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Oh god, Wonkette's bringing out the kittens
Oh god, Wonkette’s bringing out the kittens

Richard Keenan, the former mayor of Hubbard, Ohio, was a deeply holy and Christlike man. In fact, in a 2010 interview with the Youngstown Vindicator, Keenan spoke openly about how very dedicated he was to serving the people and living out his faith:

Keenan said the opportunity for government service should make officials want to do their best. “It’s not about me … it’s about serving the people,” he said.

Keenan also brings another element to the office. “I’m a Christian. Dedicating my life to Jesus has changed my life,” he said. “Don’t preach it, but live it” is a practice he takes to heart. That idea is wrapped up in wanting the best for his town.

That sounds lovely, doesn’t it? What sounds less lovely is that last month, Keenan found himself in court pleading “not guilty” to molesting a young girl for a three-year period, starting when she was just four years old. The “not guilty” part is a little weird, given that he had already confessed his “sin” to his wife, his pastor, a social worker, his brother-in-law and his sister-in-law.

The girl had told Keenan’s wife, Diana, about the molestation, and when she confronted him about it, he confessed. He was then apparently whisked away to a psychiatric facility, where he often spoke about the molestation in group therapy.

richard-keenan-800x430

The filing is described in the Youngstown Vindicator:

The filing states Keenan also admitted sexual abuse during “group discussions” while he was in the ValleyCare Trumbull Memorial Hospital psychiatric ward.

The filing goes into extensive detail about each of the purported admissions.

It states that after Keenan voluntarily admitted himself into a Warren psychiatric facility after his release from Trumbull, he told a social worker “he was feeling suicidal because he had been molesting the child victim for approximately the past two years.” It states that during those discussions, Keenan blamed the victim for initiating the acts and called her a “willing participant.”

It also states that Keenan had “in-depth” conversations with the pastor about the sexual contact.

Yeah, you sure would think that with alllllllll of that confessin’ that Keenan would not have the balls to say he’s not guilty, but apparently he does! Because some of those confessions could be considered privileged, prosecutors may have trouble getting them into evidence. In Ohio, however, if a spouse wants to testify against their partner, they are allowed to do so. And for some reason, I’m not too sure that Diane is going to decline. I sure as hell wouldn’t. Someone who thinks a 4-year-old is seducing them is probably not someone you wanna be married to or protect.

Keenan is currently out on a $75,000 bond, and will go to trial in April. He faces a life sentence if convicted.

[Youngstown Vindidcator | RawStory]

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  • dslindc

    Ok, we should probably lock him up and lose the keys.

    Also, needs moar kittens.

  • Nounverb911

    Which Cabinet position will President Trump appoint him to?

    • therblig

      Faith Based Initiatives, of course.

    • Taco Brown

      Ministry of Morals

    • Deplorable Ron

      Child Protective Services.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Child Protective Services.

  • Jenny, Manocidal Vagendiac

    Argh!!!!! Rules prevent me from detailing what should really happen to this motherfucker. Fuck this shit I’m out!

    (By out I mean I am going to go talk shit on some other thread.)

    • MynameisBlarney

      Yeah…same here.

    • arrrghle

      Well, if it’s any help, as someone who was raped for the first time at a similarly tender age, it’s actually therapeutic to read these comments and hear how people feel about it. And statistics indicate I’m probably not the only one. So your time here was not wasted.

      • I Only Like Cats

        I was quite a bit older (and part of my memory is blacked out so I don’t know if I fainted or pieces are missing) and what happened to me wasn’t as evasive so I think I actually prefer the being distracted with jokes and pictures of kittens part. Also because I can’t describe what a monster this person is.

        • Swampay

          And to you, best wishes for your healing.

      • Swampay

        best wishes for your healing.

  • Hemp Dogbane

    Captain Kangaroo libel !

  • MynameisBlarney

    I am generally not a capital punishment type of person…
    But in cases like this…

    • Historicat

      No, as Westley described it in The Princess Bride to The Pain.

      • MynameisBlarney

        As you wish…

  • anwisok
  • The Deplorable Ms. MLG

    Vomit.

    Poor baby girl. It’s not your fault, little girl, no matter what anyone says. Not. Your. Fault.

  • kindness

    I don’t believe in Hell myself but no doubt there is an entire circle of pedophiles down there that think saying the child wanted these cretins to rape them exconerates them some how. Logic, how does it work again?

  • Crystalclear12

    I saw the kittens but read it anyway. What was I thinking!?!?

  • limberrat

    My eldest girl is 4…that could have been her…**eye twitches**… Where is this bastard being held. I’d like a few minutes to “talk” to him.

  • DainBramage

    Snark circuit has been blown by this story. Fuck.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    There will be an addendum to this story that includes something I can make funny snark about, right?

  • elviouslyqueer

    And boom, I’m out.

    http://i.imgur.com/NsJOJCk.gif

  • Shibusa
  • Nounverb911

    Is it Drinky thing time yet?

  • Nounverb911
    • Joe Beese

      Reciprocity.

  • Joe Beese

    he was feeling suicidal because he had been molesting the child victim for approximately the past two years

    Don’t fight it, Dick.

    • Marceline

      Right? Clearly impulse control isn’t his thing so….

  • Taco Brown

    “It states that during those discussions, Keenan blamed the victim for initiating the acts and called her a “willing participant.”

    How could a rational person even respond to this. Without votes I mean.

  • Spotts1701

    Would you excuse me for a moment, please?

  • Scooby

    God fucked up..the commandment to honor thy mother and father should have read honor your children!

    • DustBowlBlues

      Wouldn’t be the first time.

    • JMP

      But then god went a little further than that and told parents they should murder children who are too disobedient; because the god of the Bible is a monster and absolutely none of the hideous rules he lays down should be treated as moral since most are the exact opposite.

      • Scooby

        Deuteronomy right?

  • JMP

    Being Christian “brings another element to the office”? Considering that about 70% of American are Christian, that actually just brings a very typical and unremarkable element to office; I still can’t believe how so many Christians like to talk about their religion as if it’s somehow rare and special instead of commonplace to the point where it’s often assumed being any other religion (or lack there of) is what is notable. Nobody cares that you’re just like everybody else.

    As for the rest of the story, it’s just too ugh and depressing to talk about, grr.

    • GoutMachine

      I never thought about it that way, but you’re right. And a large portion of them think they’re a severely persecuted minority. So therefore any accommodation to others is an existential threat.

  • Candy Apple

    Well, that’s it, I’m done with the internet for today. :(

  • I’m a… I’m a…I’m just going to sit here silently and think about all of the horrible painful things that I wish upon this man that I can’t write about here.

  • Frank Underboob

    “willing participant.”
    Fuuuuuuuuck.
    Any time some asshole claims that rape culture isn’t a thing, I’m going to point them at this article.

