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got-debt

Today in completely unsurprising news, yet another study by yet another bipartisan group has found that Donald Trump’s economic plan will result in trillions and trillions of economic debt! Oh gee, who would have thought?

The Committee for a Responsible Federal Budget estimates that Trump’s current tax plan, along with his other proposals, will increase the national debt by $5.3 trillion. Which is actually a lot less than some other estimates! The Tax Policy Center’s analysis of his plans in December said they would increase the national debt by 24.5 trillion, and just recently, one of his very own advisors said they would increase the national debt by 10 trillion (though he was sure to mention that this was no big).

By contrast, the Committee says that Clinton’s proposals would increase the national debt by $200 billion, which is a lot less than $5.3 trillion! Like, a whole lot less. Also her proposals will actually help people, so there is that.

Now, the Trump campaign says that these studies — all of them, we guess — don’t take into account the fabulous economic growth that is going to happen, which will result in an increase in tax revenue. According to the committee, that is not actually true.

When Trump introduced his economic plan last week, he vowed that his tax cuts would be paid for partly by triggering record economic growth. The committee was skeptical and presumed these steps would generate no new growth. Several economists have projected that Trump’s economic agenda — especially his restrictions on immigration and trade — would slow economic growth and possibly cause a recession.

Trump has also proposed a sharp increase in spending on the military and veterans. He has proposed some spending cuts, but the committee calculated they wouldn’t come close to balancing the budget.

Trump’s economic advisor, Peter Navarro, explains that “No tax cut would ever make sense from a purely budgetary perspective in a static world,” Navarro said. “It’s even sillier for this group to ignore the trade, regulatory, and energy policy reforms that provide positive revenue offsets in the trillions of dollars.”

Of course, the problem there is that if you make everyone sick by getting rid of safety regulations and fracking anywhere you goddamned please, there’s gonna be no one out there generating that revenue! We will all be too busy vomiting.

Then there’s the fact that the only jobs Trump is even promising are minimum wage jobs. He is promising the jobs that illegal immigrants currently have. He’s promising to bring back manufacturing jobs from China, and on the off-chance that happens, will pay minimum wage. They will not pay what they used to, because we don’t have strong unions anymore.

As far as I know, almost no one currently has a problem obtaining a minimum-wage job. The problem is not a lack of minimum wage jobs or close-to minimum wage jobs, it is a lack of jobs that people can actually support themselves on. We need to make the low-wage jobs that are currently available pay more, and that’s not going to happen with a President who supports Right-To-Work.

Trump also supports eliminating the estate tax, which will result in the distribution of wealth in this country being even more out of balance than it currently is — and nearly all of the money will be in the hands of celebutantes who have no need to create jobs or do any innovation or anything other than occasionally being celebrity DJs and having their own reality shows.

He also wants to cut taxes for the wealthy — so basically we’re gonna have a situation where the only people who actually have any money are not going to be contributing all that much to our tax revenue, while Trump throws piles of our tax money at his dream of deporting people and on the military!

What a dream!

[AP]

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  • Spotts1701

    “It’s even sillier for this group to ignore the trade, regulatory, and energy policy reforms that provide positive revenue offsets in the trillions of dollars.”

    I think the only way that happens is to eliminate the SEC, FDIC, EPA, Department of Energy, OSHA and another dozen agencies completely. And even then I don’t know you’d get that much savings.

  • Vagenda 21 (Royal Ugly Dude)

    the only jobs Trump is even promising are minimum wage jobs.

    Just abolish the minimum wage. Problem solved.

  • Crystalclear12

    Logic, how does that work?

  • Reddishrabbit

    Uh, he only went bankrupt 4 times? That is seemingly more impressive the better I get to know him.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    He’s actually trying to fob us off with “dynamic scoring”, the pixie dust on the magic icing on the supply side fairytale cake. Well at least it might endear him to Paul Ryan. I’m getting so sick of this. Fuck the lot of them.

    • Crystalclear12

      They bought it in Kansas.

      • Lefty Frizzell

        Yeah, and by their own rules, if you decrease taxes and revenue goes down, you were on the other side of the fucking Laffer fucking peak and the corrective action is to increase taxes back past where they were before, but they keep on decreasing taxes. There must be some imaginary Lower Laffer Peak in here somewhere damnit. Fuckers.

        • Arolpin

          The Laffer peak is at 0% taxation, obviously!

          • Lefty Frizzell

            The Libertarian Ideal, in a nutshell.

      • Arolpin

        Yeah, and how is that working out for them? I really, really hope that Kansas flips at least one of their legislative bodies this year, but I doubt that the Democrats even have candidates for many of the State House seats.
        If I weren’t concerned about the suffering (and the Jayhawk Wonketteers) I would just say let Kansas keep doing what they are doing, so that those of us in the reality-based community could just say, “Yes, assholes, you tried your plan, in Kansas, and now Haiti is complaining about all the undocumented refugees coming from Kansas. Why don’t you show me a place where your policies DON’T lead to huge drops in revenue and services and loss of jobs and negative net migration? Eat shit and live.”

  • elviouslyqueer

    while Trump throws piles of our tax money at his dream of deporting people and on the military!

    Oh please. Trump is far more likely to throw piles of our tax money at gold plating every surface in the White House, buying up every single Viagra pill in the western hemisphere, and paying Ivanka an “allowance” for services rendered on days ending in -y.

    • Rick Hill

      He’d likely find a way to sublet the WH to himself and bill the taxpayers

    • mtn_philosoph

      If, IF, there is anything left after he uses them to pay his outstanding legal bills, of course.

  • memzilla

    Drumpf’s “plan” is based on “Magic Asterisks.” H/T Paul Krugman, who deconstructed the similar “plan” of zombie-eyed granny starver Paul Ryan, it means using unsubstantiated “economic growth” as a reason, with absolutely no proof behind it. [THIN AIR LIBELZ!!1!!]

    • Snark Tank of Deplorables

      Every Republican since St. Ronnie of Rayguns has promised that we’d have record economic growth if ONLY we cut the tax rates to the very rich. And it has NEVER FUCKING WORKED, in over 30 years….yet they KEEP making these promises, and the morons in their base KEEP BELIEVING THEM.
      There must be a way to get the semi-educated Republicans to understand what a shitty economic policy trickle-down, supply-side economics is. They won’t believe the economists who tell them, they won’t even believe the simple line charts that show how fucked up the economy gets after each tax cut. But somehow, someway, someone has to make them get it.

      • FauxAntocles

        Somewhere in their tiny brains, they think they’re the ones getting the tax cut.

        • Arolpin

          Why the fuck aren’t Democratic candidates asking their opponents to show WHERE EXACTLY in the US, over the past 50 years, tax cuts have provided record economic growth? Because all of the periods of great economic growth that I can find happened with a Democratic president, who raised taxes on the rich.

          • proudgrampa

            Look at California’s recent economic growth… Democratic Governor, Democratic Legislature.

        • cmd

          Or that when they hit the big time someday they will need it.

      • proudgrampa

        It’s just Einstein’s definition of insanity at work: keep doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result.

      • Lefty Frizzell

        See it worked once under JFK, therefore it must always work, and there is no lower limit, ever.

        It makes enriching ones self at the expense of social programs a virtue – “I’m helping the economy!”. It’s the American fucking dream.

        Even my fucking cat could see through the argument, and he’s another fluffy orange psycho.

        • ThePuckStopsHere

          JFK never cut taxes as he was shot dead on a Dallas stewr on his way to lunch one day in ’63 and the tax bill didn’t come to vote until ’64.

  • FauxAntocles

    Wow – no matter how much evidence there is that gov’t spending grows the economy and gov’t cuts shrink it, these clowns still get away with proposals like this.

    • TJ Barke

      IOKIYAR…

  • Spotts1701

    OT: We have a minor insurgency brewing on the “Wonk-Think” piece from this morning.

    • Callyson

      On my way!

    • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

      I had a feeling we might.

      • Spotts1701

        I think it’s good every once in a while to get a little sparring practice in. The guy who’s like “screw ’em all, voting won’t solve anything” was particularly intriguing (in a “how did you survive childhood” way).

        • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

          I am apparently a judgmental monster for suggesting that young people tend to resist listening to or emulating their elders, as I did myself, and that this all seems like what every generation has done, and other equally horrible stuff. I feel like I’m probably not the first person to ever realize this, but I am most certainly the worst. *eyeroll*

          • Historicat

            I thought your being a judgmental monster was one of the things we liked about you.

          • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

            Haha! Without that, I have nothing! ;)

          • Historicat

            Not true – you also have excellent brow definition!

          • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

            Thank you! I like to keep them sharp, because they are a key element of my judgmental facial expressions.

  • CapnFatback

    one of his very own advisors said they would increase the national debt by 10 trillion (though he was sure to mention that this was no big).

    I believe the exact term he used was “a Trump-hands-sized increase.”

  • TJ Barke

    Don’t you get it libtards? Trickle down will finally work this time!

    • anna rampage

      Well, once the top 5% own 99.9% of all the wealth, then they’ll be willing to give up a little slice of their pie…

      • TJ Barke

        “Well, once the top 5% own 99.9% of all the wealth”
        Don’t they already?

  • (((JustPixelz)))

    Don’t forget all the “waste, fraud and abuse” he’s going to eliminate. Or create.

  • anwisok

    Math! How DOES it work?

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Fuck it. Just create the ‘Murka Foundation and stop telling people where the money is coming from or going to. Buy a velvet painting and some gold leaf. Problem solved.

  • Callyson

    Say, you know who else said tax cuts would be paid for partly by triggering record economic growth?

  • calliecallie

    Not to mention the stock market will crash if he’s elected.

  • Step 1: Tax cuts for the rich.
    Step 2: No bid government contracts for Trump companies
    Step 3: Declare bankruptcy, steal Air Force One, count stolen money from the beaches of a non-extradition country.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Step 4: 82nd Airborne lands in said country, finds the bastard, and he’s extradited without the benefit of due process.

      • TJ Barke

        Fuck that, just send SEAL team six.

    • Arolpin

      So he’s basically going to go the Zaphod Beeblebrox route, except without the charm, smarts, fashion sense, and second brain (or even the first brain in this case).

      • SterWonk

        I also doubt his skill at making Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters. Or his skill at anything other than self-aggrandizement, really.

        • TJ Barke

          He does have great Pan Galactic Garble Bluster.

  • shastakoala

    This is Trump trickling once again.

    • Shucky Ducky

      Or gonorrhea. It’s hard to tell the difference.

  • memzilla

    I say it’s time to re-animate him, and arm Zombie John Maynard Keynes with the BFG9000.
    .
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c179865792610cecac30de98b4d8f4a2bb6a76d166c00001587d8a785461b09a.jpg

  • Villago Delenda Est

    He’s just walking in the footsteps of the shitty grade Z movie star, Poppy, and Poppy’s idiot deserting coward son. As the Dark Lord once said, “Reagan proved that deficits don’t matter.”

  • (((JustPixelz)))

    Um also too … to achieve the fantastic economic growth that would generate offsetting tax revenues will require millions of new jobs. But we don’t have millions of people looking for a job. (5% unemployment reflects a normal, fluid labor market) Even if all the people who supposedly gave up, came back, there still won’t be enough. So … we’ll need to import workers!

  • Taco Treg

    Forty-seven days. Forty-seven more days.

    • Cindyinencinitas

      Yard signs up!

      • Taco Treg

        :- )

      • mackafritz

        The thing about the yard signs is that it shows who the idiots are in the neighborhood. I shout “Moron!” everytime I drive by.

        • ViveLaDeplorables

          It really is helpful to know that. Anyone in our neighborhood with a Trump sign does not get invited to our fabulous annual Halloween party. And just in the last month we met two neighbors we didn’t know before, who stopped to admire our Hillary signs.

          • The DeplorableDemmeVagenda

            Our new next door neighbors invited us to an election night party. The invite specified that no Trump voters could attend.

        • Vienna Woods

          We had a neighbour here in SW Ontario with a Trump sign. I see it’s down now. Wondering why.

      • The DeplorableDemmeVagenda

        I worked on a campaign that only gave out yard signs 2 weeks before the election.
        People went nuts!

        • Cindyinencinitas

          I donated $5 to the Killitlery campaign today and for that I shall receive a “free” sticker – in 6-8 weeks! Yay me!

  • jesuswasablack
    • Logic of Color

      Yeah, he’s gonna “renegotiate” our debt. Dafuk? This guy is an actual idiot. We casually make fun of people’s intelligence a lot, but I seriously feel like this guy Trump is just not very bright.

      • He hasn’t said or done anything to suggest that he’s smarter than your average bowl of pudding…

    • Once&futureFred

      “Hey Norm, Imagine how much more fun this would be if this gol-dang money tree grew normal size $20s instead of comically large $1s !”

    • Shucky Ducky

      In Trump’s world, white people collect the harvest.

  • Ima Witstüp

    I think he’s made it pretty clear his plan was to default on it anyway, so might as well run it up big.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Run it up big over 8 years, default, and blame the next president for the all the hardship endured during the following term.

      Other than the default, which is a special Trumpian Twist, that was the W presidency economic plan.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        AOT,K the entire GOP uses that plan

      • Historicat

        This whole scenario was much more amusing on The Simpsons when Lisa needed Bart’s help to stave off the country’s financial collapse.

    • Jo Mathie

      What’s the betting that zero news sources point any of these facts out.

    • gene108

      And there goes the global economy…

  • Indiepalin

    Trump will balance the budget by converting our monetary system from base 10 to base 2, then printing his face on the 3 dollar bill.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      There are only 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

      • TJ Barke

        01000010 01100001 00100000 01100100 01110101 01101101 00100000 01110100 01101001 01110011 01101000

        • Arolpin

          66 97 32 100 117 109 32 116 105 115? Maybe I’m not getting it.

          In Hex it’s 42 61 20 64 75 6D 20 74 69 73. Still not getting it. Are these supposed to be converted to letters or something?

        • elviouslyqueer

          867-5309 LIBEL!

        • Gayer Than Thou
          • The DeplorableDemmeVagenda

            Really.
            Don’t make me call Mr. Fatale to explain this stuff to me.

        • vivian

          01001111 01110110 01100001 01101100 01110100 01101001 01101110 01100101 00100001

      • SterWonk

        There are 1 types of people in the world, those who start their array indices at 0 and those who start them at 1.

      • SterWonk

        There are 2 types of people in the world: those who can extrapolate from insufficient data.

      • Rufus T. Firefly

        There are two types of people in the world, those who think there are two types of people and those who don’t.

    • CapnFatback

      Or he can become a Marxist and introduce the eight-cent nickel.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0K3QtU-iNM

    • Ima Witstüp

      That idea and 10111001 cents will get you cup of coffee at Starbucks.

    • Arolpin

      That would certainly give people a raise. If you’re making $12/hour now, which works out to about $24,000/year you will make $1100/hour, which works out to $10,1110,111,000,000/year in binary. Sure you’ll vote for Drumpf for $10billion/year, too bad that the average car will still cost more than your yearly salary.

  • azeyote

    i thought mexico would pay for everything –

  • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

    Coming this January…GWB II: The Final Fucking

  • JMP

    “When Trump introduced his economic plan last week, he vowed that his tax cuts would be paid for partly by triggering record economic growth.”

    People have said that before; it never worked, not once have tax cuts triggered enough economic growth to pay for themselves. But then again this is the Republican party, and to them, as one of those giant morons behind that stupidity admitted, facts are stupid things.

  • Daisy

    What next, him advocating a return to the Gold Standard?

  • Blackest Noobs

    got bankruptcy?

  • Pickle Truther (AntiDerpomeme)

    Gosh you guys, so critical! TRump is a “big picture” kind of guy. The details will work themselves out, like Underware Gnome Step 2 magic.

    • elviouslyqueer

      You know who else had a big picture?

      • Rufus T. Firefly

        Georges Seurat?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Trump has two of them…

      • Ima Witstüp

        Cecil B. DeMille?

      • Bear OmNomNom

        John Waters?

  • Me not sure

    Do these fool’s not realize that when Trump said “it ‘s great to use other people’s money”, that he was talking about them?

    • RobKanC

      No. he gonna make the world pay money to the US by being great.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      There’s not “an otherness” about them.

    • azeyote

      makes them feel part of the rich white pride Trump thing that they just can’t find at walmart –

    • georgiaburning

      Like the sign at the garage: “We Cheat the Other Guy To Save You Money”. With little roly-poly men laughing below.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    OT: Yahoo hacked.

    • TJ Barke

      in ’14.

    • Daisy

      *bored voice* Oh, how shocking.

    • jesuswasablack

      oh oh there goes my gofuckyourself@y#hoo.com email account, how will I be able to reset all my porn passwords?

  • jesuswasablack

    So Huge, It’ll Be Unbelievable

    hell yeah everyone knows Trump don’t do small!

    http://mein-krampf.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/trump-nacked.jpg

    • TJ Barke

      DAMN YOU, YOU MANIAC!

      • Shucky Ducky

        Your melon-baller is getting a workout today!

    • The Wanderer

      AIYEE!

    • azeyote

      thanks a fuckin lot –

      • jesuswasablack

        welcome

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    OT programming note for Shy- back before the great wonket website meltdown of aught two (the other day), the upscrolling behavior was different- the navigation menu bar floated and would show up as soon as you started to scroll up. Now we have to go to the top of the page for it. Any chance of going back to the floating menu bar?

    • Arolpin

      Damn, glad I saw this because I was typing the same thing.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        it’s a small thing, but I found it handy

        • Rick Hill

          Yeah. I thought it was just me. Like someone stole my browser last night and put one back that was almost but not quite exactly identical.

        • hendenburg2

          yeah same here. Didn’t have to lose my place in the comments (that aren’t allowed)

          • Rick Hill

            Forget that. I didn’t have to wheel all the way up or try to focus enough to centerclick and guide it. Way too much work…..

          • hendenburg2

            just use the home button

          • Rick Hill

            Still too much effort….that’s moving my mouse cursor all the way up the page. And if I have to reposition on the mouse pad…mah gawd, are we savages???

    • Lance Thrustwell

      The CSS needs tweaking, but I don’t know if this blog’s CMS will allow Shy to get at it directly.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I assumed it would be a simple CSS tweak, since it used to do that

  • The thoroughly discredited by actual-real-life-observation Laffer curve rears its ugly head once again…

    • gene108

      And facts have a liberal bias, therefore all the bullshit Republicans spew is just the conservative counterpoint to facts and empirical evidence.

      • Msgr_Moment

        “Nuh uh,” — Trump at the debate.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Laff me once, shame on you.
      Laff me twice. We won’t get laffed again.

  • Rick Hill

    So, trump’s twitts have dropped off and he’s just saying “Be at ….see you there.” Is he in a room with ten very frustrated individuals?
    “Ok, for the last time. Dictators are not our friend. We have to uphold NATO because, BECAUSE of Putin…no, he is not our friend. You have to say this for the debate even if you…OK. I’m done, Who’s got him now?”

  • whitroth

    Eliminate the estate tax? Isn’t that what the GOP (Grand Old Plutocrats) have been calling the “death tax” for 20 years?

    Allow me to quote one of FDR’s last living advisors – that is, he was still alive when I heard this, at least 5 or 10 years ago, who said, on the radio, that the purpose of the estate tax was to raise taxes, some, but mostly to prevent a class of wealthy, like in [“old”] Europe, getting richer through the generations.

    Right… and no one leaving an estate worth under $1.5mil will ever see a penny going to that tax. And how many here will leave an estate that size…?

    • The Wanderer

      You mean apart from Trump and the rest of the 1%?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I’m leaving my kids a nice drumset, some boxes of books, and an acquired tolerance for bad puns.

      • Crystalclear12

        I am leaving my family a house full crap to help them thru their greif.

    • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

      Me I guess, insurance policies, if not assigned to an individual, count towards the estate. Sure there are some trusts to get around that but that is more monies and just from bare math it isn’t worth the extra cost. Maybe if it was closer to 2 million.

    • Arolpin

      It’s actually $5.45million for single folks, and $10.9million for married couples. I know that my grandmother started giving the maximum gift allowance to her children annually because she was worried it would be lowered to $3million and she figured she might as well give away enough to get under that level. She also took her kids and spouses on safari trips and cruises to Tahiti, you know, spending money to stimulate the economy. Plus she had a Afghani refugee as her home-health aide for the last couple years, and my mom made sure that her Aide and family ended up buying the house after grandmother died, because they are a family of hard-working, money-saving, degree-earning, home-buying immigrants.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    Did I wake up in Bizzaro world? Hillary Clinton wants to spend less than a Republican? How the hell did that happen?

    • mackafritz

      Not spend less. Take in less revenue. That is standard Republican.

    • Rick Hill
    • The Wanderer

      Fiscal responsibility, and a realization that you have to balance the equation – to spend more, you must tax more.

      • georgiaburning

        Unless you do math like a Republican. That’s what got GHW Bush voted out. After Reagan almost tripled the national debt, daddy Bush finally conceded a tax increase to help close the gap. His fellow Repubs were not happy.

        • The Wanderer

          Reagan’s queasy grasp of numbers was one of the reasons I started drifting Left.

    • DainBramage

      The Democrats have been the only party that is interested in actually governing the country for quite a while now. The other guys just want to steal whatever isn’t nailed down everything.

  • Rufus T. Firefly

    Stop and frisk the Federal Reserve. Problem solved!

  • Scooby

    Crap! Why did I just buy those Treasury Bonds?

  • azeyote

    dubya mathematics are not for the educated –

  • Daisy

    FFS, I’m only a page and a half in to a five page paper. I suppose it isn’t bad progress, but I need time to revise, because I’m well aware that I’m less likely to do so when I’m straight up typing, rather than handwriting.

    • Bemused

      I always had to print out my paper and revise that way, my revision on computer screen was terrible.

      • Daisy

        I’ll admit to not wanting to pay to print twice, which is why I’m not doing that.

        • Bemused

          Ugh. I think I know what you need to ask for for Christmas this year. (assuming family can afford, etc etc)

  • Poly_Ester

    I may have made a mistake converting this back into base 10, but if the average tax rate is 25% and it is reduced to 20%. The break even point for the growth rate offset is 12.5% growth/year. When was the last time the US economy grew that fast?

    • The Wanderer

      Um, never?

    • jesuswasablack

      What difference does that make? Obama has had 15 million jobs added since he’s been president but still has lost almost a billion jobs?

      https://texaslynn.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/people-barack-obama-selfie-911.jpg

      • ViveLaDeplorables

        If only he hadn’t taken a vacation day on 9/11…

      • Msgr_Moment

        So THAT’s the Muslim in Jersey City Trump is always talking about?

    • anna rampage

      The year we started importing slaves? :/

    • anwisok

      Maybe sometime in the 50s? When we were still the only country with an intact manufacturing sector, and the rest of the world finally started to have enough money to buy stuff from us? IOW, after a World Wa . . . oh.

    • We’ll need to go back to a 90% top tier tax rate to pay for those tax cuts.

  • hendenburg2
  • Rick Hill

    trump wants our economy to be worse than, say, Ireland’s (without the added benefit of affordable healthcare)
    Let’s Irish this btch up, Bayubee!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0SAOzVZbhU

  • anna rampage

    OT,

    But it appears the trigger happy shooty police lady in Tulsa is being arrested for 1st degree manslaughter…

    • anwisok

      WHOA! if true!

    • Nounverb911
    • Rick Hill

      But, the man she shot had enough melanin in his system that shooting him was the only rational response!

