainly hurt his brand (whatever he’s hiding), when he knows he can’t win?

  • Lulu Mac
    • Jo Lello

      Yo win the Internet my friend

  • Joe Beese

    Unlike this place, the New York Times allows comments. Including this one.

    My mom — almost 100 now — is Chinese from a generation taught to defer to men and view unfavorably women who achieve prominence. In her mind and from her culture there’s a natural order and women aren’t part of it. That’s despite her degree from St. John’s University in Shanghai, regarded as the “Harvard of China.” Despite being a single immigrant woman, raising two sons while employed as a translator and journalist at Chinese publications where she was the only woman.

    By virtue of his gender alone Trump would win my mom’s support. I watched tonight with her. She smiled when Trump talked and knitted her brow when Hillary spoke. Five minutes in, when Trump grew obnoxious, my mother began to look irritated and soon contemptuous. “What kind of man is he? He insults his parents with his behavior. He humiliates them with such low class manners.”

    Hillary? Maybe it was her lucky (for Chinese) red pantsuit but “This is an educated woman from a good family. You can see that in the proper way she speaks and her bravery to speak forcefully to that man. I feel sorry for that man’s wife but she must be a stupid girl to have married him.”

    Trump had my mom by default. In 90 minutes he broke 100 years of deeply ingrained male bias. At her age she uses an absentee ballot. After the “debate” she went looking for it. She had seen and heard enough.

    • DesertedPictures

      I can easily prove that this place allows comments.

      Here… I just did!

      (cool story though)

    • ViveLaDeplorables

      Beautiful!

    • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

      Thank you for posting this. We’ve all been conditioned to value and respect men over women, and to disregard or diminish our own accomplishments, just like her Mom does. I truly believe this election can change minds. Women are inherently equal to men. Our rights need to reflect that.

      • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

        Absolutely right. The fact that in the year 2016 this even needs to be SAID is troubling. It’s long past time that racism and sexism were finally consigned to the trash heap of history.

        • Teresaamartinez

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !rk583f:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !rk583f:
          ➽➽
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      • Sakonyachen

        I agree with you up to a point. Some men make me think that women may be inherently superior. Not that there aren’t some incredibly dumb women, there just seems to be less of them.

        • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

          I don’t think we’re inherently superior, but I do think we handle the role we’ve been cast in with more grace than men handle theirs in general.

          • Sakonyachen

            That sounds much more accurate.

    • Candy Apple

      I actually got chills reading this.

    • OneWhiteWhisker

      Wow. Amazing.

    • revenant

      three cheers and a tiger for your mom, a class act.

    • TundraGrifter

      Does that nice Mom have a sister? I ask for a friend.

    • whitroth

      Good for her – reason won out.

      And I thought that while I was watching it – he was rude and obnoxious, and continually interrupted Hillary, and the moderator, when it wasn’t his turn. And ran more than slightly over when it was.

  • DesertedPictures

    What I want to know is this: his lawyer adviced him not to release his tax returns. Is she afraid that Trump will be suit by people if they find out what’s in them. What does he have to hide?

    • ThirdAmendmentMan

      He has to hide that he’s not anywhere near as rich as he claims.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        or nearly as charitable, or that he’s been taking advantage of government help for small businesses, or that he’s deeply in debt to the Russions

      • eddi

        He claims billions. Given he is flat incapable of telling the truth, it is most likely an order of magnitude lower.

    • chicken thief

      My guess is that he 1099’d Killary for services rendered murdering dead Tony Scalia, but that could just be pure speculation on my part.

      • JohnC44

        You know what we do to snitches around here…

  • bubbuhh

    It was a bad mic night cuz mic kept picking up words spoken from the dick. This brings to mind a blast from the primary past. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5a398de6b3252ae1a130c6155d276c348c0ca92fac1bb2ba713a04767e6d8306.gif

    • Candy Apple

      The artist’s depiction of Cruz’s nose is so life-like!

      • JoeChristmas

        Dick Nose Pick

      • WhyFelicia

        I actually can’t even figure out who the moderate one is supposed to be.

        • TundraGrifter

          Jon Stewart said he was so obscure his wife had to Google him to figure out just who the heck he is.

  • Sister Artemis

    You’re back!!!!
    Glad you survived the ebolas. Hope the lungs are getting back to normal.

    • Rick Hill

      He survived that? Darn. Now I get to get the weaponized zika out of storage….

  • Candy Apple

    The eyes seem to follow your wallet around the room

    I’m glad you’re back, Dok. :D

  • Ryan Denniston

    “He then went on to say he hates the way our government spends our taxes on foolishness like the Iraq and the South Africa”
    Also too The Cyber. The Cyber.

  • iamhyphenated

    He seems to be using the term ‘our’ loosely when describing ‘our taxes’.. seeing as how he hasn’t paid any.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      He also has paid any creditors. And, hi, campaign workers, he won’t pay you, either!

    • wavicles

      It’s the royal we.

  • WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH THOSE PONIES????????

    Welcome back.

    Note to those with Twitter accounts please remember to like and re-tweet Hillary’s tweet.

  • comeonpeople

    Love the South Africa and such.
    I was just wondering how Miss SC is doing!

  • UnsaltedSinner

    “Our airports are falling apart!”
    “Do you pay any income tax?”
    “No, I’m smart. It would just be squandered, anyway.”

  • Teresaamartinez

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !rk583f:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !rk583f:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash583TopQuestGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!rk583f:….,…….

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