    • DinkyBossetti

      She “initiated.” What was he supposed to do? Tell a 4-year-old no?
      Gah. SO GROSS!!!!!

    • GoutMachine

      FOUR GODDAMN YEARS OLD!

  • mancityfooty .
  • Beanz&Berryz

    OK… the dog/kid scratching gif is helping alot…. but I still want to cry… damn…

  • Gentle Robot

    The Youngstown Vindicator? Are you fucking kidding me with that name?

    • GoutMachine

      It’s a bit metal for a small-town paper, no?

  • tehbaddr

    He’s good to go, confessed and his lord has forgiven him.

    • Deplorable Ron

      Lucky him.

    • FlownOver

      And that had better be enough forgiveness for him, ’cause he’s getting fuck-all from the rest of the world.

  • Msgr_Pheasant_Plucker’s_Son

    He doesn’t even seem nice.

  • Lulu Mac

    Because it always makes me giggle…

  • Lizzietish81

    So, last year a friend of mine in psychology forwarded an article on pedophiles who had never molested anyone trying to get help. The main subject realized his problem as a teenager, and asked his mom to find him a therapist. The therapist was shocked to hear about his problem and then, after looking into the law, found she had to report him and tell his mom.

    Now he runs a support group that has to use code words to avoid being shut down.

    Cracked did a good follow up. I’d link it, but their search is broken and I don’t want to keep typing Pedophilia into the search engine, especially at work. But the upshot was about the sheer difficulty in understanding pedophilia and helping people who are struggling with it.

    Fuckers like this make it more difficult.

    • arglebargle

      Pretty sure I saw that on Salon a couple of months ago.

    • arglebargle
    • starkitty

      This guy is suffering for the fact that public awareness of the condition virtually coincides with an actual crime. And the hard numbers of who has the condition vs who is a predatory offender isn’t well known. It possible rape figures are the same percentage as the main population.

      I’m usually not a fan of renaming instead of reeducating(I still don’t use ‘safety belts’ –it’s a seatbelt dammit), but this might be one of those times renaming to distinguish criminal offenders would be useful. Because needing to run a black ops support group is just silly.

      • Bobby

        Well start with Every Muslim has the condition, it is a prerequisite to being accepted into the religion, so that is 1.9 billion pedophiles right there, but because most of them live under Sharia law where pedophilia is legal, we don’t ever get to hear about it.

  • PubOption

    He spoke to the Youngstown Vindicator, so he has to be vindicated.

    • The Wanderer

      I hear that word (‘Vindicator’), and I’m reminded of the interwar Vindicator bomber. It had an unfortunate tendency to lose its wings while in flight.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    It’s always the Jeebus-addled who are the kid rapers. Amazing.

    • GoutMachine

      Huh. Another straight Christian molesting children. I thought that was the sole purview of the gheys?

  • Marceline

    Let me just jump to how this will turn out for me:

    This comment has been deleted by a moderator.

  • Joe Beese

    ..

    • mancityfooty .

      somehow the pics of the huge gorilla with the little bitty kitten always get me
      I mean, they could pound that kitten into mush, but they’re just there, safe as houses

    • SeekingBarbie

      Keenan probably thinks he’s better than animals because he’s created in the image of his deity.

    • The Wanderer

      “I shall hug him and squeeze him and I shall call him George . . . “

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Stories like this make me rethink my position on the death penalty.

  • Turkish71

    Mayor Keenan’s next roommate.

    VERY likely that the new guy “initiates the acts” and is a “willing participant.”

    Have fun, asshole.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      LOL… OK… “Have fun, asshole” in this context made me laugh out loud…

    • anwisok

      Friendly warning: Dok swings a mean banhammer. You may want to read over The Rules, lest you run afoul of them.

      • Turkish71

        Hey, I love Dok. But if Dok, or anyone else, wants to banhammer me for wishing ill on a child molester, well, so be it…

      • FlownOver

        OK, then, I hope he gets skullfucked a lot.

        [“4. If you wanna be disgusting pigs and talk about skullfucking your enemies, then your editrix, as a one-eyed man-king in the land of the blind, will not take offense.”

        –Trix]

        • anwisok

          Gotta know the Rules, if you want to push the envelope.

    • GoutMachine

      2. No wishing or ideating on physical threats to those with whom you disagree (i.e., “machine-gunning” or hoping for their deaths in any other sense than that you hope they die lonely and alone). This includes wishes for people to be raped in prison — not only is that barbaric, it’s also a huge cliché and we are tired of it. Yes, that includes veiled references to a bad person meeting their cellmate Bubba. Rape is evil, and we do not wish it on anyone, not even evil people.

      Read more at http://wonkette.com/592365/rules-for-commenting-radicals-the-lion-killer-update#xUzluDgew3wW41im.99

      • Turkish71

        Normally, I would have no trouble agreeing with and adhering to Rule #2… however, when talking about a grown man raping a 4 year old girl… well, prison rape seems a fairly reasonable (and light) punishment…

        Also, the language “to those with whom you disagree” implies that Rule # 2 applies to discourse with other commenters, not kiddie rapists…

  • Gentle Robot

    he told a social worker “he was feeling suicidal”

    See this is why I’m not 100% against suicide

    • GoutMachine

      Because of what he did, or because he got caught?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The latter, of course.

      • DinkyBossetti

        Definitely because he got caught. He thinks it was her fault, that she initiated it and was a willing participant. Even though she was only four years old when it started. Fuck.

        • wavicles

          “That child ruined my life.”

      • The Wanderer

        Yes.

  • limberrat

    I thought about it a little more and grrrAAAGHHHH!!!!!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VqjfU0R32I

    • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

      It’s funny, the split screen bullshit in that movie makes me feel sorta like Hulking out myself…

    • The Wanderer

      “Hulk have anger management issues! Hulk smash!”

  • DinkyBossetti

    “In Ohio, however, if a spouse wants to testify against their partner, they are allowed to do so. And for some reason, I’m not too sure that Diane is going to decline.”

    You have more faith in people than I do. I would have thought she’d call the police when the girl told her what happened and then her husband admitted it when she confronted him. But instead he was whisked away to a psychiatric facility.

    • richardgrabman

      Ohio is not a community property state. That, and not knowing who his friends are means there there may be very good reasons not to testify against him.

  • Mpeg

    *regards photo*

    Eewwww, he has the same bad combover as Otis in Henry Portrait of a SerialKiller ewwwww……</b?

  • Señor Skwerl

    Seriously, “not guilty” is just a way of saying, “let’s talk plea deal”. Because they are not going to let this guy walk.

  • anna rampage

    Not defending this at all, but I do believe the old schoolz biblez ways condone selling children off into slavery and marriage, pretty much regardless of their age…

    Last time I check, it seemed like a 11 year old virgin girl was going for 3 chickens, a good milking goat and a handful of silver coins…

  • Shan

    He was then apparently whisked away to a psychiatric facility,

    Fuck what happened to HIM (with a bundle of rusty deformed and capped #10 rebar votes). I want to know if the child is getting help.