    • Rick Hill

      Also, last night, wingnuts had actually made up a false list of outstanding warrants on the guy. You could search the database too, I saw only the two listings that they mentioned in an article. of course the system crashed after that but, they are manufacturing evidence for their crowd so they always believe the narrative.

    • Shannanigans

      I wonder when the last time a cop was charged with 1st degree manslaughter. I’d look it up right now but I have to hit the road.

      The reason I wonder is because…and I hate to say this…Are we really going to have a woman be the first cop in HOW long to be held accountable?

    • TheAmazingBeardedLady

      Arresting her was the easy part. How often do cops get convicted?

  • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

    We’re gonna build a wall around the economy and make the economy pay for it!!

    • anna rampage

      Soon, there will be so many walls in our society that one will need a helicopter to get around…

      • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

        Walls that turn into helicopters that fly over walls!

        • anna rampage

          Wallicopters!

          I like it!

        • Rick Hill

          I used to have a car that transformed into a pile of shit when you turned the key

          • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

            I had a friend whose key was a steak knife jammed into the ignition, and we still call her Steak Knife Cindy.

          • Rick Hill

            Which is actually odd because her name a was Mary

          • TeeRaak

            And she was single?

          • Msgr_Moment

            …and she used to be Mitch.

          • Rick Hill

            She was starting her car and slipped…ooops!

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        or a decent ladder

        • anna rampage

          Pole vaults for the poor!

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            or a good shovel…

      • mackafritz

        Portals

      • Shucky Ducky

        No, we’ll just lift ourselves over them with our bootstraps! [except for the poors who are too poor to know how to use bootstraps.]

    • Rick Hill

      It’s a complex thing, the national economy. You libtards and dumbocrats just can’t understand it so go suck an Obamaphone you mooches.

      • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

        Could you lower your voice or trickle down outta here while I book the Soros Suite at The Abortionplex on my Obamaphone??

      • Walter Wellstone

        Yeah, we’ll have re-education courses on the economy on the FEMA concentration camps where we’re going to send all the Trumpeters once Hussein Obama refuses to give up power with the help of the UN and the Mexican and Canadian armies. We’ll throw some Ameros your way for making license plates while in internment and I’ll have my Obamaphone fully charged to call on the NSA if I see you doing something fishy, capeesh?

        • Rick Hill

          I’m telling you, it’s Obama’s plan to let trump win. He is behind the polls being so skewed, look at the panic already. Then when he rigs it so trump actually wins, the whole world spends the next two months in full blown panic, markets in disarray and begin to plunge. Hundreds of billions vanish overnight as the stockmarket declines. When trump goes to the inauguration and Obama has him imprisoned and takes control as dictator, the whole world supports his actions and recognizes him as legal authority. It’s genius!

          • Walter Wellstone

            To make things more confusing, Obama will order NOAA to unleash a massive hurricane on the Gulf Coast to distract from all that. It’ll be so strong that all the offshore oil rigs will end up in Baton Rouge and Birmingham and the entire coastline will sink all the way to Montgomery. Then Hussein is going to blame it on Global Warming and order FEMA to take over the entire South, you’ll see. I got 100 cases of Hobo Beans stashed up in my basement just in case.

          • Rick Hill

            HAARP is going to destroy most of Oklahoma and texas too, the only patriots strong enough to fight his evil schemes. Though, if he saves us from a trump administration, is it really evil?

          • Walter Wellstone

            Trump is going to lose but Hussein is going to make Joe Biden disappear and Trump will be his VP, just like he did in House of Cards. Wait… what?

          • TeeRaak

            In order to bet against something you have to short it. The only problem with that is you lose money on days like today. A lot of money.

          • Rick Hill

            Imagine the rebound, though

        • Jokes on you! You already are in a FEMA camp!

      • jesuswasablack
    • jesuswasablack
      • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

        WHOA!

      • gene108

        Just dollar bills…how much can it be worth…

    • Shibusa
      • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

        The hotness!!

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        I’m having a thngvbday. Can Ryan come over for a few and cheer me up?

  • jesuswasablack

    When trump is president we are gonna get sick and tired of winning, I can just feel it!
    http://shoebat.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/donald-trumppresident.jpg

    • Amy!

      Are those the twin towers behind his right shoulder? Shouldn’t there be an airplane headed toward them?

  • Astraea

    One candidate would take out a mortgage to buy a house that will provide years of comfort and enjoyment.

    The other will borrow to buy a run-down property, upgrade to gold toilets, then leave it to someone else to take care of and declare bankruptcy so he doesn’t have to pay back the bank.

    • Daisy

      I like this analogy so much, I regret that I have but only one upfist to give.

    • Berkeleybear94

      You forgot stiff the guy installing the subfloor upgrades required to handle the absurdly heavy toilets and having an affiliated company buy the toilets for cents on the dollar in bankruptcy. But that’s understandable as you are not evil incarnate.

    • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

      upgrade? he’ll just put his name on the front and charge $5 mil for that

  • Msgr_Moment

    When Trump introduced his economic plan last week, he vowed that his tax cuts would be paid for partly by triggering record economic growth.

    That’s a laffer!

    • Nounverb911

      The tax cuts are only on HIS money, everyone else can go suck an egg.

    • TJ Barke
    • Gayer Than Thou

      Well if it’s that easy, why didn’t Obama think of “triggering record economic growth”? #ThanksObama

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      groaan

    • Grizz1y

      Didn’t someone, the name escapes me at moment say, “The economy does better under democrats?”

  • Nounverb911

    What does Trump care, he’s using “Other Peoples Money”.

  • Nounverb911

    BREAKING NEWS: Weiner is about to get schlonged.

    https://twitter.com/NYDailyNews/status/779064743298527232

  • DainBramage

    I’ll gladly take on the tax and spend label, at least we get something for our money. But let’s label Republicans appropriately, Borrow and Squander.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Finishing the job GWB started.
    Maybe the poors can eat cake?

    • anna rampage

      Highly refined yellow cake if Trump gets into office…

    • Rick Hill

      *cake will be made from equal parts cellulose, coal ash and fracking wastewater.

      • TJ Barke

        And other poor people.

        • Shucky Ducky

          Soylent green libelz!

          • Rick Hill

            Marketing is going nuts because they can’t actually label it Soylent because real soylent has to contain at least 75% white folks. The future is a complicated place to live

          • sw19tacotruck

            Under Trump’s presidency, manufacturers won’t be tied down to such insane regulations – and they can make them out of 100% black people, just like America wants it.

          • Vincent Ricola

            Or maybe the Mexicans. We can deliver them via that army of taco trucks I keep hearing smart people discussing.

          • Rick Hill

            That’s the problem is getting racists to want to eat black people. They have standards, you know.

          • sw19tacotruck

            Come now, I’m pretty sure they’re all hunt-to-eat types.

          • Querolous
    • Shucky Ducky
  • Shucky Ducky

    Where’s our nice end of the day story? HOW CAN I GO TO BED WITHOUT WONKET UNICORNS AND RAINBOWS (now that we’ve stolen them from the Bible)

  • Nounverb911

    This Just in: Smart people everywhere growing weary from explaining things to idiots….

    https://twitter.com/NewYorker/status/779021219567902720

    • Vincent Ricola

      I laughed. Then I felt like a smug know-it-all jerk for laughing. Then I remembered I don’t care and laughed s’more.

    • Dee Andee

      “This country is exhausting.” Sums it up neatly, yes.

    • Poly_Ester

      Stupidity is the new normal.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Okay, paving the streets of Cleveland in gold? Somehow you know they’re gonna fuck that up.

  • georgiaburning

    About 40% of people polled want to give this nation’s credit card to a guy who’s gone bankrupt four times?

    Based on that, one should be able to earn $60 an hour asking strangers to give you two tens for a five.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      takes notes…

    • OneYieldRegular

      I’m already working a second job accepting money from tourists if I can successfully tell them where they got their shoes.

  • TeeRaak
    • Mr. Blobfish

      Coming soon: Fort Trump

    • Doug Langley

      You laugh, but he already has Pussy Galore on his team.

  • vivian

    I never thought I’d live to see a Preznitial Candidate with worse qualifications than GWB, and then this shit storm takes the stage… Why are we allowing this to happen? Does no one care for the future of our nation? Or even it’s current reputation which has been besmirched beyond repair. We have stood up proudly as a nation and declared ourselves to be A IDIOT.

    • Astraea

      Lots of people care. Unfortunately a lot of other people can’t see past the end of their deplorable nose.

      • sw19tacotruck

        Or even over the rim of their basket.

        • Dee Andee

          OMG, my word, no. If they did that they might see the “others!” They want an other-free world, thank you.

          • sw19tacotruck

            Good point well made!

    • JVisconti

      “Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.”
      Gore Vidal

      • OneYieldRegular

        God I miss Gore Vidal. I can only imagine the pleasure he would be taking – and giving – in taking apart Trump.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I didn’t think it was possible for a president to be worse than the shitty grade Z movie star.

      I was wrong.

    • OneYieldRegular

      I’m sorry, but my level of deep, permanent willful paranoia and denial prevents from me hearing what you I CAN’T HEAR YOU NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH.

  • (((Gosala the Deplorable)))

    Doesn’t matter. Hillary, Trump — we’re fucked. Just a mate of how fast and how hard

    • sw19tacotruck

      Your mate is how hard?

      Ohhhh….. DICK JOKE I WIN!!!!YAY!!!

      • Shannanigans

        You win all the dicks today!

      • Nounverb911

        If stupidity lasts more than four hours, blame your parents.

      • msanthropesmr

        Unmatched.

        You’re a britisher. Can you splain what is a Gillingham? And how it can lose by baseball points to the Spurs?

        • sw19tacotruck

          A Gillingham is a term for a group of pikeys, often found feeding at the banks of the Thames estuary. They are a loyal, hardy breed, much like my beloved Wombles, and actually inhabit the same division as us.
          Spurs are a “massive club” who never fail to disappoint, and are experts at burning down/luckily finding ‘stuff happens’ to troublesome properties that stand in the way of their new Superdome of Sadness.
          Like Arsenal (but without the success) they have all the moneys and get to beated up poor local “minor league” teams such as the Gills in cup competitions, to feel superior for most of the year, until it actually counts towards the end of the season. When they fuck it up in spectacular fashion.

          HTH :)

          • msanthropesmr

            So…If I were picking a team I should not root for the Spurs?

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            arsenal
            it even has “arse” in it’s name
            *sighs*

          • sw19tacotruck

            Up The Arse!

          • sw19tacotruck

            Ewwwww…..
            But seriously, are we talking Premiership or proper football club?
            AFC Wimbledon is clearly the way to go, but that would probably be like following Div III College Throwball, Or minor league Baseball.
            Premiership I don’t care, honestly, but I can certainly suggest which bandwagons so stay clear of.

          • msanthropesmr

            They got to be a team that I can see on the teebee at a bar. Although, now that I think about it, I would be better off following the Mexicans, because that’s what they play at the Nasty Italian restaurant I like to go to when I eat by myself.

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            somewhere, I hope I still have it, I have a jersey from some team south of the border. I bought it at Marshalls a long time ago.
            They are sponsored by these guys:
            http://www.banderasnews.com/1010/images/bimbobread.jpg

          • sw19tacotruck

            Fox News subsidiary?

          • sw19tacotruck

            Arsenal and Everton are decent-run clubs and not on financial steroids, but stalwarts of the Premier League Swansea have supporter representation/ partially own their club in a Green Bay Packers type of fashion.
            Fuck Chelsea, ManUre, Man City, West Ham and Spuds.
            Liverpool are okay, have a decent history, and their new German manager Klopp is funny. Plus we beat them in 1988 to win the FA Cup. Which was nice of them.

          • Arolpin

            No hate for West Ham. They’ve done their time with relegation and fought their way back at least twice in my memory. So they have owners with money now, they still are as likely to go down as finish at the top of the pool.

          • sw19tacotruck

            Obviously, you should give your local MLS team a go. The quality’s definitely improved over the past 15 years or so, and the fans “get it”.

          • Arolpin

            Well, depending on where you live. Portland & Seattle, absofuckinglutely. Salt Lake City, not so much. I’ve been to several Red Bulls games, and it’s always a great time. Have not yet gone to a NYCFC game, and probably won’t until they get a proper pitch. Yankee Stadium is sacred, and it should be reserved for baseball games and papal visits and huge concerts and rallies and anything that doesn’t require a rectangular field.

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            The only reason I like City is because I was 2 hours west of there. We were at that big mall on the edge of town and I asked the ex the difference between being a City fan vs. a United fan.
            She said United fans lived in the suburbs and City fans lived in the city.
            Downtown was much cooler than the suburbs so there you go.
            Personally, I prefer rugby.

          • sw19tacotruck

            Older Man City fans I have absolute respect for (Moss Side, actually come from Manchester like you say) and yoy-yo’d down and up the divisions again. Loyal and follwed them thru thick and thin.
            Sadly, now they’re just another superbrand, flush with financial doping courtesy of their Saudi owners.
            And just like they used to pour scorn on Man Utd fans living in the posh parts/south of England, now you’ll see just as many Man City shirts in London and the Home Counties as you will Utd shirts.

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            when I was there, it was United all the time. Another reason why I liked them. but yeah, I only use the user name because it’s stuck for me.

          • sw19tacotruck

            Nothing wrong with loyalty. ;)
            It’s the bandwagoners and plastic fans that regular soccerball fans can’t stand. Pick a team, stick with it, give and take with the banter, all is good.

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            I honestly came so very close to being a Wigan supporter. The ex had a possible job there and that’s where we would have ended up.

          • sw19tacotruck

            They had a decent run there for a while (on the local-boy-done-good chairman’s money) but they’ve found their natural level again. Loads of decent teams down in the Championship and League One and Two.
            One notable exception, but I don’t want to get into explaining that on here because way too long and makes me way too angry!

            Let’s just say, the experiment of moving teams around the country didn’t work in the UK at all, thank fuck.
            “Cherished community asset” and all that.

          • Arolpin

            If United is good enough for Dennis the Menace (from The Beano, not fucking Hank Ketchum’s terrible single-panel strip), it’s good enough for you! Don’t make Rasher bite you.

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            hell no. I still like them even if their wins are bought and paid for.
            I just don’t follow too close. I just don’t have time for all the teams:
            Chicago Blackhawks, KU basketball, and 6 nations rugby.
            I’ve been in my new place for 5 nights now and the playstation has only played hulu
            I just don’t have the time

          • Arolpin

            Hell, I still cheer for WestHam, because they used to be sponsored by Dr. Martin’s Boots. (Actually, it’s because a good friend from Oop Nort was a fan, but I did like the Dr. Martin’s jerseys.)

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            I do remember those.

          • sw19tacotruck

            Coincidentally, we’re playing Gillingham on the 1st October, but I’m missing the game cos I’ll be sitting in Canadian rainforest.
            Maybe I should have waited before slagging them off, because Football Gods.
            (I can slag off Spuds all the time, because everyone does, tbh)

          • msanthropesmr
    • Spotts1701
    • Taco Treg

      We here at Wonkette appreciate your page click. $$$$

    • Astraea

      I don’t know about everyone else, but when I’m being fucked, those two things matter a lot.

  • hendenburg2

    So here’s the latest laughable statement from Andrea Tantaros: Ailes built a “Rainbow of Women” (for why it’s funny, skip down to SacrificalSheep’s comment, since apparently Jez allows comments). The rest is the standard Roger Ailes horrifying.

    http://jezebel.com/andrea-tantaros-says-roger-ailes-built-a-rainbow-of-wom-1786911207

  • JVisconti

    Donald’s tax plan has made me rethink my yacht purchase until after his inauguration.

  • Nounverb911

    HAPPY NICE TIME PEOPLE
    Keith Olbermann presents 176 reasons Trump can’t be president.

    https://twitter.com/KeithOlbermann/status/779063210800472064

  • Taco Treg

    This is why we can’t have nice things. Jordan Klepper interviewing people at a Trump rally

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7bb70127b45d11189993bb82a14f4455dd4955c77f609b32e6819c971356fae7.gif

    • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

      fuck, I think I gave myself a concussion with that facepalm

    • DainBramage

      The stupid! It burns!

    • Callyson

      UM…Obama was a state senator then.

      Jesus, I weep for our nation’s future…

      • msanthropesmr

        Doesn’t matter. Blackity black black.

        • Jen B_VA

          I actually heard someone the other day say they were fine with whoever was elected, because they were both as bad, but at least we could call it the White House again.
          For reals with their mouth parts. Within my hearing (I am not the palest Baker in the galaxy, k). I got a startled glance and a “No offense” to wit, I said, “Offense taken.”

          • msanthropesmr

            I would have punched ’em.

          • Blacktop Cadence

            With votes?

          • Spotts1701

            All filters deactivated. They’re just gonna say whatever they want.

          • Astraea

            That’s why they want Trump, after all. To make them feel all big and powerful and able to spew their hatred.

          • Beaumarchais?

            That’s what we’re going to get from now on, regardless of who wins.

          • OneYieldRegular

            Your level of control is admirable. I would probably be in jail right now if someone had said that in my presence.

          • Stulexington

            White privilege: believing you will be immune to the fallout from a Trump presidency.

    • Daisy

      Again, I wasn’t quite four when 9/11 happened, and I know who the president was.
      *Hint, Trump supporters, his father is voting for Hillary, and he insulted your candidate. Oh, wait, this could get difficult…

    • Spotts1701

      To quote K.O. “That man…is an idiot.”

      • msanthropesmr

        And they let him vote!

    • OneYieldRegular

      Does that person even have any idea what 9/11 was?

      • Taco Treg

        A day he’ll never forget?

        • Doug Langley

          Now if only he could remember the date . . .

      • Objectifer

        It’s like 7/11, but 2 better.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Welcome to post-fact America.

  • Logic of Color

    I posted this over there too but the Ohio Trump chair lady just resigned
    http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_57e40490e4b08d73b82ff48b

  • Jen B_VA

    Question: If you cut all the taxes, then what the flying fuck does increasing the tax base have to do with anything?
    Do these people even hear themselves speak?

    • Blacktop Cadence

      You pretend there’s a coherent policy regarding anything these people are putting forward?

      I swear, next week Trump’s going to be touting the virtues of Marx and his followers are going to cheer wildly.

      • BosDeploraGrl

        Karl or Harpo?

        • Amy!

          “Say the magic word and the duck comes down.”

    • Señor Skwerl

      I would say Scrooge McDuck, but he won’t be paying taxes either.

    • Jamoche

      They’ll make it up in volume!

  • Me not sure

    Joseph Heller was my adolescent literary hero back in the sixties. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0d3f599a98fcb5ecae1dccd88fb0ef4cc4341f7fa0defb3a00de31fe222c1086.jpg I honestly believe he must have been gifted with foresight.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      None Dared Call It Fiction

  • Rick Hill
    • Daisy

      I’ll stick to comparing and contrasting neoliberalism and neorealism.

      • msanthropesmr

        While the similarities between neoliberalism and neorealism can be easily discerned from the their names, and the use of “neo” to indicate new, the differences between these two philosophies, or ethos, are striking. (Don’t write like this.)

        • Daisy

          My GSI would kill me. It’s my political science paper I’m writing now, not my philosophy one. (I’d be crying right now if I were writing my philosophy paper. Plato would be dead by way of votes if he weren’t already dead.)

          • efoveks

            Philosophy: how to twist grammar and language to the breaking point– along with sanity and most of the parts of your brain. .. The first course is always the hardest. Stick with it– it DOES get easier. Not easy, but easier. Voice of Experience here.

          • hendenburg2

            It’s a little-known fact that Socrates died after being forced to drink a tea made from votes

          • I Only Like Cats

            I went to a classical high school (which was the school that finally convinced my dad to let switch to an online education) and we had to do philosophy. It was the only class I outright failed.

    • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

      good hunting

      • Rick Hill

        It’s tiresome after awhile. Apparently the article mentions a Tyler. One of the sillfucks scolded the other silly fuck “Just remember what the creator says. Use Tyler’s rules to engage.” Or some stupid crap

        • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

          fight club
          those fuckers

          • Rick Hill

            Srsly? There “hero” isn’t even a real person?

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            I’m just guessing here
            that’s the only tyler I know of

          • Rick Hill

            I saw it referenced in the article as well. I didn’t read it thoroughly enough to know but it wouldn’t surprise me.

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            yeah, I’m sure they would take only the shittier aspects of fight club to themselves.
            fuck ’em

    • Panika MCD

      not a big fan of RawStory, so I think I’ll let their people defend themselves.

      • Rick Hill

        It’s a good article. This is the huge downside. Like net neutrality, this will never go away. The altright,mar crap will grow like a virus. A win in this election will not silence them

  • Spotts1701

    Donny Jr., doing his best to dig his hole deeper.

    Take three drinks: one for “microaggression”, one for “PC Culture” and one for “safe space”.

    • msanthropesmr

      MY LIVER,

      • Spotts1701

        IT’LL GROW BACK

        • I Only Like Cats

          IT CAN ONLY GROW BACK FIFTY TIMES.

          • Cindyinencinitas

            Oh shit.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      yes,because retweeting white supremacists and retelling racist propaganda metaphors from convicted Nazi Julius Streicher is a “microaggression”

      • efoveks

        Then there’s this precious quote from Donny Jr. in the article Spotts1701 linked:

        “I understand that running as conservative, there is a different standard,” he said.

        Gotta love it. And drink three more.. :)

        • msanthropesmr

          WTF does that even MEAN?

          • Spotts1701

            It means “STOP PICKIN’ ON MY DAD!”

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          yup, the entire political philosophy of the GOP these days: “No, we’re the real victim here!”

          • Amy!

            American christians have been running that scam since 1980. It’s a winner.

      • Panika MCD

        to be fair, can we really call people with tiny hands macroaggressors?

    • DainBramage

      Junior shoots himself in the foot again, and he didn’t even need to go on a canned hunt to do it.

      • Doug Langley

        Is he hunting canned clams next?

        • sw19tacotruck

          HE’S A MONSTER!!!!!!

          • Doug Langley

            “Here we are at Whole Foods, stalking the natural habitat of canned meat . . . rifle at the ready, expecting danger . . . seafood can be dangerous if only wounded . . .”

          • Cindyinencinitas

            The lady handing out samples of red herring… I don’t trust her… She has beady eyes…

          • Panika MCD

            silly rabbit. you can’t carry your gun in Whole Foods.
            http://i.imgur.com/xQG9h6a.jpg

            but they’re welcome at Kroger’s!
            http://thescoopblog.dallasnews.com/files/2014/08/KoryWatkins.png

          • Cindyinencinitas

            I literally do not understand what this motherfucker is thinking taking a rifle to the grocery store. Must have something to do with his little bitty cart. That’s not a man’s cart, sir.

          • Panika MCD

            he doesn’t think. he freedoms. that’s why he was investigated by the Texas Rangers for threatening the entire lege with death if they didn’t give him his Constitutional Carry because he’s “like Rosa Parks”.

          • anwisok

            Yeah, well . .. we already knew that.

    • Panika MCD

      a) metaphors, by their very nature, are not exactly straightforward and the only way to read it in a straightforward way is that Banana Runts Jr. thinks people ARE candy. if he wants to be straight forward, he should put down the metaphors and walk away. if he wants to use metaphors, he’s going to have to understand they are open to interpretation. I would like him to just not talk ever again.

      b) it’s always lovely to hear about how we don’t need safe spaces from people who have never had to travel outside their very own bejeweled cribs or graduate from bejeweled diapers to the big boy potty.