  • anwisok
    • mancityfooty .

      you know, it’s like she could just ask for them instead of making it mandatory

  • Oblios_Cap

    Brings a whole new meaning to the “How much for the leetle girl” line. What a sick puppy.

  • ClarkJoe

    He’s a Christian and has already talked about this is all with his pastor, so of course he’s not guilty. Isn’t that all it takes? Nothing weird about it. It’s magic! //

  • FauxAntocles

    This post in Banhammer bait.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Plus also too.. a potential life sentence and he’s out on $75k bond!? Why not just take the keys to his Chevy Caprice and call it good…

  • I Only Like Cats

    [REDACTED for graphic details] and [REDACTED] and most importantly [REDACTED for pissiness]. And those are my thoughts. Die sad in prison, please.

  • cousin itt

    Crimes like this are committed by people from all across the religious and political spectrum. There is no joy in making fun of everyday pedophiles. The horror is that such pedophiles exist and every day, our society has few tools with which to apprehend them until after they have violated our children.

    • I Only Like Cats

      Really? Because I’ve never once been around any person who has attacked a person after being given a proper view of consent and a liberal outlook on life, and other than Bill Clinton’s accuser, have heard of very few. And I’ve been assaulted, as have most of my female family members. People who have a proper view of sex and consent DON’T act on impulses and “common everyday” people attracted to children DO NOT attack children, they seek help. These people flock to the right and Christianity (and occasionally a different conservative religion) because they’ll protect and defend them, even though they’ve proven themselves to be the scum of the Earth. Any REAL liberal who has ever done anything without consent will spend the rest of their life in penitence seeping with remorse. These guys will not.

      • cousin itt

        I did not mean to imply the sane would commit crimes of the insane. It is often impossible to know if someone who claims to be a liberal or conservative or whatever really is such. And that’s why posts like this would not attract me to read Wonkette if I happened upon this blog for the first time.

  • Parchment Scroll

    That’s a long list of people we know for a fact he confessed to. Pretty sure in-laws’ testimony is admissible in court.

  • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

    We have a lot of sex offenders incarcerated where I work. One thing I’ve often noticed, and commented about to other staff, is how the average age of inmates in sex offender units is much higher. And most of the really old guys are child molesters. Because they almost never change or stop offending. We actually had an inmate who was the spitting image of Herbert from “Family Guy”. Blaming the victims is a common pattern among these creeps.

    • Señor Skwerl

      Of course, because there is no other way to justify it.

      • I Only Like Cats

        It cannot be justified. I have accidentally fallen into the weird but grey area legal parts of the internet a couple of times (I think I was looking for PG fanfiction) and these people write some weird, weird stuff.

    • BrianW

      My favorite to hear from these bastards was always, “If you’ll just let me explain what happened…” My response was always, “I don’t give a flying fuck. Get away from my desk or we’ll have this conversation at full volume.” THAT usually ended the conversation with them.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Youngstown? I think he was mayor of the wrong city…

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Is it against the rules to not care one bit what happens to him in prison, where he may learn in an impactful way, about consent?

    • anwisok

      You’re steering close to the line, but I think you stayed on the safe side of it. Barely. Well done!

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Thank you. It is not easy without taking the safe ‘vote’ inclusion!

  • ViveLaRes

    Out on bond??!!!

    • GoutMachine

      Please tell me he’s not allowed near schools and such during this time.

      • JoeChristmas

        Make sure his 2nd Amendment rights are maintained!

    • JoeChristmas

      IKR, $75,000??!?

    • anna rampage

      Yep, molest a 4 year old for a couple years straight, and a mere $7500, and a little collateral will get you released from prison, at least on the short term…

    • MamaBrown

      well, to be fair, its not like he’s black or anything.

    • Bear OmNomNom

      Well, now we know where Judge Aaron Persky got transferred to.

    • Good_Trouble_Yall

      It would be wrong to hope that the shame of his upcoming trial, plus the fact that he is not under suicide vote watch in his jail cell, spares votes the courts the necessity of actually trying him votes. Wrong. So, so wrong.

  • proudgrampa

    “She was a willing participant.” This sounds like that bullshit they espouse in NAMBLA: a five-year-old can consent to sex.

    What the ever-loving fuck?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I think we found the perfect guy to handle The Donald’s donations to NAMBLA

    • anwisok

      “Sex by eight, or else its too late!” *shudder*

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        just ask that good Christian Duck Commander guy

  • Belasaurius

    [REDACTED]

  • Blackest Noobs

    yet people wanna string up Hillz on a noose but does absolutely nothing about this piece of shit….so yeah…nice……

    • cat cafe

      It’s all the same thing. Women are chattel, who should do as they’re told, and allow themselves to be used as sex toys from childhood on, and not do things like assert bodily autonomy or seek professional power and CERTAINLY not run for President.

  • timpundit

    My god. 4 years old. I can’t tell you what I hope happens to him, but that little girl better be given everything she needs to get over the trauma of this and I don’t just mean right now I mean for the rest of her life.

    In the whole history of cats there has never been enough kittens to make this less horrific, but I appreciate the effort.

    • I Only Like Cats

      She better be spoiled forever. And if someone could pick up Obama’s time machine and help her delete her memory engrams that’d be good too.

    • cat cafe

      I agree and can only offer a doggie.

  • JoeChristmas

    Wait, according to the teabaggers, deplorables, and Xian Value Voters it’s the LGBT that are the molesters.

    • GoutMachine

      Projection, baby, projection!

  • Gorillionaire

    Would this be a bad time to mention that The Donald’s peen has ALLEGEDLY spent a fair amount of time with underage girls?

    • cat cafe

      Please, no mention of Donald’s peen

  • coozledad

    That there’s a lot of this going on in churches and the Republican party just demonstrates that rape is an algorithm of the authoritarian psyche. They’re in fact inseparable. How can you move to curb abuse like this when it’s an identifiable trait of the ostentatiously religious and one major political party. it’s not like you can refer to them as undesirable.

    • AngryKatie

      Interesting point about rape and the authoritarian psyche. I hadn’t thought of it that way before.

      • sw19tacotruck

        Hence the “willing participant” bit.

        Sorry, got to go throw up again.

    • BeachBum

      I wish someone would do the easy maths on that algorithm.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Could be something to that. Then again, JW Gacy was a Democrat. So you never can tell.

    • cat cafe

      It’s also an algorithm of the “women as chattel” part of the authoritarian psyche. See:Duggars

    • starkitty

      I’d say more precisely, rape is one of the many dysfunctions resulting from authoritarianism. Slavery and domestic abuse are others.

      If you take the authoritarian premise x owns y, and y has no right to object, eventually something really shitty will happen because absolute power does corrupt absolutely. And with the religious vector of the magical sky god, who no one can check for confirmation, these people are only limited by their imaginations and what the law will let them get away with.

      Someone(Neil Gaiman?) pointed out the historical priest/pope/kings of of the Byzantium era(? to tired to Google right now) were the worst. Sure, kings could be awful, and so could popes, but put them together and omg watch out. Too much power. Of course none of them lasted long.

  • anna rampage

    Thank god this guy lives in Ohio and has no chance of getting that Judge Pesky guy presiding over the trial.

  • Belasaurius

    I dunno, a bunch of people at a Trump rally shouting “ni**ers” sounds pretty fucking deplorable to me

  • Dr.Zoidberg

    I can’t say here what I wish would happen to this disgusting person, but I’m sure as hell gonna think it.

    • hendenburg2

      with votes

      • BrianW

        No, not with votes. I’m with Zoidberg here, the banhammer would hit both of us in a heartbeat if I said what I thought about this asshole.

      • sw19tacotruck

        nope, even the quality, density and toxicity of the votes cannot be discussed on this occasion. But oh am I thinking it.

  • proudgrampa

    I am glad that the girl was able to tell someone about it (his wife, no less), but just where the fuck were the little one’s PARENTS in all this???

    • arrrghle

      At church, probably.

      • Boscoe

        Zing!

    • Cannedclamscanner

      This is very, very important! Do NOT blame parents at least wit out more info. So often child rapists and molesters are charming and o so good at hiding their horrific actions. They might even seem to be the kind of adult you want a child to be around
      Good people often don’t know.

      • Frank Underboob

        On the other hand, many parent enable the abusers, & refuse to listen to the child when they say something. Hell, some even punish them for ‘lying’.

  • redarmyzombie

    …Fuck it, my cat is paying his Cuddle Tax today, whether he likes it or not…

    • BeachBum

      No taxation without cuddlesation. Its in the constitution.

      • sw19tacotruck

        catstitution, surely?

        • therblig

          definitely in the Dogclaration but with more slobber

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Apparently, I have a tea party cat. Because it’s all feed me feed me feed me, and get the fuck away from me I don’t cuddle.

    • What is this cuddle tax of which you speak?

      • redarmyzombie

        It is the method of payment he provides to us in lieu of rent.

  • sw19tacotruck

    Okay, time to break out the

  • Callyson

    This calls for more than one:

    • hendenburg2

      What the heck is that panda doing?

      • The Wanderer

        High grade weed?

      • parkii

        I’m pretty sure that panda is waving.

      • Callyson

        Waving, I think. Or pleasuring herself maybe. Either way, a much better sight to see than the photo of this asshole rapist FFS.

    • cousin itt

      That won’t help. You all know me and my devotion to the snark. This story would be deserving of being published in many different venues. But not here.

      • I agree with you. And in general we (US, not wonkette) don’t deal at all well with sex offenders and sex crimes.

        I often wonder if people take to religion or strict conservative principles as some kind of messed up self medicating.

    • Boscoe

      MOAR!!!1!

    • The Wanderer

      Oh HAI!

  • GHERKINS OF TRUTH!

    Sorry, I don’t give a vote what bad things might happen to this guy’s ballot.

    • therblig

      hanging chads would seem appropriate

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Only one thing to take from something like this: Keep an eye out, everyone, and notice when children start acting strangely. That’s the main alert you’re going to get. Adults can make up stories, cover their tracks, etc. But check in with the kids you know – there’s a good chance that something about their dress, routine, demeanor, etc. will change if they’re being subjected to something weird.

  • anon_the_great

    It’s easy to confess yer sins to your imaginary friend and your god bothering cohorts when there are no real, lasting consequences for doing so. We Secularists are not so forgiving as to forgo the penance part of trying to make things right. Several years of jail time and a lifetime of court supervision are appropriate.

    I do hope the Mayor does come to why he raped a child, sincerely repent for his actions, and commit to doing good in the world to atone for his crimes. That, and that he never be unchaperoned around children for the rest of his life.

    • Me not sure

      Imaginary forgiveness comes easy, legal forgiveness not so much.

      • Deplorable Ron

        What burns my biscuits is that, far too often, the imaginary forgiveness is allowed to override the legal forgiveness.

        • Cannedclamscanner

          THIS!

        • Me not sure

          Sky daddy to the rescue. Go, sky daddy, go!

    • bookish

      If he did that to me or my child there would be no forgiveness.

  • Tony Alexander

    in a perfect world that raging sack of dick pudding would have his limbs hacked of with a rusty blade, and then be beaten to death with said limbs!

    fuck him!

  • BeachBum

    ” Consent” He keeps using that word. I don’t think it means what he thinks it does.

  • natoslug

    You’re interpreting “suffer little children” wrong, motherfucker! I won’t even flirt with the banhammer today, just wish that you learn that what you did was in fact wrong, and grow enough of a conscience to suffer for it every fucking moment of the rest of your miserable fucking life.

    I need my snark back. Or ponies. More motherfucking ponies and motherfucking kittens in this motherfucking post.

    • Me not sure

      Sorry, all I’ve got is a stoat.

      • Suttree

        Can we feed Keenan to a caravan of stoats, with votes?

        • Me not sure

          That hits just the right notes.

  • Boscoe

    It looks like there were a couple parts of your article that were missing. Because I am helpful, I’ve filled them in for you below:

    “It’s not about me … it’s about serving the people [my dick],”

    Keenan is currently out on a $75,000 bond, and will go to trial in April. He faces a life sentence if convicted [so he will go “off the grid” and never be seen again, the end].

  • chortlingdingo

    Cuddle time with my ratties. I really need it after this one.

    • The Wanderer

      D’aww!

    • Deplorable Ron

      There’s something truly wonderful about rattie yawns.

      • Vagendadentacohontas

        Being that adorable must be exhausting!

        • Deplorable Ron

          That’s why they sleep so much.

    • bookish

      Domestic or “fancy” rats (because we fancy them, doncha know) make wonderful pets. They are smart and affectionate and will even respond to their names. I had a ratty girl named Zelda, because she had a black mask like Zorro. Very sweet.

    • Parchment Scroll

      Our rats’ new cage arrived today. They are super freaked out but they have so much space now! Also, we did some cuddles too.

      • chortlingdingo

        Nice! I upgraded to a single critter nation cage a few months ago and my girls love the space. One of them just passed the 3 year mark and so doesn’t take advantage of all the leg room much anymore.

  • rosenbomb

    Funny how being a Christian doesn’t automatically make you a good person.

    • cousin itt

      Or Muslim or Jewish or Hindu or Atheist or Buddhist or any damn thing. This is about mental illness and how our society fails to deal with it until it is too late.

      • rosenbomb

        Absolutely. On topic with mental illness– I hope the little girl gets all the help she needs and is able to form healthy relationships with others.

        • ahughes798

          If she(and her family)get the right kind of help, she will survive and thrive! I know. .