  • Daisy

    I’ve started the third page of my paper. I’m wondering, if a cited a piece of info early in the paper, then come back to it in a later analysis, do I cite it again? I don’t remember something like this happening before, so I’m a little confused.

    • Spotts1701

      Are you doing MLA? If so, just the author’s last name and page number is sufficient citation.

      • Daisy

        Just once? Because we are allowed parenthetical citations(what I’m doing) or footnotes, and that’s our format, plus year if there is more than one article in our books by the author.

        • msanthropesmr

          OK, so which style of parenthetical or footnoted references are you using? MLA? APA? MOUSE?

          • Daisy

            I believe MLA. The style is like: (Nye: pg. 42) , or if we have more than one, (Waltz: 1979: pg. 61), to use example from my readings.

          • msanthropesmr

            That’s MLA, I think. I make my students use APA, because that’s what’s expected in our field.

            This will help.

            https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/747/01/

          • Daisy

            Thanks!

          • hendenburg2

            All this makes me glad engineering professors are “Use whichever one you want. Mix and match, for all I care. Just make sure everything’s attributed and you give me enough info to find the source if I need to.”

          • Astraea

            AHHHH NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

            You would think Engineers would appreciate being precise and having a good clear method.

          • hendenburg2

            Engineers, above all else, look at practicality. Purity is for those folks in the theoretical sciences (and liberal arts). When I was writing the final report for my team’s senior design project (about 100 pages), for example, I could have spent hours being precise about the citation style (for example, noting exactly which textbook/journal article page number every citation comes from, and then worrying about any differences between the print and online versions), or I could have spent the same time checking grammar and making improving the formatting of tables, graphs and figures so they could better convey the information I was trying to present.

          • Doug Langley

            Engineers tend to have different priorities. Like the bridge not falling down, the power station not exploding, that sort.

          • data_ninja

            As a computer science engineer, I have been told that I’m not a real engineer. One day I’ll prove all of those people wrong! Any day now…

          • Jamoche

            Engineers like standards – the more, the merrier.

          • hendenburg2
          • georgiaburning

            This! It’s much easier/lazier/faster to pick somebody else’s standard that’s popular, not too abominable and serves your purpose than it is to write a new one and get it universally acclaimed. But the Not Invented Here (NIH) craziness is rampant in big companies.

          • Astraea

            It’s been a long time but that doesn’t look like MLA to me.

          • Daisy

            It’s what my professor asked for.

          • Astraea

            I’m sure it is, it’s just a different method. Once you know which method it is, you can get pretty good guidance online.

          • Daisy

            AH, I’m sorry, I just realized my comment sounded kind of snippy, which is not what I intended! :(

          • Astraea

            Not at all! You’re too nice to be snippy.

          • Daisy

            Aww, thanks! Today isn’t my worst, by far. I’m not particularly thrilled, but the only stress is the philosophy paper grade, and even that is only ten percent of the overall.

        • Spotts1701

          The first citation is a full citation. Subsuquent ones of the same work are the shorthand version I mentioned.

          • Bemused

            This. But over-citing is always safer. When in doubt, cite.

    • msanthropesmr

      I am a professor at a Liberal Arts University.

      You must cite EVERY time you reference.

      • Daisy

        Okay, got it. I’ve got both referenced as of now.

        • msanthropesmr

          My students’ first paper is due in 2 weeks and I gave them “the lecture” on APA and other style guidelines today. I’m primed.

          • Vienna Woods

            I would very soon be marking essays on the life of Charlotte Bronte if I was still teaching. My only regret is that the Melania convention speech happened after retirement- what a plagiarism lesson that would be!

      • Señor Skwerl

        Oh you think you are a big guy eh? I have a MOOC certificate and 12 beers in me! And I have to pee.

        • hendenburg2

          I aim for your lofty heights, good sir.

        • msanthropesmr

          We have something in common! I have a beer in me AND I need to pee!

        • msanthropesmr

          Oh. I also have some MOOC certificates. I think they’re a great way to learn stuff – if you have the motivation. I have MITx Python and in about 4 months, I’ll have the Udacity Data nanodegree. (which is what I should be working on now…)

      • anna rampage

        Do you teach electrical engineering, or is that more of just a hobby?

        • msanthropesmr

          Hobby. I teach Ed. Psych. and Research Methods.

          • efoveks

            No wonder EE’s a hobby ?.

            Nerd, I say! Nerd, thou art!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        “I am a professor at a Liberal Arts University. I never thought this would happen to me, but one time after Advanced Creative Writing….”

        • msanthropesmr

          “And then I spent 3 hours correcting horrible grammar and stylistic choices.”

          • Doug Langley

            Wait – this doesn’t sound like Penthouse Forum.

          • msanthropesmr

            Slowly, I typed in…
            You have a pronoun problem here.
            Please do not use the passive voice.
            Do not start a sentence with “it is”
            Please stop using contractions.
            Do not break up thoughts using a dash or parenthesis.
            This is a VERY long sentence.

          • Doug Langley

            Sigh. I’ve had students that I swore never made it out of middle school. My favorite was one guy who took a dislike to me and fired off an email to my coordinator demanding that I “loose” my job. He also got my name wrong. Needless to say, boss dropped it into circular file.

          • msanthropesmr

            For the most part, my undergrads are excellent – it’s a very selective school. My grad students? Eh…..

            I had a grad student who handed in a paper for which every single sentence was passively constructed….

          • Daisy

            That horrifies me. My high school teachers broke me from that habit, which I currently find very useful.

          • msanthropesmr

            Well, in some disciplines, you must write using passive voice – particularly for certain journals in the hard sciences. But in the soft underbelly sciences, where I am, it’s alllll active.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvuetnVoxIs

          • Daisy

            *nods* True enough. My GSI for political science specified that we use passive voice as little as possible.

          • Shannanigans

            Passive voice should be banned, everywhere.

          • I Only Like Cats

            I am so glad I have put going to school off because it means I only have narrative fiction to worry about and parry with the rules of grammar and sense for fun, as a way to relieve stress.

          • ViveLaDeplorables

            I work in banking (credit underwriting), reviewing the work of analysts from our campus recruitment program (groan). We struggle mightily to wean them off passive voice. It’s the hardest part of my job.

          • Doug Langley

            Only one thing to do. Hire the student as a news anchor.

            Unfortunately, my community college isn’t selective. We have something called “open enrollment”. Translates into English as “if you got a pulse, you’re in”. I’ve had to deal with students from Disability Services who absolutely couldn’t get dressed without help. And I tried to teach them motion graphics and game development. Help . . .

          • Amy!

            It’s apparent that what was intended in your last sentence was “A paper was handed in by a grad student in which passive construction was utilized for every single sentence.”

            :-p

          • Bemused

            Passive voice is very useful in preventing defensive responses. If you say so and so did a thing and people should not do that, they often feel they have to protest or explain. If, OTOH, you write that this situation happened but people should not do that, so and so generally doesn’t feel the need to out themselves by arguing about it.

          • msanthropesmr

            Mistakes were made.

          • Bemused

            Yep.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Smartassery aside, have you ever tried your hand at building pedals? A good friend of mine has started down that path; he just built a combination tremolo/overdrive pedal for me. Always a sucker for a cool stompbox.

          • msanthropesmr

            Sure. I’ve built OD pedals, a ring modulator, some other stuff. I only really make stuff that you can’t get commercially though.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Can you build one that will make me sound like I have talent? Believe me, I’ve looked all over…

          • msanthropesmr
          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Thx. I should forward this to Zippy….this is what he does for a living.

          • Objectifer

            I want one of those pedals that sounds like you’re plugged straight in to the amp.

          • hendenburg2

            My cousin is a professor of Spanish lit and this phrase comes up in all of our conversations

          • Vienna Woods

            I love being retired from marking senior academic English and History essays.

          • Suttree

            No, wonder: you & don’t, reply, to; me. much!!!!
            Edit: I meant that ampersand to be a hyphen.

          • msanthropesmr

            No – this is where you can express yourself freely. I have a “comments” section in my class – where I don’t worry about that stuff.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      You cite it again, but I believe you can Ibid. as long as there is no intervening cite from a different source. (That’s footnotes. Not sure how it works with end notes)

      • Vienna Woods

        Yay Turabian style!

  • Doug Langley

    Let me guess . . . Sam Brownback will be Trump’s Sec of Treasury.

    • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

      so long as he leaves Kansas
      and Kobach doesn’t run for that office
      there would be one little glimmer of hope in my world

      • hendenburg2

        perhaps they can throw Brownback into a tornado and hope he ends up in Oz

        • Doug Langley

          What a coincidence. The doctor there will be Trump’s Surgeon General.

  • OneYieldRegular

    “It’s gonna be BIG, folks. It’s gonna be HUUGE. America has never seen a debt like the debt we’re going to have. Terrific debt. The best.”

    “Um, Mr. Trump…”

    “Don’t bother me, I’m talking big here!”

    • Blacktop Cadence

      It’s almost like all that whinging about the debt in 2009 and 2010 was just a cover for hatred of “that president.”

      • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

        winner, winner, chicken dinner
        I asked a tea party person why they didn’t protest when Bush was wanting all those supplemental spending bills to cover Iraq.
        they had no answer

        • Suttree

          Because killing people is important dammit! Helping people, not so much. I’m waiting for one of them to say it out loud.

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            soon

          • Suttree

            October surprise to rally the stormtrumpers.

  • The DeplorableDemmeVagenda

    OT:
    C’mon GOP!
    What’s the matter with you?!
    You used to be so good at this pinko, commie, Russkie paranoia thing!
    Now Putin is OK?
    Aw, man! Can’t count on anything in this world!

    • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

      and they’ve tried to play the communist card just this year!
      *bangs head*

    • TJ Barke

      Russia isn’t communist these days, it’s a fascist oligarchy, which is A-okay.

      • The DeplorableDemmeVagenda

        They can’t possibly understand that!
        (But the Trumpanzees do love them some fascists, though.)

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Couldn’t do it. Couldn’t choose just one. Tenth and final Coffee Spewed on the Keyboard Award for today, for this entire thread. My stomach hurts from laughing.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Thank you for your service, comrade.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Trump is going to increase the national debt by trillions? You seem to act that hasn’t been his plan all along.

    • msanthropesmr

      Just make the check out to “cash”.

    • anna rampage

      It’s okay though, he’s going to renegotiate our debt, much like Greece did when they could no longer pay their creditors…

      • Doug Langley

        Now don’t be mean, Trump has a foolproof plan to balance the budget.

        Umm, the Treasury does take rubles, right?

    • DainBramage

      And this time he won’t have a daddy to go into the casino and buy a pile of chips.

      • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

        how can you lose when you own the casino?
        *looks at Trump bankruptcies*
        oh, well. yeah

        • georgiaburning

          depends on how many sets of books you keep

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            minimum: 2

  • Señor Skwerl

    This is it folks… This is HUUUGGGEEE this is not just trickle down economics…. this is a Hoover x Grand Coolie Dam X 1000 Economics!

    Just stand there working people and feel the economic power sweep America away!

    • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

      When we decided to leave the UK, Canada was the first choice.
      But then we found out it would take 1-1/2 to 2 years to hear about the visas.
      and you couldn’t call or email, you could only send snail mail.
      With me as a US citizen, it took all of 4 weeks to get my ex’s visa.
      Sometimes, I wish we had waited.

      • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

        And since she had been born in Iraq, of course, the last question they asked was how she felt about the war (it was ’04).

      • sw19tacotruck

        Fortunately, I’ve got a sponsor lined up – if needed – and money to invest, but yeah the hoop-jumping in Canada is surprisingly complex.

        • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

          *looks on the internet for a Canadian dating site*

        • I Only Like Cats

          Me too! He’s thinking after (or during) I finish college there (again, if it should come to a Trump presidency), we’ll elope.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Other than the whole Trump thing, it’ll be cathartic for me. I plan on converting all my savings to Sacajawea Dollars, ripping the indicator lever for my turn signals right off the steering column, and driving around Canada at 23 miles an hour, trying to convince everyone to take my bullshit coins. See how they like it.

          • Shannanigans

            Were you practicing in my area at about 5:10pm today? I think I was behind you.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            Wasn’t me, but if you live within 46 miles of Moscow, ID, I was following the same guy.

          • Shannanigans

            He’s probably still not there yet.

        • We’re not good at doing things the easy way. Too much opportunity for the ice to get you if you aren’t jumping

    • jesuswasablack
  • Stulexington

    ZOMG $200 billion!!!! Spendthrift Hillary!

    • I Only Like Cats

      I think she actually wants to balance the budget!

  • Nounverb911
  • Panika MCD

    OT – Things I’d Rather Talk About Than Donald Trump 9/22/16 #7:

    Veterans Park in College Station, TX (where A&M is) is putting up a bunch of statutes. today they unveiled one for the Buffalo Soldiers and Tonkawa Indians. my friend Cecil Webster* attended. here is a photo he snapped of the guest speakers representing the decendants of both teaching a little girl about things.

    https://scontent-dft4-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14446173_10202213858784114_1566483663726857876_n.jpg?oh=46d680107b34fb66b46d88fa7b009870&oe=587B5F3A

    *Cecil is the awesome former Democratic County Chair for the Fayette Co. (not the KY one, the TX one–so he may not get your dirty Nosario jokes.) now he is running for HD13. on his campaign website you will find photos of him in a goofy hat as well as ones from the Round Top 4th of July Parade (which is the oldest 4th of July parade west of the Mississippi and is in a town that has a population of like 76) and the DNC. you will also find ways to donate, send him love notes or maybe give him a thumbs up on the FacePlant. http://www.websterfortexas.com/ his opponent is a newbee to the lege and I don’t know much about him since I started spending most of my time on the senate side of things. but if you google Leighton Schubert you will see he might be going to the same stylist as the creepy one, but that his suits also seem a bit big.

    • Nounverb911
      • Shannanigans

        What’s that, a clip from Lawrence Welk circa 1968?

      • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

        no, no it doesn’t

      • Panika MCD

        I repped for 3rd COA candidates in 2010 and 2012 at the parade. in 2010 the parade start was significantly delayed because Gov. Goodhair was the special person at the front. it’s only about 1 hr from Austin, but Perry was convinced that he needed to fly in on a helicopter and the only available landing spot was in a field like 2 miles away. so we had to wait because he was a SMRT ass.

        • Shannanigans

          Fucking hell. They’re all like a bunch of spoiled children.

          Perry: OOOH LET’S TAKE THE HELICOPTER!

          Staff: Uh, Sir, that’s gonna cause an extra…

          Perry: BUT WE HAVE A HELICOPTER SO I HAVE TO TAKE THE HELICOPTER TO GET THERE!!!

          Staff: Sir, that’s not an appropriate use of resources. The helicopter is for–

          Perry: IT’S FOR MEEEE! THE HELICOPTER IS ALL MINE!!!!”

          • Panika MCD

            and you know they had to drive the SUV from Austin anyway to transport him from the helicoptor to the float.

          • Panika MCD

            to be fair, his office was getting real young and cute by that time and they were probably like, “I CALL SHOTGUN!”

          • Shannanigans

            NOBODY NEEDS TO BE FAIR ABOUT THIS!!!

            Seriously, though. You’re doing an amazing job. I wish you or someone like you would cover MY state lege as well.

          • Panika MCD

            what state are you in? (one of the big bosses actually has a few of these operations.)

          • Shannanigans

            Brownbackistan.

          • Panika MCD

            no luck. sorry. but someone must be doing this for KS.

          • Shannanigans

            I’ll have a look. For my own sanity.

          • Arolpin

            Bah! Small-time. Drumpf’s gofer Christie took the state helicopter to his son’s Little League Baseball game.

  • DainBramage

    Even if I spend the night of November 8th in a bunker with no news, I’ll be able to tell the results of the election by watching the stock market on the 9th. If it crashes and burns, I’ll know Trump won.

    • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

      I’ll know by the gunfire

      • DainBramage

        I’m thinking his deplorables will do that either way.

        • sw19tacotruck

          “The gunfire is coming from inside the house!”

    • Astraea

      I don’t know which would be worse, taking the day off and not having work to distract me, or being surrounded by coworkers who probably voted for Trump.

      • Shannanigans

        The president of the company I work for has HILLARY HATS. This makes me no longer worried about the co-workers who vote for Trump.

        Yes, I know how lucky I am!

        • DainBramage

          Well now you’ve changed your icon pic too. How are we supposed to keep track?

          • Shannanigans

            Okay, I’ll put it back…:P

          • DainBramage

            No, no. I was just joking.

          • DainBramage

            I’m a very silly person.

          • Shannanigans

            Nothing wrong with silly!

  • Panika MCD

    maybe we’re not factoring in enough OPM. what other countries do you think he will claim we can charge for shit that doesn’t benefit them? “We will build a new Disney park and France will pay for it!”

    hopefully we will never find out.

    • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

      build some new sweatshops and make China pay for it?
      just spit balling

      • Panika MCD

        build some breweries and make Germany pay for it!

        • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

          I kinda like your optimism, though

        • TJ Barke

          Pisswasser!

      • georgiaburning

        China will be running them.

    • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

      a fleet of taco trucks and he’ll make Mexico pay for them!

    • ViveLaDeplorables

      We will build banks, and Wells Fargo customers will pay for them?

    • Suttree

      I still wouldn’t vote for him if he got Belgium to pay for my Budweiser.

      • Panika MCD

        well, yeah, because why would you want to have Budweiser anywhere near you?

        • Suttree

          Because I drink shit beer. The southern heat ruined me. You can’t hang out on the porch in 100 degree heat drinking porters, and I cannot afford lambics.

          • Arolpin

            There are decent regional beers at Bud prices. I’m a fan of the Saranac beers for summer, lawnmower beers. Plus I can now get Brooklyn in cans at my local BottleKing, which means I don’t have to bring cups to the pool club anymore.

          • Suttree

            Saranac is something I used to drink in Vermont when I was young, and Brooklyn is pretty good although I’ve only had it a few times. I just drink Bud because that’s what I drink. I will happily drink anyone else’s beer for free. :) Except Corona or Heineken, they make me sick. I will not drink those at all!

          • Panika MCD

            at least we have FoamStar. but I usually drink Shiner.

          • Suttree

            Ugh I cannot drink Lonestar either! I’ll drink my shitty bud and everyone just leave me alone. Although, I used to drink Schlitz, then thought better of it.

          • Panika MCD

            I got you a Pearl.
            https://s3-media4.fl.yelpcdn.com/bphoto/GJs9QKSCO9ibSIgnSBZyFg/o.jpg
            and the hand just kinda came with it.

          • Suttree

            Back when I was in NOLA they had turned the Falstaff Brewery into condos. :(

  • Vienna Woods

    OT but an encouraging update, after a day from hell. We got mum to the front door of the home after lying to her about work being done in the house, no electricity (I HATED doing that), and then she realized what was happening and refused to get out, for an hour. Then the wonderful staff sent us daughters away and with the help of my son got her out of the car and wheeled her in. Where she refused to have anything to do with us, wouldn’t take off her jacket or hat, wouldn’t eat lunch, wouldn’t change the clothes she’d been wearing since Tuesday (yeah, we had good reasons for wanting her under the care of professionals). We left her there like parents leaving an unhappy kid at kindergarten, and I got a call a few minutes ago that she went to a music program, ate all her dinner, and was happily watching an old movie with others.
    Phew. But it was a horrible day.

    • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

      condolences and hugs
      damn

      • Vienna Woods

        Thanks.

        • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

          you deserve that more than anyone

    • Awww….quiet hugs tonight!

      • Vienna Woods

        Thanks… tequila and Gotham, then back to writing work tomorrow.

    • ViveLaDeplorables

      Sometimes people take things out on the people they know love them the most. It’s rough on you, to be sure, but I bet it means your mom needs an outlet and she instinctively knows that you are strong and loving enough to take it. Let us know how you get on. And get some rest.

      • Vienna Woods

        Thanks… already had a nap!

    • Spotts1701

      The first one is, sadly. My mom works in an elder care facility, and she tells similar stories. She also told me that it will get better.

      • Vienna Woods

        Thanks. We know that long-term it will be better (and even short term: she had to have a chest x-ray before admission, so we did that yesterday, and today we found out she has pneumonia!! And she’ll take her meds much better from nurses than daughters, so we can feel confident that will get cleared up fast.

    • Hugs for you and for your mum. With luck it sound like her deficits will help her adapt.

      But it is so sad … :(

      • Vienna Woods

        Thank you, it is sad, but we feel better with her being taken care of by professionals.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Glad you got past the first step…and in many ways the hardest one. That’s what I was told by every facility I talked to…just get ’em in the door; we’re real good at helping them acclimate and settle in after that.

      • Vienna Woods

        The staff were wonderful!

    • Jonny On Maui

      All the hugs and all the love for you Vienna and your family.

      • Vienna Woods

        Thank you, Jonny. It’s a relief but at the same time a huge change. It will take time to settle down into the new normal.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Hugs. I hope I don’t have to go thru that with my mother.

      • Vienna Woods

        Thanks. Well, let’s face it, the alternative isn’t much better. We lost Mr VW’s dad to a sudden catastrophic heart attack, and my dad and his mother to cancer, all many years ago. There really is no best-case scenario here.
        Sigh… now I’m depressed.

    • Shannanigans

      Yeah, we did that with my XH’s grandpa and his live-in lady friend. She’s the one who wanted the two of them to be transferred from their nice little seaside cottage in Southport to an assisted living facility, so much so that she met us at the door with her coat on and suitcase in hand. But when we got her and the grandpa to the place my XMIL had gone to considerable effort to arrange, it took ages convince her to actually set foot in the place.

      The grandpa, however, was delighted with his room and especially with the fact that the place was staffed with a lot of young women. Overall, though, it was pretty awful and I feel for you.

      And more hugs if you need them.

      • Vienna Woods

        Thanks. I am medicating with tequila and bingeing Gotham. And Mr VW got me corn on the cob with vanilla ice cream for dessert.

        • Shannanigans

          Mr VW sounds like a keeper. Especially if he helps you through the tequila!

    • That is one of the hardest things to do ever, but at some point when it becomes dangerous for someone to live alone and impossible for children and other relatives to live with them or otherwise take care of them — providing 24 hour a day care is very difficult to do without professional help. Bless y’all for doing the hard thing but right thing instead of the easy one.

    • calliecallie

      (((Hugs)))

    • mml1996

      I really wish I had the chance to send my grandmum to a nursing home instead of letting her wallow in self-pity and insults from my uncle’s wife…

      Good luck to your mum, there :)

    • cat cafe

      When someone is having trouble with dementia (which I assume is what’s going on), transitions are particularly difficult for some reason. It really is much like dealing with a kindergartner in that respect. You are very kind, and loving, and patient, and obviously have made the right choices since once she got settled in she was perfectly happy. We went through this with my dad years ago. It’s very hard but you are doing everything right.

      • Vienna Woods

        Thanks. I am going to see her tomorrow.

  • Alan

    In all fairness, I should point out that the size of the debt doesn’t actually matter because the issuer of sovereign debt doesn’t ever have to pay it back. The problem is the interest on the debt if it becomes unmanageable.

    • georgiaburning

      Print more munniez!

      • Alan

        Ummm…money supply doesn’t matter either.

        • yyyaz

          That you, Greenspan?

          • Alan

            No, it doesn’t matter. I guess I’m surprised that people on a liberal website buy into the Milton Friedman/Libertarian/Austrian School/Illuminati theory of money which has zero support from almost 200 years of economic data. Yes, if the velocity of money were constant, which it’s not, or real gdp were constant, which is as crazy a notion as unicorns being extinct because they fell off the edge of our flat earth, then increasing money supply would matter. In the real world it doesn’t. In fact, it’s necessary.