  • Blanche Beecham

    Bailiff, take that man’s pee-pee.

    • The Wanderer

      “Cut off his manhood, and feed it to the goats!”
      – Tyrion Lannister

  • hendenburg2

    Moar Kitteh!

  • Bear OmNomNom

    Is a “Youngstown Vindicator” like a Louisville Slugger? Because if so, I’ve got some thoughts…

    • Cannedclamscanner

      Nicely done. No bat hammering for you.

  • NoMore Moose

    He spoke to god and he is forgiven. He feels bad, mkoy.
    Excuse me while I go vomit.

  • Layla13

    Shameless predators like this are who we should be afraid of, not the transgendered person who needs to use a bathroom.

  • Mavenmaven

    But… he has Jesus in his heart, so he knows he’s OK, not like you liberals destined for eternal hellfires. .

    • The Wanderer

      Always brings up a question I like to bash Christianists with: If the murderer confesses / gets baptized / accepts Jeeezus / etc., he gets to go to Heaven because he’s forgiven.
      What about his victim, who he has killed with all of their sins still intact?
      Some elements of justice missing there, methinks.

      • Deplorable Ron

        I never got the sense that any of the Abrahamic religions were especially concerned with justice. Punishment, yes, but not justice.

      • Mavenmaven

        This was famously asked with regards to Eichmann after he met with a priest prior to his execution.

        • The Wanderer

          It’s a good question to ask.

  • Mr. Blobfish
  • AndyC316

    Remember when we all thought Anthony Weiner was a total fuckup? Well he still is, but not as much as this guy ?

    • sw19tacotruck

      Not even in the same greater metropolitan area, lat alone zip code

  • UnsaltedSinner

    Kittens just ain’t enough. I’m gonna need a puppy.

  • parkii

    $75,000 bond? No. No, no, no. Jail or back to the psych ward.

  • Bemused

    May he achieve a true, visceral understanding of exactly how he has harmed that child, her family, his family, and the entire community. And may he be forced to confront that understanding on a daily basis as he sits alone in a cell for the rest of his miserable life.
    (and I don’t even need “with votes”)

    • cousin itt

      It’s quite possible he himself was subjected to such hideous violence early in his life.

      • Bemused

        It’s possible, but not as prevalent as media leads us to believe, and there are plenty of survivors who don’t go on to become abusers themselves.

        • cousin itt

          That does not invalidate my point. How then to understand the violence?

          • starfanglednut

            I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a neurological or genetic component to this type of behavior. I remember reading an article in NYT a few years back positing a neurological basis for sociopathy.

          • Swampgas_Man

            But he’s NOT a sociopath; he admitted feelings of guilt. Of course, that didn’t stop him, and won’t stop him the next time.

          • Slavakitty

            Just because he claims to feel guilt doesn’t mean he actually does. He just knows how to respond to accusations. It’s on p. 77 of the Pedophile Handbook. My ex had the darned thing memorized.

          • Vagendadentacohontas

            I’m not sure I even want to understand this sort of shit. That reminds me, I’m low on brain bleach again.

          • Bemused

            Sigh. Children do not choose to be abused, however adults choose to abuse or not to abuse. Regardless of the pain he may or may not have experienced in childhood, this is not an issue it is possible to be ignorant on. He did not succumb to a sudden impulse once or twice and either turn himself in or go to treatment, he abused the girl for 2 years.

            Sometimes people’s brain chemistry gets messed up with needs for power and sexual attraction and we don’t know how to fix pedophilia at this point (other than self restraint and offenders, especially ongoing offenders, tend to re-offend). There are almost certainly people who have sexual impulses for children who never offend, as well, but we don’t have any good studies for that.

  • The Wanderer

    Put him in the deepest, darkest, dankest, donkest cell under the prison.

    • sw19tacotruck

      Why do you hate donks!!!!

  • jesuswasablack

    “willing participant.”

    What does that mean, she didn’t put him in a stress position, or kick him in the balls? She’s a fucking 4 year old kid?

    http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3199/2931701642_101fc4e860_o.jpg

    • The Wanderer

      Ooh, the skull-crusher. Good one.
      Judas Chair, or the Tucker Telephone – those are my choices.

      • jesuswasablack

        The nice thing about the skull crusher is that you can stop just before the “participant” actually loses consciousness, prolonging the desired sensation!

        • The Wanderer

          Well, supposedly you can do the same with the others, up until he’s either impaled or electrocuted (with votes).

  • M.E. Lawrence

    The Freedom From Religion Foundation, staunch upholders of The Real Wall (that between state and church), will be interested in this; they take special notice of faith-obsessed folk who don’t live up to their preachin’,

    https://ffrf.org/

    • Vagendadentacohontas

      They are a fantastic organization and I’m proud to say I have been a supporter for 20 years and family who work there!

  • Tacosinencinitas

    Not gonna say what I’m thinking about his stay at “camp.” Nope. Not gonna do it. You can’t make me. La la la la la la.

    • phoenix00

      I don’t want to hear his “This one time at band camp” stories either.

  • Michael Loraine

    I hear John Hinckley just left a vacant padded room. This guy is not an ordinary slime-bag, he’s got some real problems.

    Does America try to help people like this, or do we just put them into prison to be killed? Hard to say. I haven’t sorted out my own thoughts and feelings about this yet.

    • Serai 1

      It’s hard to say if people like this can be fixed or not. Since the crime is considered so heinous, there’s really no will to do any real research or invest any money in trying to cure pedophiles.

      • Slavakitty

        There are certain disorders that won’t be cured because the “sufferer” doesn’t want to be cured. Not every pedophile acts on their impulses, but the ones that do have given themselves permission to do so.

        • Serai 1

          And? How is that a reason not to try and find out everything we can about how to cure these people? Murderers give themselves permission to do what they do every single day of the year. I don’t hear anyone saying we shouldn’t figure out how to cure murderers just because they murder. If we followed your logic, nobody who ever did anything wrong would be helped at all, because they “gave themselves permission” to do whatever they did, and thus are not worth helping. Let’s not try to find out why arsonists burn down buildings, they’re not worth the effort. Let’s put no effort into trying to cure rapists – after all, they “gave themselves permission” to rape, therefore there’s no reason whatsoever to try and figure out how to stop that. Punishment is the only answer, and we should never try to fix anybody.

          • starkitty

            I agree with your general point about learning why they do what they do, but you’ll have to accept, in the case where the perp has no empathy, there is no cure.

            Think about it less in terms of crimes that involve lack of empathy and life changing damage.

            The guy who kills because he was in a gang fight at 14, is not the same as the guy who kills because he wants the insurance payout for his wife.

            One is very misguided in a shitty situation with shitty options. The other is probably a sociopath.
            One will respond to treatment. Hell, if it wasn’t for the shitty situation, he probably wouldn’t have killed anyone every.

            The other will not respond to treatment and is uncurable, because no matter where he goes, he will kill for gain if he thinks he can get away with it.

            The thing is, many people in LE have gone on record saying predatory sex offenders don’t change. I believe them. Think about the level of lack of empathy it would take to violate someone’s body. I feel sorry if I accidentally step on someone’s toe. They don’t feel sorry for not so accidentally destroying someone’s life. The best you can hope for is they stop offending to stay out of jail.

          • Serai 1

            No, actually. I don’t have to accept that. For centuries, people thought that madness couldn’t be cured. Best to lock ’em up, so they can’t hurt anyone but themselves. We didn’t think it was possible to cure what we now call schizophrenics – until at some point, we did, and started looking for a cure. After a lot of time and effort, we found drugs that keep the symptoms at bat and help the sufferer live in society. We found the cure first and foremost because we wanted to find it – without that, there’s no hope. Sorry, but I don’t think it’s right to just throw up one’s hands and give up when it’s human lives we’re talking about.

            And you have to make up your mind about what and how this works. Either these people are of sound mind and willfully committing crimes, which means you can’t treat them as mad or defective but as morally culpable, or else they’ve got some kind of brain defect and aren’t responsible for their actions, thus necessitating treatment, not jail. Which is it – are they broken/crazy or are just plain evil? You can’t have it both ways.

          • starkitty

            Okay, guess you missed the bit that some people can be helped, but other can’t. We were not discussing biological problems with the brain, but developmental problems with empathy and consequences that leads to criminal behavior. And we have made a lot of progress, and some of that progress is knowing when it’s a lost cause: like when someone doesn’t want to be cured. I doubt we have anything more to say on the subject.

            But I will caution you on a point about brain defects and responsibility: as a veteran of the Abelism Wars of 2015(much virtual ink was spilled, don’t ask), people with mental illness take a dim (and loud) view of criminal behavior being explained by “mental illness”. I generally agree on this point, though I disagree that it in anyway suggests such people are not responsible for their behavior. Ironically some of these same people agree with me on THAT–while wildly misinterpreting other points, also loudly and with minimal restraint. Good times.

            Anyway, if anyone pops by and calls you ableist, this will be why. I don’t think you’re being abelist; just warning you your reasoning could come off that way.

          • Slavakitty

            I think you’ve misinterpreted my meaning. I’m all in favor of finding a way to get people to stop abusing one another. In no way did I suggest that anyone is not worth helping, just that some people refuse to be helped. I assume by “cure” you mean remove the desire to victimize another person. If you can conceive a way of doing so even when it is against the will of the offender, I’m sure the authorities would love to hear about it. My point, which starkitty seems to grasp, is that you can’t cure a person of the desire to indulge in their darker impulses unless they are willing to be cured.

  • chicken thief

    FOUR?! That’s a special kind of sick, motherfucker. Stay.in.the.hospital.

  • Deplorable Ron

    Has Huckabee publicly supported him yet?

    • phoenix00

      “He hasn’t married a Gay, so he’s fine”
      – Kim Davis

  • jesuswasablack
    • sw19tacotruck

      Is it within banhammering guidelines to suggest that is way, way too nice a home for him?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        The swankiness of the place will wear off soon enough. What matters is that he gets to spend 40 or 50 years in it.

    • phoenix00

      Is that bed padded? is that commode equipped with toilet paper?

      That’s too swanky for him.

      • starkitty

        We don’t want taxpayers to have to pay for treatment for septic shock and bedsores.

        • phoenix00

          but… he’s a representative of the Party of Personal Responsibility so that’s on himself.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    So, no bond for the NoDAPL protestor charged with misdemeanor trespassing, but the confessed child molester is free.

    Got it.

  • Stulexington

    $75,000. I just can’t bring myself to be snarky, I’ll just say it outright: that’s really really low.

    • Swampgas_Man

      Hey now, there are some countries where you can buy a four yr-old for far less than 75,000 dollars. I feel sick that I know that.

  • azeyote

    just another brown person – oops – that’s right he’s white – so 75 grand and he’s out – you can’t play the victim when you’re the problem – the deplorable basket is large –

  • Logic of Color

    Don’t worry, little girl, Jesus will forgive him so you don’t have to!

    • HooverVilles

      This one sentence says a lot.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Has Jesus forgiven him yet? That and Mike Huckabee’s support is all I need to give this guy the benefit of the doubt.

  • obadiahorthodox

    I wish I could meet that piece of dog puke in a nice quiet jail cell, I would knock him out and use a broken bottle to cut off his penis and balls and stuff them in his throat.

    • zerosumgame0005

      WITH VOTES of course!

    • Vagendadentacohontas

      I’d rather he be conscious for the voting.

    • Hardly Ideal

      But you won’t. Remember, we’re the good guys, and he’s not. Vengeful mutilation won’t help.

    • doktorzoom

      Please review the rules. We don’t wish violence on people, not even clearly evil people. Intricate violent revenge fantasies may be your cup of tea, but are not welcome here. This is your one warning.

      — Dok Zoom, Yr Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator

  • Vagendadentacohontas

    I think I need to voluntarily check myself in somewhere after this…but not before I ask why his support group therapist (not to motion the pastor, but I don’t expect much from clergy generally) were unable to go to the police with his confessions? In my experience, if one poses a credible threat to themselves or others then licensed professionals are required to notify authorities…admittedly, I’m blind with rage and may has missed something above, and I’m sure as fuck not rereading it.

    • Slavakitty

      Courtesy childwelfare.gov:

      “Approximately 48 States, the District of Columbia, American Samoa, Guam, The Northern Mariana Islands, Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands designate professions whose members are mandated by law to report child maltreatment. Individuals designated as mandatory reporters typically have frequent contact with children. Such individuals may include:

      Social Workers
      Teachers, Principals, and other school personnel
      Physicians, nurses, and other health-care workers
      Counselors, therapists, and other mental health professionals
      Child care providers
      Medical examiners or coroners
      Law enforcement officers”

      They don’t mention clergy, but in the state where we reside my husband, as a Priest, is also a mandated reporter.

      • DT

        Priests/clergy may be mandated reporters but they cannot be in any way enforced if it was within the session of the service, like in confession.

        • Slavakitty

          I respectfully disagree. Were that the case, there would be no point in designating clergy as mandated reporters. My husband was advised that information concerning child abuse is not privileged and should not be kept confidential.

          • DT

            Find me one, literally one, instance of a priest being prosecuted for it. There are a LOT of statutes that are unenforceable for a variety of reasons.

  • Parchment Scroll

    First, the serious part of this post:
    Holy shit that is the most disgusting thing I have heard in a long time. How the fuck can this man not understand that age of consent exists for a goddamn reason?! From the ages of FOUR to SEVEN?! This is truly nauseating!

    Second, the snark:
    Who wants to lay odds this guy’s a Trump supporter?