  • DainBramage

    Would you trust your economy to this man?
    https://twitter.com/samsteinhp/status/778961292908498945

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Journalism from the MSM, will wonders never cease?

      • sw19tacotruck

        Need to swing that horse race a little further out again, just to keep things interesting.

    • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

      HOLY SHIT ON GOOD MORNING AMERICA?! Miracles never cease!

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Move along. Nothing to see here.

  • Panika MCD

    Sister Artemis asked if I would be compiling all my “Things I’d Rather Talk About Than Donald Trump” comments. I can, but I’m trying to figure out if I should just repost them at the end of the day, make a FacePlant page, see if Burnt Orange Report wants them or what. any recommendations?

    • Jonny On Maui

      My $0.02…

      The last article of the day sometimes, ha!, all the times becomes the final dumping ground for us to lay down our grief, joy and misc. crap. I would love to see this feature all in one place at the end of the day.

      There’s alot of us here that don’t do the FacePlace thingy…

      • Panika MCD

        before or after lege updates?

        • Jonny On Maui

          After. They are kinda like dessert…

  • Maybe good news. The police officer who shot Terence Crutcher indicted for manslaughter.

    I’ll take what I can get.

    • sw19tacotruck

      She’ll probably use the Oakland Bart Station defence and say she thought she was holding a taser.

    • yyyaz

      Might be interesting to see how much the police union lays out for the defense and for the district attorney’s re-election campaign.

  • I Only Like Cats

    I bet Doofenshmirtz is watching this election, saying to himself, “Huh.”

    • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

      Must work on my politicinator-er

  • h4rr4r

    Uh why would you pay robots minimum wage? That is who will be doing any manufacturing jobs that come back from China.

    • btwbfdimho

      China? Who gonna move those boxes in Wal-Mart?
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVlhMGQgDkY

      • h4rr4r

        Atlas is way more complicated than manufacturing robots. He might eventally take stocking jobs, but his cousins are ready to work today. I know of a company that moved hundreds of jobs from China to the USA where they hired tens of people and robots do the actual assembly.

        • yyyaz

          If I were a Trumpaloonian entrepreneur, I’d sign them up for Mechanical Health Insurance. Then unionize the bots.

  • Astraea
    • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

      I can’t and don’t want to see Trump doing that

      • sw19tacotruck

        Surrounded by loads of happy multicultural crowd inviting him to dance with them? Nope I can’t see that either.

      • Astraea

        I tried to link a gif of Trump swaying at that church but Disqus didn’t like it. You can thank the internet for saving you.

        • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

          and, lo, the internet gods smiled upon me today

    • Panika MCD

      I nominate you to do a “Stop! Hillary Time!” comment series.

      • Astraea

        lol!

  • SayItWithWookies

    Those aren’t the numbers Trump is interested in — he’s hoping to get filthy-ass rich selling off pieces of America and helping himself to a modest commission.

  • jesuswasablack

    “Trump introduced his economic plan last week”

    Now I have 5,000 shares of Beefsteak
    Mines in Leapfrog, Nevada that I want to turn over to your bank…Now these
    shares are selling for 10 cents a share…Naturally you’re no dunce…If 5
    will get you 10, 10 will get you twenty, 16 cylinder cars, a big home in the
    city, balconies upstairs and down, home in the country, big trees, private
    golf course, stream running through the rear of the estate, warm Sunday afternoons
    fishing under the cool trees, sipping ice cold beer.

    Gosh it’s gonna be great!

    https://envisioningtheamericandream.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/american-dream-post-war-abundance-swscan00536-copy.jpg

  • chascates

    Cutting taxes on the wealthy has never accomplished anything other than make the wealthy wealthier. That the Republican base, composed mainly of unwealthy individuals, continue to fall for this reveals how a fool and someone else’s money are soon parted.

    • Alan

      Yep. If I had to choose one single thing for causing most economic problems….

  • Bitter Scribe

    nearly all of the money will be in the hands of celebutantes who have no need to create jobs or do any innovation or anything other than occasionally being celebrity DJs and having their own reality shows.

    Paris Hilton would like a word with you, Robyn.

  • Joe Beese

    So, 200 million Yahoo email accounts got hacked, and they’re now up for sale for the price of $1,800. Which works out to each email account being worth about .000009 cents, or nine-millionth of a penny. The price demanded for info from widespread data breaches like this is usually pretty low, but this is rock-bottom pricing. In early September, info from 68.7 million Dropbox accounts was being sold for two bitcoins, or about $1,200, which works out to .000017 cents per account — about double what a Yahoo account can fetch. Your Yahoo ID is worth virtually nothing.

    http://nymag.com/selectall/2016/09/the-only-reason-to-still-use-yahoo-is-for-your-garbage.html

    It was actually 500 million accounts, so the value is even lower than that.

    • data_ninja

      The big score these days is cross referencing accounts. Trying to pick out names of possible known people, and hoping that they reused passwords (assuming that password data is in there and not strongly encrypted) to try and get into social media, bank accounts, or other things. But yeah, the rest of the accounts are probably just chaff.

      • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

        My yahoo account is full of viagra spam, at least it was 5 years ago which was the last time I checked it.

        • data_ninja

          If your yahoo account gets spammed for more than four hours…

  • Antonin Dvorak
    • TJ Barke

      She wants to seize the means of production and do away with capitalist exploitation?

      • Antonin Dvorak

        If only.

      • yyyaz

        Thanks for writing that; it felt so good for just a nanosecond when I read it.

    • Joe Beese

      Donald J. Trump has a different approach. He divides America into winners and losers. And he doesn’t seem to spend much time worrying about people in poverty. In fact, his economic plans would overwhelmingly benefit the wealthiest Americans, and would include an estimated $4 billion tax cut for his own family just by eliminating the estate tax.

      And they said he wasn’t a real Republican!

      • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

        Romney’s ears perk up, and he says, “did you hear that?”

  • sw19tacotruck
    • yyyaz

      I see Herr Weasel on stage getting his left shoulder completely into his rectum while beginning to insert his right hand as he frantically searches for his head.

    • yyyaz

      Got any good lawyerin’ or doctorin’ jobs up there? I’ll probably be living there soon even if I have to live in a tent in the woods with the grizz and moose.

    • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

      know anyone who wants to get hitched?
      just asking, just in case
      might as well start now

    • sw19tacotruck
      • Rick Hill

        I think that was done because the city didn’t pick it up for a while and one thing led to another.

      • oh my god i love canadians so much. (in the interests of full disclosure which our media is beneath: i am 1/2 canadian and my canadian mother insists the ONLY thing canadian about me is my sense of the absurd. hence, wonkette).

    • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

      peameal bacon is all I need to know
      I did have it once, in Windsor.
      and now I has sads

      • anna rampage

        Nothing more than pork loin ham that happens to be super easy to make…

        I make this all the time and it’s quite lovely!

        http://ruhlman.com/2011/02/canadian-bacon-brining-basics/

        • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

          ok fine. this is a recipe blog
          so here is my fave pulled pork
          I’ve done this several times, it always comes out fantastic”
          http://www.kevinandamanda.com/perfect-pulled-pork-slow-roasted-seasoned-savory/

          • Jonny On Maui

            I guess if you don’t have a smoker or a weber-like device an oven will do…

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            12 hours in the oven makes a mighty tender piece of carcass
            plus, I would grill for at least 4 hours on normal steaks (at 230F) just because I would be playing ball.
            I can’t have a grill where I’m at

          • Jonny On Maui

            Does in a smoker too!

          • Shannanigans

            I just realized it’s been over a year since I had steak. I have a really nice BBQ grill on my back deck and the only thing that’s happened to it in the past year is the weather.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Heretic!

          • Shannanigans

            Well, my X used to be a professional grill chef whatever person at a restaurant so I always let him do the meat-and-fire food thing. The only time he abdicated was when I wanted to cook some halibut and salmon I brought back from the fish market in Seattle. I bought a grill basket and OWNED it. But I’m still not brave enough to do chicken or steaks on the thing.

            Fuck. I want a steak SO bad right now.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Shan, if I was there I’d fire up your grill and teach you just how easy grilled steak is. It’s actually easier than chicken.

          • Shannanigans

            I just do chicken seared in the pan or baked in the oven now. Grills scare me. Steak is sorcery. Last time I tried to do anything unsupervised on the grill, it all fell through the bottom and tried to set the deck on fire.

          • Jonny On Maui

            {sigh}

          • Shannanigans

            But I can happily spend all afternoon making Indian food, so…

          • Shannanigans

            I have to get one of those canister thingies first….

          • anna rampage

            I mean addicted to my grill to the point where you’ll find my out on the coldest, dankest day in Portland grilling something up

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            In the snow and rain, all dressed up and playing ball with the pup
            that was my Sunday

          • Vienna Woods

            We use our bbq all winter. Snow does not stop us.

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            rahmen

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            I used to have a very nice Canadian grill I bought 7 years ago
            *sobs*

          • Shannanigans

            I’d mail it to you if I could.

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            rules about open flames on wooden balconies
            :(

          • Shannanigans

            Poop. Is there a common area? The apartment thingies I’m looking at right now have common areas where BBQ-ing can happen.

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            yeah, but they have their own grills
            sorta like parks

          • anna rampage

            Only as long as it’s a tough fatty cut like pork shoulder or chuck roast…

            GOd forbid you try that with a pork loin, or tri tip

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            boston pork butt

          • anna rampage

            Yep, that’s a lovely chuck of meat!

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            that’s what she…
            no, I just can’t

          • Shannanigans

            HAHA! You just did!

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            dammit
            foiled again

          • Jonny On Maui

            Brisket…

          • anna rampage

            Yep, I’ve even read tricks about smoking in the oven using a roasting pan and foil

    • Vienna Woods

      Heh. My trucker husband is on the 401 all day, every day. Child’s play (I hate the 401 and will take almost any back road to avoid it. Yes, he thinks I’m a pussy).

      • I don’t drive so when i take Via, i point and laugh

    • Vienna Woods

      And OF COURSE you say thank you both times!!

  • Blacktop Cadence

    OT, but it’s kinda funny. Came out to my last close friend via text.

    His response: “Cool.” 10 seconds later: “Heard the new Bouncing Souls yet?”

    • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

      they’re still around!?!!

      • sw19tacotruck

        Close friends?

        • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

          I think I saw them once, a long long time ago
          in a galaxy… no, in KC

      • Blacktop Cadence

        Yup, they just released a new album on the 16th. :-D

        • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

          shit
          the cd in the car is the fugazi album I bought in ’94 so…damn

          • Blacktop Cadence

            Haha, wow. I tend to buy Bouncing Souls albums like I buy toothpaste. It’s automatic at this point. :-)

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            I am at least 3 albums behind in Dropkick Murphys now
            I just can’t keep up.
            maybe now that all I have to do is keep me happy I can do so

          • Blacktop Cadence

            You know, there are worse things being in your cd player than an awesome band like Fugazi. Got all of their stuff too. :-D

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            saw them live in KC in ’93. In on the kill taker tour. I just bought the album and that’s what’s in my car. they stopped the show to get the mosh pit to stop. $5 a ticket. best show ever

            and that’s with the reverend horton heat/Motorhead show for $15

    • Shannanigans

      Came out as what? A furry? A Johnson supporter? A “Real Housewives of Kokomo” fan? There are so many options.

      • Blacktop Cadence

        I identify as a polyamorous transhumanist kiddie pool.

        Nah, I’m transgender. Gonna be a while before I can fully transition, but on HRT and all. :-)

        • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

          i’m glad that it didn’t cause that much of a ruckus?
          I just don’t know
          did they know all along?
          I’ve never actually done that.
          Hello, my name is Corey and I’d like to let you all know that I’m straight.
          I just can’t put myself in your shoes so I don’t know how to react to that. Or how you reacted.

          • Blacktop Cadence

            Most knew. I actually tried this whole thing once (seriously) and a couple of other times. Last time was 25, I was in grad school, and I’m 34 now and starting a new career.

            My problems were all with my family. Got a lot of nastiness from my parents at 25 and I just sorta fell apart.

            Friends have been nothing but supportive, and kind of intervened for me to give it another serious attempt because I’m a miserable bastard to be around. :-D

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            trust me, this group has been nothing but supportive to me and the little mess I’ve been going through. I can assume they’ll do the same for you.
            well, I can say that for one of them.
            good on you.

          • Blacktop Cadence

            Wonkette? They’re pretty amazing people. Wish I had begun posting much earlier now.

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            so do I

          • Shannanigans

            You’ll be fine here.

          • Dee Andee
          • much love and many good wishes. if you’re in CHI come to drink debate thingee on monday and we can all clutch pearls and pound wine in sheer terror.

        • Shannanigans

          I hope you have a good support system around you that involves a good mix of friends, family, physicians, and social groups. I’m glad I have all that available nearby for my daughter even in this deep red state we live in.

          • Blacktop Cadence

            I do, to a degree. Good friends, but we’re mostly spread out, and I’m likely packing and moving halfway across the country myself next year (Illinois is lousy for teaching jobs right now). Trying out the local support group, and they’re all cool, but it takes time, y’know?

            Really good therapist, awesome endocrinologist, and my decidedly Muslim GP has not chosen to throw me off the roof. In fact, he’s also very supportive. :-)

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            what do you teach?

          • Blacktop Cadence

            High school social studies. Well, I will eventually.

            Illinois is flat on it’s ass broke and only one job prospect in driving distance, so I’m subbing, moving my license to few states (the criteria be anti-discrimination and covered trans medical insurance) since it looks like I’m going to have to relocate anyway.

            Right now I sub most days, though only afternoons and nights two of those days. Actually, it’s good money considering it’s glorified babysitting. I sat through the first hour of Robin Hood (the Russell Crowe version) 4 times yesterday. That sucked.

          • Vienna Woods

            When I retired I swore I would never supply teach. Strength, my friend.

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            good luck
            My best friend’s wife teaches math at the 7-8th grade level.
            oh, and robin hood?
            ewwww

          • Jonny On Maui

            It’s a better love story than Twilight…

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            ummm, let’s call it a draw.

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            no joke, I had a girl call in a request for the Bryan Adam’s song from that movie claiming it was from me.
            and they all made sure we were in the same house when it came on.
            kudos for planning, but holy hell.

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            this is the one I meant to reply to
            dammit

          • The DeplorableDemmeVagenda

            The Kevin Costner vanity project/movie is much more entertaining.
            It’s like everyone thinks they’re in a different film. Of course, Kevin Costner takes it seriously (to hilarious effect), but the late, great Alan Rickman thinks he’s in a Panto.

            (7-8th grade is brutal! My sympathies.)

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            I was 17, and she was 14, maybe 15
            yes, I got right the hell out of there

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            crap, I am totally replying to the wrong post
            shit

          • Jonny On Maui

            gigglesnort! And I’m the one with the bong…

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            don’t make me fly out there

          • Jonny On Maui

            How are you at jungle taming?

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            don’t tease
            I swear to dog…

          • I Only Like Cats

            Too bad you couldn’t watch Men in Tights. If you end up in Washington I’m sure plenty of us would welcome you with open arms (OK, so some of our arms are filled with weed, but not all of us!)

          • Shannanigans

            That’s so good to hear! I have a trans friends whose stories are…not so good.

    • The DeplorableDemmeVagenda

      I’m pretty sure that my two daughters would do the same.
      Sometimes, it’s a wonderful world.

      • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

        sometimes there is beauty in all the ugliness

    • TJ Barke

      Ugh, they’re so pedestrian…

      • Blacktop Cadence

        *shakes fist* :-D

    • BrianW

      That is a true friend. You need to keep them.

    • Spotts1701

      If more people were like your friend, the world would be much better.

    • Land Shark with a Vagenda

      Sounds like the right kind of close friend.

  • btwbfdimho

    Mr. Trump, look at these numbers and tell me: is the country going in the right or wrong direction?
    http://www.usdebtclock.org/

    • TJ Barke

      Yeah, but see, the debt won’t really go up, because he always wins.

    • Wild Cat

      That’s propaganda set up by the odious and murderous Durst Family in NYC.

  • Wild Cat

    I myself have always found poverty and bankruptcy to be the apex of the American Dream, especially in the intellect department.

  • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

    Hey guys, how is it going tonight?!!

    Rebecca’s post has slowed down. Need more chum!

    http://i.giphy.com/GazPMD1iWfgcM.gif

    • Jonny On Maui

      Doing good Jenny, How about you?

      • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

        It is almost FRIDAY! Also it is going to rain and cool down for at least a week or two. HUZZAH!

    • Spotts1701

      We got a big enough boat for ’em all?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67p4hS6vyD8

    • Let me guess: I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT “SEXUAL AGENCY MEANS. WONKETTE IS PRO-RAPE. MUST TROLL WONKETTE!”?

      • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

        With a little bit of HITLERY IS EVIL 1% CORRUPT!

        • Spotts1701

          Nothing that tops the dude who tried to rationalize AngryKatie being spit on. Nothing.

          • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

            WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DRESS LIKE A PERSON WITH A JOB ANGRYKATIE?!?!

      • Shannanigans

        Wait, what? Who is doing THAT?

        • Oh, I just assumed it was yesterday’s Weiner post. But, there might be some tells over in today’s millennial post, too, I guess…

          • Shannanigans

            I didn’t go there. Been busy at work. Any week with a 25th of the month near it is insane for me now.

  • Vagendadentacohontas

    OT: Anyone else hear that Yoko Ono broke up the Beatles AND the Clintons in the 70’s? True story. I heard it at the bud stop that it was in the internets.

    • Panika MCD

      does bud stop refer to weed or beer?

      • Vagendadentacohontas

        Freudian (and autocorrect) slip…but it works both ways. Kinda like that Kenyan, dope smoking muslin, who may or may not have been an extra at a key party with John Lennon, Yoko Ono, and the Clintons… it’s just what some people are saying…

  • anwisok

    Well, look at that. Polls plus forecast at 538 went up for Hill again today. Yesterday was 58.6/41.x for Hillary, now 59.9/40.1. I did not expect that kind of change two days in a row.

    • Spotts1701

      The polls that were taken when Hillary was recovering from illness (and out of the public eye) are starting to drop out as newer polls come in.

      • Shannanigans

        Yes, please.

      • I Only Like Cats

        What that tells me, is people see Trump’s fascism and think, “Maybe not, spoiled orange frappucino Hitler, maybe not”.

    • Land Shark with a Vagenda

      Wait, wait, wait. Trump is doing better & better! It’s a horse race!

      Stop-and-frisk furor exposes idiocy of Trump’s critics

      • Spotts1701

        “The judge was biased! Therefore it’s not unconstitutional!”

        They seem to have forgotten that the Second Circuit Court of Appeals did boot the judge off the case, but did not vacate her decision.

        • anwisok

          Details. Mere details. *waves hand languidly*

  • Iam Reading

    200 is biggerer than 3.5, orders of magnitude be damned!!!!!!11!!eleven

  • Land Shark with a Vagenda
  • BadKitty904

    OK, Disqus is so badly fucked I can’t commnt at all. I’ll chat with you guys if/when Wonkette is functioning again.

    • Land Shark with a Vagenda

      The whole Wonkette had a major “episode” today …. nothing was working AT ALL for about an hour.

      Withdrawal was painful.

      • Sister Artemis

        should up the subscriptions ;)

    • data_ninja

      I noticed some things going on yesterday, although not necessarily related to disqus. Methinks some CSS is being tweaked. I noticed that scrolling up in the non-comment section no longer brings up that banner at the top. Also, the block quote font is different in the articles. OR IS IT???

      • Jonny On Maui

        Cripes! I forgot what color pill I took!

        • data_ninja

          Those were jelly beans…

          • anwisok

            Not Skittles?

          • Land Shark with a Vagenda

            Lack of melanin.

        • Suttree

          It wasn’t a pill it was a small piece of paper that had Bart Simpson on it.

          • I Only Like Cats

            Actually it was ecstasy. I didn’t want you to worry!

          • Suttree

            I barely remember those days……..

          • Jonny On Maui

            Ecstasy is one of the few drugs I haven’t done.

          • Vagendadentacohontas

            I took 1/2 of something once, on New Years, many years after my Phish following days…left the party at 12:30, dosed at the hotel and watched cable until 2. I may have not done it right.

        • John Smith

          One pill makes you larger…

    • Señor Skwerl

      Send me dick pics on Twitter
      @carlosdanger

      • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

        that is now my cat’s name

        • Shannanigans

          dick pics on Twitter?

          • Suttree

            My cat’s names have always been Hey!, Look at my butt!, or George.

          • anna rampage

            I call my cats “chicken head”….

          • Suttree

            Are they dodging things thrown at them? Or…….

          • anna rampage

            No, chicken kind of rhymes with kitten, and chicken head sounds funny!

          • Suttree

            I guess you have never heard of what a chicken head is. It is a thing that urban dictionary will have.

          • anna rampage

            You must understand, the queen ( the one as my avatar) has a full title.

            Ms Zelda (aka Scooter the moo shu pork kitty)

            and then there’s

            Ms Frida Kahtlo otherwise know as killer, or Frito kitty

          • Suttree

            Haha! That’s awesome!

          • anna rampage

            Frida is an insanely agile awesome mouser, while Zelda is certainly the clumsy queeny princess.

            Frida sleeps on the pillow next to my head, while Zelda climbs under the covers and likes to be spooned

          • Suttree

            My stuffed moose is named Teddy Moosevelt.

          • Land Shark with a Vagenda

            One of ours is a shelter cat from a sister & brother pair. He is named “Teddy” and she is “Roosevelt.”

            And that’s Mistress Roosevelt to you, peon human servant.

          • Suttree

            Meow meow meow meow meow! Purrrrrrr

          • Suttree

            Here is Teddy riding off into the sunset for those of you who have not seen it. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f8926eaaa1e7f8a9536598ef26390ed8d4c3450ca1b630ba16f4695d07ffdffa.jpg

          • Suttree

            Awww Kitty pies!

          • Suttree

            After I got messed up in a mugging, my step mother told me that I looked like a Frida painting. She is an artist.

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            DPOT for short
            no, Karlos “taco trucks” Danger

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            wait, what have you seen?
            no, that probably wasn’t me

          • Shannanigans

            You’re fine, that’s never been in my search parameters.

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            I could tell by the way you didn’t LOL

    • Suttree

      My Wonkette would only give me yesterday’s posts last night. You know what I mean! Posts from the 20th.

  • Panika MCD

    OT – What did you learn at school House Elections today?

    concerning the local petition process PLANO EDITION
    Plano did two things that some people who lived there don’t like so much. one was adding BLTs sexual orientation and gender identity to their nondiscrimination ordinance. the other was to have the gall to enact some city planning measures. for the first, they got in touch with the petitioners as soon as they noticed that there were problems with their petition forms, but got only crickets for a response (which I will explain later) and so their petitions were rejected because they didn’t follow the rules. the second they got a “thank you” from the campaign against with the rules reminders (though they still didn’t have the line for county nor did they make sure that people weren’t putting their birthdays in the date of signature box) and a “gfy” for the part where the city attorney (who everyone thinks has the last name Simms, but really has the last name Mims) told them that she was pretty sure city planning fell outside the petition process–because it does.

    Rep. Fallon just made a funny about conspiracy theorists and referenced Sysiphus in the same breath. good show. can I get a golf clap here?
    http://media3.giphy.com/media/6dJaim7ELSxmE/giphy.gif
    I was truly impressed.

    Rep. Schofield had a hard time this hearing because he wants LAW&ORDER, but not if it means you can’t defeat the icky ghey. and he also can’t say that because…

    Rep. Israel did come today (yay! unicorns!), but Fmr. Rep. Maxey did not (boo, no rainbows!). here she is the day she was Speaker for a Day (which is a thing they do in the interim):
    https://annieslist.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Screen-Shot-2015-08-12-at-3.43.19-PM.png
    anyway, back to the hearing. Rep. Israel said, “It seems to me that you can’t legislate food communcation.”

    Ms. Citizen Petitioner thinks that all this stuff is a “grave injustice”. she should be able to overturn an ordinance any time she wants without having to “raise an army of petition gatherers” because aparently there are 0 citizens organizations in Plano. (something tells me this is not really the case.) she also doesn’t understand how she can attach a copy of the ballot measure to the petition because she seems to be unaware that paper has TWO SIDES. (yeah, I know, an evil commie environmentalist who is all gay for the Human Rights Campaign like I am would suggest they put something on the virgin backside of a petition.) she would also like to note that NO ONE EVER GOT EMAILS FROM MS. MIMS (except they did, but the emails went to their spam boxes which they didn’t notice until way after the fact).

    Mr. Citizen Petitioner said even though their forms were all wrong (and their attorney was a shirbird who said they were right), the city should have had to check EVERY SINGLE PAGE to make sure they were all right. it’s not like City Staff has anything better to do. and if they won’t do it, then the state should make a BRAND NEW AGENCY to do it because we’re not facing a budget shortfall now, ARE WE?!

    then TML and Rep. Israel made funny jokes about the Luber Proposition in Austin.

    this is only about the 5th time I’ve heard that Andy “I defeated HERO” Taylor thinks that the city should pay him if he wins a lawsuit against them because “the citizens shouldn’t have to pay”. they will give a law degree to damn near anyone these days. he’d also please like 180 days or more to collect signatures AND if we could count all the ILLEGIBLE ones that are IN CRAYON, that would be MORE FREEDOMY!

    Peggy “I’m not with Americans for Prosperity even though I’m still on the Payroll” always seems like she’s been hitting the sauce. today was no different. she would like to be able to correct the petitions if they’re done wrong. I get the part where they should be able to get the people that circulated them to go visit the notary on this one, but I don’t get the part where they should get extra time to gather petitions if they don’t have enough. like I said: ALWAYS SAUCED,

    Pastor “I will root out EROs wherever they may be!” Welch was back and he thinks that the Plano ERO should be overturned on grounds that it was passed by council IN DECEMBER, Y’ALL! and as we all know DECEMBER IS FOR THE CHURCHES! no one works in December. except those heathens in Austin who passed regulations on the TNCs for Xmas last year.

    Pastor Welch also said that it is UNFAIR to count in-kind donations from the church under the “you’re tax exempt so you don’t get to do the politics” thing. it’s not like they spent money or anything. (except for the part where they do buy shit like printed stuff and juice boxes for the block walkers.) in fact, isn’t Citizens United about CHURCHES? that’s what Pastor Welch thinks. and both Schofield and Laubenberg (who is the chair of the goddamn committee) agree that in-kind donations should not count. like I said, they’re not mean, they’re DUMBS.

    Bonds, School Bonds
    this message is brought to you by TML: we put the information in the papers, on the government buildings, in the polling locations, on the radios, on the teevees! there are only 100 words on the E-Slate ballots before you need a new page, could you please not fuck with us? pretty please?

    Rep. Fallon wants everything to be on the November ballot. because that’s a good way to pay for things? nope. it’ll just increase the use of certificates of obligation that the taxpayers won’t have to sign off on. and then he said, “I’m all for local control unless the locals get out of control.” (could this be a reference to use trying to put in rainbow crosswalks? MAYBE. but it’s probably about paying for shit we need that he doesn’t want to pay for.)

    Georgetown ISD has a nice CFO for it being in Williamson Co. and he thinks it’s swell that they created the novel idea of letting people vote anywhere in the county on E-Day 2 years ago! (we started it 5 years ago in Travis.) but he is nice.

    there are people holding elections in their garages on cardboard boxes? is this really a thing anywhere? I have Dana, so I wouldn’t know whether this is true or not.

    Saucy Peggy is back to say that voters are too stupid to understand what a bond is, so they should just call it a tax increase.

    Rep. Goldman talked some good words about how bonds should be split up into needs and wants because he doesn’t really think it’s right that a jumbotron gets put in a bond that is also paying for things that the school actually needs. I agree with this notion. Saucy Peggy DOES NOT because she keeps losing her purse under the stands. I’m pretty sure that keeping track of your purse is one of those things that the AFP should file under PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY, but I guess you have to have priorities and those priorities include taxpayer funded jumbotrons so she doesn’t lose her purse.

    no, TPPF*, the people voting for bonds in Austin are not pricing themselves out of their homes. the manipulation of the “equal and fair” principal by large business interest times our inability to evaluate that because you guys scream PROPRIETARY INFORMATION when we ask to see what you paid for a property has artificially increased property values in an area where the values are already increasing because we are freakin’ cool so everyone wants to live here. that’s what’s pricing people out of their homes. things that you support.
    *TPPF = Texas Public Policy Foundation which is a right wing think tank started by Talmadge Heflin (who is like what would happen if you took Trumples current body and squished it in a vice so that it was only 5 ft. tall) and they redid the front of their building so that it looked like the Austin Club

    rise and shine, Keith
    so remember how I said we weren’t going to talk about voter ID? we weren’t. it wasn’t on the agenda. this last part was to monitor bills passed last year, but they talked about voter ID instead.

    let’s clear up the affidavit thing ONE MORE TIME: we all sign an affidavit when we go vote. ALL OF US. not just in TX. when you walk into the polls and they say, please sing here next to the sticker with your name or you sign the bottom of your VBM ballot? that is the affidavit. we all sign it. otherwise they ask us to leave. when they’re talking about signing an affidavit, they’re saying you get to color in an extra box on that form. that’s it.

    the new affidavit has a box that you fill out if you have a reasonable impediment to having an ID. the election judge cannot question or qualify your reason. they have to let you vote with whatever you brought with you that is not one of the IDs passed by law unless you say that yoou don’t have a reasonable impediment. (yes, trying to go across town to get it out of the jeans you wore yesterday during rush hour on E-Day counts as a reasonable impediment if you say you have one.) if you say that, you can provide any other form of ID like a student ID or a utility bill or the GD Voter Registration Card you got that seems to be useless (it’s not, bring it with you, it makes it easier to look you up in the system).

    if you screw up and say you have the ID, but it’s not with you ATM? you can cast a provisional ballot and have until the 6th day after the election to take it down to the clerk to get it counted as a regular one.

    the photo IDs that are accepted can now be expired by as much as 4 years as opposed to 60 days.

    how do we know if all the election judges got the memo? inspired by Rep. Israel earlier, Keith says, “Now you see why I don’t sleep much these days because we can send out the materials, but we can’t make sure they’re read.” but, yes, they have changed all their materials to reflect the judge’s language and will never listen to Ken Paxton about anything ever again, thank you!

    BU-BU-BU-BUUUUT! Schofield wants to know how we’re going to be able to cancel out bogus votes. answer: you can’t unless the election is close enough to trigger a recall. BBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUTTTTT! how will they know which ones to ban next time? and Keith, who really knows how to end a hearing on a funny note, is all, “oh, YOU WILL KNOW! we already did 2 special elections and someone put down as their reasonable impediment ‘FASCIST LAW’.”

    and you thought I wasn’t going to subject you to a photo of Heflin. THOUGHT WRONG!
    https://i.ytimg.com/vi/_OskT7zHuSs/maxresdefault.jpg

    • Land Shark with a Vagenda

      MY EYES! Did NOT need to see his “O Face”!!!!

      • Panika MCD
        • Land Shark with a Vagenda

          AND JUST WHERE ARE HIS HANDS??!!?!??!??

          • Panika MCD

            don’t worry. he’s got too much girth to reach anything below his own belt.

          • Land Shark with a Vagenda

            So there’s an intern down there searching for …. uh …. the “treasure?”

          • Panika MCD

            I believe TPPF refers to them as “fellows”

          • Panika MCD

            would it make you feel better if I gave you a nice times?

        • Jen B_VA

          That makes up for it. A little.
          As always WOW.
          Why is this not like….a regular feature someplace? This stuff you got is amazing. Some of it makes me chuckle, some of it makes me cringe, all of it is good information

          • Panika MCD

            I don’t have an agent?

          • Jen B_VA

            I could be yer agent. I would only charge like 98% too, also, so totes fair!
            What’s an agent do again?

          • Panika MCD

            IDK. but if you figure it out, you can have 99% so that I can be the 1%.

          • Jen B_VA

            I think that is probably putting me in unredeemed grifter territory. But…if you want it that way….*whistles*

    • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

      Awww I like Celia. I lived in her district and voted for her and was totes excited she won. Now I’m in Farney’s district and dear god her re-election mailers…. ARGH!!

      • Panika MCD

        oh, we should totally do some craft time on those mailers. are you coming to Scholz on Monday for the debate watch party?

  • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

    Of course Trump doesn’t think increasing the national debt by trillions of dollars is that big a deal! HE’S in debt for – oh, let’s say a billion. 1 billion x 330 million people is – let’s see, carry the one – only 330 quadrillion dollars! No problem, right? 24.5 trillion is way less than that!

    • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

      Gingrich is going to be upset that we can’t build his moon base now.
      Naah, just kidding.
      He’s still trying to fend off his wife.
      http://www.iywib.com/newt_gingrich_wife_91.jpg

      • Land Shark with a Vagenda

        “One L” Michele’s training coach?

        • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

          she wishes

        • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))
          • Land Shark with a Vagenda

            Does she hire out for Halloween parties? Who needs decorations when you have Callista?

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            say her name 3 times in front of a mirror
            and have some mimosas handy

          • Land Shark with a Vagenda

            For me or her? Not sure even silver bullets would help ….

          • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

            her
            you’ll need some straight whiskey
            strong stuff
            and a chainsaw, just in case

          • Land Shark with a Vagenda

            and large cord of wooden stakes votes.

          • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

            That’s a fine lookin’ lady zombie right there…yowzah!

      • Me not sure
        • Land Shark with a Vagenda

          That’s the New Wife.

        • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

          Newt does like his fresh scrambled eggs in the morning…

          “Straight out of my body and onto your plate! Yeeauuh!”

      • anna rampage

        Um, I think her physician needs to cut back the dose on her Ritalin…

        • Land Shark with a Vagenda

          “I’ll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!”

      • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

        I wish to Christ the vinyl of my car dash was as finely grained as the plastic of Callista’s face. That’s some quality material right there.

        • Land Shark with a Vagenda

          Naugahyde … it’s the new facial!

        • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

          but where would you put the crazy eyes?

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        …A pioneering homesteader of Uncanny Valley.

        • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

          That, right there. You are gonna go places

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            That’s what that Seuss fella said!

      • Daisy

        Her hair looks like it could slice my arm off.

      • Vagendadentacohontas

        You GUYS!!??!!11!1!! This is all so mean!!! And precise. If only there were a Nasty Vile Little Snark Mob somewhere who could eviscerate this broad with comments.

    • Panika MCD

      but I thought that was all OPM?

    • Brian

      You know who else doesn’t think increasing the debt is a big deal? Friend of the Wonkette, Charlie Pierce. And I agree with him. Like FDR during the depression, increasing the debt to put people to work is not a bad idea. Trump’s problem is not that he’s increasing the debt. It’s how he’s doing it.

      • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

        I suspect even John Maynard Keynes would have blanched at Trump’s numbers.

      • Jen B_VA

        I think it might be with the size of the increase over time, also. I mean, increasing the debt isn’t a big deal- unless you triple it in the first month (caution, hyperbole! It is actually like 2 months).

  • mailman27

    I’ve had all I can stands and I can’t stands no more! Where’s my spinachk?

  • Spotts1701

    I think this guy gets it: Nate Silver says I should be nervous about the election. Here’s why I’m not too nervous.

    In this way, the very tightening of the race prevents Trump from
    winning. There is a bevy of voters who are not jazzed by Clinton but are
    petrified by a Trump presidency. Once polls start to show that it’s
    close, they will decide to vote for Clinton or say so in a poll. When
    the lead expands, they get more complacent and disaffected by Clinton’s
    flaws.

    The last major moment endogenous to the campaign, when Trump can
    overtake Clinton, is the debates. And I think Clinton’s extensive
    debating experience, combined with her recent one-on-one debates with
    Sen. Bernie Sanders of Vermont, leaves her far better prepared than
    Trump.

    • Land Shark with a Vagenda

      My cats are better prepared than Trump. Bigger hands, also too.

      • Shoto

        Kitteh Overlords for Preznit of US America!

    • Panika MCD

      he really needs new headline writers.

    • Shoto

      The wild card on the debates is whether the moderators will choose to do their jobs, or allow themselves to be steamrolled by the unhinged orange man-baby. The only tools Drumpf has are lying and bluster. It is the responsibility of the mods to call him out every time he tries it. No exceptions.

      • Jen B_VA

        I am calling it here and now: If the mods do NOT fluff him good, he will refuse further debates.

        • (((cynmac)))

          Hell, I thought Trump would have quit by now.

          • Jen B_VA

            I figured he would take it as far as he could; if indeed this entire thing has been for grift- to live off someone else’s money (donations) pay off his debts (those he does not ignore and with other donations) and get the press to not ardently cover all his very illegal shinanigans (because both sides do it!).

  • (((yugemancityfootyhands)))

    Ok, it is 9, and I will be back here at 5 am, so no grief!
    I am actually looking forward to my first weekend wonking (that is not a spelling error) at my new place.
    party at my place this weekend!!!! whooo!!!
    and please, bring beer and whiskey
    g’night all
    sweet dreams

    • Jonny On Maui

      Good night!

    • anna rampage

      Good night and sweet dreams back at ya!

    • Panika MCD

      but whiskey while working is my job!

      good luck.

  • Me not sure

    OT : Charlotte looks more peaceful tonight. In Tulsa in 1921 an aerial bombardment of the black business district ( the only time any government in the US has bombed it’s own people from the air) ended riots that left 300 people buried in a mass grave. Things would be that bad today if some folks thought that they could get away with it. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/15a5988a634886ea5ecd5778f7196afa46d2f99d87d95463cd93b1863f1fef4f.jpg

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Not to argue your basic point, but there was that one time…

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MOVE

      • Jen B_VA

        As horrendously awful as that was, I do not think it is really comparable.
        MOVE was horrendous, but it wasn’t the US government, it was the Philly PD (who also targeted those investigating them for said horrendous action).

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          You’re right, it’s not comparable. I meant only to address the statement that Tulsa 1921 was “the only time any government in the US has bombed its own people from the air”.

          • Jen B_VA

            that is what I mean. What the PD did was not government, it was more rogue agency declaring themselves above the law XD
            Now I was a young when it happened but I do recall the city and the PD going to fisticuffs over it and turned out the PD had no authority to make said action but did it anyway because cult who once killed an officer. AKA, revenge.

            Edit: I could be misremembering things OR not being objective enough having been there, and inundated by the coverage.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Oh, okay. I wasn’t drawing a strong distinction between the Philly PD and the city government.

          • Jen B_VA

            you can tell me if I am being too literal again. I do that…a lot. Plus no filter from brain to fingers.
            Makes for fun random posts but probably a lil too much retrospection

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            No no, you remember more details of the incident than I do.

      • Me not sure

        Man, I’d forgotten about that.

    • Vagendadentacohontas

      Thank you! I know what will be keeping me up tonight. History…sigh.

  • Daisy

    OT: Seriously, I would’ve rather had my GSI and Professor not tell us that the grades are supposed to come in tonight, so I wouldn’t have stressed so much.

    • Jen B_VA

      You will learn this on your own in short order, but being a mom as I am I feel inclined to step in with unsolicited advice all the same: Stressing over grades coming in is futile precisely because there is not a thing you can do about said grade between turning in test/paper/project and receiving said grade.
      Unsolicited advice time: Do your very best. Then go do something else and forget about it until grades come in. If you feel you can do better, ask -humbly!- what you can do better (if test score, tutors are good, student union is a good source for those!). Try again the next time.

      That has been my mom post of the night. Remember to tip your waiter, they’re a kinky bunch like that.

      PS: I am sure you did wonderfully!

      • Sister Artemis

        As a fellow mom and also ex- fellow student, definitely listen to Auntie Jen, Daisy.

      • Daisy

        Thanks, I need that reminder pretty frequently. To whine about something stupid now, to take my mind off things, I haven’t seen guy I like all day, and that makes me a little sad. I don’t think I normally see him on Thursdays, though.

        • Jen B_VA

          It is not whining, any of it :hugs. Checks to make sure you have clean socks and a scarf, surreptitiously as moms do:
          I just remember well my first year at school- as it seems Sister Artemis does XD It is an invaluable life skill to be able to let go of the stress on things you cannot immediately rectify- that is not to say ignore them! Because you will probably be able to do something later!- but just for the time being when you can’t do anything I mean.
          Someday I hope to learn it myself.

          • Daisy

            *breathes* I think I’ll see if I can find my Patronus on Pottermore. There’s a test for it now, and I’m so excited!

          • Jen B_VA

            Wait, you can take classes on Harry Potter in collage?

          • Daisy

            No, Pottermore is a Harry Potter website. It’s so much fun!

          • Jen B_VA

            lol I wonder if son two knows about that. I’d never get him off the intertubes.
            He wants to buy a 300$ broom, Daisy. I told him I could get one for him for like 20 bucks but apparently it is not the same.
            I am NOT buying my kid a 300$ broom, sorrynotsorrymeanmom

          • Daisy

            I cannot blame you. That is expensive, and even I, a Harry Potter nerd who plans on annoying crush with the news of the Patronus test as soon as I see him, would never dream of spending that much money on a broom.

          • Jen B_VA

            I mean, it is a broom, you know? He does realize it won’t actually fly, right?

          • Daisy

            I sincerely hope so.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Oh Jen! You’re such a mom! He’ll make it fly…

          • Suttree

            Hopefully not off of the roof.

          • Suttree

            Oh, that kind of broom….. Quietly walks away………

          • Suttree

            I took my mother aside and had her teach me how to do laundry at age 11. I was weird and liked everything folded just right. I’ve let it go a bit over the years. That reminds me I need to do laundry right now!

          • Suttree

            It is a long time life skill. Insert Reinhold Niebuhr quote here.

        • Vagendadentacohontas

          I signed up as campus ambassador to have a good excuse to spend extra time showing cute guys to their classrooms. I’m not sure if that qualifies as a Pro Tip, but I scored lots of extra punches on my coffee shop card having “study sessions” with cute guys who turned out to be brainless.

          • Daisy

            Eh, it’s just the one guy I like right now. He’s sweet. And funny.

          • Vagendadentacohontas

            Funny means everything as far as I’m concerned! If you have to offer to carry his books…well, it’s just an artistic pick-up line.

          • Daisy

            He’s a Harry Potter geek too!

          • Vagendadentacohontas

            Perfect! So his books are heavy ;-)

    • Jonny On Maui

      Listen to your Auntie Jen…

      • Jen B_VA

        I always wanted to be an Auntie ever since I first saw Mame.
        True story: 1958 with R. Russel remains my favorite movie of all time.

        • Dee Andee

          That one’s in my small collection as well! :)

          • Jen B_VA

            It is awesome, is it not? It is shortly followed by Lion in Winter.
            I seem to have a thing for strong female leads who live life according to their own morality despite the societies they spring from.

          • Dee Andee

            Oh gawd, I love that one too! It became even more fun when my son and I discovered we’re descended from practically everyone in that scenario (except I am not descended from Alys, but my son is).

            I haven’t seen the one with Glenn Close, I am eternally loyal to the Katherine Hepburn Eleanor (so far).

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbzcFbhPV-o

          • Vienna Woods

            I really want to play Eleanor.

        • Jonny On Maui

          Well, you’re one now…

        • WomanInAMood

          “Fall off! Auntie Mame, fall off!”

          • Jonny On Maui

            Good evening WomanInAMood! How are our travellers today? What hijinks did our explorers get into?

          • Jen B_VA

            OHHHH yes, update!

          • WomanInAMood

            Good evening, Jonny! I hope you are well this evening.

            Not a lot of hilarity today. We arrived in Austin and sat in traffic; ate a splendid meal at Guero’s (get the chicken tacos!); and then stood on a bridge for two fucking hours waiting for the famous bats to come out. They did not, in fact, do that. It was pleasant for the first hour, or so, with people chatting and a beautiful sunset, but as the bats continued not to fly out from under the bridge, the crowd became a bit sullen.

          • Jonny On Maui

            I am well. I’m also sorry to hear about your batless bridge day even though I’d never think I’d ever write those words.

            I have quit playing one way phone tag with the local plumbers. My contractor assisted in solving my plumber problem. Cash and Kama’aina and it’ll be done tomorrow…

          • WomanInAMood

            “Batless Bridge Day” might be the new name of my emo-reggae band.

            That’s very good news about the plumber problem. Sounds like today went a bit better for you.

        • Vagenda and Tiara

          GREAT movie! Life’s a banquet…

  • Panika MCD

    Things I’d Rather Talk About Than Donald Trump 9/22/16 DUMP

    these people ONE some grants
    the MacArthur prizes were announced today and did they fuck with The Good Old Days of White America? of course they did. but they also answered the question of what we imagine our way of life should be.

    here is Claudia Rankine being a badass:
    http://www.latimes.com/books/jacketcopy/la-et-jc-claudia-rankine-20160921-snap-story.html

    you want some Chinese-American super hero with that? okay:
    http://www.latimes.com/books/jacketcopy/la-et-jc-gene-luen-yang-20160921-snap-story.html

    or we could talk about how music and food as bridges between cultures:
    http://www.latimes.com/books/jacketcopy/la-et-jc-josh-kun-books-20160921-snap-story.html

    ladies in all their splendor:
    http://www.latimes.com/books/jacketcopy/la-et-jc-sarah-stillman-20160921-snap-story.html
    http://www.latimes.com/books/jacketcopy/la-et-jc-lauren-redniss-20160921-snap-story.html
    http://www.latimes.com/books/jacketcopy/la-et-jc-maggie-nelson-20160921-snap-story.html

    admitted felon likes things that rhyme with TWO like “sue” and “DQ”
    we’re not talking about this in Elections today, though we should be. maybe some public testifiers will say something. but they will probably be shut down. anyhow, there’s some more shenangans so you get to look at TX AG and admitted felon Ken Paxton’s face again.

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2016/09/21/texas_voting_rights_state_put_under_court_supervision_for_flouting_id_ruling.html?wpsrc=sh_all_dt_tw_top

    I like the one on the right better.
    http://dallasmorningviewsblog.dallasnews.com/files/2015/08/without-and-with-towel.jpg

    how does one say THREE in popsicl3?
    I had scheduled Between Two Ferns for this one, but it appears that Evan already stole my thunder on that one. and, to be fair, that one was a little about Trumple.

    so I’ll leave you with a much better use of the colors black, white and orange: a panda with a popsicle.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYKT-Yjup9I

    FOURed now.
    too much sad today. reached in the wayback machine for some great instagram fails.

    http://www.boredpanda.com/funny-pinterest-fails/

    how is this guy still FIVE
    remember a week or so ago when that SUV somehow ended up hanging off a parking garage in Austin? so you guys were right that he was “trying to park” and I was wrong. but I was right that we was starting the weekend early.

    now he’s speaking up. and he still can’t really say how this happened:
    http://www.mystatesman.com/news/news/driver-recalls-sheer-terror-of-hanging-off-8-story/nscXQ/

    (though, to be honest, it’s always nice to see Sheila Jackson Lee.)