    • sw19tacotruck

      If you think 4 years old is bad, I would strongly suggest not looking up the case against the Lost Prophets singer. Ever.

      • Parchment Scroll

        What’s that you say? Google “baby fruit bats”? Okay!

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkeSSdwbnPg

        • bookish

          Even baby bats are cute. Who’d a thunk it?

        • Fallulah

          D’aweeee the boo boo baby snookie wookie!!!

  • JParkerSD46

    This fucktard is OUT? Holy mother of Thor. Oh, wait…he confessed and asked forgiveness from his lord and savior. So that makes it all better. Except for it a was a CHILD, you disgusting, hypocritical, worthless piece of crap. Please let there be justice and this thing goes to prison for the rest of his life.

    • Stephen Reb

      Lucky for him that he didn’t have drugs in his pocket. Then he really would have been in trouble!

  • JParkerSD46

    Oh, yeah. And he blames the CHILD? Sure, it makes perfect sense that a four year old was okay with it, said no one ever. Enjoy your time in prison, you disgusting animal dropping (my apologies to animal droppings everywhere). I understand the cons have very special welcoming activities for child molesters. Hope you make lots of new friends.

    • Slavakitty

      Predators have an especially odious tendency to attempt to justify their actions by blaming their victim(s).

  • Roadstergal

    Drumpf supporter?

    • phoenix00

      Irresponsible not to speculate

    • Matt Proctor

      no a Democrat of course.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Nominally a Dem, but as a hypocritical God-botherer he’s most likely to be a Trumpanzee.

  • A_Guy_In_Oregon

    Seriously? They let a suicidal confessed child molester free for six months ’til trial.
    what could possibly go wrong?

    • hillarysleftone

      i think that’s the plan, give him enough rope (or bullets, or Seconal) and sufficient freedom and he’ll save the state a metric fuck-ton of money it would have spent housing his ass in admin seg for the next 30-40 years or whatever his life expectancy is.

      • A_Guy_In_Oregon

        my concern would be who he decides to take with him

  • A_Guy_In_Oregon

    in what possible scenario could anyone infer seduction from a 4yr old child?!

    • vivian

      psychosis

    • Slavakitty

      Best way ever to rationalize exploiting an innocent victim. It’s a knee-jerk to anyone with those sort of inclinations.

  • svejk

    mmmmm, “life sentence.” i like the sound of that.

  • Swampay

    Hey, he told it all to Jesus, why should he have to do prison too?

    Life sentence? Sounds about right. So hoping he gets the full sentence and therefore dies in prison, that’s not wishing injury on him, is it? I hope he dies in prison after a long tedious life of baloney sandwiches, uncomfortable beds, and bitter remorse over what he’s done.

    • eddi

      Well, all but the last. His kind never admit they might be in the wrong.

  • E K Wallace

    My cutest kitty picture, for use in emergencies.

  • Peggy Landry

    google “Louisiana Prison Little Miss Muffin”

  • Hardly Ideal

    I’ve said it before, but the cute animals don’t really help. They’re adorable, but at the end of the day you still have a guy blaming a 4-year-old girl for the rape he perpetrated.

    I say we just start awful posts with awful things. Like… I dunno. Demons or something.

  • If he is facing a life sentence, I hope he gets the right judge who will make sure it happens.

  • Heart. In. My Throat.
    Posting rules prevent my saying exactly what I would do to this septic god-botherer.

  • Slavakitty

    Actually, odious as this man obviously is, he could be even worse. Pedophiles typically don’t confess. Far from it. They tend to maintain complete innocence even when there is ample evidence of guilt, because they know it is very difficult to prove in court, especially when the victim is a child. Even more so if they remember to intimidate their victim(s) into silence, which does as much, if not more, psychological damage to the victim IMHO.
    Even so, that is what worries me. He’s likely to find a Richard A. Gardner apologist judge who will let him off the hook despite all the confessions.

    • starkitty

      As i was reading this, I’m reminded of the judge in Brock Turner’s case who obviously didn’t consider what Brock did was rape. Some men in generations back didn’t think anything about feeling up little girls. It was like because there was no penetration it didn’t count? Freud got pilloried by his peers when he brought incest up, and backed down, inventing that seducttion crap. And of course no one talked about it, so these guys never got to hear from well adjusted men, “WTF are you doing?”

      OTOH it seems like he did know it was wrong. Making one wonder why he thought he could get away with it.

      My head hurts.

      • Amy!

        It’s a little hard to tell, isn’t it?

        The “she wanted it” defense [excuse me, I had to go puke after writing that phrase] is highly typical for pedophiles. It can’t be “abuse” if “she enjoyed it”. And the ones who are caught often seem to want to talk about it. Like, a lot. It’s accepting that it’s wrong, accepting that they need to change, accepting that they damaged another human who deserves restitution, to be me made whole in legal terms, those are the things that differentiate the continuing/recidivist pedophile from the potentially salvageable.

        We know he confessed he did it. We don’t know whether that “did it” was “I abused a child” or “I let her seduce me” [sorry, another barf break] or “we submitted to our sinful natures” (or the equivalent religiously obfuscated horseshit).

        I was going to end by saying “it makes a difference,” but … honestly? Even regret and honest intention to make amends isn’t really enough to make me want to forgive this vile excrescence. Still, as Slavakitty says, it could be worse, and … well, based on what we know, it may be worse, depending upon what his “confession” was. If it was “I suck and hurt her,” he could tell her that and maybe help her to start healing. I don’t know how he could do that and plead not guilty.

        Also, I thought that most privileged communications lost privilege if crimes were committed?

        • starkitty

          That’s what I thought too. After the Catholic Church fiasco, I can’t imagine any church entity would insist on covering for a crime, even known through confession.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            The RCC holds priests to absolute secrecy about what they hear in the confessional – no matter what they hear – and so far, civil law has respected that position.
            The priest can try to talk the person into surrendering to the police, and try to talk them out out of their plans for future crimes, but that’s about it. If a priest knows who is in danger, he can tell the cops that much, but not who presents the threat. In this case, if a priest learned who the girl was, that information could have been given out.

        • Larkin

          That’s my understanding, too… my therapist specifically stated in her paperwork that she would be obligated to break confidentiality in the event of a legal investigation (or if I told her I was hurting myself or another person, which would include child molestation).

          • Regret

            Question: do these anti-confidentiality laws not mean that horrible people can’t get the mental health care they need to stop being horrible people? I.E. these laws’ main effect seems to be to sweep the problem under the rug instead of taking care of the problem.

  • FZsdaughter

    Life without parole. Next.

    • Truly Madly Derply

      It’s the little girl who will serve that sentence (and deservedly so, man–what a little hussy). In all seriousness, there’s only one appropriate sentence for this walrus ‘stashed abomination and it borrows heavily from Lewis Carroll: “Off with his head(s)!” In a very particular and drawn-out order.