    Lynne’s voice is S I XXX Y
    here is a poem by Lynne Procope about sad things that keep happening. and it’s on SoundCloud so you can take a break from staring at the computer screen while listening to it.

    https://soundcloud.com/sojournertruthradio/poet-lynne-procope-reads-in-service-of-staying-alive-in-tribute-to-black-men-killed-by-police

    vets in SEVEN
    Veterans Park in College Station, TX (where A&M is) is putting up a bunch of statutes. today they unveiled one for the Buffalo Soldiers and Tonkawa Indians. my friend Cecil Webster* attended. here is a photo he snapped of the guest speakers representing the decendants of both teaching a little girl about things.

    https://scontent-dft4-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14446173_10202213858784114_1566483663726857876_n.jpg?oh=46d680107b34fb66b46d88fa7b009870&oe=587B5F3A

    *Cecil is the awesome former Democratic County Chair for the Fayette Co. (not the KY one, the TX one–so he may not get your dirty Nosario jokes.) now he is running for HD13. on his campaign website you will find photos of him in a goofy hat as well as ones from the Round Top 4th of July Parade (which is the oldest 4th of July parade west of the Mississippi and is in a town that has a population of like 76) and the DNC. you will also find ways to donate, send him love notes or maybe give him a thumbs up on the FacePlant. http://www.websterfortexas.com/ his opponent is a newbee to the lege and I don’t know much about him since I started spending most of my time on the senate side of things. but if you google Leighton Schubert you will see he might be going to the same stylist as the creepy one, but that his suits also seem a bit big.

    • Jonny On Maui

      That was delicious!

    • Jen B_VA

      I cannot express enough how much that photograph is awesome.

    • anwisok

      But, couldn’t you have edited it down to, “Anything.”?

      • Panika MCD

        of course I could. but what fun would that be?

  • Daisy

    OT: Took the Patronus test on Pottermore, it’s a Sphynx Cat!

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      Speak English, kiddo!

    • Jonny On Maui

      Do I even want to ask what all that means?

      • Daisy

        It’s Harry Potter stuff! :)

        • Jonny On Maui

          Oh. Okay. The books the spawn read…

          • Jen B_VA

            Think it is like a spirit animal.
            See? I learned the cool things!

      • Dee Andee
        • Jonny On Maui

          Guilty as charged…

        • Jen B_VA

          I get this! ZOMG I am learning!
          Course the 11 year old speaks of hardly anything else.
          But still! I R good mom and obviously listening even when my eyes glaze over!

        • Daisy

          Ohmygosh, that is amazing!

    • I Only Like Cats

      Mine is a black swan. I used to have a sphynx cat, they’re adorable!

      • Daisy

        Oooh, nice!

    • jowgajen

      I did not care for the requirement to register on the site.

      • Daisy

        It is irritating.

  • Vagenda and Tiara

    I just read an article entitled “The Abnormalization of Hillary Clinton” by my boyfriend Jonathan Chait. It really captures what INFURIATES me about this election – that a corrupt buffoon is compared to Clinton as if the two are two sides of the same coin. They couldn’t be more different, and only idiots don’t see that. She’ll at least attempt to do what’s right for the country, while he’ll loot it like the country is a Soviet style kleptocracy. At the end of his disastrous presidency, the rubes will blame Obama for our huge national debt and imploding economy, just as they blamed JIMMY CARTER for Bush’s failures.

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2016/09/the-abnormalization-of-hillary-clinton.html

    • Daisy

      Oooh, bookmarked, just in case I don’t finish it.

    • Jen B_VA

      That is about right.
      Trump is a horrid businessman who cons everyone he has contact with and stiffs everyone and wants to blow up people who do not do what we want and use nukes and drill the national parks….
      But those emails man…..

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        I’m so sick of hearing about her damn emails. I’d seriously give my last dime to never hear about them again.

    • Daisy

      Just read it, it was really good!

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        Glad you liked it! Jonathan Chait is one of my favorite political writers. He puts my thoughts in to coherent thoughts and words.

    • jowgajen

      I don’t care for his reflexive need to bash Clinton. I flatly disagree that Clinton should be described as bad, secretive, or lacking in judgment. These are all gendered and needless attacks coming at her from the left. At least that is how I see it.

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        I agree! With friends like these…

    • SayItWithWookies

      I think that’s finally turning — even without Trump’s taxes, Newsweek dug into his foreign business dealings and he and his children have said more that raises eyebrows; and Mr. Farenholdt’s articles about Trump’s charity, plus his campaign finance filings with the FEC — shit, in just the last three months of filings, Trump’s managed to alarm the hell out of a lot of fiscal conservatives, because he’s quite obviously an opportunist who’ll stop at nothing to enrich himself. I mean it’s no Travelgate, but it could still hurt his chances of being elected.

      • Good_Trouble_Yall

        And the stories are finally starting to loop back around to “does anyone remember that time Fanta Hitler said he could make money running for president? Funny, that, but run your eye down this staggeringly long list of things he’s charged his campaign for . . . .”

      • Vagenda and Tiara

        Ted Cruz just endorsed him. How much of a spineless piece of shit is Cruz? Trump says his father murdered JFK, so Cruz decides to eat shit and endorse him. These people are the opposite of patriots.

        • SayItWithWookies

          Fortunately Ted Cruz is not a barometer of any part of the electorate that doesn’t include Ted Cruz. And just for fun, when Cruz first refused to endorse Trump, Trump said he didn’t want Ted’s endorsement, and now he says he’s “deeply honored” to have it. Such integrity these people have, who lie to each other all the time for political expediency.

          • Vagenda and Tiara

            My die hard Republican mother only had two people out of the entire clusterfuck field of Republicans that she refuses to vote for – Ted Cruz and Donald Trump. Apparently sniveling Ted thought Donald was going to lose big, but now that he’s only a little behind Clinton, he decided it would be best for his career to go lick Donald’s scrotum.

  • anwisok

    MOTHERFUCKING SON OF OF A WHORE!

    I just spent two hours editing A Thing,saved it as a new file, then saved the UNEDITED FILE as the new file. HOW THE FUCK DID I DO THAT?!?!??!?!??!

    *head desk to infinity*

    • Daisy

      *winces*

      • anwisok

        A lesson for you. Don’t edit your work while Wodka.

        • Suttree

          Poor darling!

          • anwisok

            It’s a recipe to share with the greater commentariat! So, some people will probably cheer the delay. Those who are familiar with my “writing,” mostly.

          • Jen B_VA

            Oh no! You recipes are utterly wonderful, no cheering on this one :hugs:

          • anwisok

            Remember that for future reference,if you don’t mind..

          • Jen B_VA

            I always like you recipes. You taught me how to make a pork roast loin thing that one time, remember?
            I will however do something dumb like “I substituted pork rinds for the asparagus and lard for the olive oil and I thought this recipe was too greasy” because reasons.

          • Daisy

            What Jen said!

          • Nooo! I need a new recipe!!

        • Panika MCD

          surely not. you drink a civilized drink while editing or revising. like whiskey.

        • I Only Like Cats

          Why do you guys keep reminding me of my unfinished stories?

          • Jen B_VA

            Cause we wanna read em.
            So finish em up, eh?

          • I Only Like Cats

            That reminds me of the first one I wrote that has 100+ pages I wanted to rewrite…

          • anwisok

            Is there a page you DON’T want to rewrite?

          • Page 4

          • I Only Like Cats

            Not anymore. I’m changing an old fantasy novel into a multicultural thing starring lots and lots of women with a main character who is gay, when before it was just a normal fantasy novel with a female main character.

          • anwisok

            That sounds like . . a lot of work. Mightent it be easier to start with a clean slate3?

          • I Only Like Cats

            No because I already have some of the framework. Also because my mental illness has prevented me from starting new stories (not from having new story ideas though) for the last few years.

          • Jen B_VA

            You are at least jotting down the ideas though? For when you may want to start on new ones sometime in the future?
            We need more talent in this world is what I am driving at.
            Edit: Yours specifically.

          • I Only Like Cats

            Awwww, I might actually let you guys read some of it, if you’re going to be that sweet. Yes, I am writing down ideas, and now that I think about it, I have started a new one I don’t want to burn in a fire but it’s mostly for my own mental health and not something to show others.

          • Jen B_VA

            True story: I have written 12 books to date (all in various stages of re-write because as I age ideas change). I have never let a single other human read them * for these reasons: A: They are for me and B: I am not really that good/fuck convention, I do what amuses me for myself.
            So that I can well understand. And if they are for your personal reasons I won’t be too pushy, though I may mention from time to time that I’d be a willing and eager ear ^.^ If ever you find you want one.

            *I did read part of one to the spawn once because it was a funny bit in which our hero discovered why he did not really exist.

          • Jen B_VA

            I did that once. I actually finished one. ONE thing. And I was all…IT IS DONE.
            The next night I started re-writing it from scratch.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Too much blood in your alcohol system?

      You should still be able to recover, no?

      • anwisok

        Of course. Backups are your friend. I found 90+% of it.

    • Panika MCD
    • Jen B_VA

      I did that at work the other day. It was an important thing that I went and saved over and had to go begging to get people to sign the thing they had already signed, again.
      It has not been a good week.

      Also, did you try turning it off and on?

      *runs and HIDES. Behind suttree*

      • anwisok

        I will happily put a Barrett .50 round through Suttree to get to you, right now. At up to 1.5 miles! /sarcasm.

        • Jen B_VA

          DANG.
          In that case, I may have to hide behind Suttree and the entire cast of Hamilton to boot.

          • anna rampage

            Please have the cast of Hamilton stand behind a 5′ thick wall of reinforced concrete as well…

        • Suttree

          Why do you hate me!!!!! *cries tears of snark about my impending doom*

          • anwisok

            Blame Jen for using you as cover. Nothing personal.

          • Jen B_VA

            But pinks, if you did me in, whom would you have as much fun with as you do with me?

            Hrm. Actually, don’t answer that. Been a week and I do not think my ego could handle the answer.

          • anwisok

            Jonny, of course.

          • Jen B_VA

            Jonny is good company. Not only cool as the other side of the pillow, but lives in paradise and shares his stash.
            Good choice.

          • Jonny On Maui

            I’m tellin’ ya both, come on over any time!

            Well, at least after I get to move in…

          • Jen B_VA

            pft, then it will be lived in. Some host you are!

          • Jonny On Maui

            Keep it up and you’ll get the least favorite hammock spot…

          • Jen B_VA

            I live in 850sq ft with 3 other people in humid mosquito ridden VA.
            There is no least favorite hammock spot in Hawaii that I would turn down.

          • Good_Trouble_Yall

            On Maui? Surely you jest.

          • Jonny On Maui

            This one’s exposed to the rain.

            Yes, the rain is warm too…

          • anwisok

            Not that I wanna lose you, or anything.

          • Jen B_VA

            DAWWWWW :snuggle:

          • anwisok
          • Suttree

            I feel proud that she mentions me in a comment!

          • I keep bribing her with Justin pics…

          • Jen B_VA

            YES PLEASE

          • I’m still obsessing over the pic i got with Robbie Amell…it’s now the lock screen on my phone. I have to touch him to unlock. Christ i’m filthy

          • Jonny On Maui

            Go on…

          • One of my team mates said i should have run off with him and never come back to work. After today, i agree

          • Jen B_VA

            It is a stupendous picture and he is well worth grokking over FOR SURE.
            And what Jonny said, go on…..

          • I showed the pic to one of the women i work with today and she yanked my phone out of my hand and enlarged it so she could marvel over him in detail

          • Good_Trouble_Yall

            Well, he is a tasty little biscuit.

        • Good_Trouble_Yall

          In that case, may I suggest to Jen that she hide behind Trumplethinskin?

          • Jen B_VA

            Naw mang, when hiding from the rampaging anwisok agenda, you hide behind a culinary master of much admire, or the entire cast of a very popular musical, or maybe a favorite musical group.
            Trumple would not be a good blockade at all.

            Edit: Cause he’d be cool with going through that see. The point is hiding behind something he likes too much to nuke into orbit.
            I though Suttree should work but….

          • Jonny On Maui

            You’re right, it’d just draw more fire…

          • Good_Trouble_Yall

            You could duck down real fast. Maybe Anwisok has a “tell.”

          • Jen B_VA

            When his face gets all red splotchy and the vein starts popping out on his forehead- bet that is a tell.

          • TJ Barke

            In such a case, you need concealment as opposed to cover.

          • Good_Trouble_Yall

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/65e22ad33271ab7c1e4652d29e64b4bd0669c62bf27a92c5800ba77d7eb7509d.png
            Is this playing for anyone else? It’s supposed to be the Monty Python “How not to be seen” thing!

        • Juan de Fuca

          Are you using a clip or a mag? Because a clip won’t be accurate 1.5 miles even in perfect conditions.

          • TJ Barke

            Depends, you could just load straight into the chamber if your cocky and don’t think you need any more rounds.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Belt fed 50 cal is the rockinest…

  • TheDogAteMyVote

    I listened to both of Trump’s speeches from today. In addition to his promise to cut everyone’s taxes bigly and magically create 3.5% economic growth, he also vows to open up our federal lands to oil and gas drilling. So he wants to destroy our national parks so some billionaires can get richer selling our resources to China. And once they’re done drinking our milkshake we taxpayers will have to pay for the cleanup.

    • Vagenda and Tiara

      Sounds suspiciously like the bank collapse, where nobody went to jail after the largest fraud and theft in history. It’s weird how the middle class gets stuck paying for all this Republican crap, and half the dumb rubes in this country will say every eight years “hey, I just didn’t get reamed hard enough by the last Republican, can I please get bent over, and screwed with no lube again?”

      I read some Republican say “we’ve replaced tax and spend Democrats with borrow and spend Republicans.” I don’t mind the label “tax and spend” because it shows that I’m smart enough to figure out if I want nice things, I have to pay for them with taxes.

    • TJ Barke

      Privatize the profit, socialize the costs.

  • Mavenmaven

    and don’t forget all the skimming of available resources to his friends and family.

  • Daisy

    I kinda wish there was a way to tell if a guy liked you, but then again, I really don’t need to find out that he doesn’t right now anyway.

    • I Only Like Cats

      I feel like he likes you, from what you have said, but I’m sure it’ll become pretty obvious if he does.

      • Daisy

        I’m just worried I’ve perceived it incorrectly. It’s mostly the ring thing getting to me, cause that’s just odd, based on my experience with nearly a year wearing it. On Tuesday, he told me about his weird, basically a fantasy-novel-plot dream, then later brushed hair off my shirt. So, that.

        • Jen B_VA

          He is sharing intimate details and finding reasons to make personal contact.
          Gonna say I feel rather confident, with a 99.8% certainty, that he does not dislike you, at least.

          • Daisy

            I would hope for not-dislike, at minimum, as I live across the hall from him.

          • Jen B_VA

            Good news! Fairly sure you got not-dislike down cold :D

          • Daisy

            That’s great news!
            *No really, it is. He’s a good guy, unlike my last long-term crush.

          • Jen B_VA

            Crushes are like that. More oft then not they will disappoint you when you face the reality instead of what you decided was why you liked em.
            Also one of the ways to tell the diff between crush and actual interest; when you are only MORE interested as you learn more about a person, instead of disappointed.

          • I Only Like Cats

            Or if like me, you are an asexual tsundere and every time he says words to you, you feel funny and have a very strong desire to [REDACTED].

          • anna rampage

            OMG, there’s a woman at the grocery store that I shop at where it seems we both have a huge, awkward crushes on one another…

            We both get fidgety, have a hard time with eye contact, and generally mess up anything we try to say to one another…

          • Good_Trouble_Yall

            We humans are so good at fucking this up. It oughta be a lot easier.

          • Jonny On Maui

            We’re fear based creatures…

          • anna rampage

            The lizard brain can be a powerful force, unless of course you are a narcissist, or sociopath…

          • BloviateMe

            I remember reading somewhere that most people feared public speaking more than death.

            Than death. We are so weird. The dogs have it right: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ee5bd3aebbf87a908c1ff15aca6e2e8e1d39ec118c3d2381f526333a4ed49581.jpg

          • Jen B_VA

            This is so very true. And from a cat person that is sayin much

          • WomanInAMood

            I love this.

          • BloviateMe

            It really struck a chord with me when I saw it.

          • WomanInAMood

            I’ll have days where I’m stressing about some stupid thing, and Thor will come up to me with his rope toy, drop it and do a little snorty thing. we then play fetch, and then he will just come and lie on the floor next to my chair, all happy. His whole life is in the moment.

          • Good_Trouble_Yall

            That’s what I try to remind friends who have to put pets to sleep. We’re the ones who know their lives are short, they just know we scratch them behind the ears, dispense treats, and play tug-o-war!

          • Jonny On Maui

            This is why I can’t wait to get in my house up at the property. I’ll finally be able to have a dog back in my life.

          • Good_Trouble_Yall

            I taught public speaking in my first teaching position and I can say without a doubt that is true! My kids couldn’t have been more nervous, even after they all knew one another and knew no one would heckle or be unkind.

          • TJ Barke

            Public speaking ain’t no thang. It’s one on one that’s freaks me out.

          • Only animal dumber at mating:

            https://youtu.be/9T1vfsHYiKY

          • Daisy

            I’m just happy when I can keep a conversation going-I should probably talk to him about something other than midterms.

          • I have random, completly insane trivia. But that has not helped me one bit. I am 35, live alone, and talk to most of my friends in a place where comments are not allowed

          • BloviateMe

            I’d focus on the random, and maybe downplay the insane part. Showcase the shiny stuff.

          • Yes…sadly, random and insane is what sticks in my brain. Also, when boys see me play along with Jeopardy, they get scared.

          • Jonny On Maui

            They don’t understand the need for the knives…

          • BloviateMe

            I LOL’d.

          • The knife is the perfect clasp lock for my skull purse

          • Good_Trouble_Yall

            Try one serious subject – but carefully, don’t start with abortion, politics, or religion! – and see how he goes. Something that’s in the paper is always good, or an open-ended opinion question like “I don’t know what I think about this issue – what do you think?”

          • BloviateMe

            What do you think about (fill in the blank) is an easy way to get/keep a conversation going with anybody. Pretty much a can’t miss.

          • Good_Trouble_Yall

            Because we all love being asked our opinions!

          • BloviateMe

            Thank you for recognizing my interesting and likely superior opinion of things. But enough about me, let’s talk about why you like me.

          • Good_Trouble_Yall

            Are you sure you just want to talk?
            bats eyes, looks innocent

          • BloviateMe

            LOL, that really cuts to the chase.

          • Good_Trouble_Yall

            Heehee – I’m very, very brave when I’m on the other side of a computer screen! In person I’d probably step on your feet, spill something on myself, and say between 11 & 37 stupid things inside of an hour.

          • BloviateMe

            I figger that’s why one of the reasons god invented alcohol. Liquid confidence.

            Of course, that goes wrong more often than right, but I hold out hope.

          • Good_Trouble_Yall

            Oh, well, if alcohol is added, I’ll spill two things on myself, laugh inappropriately, and be asked to leave by the proprietor.

          • BloviateMe

            Sounds familiar. You sure we aren’t related?

          • Good_Trouble_Yall

            I will neither confirm nor deny that. :)

          • TJ Barke

            I wouldn’t necessarily assume that, that’s how I am around everyone.

          • Jen B_VA

            :hugs: I cannot imagine that struggle. I had other hang ups, so I can at least empathize.

          • I Only Like Cats

            I got lucky that he actually does not mind (and generally thinks it’s cute, which is weird, and makes me slightly worse, but OK). I have mostly settled in viewing him as a friend when we need to have real conversations but if I overdo it he will purposely provoke and I will go off on him, with words and votes.

          • Jen B_VA

            With me, it is I do not get subtle, or even obvious, cues vis a vie interest, and I also do not do compliments well and have a need to self depreciate instead of just going “thanks!”
            but then I feel guilty because when you do a self depreciating joke, someone will go aw no, you are all good! and then it feels like backward fishing for compliments.
            So, generally, when I get complimented, I change the subject.

            I am much better with criticism XD

          • anna rampage

            I’m the same way, I’ve finally learned to say “thank you, I really appreciate that” but it still feels all awkward as hell and I never know where to take it from there…

            Do you compliment them back, or does that seem cheesy and like it was forced…

          • Jen B_VA

            Don’t care if it does seem cheesy and forced, I instantly do it in return. Usually without the thank you. It will go:
            “Hey Jen, that thing you did, that was SMRT!”
            “Oh well, this thing YOU did was so much more the SMRT; I especially liked when you did x y and Z and said N because holy wow that is the SMRTest thing ever and -oh hey, is that Elvis?”

          • TJ Barke
          • I Only Like Cats

            That’s rude. I’m sitting right here. Also, ever notice how as soon as other characters find out a person is tsundere, they do everything they can to force out the tsuntsun, constantly? Because that’s actually true to life. Don’t blame us tsuntsuns for you being sadistic/masochistic.

          • Sister Artemis

            New word! Vocabulary (and idea!) expansion!

          • Good_Trouble_Yall

            What is a tsundere?

          • TJ Barke
          • I Only Like Cats

            no, it’s better if I explain with gifs (because that’s not entirely accurate, and was quite rude, last time I read it).

          • Good_Trouble_Yall

            Thanks, and okay, that was weird. I was cool until I got to the part where they can be “accidental perverts” and then I was all WTF??

          • TJ Barke

            That’s just a common anime trope. Sort of a sad wish fulfillment type thing.

          • I Only Like Cats

            That has happened to me in real life, with my boyfriend, and it is not wish fulfillment for us tsundere, thanks. XD

          • I Only Like Cats

            Sooo when my boyfriend hits on me, since we have met, I react like this: http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6h881aNvI1rwhzalo1_500.gif and when he gets close to me, like this: https://38.media.tumblr.com/9146ec102b2023127f259fc6006b820e/tumblr_n3khg3pT321roo4dro10_500.gif or http://24.media.tumblr.com/cb707a90fa8c10a4396a361a76935cbd/tumblr_mjh1qagbY31rdilyeo1_500.gif and then when he tries to be affectionate and I get confused (so safer to be around) this: http://24.media.tumblr.com/cb707a90fa8c10a4396a361a76935cbd/tumblr_mjh1qagbY31rdilyeo1_500.gif and I’m pretty sure he’s always trying to get a rise out of me: http://data1.whicdn.com/images/63692012/large.gif and that’s your crash course.

          • James Christopher Owen
          • anna rampage

            That, and always give it at least a year before you make big decisions…

        • Good_Trouble_Yall

          If you ask be prepared for either answer, so you’re not rocked visibly. That’s just my advice – but it sounds like he’s got a crush. :)

        • I Only Like Cats

          Did you say fantasy plot novel? *looks around her room at her unfinished manuscripts and sweats*

          • Daisy

            They’ll be finished one day, I believe in you! *hugs* And thanks for this, I’ve never really dealt with this kinda thing before.

          • I Only Like Cats

            Well, I hadn’t either, I’m tsundere, and I didn’t have the added stress of him being near me constantly until this summer (he probably still has some bruises and I feel kind of bad). Couldn’t imagine going through that in person.