  • HooverVilles

    I CAN’T EVEN!!!

  • When does his show on TLC start? Probably a wacky buddy comedy with Josh Duggar?

  • SeeTrain65

    I’ll be over here quietly retching in the corner, once again remembering this man inhabits my state.

  • Celtic_GnomePlorable

    I smell a Presidential Pardon from President Trump. We are talking someone who discussed the potential future breasts of his infant daughter.

    • Malcolm_Kirkpatrick

      Keenan’s a Democrat.

  • eddi

    “The woman tempted me.” Very Biblical indeed.

    • Larkin

      “The little girl tempted me.”

      Fixed that for you.

      • eddi

        Thanks, I think.

    • Bobby

      Unlike Muslims, you will not find Christians backing this man. With Muslims they back the people who do such things because it is written in the quran that they should. You have the wrong religion.

      • thewendyb

        Bobby you are DEEPLY MISINFORMED. Christians back these pervs ALL THE TIME.

        • MrCanoehead

          Duggar.

        • Bobby

          you are perfectly welcome to show an example, unlikely as it is you will find one.

  • Thaag Tidestalker

    Yeah but he asked Jesus to forgive him so he’s not guilty anymore!

    Isn’t that how it works? Isn’t that why jail is only full of gross heathens and atheists and Jews?

    • Bobby

      no, that is NOT how it works. One can not continue in committing a crime/sin of ANY kind and ask forgiveness and be forgiven.

    • thewendyb

      That’s how it works. All you need is one seconds repentance before your last breath and NO MATTER HOW VILE YOUR SINS you are past those Pearly Gates, baby, home free.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Yeah, but you have to really mean it. (Jeebus knows if you mean it.)
        And as Calli noted, you might have to spend a couple trillion years in Purgatory, because that’s how God keeps score.

    • Calli Arcale

      No, that’s not really what it means.
      What exactly it means depends on which sect you ask, but generally it’s a variation on “if you confess, you won’t have to go to hell for it”. You still did it, though, and would still face whatever punishment applies in the physical world — God’s forgiveness is just between you and God, it doesn’t set you right with anyone else. And to Catholics, you’ll also have to work it off in Purgatory before you can enter Heaven.

      • Thaag Tidestalker

        Eeep I’m sorry, I forgot to tag that with the Sarcazm™ font.

  • chiefkurtz

    Gotta tell you…..xianity is a great racket, unlimited forgiveness for unlimited transgressions.

    • Bobby

      don’t work that way

      • chiefkurtz

        Prove me wrong.

    • Malcolm_Kirkpatrick

      Sounds like a gig at the State Department, IRS, VA, EPA, …

  • Rob McNearny

    All he has to do is repent, and all will be forgiven! Meanwhile, a young girl will probably be messed up for the rest of her life.

  • Skokieguy [Larry]

    $75K bail for this but a guy (surprise: not white) who steals lots of designer coats has his bail set at $350K.

    • Kappadonna

      I thought the same thing but then I wondered if “bond” meant the 10% you give a bail bondsman. I didn’t wonder hard enough to ask my pal, Google, though.

  • The Annoyed Elephant

    And here comes the uncomfortable pause when the writers at Wonkette neglect to mention that this mayor… is a registered Democrat.

    https://voterrecords.com/voter/35034505/richard-keenan

    • thewendyb

      A) Blue dog democrats are not REAL Democrats and B) Republicans did not take ALL of the Deplorables.

      • Malcolm_Kirkpatrick

        A) Newspaper and Wonkette writers are not real journalists. B) Protected workshops don’t take all mentally challenged adults; some attend J-school.

      • The Annoyed Elephant

        His voter ID would seem to say otherwise.

      • MM

        Ah, the “no true Scotsman” defense.

    • Last Hussar

      So what? Still an arsehole.

      • The Annoyed Elephant

        An arsehole Democrat. But then, I’m repeating myself.

        • Julian Cicone

          Oh you mean like Trumps advisor and republican molesting boys?

          • The Annoyed Elephant

            I repeat…

          • Julian Cicone

            Dude you are the one who is trying to make this a Democrat vs republican thing as if you republicans are all innocent. GOP is king of pedophiles. Like I said, just recently Trump campaign advisor/republican Oklahoma senator was engaging in prostitution with a minor. He’s a pedophile.

    • Julian Cicone

      And yet just recently a republican and Trump supporter was caught molesting boys and was arrested. So there you go

      • The Annoyed Elephant

        And? Strawman much?

        • Julian Cicone

          And what is your point posting that this mayor was a Democrat. Why does his political affiliation matter? It’s amazing how you try to make this a Democrat vs republican thing and yet just recently a republican Oklahoma senator/Trump advisor was recently busted for soliciting prostitution to a minor. So congrats, you republicans have pedophiles too

  • unionconchck

    He can still get his vote in for Hillary. A DEPLORABLE DEMOCRAT!

    • Julian Cicone

      Why would he do that? He’s not a democrat

  • unionconchck

    Jesusy?

    More like DEMOCRATY!

    LOL!!!!

    • sw19tacotruck

      YOR SO FUNNY LOVE THE CAPSLock btw!!!!!!

    • Julian Cicone

      No he was deeply religious. And zero evidence that he was a democrat. You fail

  • Goposaur

    I’m anti-capital punishment, but man, this is really pushing it…

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    “He faces a life sentence if convicted.”
    Maybe – just maybe – that explains the not guilty plea.

  • Last Hussar

    I work in a UK prison. We have a guy for rape of Under 18 (so I’m guessing over 16, age of legal consent, or he’d be up for the underage bit)

    His father has recently received a life sentence for raping him, his brothers and his sisters.

    Unfortunately “What goes around comes around” isn’t always positive.

  • handyhippie65

    A FOUR YEAR OLD!!! i feel sick after reading this.i’m gonna shut up now, before i say something to piss off dok. if these are the actions of a good christian, just imagine what evil he would have committed if he weren’t a christian.

  • eric blaine

    “godly”…”jesusy” guy, wow sounds like one of those REPUBLICANS, doesn’t it? 20 stories, but NONE mention what he is, so I suspected he is a DEMOCRAT, Big Time, and guess wha—YES, he is. Weird how all, ALL, media now so bias. Start watching stuff like this and you will see that the book 1984 and “NEWSPEAK” IS NOW FULLY INCORPORATED INTO ALMOST EVERYTHING WE READ. Anyway, an O.T.O Democratic perv maybe, hiding in plain sight in his “church” and Mayor’s Office. Still not as bad as “Hosanna Church” satan worship in Louisiana a few years back. I hope Trump gets in and turns the Train to Hell in the USA around. We need FULL SPEED in the OPPOSITE DIRECTION NOW!

    • Julian Cicone

      Yea not a single piece of evidence that shows that the dude was a Democrat. No ones mentioning it because it’s irrelevant. For all we know he’s a registered independent. You’re pathetic

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