          • redarmyzombie

            Oh sweet Jesus, do I know *that* pain…

    • TJ Barke

      As all the really unhelpful people tell me, you should just bite the bullet.

      • Jen B_VA

        Meh. I always advise just trying to be friends firstly foremost. Get to know em, hang out, do stuffies, talk lots.
        THEN bite the bullet. But only if he/she is into that sort of thing.

      • I Only Like Cats

        Oh, screw that. Play it safe until you’re like 90% certain, than bite the bullet. Trust me, I confessed to the same guy like four times, I know my stuff.

    • Jonny On Maui

      There is. You ask him. You smile and ask, “Hey! Do you like me?”

      • TJ Barke

        Yes, for fuck’s sake. Some guys (me, for instance) would really appreciate that kind of thing.

        • Jonny On Maui

          It works in the other direction too.

          Just not always in the way you want.

          • Jen B_VA

            TBH it never occured to me, ever, to express interest in a guy. Could be my age/background/upbringing, but being forward with guys was not a thing the girls did without being discussed behind their backs.
            I do not know if that is still a thing or not (never should have been)but it most certainly gives me some insight into the time before we started dating when now hubby said that I was “cold”

          • TJ Barke

            It’s the commonplace assumption of American courtship, the man needs to make the first move, and when you’re like me, that shit is fucking maddening.

          • Jonny On Maui

            I see no reason to keep this ‘guys make the first move’ thingy. Then again, I think that if you like someone you should tell them. So that shows you what kind of old burnt out hippie I am…

          • TJ Barke

            When you’re a shy socially anxious person like me, it effectively makes dating impossible. Maybe if you’re lucky you could start something online(I almost managed to do that) but in the real world it is simply beyond reach.

          • I Only Like Cats

            Agreed.

          • Good_Trouble_Yall

            Do you have someone you can work through that with? Because you seem to me like a smart, good-looking guy who’s on the right side of all the issues liberal women care about . . . I can’t imagine what it’s like to be socially anxious because I’m a pushy bitch, but you’d be a catch if you could get past that!

          • TJ Barke

            I dunno, I probably should seek therapy, but I’m even anxious about that, so…

          • Good_Trouble_Yall

            I see my therapist weekly and you know, most of the time it’s really been helpful. I back-slid some this past weekend, but hey, all in all she’s been a real lifeline. You have one ace in your pocket with a new therapist: you’re paying him/her, so you call the shots; if you go in and you don’t like the person or aren’t comfortable, you say so, and find someone else. I hit lucky first time, but almost didn’t – the person I had lined up a meeting with came unavailable and the one I see now happened to return my call that same day!

          • Jonny On Maui

            You express yourself well with words. Are penpals no longer a thing?

          • Stamps are fucking expensive

          • Jen B_VA

            Now that I am older I see no reason to keep it. When I was young however it seemed terribly important.
            Funny what years and years of being told “you should be this way” will do to ya

          • Daisy

            *nods* I get it, a little. Not directly related, but yesterday was the first time I was wearing a camisole around people I’m not related to. Girls got called all sorts of delightful names when they exposed too much skin, I’m not super comfortable with the way I look, and school dress codes were only enforced on girls.

    • anwisok

      0.0 WUT?Q?Q??!?!?!??!

      • Daisy

        You okay?

        • anwisok

          Prolly not.

          • Jonny On Maui

            ‘Prolly’… gigglesnort!

    • Juan de Fuca

      *Lowers reading glasses because I’m getting close to old*

      Forget boys! School!

      I’m joking of course, as the dad of a daughter who I want to focus on school and pay her own way in life and choose guys as she wants, because school.

      No boys! Forget ’em. We’re trouble. School.

      • Jen B_VA

        lol you are such a dad ^^

        • Jonny On Maui

          Ain’t he though? It’s precious!

        • Juan de Fuca

          I’m pretty sure I’ve been seriously depressed (clinically?) to some degree over the fact my own daughter is leaving home soon. We get to keep her at home for another year because her first year at uni is in San Diego but she has to transfer to LA next year, which means moving out and going her own way. She graduated HS early at 17, so still on the same life cycle most of us parents are – she moves away at 18. Still not ready for that but such is life. Most importantly, I’m very excited for her too. But damn, they do grow up fast. Too fast…

          • Jen B_VA

            My oldest is 14 and navigating HS now and I was crying the other day because I only have 4 more years of ruling his life for him (aka, him being home, probably).
            I do not find your reaction odd even in the slightest :hugs:

          • Good_Trouble_Yall

            Do you mean “I’ve been really sad” or “I’ve been having trouble getting out of bed” when you say “seriously depressed?” Because I have depression and it’s not something that’s kicked off by a sad situation; it’s something that makes life difficult. I need a job but I can’t – can not, no way, no how – apply for one. Can’t write up my resume, can’t respond to online postings, can’t walk into a shop and ask for an application. I just fucking freeze up. So if it’s like that for you, get therapy, ’cause it won’t resolve on its own.
            Editing to add, not meaning to be harsh, although re-reading this, it sounds harsh. Just meaning, don’t let it go, if you’re serious.

  • I Only Like Cats

    Does it never occur to mayors prior instances of curfews don’t end well, at all?

    • Jen B_VA

      Nope. It worked one time, they read it on the intertubes!

    • Daisy

      Nope, guess not.

    • Good_Trouble_Yall

      I think they secretly enjoy the power – either that, or they fear the wrath of the business community if the place burns to the ground and they can’t say “Hey, I did what I could!”

      • James Christopher Owen

        I noticed the mayor said “open for business” then said, toward the end of the statement “we’re open” and I just knew she wanted to say “for business” again. ‘Cuz, hey, blah people get gunned down everyday, but business AS USUAL must go on, eh? Also, too, “hey tourists, no sweat, we’ve got these angry minorities under control so come on down and toss us some of those sweet tourist Ameros, ‘kay?” Rioting over racial justice and this bimbo is worrying about TOURISM?

        Jesus wept.

        • Good_Trouble_Yall

          It does make you wonder, if the federal government announced that any city that had a police-related shooting that didn’t pass the smell test would be banned from receiving federal funds for a year, if these mayors and city councils would somehow find the resources to properly train the cops?

        • TJ Barke

          He lives in a world where the populace exists to serve the economy. It’s supposed to be the other way around, dammit!

    • Suttree

      The only times that I have been subject to curfews were for natural disasters, hurricanes to be exact. So there was a feeling of eh, we’ll get over this in a few days and you give a random neighbor a drink. You meet new people that you haven’t talked to before. I wasn’t there for Katrina, but every other storm that hit us when I was living there turned into “sup dude, need a beer?”.

      • Barley_Brains

        That’s “our way of life.”

      • Master Contrail Program

        Yep, the one hurricane I lived through where curfews and martial law were declared was exactly like that. Met neighbors that day I never saw before……or after.

        Can’t say I’ve heard the sound of thousands of doors closing and air conditioners activating at once since then either.

  • mtn_philosoph

    OT: Jacoby Brissett … oh yeah!

    • Jen B_VA

      I just did a google because I did not know that one and I saw the born on date and I was like dear lord I have jeans older than this guy’s entire body, so I probably should not go dang, he’s a nice lookin footballing player, because now I feel creepy cougarish.

      https://ct.yimg.com/mr/IMAGES/PROSPECT/PHOTO/JACOBY-BRISSETT_150_8_16.JPG

      • anna rampage

        Cougars are quite the popular things these days….

        • anna rampage

          Not to mention, I hear he’s really mature for only being 23…

          • Jen B_VA

            lolz. Between you me and the Wonkette whom I am sure will be pleased by this, but I have yet to meet an actually mature 80 year old. Of any gender-norm.
            Maturity is the great trick humans play on ourselves to make ourselves feel less silly.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            I proclaim thee Queen of Epigrams!

          • Jen B_VA

            Confession: I had to look up epigram to make sure my after 10 oclock brain was registering the correct meaning. Sad, but true.

            Ahem, anyway, I thank thee, loyal subject. For my first official act I declare today national sponge bath day. No reason, just sounds like it needs a day.

          • Good_Trouble_Yall

            Is it a violation of protocol to use a washcloth on sponge bath day? Because my, uh, my puppy ate my sponge. Yeah. My puppy.

          • Jen B_VA

            I dunno. It is my first sponge bath day. Figure we can make the rules up as we go along like everyone else does.
            Yeah, libs gonna steal that too (or, neolibs, depending whom is labeling me on any given day)

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            My dear friend who is recovering from surgery will appreciate that, your highness.

          • Courser

            When I had my cougar moment, 22-23 year old were the best!!! Good company, good conversationalists, lots of fun.

      • mtn_philosoph

        I am currently wearing socks (clean, white, in fine condition) that are older than him. In fact they’re probably older than Brady, too. Don’t care — I got over that kind of thing years ago.

        • Jen B_VA

          Heh remember that time the Patriots and the Bears were in the super footballing game and the Bears did the shuffle song and the patriots did the New England Patriots and You thing?
          Whitest thing I had ever seen in my life.

        • Dee Andee

          Same here. Someone gave me shit about it 10 years ago and I was only 44 then! I said I was older, not blind, and not dead. Why do young people often think only older men like looking at younger women, but for some reason, older women are attracted to thin hair and beer guts?

          The body ages, the spirit? Never. And we know an attractive man of any age when we see him. And if others have a prob with it, whatever. Their prob, not mine…I’ll just enjoy the view. ;)

      • TJ Barke

        Technically the molecules of both are far older.

  • Good_Trouble_Yall

    Why do all these newscasters, talking about whether the victim in NC had a gun or a book, care? Carrying a gun is FUCKING LEGAL, ALMOST MANDATORY, in fucking NC. Will not one of them openly admit that when you are black, carrying a gun is not only not legal, it’s deadly???

    • I Only Like Cats

      They had that conversation earlier on MSNBC.

      • Good_Trouble_Yall

        They need to all say it, out loud, and over, and over, and over again – make the damn racists in this country admit it out loud.

    • Brian

      Open Carry only applies to White Biker Meth-heads, Black folk don’t matter, silly.

  • I fell down a youtube hole earlier…nothing good will ever come of that

    • Good_Trouble_Yall

      As long as I stick to cute animals and children with adorable accents, and don’t read the comments, it can be a mood-lifter. You just have to remember you’re walking through a field of cowpies, and watch your feet accordingly.

      • I live in a city where no one cleans up their dog shit, so i am used to watching my step!

    • TJ Barke

      That’s not as severe as a tvtropes hole.

      • I Only Like Cats

        Pretty sure I just closed TvTropes tabs that I opened a year ago…

        • TJ Barke

          I’m sorry what? I’m trying to learn about ‘hammerspace’…

          • I Only Like Cats

            Pffft, that’s beginner stuff, you know about that if you watched the Suite Life of Zack and Cody.

          • BloviateMe

            Other people know of this “show?” I still have a wrinkle on my forehead from furrowing my brow in confusion while my daughter watched it.

          • I Only Like Cats

            I’m a teenager for a couple more months, you know.

  • JCfromNC

    I was listening to Queen’s “A Night At The Opera” on the way in to work tonight, and thought, “Wow. This song can apply to Trump so easily.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqVpk0qxmfA

    • (((cynmac)))

      That is my favorite Queen album.

  • Trump is going to make America great again! Let’s count the ways!
    1 The greatest debt!
    2 The greatest disparity in wealth!
    3 The greatest mass deportation in history of human kind!
    4 The greatest transfer of wealth to the wealthy!
    5 The greatest fraud, huckster, or grifter to ever rule!

    What other ways will Trump make America great again? What a fun drinking game!

    • Good_Trouble_Yall

      He’s leaving???

      • One can only hope. We could help him along… with votes!

    • phoenix00

      Don’t forget the greatest wall and greatest university!

  • I forgot how good this was:

    https://youtu.be/EnLcV1ASZQw

  • Brian

    Ugh, reporter saying he sees no protest on Trade and College is ignorant because Trade and Tryon is where shit is going on.

    • Good_Trouble_Yall

      Now that it’s after zero dark curfew, I wonder what will happen?

      • Brian

        I would bet nothing. Protesters have caused no problems, Eventually they’ll want to sleep.

        • Good_Trouble_Yall

          If the cops and the mayor are smart, they should back down.

          • Brian

            Charlotte is liberal enough that I think they are.

          • The DeplorableDemmeVagenda

            Isn’t the mayor of Charlotte the one at odds with the stupid gov. about the transgender bathroom thing?

      • The only world leader i am aware of who “successfully” enacted a curfew and repressive law enforcement measures was PM Trudeau V1.0. And even then, Canada’s relationship with Quebec is still borked

        • Jen B_VA

          The city of Chester did it a few years back in PA. It worked if you mean it earned them a buncha fees from poor folks coming home from work after the fucking curfew was enacted.
          No I am still not pissed off about the insanity of that shit, not even a little.

  • I Only Like Cats

    Talking about anime and thinking about all the cartoons I definitely shouldn’t binge watch tells me it’s time to go to bed. Goodnight everyone.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Good night I Only like Cats.

    • Shannanigans

      Sweet dreams!

  • Good_Trouble_Yall

    Well, good night, me hearties, I’m off to Bedfordshire.

    • Daisy

      Goodnight!

    • Jonny On Maui

      Good night Good_Trouble_Yall.

    • WomanInAMood

      Sleep well.

      • Jonny On Maui

        You and Panika meet up tomorrow? Why you’re just going out and meeting all the wonkers! You’ll tell us all about it pretty please?

        • WomanInAMood

          It’s going to be a blast! Panika has kindly agreed to give me and MomInAMood a tour of the capital. And of course, lunch is involved. To hell with the damn bats, this will be awesome.

          • Jonny On Maui

            “Tune in tomorrow, same no-bat time, same no-bat channel…”

  • Panika MCD

    just spent an hour aggregating all those “I’d Rathers” and some of my lege reports. now I’m schmeepy and I get to hang out with WomanInAMood tomorrow. I might drop back by, but probably not. remember:

    http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/f3/f3e0a39eca9ed9f234ed2a48a0736d200daaa01d4a49e4c1dd9a853c61f4f7cf.jpg

    or Donald Trump.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Good night Panika.

    • WomanInAMood

      Pleasant dreams.

  • cousin itt

    So, here’s a congressracist who deserves a few hundred thousand outraged phonecalls tonight: A Republican congressman who represents the Charlotte area said Thursday that people are protesting in the city because they “hate white people.”

    U.S. Rep. Robert Pittenger, whose district includes parts of Charlotte and its suburbs, was asked by an interviewer for Britain’s “BBC Newsnight” what grievance the protesters have. http://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/nc-gop-rep-charlotte-protesters-hate-white-people

    • Jonny On Maui

      Fucker ‘doesn’t respond to email from outside his district’…

      • cousin itt

        Mr Sulu, arm the vote-on torpedoes.

    • SayItWithWookies

      He has since apologized — yet some of it strikes me as less than believable, like “My intent was to discuss the lack of economic mobility for African Americans because of failed policies.”

      Oh, of course, Congressman — and blaming black people for getting shot by cops was sooooo close to that original point you were trying to make — totally see how you could mistake one argument for the other.

  • data_ninja

    And now… a video for the late night crowd. I think it’s actually supposed to be a commercial, but maybe it’s an art film, or maybe it’s just madness. Just watch it all the way through.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_91Sye6oJg

    • Jonny On Maui

      I fear something subliminal has been planted…

      • data_ninja

        I may have posted that video with you in mind, Jonny. I recall you saying something about being a purveyor of the strange…

  • Incoming Ham

    I’m going to stop compulsively writing and join Mr. Ham in slumber. Nighty-night.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Good night Incoming Ham.

  • Jonny On Maui

    And now, for our first musical number of the night, something from the hippie past…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiIAPsjuVW4

    • SayItWithWookies

      That was pretty rockin’ — although I have the deepest sympathies for the person who couldn’t tune that hammered dulcimer at the beginning. Some of them are beyond tuning, though the best of them are untunable in a consistent way that can be dealt with by a talented player.

  • Nick Scroggs

    I’d say something about cutting military spending to help ease the debt, but what do I know? I’m just a 20-sometihng millennial narcissist and asshole who thinks he knows everything but is just dumb because I’m not old! Screw it, just take the money from the military, close some overseas bases, make Putin and his cronies give back their stolen funds, something.

    • WomanInAMood

      Hello! Have we met here before?

      • Nick Scroggs

        No I don’t think so.

        • WomanInAMood

          Well, hello then. Have you lurked around here much, then?

          • Nick Scroggs

            Not really, did a few comments today, on an article on Clinton and millennials where everyone was mocking people who were born after the Cold War as naive, myself included, and also called an asshole.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Ah. the day dwellers…

            Well, I’m an Old Nick and don’t give a damn when you were born.

          • Nick Scroggs

            You know, the whole “Olds and young” thing I’ve seen on Wonkette reminds me of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaqhQfj3fyE

          • data_ninja

            I would pay good money to see “Wonkette: The Musical!”

          • Jonny On Maui

            Didn’t that originate with Socrates? I’m pretty sure The Simpson’s lifted it…

          • We mellow out after 6pm EDT.

          • Dee Andee

            That’s good because I’m shit at politics today.

          • Jonny On Maui

            The night meds usually kick in about then…

          • WomanInAMood

            I only drink wine for medicinal purposes. And I’m rather sickly.

          • I am attempting to sign up for a quarterly wine box to be delivered to my house.

          • I drink wine as a public service. When I get cranky, some chardonnay can put me right back into a happy-ish place.

          • WomanInAMood

            You truly are a giver. Thank you for your service.

          • DON’T MIND IF I DO! *hic*

            And, yer welcoome, acourse. Say, isit HOT in here to you, or’sit just me?

          • WomanInAMood

            I’m in Texas. Yes. Medic!

          • Even in September, Austin is a dreary slog.

          • data_ninja

            Unless it’s a debate night/live blog. THEN WATCH OUT!

          • Dee Andee

            Gawd I cannot keep up with comments then! They go into the thousands!

          • WomanInAMood

            There’s blood in the water!

          • data_ninja

            From the whatevers!

          • I know i bleed out of my whatevers…

          • It’s disgusting. I can’t even say it. But, it’s disgusting.

          • data_ninja

            I seriously get irked how that guy keeps repeating himself. The structure is like this:

            Statement A. Statement B (shorter). Statement A (again). Statement C (possible normal sentence). Statement D (controversial or non-sensical). Statement E (shorter). Statement D (again, usually louder). Word (emotion/description).

            Fuckin’ Hairstrike Alpha has it down to a damn T. He’s like some method actor or something.

          • SayItWithWookies

            When Trump doesn’t know anything about a topic — ahem — he often negotiates with the audience by saying every damn thing that comes to mind and going with the one with the best audience reaction. And he’ll believe it fervently for the next thirty or more seconds.

          • The DeplorableDemmeVagenda

            Hairstrike is a wonder.

          • I am an old, but I don’t knock millennials as a matter of habit.

            Go on and on about how EEEBILLL Hillary is and I might consider it. But, hell, if you have compelling reasons WHY she’s evil, and present them in a coherent and polite manner, I’m happy to listen and reserve judgement depending on your evidence.

            As Pickwick says, this is a slightly different place in the wee hours. We crotchety olds knock back a few, swap vidjas of the songs of our wasted youths (and even listen to the contributions from what the youngs are listening to, these days).

          • WomanInAMood

            Nick, we mock people here. We are a nasty, vile little snark mob. But it’s not a blood sport. You are very welcome here – no snark! But I did check your history. I do that. Your heart and mind seem to be in the right place, but parachuting in with rhetorical guns a’blazing might not be the most effective way to communicate your point of view. And do not be fooled, we are not a hive mind, and we do not agree with each other all of the time. And that’s OK.

          • The DeplorableDemmeVagenda

            Not everyone.
            A lot of us older Wonkers have kids who are millennials or Gen. Xers and not all of them are assholes. (Just some of them.)

        • Jonny On Maui

          WomanInAMood, please meet Nick Scroggs.

          Mr. Scoggs, WomanInAMood…

          • Nick Scroggs

            Thanks Jim Lange.

          • WomanInAMood

            Pleased to meetcha, I’m sure.

          • Roni Raven

            I think you might have blown your cover with this remark. Milleninals are way too young to know who Jim Lange was.

            Signed, an Old who actually saw Jim Lange on TV.

          • WomanInAMood

            *embarrassed whisper* Who is Jim Lange? I’m Gen X. *crouched defensively*

          • Jonny On Maui

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Lange

            I took it as a compliment!

          • WomanInAMood

            Thank you. I was trying to be all cool. Clearly, that didn’t work.

          • Roni Raven

            Think back to your days watching TV. Drooling over your pablum as you watched the guy with the big glasses introduced guests on “The Dating Game.” That guy was Jim Lange.

            Oh FFS just replace pablum with Cheerios or oatmeal. Pablum is an Old thing too.

          • WomanInAMood

            So, not some wierd Internet meme thingie, then. Ok.

          • The original host of The Dating Game, apparently.

            Like you, however, I only go back to Chuck Woolery:

            https://youtu.be/n-qc-ntq5qw

          • Roni Raven

            THEN! How do you take your name from a John Denver song that must have been released before you were born??! HUH?

            Also too that’s the Newlywed Game. Not the Dating Game. The Newlywed Game was hosted by Bob Eubanks.

            Kids today.

          • Whoops. I really need to brush up on my daytime TV.

          • Nick Scroggs

            Nah, I’m in my 20s, I just knew the name looking up Steve Martin on Wikipedia. Apparently Steve was on The Dating Game.

          • WomanInAMood

            Really?

    • SayItWithWookies

      Just remind them that they’re the generation who believed Abbie Hoffman’s proscription not to trust anyone over thirty.

      • Hey, now! I’M the generation what thought parachute pants were cool, thankyouverymuch!

        • SayItWithWookies

          Oh right — I’ll add “or their kids” to the above.

    • Regret

      I’m quite interested in your opinion about cutting military spending.
      Please don’t hold back.

      I think the whole concept of military is soldier-abuse and should stop as soon as possible. If that is not possible then it should be minimized.
      Soldiers are people too.

      It gets very clear for me when I compare soldiers to firemen.
      You need them to protect people from fires, but minimizing how many you need by using fire-retardant doors and other neat preventative tricks is much better than just throwing more and more firemen at the fire.
      The only flaw in that comparison is that one’ mans fireman is another man’s pyromaniac when it comes to soldiers. That is not an insurmountable problem though, just spend your money on preventative tricks for the other country.

      • Nick Scroggs

        Well i was thinking something less like a permanent standing army and more a system in place for an ad hoc to be quickly assembled in emergency or for going to war. And also that a large fraction of the money form military spending could easily be used on projects like um uh reversing deforestation for example, that’d save some time later on.

        • Jen B_VA

          We can’t even get people to fulfill their civic duty and do jury calls.
          How, exactly, are we going to create an ad hoc military to quickly assemble when it is time to go get shot at?

          • Nick Scroggs

            I don’t know, I haven’t fleshed it yet.

        • Regret

          Using military spending for general philanthropic purposes and/or important long term projects I can totally get behind.

          Replacing the military with Ad hoc emergency response teams would require massive investment in training and a huge cultural shift.
          Not a bad idea, but it is not something that can be quickly achieved. Now that I’ve thought about it a bit I kinda love your idea.
          What would be the first step, though?
          I imagine huge investments in education coupled with education reform to emphasize practical matters like first aid, how to do your taxes, and how to have a positive impact on your neighbourhood/city/state.
          (I welcome alternative plans or improvements on this one.)

          On a more personal level, what can you yourself do now?
          The first thing that comes to mind is taking a first aid course.
          But there has to be more…

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    “Robert Maginnis: Witches ‘Advise The Senior Leadership Of The Country'”

    http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/robert-maginnis-witches-advise-senior-leadership-country

    “(Maginnis) said that he had ‘personally met’ with witches who told him that they are advising high-ranking government officials in Washington, D.C. “I know that there’s demonic forces in that city.”

    Okay, somebody here must know something about this, so spill it. I want in.

    • Jonny On Maui

      First you must bear the mark…

      You’re a freakin’ unicorn, you’re already magic!

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Okay, sure, but where do I send my resume’? And could I start with local officials?

        • Jonny On Maui

          Someone from the coven will be getting in touch.

  • Ok..just took me some nighttime cold and flu meds and my alarm is going off at 6am. It’s bedtime for this dodo!

    • phoenix00

      G’night Pickwicknext. Get well soon.

      • I caught my usual bug in the crowds and subways of Toronto. See? It is a blight on the land!

        • data_ninja

          So if you’re in Canada, does this make you “Patient Zed” for an outbreak?

          • Nope…that honour goes to one of my friends that i go to the film festival with. He sneezed too close to me

          • Ooooh. Look at you with your frilly, superfluous “u”. . .

          • Otherwise known as spelling things correctly?

          • Pffft. Only ‘Mericans spell shit correctly, moran.

            (Although, seriously, why the extra “u”s? Is there a surplus of vowels up there, or something?)

          • Our British ties are much deeper than yours. We didn’t even have an actual constitution until the ’80’s

          • This is all I know about the Canadian connection to the British:

            https://youtu.be/IloIoGj5Mj0

          • CJTX

            This was my instruction on the issue – I went to a Texas public school after all.

          • pstockholm

            Build the wall!
            We read Oryx and Crake, we know what’s going on up there.

        • Truly, thou are a martyr for film.

        • phoenix00

          Hmm, guess I didn’t stick around long enough to see what those are about.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Good night Pickwicknext.

    • WomanInAMood

      Sleep well, and feel better soon.

  • phoenix00

    But The Messicans are gonna pay for that wall! The economy will be F-I-N-E. Bigly fine!

  • pstockholm

    To be fair, celebrity BJs would create a lot of jobs.
    What? Oh.
    Never mind.

    • WomanInAMood

      I desperately want to know the context for that comment.

    • You have interesting ideas and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

      • pstockholm

        No problem. Go to https://sillywankers.com, you sign up with your credit card details, for security, no charges will be drawn of course, email is optional.

    • data_ninja

      I’ll be honest, I’d settle for celebrity PBJs. “Why yes Rosario Dawson, I’d love a sandwich in a non-sexist-yet-totally-sexy kind of way. What? Ryan Reynolds is gonna make one for me too?? AWESOME!!!! …tell him to cut off the crust, and I would like it with diagonal slices please.”

  • So, @WomanInAMood:disqus , are you in Austin, yet?

    • WomanInAMood

      At this very moment, I am sitting on the second floor passageway of a motel in Austin. MomInAMood went to bed a bit ago, there is a breeze out here, and don’t be fooled, there aren’t any bats.

      That sounded strange. Sorry. Mom and I stood on a bridge for, as she put it “two fucking hours” waiting to see huge swarms of bats fly out. It’s quite famous. There were five literal boatloads of people on the river, plus several hundred folks standing on the bridge. What wasn’the there was a swarm of bats. It felt like Becket wrote the Austin tour guide.

      I’m not bitter.

      • CJTX

        Heh, I know exactly of which you speak – but I’ve never been there. Do bats fly south for the winter? Or north for summer? Either way, it’s way too fucking hot for this time year. 95 or 96 all week except today, 93 – now that’s still mid September.

        • WomanInAMood

          Yes, I noticed that. It was the best part of standing on the bridge – there was a breeze. Actually, it was quite nice, except for the severe disappointment.

          • Jonny On Maui

            You know considering the reaction most people have when they do see bats your disappointment is well, different…

          • WomanInAMood

            I love bats. When I was a CollegeStudentInAMood, I went to a small school in Minnesota. During the summer, there was approximately one mosquito per cubic centimeter of air. Except one time when a bunch of us went camping. The air was refreshingly mosquito free. Turns out that campground had a ginormous bat sanctuary right next to it. The lovely bats can eat damn near their own weight in mosquitos every damn night. I love the little guys and gals. And the chances of catching rabies from them is approximately the same as winning PowerBall. While being struck by lightening.

          • Jonny On Maui

            I find your non-fear of bats refreshing!

          • CJTX

            It really is kind of impressive. I imagine there’s video on youtube of it. It’s just like a cloud of bats, like block out the sun – a living, breathing cloud. Ever seen those flocks of birds that just infest an area, they have almost an aquatic quality when they fly? It’s like that…except scary scary bats. We had one or two get into the house when I was younger…I HATE bats. ;)

          • WomanInAMood

            Any wild animal that gets stuck in a house can be scary. Bats are actually quite shy as a rule. And harmless. Now racoons…those are vicious, dangerous beasties.

      • Man, the last time I did that, there were TONS of bats. Well, probably not tons, because bats are quite light. But, it was quite the sight. Maybe the bats were deciding to just BE WEIRD, so that they could do their part to keep Austin weird.

        Anyway, sorry you caught the production of Waiting for Gua-no.

      • CJTX

        Dude there’s so much good food within driving distance of you. As a fat guy and former denizen of austin I’m jealous.

  • CJTX

    Anybody heard from Daisy? I am now emotionally invested in the outcome of her grades – as if worrying about my own grades wasn’t enough stress. I am professional worrier.

    • data_ninja

      I’ve been out of college for about a decade now, but I still occasionally think back to my RA days. It was probably the most fun I had, and it was such a learning experience. However, my classes clearly suffered from it, so I only did it for 3 years. I actually had a job interview today where they asked me what my GPA was. I just kind of grinned and told them, as I think after a certain period of time it shouldn’t matter. I also say that because my GPA sucked. But hey, I graduated!

      • CJTX

        That makes us about the same age – but going back to community college for an AA has been…interesting.
        I rarely quote rod stewart, but “If I only I knew then what I knew now”.

        • data_ninja

          I might be a teensy bit older (not that this is a contest) because I didn’t go right after high school, and maybe I was in almost long enough to earn a doctorates despite only walking away with a bachelors….

          My point is, I’m out of the loop. What’s an ‘AA’?

          • CJTX

            Sorry, brain malfunctioning. I’m technically earning an AAS – which is Associate of Applied Science, even though there’s only basic math and nothing about mitosis. I am stupid – hence my second trip to college. ;)

          • data_ninja

            No judgement from over here! I did college for a semester, tried ‘the real world’, then after some jobs thought “let’s give that college thing one more try…”. And I did! But holeeee shit it’s not easy. Still, I stand by pursuing an education, and all of those trying to get one through whatever means. Good on you!

          • CJTX

            Aw thanks – it’s community college. On the one hand, it ain’t Harvard, one the other hand – people apparently struggle with it. I saw a documentary years and years ago basically talking about the different nature of intelligence. What is intelligence? That you can recite poetry from memory? That you can do math equations? That you can draw? That you can solve problems with creative solutions? Anyway, I am enjoying it…of course I don’t say that when tests are looming or assignments are due.

          • WomanInAMood

            CJ, do I have to give you the friendly lecture about how cool it is that you are going back to school again? And that I hate it when people talk badly about my friends?

          • CJTX

            Yes, yes my super cool awesome Wonkette friend. Self-deprecating humor is my binky…it’s safe and warm and I wrap myself in it. Just because it’s you, and I’m hoping no one else reads this, I’m friggin’ crushing things this semester. Did you see my comment where the teacher told me after class she would have given me a 150 score (out of 100) on my assignment cause it was that well researched and written, but it would have put the rest of the class on a curve? I celebrate every “excellent” that’s written on my tests/assignments. I’ve learned there’s a heirachy – good means really good, excellent means fuckin great.

            Now back to our regularly scheduled self-deprecation…it keeps me honest and working hard, taking nothing for granted. Love ya – CJTX

          • WomanInAMood

            I am seriously happy for you. You have earned that. Nothing wrong with self-depreciating humor, but please bear in mind that an honest pride in achieving something is a good thing as well.

          • CJTX

            Aw thanks. I am proud of it – but me being me, I mitigate my pride with 1) it’s community college, 2) I’m not working full time or taking care of kids/spouse/parents, etc. Being community college, there’s of course TONS of people who are working full time and then going to school at night. There are people doing that AND taking care of kids, picking them up at school, etc etc. I definitely wouldn’t have been able to do that. It’s one of the reasons I go out of my way to share notes, arrange study sessions, lend books, etc. One of my buddies is an Army SGT. She’s on base at like 6 in the morning, I don’t know how she does it (I spent 45 min. this weekend covering stuff she missed in a lecture cause she had leave she had to take and went to see her family out of state, family she hadn’t seen in literal years). My other good school friend is a single parent…her Mondays are just fucked because of school demands. She’s had to switch to working weekends to make up for lost work time due to school and taking care of her daughter. Those folks are my heroes.

          • Just because it’s community college doesn’t mean it isn’t worthwhile. One of my favorite professors was at a community college — and he was also one of the smartest people I’ve ever met, too. But, working at the little community college suited him at his age. He was tough, but fair. And fascinating.

          • CJTX

            It can be surprisingly intense, I have to admit. I totally thought it would be easier. Again, is it Harvard Law, no. But it’s more rigorous than I thought it would be.

          • WomanInAMood

            As well they should be. And you are helping them achieve goals. Well done, my friend, well fucking done.

          • CJTX

            I love you guys! I told my army friend – anything for a vet and a friend.

        • So, you DON’T want my body and you DON’T think I’m sexy, then?

          WELL, THANK YOU SO BLOODY MUCH!

          • CJTX

            Is that you Maggie Mae? And yes I literally laughed out lout. LLOL – I’m trying to start a “thing”. I want to start a “thing” before I die.

          • It’s late September, already. Let him go!

      • It always amuses me that when I was filling out job applications in my 40s and 50s that they always wanted to know what schools I had been to from age 6 and what grades I had achieved in my “O” levels at age 16. Of course they also asked for the names of “referees,” professional people who could vouch for your bona fides.

        Essentially these forms have not changed since the era of jobs for life and full employment.

    • Jonny On Maui

      She was down thread earlier, still worried about her grade…

      • CJTX

        I saw that – but no mention of the grade on her paper that she was supposed to get back tonight. I NEED TO KNOW!
        (And apparently I need to up the dosage on my meds. I guess I’m projecting. I desperately want to know my own grade on two tests I took this week, but I won’t get those back till Tues and Wed next week).

        • That’s not necessarily projecting, per se. If you are worried about your grades, I can see being able to bond with and get strength from someone else going through the same stress.

          • CJTX

            Totally true. There’s a sense of terrifying anticipation between when you take a test/turn in an assignment and getting it back. Did i get an F? Did I get an A? Did I get a Super A? DID I GET A SUPER F?

          • I don’t miss school. I do occasionally think about going back, so I can get a degree in one of the things that I couldn’t convince my parents to let me study. At this age, it would likely be Anth. But, then, I would be having to deal with papers and grades and … eh. There is already more than enough DRAMA! in my life.

          • CJTX

            I know exaclty what you mean…I really do. I liked my law classes last smeester cause it was lectures-test. T hat was all. I have assignments this semester. ANyway, how about give it a try? I’m all about compromise. Take a class – just one. See if you hate it or not. I’m having a lot of fun!

          • One of my regular passengers HATES MY GUTS (I’m going somewhere with this, but it’s going to be a bit of a trip), because he believes I did something I didn’t do. Because I’m totally NOT AN ASSHOLE, there’s NO WAY I’ve deliberately done nice things for other passengers while refusing to do anything nice for him (might not be a completely truthful statement). ANYWHO! I’ve been driving him on a daily basis, lately (before it was only occasionally), and, well, he’s been taking courses, too.

            Now, unbeknownst to him (but knownst to us), I was an English major, and I was damned good at it. And, wouldn’t you know it? He’s having trouble with his English teacher. Last night, she assigned him an essay (when according to him, she allowed everyone else to choose theirs) “When Time Flies, Where Does It Go?” He was letting off steam, and I just drove, like I always do. And here’s what I told him just before I dropped him off:

            Here’s what I would do. Time flying? No. Time does not fly. You even been on an airplane? Airlines have no concept of time. Time was essential to sailing. An accurate clock was the only way to know where you were during the daytime, so the development of a maritime clock was essential — and many governments considered their design to be state secrets. Meanwhile, there was still no reason for the common person to actually have a personal concept of time. At least, not until the railroads. Having affordable, accurate timepieces for railroad workers was very important. Trains using the same tracks had to coordinate carefully. If one engineer had a watch that was five minutes fast, and another one that was five minutes slow, that made a difference of ten minutes, which could lead to the wrong kind of connection. The railroads’ insistence on accurate time schedules put watches in the pockets of the masses. So, time would either be sailing, or take the train. “Time flies” is an inaccurate aphorism, like not being able to have one’s cake and eat it, too.

            I found out today he’s going to go with that basic angle. Here’s hoping he does well, because this ONE TIME, I wasn’t trying to be an asshole. . .

          • CJTX

            I love that! It’s so smart…it references things I’ve seen in documentaries regarding maritime clocks and trains. Good on ya. I find it really really rewarding to help out other students. You don’t get medals or millions of dollars for it, but it’s nice.

          • When Time flies he uses Virgin, at least according to DEATH.

            (Pratchett reference)

          • data_ninja

            “How to get a Super F: A true Data_Ninja story”
            So, I had some REAL bad issues with attendance in a particular class (and it was not the first time I had taken it), and the professor said that they will only grade the midterm and final. That is a poison pill to us lazy types. Anyways, I took the midterm, and didn’t make it back to the class until the day of the final. The school had a finals schedule, so that you knew what day your class would have it’s final (based on the time and day slot). Well, apparently during one of those ‘regular’ class sessions, they had said “Oh yeah, the final will not be taken in this room, but in a different one.” So on the scheduled day of the final, I showed up in… an empty classroom. I realized what had happened, and was too embarrassed to find out where the class had moved to do the final (not that I had studied well for it). So yeah, it goes without saying that I had to take that class again, because I got a Super F.

          • CJTX

            Heh, I was soooo bad my first time around in college. I just wanted passing grades and to get out. But what really made me think was your bit about being embarressed to find out. I have NO shame these days. I introduce myself to total strangers – including attractive women in their 20’s (ten years younger than me) nor gathering contact info and setting up study sessions (purely for study reasons, the 20-year-old attractive coeds have better options than me and I know that). Anyway, yeah, in class at the beginning of this semester no one wanted ot answer the instructor’s questions after the first assignment. I said, “shit, I’ll dive in. Here’s what I thought.”

          • data_ninja

            Don’t mistake shame for bravery! You sound courageous! Or foolish.. one of those ;)

          • CJTX

            IKR?

          • CJTX

            P.S. I failed weight lifting in college the first time, so don’t feel so bad. It was at 8 am class for phys ed credit. I was, let’s just say, having a LOT of fun in those days. Didn’t realize there was a final, didn’t read the handout, failed the final test. Doh.

          • Jonny On Maui

            You failed a class on moving heavy things?

            CJTX, that speaks volumes… ;-)

          • CJTX

            Aye, but in fairness, I was getting laid a lot. I swear to g_d Johnny, our TA’s for that were U of Texas football players. Huge, HUGE men who told me, “keep your back straight and your head up”. Okay then, thanks for that.

          • data_ninja

            I can guarantee you that pretty much any dream I have about college has the recurring aspect of “oh yeah, I haven’t shown up for that class yet, and oh yeah, I guess I’m going to have to repeat it… again.” It happens waaaaaaay more often than the high school “oh noes I forgot my locker combination! Whatever shall I do?”

    • DainBramage
      • CJTX

        My avatar makes sense, no?

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    Missed y’all today. Was out touring with an old friend. Be well, sleep tight, maybe some good snark in the AM!!!

    • data_ninja

      Wait, there’s an AM?

      • Ain’t one here. I think he’s making it up.

      • CJTX

        Heh, when I was living In Chicago, I was home on break and getting ready to fly back from Texas. The TX Mom told me it was 40 below – i said, “There’s a below? It gets below?” We don’t get below out here in the desert. ;)

        • cat cafe

          I know, I grew up in California, but lived back East (rural Massachusetts) for a couple of years. Was astonished merely at the fact that snow comes to YOU. Then when the temps went below zero, I became obsessively horrified with it and kept sending the hourly temperatures to my mom back in California. WHO NEEDS THAT!

          • CJTX

            As a tween, I remember tripping out that in there was snow in May up in Montana. MAY? Fuck it’s 90+ in may around these parts.

          • cat cafe

            One sunny spring day in western Massachusetts, I went out for a walk and DURING THE FUCKING WALK the temperature dropped fifty degrees and it started fucking SNOWING. WHAT THE FUCK! Who needs that?!!

          • CJTX

            I once had to drive a huge expanse of texas in a day. It started rainy but warm, progressed into a damn blizzard halfway there, and was frickin’ sunny and HOT by the time I was about 3/4 there.

          • cat cafe

            That is just heinous! At least in SoCal the weather takes its good time to change!

        • For those of you on the left side of the USA, climate change means worse winters.

          Via Peter Sinclair’s Climate Crocks – Weather Whiplash: Extreme Winters on the Increase

      • cousin itt

        Well, I AM, for one.

  • Jamoche

    https://www.engadget.com/2016/09/22/oculus-founder-palmer-luckey-secretly-funds-pro-trump-meme-magi/ “Oculus founder Palmer Luckey secretly funds pro-Trump ‘meme magic’.” Or not so secretly anymore. If there’s anything worse than a Silicon Valley douchebrogrammer who thinks he ought to be insanely successful, it’s one who actually is insanely successful.

    • I knew there was a reason why I didn’t like Oculus Rift, other than the obvious ones, of course.

    • data_ninja

      I saw that story, and thought it interesting since Facebook owns Oculus Rift, and I remember reading some murmuring about Facebook not being happy with Trump (I’m not talking about the conservative news stories not trending bullshit either). While people are entitled to their own opinions and crap, it makes me wonder if certain people will be butting heads soon.

      ETA: Not this article in particular, but I think the spirit of it still stands.

    • data_ninja

      Same story, different site:

      “The American Revolution was funded by wealthy individuals,”
      NimbleRichMan wrote on Saturday. Luckey confirmed to The Daily Beast he
      penned the posts under his Reddit pseudonym. “The same has been true of
      many movements for freedom in history. You can’t fight the American
      elite without serious firepower. They will outspend you and destroy you
      by any and all means.”

      Am I reading this wrong, or is this asshat projecting with zero percent self awareness?

      • WomanInAMood

        So today is opposite day? I had no idea.

      • Yep.

        Also, is he under the impression that the American Revolution was fought against “the American elite”? Sounds legit.

      • btwbfdimho

        What about those four million unpaid workers from Africa? No contribution?

        Reminds of this paragraph from Toni Morrison, that always brings me down on tears.
        “The problem, then, is not the stories we tell; it’s the stories we don’t tell. In 1988, after her own story about a runaway slave, “Beloved,” won the Pulitzer Prize, Toni Morrison described the scope of this silence. “There is no place you or I can go, to think about or not think about, to summon the presences of or recollect the absences of slaves,” Morrison said. “There is no suitable memorial or plaque or wreath or wall or park or skyscraper lobby. There’s no three-hundred-foot tower. There’s no small bench by the road. There is not even a tree scored, an initial that I can visit or you can visit in Charleston or Savannah or New York or Providence, or, better still, on the banks of the Mississippi.”

      • The American Revolution was largely funded by the French Monarchy, so getting help from a Russian near dictator is cool?

      • Basket of Vagendas

        Well,

        This will undoubtedly lead to fears that real-life interaction will suffer, just as smartphones and the internet have created a generation of screen junkies, but Luckey dismisses this. “If they say its anti-social I absolutely disagree. If I want to talk to our office in Japan, or China or London, I can fly there and burn hundreds of dollars of jet fuel, or I can do it in virtual reality.

        “I grew up using the internet and social media and I think VR is going to be in the same position. But if it cuts down on real life interactions, that’s not necessarily a bad thing.”

    • Basket of Vagendas

      What’s kind of interesting is that this story hit the day his headsets went on sale in England.

  • Jonny On Maui

    Time to prep for tomorrow’s jungle taming. Good night my fine friends!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JzFgvdo4Pk&list=RDPMLsF8ajI6U&index=3

    • WomanInAMood

      Tame like the wind! Sleep well!

  • btwbfdimho

    Looks like it’s bedtime for me… Goodnight!
    https://mattsko.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/shattering-illusions-gif.gif

    • WomanInAMood

      Pleasant dreams.

  • WomanInAMood

    Good night, and sleep tight!

  • Oh, HEY! How can I raise my blood pressure, tonight? A documentary about Bob Jones and the Klan in North Carolina? Ooooh! That sounds great!

    Wait. I thought this was a historical documentary, not a fucking recap of last week, a this Trump rally?

    • At least you have a blood pressure, all you really need is a safety valve.

  • eddi

    The Bundy lawyer gets called for flogging wrong dead horse.
    Judge to Ammon Bundy’s lawyer: If he continues to defy her orders, she’ll hold him in contempt
    http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2016/09/judge_threatens_ammon_bundy_if.html#incart_river_index

      • The Wanderer

        LMAO

      • Snark Tank of Deplorables

        I know I’ve lived a fairly sheltered life, but HOLY FUCK, what’s happened to dildos? Please tell me that purple one in the front isn’t grape flavored! I mean, I don’t often go shopping for sex toys (sorry, I’m kinda vanilla), but I don’t recall that much variety in shape, size and color from when I have seen them in the wild….

        • I believe that at least 3 are butt plugs (the matt black and the red one at the front while the metallic purple beaded one is vibrating anal beads.

          Flavouring tend to come from the lube.

    • anwisok

      Oregonlive has done some really good work on this whole ordeal.

      • eddi

        They are my go-to for Oregon news.

  • eddi

    And on the things are getting better side. Just to show Portland is not just one crazy trial.

    Portland converts 600 restrooms to gender-neutral, ‘all-user’
    http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2016/09/portland_converts_600_restroom.html#incart_river_index

    • Shannanigans

      “The new signs show “what’s behind the door,” city officials said, “not who should be using the facility.”

      Brilliant!

      • eddi

        This how normal people deal with changes.

  • freakishlystrong

    I’ve been saying this for years. Cray one L Michele said it out loud at one of the “presidential debates”. Conservatives want China’s economic model. Manufacturing everything, zero regulations, no sick time or days off and slave wages. They’ve said this over and over. And people keep voting for them.

  • Basket of Vagendas

    https://mobile.twitter.com/BBCNewsnight/status/779074944881741824

    Presumably this also explains the Tea Party

    Republican Rep. Robert Pittenger, whose district includes part of the city of Charlotte, said in an interview with the BBC Thursday that black residents of the North Carolina city “hate white people because white people are successful and they’re not.” The day after African American protesters shut down a highway and demonstrated in Charlotte over the fatal police shooting of a black man, Keith Lamont Scott, Pittenger, a second-term congressman, blamed the community’s frustrations on “the welfare state.”

    Pittenger added, “We’ve put people in bondage so that they can’t be all that they’re capable of being.”